When they arrived at their bedroom the young footman was leaving, having just dropped off the trunks.
"Thank you, so much" Jane said, catching his as he abruptly left. He looked surprised as he spun awkwardly on the spot in order to face her once again. "We very much appreciate it".
"It is m'job, miss" he said, not unkindly. And with that, he was off around the corner and out of sight.
When Jane turned back to her husband he was standing looking at her smiling and shaking his head, his weight shifted easily to one hip. She tried to ignore him at first, but he did not change his amused pose as she made her way about the room, beginning to put things away. And so she turned on his roundly, trying to hide a grin.
"What is it?"
"You are so pretty"
"Stop it, I have told you before of the effects of flattery"
"I am quite serious"
"Then I suppose I should thank you-", a pause of apprehension, "-but I will not".
He chuckled and walked over to her, blocking her hands from searching through the trunk for things to put away.
"Come now, we do not need to rush in putting this away", he took her hands in his and guided her away from the trunk, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking up at her. "Lie down with me for a little while, for a rest".
"You tempt me" she said as he dropped her hands and pulled her close by her waist, burying his face in her stomach and kissing it softly. She moved his head back, running her fingers through his hair so that he was looking directly up at her, "- but I must not".
"Just for a little while, please. You look so tired"
"Exactly, I will fall asleep"
"Then I will wake you when the time comes".
Jane, having run out of arguments, climbed onto the bed beside him and lay on her stomach, closing her eyes and sighing deeply. He smiled, leaning over her and kissing her hip lightly. She tugged gently on his arm so that he knew to lay down with her too and within seconds was wrapped warmly in his arms, her back pressed into him comfortably.
"Now" he said lowly in her ear "that did not need to be the fuss that it was"
Jane grinned and looked out the opened window. Snow was now falling outside, large flakes which fell slowly to the earth. Jane beamed watching them, how beautiful- the first real snow of the year. Jane had always hated snow. At Lowood, it had been a signifier for less food to go around, colder hallways and entrapment within the school for many months on end. Even arriving at Thornfield the first winter she was there, it had seemed very cold and isolating there, which the snow added to dramatically. Without money for winter boots, or a cloak it had been impossible to leave the house. And yet Mr Rochesters arrival had seemed to soften that blow- not just soften, but transfix her completely away from her problems. But here, in this moment, Jane thought it would have been immensely unfair to dislike the snow for any reason. For the first time in her life, it could be an enjoyment, and not a barrier.
"How do you feel about snow?" Jane asked quietly.
He chuckled masculinely in her ear and paused thoughtfully. "It is beautiful to look out at when the world is covered in it, when it is low enough to ride a horse in, it is a softer ride and thus a better ride. I suppose it gives meaning to the summer, spring and fall. Without snows cool influence we would not know the keen pleasure of the warmth of summer, the flowers in the spring, or the fires of autumn".
Jane rolled over to face him, smiling warmly.
"That is quite the poetic answer" she said
"What can I say? I am the most romantic person I know".
Jane relayed to him her own experience of snow. As she told him he looked slightly sunken, and dejected.
"At times I forget your childhood, Jane. How it is a miracle you are here with me at all. To fear not having enough food, or risking a cold daily from no heat-"
"What do you think would have happened if I had perished without miracle's intervention at Lowood school? What would have become of Edward Fairfax Rochester?"
The answer was quick, and ready. "I would have continued my worldly travels, for a little while, and become increasingly more dissatisfied with them. Eventually I would have resolved to settle as an premature old man, and yet it would not have been at Thornfield, for too much of my soul was haunted there. And it would not have been Ferndean- there I am not sure what I would have done. I think I should have died a very old, and very unhappy man with so little love left for the world and the things within it".
"Your answer was ready for my question"
"Because not so very long ago, for a year, I was forced to live my own created reality".
Jane had not noticed her arm was laid over his arm and was rubbing his back, but he closed his eyes at certain moments when she moved a certain way and she could see that he enjoyed his intimate gesture- as he enjoyed all intimate gestures.
"What of you?" he asked, "What would have become of Jane Eyre?"
"Well, what I always expected for her. I only wanted a little money from a regular salary to build a small house where I could be comfortable, and content. I never ventured marriage- for I knew I neither had good looks or any fortune. I know that I would have eventually grown discontent in my sheltered life, but I would stop the thoughts and call them selfish seeing all I had been given, and that would have been the routine for the whole of my life".
"But surely Jane you would have married. Your brightness, your goodness, your loveliness could not be hidden for long. Who is to say you would not have reconnected with your cousins and married Rivers?".
"I can honestly say, I would never have married without deep love at its core. As I say, I wasn't expecting to marry, and so I would not have been disappointed in turning someone down that I did not love. In no life, under any circumstance, would I marry Rivers.".
Jane paused, looking at him and smiling.
"Besides, no man would have allowed my power as you have. No man would have treated me as an equal, or given me the right to my emotions and thoughts. No man would have submitted to my scolding, or tormenting as you have-" he smiled brightly
"I have said it before woman, you have a power over me which I cannot name, which makes me helpless in your presence".
"Good" Jane said, "You need to be dominated'
He grinned boyishly and ran his fingers across her shoulders, "Only by you".
Jane yawned widely and tried to force her eyes opened convincingly. Edward laughed, kissing her forehead.
"Sleep my darling! I promise I will be here to wake you. You are so stubborn to resist sleep".
She smoothed her thumb along his cheek, nodding knowingly.
. . .
Supper that night was a private affair. They ate late, long after the sun had retreated behind the clouds and so their dinner was illuminated by candlelight. At first when they arrived at the house the servants set their place settings at opposite ends of the table, out of custom of most married couples. But it was awkward and uncomfortable, and so after weeks of Jane moving her plate beside her husbands, the servants had finally begun placing them beside each other naturally.
After dinner, Edward left her in order to get a bath- but Jane walked around the house in it's darkness. It was unusually quiet. There was not another sound from any person, any door creaking, not even nature herself. All was eerily still, and Jane felt momentarily she was the only person alive in the world. It was an odd sensation, one that she had not felt in a very long time. But as she moved to the front of the house, looking out of the sitting room's wall of windows up at the stairs in the endless heavens, she knew it was not a bad feeling as it had once been. Here she could feel alone, but knowing that at any time she could walk upstairs, crawl into bed to find her husband laying there, waiting for her arrival to fall asleep, it was impossible to feel alone.
