The next morning was a sleepy one in the Rochester household for everyone apart from Jane and Edward, for Henry had cried through the night and into the morning. Jane dressed sleepily, not fully aware of what she was doing through yawns, but it felt good to be able to get up and move about the house rather than being confined to pacing within their bedroom, for they could not wake their guests too pacing the hallway. After Edward had traded Henry with Jane so he too could get dressed, the three went downstairs for a quiet breakfast. It was still very early, but the servants were used to the Rochester's being awake with their son, and so it did not take long for food to be brought to them in the dining room. Henry lay in a mobile pram beside the table as his parents ate, talking contended to one another.
"Do you have anything planned for today?" Edward asked, "Dammit. Do you mind if we switch teas? I put too much milk in mine"
"Of course" she answered, sliding the cup over to him. Recently, this had happened most mornings. Jane suspected it was due to the lack of sleep. She did not mind, she was less fussy about her tea and his surprise at it happening every morning was still funny.
"And no" she continued in answer to his question, "Anne wanted to come over and have afternoon tea with Diana and ask of her honeymoon and her new house, but I am not sure if she will come or not".
"You sound as if you will not mind if she does not" Edward said, glancing at her over the brim of his teacup.
"It is not that. I have not seen Anne for quite some time, it would be very nice to hear the updates on her life. Yesterday I am sure she was somewhat confined in what she could say with the large group present. It is only that Mary is always very uncomfortable around conversations that include husbands and households, which is unfortunately what most women talk about"
"Do you think it insensitive of Diana and Anne?"
"No, I don't. It is not their faults. They are newly married women, it is what they are taught to value and thus talk about. I think in truth it is comforting to them to have a person to confide common purposes in, and lessons you have learned as a new wife".
"And you do not? You talk of 'them' not 'us'"
Jane smiled at him, "I am very lucky. I did not feel as disoriented as they did in becoming a wife. I just felt more complete, like it was a completely natural step".
He leaned across the table and kissed her cheek swiftly before sitting back down and looking at her curiously.
"What is it?" Jane smiled
"I only wonder if it makes you feel isolated when you are with them, not being able to talk about such things in the same way?"
"I do not like talking about my relationship with you to others in any capacity. It is not because I do not trust them, but I think it is private"
"It is more than that though" Edward said, knowingly.
"Well, our marriage is very different from theirs. Perhaps even foreign".
"Do you think that bothers them?"
"Possibly. But I think it far more likely that they find our relationship somewhat amusingly because it is different, but they know and respect my wish to keep things private. It certainly does not cause them to be reserved around me".
"Of course not, who could be reserved around you? I told you a long time ago that you would have to learn in your life people will open to you whether or not you wished it, because you have a sort of reassuring and opened presence without even trying that draws people out. I was not wrong, you see".
"You flatter me" Jane scolded, "Tell me something else- anything else".
"Mmm" Edward said knowingly, aware of his wife's dislike for his flattery, even when it was honest. He lay down his fork. "Eshton and Franklin carry on similarly sometimes in a way that I cannot relate to".
"But that is not like you" Jane said, "Unable to relate to what someone is saying. What do they talk of?"
"Defects in their wives" he said, "I refuse to talk about you with them. They do not need to know what we share together. What you tell me is always in confidence, and none of their concern. Sometimes I feel like saying something warming to them, but then I am reminded their wives are probably doing the same, that it may help to do so when they do not have the kind of trust we have in our relationship".
"Well, you are right in thinking they talk of their husbands. I think that most women are closer to their female friends than their husbands, in truth. I think both Diana and Anne share things with me they would not necessarily share with their husbands, and I do not share things with them that I do share with you".
"I must say, Jane, it is not the worst confession in the world for a husband to hear that his wife confides in him above all others".
Jane looked at him, her face falling.
"What is it?" Edward asked, taking her hand that was stretched across the table. His thumb caressed her hand encouragingly.
"Tell me, am I a very bad person for wishing Mary would leave soon with Diana?"
"No" he replied assuredly, "You only wish it because you know as well as I that staying here offers Diana and Mary a distraction from being fully honest with each other. Your wishes are not malicious, in fact, I know they intend only to help".
"How can I know that? How can I be sure it is not only because I am selfish, that I want to spend my time with you and Henry, and forget this difficult situation all together?"
Edward smiled and kissed her forehead.
"Because such is not in your nature. You delight in helping others, and it is a gift as natural to you as my temper is to me".
Jane looked at him as he brought her hand to his lips.
"Do not worry about Mary. At the risk of sounding too harsh, she must get used to judgement in order to function in society again. Her situation is unique, and there is no one more sympathetic to it than the women she is with at present. She has strength enough for this with you supporting her".
Jane interlocked her fingers with his reassuringly but he shook his head at her thankful look.
