Hello everyone!
We have a bit of a rollarcoaster in this chapter, haha, but I hope you will like it!
Please let me know what you think, who is in the right, and who is in the wrong.
Hoping you all are happy and well, xoxox.
(p.s. Whoever the guest was who wrote me a few chapters ago saying that they wanted to read while driving on a road trip, thank you so much. That was such a beautiful image, it made me feel so happy!)
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It was almost two years since Jane first meet Blanche, and though her appearance was different, it was no less beautiful. When they had first meet, Blanche had a youthful appearance and a rather mature and worldly attitude. She had dressed and styled herself in the most fashionable clothes of the time, wearing bright colours and arranging her hair with pearls and jewels and feathers. Now, Blanche seemed to dress to stress a different part of her person- the part that was now an extremely wealthy married woman.
She wore a light blue silk dress with two darker blue silk panels on either side of her waist. The middle panel of the top of her dress was the same colour dark blue, and was encrusted with jewels and diamonds which sparkled in the afternoon sun. On her neck she wore a long string of pearls with matching earrings which hung heavily on her ears. It was difficult to see how her hair was fashioned under the wide hat that sat on top of her head, but Jane could see that her youthful curls had vanished to be replaced by an older, more mature hairstyle. Her hat was a bright white, with feathers which stuck off in all directions, and although Jane thought fleetingly of a bird attacking the top of her head, the overall look was still very pleasant, and it was evident that much work went into arranging which outfit she would wear for the day.
Blanche's miserable look was now replaced with a look of clear superiority as Jane and Rochester approached. When the four did meet, they all bowed to one another.
"Mr Rochester, how wonderful it is to see you again" Blanche said, flashing him a fleeting smile.
"And you too miss- well I suppose I do not know you anymore as Ms Ingram" Edward said, glancing to the man standing beside Blanche.
Up close, Lord Marcus was perhaps more sad looking than Jane had previously thought him to be. His face was very puffy, dull and very red. When he coughed, angry blotches appeared all over his round face and his dry mouth let out a terrible rasping sound. His small eyes seemed to be buried amid his face, and he seemed so feeble on his feet that he may collapse at any moment. The small cane which supported his weight was surely not to be trusted. Jane noticed an odd array of different rings on nearly every finger, each decorated with different jewels and decorations. It must have been quite the task to simply raise up his hands with the sheer weight of the jewellery.
They were an extremely odd pair- so much so that one may even have thought Blanche to be a kindly relative, who, in her youth, was eager to assist her uncle in his old age. But this image of a compassionate Blanche seemed even more far-fetched than the apparent union between them. There was not even a whisper of affection between them, and Jane thought for a moment she could see repulsion in Blanche's eyes as she turned towards him.
"Ah yes, I am Lady Marcus now. We were married just last month in London, weren't we dear?"
He did not respond to her, he only beat his chest forcefully as another coughing fit came on. He waved his cane in the air, vague in what such a gesture meant, and all fell back into silence.
"Lady Marcus, of course you have meet my life, Lady Rochester?"
Jane wished to roll her eyes at the sound of the name. She never referred to herself as Lady Rochester, and her husband only did so when he was trying to prove a point. She did not think he had ever referred to himself as Lord Rochester before. Yet, Jane was sure that his desired effect of wanting to impress upon Blanche the equality of his wife to her in status was in vain, for Jane was not born with a title, but Blanche was.
"Congratulations" Jane said, wanting to feel more genuine in the sentiment than she did. "I hope you are very happy"
Blanche looked truly surprised she was spoken to, for she had ignored Jane's presence from the moment they approached. But she nodded, applying the same forced smile to Jane that she had shown to Mr Rochester earlier- which was fleeting, and lazy.
"We are. Exquisitely happy"
The phrase was so obscene that Jane was sure her husband was stiffing a laugh. No one married to Lord Marcus could be exquisitely happy, for he was far too detached and unaware.
"And I trust you are both well?"
