Hello all,

Thank you SO much for your lovely and encouraging comments on my last chapter. Your messages really are the things which continue to inspire me to write.

I hope you enjoy, and more to come very soon!

xoxo

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The next day Jane found herself at a loss with her husband. For the first time since she had known him he had retreated into himself and as a result was distant with her. Although he had tried to hide it, Jane could tell that he avoided talking with her at length or remaining in her presence for too long. When Jane had asked him about this sudden change in behaviour he had promised her that he was only consumed with trying to sort out the new head of the household staff, yet she could not accept this was all there was, for she had never taken a backseat to matters of the house before.

At lunch, in spite of the fact that both ate little, it was a very quiet meal. Jane had tried to initiate conversation, but with the one or two word answers she recieved, she was not encouraged to continue. She stared at him, his thoughts so consuming that he did not notice her attentions nor how she absentmindidly dragged her fork along her food. Sitting in silence, she tried to work out what was happening inside her husband's head. He was not an insecure man, nor was he a vain or selfish one. His family was well, as were his friends. John's death had shaken him but he had composed himself so well while talking to Leah and their servants. What if he knew something terrible that she did not? She was so worried for a moment that she thought of reaching out and demanding of him that he must tell her his thoughts. But with this moment of slight panic Jane stoped herself, having long since learned that making assumptions was not fair, especially in a marriage. The only way to know what he thought and felt was to hear it directly from him. People, after all, had to be given the time to process their emotions. In the best circumstances this happened without the fear of judgement, or misunderstanding. So, she compelled herself to be patient with him, for it was a rare moment where he did not confide in her.

At the same time, Jane was still frustrated by her husbands seeming insistance that she must be keep in the dark. If he had been honest with her, she could have coped better with his coldness. As it was, Jane's general low energy made the situation more difficult to bare than she was sure it would otherwise be. Whether because of her pregnancy, Henry's teething, or because of how the house felt after the death of George, Jane found herself to be drained of almost all her resolve. Besides, taking care of Henry took presedence over everything else, and she would not pine after her husbands attention, or an apology from him. She knew that once he had sorted out his feelings, he would come back to her. As it was, she wondered if he even understood himself at present.

Still mulling over her thoughts, Edward stood from the table, kissed the top of her head quickly, and left the room without a word.

. . .

This uncomfortable feeling of listlessness intensified in the afternoon as Jane played with her son on the floor of her bedroom, stacking blocks with him and watching him happily send them topling to the ground. There was a sudden knock at the door and Jenny entered holding two dreses out at arms length.

"Now miss, I suppose we ought to get you changed. I thought these dresses might be suitable for you. They are the only ones which really fit you at present"

"Changed?" Jane said in confusion, looking up from Henry, "For what?"

"For your tea this afternoon, miss"

"Oh" she said, feeling foolish as she closed her eyes and comprehension dawned upon her. "Of course. Tea at the Eshton's. I forgot entirely"

"You would not be the first mother to do so" Jenny mused, laying the dresses out on the bed.

"I suppose it is because of everything that has happened in the house recently. My mind has just been so distracted".

"Should I ask one of the servants to send a message saying you will not be able to attend? I am sure Ms Eshton would understand".

Jane was sure that Jenny was right and that Anne would be forgiving if she wrote saying she could not come. In truth, she was very tempted to simply remain at home, but Anne was due to give birth any day and Jane knew that part of why she had been invited over was so that she could be a sounding board to Anne's worries. Still, if she went she knew that she would have to try very hard to disguise her emotions so that she did not make the day about herself and her own troubles at home. After a fair amount of deliberation, Jane decided that she would indeed go. It was the right thing to do and surely she would be able to rally her spirits enough to get through one afternoon without seeming upset. Besides, she wondered if the trip outside of the house would make her feel better, or at least give her a momentary breather from thinking about her husband and his feelings which she could not alter.

After getting dressed in somewhat of a hurry, Jane brought Henry to her husband in the study along with his crib so he could lay beside his father. Although Edward claimed to be doing work, he had looked rather idle and pensive when Jane walked into the room, the papers on his desk looking quite undisturbed from the state they had been in the night before. He sighed in seeming frustration when he saw her approaching.

"Jane, I habe told you- I cannot look after Henry and rearrange the estate"

"I'm sorry but I have a tea this afternoon and I cannot take him in the carriage".

"Where?"

"The Eshton's house"

"Why did you not tell me about this before?" he said pushing back from the desk and looking up at his wife.

"Because I forgot about it myself"

"That is very out of your character, Jane. I am surprised at you".

The edge in his voice made Jane feel defensive.

