Hello all!

I hope you are keeping safe and happy during this time. I know how difficult things are, but I wish everyone the best, and that they are taking care of themselves.

Thank you for all the continued support, as always. It honestly is the motivator which keeps pushing me to write more. I love your comments. They really do make me so happy.

Much love, take care, more soon.

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Christmas morning dawned with all of the brilliance of the very best winter days. Melting frost on the bare branches of trees looked like glass as the light reflected off of it. The snow which covered the earth was pristine, untouched for as far as the eye could see. Colour was so void in the empty winter landscape that the vivid orange of the bright sun, still appearing as if it were rising, coloured the whole world in warm, welcoming light. Jane reflected on all of this on her window seat with Henry wrapped securely in her arms.

Peace.

It was the only thought that could possibly fill her mind as she sat there, taking in all the beauty of the endless world before her. Henry was nursing, and her husband slept soundly in bed, his slow and deep breathing a sign of his comfort. Had she thought about it before hand, Jane would have found a book to read while she sat perched on the window. Henry fed for longer these days, and in the early morning she had to pick an absolutely quiet activity as to not wake her husband. In the beginning when Henry had cried more frequently, often through the entire night, Jane and her husband took equal turns getting up to care for him. As Henry grew up, however, Jane fed him on her own so that Edward could sleep undisturbed. He had protested this at first, but as he really could do nothing to help and naturally required more sleep than his wife, this arrangement worked well.

It was Christmas, Jane thought warmly. She could scarcely believe that she had only known one real Christmas in her life. It was the most wonderful holiday- a celebration of family and love, so it made sense that before marrying Edward she had never experienced one. Although living at Moor house would have constituted a family Christmas it had been a shallow representation of the holiday with Diana and Mary working away and the night culminating in St John reading passages from the bible before Jane turned into bed. That night she lay grieving for the person she truly wished to be with above every other person in the world, tormented by the fact that she could not by any means reach him.

Jane wondered curiously, with the tiniest bit of sadness, what St John he was doing for his Christmas celebrations. No doubt giving one of his prepared, well practised sermons to those in need of hearing it and feeling proud for fulfilling his purpose. Diana and Mary, though having the full intent to, had given up on writing to him in India. He responded so infrequently, and with so little interest, that they became too frustrated with his passivity. Mary had made a fair point in mentioning that although he was surely busy, and halfway around the world, the genuine desire to keep loved ones in your heart was sufficient reason to respond to a letter you receive, no matter how long the response was. Jane disliked this quality in him. It exposed the trait which she disliked about his entire character. His vocational call was everything, and his bonds to his duties were stronger than his bonds to family and love. Jane struggled to imagine what her life would have been like had she agreed to travel with him as his assistant and nothing else. To have no purpose, and no drive- to possess no passion within herself for the things which were meant to inspire. He would have dictated everything, not with his words but with his cold, demanding, immovable manner which was as solid as rock. If she had agreed, she would have truly known what it was to be tramped on and kept from every bright thing in the world. Even now the prospect made her shudder.

Henry fussed suddenly, his face contorting as he sniffled back cries. One small noise escaped from him, but it was enough to wake his father who had become overly sensitive to the noises which meant his son was in need of something. He turned in bed quickly and searched for the source of the noise, his eyes landing upon his wife and son curled up in a blanket on the window seat.

"I'm sorry, darling" Jane said, "He was being so quiet"

Edward shook his head lazily,

"Why are you all the way over there?"

Jane stood up and gently handed their son to him. Edward placed him on his chest comfortably as Jane got back into the bed and cuddled into her husband, placing her hand on her sons back and rubbing him gently. Edward groaned with contentment, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. Jane thought to herself in that moment that he must be the most irresistible man in the world.

"What time is it?" he asked, his voice heavy with sleep.

"It is only just seven" she replied, "You should go and look at the sunrise. It is so beautiful this morning"

"Is it?" he asked, not listening to a word she said.

Jane smiled to herself and surrendered, laying her head back down on the bed.

She was a little cold without the majority of her body covered by the blanket, but Edward had moved some of the blankets on top of his son and to shift them now could risk waking him again. So, Jane focused on the warmth coming from her husband instead. It did not take long before thoughts started to blend in her mind, and her ability to finish a thought slowed until nothing more crossed her mind.

She woke up a few seconds, or a few minutes, later with a start when Henry coughed himself into a crying fit again. Jane rubbed her eyes groggily as one did when they only received a small amount of sleep and stirred, but Edward put his hand on the top of her head and kissed her temple.

