Jane walked back to the room where she had left the ladies more quietly than she intended to, and so caught the last bit of the conversation they were having without them hearing her approach.
"I know" agreed Diana, "It is extremely touching. They adore each other, more than any other married couple I have ever seen"
"And there is such respect. The way he listens to her when she speaks- it is written all over his face how much he loves her, and cares for her opinion. If only Mr Eshton cared one tenth as much for me. That is not to say he does not love me, just, not like that. No one loves another person quite like they love one another"
"I am glad" Mary joined, "Jane deserves nothing but happiness. And I am convinced that no one else in the world could make her happy"
A small smile crept across Jane's face as she listened. She rounded the corner, and all the ladies looked up at her.
"I'm sorry I took so long, I hope you will forgive my absence"
"We will if you do indeed tell us something wonderful you have read this week" Anne said, "We know that you constantly read, and because it is not so easy for the rest of us, we shall have to live out our reading through you".
Jane laughed, "I will indulge you if I can. What sort of book would you like to hear of?"
"A romance, I need some ideas" Mary said, to the ladies great amusement.
. . .
The afternoon progressed until it was time for dinner, at which time the two groups meet back up. It was nice to have Jane's full group of friends together, and to see how easily the interactions flowed between them. Edward watched Jane as they ate, for she knew he was concerned whether she was eating enough, and felt full enough. Indeed, the past few nights she had been sneaking down into the kitchens to get food after she had gotten into bed. But as the last bits of dessert were being eaten, Jane found that she was tired, and only wanted to retreat to her room for a bit of time alone. It was so easy for her to become tired these days, and as silly as it sounded, a full day of conversation mixed with dinner was enough to tire her out completely.
Soon after dinner the Eshton's left, waving goodbye happily and promising an invitation for the Rochester's and Rivers to come to their house before the girls were to return home after the holidays. This was enough to send Diana and Mary to bed very happy. Diana had found time during the day to tell Mr Rochester of her engagement, to which he congratulated her thoroughly. He assured her that she would need to worry about nothing regarding the wedding- that he would take care of whatever she needed, including the changing of her estate from her families to her husbands. Jane knew now from being involved in the estates money that to pay for a wedding was very inconsequential to her families finances, and that there was money enough to pay for fifty such weddings. But still, to Diana Rivers it was the most wonderful gift in the world.
Jane retreated to her room before her husband, as he was reading over some final assessments in his study before coming to bed. She enjoyed the silence as she undressed and took down her hair. Though she loved company, and especially the company of those she loved, she needed calm and silence to feel balanced again. She picked up her book and moved to her armchair by the fire, but she found she simply could not start reading. She could not focus. Her mind wandered all over the place, until it came back to the same subject.
All she could think about was her husband, and wanting to see him, and be with him.
She laughed at how irrational she felt- wanting him so much. The pregnancy, if that was indeed what she was, was making her feel increased emotions- that she could tell.
Jane stood up, pulling on her robe, and crept downstairs. She knew no one would be up at this time. Diana and Mary had already said their good nights, and John and Leah had long since retreated to their quarters and would not emerge until Edward had gone up to bed. She walked down the steps and walked into her husbands study where he was sitting at the desk, indeed reading over the papers he said he would be reviewing. He looked up, surprised, as the door had opened and then closed again.
"Jane darling, why are you out of bed? Are you alright?"
"Oh yes, I am very well" she said, walking over to him.
When it became clear she intended to sit on his lap, he pushed himself out from the desk slightly and opened his arms to her. She assumed her position, tucking her feet into the corner of the armchair and looking into his dark, serious eyes which were brimming with love and the simple awe that she was his.
"To what do I owe this great honour. It must be indeed an honour if you are out roaming the corridors in your nightgown and robe"
Jane shook her head, "I knew no one would be around, and I was afraid you would take too long coming up to bed"
He chuckled shortly, looking back into his wife's face. "Sweetheart, its been not even twenty minutes since I last saw you. I told you I was only looking over these few-"
But Jane's lips were on his before he could finish the sentence. He threw down the papers he had been holding to wrap his arms around his wife, his hand running through her long hair which fell in large curls around her face. Jane felt her heart beating faster and faster as he kissed her back passionately. As the kiss broke she pressed her forehead to his, closing her eyes and breathing softly.
