Thank you all for your kind messages.
It was definitely really unfortunate to lose my laptop but it could have been worse for sure. I hope you can forgive me for the long period with no posting, and with the lack of explanation I left you with. I missed writing a lot, so I will have lots of time and motivation to write in the upcoming days! More soon.
I hope you like this chapter! Let me know what you think. I think there is trouble brewing.
Much love, and thank you again
xoxoxox
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The days leading up to the ball were filled with comfortable ease around the household.
The schedule during the days remained the same, with everyone meeting for meals but mostly carrying out their own activities in the day. The group would meet to play cards, or read, or as of recent, take turns caring for Henry and Daniel. It truly felt like a large family to Jane, connected through common thoughts and ideas about the world and similar senses of humour. It was wonderful. She even realised that sometimes people within the group did not agree, but a common care for each other stopped them from fighting, and so disagreements often just dissolved into conversation. It was a completely unique feeling to both Jane and Edward to have a large group of family and friends whom they trusted so well, and it was truly remarkable.
As time passed, Jane also saw the amount of respect that everyone had for her husband. Though he had not asked for it, Edward was the first person people went to when they needed help, or when they needed advice or knowledge. He did not even seem to notice, for his own wisdom was so deeply embedded in him that he could not recognise it when it was present in the form of his words to others. When Jane shared this with him he had adamantly denied it, telling her instead it was she that people went to for guidance, but she knew that there was much truth in what she had told him.
The day before the ball, however, took on quite a different atmosphere.
Starting very early in the morning there were decorators running up and down the hallways with ribbons and flowers and banister decorations for the stairs. Jane had been woken suddenly to the sound of someone calling down the hallway for a ladder, and she had found it rather hard to go back to sleep after that.
Because Diana and Captain Franklin were tied up most of the day with the decorators, cooks, and musicians coming to the ball, it was the perfect opportunity for the Rochester family to spend some private time together. The kitchen staff had generously packed them a picnic to take on a walk. So, shortly before lunch, they set off for a spot at the very end of the Franklin's groomed property that offered some distance from the massive amount of movement within the house.
"Here" Edward said, unrolling the blanket and laying it on the ground so Jane and Henry could sit.
"Thank you" Jane said, lowering herself onto the ground with their son.
She laid Henry on her legs, one of her arms around his middle as she and Edward unloaded the basket. It was the perfect late summer day, with the air warm but the breeze cool. Under the shade of the tree Henry would be free from the sun's direct light, which would also keep him content and happy.
"Do you know if Mary will be attending the ball?" Edward asked his wife as she ate a piece of apple. She turned to him, nodding.
"I think so, yes. At least the last time she spoke of it she was coming, and that was only yesterday".
"Good" he said definitively.
Jane smiled at him, pausing before speaking, "I think your interest in her situation is a great reassurance to her. Thank you".
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I know you have had much to do with Mary feeling far more comfortable lately. I heard you two speaking when we arrived home from dress shopping a few days ago but I did not want to interrupt you by stepping into the room. You give her much comfort, you must realise this".
"I think she relates to my life's tale of woe. I think she sees in me the sort of unfortunate event which can occur and forever change your life. I do not mind if she does. What she went through is far worse than what happened to me, however, because she did not choose this for herself. I was only young and stupid".
Jane smiled a side smile at him and fed him a piece of apple that she was cutting.
He lay down on his back chewing, hands behind his head, looking completely at peace with his surroundings. Finding it too hard to cut with Henry in her arms, Jane laid their son on Edward's stomach. He instantly wrapped his arm securely around Henry without opening his eyes.
"Blanche will be at the ball tomorrow" Jane commented, "Franklin is sure of it"
"Does that bother you?" Edward asked in slight surprise.
"No, not at all. But everyone about me thinks it should".
"And why does that suddenly matter to you?"
"I'm not sure. I just find it strange they are all so disapproving of her. They have not even meet her".
Edward turned his head,
"You are not the only one to have experienced Blanche's less than pleasant side, Jane. Neither Eshton nor Franklin are quick to esteem her either. Besides, she was rather cruel to you, which I am sorry I ever allowed, and your friends are quick to come to your aid against her. Though it is not necessary for them to act the way they are, I am sure that it means a good thing for your friendship".