"No. I deserve no praise, and nothing is more telling of your feelings than your eyes. I know this to be true because if I could find the strength to wake up every day after hurting and losing you, I know anyone is capable finding it".
At that moment there were footsteps in the hallway and Mary came around the corner, looking surprised to see Jane and her husband in the dining room.
"Oh, hello" she said, "I'm sorry, I did not think anyone would be here this early".
"Not at all, come in" Jane said indicating the seat besides herself.
"Oh, no thank you. At least not right now. I am heading into town"
"Indeed?" Jane asked, "To do what?"
"Well, Father Andrew spoke to me yesterday about giving out charity baskets to the poor today. It seemed like a daunting and difficult task to do alone, so when I offered my assistance he happily accepted. He said he would start early, and it is now eight o'clock so I thought I should begin the walk".
"Surely not" Edward said wiping his mouth with his napkin and standing. "I will take you in the coach. A pregnant women should not travel alone, and the walk may be difficult".
She smiled at him, "Alright then, I shall be ready in a few minutes, I am just going to put my bonnet on".
She exited the room happily, her footsteps far lighter in the hall than they had been a minute before. Edward turned to look at Jane and shook his head, grinning.
"Good God, first all these new friends and their families and now I will potentially have a vicar for a brother in law. What has my life become?"
He bent down to kiss his wife.
"I love you. I will not be gone long".
"Alright" she said slowly, tugging him gently to her, "Tell me again"
He smiled at her, telling her lowly again that he loved her before kissing her lips again.
"And goodbye to you" he said, kissing the top of his sons head sweetly, "Be good for your mother, she is very tired because of you".
And then he was gone.
. . . . . .
True to his word, he was not gone long at all. There was news from John that he had already arrived back just as Diana had arrived downstairs with her husband for breakfast, but he did not appear straight away. Jane sat with Diana and Captain Franklin, even though she had already eaten, rocking Henry in her arms. As they ate and talked, she wondered to herself whether the conversation would be different if she was not there, but it continued in pleasant and happy generalities all the same.
"It is strange that Mary is not down yet" Diana said, "Should I go and check on her".
"She has been down actually" Jane said, grinning, "She is gone with Edward into town"
"To do what?"
"To help Father Andrew pass out charity baskets".
Captain Franklin sighed dramatically, shaking his head.
"I do not know why you look so happy, Jane. Nor you Diana. No good can come from encouraging this match I assure you"
"Why is that?" Diana asked.
"Dearest, look at the situation we are in. As it were, it would be near impossible to find a man who would marry her in the condition she is in, let alone a man in the public eye who is meant to uphold the moral standard for the town. I'm not saying that it is right!" he added quickly, catching Diana's look, "But it is the truth".
Jane hated how much of the truth was in his words.
"Mr Rochester married Jane and she was only a servant to him!"
"Yes, but that was different" he said, looking to Jane, "Rochester had nothing to prove to anyone and nor did Jane. If Father Andrew is to make it here, he has much of his virtue to prove to many people".
"What do you say, Jane?" Diana asked sadly.
Jane rocked Henry a little slower in her arms, for his little eyes were closing and he was falling asleep.
"I do not know. I do not know what he feels. I know he is certainly acting like a man who is interested, but as you say Captain, it is a unique situation and he has much to prove to the people here. My only ray of hope is in understanding him not to be a conventional man. He took Lady Denver here for his first guest, and it was a strange choice for a young man to say the least. Perhaps convention does not matter to him so much and then we would have a right to hope for him and Mary. But at any rate, I think it is a good friendship even if it is to come to nothing more than that. Clearly she feels comfortable with him, and he does not make her feel ashamed. If others see this from their priest, I am sure they would be more willing to adopt his attitude too".
"Agreed" Diana said, nodding her head, "You are too right Jane".
"It would be cruel to lead her on, to give her a false sense of hope. It is far kinder to let this go apparently unnoticed"
"That goes to show my darling how little you know of women" Diana said defiantly. Jane smiled.
"Ah, there you must be right. We must talk of something more universally shared. How is Mr Henry this morning?" the Captain asked, taking a genuine interest in the child in Jane's arms.
"He cried most of last night, I am afraid we got little sleep".
"If you do not mind me asking" the Captain began a little tentatively, "Why did you not get a nanny for him? I know that you did not come from a place where it was a possibility, but now you are in such a position I dare say. It would be sure to make your life far easier".
"To be sure. We discussed such at length when I was first pregnant. As you say, I grew up in a position where it was not possible to have a nanny, but as a servant I saw what having a nanny was like and, personally for me, it would mean too little contact with my child. Other women raise their children on their own, I saw no reason why my wealth should make the situation any different".
"And you do not regret it, on such nights as the previous one?"