"Come to bed, please"
His mouth curled into a smile as Jane kissed his lips briefly.
"To do what?" he asked, slyly.
Jane shook her head, looking into his eyes.
"I love you. I do not have words that even come close to describing it, and that is unfair, because I wish you could know".
"You don't think I know?" he asked, his hand cupping her cheek affectionately. "You don't think I know it when you look at me, or when you kiss me, or when I feel your hand on mine?"
"It can't be enough" she promised him, "Not compared to what I feel"
He kissed her cheek, then her temple before pulling back and looking at her.
"Thank you. For everything you are".
She felt him him kiss the top of her head as she curled into him and his warmth.
"I do need to finish this before bed though, but you are welcomed to stay here with me"
"I will be very quiet"
He chuckled softly, shaking his head and picking back up the piece of paper he had been reading.
. . . . . . . . .
The next few days were a blur of busy activity in the Rochester house.
The servants all arrived back at the house the following day, all well rested and seemingly very happy. Arriving either on foot or by coach, they came with their trunks and moved back into the servants corridors. Jane worried that perhaps they would feel lonely and sad coming back to work, but to her happiness she found that the opposite was true. Though some spoke of missing their families, all in all they spoke of being thankful that they got to return to such a kind Jane and Edward greeted their servants they found that quite a few had brought back gifts from their own home as a way of thank you. Boughs of dried lavender, dried herbs, homemade soaps, pies and cakes. Someone even brought Edward some homemade cigars that was based on an old family recipe, which he accepted as kindly as he could given the unpleasant smell coming from them.
Diana and Mary talked constantly of Diana's upcoming wedding. This was a new experience to Jane, for even when she was almost married the first time, she wanted nothing large or grand. In fact, she had reminded herself that the smaller the event, the better. But it was nice to be part of a wedding planning which was bigger than hers was. The excitement alone from the girls was wonderful to be around. Captain Franklin also stopped by frequently in the following days. Though his visits were not long, it was enough for Jane to come around to him. He was indeed very kind, and very good to Diana. He had wealth enough for them, a small but beautiful estate not too far away, and the respectability and reputation of a gentleman.
Adele and Jane spent an increased amount of time together as well. When Jane could see that Adele was becoming upset at the prospect of her school time drawing nearer, she told her that she would not be returning to her old school. Jane watched a thrilled Adele dance around the sitting room, beaming her charming smile. Jane assured her however that she would not be out of school long- only long enough for her to find her a better situation. Still, this increased time at home, along with the reassurance that she did not have to return to a place that made her so unhappy was enough to lift her spirits dramatically.
. . . . . . . . .
The night before the Rivers sisters were to return home, Diana and Mary, Captain Franklin, The Eshtons, Adele, and Jane and Edward had dinner. After finishing eating, however, Adele did not stick around for the conversation, rather she departed swiftly from the table to play with the new doll she had received for Christmas. Captain Franklin, Eshton and Edward all spoke well amongst one another, as the woman did when first brought together. Jane, a little pridefully, noticed that Edward always was in charge of the conversation although not through force or dominance. She suspected that the others simply respected him too much, and his presence alone was enough to keep them in line. Eshton was a little better suited at matching him in this way, but perhaps that was because he had known him for a much longer time. All the same, the Captain seemed thoroughly entertained with them both. But suddenly, Captain Franklin looked down the table and up it before announcing a proposition to the group at large.
"I wonder why it is that not all the men are grouped together and all the women grouped together. We are quite scattered here, and as friends I think we could break the tradition of having a wife sit with her husband. There is no need to bore the ladies here with our gentleman's conversation"
Jane was surprised at the comments brashness, but not at the comment itself. She had seen Captain Franklin struggling to show a sustained interest in Anne Eshton's admittedly long story about how she came into inheriting the house she lived in.
"Franklin" Edward interjected swiftly, "You forget that you are not in the army now. Perhaps you have been away from women's company for too long, and have forgotten their immense value".
Jane grinned to herself. She noticed that Edward referred to him as Franklin, instead of Captain- and she assumed this had something to do with the fact that he was proudly referred to as Captain quite a lot, and Franklin very little.