"It's alright. Rest, love. Be asleep again when I return".

"Okay" Jane said, rolling over and pulling the blankets over herself. She thought she heard her husband chuckle but drifted off too quickly to know for sure.

. . .

She must have followed his orders because when Jane next woke she was aware she had fallen back asleep but could not remember readjusting within her husbands arms. He was sitting up, his back to the headboard as he read the newspaper which was extended far away from him so it did not brush his sleeping wife. Jane was resting in his lap, his free hand resting on her backside so that his arm cradled her as she rested her face against his chest. The blankets were still tightly wrapped around her, likely because she was unwilling to let go of them. She was exceptionally comfortable and thought of falling back asleep before Edward had caught sight of her eyes fluttering opened.

"Finally awake, are we?"

Jane groaned in disagreement

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes" she replied honestly, "I slept very well. What time is it now?"

"Nearly ten"

"Really!" Jane asked in surprise, sitting up quickly to face her husband,

"Yes, well after last night I thought it may be nice for people to have breakfast in their beds. No one seemed overly eager to rise. Besides, I have no desire for you to leave mine any time soon"

A grin.

"And Henry?"

"Asleep in his crib"

"Adele?"

"She slept in too, but now she is with Leah and the servants making spiced milk. It is a favourite of hers, apparently"

"Yes" Jane said, laying her head back down on her husbands chest and closing her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his waist. "Remember a few years ago when she drank too much of it and made herself sick? I hope she remembers that lesson"

Edward laughed, as much at Adele as his wife's still sleepy responses. It was unlike her to remain tired after she had woken up. He kissed her temple, holding her

"And what about you, Mr Rochester?"

"I am reading my newspaper here- very distracted, however, by my wife sleeping on me".

"Was I being too loud?"

"No" he grinned, "Just enticing enough to make me completely distracted".

Jane shook her head and sighed, pulling her head reluctantly from her husband. Her hair was rumpled and her face took longer than usual to respond. Edward laughed audibly, drawing her face to his by the chin and kissing her sweetly.

"I need to get up and dress" she said, rubbing his arm slowly but not quite being able to move. She put her chin on his shoulder and laughed,

"I do not think I can"

"No?" he asked, flipping her over so that she was straddling him. Jane wrapped her hands around his neck and he hugged her tightly, kissing her neck briefly.

"Do not dress yet. Have breakfast with me".

"Thank you for waiting" Jane said softly, appreciating that he must have been hungry, yet not enough to disturb her sleep.

Edward kissed her jaw and then her lips briefly.

"I will be back in a moment with it".

. . .

The morning passed into the afternoon with pleasant ease.

Shortly after they had eaten breakfast, Jane and Edward went downstairs with their son to find the others already congregated in the sitting room. Coming down with Henry meant that the others assumed they had been occupied with caring for him which alleviated Jane from feeling embarrassed she came down so late. As it turned out, however, the others had been late too, only arriving downstairs just before they did. It had been a late night and thus a slow morning, but the spirits of everyone were high as they played games, talked and drank with one another in honour of the occasion.

Edward, the Baron, and Mr Eshton stood in one corner talking. Jane smiled at the sight of Henry in Edward's arms- a great contrast to the drinks that the other two were holding in theirs. Georgiana and Anne sat in another corner with Adele who was showing them her new dress that she was given for Christmas while Mary and Diana talked with Lady Denver who, in spite of the circumstances, seemed rather contented. This left Jane talking with Captain Franklin who smelled strongly of wine, though he showed no traits of drunkenness. She wondered if he perhaps learned the skilful of drinking while he served in the navy.

"And how are your mother and father?" Jane asked, remembering them from Franklin's and Diana's wedding but asking the question more for the sake of politeness rather than genuine care. They had been cold unaffected people, not to her taste at all.

"Oh they are well enough. Mother is staying with her sister in London for the holidays while my father remains in the country. He enjoys winter shooting but my mother loathes the country in winter. After last night's storm I cannot say I blame her, the roads still appear to be a mess".

"From my window this morning I could not see one change in it, and certainly no sign of things becoming clearer today"

"No. Perhaps if we have rain tomorrow things shall become better"

They conversed in this way for several minutes before Jane caught Captain Franklin looking distracted, glancing over at his wife who was listening to Lady Denver, smiling at some story she was sharing. When he turned back Jane caught his eye and he looked guilty, as if being seen observing his wife was wrong.

He started but stopped, looking amused by himself.

