Hello all!
First of all, thank you, thank you, thank you for all your amazingly kind comments on my last chapter. I cannot express to you how happy they make me, and how encouraging they are in me being excited to write more. Thank you again.
I'm sorry this is a slightly shorter chapter, and that it has taken a while. I have been super busy in school, and am only now getting the chance to write more freely. More will be coming soon, and I am excited for the next turn in the story, and to hear what you think.
Much love. I hope you guys are all well. Thank you for the continued support, xoxo
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
That night, Jane found herself sitting in the tub, eyes closed, determined to enjoy every ounce of time that passed without noise.
Henry had cried the whole way home in the carriage. He screeched, in fact, apart from the times where Jane was feeding him or his father was vigorously rocking him in his arms. Edward had snapped at Jane for trying to talk to him when he was trying to calm him down, claiming he couldn't hear her over all the crying. When they had arrived home, Edward had taken Henry up to his nursery to put him to sleep and Jane asked for a bath to be drawn.
She was not upset. It had been a very trying afternoon and everyone had had a difficult few days. Naturally he had less patience than her, and at any rate, the frustration of the carriage ride home was enough to make anyone short and impatient. If marriage had taught her one thing- if Edward had taught her one thing, it was to lead with only love.
It was strange. Jane had always thought that having Henry had not changed their love, but upon reflection it had changed it a great deal. It was deeper now, more patient, more understanding. Both she and he had a life that they were willing to put before their own, and that bound them together in an indescribable way. No one in the world knew her as he did. No one could anticipate her thoughts and feelings like he could. No one could possibly carry another person's soul, her soul, as he did- as a treasure which was more important than his own. Having Henry deepened every bond she had with him, and by the way she caught him looking at her when they were alone together, or when they were in a room of one hundred people, she knew he felt the same way. It was just not the type of feeling that could be put into words.
The bedroom door creaked opened and Edward stepped inside. Though Jane could not see him, she recognised his footstep on the wooden floor, then on the carpet.
"Jane?"
"In here"
He stepped into the room a moment later and Jane smiled up at him.
"I've come to apologise" he said genuinely, kneeling beside the tub. He took the hand which rested on the rim of the bath and held it in his. Jane only shook her head, not breaking her eye contact with him.
"There is no need"
"I should not have gotten upset with you. I was only tired and stressed. I'm sorry"
"I know that" she said, "There is nothing to forgive. It was a stressful day, and a rough ride home. It could have easily been me barking at you".
"That is highly unlikely" he said, "But I appreciate it all the same".
Jane smiled at him warmly.
"What was it that you were trying to ask me when I snapped at you?" he inquired.
"Oh, nothing important. I was only going to ask if it was possible for me to have a bath when we returned home. There was no need to ask, however, for I knew what the answer would be".
"Mmm. And is it nice?"
"Very" she said definitely, "But I have to get out now. There is too much to do, and I cannot lay around all day like this"
"For goodness sake, Jane. Relax for once"
"I would rather get out and have time with you"
Jane laid the soap on the side of the tub and went to stand, but she slipped and probably would have fallen back if her husband was not there to steady her.
"Careful, love"
"I know, goodness" she said, placing her hand on her chest, "My heart is racing now"
Edward shook his head, "Perhaps it was a good idea after all for you to get out of the bath with me here" he said, helping her down onto the mat.
Jane smiled,
"Are not all of my ideas good ones?"
He grabbed her towel from a nearby table and wrapped it around her, kissing her cheek affectionately.
"Most of them are very good ones"
He began to dry her off while Jane looked at him indignantly.
"Which of mine are not good ones?"
"Well, let me think" he said, "Deciding it was a good idea to traipse into my bedroom in Thornfield Hall and dowse me in water to drown me in the middle of the night, for one"
"I believe that is what one calls saving a life"
"Ah, yes indeed. But you were alluring me with innocent words and eyes then"
"That is not something I can help. I never know when I am being innocent, for I do not know the difference in your eyes"
"See?" he said, "You are doing it now. You mustn't look at me in that way, Jane".
"Fine" she said, grinning to herself and turning around so he could dry her back, "Anything else?"
"None that I would admit to" he said, turning her around again and putting his arm around her as they walked into their bedroom."Perhaps marrying me- but I could never agree to such seeing as by returning you have made me indescribably happy".
