As the door was closed behind them, Jane was instantly pressed against it, her mouth furiously covered by her husbands. He lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Her hands became quickly tangled in his mess of dark curls as he reached his hand up her skirt. Jane was light and her husband strong, so he was able to balance her weight around him with only one arm while the other searched her intentionally, passionately, and skilfully. He grazed her womanhood so that she gasped slightly into the kiss and then began tracing her with more intention- with more pressure and with more need. Jane could no longer kiss him, she needed her mouth for the sharp inhales of breath necessary to steady her racing heart. She tried to push the hair out of her face that had fallen from its bun, but it was pointless and she gave up the effort. She felt her husbands fingers move inside her and she groaned in his ear, grasping her hands around his neck for support. She felt his smile on her skin and then his lips brush her neck. It was part of the little he could reach of her that was not obstructed by clothing. Then another finger entered her and she moaned even louder before her breath caught characteristically in her throat. She felt the tightness in her stomach expand and move to her womanhood, causing her to buck her hips involuntary into his hand so that his fingers were pushed deeper inside of her.
He withdrew his fingers, taking to kissing her instead, lowering her away from the door. She felt lightheaded when placed on the ground, but was soon lying with her back on her bed, looking up at her husband.
"Here my darling" he said softly, turning her over so that he could undo the back of her dress. She lay on her stomach, chin resting on her hands, perfectly at ease as he worked. When she felt the dress was completely loosened she was turned over again and the dress was peeled easily away, leaving her naked before him. He stopped to look at her, and even now the sight of him doing so made her blush. He often commented that seeing her wearing only a blush on her cheek and his ring on her hand was the best sight in the world, but she did not continue to blush deeply for that reason- only because she knew herself to be no natural beauty, yet she had found someone who truly thought of her as such.
She reached her hand up, and as if he instinctively knew what she wanted, he bent his face to hers so she could touch his cheek. He turned his lips to the hand cupping his cheek and bent down to kiss her lips long and slowly. She tugged at the waistband on his pants before he quickly shed them and mounted himself before her, driving himself deeply into her. She gasped heavily, pressing her hand to her husbands chest. He groaned, taking hold on her arm and steadying it.
There were three deafening raps on the door.
"ROCHESTER, ARE YOU IN THERE?"
Jane almost jumped out of her skin at the sound. Edward's hands were instantly on her mouth, silencing her. He threw a nearby blanket over her instinctively to cover her, even though there was no chance of Captain Franklin stepping into the room
'ROCHESTER?"
"YES" he called back, not able to hide his anger very convincingly. Jane breathed heavily beneath him while remaining as quiet as humanly possible, trying to catch her breath. She did not remove her hand from his chest as he pulled out of her.
"I'm sorry" Edward mouthed at Jane, kissing the arm that pressed a hand to him. She caressed his cheek with her thumb.
"ROCHESTER YOU MUST COME DOWNSTAIRS INSTANTLY. LADY DENVER IS HERE WITH AN EMERGENCY BUT SHE WILL ONLY TALK WITH YOU ABOUT IT".
"Dammit" Edward grumbled, his face red with fury.
"TELL HER I WILL BE DOWN IN A MOMENT FRANKLIN. I NEEDED TO CHANGE MY CLOTHES, HENRY HAD AN ACCIDENT"
Jane looked up at him sceptically, grinning.
"She is angry man, hurry!"
Edward pushed away from the bed, "I'M COMING, I'M COMING" he called, picking up his discarded clothing on the floor. Captain Franklin's footsteps could be heard marching back down the hall.
Jane watched Edward from the bed, her arm thrown easily over her head.
As Edward finished dressing again he walked back to Jane,
"Do not move. Do not move from this bed"
"I must" Jane contested, "I have to go downstairs and see what all the commotion is"
"No, no" he said pushing her back onto the bed, "Stay here, I want to imagine you laying here, just like this"
"You will imagine no such thing when dealing with Lady Denver, get downstairs"
"Stay here".