Jane smiled, "Perhaps only a very little bit on such nights"
Captain Franklin laughed heartily as Edward stepped back into the room holding his hat under his arm.
"Morning" he said, "I am glad you are up and have eaten. The Eshton's are on their way over. I passed them on the road".
"Oh no, we shall miss them!" Diana said, "And for such an early morning visit, I am sure that they will be expecting to see us".
"I'm sorry dearest, but we said we would visit my aunt today"
"Indeed, but we have not written back to her since our plans took an unexpected detour with Mary. She cannot be expecting us today. I am sure she would not mind postponing a few days longer-".
"I think she would mind, though. Rochester you must give our apologies to them" Franklin said, nodding to him.
"Of course" Mr Rochester said "They will be sorry to miss you, I'm sure. Mr Eshton is coming over to discuss business with me but I believe Anne is just coming for some company. There will be other times for them to come on account of more social business".
Diana still looked slightly dejected as they got quickly into their carriage and began their trip to Captain Franklin's aunt's. Jane thought that he did not want to run into the Eshtons on the road and then be forced to make awkward small talk to account for the absurdly early hour of his visit to his aunts. Jane mulled the thoughts over as she feed Henry upstairs. She did not think there was anything cynical in it, only that he was stuck in his ways, and was anxious to make a good first impression of himself and his wife. If his family were to fully accept Diana, perhaps he was not entirely wrong in what he had expected of them and maintaining their plans.
. . . . .
Jane found Anne to be half-hearted and disinterested over their tea that morning. It was striking, for she was always the exact opposite, with her interest peaked and her attention focused. Jane watched her without listening too carefully to her story, for it lacked enthusiasm at any rate, until she stopped Anne mid sentence, smiling kindly.
"Anne, you are my friend, are you not?"
"Jane, what a strange thing to say" she said, looking confused, "You are the dearest and kindest friend I have ever known"
"Then I think I am entitled to your honesty. Is there anything wrong? You seem not quite yourself today".
Anne sighed, closing her eyes slowly.
"I suspect part of what makes you such an excellent friend if your ability to see past what I try to hide".
She shuffled in her chair, making herself more comfortable. Jane could see her allow herself to relax because there was nothing to hide anymore, and no guard to keep up.
"It is only that I have noticed since me and my husband returned from town that he seems less happy. Not here, not with you all together, but alone with me at home. I am very on edge, consciously watching every action he does to see his response".
"What makes you say such?"
"I know my husband. I know how unhappy he is with nothing to do. It only saddens me that I am not enough to lift his spirits. You told me before Jane that I will always upset myself if I try to make a person out to be more or less than what they are, and that the true way to happiness is to see everyone for who they are- well, I am trying with my husband. I know he is a man of science, and a man of movement and action. He is not happy at home with nothing to stimulate his mind. I only wish, in between him working, I could offer some help to this, but I find I cannot".
"As you say Anne, he is a man of science and work and stimulation, I know to a degree it is why you married him- you admired his mind. Mr Eshton married relatively late in life for a bachelor, in his mid thirties. He has lived a lifetime of only needing to occupying himself, and to keep himself busy. I do not think it is because you are not enough that he does not turn to you for stimulation, I think it more likely that it does not even cross his mind that another human being could provide it for him. You have been married to Mr Eshton only a month more than Edward and I, which in the grand scheme of things is not long at all. Give him time to continue adjusting to his new way of life not as a bachelor, and continue to confide in him, with that you cannot go astray".
"All the advice you have given me so far is right" Anne said, smiling kindly, "So I shall adhere to it again".
Jane only took her hand and held it fast.
"Marriage is hard. Two unique souls living as one is a difficult thing to accomplish. No one tells you it is going to be as difficult as it is".
Anne laughed, "Too right Jane. Too right. Goodness, Mr Eshton can be a handful".
"I will tell you a story of Edward" Jane said grinning, "He is occasionally such too. The other day I was rather frustrated and rather tired. I felt stuffy and confined and just wished to leave the house for a little while. Edward said he would take Henry and I could take a walk into town. I only intended to get flowers, and it was not to be too long-"
"How did you buy them?" Anne asked, looking curious, "The shopkeeper there holds no credit".
Jane felt very confused, there was only one way to buy flowers.
"The usual way" she replied, but Anne still looked puzzled. "I took Edwards coin pouch and used the coin in there".
Anne looked absolutely dumbfounded.
"What is it?" Jane asked insecurely, wishing most desperately to divert Anne's curious eyes.
Her face broke into a wide grin and she sat back, looking amused.
"I have never seen Mr Eshton's coin pouch, nor billfold".
"Oh" Jane said quickly, unsure how to proceed further. She had not thought of it, not ever. Was it odd to have access to a husbands money? But of course it was- of course it was not ordinary. She had never heard of it before, now that she thought of it. She had never seen a woman carrying money, it was always put down in the credit of her husbands name.