"We had an argument last night" he said frankly, admitting to something that Jane was completely unaware of.

"Oh?"

"Yes" he said, "I am in trouble and need your help"

The slightly reluctant look on Jane's face amused Captain Franklin,

'I think that look is because you do not like talking about your own marriage and thus you feel it would be unfair to talk about another persons"

Jane smiled,

"How is it that you know that?"

"I once asked Diana a fairly broad question about you and Rochester when we were on the way to met you for the first time and she could not answer it. She explained you were very private and hardly spoke about your marriage. I was surprised because I always assumed that women shared everything with one another. Your husband is the exact same way, a real rarity for a man. I can say with certainty that he has never shared any one of your confidences".

Jane was not surprised at Captain Franklin's words. Edward took their marriage, and their bond as husband and wife, very seriously. Sacred, even. She was positive that whatever she told him would stay with him until the grave, and she kept all of his confidences in return. To share his feelings, worries, or thoughts with someone else for amusement, or simply for something to talk about, would be a betrayal, and that was something she was absolutely unwilling to do.

"Why is it such a rarity for men to keep their wives secrets?" Jane asked genuinely, slightly put off by the connotation that such was uncommon for husbands. Captain Franklin did not seem to notice, however, for he laughed at her.

"I do not know why. I suppose it is because husbands and wives do not always share everything with one another. That is what makes many marriages work. It is sometimes easier to talk to others about difficult things rather than your spouse, as wrong as that perhaps is. I do not believe that such is right, and as a rule of thumb I do not engage with such, but I am only human. You should hear the men in the navy. The things they willing admit are shameful".

"If such is true I pity their wives"

"Well the beauty of it is that out at sea they are sure to never find out about it, thus it is impossible to break their trust"

Jane rather liked Captain Franklin, but at times such as these she found him to be, on some points at least, frustrating. Though very well natured overall, and very willing to help in any way he could, he was less forward thinking than either Mr Eshton or Edward who were older, more mature, and more accustomed with the world. Though comparisons were perhaps unfair, Jane was married to Edward Rochester who displayed what men held to a high standard of behaviour looked like. The man sitting across from her now had always held the smallest, almost undetectable, amount of the belief that because men were more accustomed to the world, they always knew best.

"Your wife is disappointed with me" Franklin said suddenly, catching Jane off guard. "Tell me why, Ms Rochester. I value your opinion greatly".

At that moment Edward sat down next to his wife, still holding their sleeping son. He joined the conversation easily and naturally by saying nothing, only putting his arm along the back of the couch behind his wife and listening with curiosity.

"I do not believe that because a spouse is not present to hear, the effects of a betrayal cannot be felt. Perhaps it is not immediate, but if a man speaks of private matters regarding his wife on the sea, is he not equally likely to do it filled with drink, or perhaps sitting in a smoking parlour?"

"Well" Franklin began slowly, "Not always. It is perhaps a culture unique to ships"

"And yet, did you not tell me that it is done by husbands everywhere?"

Edward grinned ever so slightly.

Captain Franklin sighed in seeming defeat and then smiled.

"Yes, Ms Rochester. But answer me this. If women are allowed to talk to other women about their husbands why can men not talk to other men about their wives. That would be fair, would it not?"

Jane paused for a moment, thinking.

"It would be, though the path to reaching equality is vastly different for women and men. Women have more of a reason to do such".

"How so?"

"I fear I speak generally, for of course not all men and women are alike, and no two marriages are the same, but women usually enter marriages in a far more vulnerable position than their husbands. Because we are limited in our work, ability to travel, and even what we can read, we do not have the same opportunity to know what exists in the world around us. The things which men are taught as young boys and share throughout their adolescence are the things women are intentionally kept from, so that a lack of knowledge makes them dependant on their husband's guidance. When a woman is forced to marry for the sake of rank, position, or fortune, she must be guided by a person who is often no more intimate to her than a stranger. So where can she turn for answers? For reassurance? Mostly, I think, she turns to her friends and having her concerns and fears reassured through another person experiencing the same thing is comforting. Women do not speak about their husbands for the same reason husbands seem to talk about their wives. It is not for amusement, nor entertainment, nor to show off some private part of marriage for attention, rather it is so she does not feel lost and insignificant".

Captain Franklin looked thoughtfully at her, and Jane knew he wished he had a faster response for her, but he did not. He started and stopped several times before finally saying something.