Jane sat down on the bed so that she could wring out the excess water from her hair. Edward stood, leaning against a chair. His aspect darkened as a certain thought moved over him. He crossed his arms, looking curious.
"What do you think you would have done, if you had not returned to me? What would your life have looked like? I am not sure I have ever asked you. It just seems like such an impossibility now"
"I do not know..." she replied thoughtfully, "I believe I probably would have stayed teaching at the little school, contented in my work but not truly content in my life. I think overtime I would have found much enjoyment in the things I did, but seeing as I had known what it was like to be loved as much as a person could possibly be loved on earth, I doubt I could have ever been truly happy again. What do you think you would have done?"
Edward turned rather serious for a moment. Jane knew that having thought such would be the reality for a year, he would know the response right away.
"I fear I know the answer to this, for I thought about it often in that year we were apart. I would have done nothing. Nothing more than I had been doing, in those days. I would have certainly died prematurely of a broken heart or lack of motivation for life. My only reason for getting up in the morning would have been to hear any news of you- even if it meant learning you were married to someone else. Then at least I would have known that you were not dead, and I could have hoped for your happiness".
Jane lowered the towel she was drying her hair with and observed him sadly.
"I cannot think of you like that"
"Well, I do not know that man anymore," he said, "so you should not think of him either. Besides, if such had been the case we would not have had Henry"
"Impossible" Jane smiled, pulling her nightdress over her head and standing to smooth it out, "Certainly impossible to imagine after the carriage ride today"
He grinned and walked forward to kiss her. His hand cupped her face as he stepped back and stroked her cheek with his thumb. Jane looked more carefully into his face and surveyed him cautiously.
"Edward, do you feel alright?"
"I am tired is all"
"No, you look pale. You do not look well".
"I will be well when I sleep" he promised, kissing Jane's forehead. He dropped his hand from hers so that she could climb into bed, but she continued to survey him sceptically as he got in beside her. She took the candle off the side table and held it to his face.
"What are you doing?"
"You are white as a ghost, and you are clammy... Edward perhaps I should call for a doctor-".
"Jane" he said, a little annoyed, "I am well, only tired. You shall see when I wake up".
"Very well" she said, not entirely convinced of this herself.
Edward lay down in bed and covered himself up in the blankets, turning towards the wall without saying another word. Jane lay down and waited through several moments of complete silence before she sat upright once more.
"You are sick"
Edward turned onto his back and looked at his wife, confused.
"You did not kiss me goodnight. You never forget to do such- or at least you never allow for such not to pass"
"I was not ready for bed yet, I was just getting comfortable"
"Edward, please be honest with me".
He sighed,
"I do feel a little sick- Jane. It is moving into autumn and the changing weather has shaken me slightly, that is all. Sleep will do me well".
"Mmm" she said pushing back his hair and kissing his forehead affectionately, "Sleep well then, my darling".
He looked at her expectantly until she leaned down and pressed her lips to his, brushing his lips with her thumb.
"I love you"
He pulled Jane down into bed and nestled into her comfortably before muttering his love for her into her shoulder.
. . . . .
Jane woke the next morning to find that Edward was not laying beside her. She sat up quickly to find that he was sitting on the side of the bed, hunched over and looking quite drained. She climbed out of bed and went to kneel before him, smiling warmly up into his sunken complexion.
"Not a good night then?"
"No, not compared to others" he smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. But then his countenance turned and he sighed painfully, "Oh Jane, I do not feel well"
"Come on, get back in bed then and try to go back to sleep. You moved all night long, and I am sure you did not get enough rest to do you any good".
The sound of Henry's crying cut through the room and broke the quiet moment. Edward groaned,
"I have kept you up all night and now Henry is up at...", he glanced at the clock, "Five thirty. My God what a day already".
"It does not matter" Jane assured him kindly, running her hand down his arm, "It does not matter. Just try and sleep".
She pulled on her robe and tied it at the waist before leaving the room to go to Henry's nursery. The room was only next door, so as long as Henry cried, Edward would remain awake. Jane entered and advanced towards his crib, looking down into it to see her son, red in the face with tears but with a ray of recognition for her.
"Good morning my darling" she soothed, picking him up and rocking him in her arms. "Come on, let us take a walk. Your father need to sleep".
