Hello all,

I am a little late but I wanted to wish everyone happy holidays and happy new year. 2020 was a very strange and difficult year, and I truly want to wish all of you much happiness in the coming days. I think the whole world is looking a little sunnier.

I hope you enjoy this chapter, I have another one on the way very soon.

Much love!

xoxo

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The doctor could not come for several hours, so Jane and Edward spent their morning and then their afternoon in each other's company, speculating about the future while they waited for their future to be confirmed.

It was such a wonderful thing to be able to look forward to the coming days for a new and beautiful reason. Jane knew better than to take this ability for granted, for so much of her life had been looking towards a future which was uncertain and grim with no chance of fortune. And yet here she was, with every possibility of good things before her. She could not help but touch her stomach, secretly addressing the child she hoped was safe there. She wanted to tell them how much they were already loved, how hard she would work to keep them happy and safe. She wanted to tell them of their father, brother, and sister, and how they would be a family together. So much anticipation burned at the back of her mind that it was difficult to keep her expectations at bay. Her husband was no help with tempering this, for he speculated with just as much excitement and hope as his wife.

It was evening when a servant informed the Rochesters that the doctor had arrived. Not a minute after this, there was a sharp series of confident knocks on the door before a man, not a stranger and yet not familiar, walked through the door. To Jane's great surprise she found that the doctor who had come was not the arrogant and dismissive one she had seen during her pregnancy with Henry, rather he was the older and kinder one she had seen in London the first time she was pregnant and had lost the baby.

"Hello Mr Rocester, Ms Rochester" he said warmly, saddling through the door somewhat awkwardly and approaching quickly. He shook Edward's hand and bowed to Jane before swinging his bag in front of him.

"I hear that I am to confirm a suspicion for you"

"Yes" Jane replied, still somewhat surprised "I suspect that I am pregnant"

"I find that women are usually correct when they guess such" he said easily, starting to rummage in the bag, "They are much more instinctional than men, in my medical opinion"

Jane grinned and the doctor turned to Edward to gauge his reaction.

"Well I can see you agree with me, Mr Rochester. When I say such in front of most men they tend to be put off by the idea".

"I have lived in this world long enough, doctor, to know such is a fact".

The doctor chuckled to himself, laying his bag on the ground with all of the familiarity of someone who had done this many times before.

"Now, Ms Rochester, I am afraid I will have to do a rather invasive examination of you. It is not the most pleasant thing in the world but it will be over quickly, I assure you".

"Very well, doctor"

"And is your husband allowed to remain in the room while I do so?"

"Of course" she responded quickly, thinking to herself that if the doctor was about to look up her skirt then surely her husband being there could not prove to be a problem. She felt a warm hand close around her shoulder.

The doctor raised his eyebrows.

"You would be surprised at the answers I have received over the years, Ms Rochester. Now if you will just lie back on the bed, I will take a look and hopefully have good news for you".

. . .

In truth the examination did not take very long, but it was somewhat uncomfortable. When the doctor finally drew back and told her she could sit up, Jane did not hesitate to do so. He dropped his instruments back into his bag before turning back and smiling.

"You are as healthy as you are instinctive, Ms Rochester. You are indeed with child".

Jane turned quickly to look at her husband beside her who was beaming.

"And how is the baby?" she asked.

"Seemingly as healthy as the mother" he replied confidently.

Jane tried very hard to bite back a grin which she knew would betray how ridiculously happy she felt.

"Do you know how far along Jane is, doctor?"

"Oh, it is difficult to say. My guess- and this is only a guess- would be about four months"

"Four months?" Jane said in surprise, "How can that be? I am hardly showing at all"

"Were you large by four months the last time?" he asked curiously,

"She was large at two" Edward replied, amused.

"Well, pregnancies can be very different and often are. I imagine you have been experiencing little, or very minor, symptoms so far in comparison to the last time?"

"Yes. I have felt very well overall. Apart from these marks on my stomach I found this morning, I would never have suspected a thing"

"Such is good!" the doctor said, "Then the possibility of complication is at present seemingly very low".

"Could this change?" Edward asked with a sudden concern in his voice which pulled painfully at Jane's elated heart. She knew that he also thought of their lost child.