"Men are taught to guide their wives. It is our primary role as men to protect. But I understand what you say about not having equal opportunities before entering, or even after, marriage. I never thought of it in such plain terms, though I suppose it is true that my sister did not read the books we did, nor could she stay up as late as us during dinner parties. I never considered such was true for her though, for she never uttered a word on the subject",

He sighed, and looked directly into Jane's eyes.

"I promise that I did not ask for your help in my marriage with Diana because I wished to exploit her confidences because we fought- yes Rochester, we fought" he said, filling him in and rolling his eyes in frustration, "It is because I know she tells you much of our marriage and she asked me to speak to you in order to understand what I did. She said you have a way of explaining such things in a way I could understand".

Jane nodded,

"Of course, Captain. I know that such could never be any malice in your intention. If I can help you, I would be happy to"

"Well, last night me and Diana were getting ready for bed" he said lowly so that the others in the room would not hear him, "And I casually mentioned that we are nearing our first year of marriage and there has been no sign of a child yet. I did not say such to cause trouble, nor to upset my wife, but she instantly turned very cold with me and got into bed without saying another word. I spent the next half an hour trying to coax an explanation for her behaviour out of her, and finally she turned on me and snapped. She called me insensitive and refused to say any more".

Jane thought she may have understood Diana's feelings. With Anne being so close to her due date there had been much conversation about another baby coming, and Diana was not as excited as she normally was at the prospect of a child. Jane wondered if she had felt the smallest bit of jealousy, but had not wished to ask her directly. This felt like proof, however. More than the others Diana had wanted a baby directly after getting married. She had wanted to settle down and start having children so that she could have a large family while she was still young. But not everything had gone to plan. Jane knew that she and Captain Franklin shared their bed fairly often with one another, Diana telling Jane once that if that was what it took to create a child she would do it. But then nothing had come of such a arrangement. It must have been incredibly frustrating. Perhaps it would never be a possibility for her...

The thought made Jane's stomach twist uncomfortably.

Captain Franklin watched Jane expectantly as she thought, and then relaxed back into his chair when she spoke.

"It seems like a simple miscommunication of expectation, Captain. Making a comment about not having a child, not even the prospect of one, perhaps made Diana feel that is an expectation you have for her that she is not living up to"

"But I have never said as much to her".

"No. And yet she knows that is her job as your wife to give you a child. In not having giving you that yet, she probably feels as if she has already failed you"

"That is absurd. I would never demand that of her"

Jane smiled with understanding,

"That is why this is just a misunderstanding between you two. I think that telling Diana in the most honest way possible that you do not expect her to have a baby right now will free her from feeling guilty she has not given you one. Then you can have a more opened and honest relationship"

The Captain nodded and then looked to Edward expectantly.

"You spoke of needing to protect your wife as her husband, Franklin, but emotional protection is just as important in a marriage as physical protection" he said, dropping his hand from the back of the couch and placing it onto his wife's shoulder, "And much harder"

Franklin's face lightened and he grinned,

"Well you know very well Rochester that I would have no problem running a man through if he so much as touched-" he stopped abruptly, looking at Jane. "Well anyways. Thank you, Ms Rochester. Your insights are more helpful than you know".

"Of course".

He looked thoughtful for a few moments before he sighed and shrugged,

"I do not know why she worries so much. I wish she would not. Women can be so frustrating at times-"

"Franklin" Edward said quickly, "I am almost positive you are far more frustrating to Diana than she could ever be to you. You need to be set straight somehow"

Captain Franklin laughed heartily at his friends accusations, agreeing with them as he coughed back his laughter.

"What was it my father used to say to me? Cannot live with a woman, nor without her".

Although Jane was aware that the majority of people spoke of men and women as different beings, she was no longer used to hearing it enunciated in such a blunt way. She saw herself as fully equal to a man in every sense and her husband agreed both in word and action, so hearing the Captain talk about such stark differences made her feel a little foolish, as if she had forgotten her household was a bubble of equality in a sea of difference.

The conversation lightened as Jane reflected quietly to herself so that by the time she was brought back to her senses Edward and Franklin were immersed in other engaging conversation. This gave her the opportunity to look around the room at the other discussions going on around her. There was nothing particularly noteworthy happening, though it interested her none the less to see everyone interacting. Adele was looking at Georgiana who had lifted up the very bottom of her skirt to show her the elaborately sewn petticoat beneath. Anne looked on too with interest, asking some unheard question. Beside this group the Baron was still talking to Eshton at the fireplace, the drinks that were not long ago filled now drained. On the other side of the room was Diana and Mary who still were engaged with Lady Denver. Captain Franklin looked up at the same moment his wife did and caught her eye.