Jane pondered his words, the last piece of apple hovering close to her lips.
"I suppose. I just think with the situation she is currently in, if it is true, it is hard to not equate her to Mary only a few weeks ago. Though the way her pregnancy came about is different, the consequence will be the same- except she does not have a loving or supportive family to help her. She seems quite alone in the world".
"Sometimes selfish people must bare the burden of their mistakes- I did".
"You were not like her".
"Indeed. But I knew better, as did she. I cannot say I am incredibly sad about the affair, for Blanche has caused disruptions wherever she has gone for far too long. Perhaps this is what it will take for her to mature, and become a little more civilised, and if that would be the case then it will not all have been for bad. Besides, her husband would never cast her out or publicly embarrass her. I am surprised he has let the rumours spread long enough"
"Why?" Jane asked, tilting her head in thought.
"Because Lord Marcus has been married three times and never had any children. Now that he is away, his current wife falls pregnant. Do you not think that says something more of him then of his wives?"
"So you think he will claim the child is his, even though it is not, to save his reputation of not being able to father children?"
"Exactly. And then the blame would fall on his previous wives. Besides, like any man, I am sure he is hoping for a son to have as heir to his estate".
Jane ate her final piece of apple as she thought over the situation.
"Well, it seems in ways an obvious choice to make, especially given Lord Marcus' age. I am sure that it is better to him to pretend that child is his then to admit that it was he who was incapable fathering children. If the solution works for them, then it must work".
Edward looked surprised,
"This is a radical opinion, Jane"
"Well, it is certainly not one I would consider for myself or for us as a married couple. What she did was absolutely horrible, and it breaks the sacred sacrament of marriage. Being unfaithful is the lowest of low acts one can commit. But, when you look at the other options, and given that the married couple actually does not have any binding commonalities or love, it is a logical choice, at least".
"I agree" Edward said, "But I suspect we shall see for ourselves, for I have a feeling Lord Marcus will be in attendance tomorrow night, to show support to his wife with 'their' child".
"Where has he been?"
"Brussels, I think. Though he has been known to travel frequently and has homes in almost every capitol in Europe, so it is anyone's guess".
Jane nodded thoughtfully, rubbing her stomach happily.
"That was quite good. I regret sharing now".
Edward laughed as he reached up to kiss his wife. But when he stirred, Henry began to fuss. So Edward kissed the top of Henry's head, resting his hand on his sons back soothingly.
"I'm sorry" he said, "Did I disturb you?"
Jane smiled and looked off into the distance, her mind deep in thought. Edward turned to glance at her, and surveyed her curiously.
"Are you worried for tomorrow night, darling?"
"No" she replied easily, "I am never worried about social gatherings when I am with you".
A soft smile.
"I am glad to hear, given how much I know you hate the whole affair normally".
Jane blushed, "Well, as of late I have tried to have a more positive attitude towards social gatherings, as your wife".
"What do you mean?"
"Only that I understand being married to an important and high ranking man entails me being at balls and dinners and all the things of which I normally wish to hide from. But, it is rather a small price to pay for being your wife, and so I have decided to be a little more gracious towards them".
"I can see how hard you are working, darling, to be so optimistic. It is very endearing. I would kiss you right now if I could".
Jane smiled and reached down to kiss his forehead.
"You tease me. You know that is not the kind of kiss I meant".
"No, but I am afraid for now it is all you get".
A grin, and then a serious look.
But in all seriousness, Jane, I do not want you to feel like you must act this way for my sake-"
"No" Jane said quickly, "I do not".
"Because you know I would be just as content, more content, to just be at home with you, reading, or talking or doing absolutely nothing. Balls and social gatherings mean nothing to me now, apart from getting to feel immensely proud to have you beside me as my wife".
"I do know. And am very thankful for it".
Edward reached out and took Jane's hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing her sweetly.
"I want you to know your place is at my side, in all things. You have a place here. You are inferior to no person who will walk through those doors tomorrow. You will be far superior to them in every way".