Jane did not know why she asked the question, for she must have known she would not receive the answer she so desperately wished to hear. How happy would it make her to hear that Jane was miserable, and that her life was not easy, or pleasant. How content would it make her to know that she had won, and that marrying for the sake of love was indeed a farce. But no such answer came to her.
"Very well, thank you. I cannot imagine a time in my life where I felt better than I do now"
Edward smiled at Jane's words and uttered an agreement wholeheartedly.
"You must find marriage to be the same for you, Blanche?"
Jane knew that Edward threw in this last part in order to see her scramble to come up with a convincing response. She started, smiling and then laughing slightly at the lack of words which came to her. She threw her head back and lowered it again, an old look of stale happiness fixing itself across her face.
"Wonderful is not an appropriate enough word. My situation in life is excessively fitting. Few women could expect to have the luxuries and comforts that I possess. You must have found it shocking to enter into such a life Jane? With your humble background".
For a moment there was an odd tension in the air, and Jane was glad that her husbands anger did not compel him to answer before she could.
"In truth, I did not find it difficult at all" she answered immediately, "I adjusted all within my life to suit me and my natural disposition, and such has left me very content".
"She is a darling" Blanche said dismissively to Rochester, though she did not look away from Jane. If she thought this was indeed intimidating, she would be wrong.
"She" emphasised Rochester, looking at Jane, "is standing right beside you, and need not be spoken about as if she is not here. Jane is not just 'darling', she is marvellous- in every way"
"And soon to be a mother, I see" Blanche said, eyeing up Jane. "Forgive me if I was rude. How far along are you?"
"I am eight months along. I deliver early next month"
"I do hope it goes well. I know a young girl, well, I did know her. She indeed passed tragically during delivery not very long ago. Such a noble way to go as a woman. Well, her mother was quite heartbroken that it drove her to insanity. I believe she is now in 's in London. It just goes to show, does it not?"
"Such is horrible to hear" Jane replied genuinely. Her tone contrasted Blanche's so drastically that it made Blanche sound as if she was practicing poorly memorised lines for an amateur play. "I am indeed sorry. I wish her mother well".
Blanche looked annoyed that Jane's face had not drained of all colour. She was not afraid of giving birth, in spite of knowing that there were many risks and complications in doing so. She had long since decided not to be afraid of something that would come, regardless of how much she worried.
"And how is it that you are here today?" Mr Rochester was asking, "How is it that you know Ms Rivers?"
"Oh goodness. It is not the Ms Rivers I know, it is the Captain. His father was quite the naval hero and was close acquaintances with my father"
"How strange. The Captain said he did not know who you were"
"Strange indeed" Blanche covered quickly, though she did not look phased by Mr Rochester's revealing comment. "So many faces today, my name must simply have been forgotten"
"And were they not a beautiful couple?" Jane asked, this time almost for wickedness. She knew the answer she would receive.
"Well, they are an odd pair, aren't they? Diana is so poor, and from an even more desperate situation than- well, than some. Her dress, my goodness, how old fashioned! No young woman should be married in such a frock. It is insulting. Surely you had enough money, Mr Rochester, to buy her something far more becoming. The union perhaps could have been forgiven further if she at least looked the part".
"I wonder that you have said such to me knowing that Diana is family to me, and a very close friend" Jane spoke, her voice clear and steady. "Whether or not you feel they are a odd pair seems to be irrelevant, seeing as they are so happy, and seeing as the Captain cannot care so for the opinion of a woman he does not even remember the name of"
Blanche looked flabbergasted. She opened her mouth to respond but no words came out. Edward held out his arm to Jane once more and turned to Blanche.
"Excuse me, but I am sure there are those who are looking for us, or will be very soon. Enjoy your afternoon, Lady Marcus, Lord Marcus"
Jane had almost forgotten about Lord Marcus' presence until Edward bid him farewell. He nodded, raising his hand in an odd sort of salute as the Rochester's departed. When they were well out of earshot, Jane turned on her husband.
"How did you know that the Captain does not know who Blanche is?"