"It could..." the doctor started, "Though I would be surprised if such was the case. Most women experience the most serious complications in the first months of pregnancy after which their symptoms begin to subside".

Jane felt a reassuring hand at her back.

"Do you have any other questions for me?"

"Well..." Jane began, feeling slightly embarrassed, "In truth, doctor, I did not think it was possible to become pregnant while my son is so young. He is only nine months old".

"It is uncommon...but not impossible. Sometimes intimacy only needs to happen once and a baby is the result. More commonly, pregnancy simply becomes more likely through the repetition of intimacy".

Jane felt her cheeks suddenly burn and prayed a sincere prayer that such did not show on her face.

"Well, if that is all the questions you have for me I must be off. There is a housecall in the neighbourhood I promised to make and I am afraid it is time sensitive".

"Of course" Edward said quickly, stepping out from behind his wife, "I will walk you to the door"

"That is quite alright, that is quite alright" he said, picking up his bag and waving his hat in the air, "I know my own way out and I am sure you want to celebrate with your wife here. I am sure I will be seeing you again soon, Ms Rochester".

"Yes, thank you very much doctor"

"My pleasure" he said, reaching the door.

It opened and then closed, the doctor vanishing on the other side. When Edward turned, Jane saw that rare smile of his that she loved so much flash across his face. The sunshine of feeling- the eternal reassurance and love it promised. For a moment the depth of his emotion staggered her.

"Come here" he said, walking over to her and wrapping his arms around her.

He held her for a long moment with all of the intimacy Jane was capeable of feeling. His large hands on her back felt like he had enclosed her entirely in his love and his protection. His warmth too spread through her, moving to the tips of her fingers and toes. When he drew back to look at her he kissed her mouth, parting her lips sensually with his tongue and enclosing her in a deep kiss.

When they broke apart he smiled at her, his thumb brushing her cheek.

"You are blushing".

"Am I?" she asked.

Her husband smiled in his knowing, wise way.

"Well my darling" he started slowly, "Perhaps we should just be thankful you did not become pregnant 9 months ago".

Jane bit her lip but quickly dissolved laughter as her husband kissed her forehead. As they stood in silence for a moment Jane could feel her husband become more serious as he buried his face in her hair.

"Thank you."

She breathed, trying to frame her feelings in the right way.

"You showed me what family is. How could I ever repay you for that?".

"You say such as if you did not show me the exact same thing" he said, kissing her wrist.

But Jane paused, sighing.

"I never thought that I would be loved by a person in the way you love me-"

His large, warm hand caressed her face before his fingers pulled a piece of hair back into place on her head.

"-And I love you, more than I could ever say"

Edward smiled his own unique smile before kissing his wife again.

"I know"

. . .

Jane woke early the next morning. She could see immediately through the break in the curtains that the sun had risen, but only just. The room was bathed in warm, glowing, orange light that covered everything, making life more beautiful then perhaps it would look at any other time of day. In truth, the current hour was much earlier than Jane had been waking up as of late, but she had taken too long looking at the sunrise and her senses were now full of energy which kept her wide awake. She stretched as much as she could in her husband's arms, smiling as she thought of the child growing within her. She flipped back the sheets and pulled up her nightdress, seeing if the marks were darker than they had been the day before. It was impossible to tell, but she now had the desire to know every moment of the day that the baby was healthy and growing. She dropped her nightdress and turned to face her husband who was fast asleep, his breathing peaceful and calm- the most reassuring sound in the world. Thinking her best chance of falling back asleep was Edward's arms, she lifted them so she could crawl into his embrace. Sleepily, he stirred as she nestled into his frame but he did not wake up.

An hour more passed of attempting to fall back asleep before Jane rose and dressed as quietly as possible. After such, she went to check on her son who was still sleeping in his crib next door. As much as she wanted to pick him up, hold him, and love him, she knew that to do such might ensure he would not sleep again, and as a result he would fuss all day. So, instead, she pulled a chair up beside him and watched him for a little while through the rungs, thinking over the fact that he soon would have a brother or sister in his life. Not only a year old and he would grow up with a sibling, with a companion, which was more than Jane had ever known. Edward had known a brother, but found neither friend or companion in him. The thought of being able to prevent this loneliness in their own children proved a comfort to Jane, and was one of the many small ways she hoped to show their children the love she had never known in childhood. At the same time, she wondered about how the time spent between her children would play out. It was foolish to pretend such a thing could be planned out and executed, but she also did not want her children to ever feel neglected for any reason. Perhaps it would not matter much now, not when they were so young, but as they got older- old enough to understand why their mother and father were too busy with other children to play with them- it would surely matter a great deal.

