Fall came and passed away with ease within the Rochester's home.
The house and the servants positions within it had truly fallen into a comfortable place. There was no more rearranging, no more change. Everyone went about their duties daily with happiness and a gratitude for their master. Jane herself could understand it. Once being a servant herself, she knew that one of the crippling fears one faced upon receiving new employment was always working for a master that was hard, violent or intolerant. Mr Rochester was quite the opposite. Oftentimes, Jane would find him talking to his servants almost conversationally. She remembered one day where she found him talking to a man in the silver polishing room about current problems this man had been having with his sisters child of whom he was responsible for since his sister had passed. Jane remembered being humbled in realizing how few masters would stop to truly engage with hired help. Although Mr Rochester was curiously empathetic in understanding situations outside of his experience, he only listened to this man as that was all he had wished for-and yet Jane thought the man left looking less burdened. Although Mr Rochester always knew where to draw a line between consideration and control the servants never seemed to need reminding of it, they respected him and thus they worked well.
As for Jane, she got along very well with all of the household as well. She often spent time with the women where she could be of use, whether that was in the kitchen, or laundry, or elsewhere. At first Edward had discouraged her, saying that she did not marry him to return to the work of servants. Yet when Jane had explained how difficult it was for her to sit back in luxury and watch other people work around her for her own comforts sake, that she could not bare it, he was quick to encourage her happiness, in whatever form it came. The women all had a sincere trust for Jane, especially the younger ones who were perhaps only 15 or 16. Though Jane was only a few years older then them herself, they were young for their age and at times silly. With Jane, they spoke of their hopes and dreams- their expectations for marriage and family. Jane even flattered herself that she may have kindled some ambition in them outside of what they believed possible for women of their station. It was wonderful to feel useful in some way to them.
. . .
One afternoon Jane found herself alone in the upstairs main hall. Although it was the primary passage through the third floor of the house it was always very quiet here. Jane loved sitting and admiring the beautiful views of the endless grounds. She reminded herself that the reds, oranges, and yellows which covered the earth could perhaps last a few days longer before falling to the ground and leaving the tree's bare. Jane pulled her knees up to her chest as she watched so intently the world around her. She saw no servants, nor did she see any movement of any kind. All was quite still.
Lately Jane had been feeling so utterly at peace. It was such a new and wonderful feeling for her. She had been happy, she had felt blessed, she had felt profoundly loved, and yet the feeling of peace was so different. It had been a habit of Jane's to not allow herself to ever become too comfortable in one place- to ever allow herself to believe a good thing should last. It would have been too painful for her to part from such things. But the life she found herself in now was one that belonged to her. She could not be thrown from this house as she had been thrown from her aunts, she could not be torn from here as she thought she would be torn from Thornfield. There was no danger in putting her guard down at last.
A door opened at the end of the hall that pulled her attention from her thoughts.
"Jane, Jane are you in here?"
"I am here" she called.
She thought her husband looked very handsome striding down the long passage. He wore all black besides his white cravat and his tailcoat of royal blue.
"I have been searching the house and grounds looking for you" he said, "I should have known you would be up here, admiring the view. Are the gardens changed today from yesterday?"
"They are warning today of the fall coming to an end. The world is not so warm, and the colors on the tree are so brilliantly vibrant that it means they can only last so much longer".
He nodded, staring out towards a view that was as vivid and illuminated to him as a night without stars. Up close, Jane could see that Edward's gaze was serious and determined- as fixed as the thoughts which hovered in the forefront of thought. Jane knew that if she waited until he willingly told her what was troubling him she would be waiting a very long time and so she reached forward and touched his arm.
"My love, tell me why you look so grave?"
"Jane, I do not know how to tell you what I wish to say" he said, slowly.
He sat beside her.
"It is okay" she encouraged, "I will listen with heart to whatever you say".
He nodded, reaching for her hand and massaging it reassuringly before he continued.
"Jane, do you wear a blue dress today?"
To Jane's surprise, she found that she was. It was a particularly light blue dress that she did not often wear.
"Yes"
"And do you wear something around your neck which is gold?"
"Yes"
He paused, looking weary and heart-heavy.
"At first I did not think that my sight was returning. Indeed, I called myself a fool for willing myself to believe this was the case. But the more I have denied it to myself the more vividly it has come to me as a reality. Small blurs of indistinct color may be all I can ever see, but it is more than I have seen before".
"Why did you not tell me?" Jane asked.
"I did not want to raise your own hopes, nor mine'
"There is no fear in raising your hopes, or mine, Edward. I would not look at you differently as a husband if you had sight, just as I do not look at you differently because you do not."
"Jane, how can you say that?" he asked, looking to her. "How can you say it would not matter? You have served me for so long as I am, you must-"
Jane silenced him with a kiss. Initially he was surprised, but soon it relaxed him in body and mind. His hand which was entwined in hers gave a slight squeeze before she kissed his cheek.
"I love you, more then I can tell you. And so it does not matter. Do you understand?"
He nodded, shaking his head.
"You dominate me, woman. I cannot refuse you"
"Indeed" she said, bringing his hand to her mouth.
"There are men in London who deal specifically with this type of sight loss. Perhaps there is someone there who can help, who knows much more than you or I".
"No Jane, it is too much fuss. To go all the way to London, when we do not even know if he will be able to help-"
"If, is the key idea. What if he can Edward, what if he can restore your sight?"
"And what if he cannot?"
"We will be as happy as we are now. It is worth it to go if there is possibility".
He looked to her, piercing her with his strong gaze.
"You have never been to London?"
"Never"
"And you will be by my side?"
"At every moment"
"Then Ms Jane, to London we shall go. If it means there is a possibility of me seeing you again, I would walk to the ends of the earth".