"Ladies, you must forgive me if you think my comment was meant to say I find your company unappealing. I only thought that you have things you may want to discuss amongst yourselves regarding quite happy events in the future, and I did not want to get in the way".
"And is your wedding something you do not want to hear of, Captain?" Anne asked
"No, of course I do. But I am expecting to show up the morning of at the altar with everything arranged according to how my dear bride wants it".
Diana blushed slightly,
"I want you to help, of course. I do not want to start our marriage making all the decisions alone"
"And rightfully so, Ms Rivers. I have a wife who has utter control over me, and I fear it leaves me at quite a disadvantage" Rochester teased, glancing at Jane.
"Impossible!" Captain Franklin once again chimed in, "Mr Rochester, you are not the kind of man that can be walked over by other men. I should know- I have meet many men who could not say the same of themselves"
"But it is not a man who walks over me, it is a woman"
"And do you agree with this, Ms Rochester?"
"Well, all I can say is that sometimes a man needs to be reminded he can be indeed walked over, and my husband does not seem to mind too much as long as it is me doing the walking".
Eshton laughed heartily with Edward, with the Captain eventually joining in.
"I see we have married similar woman" Eshton joined, slapping the edge of the table with his hand in great amusement.
"You do indeed speak your mind, Ms Rochester!"
"I hope that I speak truthfully"
"I hear that you speak the truth on many things. That perhaps even you are more well read than your husband. Diana tells me that in your free time you hardly are found with another task other than reading"
"Ah, well since I am now a married woman, my free time is greatly reduced. But, even if it were still the case, it would be a falsehood, though one I wish I could take credit for, for it is very flattering"
Jane felt a small squeeze of her hand under the table.
"Jane knows a great deal" Edward explained, "And luckily for us, we enjoy many of the same things while also having many separate interests. It leaves much to be said between us at the end of the day".
"You are very lucky then. Not many could say the same, though I feel that those who sit at this table are the exception" Captain Franklin said, proudly.
Jane watched as Anne shuffled a little uneasily in her seat. She had spoken to Jane and the River sisters only that day about this particular insecurity of hers- that she was not as interested in her husband's work as would be convenient for their marriage. Jane suspected that Mr Eshton was not the sort of man to take a great amount of his time out of his schedule to explain to her the details of his work. Jane did not think him cruel, but simply that he came with the position that most men held- a wife's place was not in her husbands work. It probably never occurred to him that this upset his wife, and although Jane had encouraged her to tell him such, she felt it would not do any good.
Edward learned into Jane slightly as the table resumed happy conversation once again so that their soft words would not be detected by anyone.
"How are you?" he asked, "Have you eaten enough? Are you still hungry?".
Jane smiled, nodding at him and running her fingers over the hand entwined in her lap under the table. "I am very well, thank you".
He nodded, looking at her silently for a few moments. "You look beautiful"
"You look very handsome"
He scowled at her, unimpressed.
"And I thought we were just boasting of your truth telling ways".
"The truth can be subjective, so I am told"
"Ah, so I am not universally handsome then?"
"You better not be"
They grinned at one another as they resurfaced to the tables conversation.
. . . . . . .
After dinner, when all their guests had left or retired to bed, Jane was walking down the corridor to her room when she noticed a light in Adele's room. Opening the door ever so slightly, she looked in upon Adele, who was sitting up in bed, just thinking.
"Adele, are you well? Why are you still awake?"
"I am not awake because I am sad. I am awake because I am very happy".
Jane nodded as she sat lightly next to her on the bed.
"I am sorry if I left you in suspense. I should have told you sooner"
Adele shook her head, "No. I know why you did not tell me before. I am just so happy to not be returning to that school. You know, Mr Rochester came and found me today to apologise for the school he had sent me to. He promised me when he sent me away that he had done his very best to send me to a school you would approve of. Even though at that time, when he sent me away, it made him sad to speak of you"
"Mr Rochester did do his research. Indeed, I had heard of your previous school when I was a governess, and it was believed to be one of the the best schools. I am sorry that it turned out to be not what you expected, or what we wanted for you"
"Of course I do not think Mr Rochester sent me to a bad place on purpose. And at first, it was a good school. But when I was there a long time, things began to change"
Jane hugged Adele, smoothing her hair.
