After a week of being sick, Jane was resolved never to be sick again.
For the first few days, she felt almost guilty at how well the house ran without her. With years more experience in managing a house, Edward kept everything with the servants running effortlessly smooth- far more easily than she had. Jane would have asked if he needed help with anything, but it was evident that he did not need help. Apart from nursing Henry, she did very, very little.
Within a few days, however, Edward seemed to reach his breaking point. Issues continued to occur within the house on top of Edward dealing with a continually screeching Henry, who was feeling especially bad while only one parent could take care of him. Jane caught sight of her husband very little, but when she did he was irritated and short tempered. Though it was not directed at her, it left Jane feeling guilty, and Edward was careful not to show it to her again.
Jane slept a lot- far, far more than she normally did. Her head felt like lead, and just the simple task of lifting it off the pillow felt enormously difficult. She was not hungry for anything, but Edward made sure she had a constant supply of tea always. When he did come in to check on her he was always genuinely concerned, and showed her as much attention as he could for the time that he had. But when Henry began to cry, he was gone again with only a brief kiss on the forehead.
Within another few days Jane began to feel better. With her son not being able to see her, however, and her husband too busy to, she found herself to be a little lonely. It made her thoughtful, for not not three years ago she only had herself in the world as a small, insignificant governess. She must have felt lonely then, but it was so normal for her at that time that perhaps it was simply her default emotion. Now, it was agony not to see her son, and not to be able to help run her home alongside her husband. She did not share any of this, but Edward sensed it none the less and after she was well enough to be up and around, but not cleared to leave her room, he asked if Jane was feeling well enough for a visitor.
"If I can have a visitor, surely I can see my son"
"The doctor is coming tonight, sweetheart. Then you can see your son to your hearts content"
"Then who is this visitor here now?"
"Anne. I thought you may like some company of the afternoon"
"Oh" Jane said in surprise, "That would be wonderful. Thank you"
"I will go and get her then"
A few minutes silence passed and then Anne rounded the corner of the door dressed as elaborately as ever and looking lovely. She was dressed in a lilac silk dress with fancy lace around the collar. Her hair was pulled back more tightly than normal, though it did not give her the look of a matronly woman. Her face was full and glowing, and she looked as pleasant as she always did when arriving for what she refereed to as "women's time"
"Hello" Jane said as her friend entered the room.
"I heard someone was in need of some company" Anne said brightly, "How are you feeling, Jane?"
"Well, actually. Much better than I was a few days ago".
"Nasty cold. I can imagine you not doing well stuck in a bed with nothing to do though. How has Mr Rochester been without you?"
"He has been handling everything really well. He is excellent running the estate anyways, but now he has been watching Henry on top of it all and really tired, I am sure. He does not let onto me, however. How is Mr Eshton?"
"Oh, as busy as usual. He was in London for a few days this week. He is meant to return this afternoon but I'm not sure if he will. Sometimes he stays for a little longer, and if it is only for a night or so he usually does not write me to tell me so"
"He better be coming back" Edward said, advancing into the room, "I am supposed to be meeting with him later this afternoon. Your husband told me your sister is coming to stay with you next week?".
"Ah yes! She arrives the day after tomorrow, actually. We hoped you and Jane would come over for dinner, once she is settled in".
Edward glanced at his wife,
"If you are feeling up to it?"
"I will be" Jane confirmed, "That sounds lovely Anne, thank you".
"Well it may be" she replied, a little reluctantly, "My sister and her husband are, well-"
She stopped herself, looking pensive.
"I do not know...my sister is hard to describe. She was a lot like me when we were younger but she has now married a man whom I am not very fond of. It changed her, drastically"
"In what sense?" Jane mused
"Well, she is not an educated, worldly, or knowledgeable person but she pretends to be in just about everything. I have never seen someone spin so many wild tales and lies in order to verify fake facts in the whole of my life".
"Who did she marry?" Rochester asked, "A person that you knew?"
