The Octo Bros: Zero to Hero

by TheLDude

The Great Zapfish has gone missing. That's not a surprise. What is a surprise is that idols, and even the Judds, have gone missing too! With their disappearance, the city of Inkopolis has fallen to crime. In the wake of such chaos, the city will find its heroes in the form of two lowly octoling brothers, Sal and Cal. They're nobodies, yet, they're Inkopolis's best (and only) hope.

4. New Agents

Chapter 2: New Agents

"New Agents, Old Splatoon."

---

For being so eager to leave, Cal sure took his sweet time getting dressed. Sal and Callie waited for him right outside the apartment door, but with each minute that passed, Sal grew more impatient. Just as he was about to barge in and forcefully drag Cal out, he finally opened the door.

Cal still wore his signature yellow-tinted shades, but for clothing, he wore a zipped-up brownish camo hoodie, long black pants, and slender brown boots. Not exactly the freshest attire, but then again, being fresh was no longer the status quo. Surviving was.

After hearing a few choice words from Sal, Callie quickly guided the two brothers through the city. They snaked through alleyways and buildings, taking backwater routes to avoid the parts of town occupied by gangs.

They walked a good bit before finally coming to a stop next to a sewer grate. "This way," Callie ushered. She would then morph into her squid form, slipping through the tiny bars like water.

Sal gave Cal an unsure look, but Cal responded with a slight shrug and a cheeky smile. Sal rolled his eyes before hesitantly following Callie into the sewers, with Cal following right behind him.

Once at the bottom, they shifted back into their bipedal forms to see Callie waiting for them. After both brothers got their bearings, she gestured for them to follow, then turned and led the way.

As expected, the smell wasn't the best. The city wasn't much better, but at least up there it was warm. Somehow, the sewers were freezing cold, even with a hoodie on. Callie didn't seem bothered by the low temperature though.

Considering they were secluded, Sal thought it best to ask Callie a few questions. Anything to get his mind off the horrid smell and frigid elements. "So... C-Callie." He called out, still in disbelief that he was talking to the Callie.

"Yes?" she answered, looking over her shoulder with a soft smile.

"About this secret agent society... Are you an agent too?"

Callie confirmed with a cheery, "Mhm!"

Now something wasn't adding up. "If that's true, why didn't you defend yourself?"

Before Callie could give a response, Cal spoke up. "Hey now, if she was really up against the Sam twins, then you, of all people, should know why. We could handle them any day of the week, sure. But they aren't pushovers." Cal cocked his head to the side. "'Sides, Callie is in her thirties, right? Pretty sure her fighting days are over."

Callie immediately turned around, beaming a death glare at Cal. "I'm not that old!" she huffed, pouting her cheeks. If she was old, she certainly wasn't acting like it.

Cal raised his hands defensively. "Whoa! Didn't mean any offense. I mean, you look good for your age!" He chuckled awkwardly, attempting to quell her anger.

Callie side-eyed him before crossing her arms. "Well, you aren't entirely wrong. I'm not half the fighter I used to be," she admitted with a remorseful sigh. "Either way, I didn't bring my weapon with me, so I was at a clear disadvantage. Even if I wasn't, the goal was recruitment, which I've achieved!" Her mood brightened instantly. "Welcome to the club, Agent 6 and 7." From how she looked at them, Sal could infer he was Agent 7 and Cal was Agent 6.

Callie hummed quietly before resuming her walk. "Hey, wait a second!" Sal quickly walked alongside her. "If we're agents 6 and 7, where are the rest of them?" He questioned, remembering how Callie's plea for help implied she was short on agents.

"Well, my callsign is Agent 1. My cus is Agent 2, but she's MIA."

Cal popped up on the other side of Callie. "Wait, you mean Marie's really missing?"

Sal looked at his brother dumbfounded. He couldn't believe he had just asked her that! Was he not paying attention to how Callie acted when he mentioned Marie back at the apartment?

"Yeah..." she confirmed in a sorrowful tone.

Well, since they were being on the nose about it, Sal decided to do the same. "You went into hiding, didn't you?" Cal looked at him with a confused expression on his face, as if Sal just suggested something completely random.

"Yes," Callie turned to Sal. "You're pretty observant."

