CHAPTER 6:

THE GOSSIP GIRLS

The sun still shined bright in the town of Springfield as Lisa Simpson drove through the streets with the calm and quiet glide of her silver electric car, the Electorres. She pulled into the parking lot of a local coffee shop that was only a short five-minute drive away from her apartment, exited her vehicle and begun to walk with a stride of calm confidence to the door of the coffee shop.

"Lisa," a high-pitched voice called from the distance of the parking lot, causing her to turn her head to spot the two women that she planned to meet. Sherry and Terry, the infamous Mackleberry twins. "I'm Sherry, long time no see," one of the twins said with a smile, differentiating herself from her identical-looking sister as they approached.

"Yeah, it's sure been one heck of a minute," Lisa said as she clapped hands with both sisters with two enthusiastic high-fives.

"This was a good idea, Lisa," Terri, the alternate twin said. "Catching up on coffee before book club..." she paused with a slight sigh. "Things have just been so overwhelming lately. Work and school have been a real bitch."

"Don't worry, I know what you're going through," Lisa said with a chuckle as she proceeded towards the shop with the two twins behind her. "Trust me when I say I don't miss those days... Working while in college is one hell of a task."

When they were younger, Lisa and the Mackleberry twins never were true friends. Although they had their tiffs, some who knew them could define their relationship to be somewhat mutual. Sure, the twins never expressed an interest in Lisa, and the feelings were reciprocated, but there were moments when the three girls saw eye-to-eye. One of some of those moments included when the twins would berate her brother, Bart.

The three girls ordered their beverages, and took a seat in a booth that was next to a window, which was chosen by Lisa. Lisa sat with the window to her left, and the twins sat across from her.

"So, how have things been, Lisa," Sherri asked.

"They've been the same way as they've always been I guess… busy," she replied. "I can't really complain though. I mean yeah, my job can be aggrevating at times, but it pays the bills and all that good stuff. That's all that matters, right?"

"Yeah," Terri agreed. "I've been working at the Kwik-E-Mart for a few months and it's not as bad as I thought."

"It's still surprising to me that Apu's letting you run the place," Sherri said.

"Man, he's sure been running that shop forever," Lisa added. "It's about time he let someone come in and help out."

Sherri picked up her drink, a Salted-Caramel Mocha latte, took a sip and said, "We both tried to get jobs there, but he only needed one person, so I let Terri take it."

"That's mighty kind of you," Terri chuckled.

"Well, you are the struggling college student complaining about books, classes and all that other expensive college crap," her sister rebuttled, "so it only makes sense to let you have it, right?"

"Well, some people wanna try and make something of themselves, unlike Bart Simpson," Terri shot back with a smirk, which her twin matched a moment later. The two girls laughed at Terri's joke as they look across the table to see an angry-faced Lisa Simpson holding her cup, hesitating to take a sip of her Mint tea.

"I knew that was coming sooner or later," Lisa said, taking a sip of her beverage. "You guys never liked him, and I can't say I blame ya either."

"How's he doing anyway," Sherri asked. "He's still shaking his flab for money?" Both twins errupted in laughter again, causing Lisa to frown once more.

"Actually, no, he's done with the whole 'exotic dancer' thing," Lisa replied, somewhat unsure if she should be having this conversation in a public place. While most people knew about Bart's exotic dancing, she wanted to refrain from bringing it up. "He works at a warehouse now."

The twins, still with smiles on their identical faces, asked "Doing what," in unison.

"He said he helps with packing and unpacking the delivery trucks or whatever. We didn't really go into it. He was telling me about how much he hates it and how he wants to quit."

"Really," Terri said with a mischevious smile. "How long has he been working there?"

"He just got the job earlier this week. He hasn't been shaking his flab as you put it for about six months now." It was Lisa's turn to smile as the shot put the twins' brother-bashing to a halt. Both smiles on both Sherri and Terri's faces disappeared, with their faces taking on a more serious look. Lisa felt somewhat proud at this. The two girls have bashed her brother all throughout their lifetime, and although she wasn't her brother's biggest fan, and she did take part in the bashing herself, Lisa still felt the need to stick up for him, at least against those who took a jab at him every time they've got, like Sherri and Terri did.

"Has it really been six months," Sherri asked.

"I believe so," Lisa answered. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but the last time he danced was the time he got knocked out, and that was around Christmas and New Years."

"Oh yeah," Terri said with a smirk as she tapped her head. "I remember now. Six months sounds about right." There was a slight pause before Terri said, "Wait, he's been without a job for this long. Damn, he could've applied at the Kwik-E-Mart way before I did."