"Go".
He looked at her, his face crooked into a disapproving smile before he bent down to kiss her one last time.
"ROCHESTER" Franklin called distantly, moving quickly back up the hallway.
"DAMMIT I'M COMING" he called, "Jane cover up while I open the door, for the love of God".
He stormed from the room, shutting the door quickly behind him. Jane laughed to herself, throwing her glowing pink face against the pillow.
. . . . . .
When Jane descended some fifteen minutes later dressed with her hair fixed (for her face and chest were far too pink to not betray her situation) she found her husband and Captain Franklin in the hallway with a flustered and agitated Lady Denver. The Captain looked frustrated, but Mr Rochester looked composed and calm in the face of her wrath.
"That is not an option" she was saying definitely, "The nearest place is miles off, it will take days to construct it"
"Lady Denver, there is nothing more we can do" Edward said firmly, "All I can do is offer you my carriage today and send a servant for the wheel replacement tomorrow"
"I do have servants, Mr Rochester, capable of the task themselves"
"Not with the knowledge of the fastest routes, I'm afraid. But if you choose to refuse my help and wish the trip to take far longer, of course you can send your own servants. It makes no difference to me".
Lady Denver caught sight of Jane on the steps and sighed,
"And here is Ms Rochester at last, come to see about my situation"
"With all due respect Lady Denver, I do have an infant child to attend to. I am sure you were capable in these gentleman's hands".
This of course was a lie, but Lady Denver certainly did not need to be enlightened on the situation. Jane thought she caught a flicker in her husbands eye before he turned away from her and back towards Lady Denver.
"What is it you would have us do?" Franklin mused, looking less than willing to oblige in her request.
"Tea!" Diana called coming out of the sitting room, "Lady Denver, Leah has just brought a tray in for us. Perhaps you would like to join me and Ms Rochester while this matter is sorted out".
Lady Denver's searching eye fell on Diana and stared at her,
"My goodness, what poor timing you have. How is this situation to be solved if I am not there to see to it?"
"Well, it appears since you have come to our house for help, Lady Denver, you could not sort out the problem on your own" Jane said, eyeing her with equal confidence. She felt Franklin's, Diana's and her husbands eyes on her.
"Because I am an old woman, not because I am incapable" she barked, as if Jane had accused her of being such.
"If such is true then you deserve for the gentlemen to attend to it. Join us for tea, I am sure you have shared all you can with Mr Rochester and Captain Franklin. They will sort it out between them".
But she would have absolutely no part of it. She wished to stay and command Mr Rochester and Captain Franklin, managing all of what they did to try and assist her. Jane finally learned over obtaining small bits of information that her carriage had lost a wheel and that it had cracked in the effort to retrieve the carriage from the mud. She was quite frantic about the situation, so much so that Jane sent one of their younger servants on horseback to send a message to her butler explaining what had happened. Sure enough, half an hour later a different carriage of hers came down the drive.
"That will be George" she said firmly, clacking her walking stick onto the ground. "I knew he would come. I knew he would find me out and fix this mess".
Jane was not sure how she thought he would appear without her sending notice but that did not matter, soon she would be on her way. Captain Franklin looked enraged that she had not acknowledged his and Mr Rochester's efforts to try and fix her "mess".
Mr Rochester, as head of the house, walked her out to her carriage. The afternoon was at its very latest, the sun its warmest and brightest before in a few short minutes it would surely start its descent. The greenery of the garden and drive warmed Jane's heart, and she momentarily forgot all that was happening around her. She could not help but be moved by its beauty.
Lady Denver walked over to her butler, telling an animated story of what had happened, and pointing occasionally to Mr Rochester and Captain Franklin.
"He was helpful at least" she said indicating Edward without looking at him, "If he possessed no powers in calming my exhilarated nerves, he at least made me feel as if all could be righted. The other gentlemen was of no help at all, did not seem to understand the horrible place I found myself in at all".