Jane smiled at him, biting her lip. He grinned at her in anticipation for hearing her thoughts.
"What is it?"
"Well" Jane began, speaking in a whisper "Perhaps apart from my dancing skills".
Edward laughed heartily, pressing his hand to his forehead.
When Edward opened his eyes again for the first time, he noticed the sky that had been warm and bright in the day had darkened significantly. Edward sat up quickly, holding Henry close to his chest.
"Come on love, it looks like rain. We should get going".
Handing their son to Jane, Edward swept over the picnic site, scooping everything into his arms and throwing it into the basket. Every passing moment made the sky turn darker and darker. Henry began to fuss again and Jane bounced him in her arms in an attempt to soothe him.
"It is alright. We're going back now, and we shall try to put you down for a nap. Then you will feel better".
Edward, with a little more urgency, had grabbed the basket and wrapped the blanket around Jane and Henry.
"There is no time to waste, let us go".
Dark heavy clouds were now moving over and covering the sky in menacingly dark shadows. Jane prayed silently that it did not start raining before they could return to the house. If Henry got wet, and caught a cold...
The rain began when they were in the gardens, still a distance from the house, but not far. Jane wrapped the blanket solely around Henry, providing as many layers between him and the rain as possible. It was wet, and cold, very unlike summer rain, and Jane felt a chill flood her bones. Edward pulled her along with yet more urgency, struggling to get her and their son inside before they became too soaked. Jane knew what pulled on his mind. Last time it had rained like this while himself and Jane were out, he had left her under a tree to keep dry and Captain Franklin's brother had come along and assaulted her. Jane knew he would never leave her alone like that again, especially not with their child, but he also could not chance them catching cold by staying out in the rain. When he had pulled them under an arch in the garden which protected them from the downpour, he stopped abruptly and sized up the condition of Jane's dress. She was quite soaked through, the light grey dress she was wearing looking almost black. As for himself,
"he had little care for his own condition.
"Jane-"
"I am fine".
"It is running from your hair-"
"I am fine".
Jane pealed back the blanket, happy to find Henry nearly completely dry.
"Thank goodness" she said, "The blanket was thick enough. Now I suppose we wait until the rain lets up"
"No. I am going to leave you and Henry here. I cannot chance you getting any more wet, nor him. I will hurry and grab some help, and we will be back to get you. You should be safe here, there are servants all around".
"Edward, no. That is far too much of a hassle for this. I am sure if we simply wait a few more minutes it will let up, and we can make it to the house-"
"I am not having you catch cold from standing in layers of wet clothes, Jane. Who knows when this rain will let up. Stay here".
"But-"
"Do not be so stubborn Jane".
True to his word, he returned for his wife and his son within minutes and they were successfully brought into the house without getting any wetter. Although she had been slightly annoyed at his commanding tone, Edward's care and consideration as a husband could not be overlooked. When he returned to them Jane saw a genuine concern darken his aspect, and when they had made it back to their room and Jane tried to change Henry he had insisted that she go and take off her wet things first and that he would tend to Henry instead.
With as much speed as she could, Jane stripped herself of her soaked undergarments and dress and got changed into a single under-layer that was far warmer and dryer. She pinned her dripping hair up into a bun quickly and returned to help with Henry so that Edward could also change. He did not argue with her, his wet clothes dripped all over the carpet beneath his feet.
In spite of all the chaos, Henry was no longer fussing or upset. Jane bundled him in a blanket and held him close to her on the bed. She could see his eyes, his eyes that were so like his father, begin to drop and when he had settled into a calm and easy sleep she laid him into his crib, swaddled in blankets sure to keep him cosy as she slept.
As she looked down into her son's crib,Jane felt a large and warm hand on her shoulder. A kiss was planted on her cheek as protective arms encircled her. She relaxed back into the embrace, leaning into the warmth that he had in abundance and she did not.
"Come on, you go and sit by the fire and I shall call for some tea".
. . . . .