Jane dressed him in warmer clothes, soothing him as she did so. She tried to rock him into silence in between the actions of dressing him, but it did not work, and eventually she just wrapped him up warmly and brought him downstairs into his pram so she could walk him in the gardens.
It was a cool morning- cooler than Jane had first thought it to be when she looked outside. Chilly dew still sat undisturbed on the trees and grass, and the crisp air was enough to invigorate the sleepy eyes and complexion of those who stepped out into it. The gravel walk crunched under Jane's feet as she pushed her son, an action which always set him at ease. It was too early for sun, and so the world was cast in a blue-shaded hue as she moved along, smiling at the morning.
Had it been a windy day, she would have been forced to return to her house far sooner. But it was calm, and the earth warmed ever so slightly as she and Henry walked. It was her intention to stay out as long as possible so that Edward could sleep undisturbed, but she had a feeling he would not sleep well. Regardless, she was content to walk in circles if it meant keeping her son happy. If Edward was sick, however, Henry would need to be kept far away. She did not want her son taking cold on account of her husband, for having a sick child was simply too frightening. So much could happen, and so much could go wrong. She shook the thought from her mind and turned a corner around the front of the house.
Pulled between almost falling asleep standing up and appreciating the morning, much time passed before Jane was again conscious of her surroundings. She was pushing Henry back and forth on the path when one of the stable boys came running out of the house. He sprinted towards Jane, heaving as he reached her.
"Ma'am, you must come. Master was coughing up phlegm just now and could not catch his breath. He is very unwell"
Jane's heart jumped into her throat as her heart raced. Panic flooded her system, and she felt momentarily as if she was pinned to the spot, unable to move or think.
"Gavin, go ride for the doctor. Ride as quickly as you can and tell him it is an emergency".
"Yes ma'am". He sprinted again for the stables and was soon out of sight.
Jane picked Henry up from his pram and walked with him swiftly into the house. There was a group of servants idling in the foyer, waiting for orders. Their heads were bowed low and their eyes were flickering between Jane and the floor.
"Girls, I am leaving Henry in your care. I must go and be with Mr Rochester, but I want Henry kept away- he cannot become sick too".
"Of course, miss. Where will we keep him?"
"As far away as possible, until we learn what this illness is. Maybe in the the servants corridors, if it is not too much trouble".
"Of course" Leah said, "I will see to it personally. Girls, go and get his things from upstairs and have John bring down his crib".
Jane discarded her cloak and ran up the steps into her bedroom. Edward was lying back on the bed, breathing heavily, drenched in sweat. He did not look up to see who had entered the room, but he held out his hand when Jane reached him and tried to take a steadying breath.
"Shh" Jane soothed, "Shh, darling. The doctor is coming".
She began working at once without thought. She grabbed the basin of water from the nightstand and dipped a fresh cloth into the cold water, laying it on his overheated forehead. She then pushed opened his nightshirt and lay another cold cloth across his chest. He shuddered, but his breathing resumed normally shortly after and he drew a shallow breath.
"I will be well Jane" he promised breathily, "Do not look so scared".
She flashed him a serious look, and then took the cloth off his forehead to re-submerge it in cool water.
"Did Henry settle-"
"Edward, please stop talking"
"I am well, love"
Jane felt his forehead,
"You are hot"
"Mmm, I do not mind it so much when you say it"
He began coughing roughly, and Jane helped move him up in bed so that he could drink some tea.
He was flushed and tired from even moving into a sitting position, and Jane felt her stomach knot painfully. Fearful tears would have risen to her eyes if she was not so determined to help where she could. She refilled his tea and sat down beside him, taking his hand in hers.
"I would tell you to go and be with Henry, but I cannot imagine you would allow for that"
"No, I am afraid you are stuck with me for now".
"Not stuck" he smiled weakly, "Never stuck".
Jane watched him sip back his tea painfully, but it seemed to be none the less a comfort to him.
"Thank you" he said softly, "That is very nice. Where is Henry?"
"He is down with the servant girls"
"Is he happy?"
"He was when I left him, yes. But I am sure by now he misses his father".
"I was wondering that-"
But a coughing fit overtook him and he struggled to catch his breath as he coughed up mucus.
"Here" Jane offered, handing him a handkerchief.
He took it graciously and coughed again, holding it tightly to his mouth.