Jane was not sure that she really meant to be all that discrete, but Captain Franklin turned on his heels without another word and strode back into the house. Diana looked at him, considering, and then followed placed his hand on Jane's shoulder, waiting for Lady Denver to get into the carriage and drive away, but she did not. She closed the door of the carriage and walked back up the houses steps.
"Where is the tea?" she said matter-of-factly, both hands resting on top of her cane. Jane and Edward were both dumbfounded, unable to speak momentarily. "I am guessing it is indoors, perhaps in the sitting room" she mused, sweeping inside.
Jane looked to her husband, and he looked to her.
"Unbelievable" he muttered, "Jane I cannot sit through tea with her".
He said it with much animated pain that Jane believed him.
"I know" she assured, "I shall take it on. You've already done much in dealing with her. Hopefully it is short".
"I thought you had solved the problem when you sent for her carriage, I cannot bare thinking of you sitting in tea with her. We can say something, make up something so that she leaves".
Jane shook her head, "I intend to draw her out. No human is that contrary for no reason. If it is not to be enjoyable for me I shall at least make it a case study of character. I am sure I will have much to analyse".
He kissed her cheek quickly, "You are an angel Jane, you have just proven it. I shall never hear you denounce it again".
"We will see if such can still be said when we are through".
. . . . .
As Jane suspected, it was only herself and Lady Denver who attended tea. She sat still clutching her walking stick, her hands set firmly on top of it. Her presence was still intimidating and commanding, even in a private and informal setting such as this. It was as if she never let her austere and rock solid guard down. As Jane served tea, Lady Denver spoke plainly.
"Is it only to be you and I?'
"I believe so, yes."
"Why is it? Is it because of the way I acted over my carriage?"
Jane stopped pouring the tea to look up at her companion.
"Lady Denver, I cannot make out if you wish me to be honest and fair, or polite and my honesty obstructed by custom".
She raised her eyebrow.
"The fact that you know the difference tells me much of you, Ms Rochester"
"You may call me Jane, if you like"
"Jane then. But you may not call me anything else but Lady Denver. I have been such my whole married life, and do not intend on changing it now".
"Very well" was the simple reply.
"So tell me, why is it just us two?"
"You did not answer my question" Jane said, "So I still find myself unable to reply".
Lady Denver pursed her lips,
"At my age, Jane, you will learn that little matters in this world but honesty. No doubt you will come to realise too that you live a life of dishonesty, and when you are old and grey and nearing your end, you crave the opposite".
"Then I shall speak truth. You were unkind to my husband and my cousin's husband in spite of them doing more for you and your situation then most would. You dismissed Diana when she initially offered tea in the hopes of making you comfortable while you waited".
"That was for mere customs sake" she argued dismissively.
"You are wrong again, and are too cynical of the people here. She offered to help, not for any other reason".
"Be that as it may. I was not unkind to either your husband or Mr Franklin. I said your husband was of use to me, and I spoke plainly that Mr Franklin did little to help me which is all the truth".
"Do you not think it is the gesture that matters when trying to help someone, not necessarily the outcome?".
"No" she said abruptly, "When someone is in need of assistance it is your job to help, not to try and help. Why do you look at me in such a way?"
"We are at odds in our beliefs, that is all"
"And you do not try to dissuade me from them?"
"Why should I do that?" Jane asked, "You have a right to your beliefs, and it would be wrong of me to try and change them".
Lady Denver looked surprised, but rallied herself quickly.
"Does your husband reprimand such honesty in you? Or does he allow it? No man can be that forgiving of his wife expressing herself so openly, surely"
"He 'allows' me nothing, if you will excuse me. To allow me to do something would be to control me in some way, and he does not wish to control me. But yes, he does ask honesty of me as I ask it of him".
"Your present sentiments of equality are warming to be sure, but unrealistic for the long term. A marriage needs a certain amount of deception, Jane. It needs detachment at times between the two individuals. One cannot live forever with a person completely honestly- all decency and goodness would surely crumble. But I can see you will contest me again"
Jane played with her hands, "It simply has not been my experience".