When Jane woke the next day the house was similarly full of activity, but this day the Rochester's could not escape it. The ball was to take place at seven o'clock, first with a formal dinner and then a dance. Jane tried to be as helpful as possible, even though the Franklin's had a massive body of servants well equipped for the task. After being ushered out of the dining room when she tried to help lay some dinnerware for the night, Jane decided she could be the most help in the nursery. She did not like being away from Henry, and she very much liked the nurses who had been hired to care for Daniel, so she found it pleasant to pass time in the nurses company. Being young, and having never attended a ball, the nurses had lots of questions for Jane about the event in general which even she did not have an answer to. Still, even talking about it kept them well entertained until Jane was forced to leave to get ready. She kissed the babies goodbye and returned to her room.
One of the lady servants in the Franklin home helped Jane get ready. It took quite a long time, far longer than she was used to. But eventually, when the servant had left, Jane stood in front of the long mirror surveying herself. The dress was cream satin with pleats all around the full skirt. Fabric from the neckline of the dress converged at the waist in a v-shape while small capped sleeves ended just above her elbow. She had on accompanying long white gloves. Her hair was styled in two large braids that wrapped from the front of her hair to the back in a sort of crown style with curls freely falling in the back. Very small white flowers had been placed in points along the braid very simply.
Since her last ball, which was some time ago now, Jane felt more comfortable in this situation. More comfortable, however, was not at ease. She still felt like an impostor. The beautiful dress and the prettily fashioned hair did not hide how plain Jane was under it all, nor how little practice she had in carrying herself as a lady married to an important and distinguished man. She smiled at her reflection, at the woman who stood underneath all of the layers of formal wear. Leaving the bathing room beside her bedroom, Jane caught sight of her husband sitting on the edge of the bed before he noticed her.
He looked absorbed in his own thoughts as he unconsciously and slowly tied his cravat with expert precision. His ease of being, his assuredness about life, his constancy made Jane always feel at peace. If for a moment she felt overwhelmed or unsure, one look at him settled her. There it was, she thought, all her hopes of heaven and happiness, all of her love and life concentrated in him, sitting on the edge of their bed, unaware she was thinking any of these things about him.
His head turned when she made a movement. Looking down instantly at her dress, Jane ran her hands over her dresses fabric in search of the reason for her husbands alarm.
"What is it?"
"Nothing. Nothing bad at least. You look absolutely beautiful, Jane. Like a vision"
"Oh" she said quickly, "Thank you".
He chuckled as he stood, pulling on his vest and buttoning it up.
"Always the tone of surprise with you, especially when you are being complimented".
He pulled Jane's mouth to his, wrapping his arms around her waist and putting his hand at the back of her head. Flowers fell from where they had been delicately placed, causing Edward to break the kiss suddenly.
"Oh, sorry love"
He picked them off the floor, collecting them in his hand.
"Turn, let me see if I can put this right".
Grinning, Jane turned back onto him. He did his best to put them back into place and spun Jane around again to face him.
"I am afraid that being kissed in that way is simply a hazard of appearing before a very loving husband looking so lovely".
Jane sent him a knowing, teasing look before holding his face in her hand for a moment, surveying him.
"You, Edward Rochester, may not be the most handsome man at the ball this evening, but no doubt you will be the most clever, the most charming and the most intelligent one. I do not want any women besides myself finding that out".
He chuckled, putting his arms around her waist and holding her at arms length.
"Well, I had no particular plans..."
"I day say you do not"
"Come" he said smiling, taking her by the hand and leading her towards the door.
But something in her chest sunk, and she suddenly had a rush of anxiety fill her system.
"Edward" she said quickly as she grabbed his arm to stop him. He turned around to look at her, concern filling his face.
"What is it, sweetheart?"
"Thank you, for making me feel at better. I still find balls intimidating, I still do not fit in with all the people downstairs. You make it all much easier for me".
A nod and a small kiss on her temple.
"Thank goodness you do not fit in with them. I like you just as you are".
"I know. But you know what I mean. I am not of their kind, and they know it as well as I do"
"Yes, but do not make yourself uneasy. You are far better than any woman will be downstairs. I told you before Jane, your station is in my heart, and on the necks of people who would look down upon you. I will be by your side the whole time".
Jane smiled, "Okay. Let us go"
But Edward did not move, he smiled slightly, and then his face relaxed into a serious look as held Jane steady.