"Excuse me" he said quickly to his company, bowing his head and standing up to meet his wife. Jane watched until they reunited in the middle of the room and then walked to the furthest corner to speak amongst themselves.

"If only he knew that to solve the majority of marital problems all one needs to do is speak to their spouse" Edward said lowly.

"Such comes naturally to you" Jane said fairly, "To him it does not".

She paused.

"When did they have their fight?" Edward asked curiously,

"Last night, apparently. Just before bed".

"Though the emotions behind the fight have clearly been brewing for some time".

"Mmm" Jane agreed, "I think from the morning after they became wed"

Edward nodded in understanding, his intuition never faltering.

"At any rate, I have a feeling that this will not be a difficult argument to resolve. It is within peoples natures to wish to forgive rather than carry on a fight unnecessarily" he said, looking to Diana who was gazing her husband with more admiration than Jane thought it was possible to display on a face. She smiled to herself, and Edward looked down at her thoughtfully.

"Does it bother you that Franklin and Eshton come to you for assistance with their wives?"

"No, it does not. Perhaps it would if their marriages was closer to ours, but both parties talk about their spouses openly so I do not feel like I am intruding on something I should not be privy to. But I do wonder why they ask me"

"Because you are warm and approachable. They find you to be straightforward and honest, which of course you are. It was one of your traits which struck me instantly upon us meeting. You possess the rare gift of telling something with ease and truth, even if it is hard".

"Hm" Jane considered somewhat sceptically, deciding it was more likely that it was not a gift of hers, rather a trait that she had more than the others displayed. After a few moments of silence Jane smiled up at her husband in appreciation of the compliment. He rubbed her shoulder affectionately, the gesture natural and easy as he looked around the room.

"How content everyone is" he said thoughtfully, "Had this been a Christmas in my house when I was growing up my father would by now have been drunk, barking orders to the servants left and right and barking orders to thin air just to occupy himself. My mother would have been hiding, surely, keeping a distance from her family so she did not need to display any maternal feelings. My brother, shallow as he was with anything material he was given, would have been playing with some new toy he wished to keep all to himself"

"And what would you have been doing?"

"Keeping well out of the way" he smiled, "Most likely in a corner, trying to read or do some other activity which kept me from being noticed. Pining after my brothers toy, or what it represented, because I knew I would never be thought of in that way, as a child worthy of love-"

"That is not amusing, Edward" Jane said seriously, "I cannot stand the thoughts of you lonely as a child".

"You were walled up in a prison without enough food and warmth" he responded flatly, with the same resentment that was always in his voice when he mentioned her childhood, "It is not even close to the same thing".

"I do not think it can be a competition"

He played with her fingers laced comfortably through his.

"No of course not. You would win by strides. But it does not matter for another reason. You would not be my Jane had you not gone through such".

"And I have a feeling that had you been spoiled like your brother, made to feel superior for no legitimate reason, I would have found you rather intolerable".

Edward laughed and nodded.

"I would not love you if things were any other way".

Lady Denver lifted her head up at that moment in search of Jane or her husband and when she landed on them sitting together she lifted up her finger in acknowledgement.

"You have raised a smart girl here" she said, pointing to Adele who was sitting at her side. Jane smiled brightly, nodding in acknowledgement.

"Thank you"

"She tells me you had much to do with instilling a desire for education in her. Congratulations for such. Young girls should be educated and if it can at all be helped, they should like it".

"If every young person in the world had Jane as their governess, they would"

Jane looked at her husband, trying to scold him with a look but he only smiled warmly at her.

"Is it possible to have more tea?" Lady Denver asked, and instantly Leah was at her side, arriving with a new tray filled with milk, sugar and biscuits. While she was fussing with the tray Jane watched Adele, feeling so much love and affection for the little girl she had grown into. She as much to her husband, who nodded in agreement.

"Remember when you first arrived Jane? How much change I found in little Adele in only two months"

"She was just unfocused and given too much free time before. As soon as we began a schedule and routine that she was used to, she gave into the studies and learned quite a lot. Such has only matured with her age".

Jane glanced back at Adele who at that moment spilled a full glass of spiced milk all down her front,

"And in other ways..." Jane said, "maturity as not quite caught up with her"

Edward shook his head in amusement as Jane stood up and walked over to Adele.

"My new dress!" she fussed,

"Come on Adele, let us get you cleaned up. Excuse us for a moment"

And with that, Jane rounded the corner out of the room, Adele at her side.