"Well, after what you just said, that's the only way this situation makes sense." He held up a finger. "Marie went missing first. It made headlines everywhere and was all anyone talked about. A month later, you vanished. You going into hiding would be the only way to explain how you're standing in front of us right now, but not Marie." Sal paused. If Marie hadn't gone into hiding... "What happened to her?"

"She was taken," Callie answered definitely.

"Taken? By who?" Cal questioned.

Callie shook her head in response. "I don't know." She sighed. "Whoever took her didn't leave a trace."

"How do you know she was taken, then?"

"Because I know my cousin," Callie said defensively, sounding more offended than she intended to show. She eased up, exhaling softly. "And also, they came for me next. They were subtle at first, but I noticed something was wrong. Even started getting the gut feeling I was being watched from time to time. So, I dropped everything and 'disappeared.'" She finished with air quotes.

Cal looked at Sal. "Sounds like we have a serial squidnapper on our hands." He commented, suggesting that all the idols going missing were being squidnapped by the same person. What kind of vendetta do they have against those famous people?

"It sounds like something this 'secret agent society' should look into," Sal added, shooting a glare at Callie.

"Well... that's the thing. We were." She grumbled.

Sal tilted his head slightly. "Were?"

"It's not just idols that are being snatched. Whoever is doing this is going after the other agents as well."

"For eel?!" Cal blurted, to which Callie nodded.

"For eel. They've already gotten Agents 3 and 4... the captain, too. And gra—I mean, our senior advisor, has also gone radio silent."

Sal winced, realizing he just got himself and his brother into something serious. Though, it was too late to back out now.

"Don't know who any of those are, but I guess that explains why you were looking for new recruits." He sighed, thinking of some alternatives. Maybe it was still possible to weasel out of this situation. "What about Agent 5? What happened to them?"

"Oh, we don't assign the numbers based on when someone joins the group. So there is no Agent 5. Not yet, anyway." Callie placed a hand on her chin, ignoring the flabbergasted look on Sal's face. "But aside from me, we still have Agent 8 and Agent Moray, but both of them are currently on a different assignment in the Splatlands."

"Oh, that's lovely," Sal said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

The more eager of the two brothers bounced up beside Callie again. "So, about our assignment!"

"Right, you're gonna be helping me retrieve those zapfish."

Sal intervened. "Well, that's obvious. But two questions. One, are the zapfish tied to the idols disappearing? And two, where the shell are we going?"

Callie abruptly stopped walking. "Well, to answer your first question, I'm not sure. Though, based on the intel I have, no. The two incidents aren't related. And for your second question, we're already here." She finished with a smile, then switched into her squid form and launched upward, slipping through the grate on the ceiling.

Neither Sal nor Cal noticed they had walked underneath another grate, despite the light beaming down from it, brightening the dark tunnels. How long have they been walking?

Cal looked away from the ceiling and at his brother, seeing what he'd do. "Well, we came this far, didn't we?" Sal said, which made Cal smirk in response. Soon after, they both transformed and blasted towards the grate and out of the sewers.

Within seconds, they were blinded by the brightness of the afternoon sun. It took a minute for their eyes to adjust. The sight was bizarre, to say the least.

In front of them was a wide field harboring a multitude of small tents and makeshift shacks. Scattered all around the structures was an army of octoling soldiers wearing light armor, most of whom were women with yellow tentacled hair.

The soldiers hadn't noticed the brothers or Callie, as they were deeply focused on their own work.

There were tables set up all around the tents and shacks, and at each table was a group of soldiers. Each group did something different. Some were drawing up plans and pitching ideas. Others worked together to assemble strange mechanisms, most likely weapons. Then there were those who weren't doing anything productive and were simply relaxing, which either involved playing cards, chatting, eating, or sleeping.

To Sal, the scene was equivalent to his middle school cafeteria, except the students were armed amazons.

"Dang, we died and went to heaven, didn't we?" Cal said, completely enamored.

Sal's face immediately scrunched up. Then he smacked the back of Cal's head with mild force, resulting in a resounding slap. "Don't start that!"

Cal rubbed the back of his head, holding a hand out to signal for Sal to stop. "Hey, hey! I was just playing!"

Before Sal could do anything else, Callie called out to the brothers and waved them over. "Guys, over here!" Evidently, she had already moved on ahead. Callie was now perched in front of an old-looking cabin, standing next to one other figure and a large floating vessel. To get to her, they had to cross the field of octoling soldiers.