"I hope such remains to be true then, for yours is the first account I have heard that contests my claims"
Although she was blunt, Jane sensed truth in her sentiment. Had she really 'hoped' something, rather than discounted or disregarded it. Jane was not quick to fill the silence between them, for she felt that there was much in the conscious of Lady Denver that would come out if she was left to speak her mind, and Jane was curious as to what she thought.
"When I married my husband-" she said, for the first time not able to look Jane plainly in the face, "we were as much in love as any old love story in any old book. I was told growing up to throw away my notions of love, for they would never hold in the real world, and I did. I did not expect love in my marriage, for my family was excessively wealthy, and the chances of me marrying for love within our circle of wealthy acquaintances because painfully evident to me. When I was sixteen, and just preparing to be brought to London for my first season in court, a man moved into town. He was very young, only one and twenty, but his family had died in some fire he had been absent from, and so he had much free time to himself with little obligation. I do not know why he came to London, but he did, and I meet him one day at a party. We were married a month later".
She stopped her story, not looking for any sort of response from Jane. It was more for the sake of gathering her own thoughts.
"I was sure our marriage would be different from all others I had seen, but very quickly I realised that love stories are just that- stories. Those loves survive because they do not dwell inside reality, and what reality demands".
"So what happened?" Jane asked, "What became of your love story?"
"It faded" she responded, looking far away from the place she sat. "By the end of the first year of marriage we hardly ever spoke to each other. Between his work, and my duties as wife, we never saw each other. There were sometimes days that stretched into weeks where we would not talk".
She turned her head,
"You look at me curiously, Ms Rochester. I will guess at your question. You will ask me what changed between us, and I would reply nothing. Nothing changed. Nothing very dramatic happened. It did not happen overnight, rather every action seemed to push us naturally further and further apart. Our fairy tale love fell to the wayside in exchange for comfort and stability, and I learned to be very content with that".
Jane nodded to her, but she did not speak.
"Have I rendered you speechless?" Lady Denver asked, the usual bluntness returning to her voice in full power, "If so, you are not so acute as I thought".
"No, not at all. But I am not sure if it is my place to voice any sort of opinion. What you tell me is your truth, and since I did not know your husband at all, and I know you very little, it would be wrong of me to interject".
"I would like you to" she said, clicking her walking stick on the ground impatiently, "I did not tell you to have you gawk at me. Say anything of it, I would love to hear your opinion".
Jane considered before answering, for some people ask for the exact things they do not necessarily want to hear, but after weighing the likelihood, Jane felt that Lady Denver valued genuineness over falsity of any kind.
"I have a question more than an opinion" Jane prefaced, "Why did you not fight for your marriage? Why did you allow things to settle as they did without trying to change them?"
"Ms Rochester" Lady Denver began, not phased by the question, "Has your husband ever done something you did not like?"
"Of course" Jane replied,
"How often?"
"Often enough"
"And do you feel compelled to correct him every time?"
"No" Jane stated
"And why is that?"
"Because, it should become a matter of nagging, I am sure. And I do not wish to do that to him"
"Exactly" she responded point idly. "My husband began to do things that upset me, but I knew full well that making him aware of them each time they happened would be a fatal mistake. If love was to fade, which it inevitably does to perhaps varying degrees, but still to everyone- I wanted it to be considerate and at least comfortable between us".
Jane nodded, "That makes very good sense"
"Yes, I thought so. Do you believe me now?"
"I believed you all along"
She pursed her lips again, looking frightful.
"Your answers are infuriating. They are neutral, and unimposing. I believe a conversation is meant to pass between two people, not come from one person and remarked upon by the other".
"And yet, I sense from you that you like to talk, that it has been a long time since you have been able to do so. I am not a natural conversationalist, Lady Denver. Often I find myself far happier to sit and listen than to talk of myself. My neutrality, as you call it, comes from me wishing to hear you as plainly and honestly as possible".