"You are meant to enjoy yourself tonight. It is not made to be torture. I would hate to think of you as miserable the whole time".
"I will not be, for I am with you".
"Very well. Let's say goodbye to Henry one more time, and then we shall go downstairs".
. . .
Jane and Edward descended the staircase together, her arm resting on his. As they rounded the corner, the dull buzz of evident conversation grew louder and louder. The foyer, though not the main ballroom, was packed full of people arriving. It was lowly lit by candles lining the walls, and as it was night time it cast a warm glow around the large and spacious entryway. Other couples, linked by arms, chatted to Diana and Captain Franklin who stood in the door greeting their guests. People hovered, engaging in formal and polite conversation with those they knew and were being introduced to strangers by other guests.
As they reached the bottom of the steps, Jane felt the eyes of the room turn onto her, surveying her without reserve. She reminded herself to not look away, and not to avert her gaze to the floor. Instead, she looked at her husband who gave her a reassuring smile and lead her away past the foyer and into the main ballroom.
If Jane had felt overwhelmed by the amount of people in the foyer, it was nothing compared to the number of people gathered in the ballroom. People were packed in around the walls of the room, leaving room in the middle for dancing. Though people spoke lowly in whispered conversations, the sheer amount of people caused the general state of whispering to sound like the noise of a train. There were too many people to see the other side of the room, and Jane clung instinctively closer to her husband.
"Edward, is this normal?"
"Is what normal?"
"This ballroom? The sheer number of people here?"
"Yes, I believe so. Look, I see a path for us to take. This way, our party will be at the head of the room".
Jane obeyed him happily, eager to make it to some familiar faces.
"One time" Edward began, keeping Jane close to him so she could hear his voice over the tumult of sound, "I went to a ball in Russia. It was at the imperial palace. I had been invited last minute and thought since I had no other commitments I would go. Well, the room was about three times the size of this one, covered all in gold. The floor itself seemed to sparkle with gold. And people covered every square inch of the space. There was practically no room for dancing, people were turned away at the doors"
"Really?"
"Indeed"
"And what was it you did the whole night?"
"Drink, talk, dance, and drink more. I will save you a reprimanding look, Jane. I was very young, and very foolish then".
"I was not about to send you a reprimanding look. I know that you have since learned better".
"Indeed. In those days I thought it the height of satisfaction to have the most dance partners by the end of the night as possible. Now I know that it is to only have one".
Jane squeezed his arm.
"Impressive recovery, Mr Rochester".
He smiled warmly at her and continued to guide her towards the front of the room.
"How are dances different in Russia than here?"
"They are far less polite, far less proper" he grinned, "Women are...well, men get away with far more of what they desire".
"Ah" Jane said, considering such to herself, "I see".
"The music there is superb" he continued, "You would love it, Jane. Such melodies as you have never heard before in your life".
"I am afraid I have heard very little in my life to compare it to"
"That is my fault" Edward said, a little sadly and unexpectedly.
Jane was surprised at his reaction. It seemed like the sort of response that was ready prepared, as if this thought had been on his mind for some time. Confused, Jane shook her head,
"What do you mean?"
A group of giggling young girls ran behind Jane, and Edward quickly moved her out of the way, avoiding them smashing into her.
"Well, I promised you I would show you the world when we became married-"
"Which you have"
"Not to the extent I would have liked"
Jane sent him a meaningful look, but at that moment Anne and Mr Eshton walked up to them and grinned brightly.
"My, what a happy looking couple" Anne said, "You are dressed to suit each other perfectly".
Anne was wearing a light pink dress with a drawn skirt and puff sleeves. A bright jewel sparkled on her neck, and her hair was ornately done in a bun on top of her head. She looked very elegant. Mr Eshton was dressed similarly to Edward, and well, except for he had a large pocket watch chain dangling from his pocket and now had some gold rings on his fingers. Not every man chose to wear a wedding ring, but Edward did, and it struck Jane as an odd contrast having her husband with one ring and Eshton seeming now to have one on most of his fingers. It had bothered Anne that he had chosen not to wear a wedding ring, but she had said nothing of it to anyone but Jane.