Jane amused herself with her open-ended phrase "other children". How many was she planning on having in her life? In truth, she had not considered it much. God would be the judge of their fortune when it came to family, for he had blessed them with so much already, and she would be content with his choices. Still, the thoughts of giving her husband children, of growing their family, and of caring for the children in the best way she could was something Jane could see herself doing with the utmost happiness for the rest of her life.

Jane stayed with Henry for a while longer before rising, kissing his head softly, and leaving the room without a sound. As she reentered her own she saw her husband spread out over the bed in an uncharacteristic way. Smiling, she knelt on the bed and crawled over to him, kissing his lips gently. When he did not wake straight away Jane kissed his neck and his jaw before landing back again on his lips. This time he stirred, but did not open his eyes,

"Edward?"

"Mmm" he grumbled sleepily,

"I am going on a walk"

"Mmm" he grumbled again,

Jane brushed back his curls and kissed his forehead.

"Darling?"

"Hm?"

"I am going on a walk"

This time her words seemed to register with him, for he opened his eyes and blinked back the sunrises' bright beams pouring through the window.

"No, come back to bed with me"

'I wish" he said, kidding his hand, "But I cannot sleep"

"Are you alright?"

"Very. But I am full of energy and cannot rest"

"Then I shall walk with you"

He flipped back the blankets but Jane covered him again.

"No, you shall sleep. I know you tossed and turned last night after getting into bed".

"I do not mind though, darling. It is early for a walk on your own"

"And yet I do not mind it"

Edward nodded knowingly, seeing her resolve.

"And-" she continued, "Knowing you and Henry are here will give me something to look forward to when I return. Shall I bring him into you now?"

"Is he awake?"

"No"

"Then leave him. I shall go and retrieve him once he has woken up".

"Thank you"

"Of course. Enjoy your walk".

Jane kissed him once more before standing and departing, closing the door behind her quietly.

. . .

The house was very quiet this time of the morning. The servants who were the earliest to rise had already lit fires in the largest rooms and were continuing to do so along the corridors and in the smaller rooms. Jane wished each person she saw good morning, speaking briefly to all of them. Descending down the steps and arriving in the foyer, she saw John and paused for a moment to observe him. He was leaning his weight upon a table, looking tired and old as he caught his breath which was somewhat heavy and laboured.

"Good morning John"

He stood quickly and turned, straightening up with a pride that Jane had long learned was more important to him than anything else.

"Good morning, miss. You have had an early rise"

"Indeed. I am afraid that I could not fall back asleep"

"Then you are headed out for a walk?" he guessed.

"Yes" Jane smiled, pulling on her cloak, "I thought it may do me some good. The morning looks so beautiful"

"Well, I wish you a pleasant walk" he said, adding quickly as he turned, "-And, I wanted to congratulate you on your upcoming second child, miss. You and Mr Edward are sure to be very happy".

"Thank you John. We are indeed very happy. I cannot quite believe it myself".

"Well, you shall. There will be much to keep you busy with two youngsters, especially so close in age".

Jane sighed,

"I am sure you are quite right. Though if I begin to think over such things, I am not sure I would ever make it through my second pregnancy"

He laughed,

"Well have a good walk, miss. I will see you when you return".

"Thank you. And please say good morning to Leah if you see her before I do".

. . .

It was warmer outside than it had looked from the windows of the house which were frosty in the dawn's glow. As soon as Jane began walking around the gardens it became clear that she would not need all the winter clothes she had worn, so she removed her gloves and walked a little slower, enjoying looking at everything she passed. One of the servants had told her of a spot behind the house where a creek had frozen over, and a waterfall of ice had been created as a result. She wanted to see it, but it was somewhat tucked away and she had to debate for a moment whether or not it was worth it. Part of being married and being a mother was that Jane's time was no longer her own. The moments she had to herself were now only possible because Edward was willing to care for Henry while she was gone. Right now, however, it was still early and she imagined both would be asleep for some time.