She stood quickly, looking straight ahead without addressing Jane. She was positive that she had offended her- overstepped a line of honesty she had no right to cross. She felt a pit in her stomach and rose from the couch in over to correct her mistake. But before she could speak, Lady Denver looked at her.
"You look guilty, like you feel you should apologise. Do no such thing. Would you come to my house one day next week for tea? I shall return this favour, and hope to hear more of yourself. If you are naturally shy of conversation as you say, I would suggest thinking of some things to say. I intend to hear you talk more".
"I should be very happy to, thank you".
"Until then" she confirmed, taking leave of Jane swiftly.
. . . . .
Dinner was spent at large discussing the events of the afternoon. Captain Franklin was still quite angry over the way Lady Denver had treated him, and he and Diana were both quick to dismiss her behaviour as simply rude. They praised Jane for being so good as to have tea with her so they did not have to, making her feel guilty.
She loved her cousin and the Captain very much, but she always thought they shared the quality of being too quick to judge other people, and once an impression was formed upon them, it was very difficult to change it. She was not sure it was the right time to try and discuss the complexity of her character when they were both still upset, so she did not directly contest them.
The other half of the table, Mary and Edward, discussed Mary's afternoon with Father Andrew handing out the poverty baskets. She had returned home happy and refreshed, a wonderful result in opposition to what Jane was concerned would happen. Going around with Father Andrew to the upper classes would have subjected her to far harsher critiques and judgements, but Jane knew that the poor had little need or wish to judge her, so she had returned feeling better than when she left in the morning. Edward listened to her generously and with much patience, for her talked constantly without giving him room to interject and did not stop until all retreated for bed some time later.
Up in their bedroom, after putting Henry to sleep, Jane and Mr Rochester sat by the fire, discussing their days in more detail than at the dinner table. Jane told him of her tea with Lady Denver, and how she had been invited for tea the next week at her house. Edward seemed surprised Jane had accepted the invitation.
"Jane, I hope you do not do this out of pity. You said you sensed she was a lonely woman- I do not wish you to feel compelled to do this out of goodness if it will only make you miserable".
But Jane shook her head, "I cannot describe it, Edward. But I do not think the person she shows to the world is who she is- I just do not see how that can be possible. I think she is full of life and experience and has no one to share it with. How lonely such a thing must be. You of all people should be able to relate to that".
"I can" he said, rising to change for bed, "And I also know what a gift your presence is. I am starting to become quite jealous of anyone who receives your attention. Between Henry, our house guests, and those who simply come over with charity baskets and broken carriage wheels, my time with you is drastically reduced".
He turned to smile at her in a good-natured way, but Jane did not find his words amusing. Being already changed, she got into bed and covered herself up in the blankets without replying to him. Edward's face fell as he watched, and he paused his task to study her. He sighed, pulled his nightshirt over his head, and climbed from the bottom of the bed up to where Jane was.
"Hey" he said softly, touching her face with such tenderness that it made her heart swell painfully. Jane felt her eyes burn, and suddenly they were brimming with unexpected tears.
"What is it, my love?"
Jane grabbed the arm of the hand that was wiping away her tears. She knelt up and wrapped her arms around her husbands neck, holding him close to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her shoulder.
"I do not want to stop being enough for you" she said, softly.
Edward drew back, looking searchingly into her face.
"Not be enough for me? You not be enough? Jane, how could you think that?"
"I do not think it, it is just all around me. I see unhappy couples, and people insist on telling me I will eventually become unhappy and complaisant in my marriage too. I know that I never will because I love you far too dearly and with too much of my soul for that to ever be the case, but when you just said that I have drastically reduced our time together, it made me fear the one thing that I think about all of the time. You give me everything, and I never want you to feel like I am not enough for you".