They moved quickly, but cautiously. Sal kept his guard up, looking around at all the other soldiers. He noticed a few of them were currently in the midst of building even more shacks, while others were doing some sort of training routine with a commanding officer. Cal was less observant of danger and more so just gawking. Luckily, the few soldiers that did notice them didn't give them anything more than a glance.

The two reached Callie in no time, and it was then Sal realized who was standing next to her. Before he could react, Cal placed a hand out in front of Sal, stopping him in his tracks. "Yep, this is fate. I'd be a fool to ignore it."

"Cal, no." Sal said sternly, though Cal didn't seem to pay him any mind.

That was an ongoing problem with his brother. Cal was... well, let's put it this way: there was a reason people back home often referred to him as a sleazeball.

And now, as if life wasn't already hard for Sal, chatting with Callie was none other than another supposedly missing idol, Marina.

Like Callie, she wasn't wearing her usual idol attire. Instead, she wore more casual clothing. Though, unlike Callie, her features were incredibly unique. Nobody could mistake her for someone else, even if they were blind.

The two idols were chatting away, not realizing Sal and Cal were nearby. Cal took this time to squish his afro, trying to make it more presentable. "My hair's gotta look good. Does my hair look good?" He turned to Sal, seeking his opinion.

Considering who Cal was, it was easy to guess Marina's physical appearance had him enthralled. He wouldn't be the first, as that's just the effect she had on people. Shoot, there was a reason she was among the top ten prettiest idols in Inkopolis, at least according to media blogs.

Still, now was not the time to be shooting any shots. Sal made this clear by grabbing Cal's ear and yanking on it, eliciting a muffled yelp from him. "For the last time, quit it. This is our first impression! Don't make us look bad." After seeing the whole field of soldiers, Sal's skepticism regarding the secret group of agents had long since vanished. Now, he was just worried about keeping up a good image so the group felt no need to terminate them.

"Alright! Alright! You've made your point loud and clear. Now lemme go!" Cal pleaded. Sal showed mercy and released his ear. Cal immediately went to rub the area Sal violently pinched. "Jeez, you're no fun at all sometimes. You remind me of ma, y'know that?"

Sal's annoyed expression fell away, being replaced with a small frown. He'd advert his gaze. Cal realized he shouldn't have said that. "Listen, Sal, I didn't mean to—"

"It's fine," he interrupted. "Let's just get this agent charade over with already." Before anything else could be added, Sal walked up to Callie and Marina. Cal sighed before following.

Finally, their presence was noticed. Callie was the first to perk up. "They're here!" She announced and ran to the brothers.

Sal stopped when he saw the large floating vessel slowly turn around. He hadn't realized it was being piloted until the vessel's sole occupant revealed themselves.

The occupant in question was a very large octoling. They were in their swim form for some reason, with their front tentacles crossed over one another, revealing the large green X-shaped scar on one of them.

"Hmm." Sal looked away from the scar and into the octoling's menacing green eyes after hearing him groan. He looked angry. "So these the fools you managed to drag back from the city?" The octoling boomed, speaking much louder than he needed to. He sounded like a grumpy old man.

"What's got his tentacles in a twist?" Cal murmured to Sal, who had no response.

Callie waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, don't be like that, Octavio. We could use the help!"

Octavio's eyes narrowed, and he aggressively pointed a tentacle at Callie. "How many times do I have to say it? That's DJ Octavio to you!"

"Yeah, yeah, what evs," Callie said nonchalantly before turning to the brothers. "Guys, this is Octavio—"

"DJ Octavio." He corrected, citing an annoyed groan from Callie.

"DJ Octavio." She relented. "He's the leader of the Octarian Army, and our head of operations here."

Leader?

Sal looked a bit concerned as he turned to eye all the other soldiers on the field. If this guy really commanded all those octolings roaming about, then it'd explain why he was being so rude. He could afford to.

Sal turned back to see Callie now gesturing towards Marina. "And this here is—"

"Marina!" Cal finished.

"Well, if you knew who I was, I guess I should've known you'd recognize her."

"No kidding. I don't know a single person that doesn't know who Marina is!" Cal stated, unable to hide the excitement in his voice. Luckily, he seemed to be toning it down, so Sal refrained from smacking him in the back of the head again.