"I promise, you will have a say in where you go to school now"
"And I cannot stay here with you?"
Jane felt her heart sink a little.
"No, Adele. I am afraid that you cannot"
She nodded. "I know, you are married now. Mr Rochester needs you, even though he is no longer blind"
"Married couples always need each other" Jane said, kissing the top of Adele's head as she lay back in bed. "Someday, I hope you shall know what that is like"
"Oh me as well" she agreed, "But not too soon"
"No, not too soon. Goodnight Adele, sleep well"
"Goodnight Jane, I will see you in the morning".
Jane stood up and left the room, glancing back to smile at Adele before she closed the door.
. . . .
"Jane what is it that you are doing?"
"I am looking for something"
"Under the bed?"
"Yes"
"What is it?"
"My hairbrush"
Edward stepped away, glancing around the room
"You had it this morning-"
"I know I had it this morning. That is how I know it is now gone. Thank you for the help"
Jane turned away from him quickly, moving back under the bed and continuing her search before stopping abruptly. She sighed, and pulled herself out from under the bed to find Edward looking at her, slightly amused.
"I'm sorry. I'm frustrated"
"I can see that"
"Don't smile like that at me"
"I'm not doing a thing!"
Jane glowered at him,
"I think it may indeed be under the bed"
"It is not, I have looked there twice now"
"I know, I just like the view" he said, standing and tapping her bum.
Jane shoved his hand away and climbed into bed, pulling the sheets up over herself.
"Ah Jane, do not be like that"
"Like what? I'm just tired"
He looked at her, eyebrows raised.
"Do not touch me, and you won't get slapped"
"I'm sorry. I am allowed to touch you when things are well, and you seemed well a few minutes ago-"
"I am still well. Just tired"
"Alright, alright" her husband agreed, climbing into bed beside her. He lay back, hands behind his head, looking up at the ceiling. Jane sighed in frustration, rolling onto her back to look up at the ceiling too. But then she turned back on her side, and then on her stomach, and then on her other side, unable to get comfortable in any position. Edward moved out of her way as she tossed and turned at first, trying very hard not to laugh. Jane was glad he didn't, for she did not trust what she would have said to him if he did.
"Jane-"
"No!" she said, "No! I am fine!"
He threw his hands up in the air in surrender, "I'm sorry"
"Don't apologise! Just come here, for goodness sake!"
As he moved closer to her, she wasted no time in pulling herself into his chest. She sighed deeply, looking into the dying fire. How idiotic she had been. The anger had flowed from her so fast that she did not have time to reason whether it was valid or not, she had just taken it out on him with a horrible vengence. And now, laying with her head on his chest, embarrassment and regret rushed to her cheeks.
"Edward-"
"Don't"
"But-"
"It does not matter" he soothed, pressing his lips to her forehead. The tenderness of his kiss pained her.
"It does matter to me. You mean everything to me, and I cannot just let anger rise out of no where and put it onto you simply because you are close to me"
"I would take it. I would take all your anger from you without complaint, if I could"
Jane looked at him, and he knew that she did not accept his words as an excuse for her actions.
"Jane darling, your actions just now are so unlike your normal self that it can only be comedic to me"
"But that is just the problem! It is so unlike my normal self- I do not know what is happening. I never lose control like this. It is so embarrassing that-"
"Embarrassing? In front of your husband?".
Before Jane could object again, he sat up so that he was looking her directly in the face.
"Jane. Having the emotion that most of us normal individuals call frustration is not embarrassing, and it is not losing control. I cannot help that your angelic qualities get in the way of seeing that. Now, we shall hear no more about it. You will kiss me goodnight, and you will lay back down on my chest, sleep as soundly as you always do, and that shall be the end of that".
Jane grinned ever so slightly, looking into the face of the man she loved so dearly it was impossible to express. She obeyed his orders, pressing her lips to his sweetly and drawing back to wish him goodnight. She then lay back down on his chest and closed her eyes, feeling perfectly content and at peace. A calm silence fell over the room as Jane breathed slower, and deeper.
"Now that things are well again, you can touch me. In fact, you probably should".
Edward laughed lowly, closing his eyes as he shook his head.
"God, what am I to do with her?"