"Not enough" he repeated softly, "Jane Rochester, you are everything to me. You have given me everything- a son, a family, a home. How could you not be enough when you are the very air that I breathe?"
He ran his finger and thumb along her jaw before drawing her lips to his. He guided her back gently onto the pillows, kissing her deeply. She moaned into him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He drew back and looked down at her, playing with a curl that lay across her forehead. She ran her hand down his strong, muscular arm that supported his weight above her.
"I'm sorry" she apologised softly, shaking her head "I am-"
But he only silenced her with a kiss as his hands worked to slowly remove her nightgown. The night was a freezing one, and so he moved instantly to wrap a blanket around her as his warm mouth closed around her breast. She gasped slightly, gripping his hair in her hand as he sucked her nipple in radiating waves of different pleasure. She gripped the blanket in her fist and gasped into the air as he moved to her other breast.
Jane reached down and tugged on the edge of Edward's nightshirt, indicating that she would help him remove it, but in an instant he had it off over his head and thrown on the floor beside them, returning intently to his task.
Jane felt her racing heart beat out of her chest as he drew his mouth away from her, leaving the building pressure in her stomach to pulse painfully- reminding her she was not finished with him. But he was not finished with her. He kissed all the way down her stomach until he reached the place she most craved him. He knelt before her, separating her legs gently, and in an instant had his mouth on her. He ran his tongue through her, teasingly. His skilful mouth knew exactly what to do, but his teasing mind and radiating heart wished to prolong her. Every time he would come close to her sensitive core that burned for him like fire, he pulled back, kissed the inside of her leg, and returned to his agonising routine. Jane put her arm up to her mouth, trying to centre her breathing and her dizzying mind from collapsing on her too soon. Edward drew his face back to look at his wife. Her chest was a bright red, her hair stuck to her forehead, her breathing was heavy and laboured, and her stomach rose and fell with sharp breaths. He smiled at her before closing his mouth around the spot that had craved him from the moment he touched her.
"Agh" Jane cried, quickly covering her mouth. Edward, who always listened keenly for her, reached up and took her hands away from her face. The pause in his act made Jane protest- she tipped her head back and felt her racing heart beating against her ribs, breathing heavily.
"Edward" she breathed
"Hm?" he asked, kissing her lips briefly, "What do you want, love?"
Jane moved beneath him so that he was positioned before her, but he shook his head smiling.
"No, not yet"
He reached down and replaced the work of his mouth with his hand. Jane felt her chest rise and fall rapidly as his fingers searched her, stroking the spot which drove her to absolute oblivion in seconds. She curled up into him, wrapping one arm around his shoulder to pull him closer. He kissed her cheek, then her jaw. The feel of his lips melted her like wax.
"Stop fighting it" he said softly, "I want to watch you".
With two more motions of his hand and a kiss on the forehead, Jane felt an immense rush of pleasure cover her whole body in its warmth. This lovemaking was low and slow, but the lightening that ran through her veins was overwhelming. She fell back onto the bed, one leg wrapped around her husbands waist so that she felt him near but she was not in command, or aware of where her other limbs lay.
"There's my Jane" he said, stilling her breathing with a deep kiss.
He ran his finger across her burning cheek and brushed her hair out of her face. Jane felt simultaneously heavy as lead and light as air.
She closed her eyes, taking her husbands hand in hers and brushing her lips across it lightly.
"I love you, so much" she said, laying his hand on her heart.
"I love you" he said, caressing her with his thumb, "I love you so much".
He knelt before her, and she spread her legs instinctively for him. He kissed her stomach and in between her breasts reassuringly before pushing himself deeply inside of her.
He groaned deeply and Jane felt a smile spread across her face. Hearing him in such a vulnerable and raw way moved her heart in a way words could not pronounce. She rocked with him, the pace quickening and deepening with every thrust. She threw her head back, unable to watch him anymore as she felt the familiar sensation of helplessness pull her away from reality. With one final movement she was completely undone, followed by her husband moments later.