"I did not know. It was a guess"
"Edward" Jane reprimanded lowly, "How wicked of you. I only used what you said because I was under the impression you were right "
"Which you can see, I was"
Jane grinned slightly, trying to straighten out her face into disapproval.
"Well, regardless. I find it hard to believe that the Captain would keep her company as a friend in any case. Did you hear what she said of Diana? It is so cruel, it is impossible to imagine anyone saying it. I can only think the cause is that very sad marriage she has found herself in".
"It may be even more sad than you think Jane- here, let us sit here a moment. Ms and Captain Franklin have not arrived yet"
They sat on the edge of a low stone garden wall and relief flushed Jane as she sat. She did not notice how long she had stood on her feet, and the rest from it was very welcomed. The Rochester's were not alone here, but those who stood around were so absorbed in their own conversations that their presence went unnoticed.
"Ms Ingram as you know left Thornfield two years ago believing that my fortune was not half of what she thought, and from that moment on I heard not one word from her. Because I expected such to be the case, I thought nothing of it, and did not think of her again or seek to learn anything of her life. A few months later, while in my prison of Ferndean I had heard that Ms Ingram had taken a fancy to a young man in London of substantial fortune and personal beauty. I was lead to believe, as many were, that she intended to marry him. And suddenly the rumours were no more, and were replaced with the news that the young man was engaged to be married to a very wealthy, and very dazzling young woman who had just been introduced at court months before. I admit, in my own depressed stupor I took pleasure in her pain. It agonised me to think that someone so worthy of true happiness, such as yourself, had it torn away forever because of me, and that a selfish, absurd, vain and shallow person could be rewarded. Then, a short time after, my happiness at her misfortune turned to a sort of regret. The young man she had fallen in love with had broken off his engagement for reasons one can only assume were related to miss Ingram- but by this time she had meet, become engaged to, and married Lord Marcus in a whirlwind. I think it could only have been to spare herself humiliation and loneliness. Well, if we have witnessed anything here, it is that Blanche has paid largely for her selfishness and forfeited all her chance of happiness in life".
The story sat in Jane's mind long after her husbands words had hung and fallen from the air. She suddenly felt sorry for her anger, and for the short way in which they had departed.
"I am sorry I treated her in the way I just did" Jane said, slowly.
Edward looked at her. "I did not tell you such to guilt you, Jane-"
"No, I know. I am sorry because she means nothing to me now, and the way I just acted towards her does not show that. In fact, it shows the opposite. I do not wish to lead her to believe she has any such claim over me".
Jane's husband sent her a knowing look, and he waited until her heightened feelings dissolved before he spoke.
"You cannot turn the switch which stops you from caring Jane. And I know part of you feels strongly towards her because you would not wish her unhappiness on anyone, and you do not like to see any fellow creature suffer"
"No" Jane said firmly, "It is not because of that- or at least not only that. Blanche represents all I fear here, all the judgements that I am not enough, that I do not belong here, that I do not deserve what I have been given".
Jane looked over at Blanche who was now speaking to an elderly woman wearing an old tiara which must have been a family heirloom, and such was surely the topic of conversation between them. Lord Marcus sat behind her a ways back, looking unseeingly at the party before him. There was nothing in her manner which was wanting of compassion, or pity, and yet Jane could not help herself. In spite of her very core wish to hurt and wound wherever she went, Jane knew that Blanche knew no other way, and such was not her fault.
"But you are right" she continued, without looking back at her husband. "I would not wish a life void of love and true connection on anyone. If I did, even with her being the only exception, I would be no better than her in all her pettiness".
Edward looked knowingly at his wife, taking her hand so that no one else could see.
"And?"
"And...even though she is beautiful and elegant and graceful, I shall be content being the large, blundering, plain, pregnant wife"
He raised his eyebrow.
"Not what I was looking for, exactly"
"Hang on" Jane started, accusingly. She was helped to her feet. "What is it that makes you okay with her presence here today? Usually you cannot even stand the mention of her name. Why is it that I sit here and pour my hearts insecurities to you so that I look quite immature and petty and you leave with a clean slate, for perhaps the first time in your life?"