Callie continued. "She's our expert analyst and head engineer." Marina would return Cal's enthusiasm with a small wave and nervous smile.

Callie then turned back to face DJ Octavio and Marina. Now it was time to introduce the brothers. "These two are Sal and Cal, and starting today, they'll be agents 6 and 7!"

Marina nodded, then looked at both brothers. "I look forward to working with you!" She said with a more cheery-looking smile, though her tone sounded less confident than Callie's.

Suddenly, Octavio hurled into a fit of laughter. His hefty chuckles sounded quite sinister. "Ha! That's so like you, Ida. Always feigning what you really mean." Marina frowned, and Callie seemed to tense up. Sal couldn't help but feel there was some kind of animosity behind that sentence. Before he could read too far into it, Octavio lightened up abruptly. "In any case, these two better shape up to be good agents."

Callie smirked. "Every agent we've picked thus far has beaten you, haven't they?"

Octavio shook his head. "One, not every agent. Two, you've never been the one to pick 'em before."

"Bah!" Callie swatted at Octavio, being nowhere close to hitting him. "Picking good candidates runs in the fam! You'll see."

As much as Sal wanted to enjoy the banter going on in front of him, the situation felt off to him. Almost unreal. How could it not? There was an army of octarians behind him, two popular idols thought to be missing in front of him, and some old dude who managed to give off a powerful, authoritative aura above him.

Sal couldn't make sense of the situation at all. "Hold on, can we just rewind for a minute?" he said, gaining everyone's attention.

"What's up?" Callie stepped closer to him.

"I thought you said you were in desperate need of agents. But here we are amongst an army of them, plus another idol. Who, by the way, is also supposed to be missing!"

Callie tilted her head, confused. She stayed like that momentarily before her face morphed into a look of realization. "Oh! These guys aren't agents. We're just lending them support for the time being. And Marina, well, she's in the same boat as me."

By same boat, Sal had to assume that meant whoever was squidnapping the idols was also after her—which checked out. Everyone knew the Squid Sisters and Off the Hook were somewhat close companions. With that in mind, he decided not to ask about Pearl's whereabouts.

Sal stared back at the army of octolings, thinking about Callie's words. When she introduced DJ Octavio, he assumed "Octarian Army" was some codename for the secret agent society. Now that he thought about it, that wouldn't have made any sense. She already said the captain, whoever that was, went MIA too. If Octarian Army was a codename, and DJ Octavio was head of it, that would've made him captain, but he's clearly not.

"What would they need support for?" Cal wondered out loud, seeing as they were a whole army.

Octavio looked at Callie. "You didn't tell them?"

She sighed. "I was getting around to that." She gestured for both brothers to follow. They did so, with Octavio and Marina following close behind. "Remember how I said I knew where all the zapfish were going?"

"Yeah?" Sal answered.

"Well, they're all being funneled here." Callie stopped at the edge... Wait, edge?

Yeah, there was definitely an edge. The 'field' they were on happened to be an enormous platform that overlooked the rest of the strange landscape. There were plenty more of the same type of platforms in the distance.

"And, uh, where's here, exactly?"

"Octo Canyon," Octavio answered Sal, hovering beside him. "This was our logistic base. It's divided into five sectors, one of which we're in right now."

Sal was quick to catch Octavio's word choice. "Was?"

Octavio grumbled, causing Callie to snicker. "Someone's a little grumpy."

"Don't start. You've already accused me of stealing them."

Callie composed herself. "Right, right." She turned to Sal. "You see, when the zapfish first went missing, I had a sneaking suspicion on who the culprit was. Octavio was notorious for stealing the Great Zapfish in the past, so logically, I thought it was him again."

"I'm surprised that brain of yours can use logic."

"Oh, hush." Callie shook her head. "Anyway, I followed clues that led me to Octo Canyon. I was right about where the zapfish were going. Just not about who was taking them."

"Then who's stealing 'em?" Cal said, only for Marina to step up.

"Marinus." She said confidently, though in a way that implied they were supposed to know who Marinus was. Seeing their confusion, she elaborated. "He's an octarian who gained a foothold here in the canyon a few months ago, according to Octavio."