"Yeah, but you know how Bart is," Lisa said. "He's not gonna do womething until he's ready. Apu could've came to my place and offered him a job anytime, and he probably would've acted like he was interested, but if he doesn't have anyone pushing him, then he's not gonna do a damn thing."

"He's been living with you this whole time too," Sherri screetched, causing Lisa to wince. "Your parents got tired of him, huh?"

"Shit, wouldn't you after some point? I've only had him for three months and I'm tired of him. They were fed up with him coming home drunk all the time and stiffing them on the bills so they sent him packing. Unfortunately, he came unpacking at my apartment."

Sherri excused herself to use the restroom, leaving Lisa and her twin at the table to continue their riviting conversation.

"So, I'm guessing you hit him with the same altimatum," Terri asked. "Get a job and help out or leave?"

"Essentially, and it looks like it worked. Don't ask me how, but he's going somewhere and getting money of some sort. Crazy thing is I'm not asking him to chip in on anything. I just want him to get on his feet."

"Yeah, I understand. You just want the best for him, just like any relative would." Terri takes a long sip from her beverage and asks, "I hope he doesn't stumble on your collection of Jamie Rose novels."

A smirk crept onto Lisa's face as she pondered the idea that it could've been her mother who discovered her fondness for the erotic novelist's work. "No, he hasn't yet," Lisa said with a chuckle. "My mom almost did yesterday though. I almost left one on the end table in the living room when I was interrupted reading."

"You're reading the new book that came out this year, right," the twin asked with enthusiasm. There was a small buzzing sound that caused the table to vibrate. Terri reached down to grab her phone.

"Yeah, but before you say anything, I haven't gotten to the good stuff yet."

"No worries," Terri said as she put her phone down. "I'm not gonna do you like that. But, there's some really juicy scenes in there that I'm sure you'll like."

"I'm sure there is," Lisa said with a smirk. "You already know how I am about Jamie Rose novels." Terri nods, showing a sign of agreement. "How are the kids doinng?"

"Well, they're doing as good as can be expected I guess," Terri replied. "They're father is the main problem. He could be your brother's twin ya know."

Lisa let out a snorting laugh. "I'm sure he could. I never saw Nelson Muntz to be the fatherly type. How the hell did that even happen anyway; if you don't mind me asking? One man getting twins pregnant isn't a story you hear everyday."

"Yeah, and it's not really a conversation that should be had in a coffee shop either."

Both girls chuckled as Sherri returned.

"What's so funny," she asked the two. "I wanna laugh too."

"Lisa wants to know the Nelson story."

"Which one," Sherri asked, eliciting another schoolgirlish giggle from her twin. "There are many of those. Some are good and some are absolutely horendous."

Lisa's phone began to ring with a jazz-style ringtone. She scans the caller ID, and says, "I gotta take this," and leaves the table for privacy.

Both twins look at each other. Sherri begins to grin, and her sister followed soon after with an ear-to-ear grin of her own.

"You sure you wanna do this," Terri asked remorsefully.

"Of course I do," Sherri replied with a smile. "Bart's been lying to Lisa this whole time, and she's stupid enough to fall for it. He deserves to be found out."

"But we don't know if it's completely true though."

"Yeah, I know, but do you think Martin would lie about something like that?" Silence befalls upon them both, Sherri continues. "Think about it. He said that he, Milhouse, and Kearnie got together with Bart at a bar. Bart drank himself unconscious and they helped to get him home. When they dumped him in his room, it was Martin's idea to undress him so he could be comfortable, and that's when he saw him in a thong."

Terri nods in agreement, and takes another sip of her drink, emptying her cup.

"It all adds up," Sherri continued in a hushed whisper. "We know he was in a thong. Granted, wearing a thong doesn't make you a stripper, but the one he was wearing was the one he usually stripped in, according to Martin anyways. Why didn't he take it off, god only knows. Let's not forget the icing on the cake, Milhouse told Martin that Bart still strips, and guess what, the bar that they were at was close to Maneuvers too. Everything adds up!"

Terri sighed, "Look, I get all that, but you know that Lisa's gonna flip when she finds out."

"We are supposed to be her friends, right," Sherri asked. "Granted, we may not be that close, but she still doesn't deserve to be used like this."

"Don't get me wrong, he deserves whatever's coming to him. I just don't think we should get into their business. At least, not like you want to anyway."

"C'mon, Terri," Sherri snaps, "don't go getting soft on me now. We won't really be doing anything wrong really. We'll just show Lisa the truth."

"And what if we're wrong?"

A serious look overtakes Sherri's expression as she says, "If we're wrong, then we're wrong, I'm sure Lisa will understand, but we're not wrong, Terri. I'm pretty sure about that. Only thing we'll be taking a guess at is if he'll be working tonight, but I'm pretty sure he will be. Saturday nights are pretty good for strippers ya know."