Arriving at the creek, Jane walked up and down its length several times, searching for what had been described by the servants. Sticks which would be covered in greenery in spring and summer were still barren and covered in ice, cracking underfoot as Jane moved over them. The surrounding trees were covered in a light layer of powdery snow that fell from them and dissolved into the air as birds landed on them or gusts of wind blew through them. The stream which ran through the creek was trickled through patches of ice, leaving a mirror-like surface on the water. The beauty of it all filled Jane's senses. The air was crisper, and the smells were fresher. If the surrounding rocks had been dry she would have liked to sit for a while and simply observe, yet there was nowhere not covered in a thin layer of melting ice. In spite of her walking she also did not see the frozen waterfall, most likely due to the warmth of the morning. So, after what must have been close to two hours of walking, Jane decided to return to the house to see her family and to eat some breakfast.

Unlike her first pregnancy, Jane felt quite well in the mornings. With Henry, she was barely able to stomach food, yet with this child she was free to eat what she liked, whenever she liked. She did not wish to become too optimistic, nor did she wish to anticipate what could not be known, yet she was hopeful that this pregnancy would continue to be much easier than her last. Already four months along, she could hardly believe how easy and comfortable life had been. It had been so easy that she had not even suspected her condition until her stomach revealed the truth to her. A pride that she could not explain washed over her as she thought of her husband, and the baby they had created together without even realising it. She loved him so much- truly loved him. And it was not for any shallow reason, nor any selfish reason, but because he had loved her and supported her in ways she did not even know were possible. He comforted her, cherished her, challenged her, and stimulated her into continual contentment. And yet it was much more than contentment so much of the time.

Thoughts of Edward Rochester were gentle on Jane's mind the whole walk home. She was almost to the point of excitement when she climbed her front steps and pushed opened the large oak doors. But the silence that hit Jane when she stepped inside was unprecedented in her house and instantly shattered all of the happiness that had been swelling inside her. The atmosphere was deathly- like one could hear a pin drop from the other side of the house. It made her stop in her tracks, and innate panic began to threaten her, pulsing in the pit of her stomach. She threw off her cloak and layed it over a bench as she went to check on the only people currently on her mind, but as she walked she saw one of the servant girls in an adjacent room crying into a dirty cloth in her hands. Jane turned quickly and approached her, placing a hand on her shoulder and offering her a clean cloth from her own pocket.

"Anna, what has happened here?"

"Oh miss" she said in surprise, bunching the tissue in her hand, "Have you only returned from your walk now?"

"Yes" she replied quickly, "What has happened?"

There was a short, empty pause.

"It is John. He is dead"

"John?" Jane repeated in disbelief, her stomach dropping miles and making her feel sick. "But I just spoke to him, right before my walk-".

"He collapsed downstairs shortly after. The doctor was called but there was nothing he could do to help and... he died, just like that. In front of us all".

Jane stammered a moment, fighting back the emotion threatening to overtake her. She did not need to say more however, for Anna continued to speak without being asked.

"It has been a shock, miss. A huge shock. Mr Rochester has given us all the day off, though some of us would like to continue to work, you know, to keep our minds off of- of-"

She unfurled her tissue again and dabbed her now streaming eyes. Jane rubbed her shoulder where her hand still rested but she could not bring herself to say anything. She could only muster a meaningful look at Anna before she left the room.

How? How could she speak about a death which she could not believe- would not believe. John had looked old and weak when they had spoken but he had looked like that for as long as Jane had known him. Should she have suspected that this morning was different? Maybe if she had only kept him talking a little longer...maybe something would have been different.

Jane arrived at her bedroom blindly, not registering where she was until she came up short trying to push open the heavy doors. She was not willing to believe what she had heard until it came from her husband. But with one look at him, she knew that she did not need to hear the words spoken aloud. He sat in his arm chair in front of the fire with Henry between his feet playing with small fabric animals which had so occupied him as of late. Edward, however, stared into the fire with an empty expression. He did not look up when the door had opened, nor when Jane approached. It was only when she reached him, tears swelling in her eyes, that he glanced her way. They exchanged a meaningful look before Edward nodded and Jane involuntarily bit her lip, failing to hold back the tears which had been pooling in her eyes. She sat down next to her son on the floor, leaning against her husband's legs and laying her head on his knee. Henry reached for her but she only extended her finger so that he could grab it as he pulled lightly. A comforting hand stroked her hair and she closed her eyes, feeling the aching in her heart multiply ten fold.