"No, no, someone completely foreign whom I had not meet until the day of the wedding. She travelled to Bath, met some young man there who was full of money. Well, that was enough for my parents even though they did not really know him at all. We never bonded, so I am still really not sure who he is"
"Then why are they coming to stay with you?" Jane asked, "It seems like a rather large imposition for someone who is not necessarily close to you".
"They are headed south to see some of his family. I think they were looking for a stopover place to rest for a night or two. More importantly I think they are itching to see Mr Eshton and his estate. They have heard plenty about him, but never meet him. My brother in law could not make it to our wedding for that is when his aunt died, and he was seeing to her affairs. I think my sister is concerned I married a better looking, wealthier man than her"
"Well, did you?" Edward grinned, clearly amused.
"Yes and no" Anne smiled, "Mr Eshton is much better looking I dare say, but certainly not financially better off- but she doesn't need to know that. Our house is certainly misleading though, for it is unnaturally large for a newly married couple. From what I understand, she is crammed into some corner house of London where she is just waiting for one of her husbands many old relatives to die so that she can move into his estate- Jane, do not give me that look"
"What look? I have no look" she said, biting her lip.
"You do. I am sure you think me unkind for saying such but just wait until you meet her. Then you will think I have been kind in describing her".
"Well, either way this dinner has now become rather interesting" Jane said, "You have intrigued me".
Edward nodded,
"Indeed, but I did actually come up here with a purpose- not just to interrupt you both"
"You could never interrupt" Anne insisted and Edward bowed his head graciously.
"All the same, I fear I have much to do, though I am sure it would be a much more pleasant afternoon passed with you two ladies as company. I was sent up to see if you two were interested in tea. Leah was on her way up but as I was coming up to check on you anyways, I said I would ask".
"Oh, I would like that very much. Anne?"
"I would love some, thank you"
"Then I will let Leah know. I will see you two later".
He kissed the top of his wife's head before leaving the room. Anne watched him intently until the door closed and then turned on her companion.
"So, tell me. With this house running so smoothly, and your husband clearly as in love with you as ever, do you have your eyes set on another little one?"
"Another baby?" Jane asked in surprise,
"Yes indeed!"
"My goodness, no, Anne. Not right now. I cannot even- no."
"Why ever not?"
"Because as it is I do not sleep and neither does my husband. Until Henry decides to have consistently good nights I cannot imagine having another baby to care for".
"But you do want more children eventually? Do you not?"
"Of course I do. But why do you ask?" Jane said, eyebrow raised.
Anne shook her head, sticking out her lip.
"No reason, really"
"It is not because you are with child again?"
Anne went to argue but closed her mouth, a grin sliding over her face.
"How did you know?"
"I can just tell. I have not seen that dress before, yet it is tight at the stomach. There is also something about the way you walked in and the glow on your full cheek".
As soon as the secret had dissolved between them, Anne launched into explanation speaking very lowly.
"Well, Jane, I have to tell you. Mr Eshton came home one day a few weeks ago and in a matter of fact voice said, 'Anne, it is time for us to finally have a baby' and I was so surprised"
"Did he?" Jane said, smiling in disbelief, "This is sudden inspiration indeed!"
"Well, I was so surprised I did not even know how to respond".
Anne leaned in closer, blushing brightly.
"Jane, he practically locked me in my room for three days, making sure I would conceive".
"Well then Anne, it certainly seemed to have worked".
"It better have- it was not an experience I would like to repeat. By the end of it I was exhausted, and spent much of my day alone in my sitting room away from my husband. But it was worth it in the end because Mr Eshton is so excited, and I feel really good about this baby. I know I have lost others before, but this time just feels right".
"I could not be more happy for you" Jane promised happily, taking her friend's hand, "This is so exciting. Have you been feeling well?"
"No actually. But on certain days I am fine. Like today I feel rather well. The other morning, however, I was quite ill and could not eat very much".
"Have you been taking walks daily? I found that helped me quite a lot, and seeing as snow is sure to come any day, I would encourage you to make use of your beautiful gardens before the snow falls".
"I tried, in truth. But walking is not for me, especially outside. If I feel the need to walk, I could walk laps around our home".
Jane smiled, "You are right. Regardless, you should just do whatever feels right for your body".