"I can hardly see how you can be surprised at my forgetfulness, Edward, seeing as you are very much at the heart of it".

"You shall have to explain such to me" he said, waiting expectantly for an answer.

"Edward you have greatly worried me these past few days with your sudden and unexplained change in conduct. It has made me forgetful and absentminded. As it is I am afraid that attending a tea is perhaps the last thing in the world I wish to be doing at present. The only reason that I am going is because I do not wish to be unkind to Anne who has been expecting this visit for quite some time".

There was silence for a moment.

"I thought I was clear, Jane, when I said I would not be able to care for Henry until this paperwork was all sorted out. You do not have any notion of how time consuming it is".

"I believe that I do. However, it does not signify either way for Henry is the most important thing in the world. At present he is sleeping, so he will cause you no harm".

"And when he eventually wakes?"

Jane sighed,

"I am sorry, but no matter how long we stay here talking you must watch your son for one afternoon. I will be back before dinner"

"Jane" he said quickly, standing up. There was something in his movement- almost guilt. "You cannot leave in that way"

"I am not sure what staying will do, for I have made my feelings over the past few days known and it is you who have not wished to talk. The power in this case lies entirely with you. I cannot beg for your understanding, nor will I beg for your attention"

"You do not understand. That is not what I want from you"

"I could not say what you want from me. If I did, I am sure you would not have remained so quiet these past few days and I would not be so in the dark. Excuse me, but I must leave now. I am already late".

"Jane-" he said quickly, his jaw tensing, "Jane. This is not about you"

"Not about me? Edward, whatever is going on inside your mind better be about me because if it is not and this is how you've treated me, I would not know what to say to you".

Pain moved across his well known and well loved face, making Jane feel tired.

"My love for you will never change, but I have liked you far more at other times than I do right now. The carriage is waiting, I have to go. As I said, I will be back before dinner".

Wishing she could stay and needing to leave, she departed.

. . .

The ride to the Eshton's was uncomfortable. The usual half an hour it took to travel to the house felt much longer in the cold and empty carriage with nothing but Jane's gloomy thoughts to keep her company. The longer she grappled with her feelings the harder she felt it would be to act happy around Anne. So, she tried desperately to think of something else- to think of Henry, or their unborn child growing inside of her, but her mind inevitibally drifted back to her husband. So when the carriage arrived in front of the Eshton's large and imposing house, Jane had to fight very hard to muster a smile.

"Thank you, George" she said, being helped from the carriage, "I appreciate the ride"

"I will be back for you, miss, whenever I am called".

At that moment Anne appeared on the front steps and Jane approached, reminding herself to be as light as possible. This was fruitless, however, for the moment Jane came into view Anne's smile fell and she looked rather serious.

"Jane, is anything the matter?"

"I am afraid I do not feel like myself today" Jane replied, feeling it was better to be honest when she was already caught by her friend.

"Oh no" she said, "Well come in, come in. There is nothing a spot of tea and conversation with friends cannot fix. Ms Pottle will take your cloak. Come this way".

They moved into the large and oppulant sitting room which was always reserved for Anne and her company. It was the only room in the house that Jane was really familiar with. She had spent much of the early days of their friendship reflecting how much this imposing and austere room failed to capture the warmth of Anne as a person. As Jane sat down Anne asked for privacy in the room so that she and Jane could talk alone, the servants who normally would have served tea laying their trays and exiting the room.

"I am sure they will not mind the time off" Anne said, struggling slightly to sit down across from Jane with her rather pregnant stomach.

"Now" she continued, "Tell me all that has happened"

Jane went to speak but she stopped herself, hesistating.

"Anne, I do not wish for our tea to become about just me. I am fine, really. And you are just about to give birth, I mean that is so much more important-"

"Jane" she said firmly, "You have always been the very best friend to me. You are selfless in the way you listen and wise in the advice you give. I am happy to be able to repay a small amount of the debt I owe you. You certainly must not feel guilty for taking up space with me".

"Thank you" Jane said, feeling humbled by her friend.

"So go on" she encouraged, "I suspect it involves Mr Rochester if you are so affected, and if you arrive here without him being able to settle your mind".

Jane nodded,

"It does, and yet I do not know what the problem is so I cannot tell you what has transpired between us".

"What do you mean?"

"John, our dear butler, passed three days ago. It was a complete shock to everyone, including myself who spoke to him just minutes before he was gone. It was all so sudden. It was very hard on the house, but especially Edward"

"But of course. He had known him all his life, had he not?"