He grinned broadly,
"Because my large, blundering, plain and pregnant wife is far better than any other woman here today".
"Very smart of you to say, sir"
"Mmm"
At that moment, the general gatherings attention was brought to an approaching carriage coming through the gates. The gathered guests moved towards the carriage as it came to a stop and watched the newly married couple emerge, waving and smiling at all their friends and family. The sight of them made Jane smile. Although she was glad her wedding was so quiet, and so small, she could also imagine how wonderful it would have been to share your marriage with people you love, and people who love you in return.
Diana looked at Jane, waving as she beamed the brightest smile she had ever seen.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
The afternoon was a blur of new introductions, quick conversations, and occasionally the sighting of someone Jane was familiar with. She and Edward had become separated, and Jane was secretly a little nervous and upset that she had lost her ally. But, as Eshton predicted, everyone seemed to want to speak with her, and much attention was placed on conversing with the hostess of the afternoon. This was so much the case that she barely had any time to worry. Jane felt like a fraud in his role, however, for so many people had helped her, and so many people continued to work while she simply stood around, making introductions and repeating the same small talk. Sometimes she saw a flash of someone she knew- a fleeting glance from Anne, or Mary as they walked past. Jane envied their freedom, and wished for nothing more than somewhere to sit, and some quiet.
At one point, Jane stood talking to a young woman who was an old family friend of the Franklin's. She was just sixteen, very beautiful, and very eager to share her own accomplishments with Jane.
"This dress I did indeed have to buy for this event. Normally, I have a dressmaker in London that will tailor a gown for me, but seeing as my availability to come was so last minute, I had no choice but to buy it. My lady's maid was up all of the night, tailoring it for me. She is a doll, I don't know what I would do without her".
Jane found herself wishing that the young ladies invitation was lost in the mail, or perhaps that she could not, in the end, make it to the wedding celebration after all. Then, Jane saw Anne moving into the house and felt a vicious surge of envy that she could not do the same.
"- and I see you are pregnant. Congratulations to you and your husband. When is the baby to arrive?"
"Early in June, in just about a month"
"My, how exciting. Do you have any names in mind yet? Any family member who will receive the honour of having your child named after them?"
"Oh" said Jane in surprise. "No, I do not think we have any in mind just yet. Or at least, none that we have firmly decided upon"
"Well, such is best. It is always best to see a child before you name them. The name could be perfectly horrendous, and not suit them at all. Then you would waste a good name on a child that does not deserve it".
Jane nodded, trying to look as if she was taking into account this woman's information with interest. But, seeing as Jane could not remember her name or her connection to the wedding, she was sure to take in this advice in good strides. At that moment she felt someone approaching and then heard her husbands voice, come to her rescue.
"Excuse me, madam. I do hate to interrupt you, but I need my wife urgently. I am afraid the matter cannot wait"
The young girl did not look phased by this news. She nodded, smiling.
"But of course, we shall continue our conversation when she returns"
"Forgive me" Jane said, curtsying to her, before being lead away by her husband.
"My goodness Edward, I have never been so happy to see you before in all of my life. What can I possibly do to make this up to you-"
"Jane, go inside. Now"
"Excuse me"
"Inside. Now. Do not argue with me, just go"
"No" protested Jane, speaking firmly but low. She dropped her hand from her husbands. They were still surrounded by people, and she did not wish to draw attention.
"Jane" he said, anger bubbling up to his features, "Now is not the time to disobey me. Go inside before I drag you inside myself"
His tone was as jarring as being plunged into a frozen lake. This too felt like she was left gasping for air, shock filling her system and water filling her lungs. She was so hurt, so confused that she did not even know what to say. Without another look or word, she marched off towards the house, hoping that no one followed behind her. And no one did. When she reached the doors of the house she stepped inside, pressing her back against a wall and sighing deeply.
"Mr Rochester told you too then?" a voice asked.