"I am so rarely sick that I forgot it is possible"
"You have never seen sick since I have known you"
"Hm" he mused, "That has been over three years now. But you've not been sick either- only when you were pregnant and unwell"
"I was many things when I was pregnant, unfortunately"
"An apparent monster, then?" he suggested, with slightly less vigour than he normally would have spoken with, "Do not be foolish. When you were pregnant you were nothing short of a miracle".
But he coughed again, and Jane rubbed his back, taking his tea momentarily from him so that he did not spill it.
"What can I do so that you will remain quiet and save your breath?"
"You can go back to sleep, that way you get some extra sleep and I will have no one to talk to".
Jane smiled weakly at him,
"What if I read to you?"
"I would like that very much. What was it you were reading about the other day? The mountains of Switzerland?"
"Mmm, I was reading that there is a new interest in mountaineering. People climb these mountains to the very peek and look out over the earth. It is shocking".
Edward smiled slightly,
"It seems like the kind of reckless activity I would have loved in my youth for its danger and extremism- when I had little to live for and little to give me hope of the future. Now you could not give me anything in this world to tempt me to do it".
"Well, you would have to go through me first, and I am afraid such would be an impossible"
He chuckled slightly, coughing as he went to speak again,
"Indeed I would".
Jane poured him another cup of tea and handed him the teacup, but as she did so, Edward suddenly looked very serious.
"Jane, you should not be in here with me. I will make you sick too, and then there will be no one to care for Henry. Leave me, the doctor will be here soon".
"Edward, love, I hardly think that will matter seeing as I slept in your arms the whole night".
He tried to argue with her, but Jane took his hand and squeezed it gently,
"In sickness, and in health. You will be well soon, and I will be with you until you are".
But the next time he coughed, there was blood on the handkerchief in his hand, and Jane felt her stomach turn sickeningly.
"Oh please God hurry" she muttered under her breath, looking to the window.
. . .
An hour later, there was a knock on the bedroom door and a tall white haired man walked in. He had a kind face, and a reassuring nature in spite of Jane's utter panic that hid just under the facade she was trying so desperately hard to control. She had taken to reading to Edward, but he was more quiet now, taking Jane's advice of saving his breath. Seeing the man before her was an immense relief.
"Mr Rochester, hello. I can see you are in a bad way. But not to worry. This is an illness that has been sweeping through the town. Your treatment will be easy enough"
"Dr. Bradbury, I was coughing up blood"
"A common symptom. One simply coughs so much that it produces a rawness in the throat that causes it to bleed. There is no need for worry. I will examine you now though, just to be sure".
"And my sweating?"
"Fever. That is perhaps the most worrisome part. But I see you here to be in better shape than others I have treated and so I am not concerned. It is best to keep bathing yourself with cool water, to keep your temperature down, and to change the cloth often so it remains cool. I can see that your wife has been doing well on that front so far".
Jane stood beside the doctor, hand to her mouth.
"Have you been drinking much fluid?"
"I drank much water during the night. But today it has been tea, mostly"
"Try some brandy. Should help with your fever".
The doctor began examining Mr Rochester, but he concluded quickly without much sign of alarm.
"I know you must be uncomfortable, Mr Rochester but this is not life threatening and thus you should not be concerned. Simply remain in bed until it passes, drink lots of fluids, try to remain as cool as possible, and limit the amount of talking you do or any other vocal activity until you feel better. I shall call back in a few days to check up on you".
"Thank you doctor" Mr Rochester said, "We have a young son. We have kept him away from me these past few hours, but is that necessary?"
"Yes, I think so. Just for cautionary sake. When this passes in a few days, and you feel better, then he can be near you again. The mother, however, may pass between you two easily. There should be no danger in that".
Feeling much better in knowing she could take care of both her son and husband, Jane walked the doctor out to the front door.
"Thank you for coming so quickly. My husband is so rarely ill, it alarmed us both".
"I have been called for far smaller things" he said kindly, "But it is frightening when someone takes ill quickly. Just make sure your husband stays in bed and relaxes for a few days. He obviously does not need to work, so he should not for now. He will recover more quickly that way".
When the reached the door, the doctor showed himself out, waving to Jane as he got onto his carriage and drove away.
Jane slumped against the frame of the main door and sighed, looking towards the still somewhat grey day with a settling sense of calm. Now the only issue would be trying to get her husband to remain in bed, and above all quiet. She had a feeling that would be a challenge.