. . .

The day was a horrible one.

The Rochester's spoke to the servants again at the end of the day to check in with them all and to ask about their ability to return to work. Clearly some, mostly those who had known John from the days at Thornfield Hall, were more affected by his death than others but all were willing to return to work the following day.

After this, the Rochester's spoke to Leah together. For the first time in her life, Jane found herself truly and utterly speechless in her presence. The grief of losing her life partner was evident, and Jane could not muster any words of comfort. Her husband, however, spoke with warmth and empathy regarding John, whom he had known from the time he was a boy, and assured Leah that his respectful and reserved presence would leave the house forever changed. In turn, Leah had thanked them both for their kindness towards them in their old age, acknowledging that many masters would have simply dismissed two old servants when they moved house in favour of younger and more capeable help. Edward had assured her that there were no two people that they would have chosen.

"And Leah" Mr Rochester had said, his tone gentle, "Please know that you will always be taken care of here. I once offered your husband a cottage on the corner of this estate for you both which he declined, but if you find you wish to have some time to yourself, and that work is no longer how you wish to spend your time, you will never be in want for anything. I made that promise to your husband and I intend to keep it".

Leah had paused for a long time after this.

"Thank you, Mr Rochester. I suspect that I will not wish to work without John-"

But emotion choked the rest of her sentence.

"I will stay on long enough to train the next girl. With your approval, Jane, I believe it should be Jenny. Though she is young she is more than capeable, and I know you both are less interested in what people say than what is right. Once she is settled, I believe I should like to spend my last years in peace. I have a sister who lives not far away. She lost her husband too. Time spent with her will be comfortable, I should think".

The Rochesters agreed, assuring her that if she wished to go see her sister, or even wished her sister to come to her, it could be arranged in a moment.

With this, they departed from her room and returned to their own, Jane leaving Edward to go into the nursury to see Henry. Jenny was standing in the middle of the room with their son, his eyes giving away that he was clearly not tired yet but also not discontent either. When she heard the door Jenny turned and smiled almost guiltily at Jane.

"I'm sorry. I could not get him down. I thought such would be a help to you, especially after today".

Jane smiled appreciatively.

"Thank you, Jenny. But it is quite alright. He slept late today so I thought he may be harder to get down tonight. I appreciate you watching him".

"Of course, miss".

She paused, looking at Jane intensely for a moment.

"And how are you, miss?"

"Well enough" Jane assured, "Though saddened and shocked and unsure of what to do with myself".

Jenny smiled in her kind way,

"I know. Both you and the master looked rather lost today".

And of course, she was right. Jane had been completely devestated by the day, but what was more important to her was how shaken Edward was. Jane had barely said two words to him all day outside of with Leah and the servants, and he had done something she had never seen before- he had retreated into himself. Jane had always known her husband to be expressive with his emotions, to share freely and more easily than most people could. And yet today he was quiet and reserved, hardened and unresponsive to his wife. She tried to not worry, for of course she assumed his behavior was the result of someone he had known since birth dying unexpectantly without time to say goodbye. Still, a knot in the pit of Jane's stomach told her that wasn't all there was to be concerened with.

Almost an hour later Jane left the nursury after having finally put Henry to sleep. It was still early, and she was eager to talk to her husband before bed, so she could sleep knowing what had transpired between them during the day. When she opened the bedroom door, however, she found a sight she never expected. Edward was in the middle of the bed fast asleep. Glancing at her clock again to check the hour she sighed. It was still early, and he never slept before seeing her.

As she undressed Jane repremanded herself for her thoughts. Of course he was sleeping. The day had exhuasted him as much as her. It was completely selfish to hope that he would have remained awake to talk to her when she had not mentioned wanting to do such with him. There would be time to talk in the morning, surely. So, when she climbed into bed, she lifted up her husbands arm and moved into his embrace. When she woke the following morning, however, for the first time since their marriage began she found herself cold in the same bed as him, having been disentangled from his arms during the night.