"Gah, don't remind me! That cheap upstart came out of nowhere, and ever since he's been nothin' but trouble!" Octavio's tentacles curled, giving off the impression he was clenching his fists. "He'd always try to damage my reputation and uproot the status quo. He failed at every turn. For a while, Marinus was nothing more than a nuisance. Then, one day, he rolls in with soldiers and technology I ain't ever seen and kicks me off my own turf. He's even driven those loyal to me out of their homes! Can you believe the nerve of that brat!?"

Callie rolled her eyes. "What I can't believe is you being unable to accept the fact that Marinus just happens to be as good at propaganda as you."

Octavio growled. "How many times do I have to say it? Only a handful of my soldiers defected to his side. Those that did should've been outnumbered ages ago, yet we're seeing forces equal to what we have now! How can you not see the beats he's droppin' are rife with witchery?"

"Maybe because the beats you're dropping are straight baloney!" Octavio didn't dignify Callie's statement with a response. He just stared.

Meanwhile, Sal seemed to get the gist of it. "So, basically, this Marinus guy overthrew Octavio and started a civil war?"

Callie nodded. "Pretty much, yeah."

"Okay... but why is he stealing Inkopolis's zapfish?"

Callie and Marina looked at each other awkwardly. "Well, aside from powering the various military outposts, we don't really know..." Callie replied meekly.

Sal raised an eyebrow. "You don't know?"

Callie shamefully shook her head. "There's nothing else that really shows what they're using the zapfish for. It's also why I'm not sure if they even have the Great Zapfish. If they did, I'm sure we would've detected a massive energy signature by now. So far, all we've gotten are these small readings scattered throughout the canyon."

Sal was stumped, but chose not to think too hard about it. If professional agents didn't know what was going on, he sure as shell wouldn't be able to figure it out.

"So basically, what I'm hearin' is we get to solve the city's energy problem and help change the tide in a civil war?" Cal grinned deviously. "When do we start?"

Callie, Marina, and Octavio all looked at each other. Perhaps they didn't expect that to be Cal's first response after hearing the whole situation. There wasn't even a hint of hesitation in his decision, as expected from the guy who lacked brains most of the time.

"Well, right now, if you're up for it!" Callie finally answered. "Octavio's lieutenant has been drawing up a plan to strike one of the less guarded outposts for a while now. It's basically ready. We just haven't had the time or the personnel to enact it."

Octavio perked up. "Speaking of," he slightly turned the floating vessel. "LIUETENANT! UP FRONT AND CENTER!" Octavio yelled. His voice was amplified by the mech, so there was no way the lieutenant didn't hear his call.

Sure enough, Sal saw a woman run up to the group seconds later. Like the other soldiers, she was an octoling with yellow hair and a single tentacle that curved slightly at the tip. Her eyes were gray, and her get-up was...sleek? He wasn't sure, honestly.

She wore a black jacket with a thin zipper on the left-hand side of her body, accompanied by large cone-shaped headphones. The jacket's sleeves were just short from covering her wrists, stopping at her forearms instead. It also didn't cover her stomach.

Her black leggings stuck to her legs like glue, hinting they were skin-tight. Further below on her feet were black boots, both of which had white zippers for some reason.

Everyone waited for the woman to stop her approach. When she did, Octavio turned back to Sal and Cal. "This here is Elite Lieutenant Sepia, one of my best. She'll be your guide, so to speak."

Callie clapped her hands. "Before you go, you should probably get changed into more suitable outfits. Oh, and also grab some weapons." She turned to Lieutenant Sepia. "Pacifica, could you show agents 6 and 7 where we store our equipment?"

Pacifica nodded to Callie's request, then eyed Sal and Cal with a skeptical look. Sal could tell she was sizing them up, maybe gauging just how tough they were from visuals alone. "So, you're the new agents, huh?" She spoke, her tone seething with contempt and prestigious authority. Neither of the brothers responded, not that she waited for an answer. She turned around, revealing a cylinder ink tank strapped to her back. It was filled with yellow ink. "Let's go." She demanded before strutting away.

The two brothers followed, but it was then that Sal realized something. As he walked, he looked over his shoulder at Callie and called out to her. "Hey! Does our group have a name or something?"

Callie giggled. "Oh, I never did tell you, did I?" She stood up straight and gave a firm salute. "Welcome, new agents, to the New Squidbeak Splatoon!"