"That would be sleep. My goodness, how tired I am constantly. I have been getting into bed at eight o'clock, and not rising from it until near ten the next morning. You will think me frivolous and silly seeing as you hardly sleep at all now".
"Of course I do not. If I had been able to sleep when I was pregnant, I would have done much more of it. I think it is wonderful you are relaxing. Taking care of you and your baby is the most important thing right now".
"That is what Mr Eshton keeps telling me. I fear he thinks I will lose another child, or at least worries it is a possibility, and so he is trying to ease my life as much as possible. At first it made me sad and uncomfortable that he felt that way, but now I think he may be right, and that my only course of action must be to be still, and to be relaxed".
"But also to enjoy this! It is such an amazing thing to be pregnant. To watch yourself grow a child, even through the hard moments, is such an incredible gift. You have only to relax, and to revel in every moment of this. Do you think that this will all be too much with your sister visiting?"
"No, the servants are attending to everything, really. We are not even picking them up from the station, they said they would take a coach. It works out fine with me, for it means less time they spend with my husband"
"Do they not like Mr Eshton?"
"I do not know" Anne said, "They have never meet him, though I suspect they will not. The pair of them are rather humourless. They are very serious and find nothing funny that mocks their lifestyle. You know what Mr Eshton is like, always poking fun at things which to him are silly and irrelevant"
Jane smiled in understanding,
"As much as your husband can be light and in good spirits he is also very socially skilled in knowing when to be serious and when to listen"
"You are right, but I do not know- his temper is short. If my sister begins teasing, or her husband begins to make comments, Mr Eshton will not be long in saying something".
"In fairness to Mr Eshton they should not speak to you that way in your house. If they were to start saying things which were not fair, or not respectful, Mr Eshton would be in his right to say something".
"He would, and yet I would not trust him. There was this time my mother came to visit us, and she was telling me that I was being a bad wife to my husband because I did not have things arranged as my father liked his things arranged. But you know my husband, so you know he is not necessarily conventional. I was put off that night, stiffing tears in my room and when I would not open the bathroom door to speak to my husband he marched down the hall and told my mother that if she upset me again, she would be out of the house before she could utter one word. Well, she was incensed, but it must have done the trick because the next morning she acted as if nothing had happened, but she was significantly more kind towards me. You may not know Jane, but parents can be hard enough, let alone in-laws. That indeed can be very tricky".
"I know. Edward often tells me his parents would have disapproved of me in every possible sense".
"He told you that?!" Anne asked, looking rather serious.
"Yes, of course. He told me if my rank and lack of beauty were not enough to turn them off, my head-strong nature and curiosity for the world would have sealed the deal".
"Gracious" Anne said, but Jane only laughed,
"It is all very well. Edward was not very fond of his parents, for he said they were cruel and unkind. If such is the case, and I trust him on this particular point, perhaps it is a good thing that they would not have approved of me".
"Well they would be silly as well as cruel and unkind if that is the truth. How unimaginable that someone could not approve of you".
Jane felt a little warmth spread through her at the honesty of Anne's tone. At that moment the door opened and Leah walked in with a tea tray.
"Ladies, your tea".
. . . .
That night, after the doctor had returned and confirmed Jane was no longer ill, she spent the night with Henry in her arms in the nursery. After much time had passed in silence in which Jane saw and heard nothing but the sounds of her son cooing, Edward entered the room quietly with a blanket in her arms and sat down beside his wife, tucking it in around her.
She thanked him softly.
"It is cold in here".
"I know, the fire was lit a little later than normal this afternoon".
"Are you warm enough?"
"Mmm, now I am"
"Is Henry?" Edward asked, touching his son's face in order to check, but in truth Henry was wrapped so tightly in blankets it would have been impossible for him to be cold. Edward drew his hand back and wrapped it around his wife's back, holding her close to him.
"How was your meeting today with Mr Eshton?"
"It was the usual-it was good. Because Eshton was in London though for a while, I could tell he was tired and not consuming much of what we were speaking of"
"Which was?"