Turning, Jane saw Anne standing by the staircase. If Anne had heard the way he spoke to her, she could not understand the sympathetic look on her face.
"Told me what?"
"That Mr Franklin is here. He just arrived"
Jane's heart plummeted.
"He is here? Now?"
"He arrived but a minute ago, as a guest of Lord Marcus, whoever that is. I know the name but I do not know the face"
But Jane had stopped listening. A million concerns flooded her mind. Edwards fury was so intense the last time he saw him, it was sure to be increased ten fold now, for he had the nerve to show up after what he had done and came on Diana's wedding day. Jane was sure if Edward could not find a weapon close at hand he would surely be okay with his fists.
"But Anne- Edward, last time he was here- I do not know what he would do-"
At that moment the door was opened and Diana stepped inside, looking confused and a little ruffled. Jane realised that it was the first time she had been able to speak to her since the wedding had happened.
"Ladies, what is it? The Captain just told me to come in here, and told me not to come out until someone came to get us. The three of us in here, surely we will be missed. We will draw attention being in his house. What has happened?"
"The Captain's brother has arrived" Anne said, grimly.
The door opened again and Mary stepped inside, looking equally confused. She relayed the newest of what she had seen, saying Eshton sent her inside, and Blanche was scanning the crowd, looking for Jane and asking people where she had went.
"That evil woman" Anne said, moving into the sitting room and staring out of the window.
"Anne, come away from the window" Diana called, "We cannot have her watching you, knowing you are hiding inside"
"She can look at me if she wants. I am now allowing her to think she walked all over me, for I am not hiding inside, I am being cautious. What a hateful woman"
"Jane, what is the matter?" Mary asked, eyeing Jane's face.
"It is Edward. I do not trust him. He was so furious with Franklin last time he saw him that I thought he may kill him"
"Mr Eshton too", Anne said, twisting her fingers nervously. "He spoke of it for days after. Goodness, I hope they do not do anything foolish"
"John" Jane called, catching sight of him passing by in the hall as he walked with a tray of drink. "John, I am so sorry to disturb you. It is Mr. Rochester, and Mr Eshton. Mr. Franklin has just arrived at the wedding, and I am worried that Mr Rochester will do something brash"
"Mr Franklin!" John asked, incredulously. "Back at my mistresses house? I will send two boys immediately to search for master, m'lady".
"Thank you John" Jane said, nodding encouragingly, more so to herself than anyone else.
. . . . . . . . . . .
Within twenty or so minutes, Captain Franklin returned to get Jane, Anne, Diana and Mary. The other women were satisfactorily accepting of what had occoured- that Mr Franklin was spotted and sought out, removed and all continued without any notice from the gathered group. The Captain and Diana walked ahead, back into the glittering summer sun and spoke lowly to one another until something he said caused Diana to slip her hand from his, nodding. She walked ahead with her sister, and the Captain hung back to wait for Jane to meet him.
"Once again, Ms Rochester, I find I am apologising to you on behalf of my brothers appearance here"
"Captain, please. I do not blame you for your brothers behaviour or conduct. In fact, I know why he is here, and that gives me someone to be far more angry at, if I chose to be".
Jane thought fleetingly of Blanche, searching the crowd for her desperately.
He shifted on his feet uncomfortably before stopping completely, dropping any sort of formality. Jane appreciated this, for the plainness with which he spoke suited her far better than stiff manners.
"Jane, I must be honest with you. T he news of what happened here with you and my brother spread, no doubt by his own hand. Luckily, the story has so many different variations, all of which paint my disgraceful brother in the light he deserves, that people do not even care of the story anymore for they know its truth is much affected".
In her mind, Jane also thought that perhaps people did not care because the abuse of women in such a way was such a common occurrence, especially within marriage, it was not of interest to people anymore. The only thing that may have been of interest to those hearing the story was Jane's rank and marriage.
"Just please tell me, what did my husband do?"