The twins grow silent as Lisa returns to the table. Terri nods to her twin, appearing to give her approval, although it may not be with her full consent.

"I'm gonna have to go back to the house before our book club," Lisa said as she sat down. "I have to send some documents over to my boss really quickly."

"Are you gonna leave now," Sherri asked.

"I'm gonna have to leave soon if we're gonna make the meeting on time."

There was a small pause, then Sherri says, "Lisa, would you believe us if we said that Bart was still stripping?"

The gleeful look on the young yellow-skinned girl abruptly vanishes, getting replaced by one of confusion. "I'm not sure," she replied in a somewhat stern tone. "I'd have a hard time not believing it, but he'd really have no reason to lie. Everyone already knows that he did it before."

The twins knew why he kept his recent stripping a secret, but both agreed that it would be wise to not reveal this information to his sister at the moment.

"Well, we heard that he's been stripping at Maneuvers Strip Club for the last few months," Sherri said. Lisa's face turned a bright red. "We heard it from Martin, and he heard it from Milhouse."

"B-But…" Lisa stammeered. She heard of the club before. It's name had a striking familiarity with her because it seemed to be the punchline to any and all jokes her father made towards his boss' assistant, Mr. Smithers. "Isn't Maneuvers a gay strip club?"

"I think so," Sherri answered. "That's why I'm not entirely sure if it's true what Martin said, but if he heard from Milhouse, it's gotta be true. We thought it'd be best to tell you regardless if it is or not."

Lisa's body took on somewhat of a catatonic state. She stayed silent and still, unsure if her brother had been lying to her the entire time about looking for a job, and eventually getting one at a warehouse. She knew that Milhouse took Bart back and forth to work, and when she offered to drive him, Bart declined. He spent a lot of time at Milhouse's home, so his decision was understandable to some degree, and after all, he's only been working for a week.

Lisa thought about asking Milhouse about Bart's true employment status, but she knew that Milhouse would never tell her the truth, and surely Bart would never tell her the truth either. The simple solutions were out of the question.

She then pondered what her family's reactions would be to the new revealation of Bart working as a stripper again, but this time, at a club for gay males. There was one thing Lisa knew for sure; their father would not approve one bit

"I can't just drop this," Lisa said sternly. "I gotta find out if this is true or not."

"How are you gonna do that," Terri asked.

"Simple, I'm gonna tail him from Milhouse's tonight to see where he goes. Not sure how long I'll have to do it for, but if he's going to work as a stripper, he's doing it at night. Milhouse gives him rides most of the time, so within the next week, I'll know for sure what he's up to."

"You think that'll work," Sherri asked. "It's not gonna be as easy as you may think. I'm sure both Bart and Milhouse know your car and will see you coming from a mile away."

"Good point," Lisa agreed as she scratched her head. "That's gonna be the tricky part."

The twins looked at Lisa as she attempted to conjure a solution to the latest obstacle of her problem, then Terri intervened.

"Not sure about the weeknights, but we can tail them tonight in my car. They don't know what I drive."

"Are you sure," Lisa asked, "I wouldn't want to get you guys involved in my problems. You already have enough to deal with in your lives."

"We're okay with it," Sherri said with a smile. "I kinda want to find out if this is really true or not."

"Me too actually," Terri cosigned. "It's settled; well, for tonight at least. We'll go to Milhouse's apartment and have a little stakeout and follow them to wherever their going. Do you know if he works tonight?"

"I think so. I do remember him saying that he works weekends, so we might be in luck."

"Perfect," Sherri said. "Here's the plan then: go home and take care of whatever you gotta do for your boss, and we'll follow you, and from there, we can take our car to book club and then to Milhouse's for the mission."

Sherri says this with a devilish smile, causing Lisa to smile back. Lisa always enjoyed reading and watching crime mysteries, and although this scenerio wasn't of that variety, she got exccited at the idea of tailing her brother as if she were a private investigator from a James Patterson novel.

"Sounds like a plan," Lisa agreed. "Let's just hope they're there when we get there."

"If there not, we'll head straight to Maneuvers as a backup plan," Sherri said. "Where else would they be besides the apartment."

The twins and Lisa continued to discuss the possibilities of their plan in an attempt to troubleshoot any obstacles that may arise. After finishing their drinks, Lisa thanked the twins for their help for the impending mission, and headed to her vehicle.

"We got really lucky ya know," Terri said with a giggle. "I didn't think things would go that smoothly."

"Yeah, I thought we would have to do a little more convincing," Sherri said, following her twin up with a schoolgirlish giggle of her own.

"Good work!"

"Back at ya," Sherri responded.

The twins slapped palms in a high-five as they exited the caffe.