"I was trying to show him how to balance the sale of a legal property on his estate, but he was too tired for it. It happens to be a rather technical aspect of running a household and he did not internalise any of it"
"Has he been a good student overall to you?"
"Do you mean has he learned anything?"
"Mm"
"It is difficult to say. Though Eshton is a talented scholar when it comes to sciences, he does not have a mind for arithmetic. I have a feeling he could apply himself as much as he wanted and still fail to complete these notes and details with ease".
Jane smiled,
"You are unnaturally good at all disciplines of learning. You read constantly and so you write very well as a result. You are able to apply mathematics and science to anything you choose, and on top of everything else your mind is sharp and quick to memorise".
"Well, if such is true it is only because I liked school so much when I went. It is a crime, Jane, that women cannot attend University, for those were days of hope and happiness for me".
"It is too bad" Jane agreed, "I think I should have liked it very much"
"Liked it? Jane, you would have outshone every man there. You would have soared cloud high. I would have liked to see you in action".
Jane smiled as she kissed his cheek,
"But I guess the answer to your question is no, Eshton has not been a very successful pupil of estate matters, in spite of trying rather hard"
"I suppose in ways that is more important than the result" Jane replied thoughtfully.
"And how was tea with his wife? Anne seemed rather pleased with herself when she left"
"It was very nice. Thank you again for bringing her over, the company was much needed".
"I know it was. You were far more patient with being lonely than I was"
"Everyone knows you are a sook, Edward Rochester"
"Well I did not mean exactly that" he said defensively, "And not everyone knows that. It is only you who does, because you are the only person who is worth missing- apart from him, of course" he said, kissing his son's head.
Jane grinned and put her head on her husbands shoulder. He held her tighter, kissing the top of her head.
"Anne was very eager to know if we were planning on having another baby soon"
"Another baby? Why would she want to know that?" Edward asked in surprise,
"I have a feeling it was so that we could be pregnant together".
"She wants to try for another child?"
"She is with child now"
"Is she! I am glad to hear that"
"Mmm, and she is further along then she has ever been before which is a very good sign"
"And she wanted you two to be pregnant at the same time?"
"She asked if it was a plan"
"I could certainly arrange for that" he said, grinning boyishly. Jane smiled at him, a blush filling her cheeks.
"I know you could, but I told Anne that until both of us can get more than four hours of sleep a night we cannot have another child".
"Sure we could" Edward disagreed, "We could have one hundred and there would not be one complaint from me"
"Well there would be a complaint from me, because I am not birthing one hundred children- not even for you".
Edward chuckled softly, pressing his lips to his wife's neck tauntingly.
"I highly doubt that there is much in the world you would not do for me, Jane Rochester, if I asked you to".
"Well that would be one of them".
He chuckled again and took his son out of his wife's arms. He stood up and laid Henry in his crib gently, wrapping him in one additional blanket before helping his wife up from the couch.
"Well, all told, I am very happy for Eshton and Anne. I know how much Anne has wanted a child for so long now"
"It was not Anne this time who was the instigator"
"No?"
"She told me that Eshton told her in a matter of fact way that it was time to have a baby and that he practically locked her in his room for three days".
"Pssh" Edward said, shaking his head and chuckling to himself, "I see. Well, lucky Eshton I suppose"
"Not lucky Anne, though. She said she avoided him for several days after, just to regain a sense of calm in her life".
"And she told you all of this openly?"
"She did. She found it rather funny and so did I".
Edward turned and pulled his wife towards him as she tried to slip off her dress from the day.
"Perhaps Eshton has the right idea. Perhaps I should lock you in this room for three days and tell everyone we are not to be disturbed".
"If you did, you would not get the same result he did, I assure you".
"No, you are probably right" he said laughing, releasing her gently with a kiss.
. . . .
The next morning, Jane was downstairs before anyone else was. She did not sleep overly well, in spite of Henry only crying once during the night, and thought it was best to just begin her day if she wasn't to sleep any more.
The servants all greeted her good morning, especially John who approached her with a bunch of letters in his hand.
"The morning's mail, Ms Rochester"
"Thank you John" Jane replied, taking them from him.