"He did nothing" Captain Franklin said, plainly. "I was sure he was going to say something, but he did not- despite the fact that he would have been within his right to do so. He would even have been within his right to end the whole wedding party at that moment. But he merely spoke to the carriage driver of where to bring my brother, spoke to Lord and Lady Marcus who then swiftly departed, and returned to mingling among the crowd"
"I see" Jane spoke calmly- her voice not mirroring what she truly felt. "Thank you Captain. I am sorry on your wedding day-"
"No, please do not. Let us not worry of this so that is ruins the day. Let us celebrate"
Jane smiled at him, "Of course, we must. For it is an absolutely wonderful day".
. . . . . .
In truth, however, the rest of the day was ruined for Jane.
The situation of Mr Franklin's arrival, the stuffing of herself, Anne, Diana and Mary into her own home, and above all, the commanding tone of her husband played over and over in her head as she continued to speak with different people at the celebration. She could sense her husband trying to catch her eye many times, but Jane would not give him the satisfaction of a look. He appeared sheepish, and perhaps guilty, though Jane knew him well enough to know that he would not give a simple apology and be done with it. She wished to punish him, wished to delay their contact with one another for as long as possible- wished him to know how much he hurt her.
Feeling frustrated, rather drained from all the talking, and overheated, Jane moved towards a secluded wooded area close to where people were gathered, but far enough away so that the loud laughter was muffled, and seemed far away. Here, under a large tree which provided wonderful shade, there was a bench that Jane and Edward often sat in during the nights. Pushing off these frustratingly fond memories, Jane sat, sighing deeply.
"Hello" called a soft voice.
Jane looked up. She had been too focused on her own thoughts to notice a woman who sat across from her. The woman was not anyone Jane recognised, and was certainly not someone that Jane had been introduced to at the party. The woman had very long blonde hair that was wavy, half pulled back into a stylised ponytail, but the other half fallen out by this point. She smiled, an odd lopsided smile which made one side of her face look far fuller than the other; Even when she did not smile, this impression of a disproportionate face did not go away. Her face was very pale, with a very attractive natural blush to her cheeks, her eyebrows fair, and blonde. The most striking feature were her big blue eyes, which were large- almost too large for her face. Thick lashes that made her eyes look heavy, and sleepy, yet this did not take away from the sheer amount her eyes took up of her face. Her dress too was unusual, white and celestrail, rather young in style for a woman of her age. Her whole appearance gave Jane the impression of a displaced angel from a classical work of art, dropped into reality, and waiting for Jane under this tree.
"Hello" Jane responded, "I'm sorry. I did not see you there before"
"That is alright. You are Ms Rochester, hostess of the party. You must be tired. I would not blame you if you could not see a thing for the rest of the day"
"Jane- my name's Jane. And you are right, frankly, I feel a little overwhelmed"
It was perhaps not proper to release such information, and not to such a newly acquainted person, but the woman stared back at her with a knowing, non-judgemental look that gave Jane the impression she did not think her honesty improper.
"You deserve a break, that is what I am doing under this tree too. The wind is my only friend here, I can hear it occasionally when the breeze blows through the trees"
Her voice was airy, and lofty. It was not high pitched, and it was not low pitched. It was simply musical, and immaterial.
"I'm sorry, I do not know your name"
"I am Rose, Rose Blooming"
Jane smiled,
"Your name is beautiful. How fitting for a Rose"
The woman smiled,
"My family name was Buckingham, but I must admit, my married name suits me far better"
"Ah, you are married"
"Yes, for eight years now"
This surprised Jane. She thought this woman to be her age, or perhaps a little bit older. She did not have time, however, to try and calculate the woman's age for she answered in the form of speaking out loud, rather to herself.
"Imagine, I was married at 15. What a young girl I was then-"
She looked at Jane's stomach,
"I gave birth to my first child at 16 too"
"Did you?"
"Yes, but she died before she had a chance to live"
"I am sorry, truly. What a horrible experience".
The woman smiled again, looking unburdened.
"Thank you, Jane. I have had no children since, but I remain hopeful. That is what matters. If you'll excuse me, I must go find mt husband".