"Jane you must receive some curious looks from people when you are shopping"
"I do, in fact..." Jane continued slowly, "I never noticed why. I always carried my own money, and I was never given a second glance for it"
"Of course as a poor governess!" Anne said, "No married woman is ever seen with money"
"Why? It is wrong? Or improper?"
"No!" Anne answered quickly, "...Just never seen".
As she continued to muse happily Jane felt her cheeks burn scarlet.
"Oh dear Jane, do not look so. It is only amusing, not wrong. I should not be surprised, there is nothing conventional about your marriage to your husband, I ought to have learned that by now".
When Jane did not respond, still caught up in her own thoughts, Anne took her arm.
"Have I offended you Jane?"
"Not at all" was her honest response, "I just never think of it as his money or mine. When we married, the money my uncle left me was obviously put into his accounts for safe keeping. I did not keep track of it, for we share everything as man and wife, why would I ever consider it again?"
"Our money is still very separate" Anne said, "Though I have no claim on it and know nothing of it. Mr Eshton guards my estate money but keeps it separate from his own. After marrying me it is his, after all. I would not know what it looked like if he did show it to me".
"What if you need it for something?"
She laughed, "Such as what?"
"Flowers" Jane said joking with her friend, but still she was curious as to the response.
Anne smiled at her, "They are simply brought to the house. I never choose them myself".
. . . . . . . . . . .
"Thank you Edward for making me a spectacle for months without tell me" Jane said, standing before him in his study.
He had just finished putting Henry down for his nap and had retreated to his office where he knew Jane would be waiting for him, out of habit and desire to spend a few minutes alone with him. He looked puzzled at her words,
"Your words require an explanation" he said, sitting before her.
"Edward! You have given me your coin purse to go into town"
"Yes...and?"
"And! That is why I have been the receiver of so many strange looks and glances. No woman has access to her husbands money, they all use their husbands credit if they are to shop at all"
He still looked thoroughly confused.
"Do you wish me to send the servants on errands for you? Is that what you are telling me?"
She shook her head,
"Or you wish to use credit? Why should we do that if we have money?"
"That is just it. 'If we have money'. It is not our money, it is yours. As my husband you have full control over my finances"
He stood, leaning against his desk easily, his hand on his hip.
"Perhaps lawfully...but not in practice, not if you wanted something. You know very well that our finances are shared as our lives are shared. Have you felt like I have been keeping money from you?"
"No! I have not, that is the problem. By giving me money you have made me a spectacle. I can buy whatever I like".
He looked up at the ceiling and then back down at his wife.
"Darling, you have yet to clear my confusion. What is it that you want from me?"
"Simply to know that I am breaking social custom of which I am totally unaware before I do so"
He smiled in understanding, chuckling as he pushed off the desk and sat back down, drawing his wife to him.
"So" he began, "You wish me withhold all money from you so that you may fit into the majority of women in society while simultaneously not doing such because you would never allow for it in our equal and transparent marriage"
"Exactly" Jane said, nodding to him.
"Good god, you are exhausting" he mused, kissing her temple. Jane did not draw back from his embrace, she cuddled into his large warm frame and tucked her feet into the corner of the chair.
"Does this have anything to do with Anne?" he asked suspiciously.
"Yes! She said she has never seen her husbands finances after laughing at me for going to buy flowers with your coin purse"
"Mm" he said, "I know such is generally the case".
"Why did you choose to not do such with me, then?" Jane asked, lifting her head to meet his eyes. "I would have known you were not keeping money from me, even if you did not give me your coin purse or bill fold".
He shrugged, "I never much thought of it. I thought only of insuring you felt that our lives were shared, in all aspects. I feel guilty enough that lawfully you can have no claim on your own money. Especially as you know that much of the money your uncle left you is still somewhere in all of our finances- apart from what ridiculous sum you spent on the carriage rides to reach me as quickly as possible in returning to me after a years separation. It was very bad financing, Ms Rochester".
"I do not think you could call that bad financing, Mr Rochester, given the result".
Jane rested her head once again on his shoulder, thinking. He kissed the top of her head.
"I think people must believe I have you wrapped around my little finger, with access to your money and carriage and attention at any time-"
"They think correctly then" he said, "I have absolutely no power in resisting you".
Jane shifted herself so that she was straddling him in the chair.
"Impossible. Not the way you leave me rendered helpless so often".
"Is that so?" he said, drawing her in for a deep kiss. She felt her core pounding in the instant their lips touched. Her body craved his passionate kiss faster than he could give it, skillfull as he was.
"Mmm" she replied late and thoughtlessly, not able to muster much more of a response.
"Come" he said, pulling her up and taking her by the hand, "There is not a moment to be wasted".
Off to their bedroom he went, his fingers interlocked with hers.