Jane walked into her husbands study and sat down at his desk, flipping through for any specific letters of interest. She saw one in Diana's writing and slipped it out of the pile, opening it right away.
"Dearest Jane,
Thank you for your letter. It was so wonderful to hear from you. Honestly, the house is so quiet these days it is wonderful to have a reminder of other life existing outside of ours.
Mary is doing about the same as when you saw her last- not well, but not as bad as she has previously been. She and Daniel do tolerably well with the nurse, though at times I can see that Mary still feels distant from her son in many ways. I suppose such is to be expected, given the nature of his conception, but I wish very much she could see past this and value him for who he is. Do not be hurt she does not respond to your letters. She is thrilled whenever they arrive but she simply cannot bring herself to reply. So, please do not stop your correspondence, even if it feels very one-sided, for it really does make a difference in her day.
I fear that the Captain is starting to feel the burden of Mary living with us. He has not said as much to me in words, but I can tell from observing him that he at times is frustrated by the general feeling her misery brings to the house. I appreciate he does not tell me directly, but it puts me in a difficult place of being stuck between a sister and a husband. My loyalty is to both of them, but my heart often wants all of the struggle in our life to go away. Last week the Captain's mother came to stay for a few days and she was clearly upset too, not just at the situation but that we were housing her. I cannot tell you how sad I felt at this revelation. But where else is Mary to go? I will not send her away, and nor will my husband, yet her being here is difficult for everyone. This situation feels hopeless and seeing as no man will ever marry her now, I do fear for hers and her sons future.
In spite of this all, I am glad to hear that Mr Rochester and little Henry are both well. I hope Mr Rochester is now over his illness. The whole situation sounded terrifying, and I cannot imagine how stressed you were. Then you have been running everything in the house since, which cannot have been easy. Still though, if someone was built for working through difficult things, it is you Jane.
Our Christmas is looking rather dull this year. I wish desperately that we could all be together like last year. I know people are married now and that situations are complicated by children, but it makes us all so happy when we can be in each others company. I think my husband is looking for some masculine company. Since his regiment left last month he has been rather contrary at moments, even though he quickly rallies. The Captain's parents were going to come and stay with us this year, but they suddenly got an invitation from Lady Grey in London. I half wonder, however, if they just did not wish to spend the holidays with us after seeing the state of poor Mary. I'm not sure I will ever have an answer to this question though- at least one which is honest.
Much love to you cousin,
Diana Franklin.
Jane spent a great amount of time thinking over the letter, which remained thoughtlessly suspended in the air in the way she had read it long after she had finished. Jane felt both disappointed and upset at its contents. She had truly hoped that Mary would have been doing better, that there would be even the smallest indication of her personal improvement, but no such news had come.
Knowing her cousin as she did, Jane thought over what she would do in order to encourage Mary to live her life more actively had she been responsible for her daily welfare. Outside of her current situation, Mary had always been task-orientated, better at going about her day when she had defined expectations for what she needed to do rather than a large number of different possibilities. Jane pondered that she would have probably implemented a schedule in which Mary had to complete certain tasks in a day, tasks that would need her involvement so that she was at least occupied and not left to her own thoughts throughout the day.
And yet, Jane reminded herself of how difficult it had been to motivate Mary when they stayed at the Franklin house. She was truly miserable out with other people, and when she was forced into an activity Jane always felt immensely guilty for doing so. The truth was that no one had the power to change how another person felt if they were not willing to feel it themselves, and perhaps Mary was the recipient of that pressure from others all of the time.
Jane was still considering all of this when her husband entered the room with Henry asleep in his arms. She looked up at him and smiled a little sadly, not able to muster a more genuine smile.
"What is it?" he asked immediately, sitting on the desk before his wife.
"It is this letter which arrived this morning"
She handed her husband the folded letter from her hand and took her son in exchange, playing with him until Edward finished reading the small, loopy black writing. He lowered the letter and looked at his wife rather seriously before responding.
"I do not know what to say to this, Jane" he said waving the letter weakly.