And without another word, without waiting a beat to rise and move, she was gone- vanished from view.
. . . . . .
The afternoon turned into evening, and still Jane thought of Rose Blooming. How strange the encounter was- how odd Ms Blooming was. It may as well not have even happened, she came and went so quickly. She seemed to be so untouched by expectation and custom. What a rare quality in a person.
As afternoon turned into evening, the crowd of people gathered thinned substantially. At one moment there was people, and the next moment, there were none. Jane, Mary, Anne, Mr Eshton, and Mr Rochester stood around the carriage of Diana and the Captain, all wishing to big them farewell. Their honeymoon would not be to the seaside, but the location was a surprise to Diana- who still looked dazzled by the attention shown to her, even as just her friends stood gathered around her.
With a tearful, but happy goodbye, Diana and Mr Eshton loaded themselves into the carriage and set off, towards the sun which was glowing bright in the lowering sun.
Mary turned to Jane as they made their way towards the house, smiling sadly.
"It is so strange. We have been together always- and now we shall be together no more"
Jane nodded, taking her arm reassuringly.
"I know I could tell you that you still are together as sisters, but I know that is not what you mean. I know you mean the intimidation of now living alone, without her"
Mary sighed, "Indeed, I only wish that we both could have been married at the same time- so that no one would have to endure this period of adjustment as I do now".
"But surely, when you return to your normal routine you shall feel better? There shall be more to keep you busy, and your mind will be occupied. You will not feel as you do now- that you do not have a place"
Even if Mary did not believe her words, Jane had much experience dealing with loneliness, and feeling like you did not have a place. She felt it constantly as a governess, never quite accepted among the servants, but never being part of a family either. It had been incredibly lonely at times.
"Yes, I think you are right. For now, my imagination runs wild with worried"
"Then you must get some rest, for everything looks better in the morning. It has been a long day for us all"
"Jane, you have a way of making me feel better- truly better. Not just for an instant, and not just by filling me with words that are untrue".
Jane shrugged, smiling slightly.
"I have experience of feeling alone" she reminded her, "Before I meet you and Diana, I had no one".
"But now we shall always have each other" Mary promised, rubbing her friends arm.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Upstairs, Jane sat in her bedroom, dressing for bed. She had exhausted herself trying to remove her clothes by herself, for she had refused her husbands help. He sat in bed, looking as if he was reading a book, but in truth was watching Jane over the rim of the novel.
Finally, when she was in the nightgown she took her hair down, brushing through it slowly, ignoring her husbands unwavering gaze.
"Will you not talk to me?"
"I did not know you wished to" replied Jane, "You have said nothing before now"
"Do not play with me, Jane. Do not pretend that you do not know me"
Jane wheeled around, looking at her husband. He did not lower the book he pretended was his reason for facing her direction, but he no longer pretended to look at it.
"Edward, the way you acted today makes me feel as I do not know you at all".
He rolled his eyes, throwing the book down beside him.
"Jane, you cannot still be upset over that? That was hours ago, and you know why it was done- for your own safety"
"I know why it was done, yes. But not because of you- not because you told me so, and not because you are my husband who claims his motive was my safety. No. Instead of confiding in me, being honest with me, you threatened me- threatened to drag me inside the house if I did not listen to you. As if I could not look after myself, as if my own feelings do not matter. As if I am some animal that you can command, and order about when you wish to"
Edward rose from the bed as Jane knew he would. He flung back the sheets and was on his feet in an instant- staring at her.
"My only motive is your safety. My only motive is you. i did not tell you because i did not want you to become scared, or frightened"
"You have no idea what I would have felt, because you have no idea what he did to me felt like. I could not even confide to you at the time, for I feared you would do something reckless, something brash. I could not have that stress on me as well, so I buried what I felt- pretended that what I felt would pass. How dare you assume what I would have felt like if you had told me. Your distrust hurts more than anything anyone else could ever do to me".
The silence which fell over the room was deafening.
Without another word, Edward turned on the spot and was gone.