"Thank you" Jane replied, "You both look well"
"You can still pull yourself together I see Eshton" Edward said, teasing his friend "Where did you obtain all those rings?"
"They were gifts, family heirlooms" he replied, "You could use some yourself Rochester, you only have the one"
"Which I am fine with" he replied quickly, "I do like to be able to use my hands from time to time. Can you lift yours with all that weight?"
"Very funny. Jane, how do you put up with him?"
Jane smiled, "He would know not to cross me in such a way. Besides, much to his dismay I do not have many jewels to wear, and so we cannot comment on me wearing them or not".
Anne laughed, "You wish her to buy more jewels, Mr Rochester?"
"I wish for her to buy anything for herself, frankly. She refuses. But, I am not surprised by that in the least".
"Speaking of surprises" Anne said, "Did you see Mary in the foyer with Diana and Captain Franklin? She is standing with them, greeting guests"
"Really?" Eshton asked, "Impossible. She was considering in her room a little while ago if she was even going to come".
"Something must have changed her mind" Edward shrugged, "But I am glad of it. She deserves to have a good night".
But Jane was not listening to the conversation, she was thinking. Mary was expecting someone, she must have been. Nothing else could have compelled her to wait so boldly in the door when she so wished to remain unseen. It could not be Father Andrew...he was too far away to come all this distance for a ball, especially given what he would have to face there. Who was it then?
"Jane?" Edward was asking, turning on his wife. Anne and Mr Eshton had become tied up in conversation with someone that Jane did not recognise. Edward watched his wife,
"Is everything alright?"
"Was Lady Denver invited, do you know?" Jane asked softly.
"I believe she was out of respect, but I would find it surprising if she came all of this way for a ball of which she already said she was incredibly weary of. Why? Why would it matter if she came?"
"Because she would have news of Father Andrew, and I was thinking that that may be the reason Mary is waiting at the door with Diana and Captain Franklin".
Edward nodded, "Well, I fear that she may not get the answers she wishes to hear. I can hardly imagine-"
"Mr Rochester, Ms Rochester" said a brisk voice.
Jane turned and saw Lady Denver standing before her, balancing on her cane and looking piercingly into her face.
"Lady Denver" Edward said bowing quickly, "How do you do?"
"I will be better once I have stood here for a few minutes. The carriage ride was awful, completely inadequate driver"
"I am sorry to hear that, Lady Denver".
"Are you? Then perhaps you could ensure for me that I will have a comfortable drive home tonight"
The sharp tone of command caused Anne and Mr Eshton to break off their conversations and turn around.
"Oh, hello Lady Denver" Eshton said, bowing to her as well.
She turned on him, quickly silenced him, and wheeled back on Edward.
"How will you ensure that I have a comfortable ride home?"
"Well, Lady Denver, I intend to help you but as you know this is not my home-"
"Is Captain Franklin not your brother by marriage?"
"No he is not, actually" Eshton said, "Diana is Ms Rochester's cousin, not her sister. But regardless-"
"Indeed. Regardless. Mr Eshton I do not remember asking you that question".
Shrinking back into silence, Edward proceeded,
"As I was saying, Lady Denver, this is not my home. So, I will speak with Captain Franklin about arranging a ride home for you. But, I feel confidant enough to say that it will not be a problem. Where is it that you are staying tonight? You cannot be riding all the way back to our county tonight?"
"Of course not. I have a friend, Lady Allen. I am staying at her estate close to here"
"Excellent, well then consider it arranged"
"I will when you have spoken to Captain Franklin".
Eshton went to say something angrily, but Anne tugged his arm to stop him.
"Very well, Lady Denver".
Jane was slightly surprised at her husbands composure, he was usually not so good at managing his feelings when someone was being so obviously rude- but tonight he did not seem to care. They shared a private smile before there was the sound of a clinking glass to draw everyone's attention to the centre of the room where Captain Franklin wad standing with Diana at his side, ready to address the room. Jane happened to turn and see a women standing a little ways off, speaking lowly but with great energy to the girl beside her.
With a jolt of recognition, Jane realised it was Blanche and her sister.