Prologue: No More Heroes
"No Hero."
A door opened, revealing a dapper office cloaked in darkness. For a high-end building, the place was shabby. But that could wait. There were far more important things to worry about at the moment.
A single inkling stepped in, softly closing the door behind them. A dim light flickered to life, revealing the inkling's black tentacled hair—an odd ink color of choice in today's age.
They wore formal attire, perfectly tailored and fitted with black circular glasses that gleamed in the light, concealing their eyes. They walked forward, adjusting their glasses before straightening their posture.
The elegantly dressed inkling came to a stop behind a desk littered with an assortment of items. One of which was a simple gray remote. They took a deep breath before sitting down in their office chair, then pressed a button on the remote. In the very next instance, the large TV screen mounted on the wall across from the desk lit up, brightening the room further.
As the static on the screen fuzzed out, the head of another inkling appeared. Unlike the black tentacled inkling, this inkling had white ink. Actually, everything about them was white. Their hair, their sailor hat, their eyes—everything but their skin was pure white, and their skin wasn't any better. It had no color, taking on a monotone shade of gray instead.
Along with their already eerie color hues, cracked black lines formed from the edges of their lips, and their black irises seemed to move even when their eyes remained perfectly still.
The white inkling stared at the other with a blank expression on their face.
"Captain! It's good to see you again. How's it been?" Urus said with a wide smile, his voice filled with a mix of excitement and nervousness.
"Status." was all the white inkling said, shooting down the first inkling's attempt at small talk. Their voice was as emotionless as their face.
The first inkling's smile faltered; There was a short delay before he leaned back in his seat and replied. "Well, what can I say? It's the same as the last update I gave you. Everything is going according to plan."
"Urus." Captain boomed, making Urus jolt in his seat. Somehow, him not expressing any emotion in his tone made his raised voice that much scarier. "We expect a better answer."
"But it's true!" Urus slammed both hands on the desk. "Inkopolis is in complete disarray. Crime riddles every corner, every street, and every alley. Whatever authority this city once had has since vanished!"
There was a long pause. Then, Captain spoke. "And the other problems?"
"If you're referring to those octarians in the canyon, don't worry about them. They're no threat."
"Urus."
"I'm serious! Besides, I've got Marinus all over it. I give it about a month before he completely squashes the resistance. And that'll be just in time for Operation: Harvest, no?" Urus relaxed, letting out a deep sigh in the process.
Suddenly, Urus's face became nervous. "B-by the way. How was that batch I sent? D-Did master find them to his liking?"
"They are fulfilling their purpose and appeasing him. For now." Urus let out another sigh of relief, but Captain wasn't done. "Operation: Harvest is ultimately what he wants. We are to ensure it happens. It is pivotal you take this situation seriously. Failure is unacceptable."
Somehow, Captain put his face closer to the screen. "Remember. We put you in your current position. We can just as easily remove you from it."
Urus abruptly stood up from his seat, making the chair slide back a little. "T-there's no need for threats, Captain! I am taking this just as seriously as you are," He exclaimed before quickly composing himself, adjusting his suit's red tie as he calmed down. "Like I said, Inkopolis is exactly how we want it. The octarian resistance is being quelled as we speak."
"And the New Squidbeak Splatoon?"
"The New Squidbeak Splatoon—Oh, this guy."
Urus couldn't help but chuckle and shake his head. This elicited an agitated-sounding response from Captain. "What is it you find so humorous?"
"What's funny is that you actually still see those jokes as a threat. We have bigger problems than some washed-up agents."
"Those 'washed-up agents' have accomplished more than we could know."
"Yeah, back in the stone ages! Come on, just think about it. If they were really going to be a problem, they would've done something by now. Especially after we snatched up a few of their own. But no. They've tucked their tentacles and ran. They've got no fight left in 'em."
"And you are certain they aren't hiding?"
"Absolutely. There's not a crack in this city I can't find them in." Urus laughed again before plopping back down in his seat.
"Like I've been saying, you've got nothing to worry about. Anyone who could've posed even the slightest threat to us has already been dealt with. Simply put, the heroes this city needs don't exist."
Urus lazily rested his head on the palm of his hand. After a moment, he chuckled. "I mean, let's be real here, Captain. Who could possibly stop us now?"