"I know. I have been sitting here for the better part of an hour thinking over it'.
He sighed deeply, scanning the letter once more.
"I would feel better if I could believe that Diana is prone to exaggeration, but I believe she may be even more practical than you, Jane. At least more rigid in her resolves. I know she is right when she says the Captain is unhappy".
Jane nodded, looking to the window, tears threatening to rise to her eyes.
"You know Edward, I could deal with everything else in that letter apart from Diana talking about how insurmountable and endless this problem is. She is absolutely right. Who will marry Mary now? The sad reality is that no one will. The situation of Mary living with the Captain and Diana is one that has no clear end, or an end at all. She cannot be thrown out into the streets, for such would be impossible, and the Captain, as frustrated as he became, would never allow that to pass. But at the same time, he has a right to his feelings. He is sharing his home with someone who is a reminder everyday of sadness and loss, and while he cannot change her feelings, it is a great deal to live with. What can be done?"
"But that is what family is Jane. If one cannot rely on their family, who can they rely on? While I do understand Franklin's feelings, he is responsible for his his wife's sister, no matter how difficult things become. If it was your sister Jane, no matter what happened to her, or no matter how much I wanted it, she would be welcomed here always".
"I know she would be welcomed here. But even if the situation was ideal in that way at the Franklin's, and Mary's presence was no imposition on them, it is just so unfair. Mary's whole life was taken away from her when that monster took advantage of her. Any chance of future happiness was torn from her, and instead she was promised a lonely life in which she must be dependant on her sister's husband. She did nothing to deserve that fate".
"No, she did not. But her whole life was not taken, Jane. I felt that way at one time, but if a person has people who love them, and they have their health, then they have hope for anything".
Jane looked up at him sitting before her and signed, recognising something she hasn't before.
"You are right. I guess I am just so frustrated with this situation it is hard for me to feel like there is hope in it".
"Jane, you are frustrated that Mary is not as happy as she deserves to be. There is nothing wrong with that. We will work this out together. But do not make yourself miserable in thinking over it too much. Mary is protected, well cared for, and perhaps all she needs is time"
Jane nodded.
"Would you feel better if we invited everyone here for Christmas?"
"Oh no" she said quickly, "No. I know that you did not like that last year very much, as gracious as you were about it all"
"I have had a change of heart"
"Have you indeed?"
"I have. I do not care, Jane, who is here for Christmas. I know it will set your heart at ease to see Diana and especially Mary again therefore it is important to me that they come. They are also family, and Christmas is a time for family"
"I know, but Edward" Jane said, playing with her fingers while trying to read his countenance, "You were not happy at Franklin's house when we stayed there. It was such an upheaval from your normal routine. I did not like seeing you so out of sorts"
"Exactly, because I was in another mans house. I did not have a refuge to go to besides a room which was foreign to me. The nights were long because of the entertainment resulting from the house party and we were both so tired with trying to care for Henry. Without that added pressure, I think I would have fared much better. But here, I could go about my daily routine, as could you, and we get the added advantage of seeing our family. Henry will be in his familiar environment, and we will not have to travel with him. To me, it seems like a very good solution. Better yet, Mary will be out of the house".
"But closer to Father Andrew"
"That has been a long time now, Jane. Perhaps it has all blown over in her mind"
"It has not been very long, mere months. I highly doubt such has happened. But I still think you are right. Seeing as he is the priest here, and she will be visiting us regardless or not of it being this Christmas, I think it a good thing for her to see him, and try to remain friendly".
"Good, then we have decided upon them visiting for Christmas?"
"Only if you are honest with me when you say you do not only do this for my sake. You and your happiness are more important to me than anything else in the world"
"It is not only for your sake" he said genuinely, "I promise you"
"Alright then" Jane said, "Then it is settled. I shall write this afternoon".
Edward stood from sitting on the desk and kissed his wife sweetly.
"There is another letter in that pile that may be of interest to you" Jane said, taking a letter written by Anne out of the bottom of the stack and handing it to her husband.
"What is this" he asked, opening it with his finger,
"I believe this is our dinner invitation to meet Ms Eshton's sister".