"Yes, from the time he was a boy. But although the death affected him deeply, which I know to be true, I also suspect there is more to what he is feeling than I have been privy too".

"But why? What has changed? Why do you suspect such?"

"Edward has been very distant with me. He does not wish to talk to me, spend any time around me, nor even touch me. It is the first time since I have known him he has retreated into himself and pushed me away. And I have been so tired with life recently, with the passing of John, and with Henry, and-"

She stopped herself quickly before mentioning her own pregnancy, feeling the time to share was not at present. Anne noticed this, but allowed her to continue speaking.

"Well, I have just been tired. I have not had the energy to contest Edward, nor would I beg for his attention or an apology. I am just so... well-".

"Hurt" Anne finished, looking meaningfully at her friend.

Jane nodded,

"I am hurt. I am hurt because I have reason to fear something I have never feared before. Perhaps my husband feels differently about me now".

Anne smiled in her own understanding way.

"Jane", she began lowly, "I am not sure I could offer anything on the relationship between you and your husband that you have not already considered or thought of. Partially this is because your married life is more private than we have chosen ours to be. But it is also because I believe the depth of your marriage to be more mature than any relationship I have ever known. I can only offer you what I know for certain, which is that your husband loves you. He loves you more than I have ever seen a husband love his wife. Not only is there love, but there is respect, and admiration, and even joy in the smallest of actions you both express. One miscommunication, one fight, one disagreement between you will not unravel all of that"

"I know" Jane said thoughtfully, "I know that he loves me, Anne. But I am surprised and worried by the sudden change in his feelings- I worry that I am now not worthy of being kept in his confidance".

"Then I will tell you something that my mother told me which I have found helpful at difficult times in my marriage. You never know what goes on inside another persons head. You never know what plagues them in their quietest moments, even if you are married and share their bed at night. What Edward is feeling, what he is dealing with, may very well have nothing to do with you".

"He said as much" Jane said quietly,

"Exactly. And although it is perhaps wrong to not allow you into his confidances, it is also likely that what he is feeling is too difficult to put into words. Death can sometimes do that to a person- it can put them in a frame of mind which makes them feel isolated and alone, unable to convey to others what they feel. When Mr Eshton pulls himself away from me, I allow him to. Men will always return to their wives, eager for remorse and their comfort".

Jane looked at her friend thoughtfully.

"The pride of men is something we women may never understand, but being able to forgive it is the special gift of women. It has been given to us by God, and thank goodness for it for we need it".

For the first time in days Jane felt a genuine smile creep over her face before it fell again quickly.

"Come Jane. I cannot bare to see you sad. All will be well, I assure you. I will sit and listen to your feelings all aftenoon, and I can promise that each time the answer will be the very same- that Edward loves you, you love him, and in a few more days this will all have passed".

. . .

An hour and a half later, Jane's carriage was called back to the front of the house. The afternoon had served her well, and she felt that she was returning to her own house with a renewed sense of energy that she had been lacking so much over the past few days. Jane and Anne continued to talk in the main hallway while her cloak was being fetched, but the footsteps which eventually sounded, and which they assumed were the returning servant, were rushed and unnatural. When Anne had noticed this she stopped and looked at Jane questioningly in just enough time to see Mr Eshton speeding around the corner.

"Jane! Good you have not left. I am afraid that I cannot send you home in your coach alone. I am reluctant to let you leave at all, for there have been accounts of robbers along these roads tonight. I am sure Edward will lend me a horse to get home if I ride back with you".

"Robbers?" Jane said in surprise, "My goodness. Has anyone been hurt?"

"Oh no, no one has been injured. But I dare say that the Dawe's will not soon forget this night"

"The Dawe's!?" Anne said in suprirse, "The mother or the daughters?"

"I am not sure. But in any case it is not safe to travel alone. I will escort you".

"I am very grateful to you, but I certainly do not wish to put you out"

"You shall not. Besides, I would never be forgiven by your husband if I did not see you home".

"Then I shall come too" Anne said, turning quickly and putting her finger in the air "I will only need a minute to grab my things-".

"No" Mr Eshton said firmly, "You will not be coming. Especially not in your condition. You are likely to go into labour on the road and then there we would be in more trouble than robers could cause".

After several minutes of argumentation between the couple in which Jane awkwardly stood silently between them, she entered her carriage followed by Mr Eshton. The door was closed, but Jane had no one to wave to as Anne had already retreated upstairs, angered by her husband's conduct. Mr Eshton looked out of the carriage window as it began to move and rolled his eyes, sitting back in a more comfortable position.

"I am struggling at present with keeping Anne comfortable. She is tired of being pregnant and tired of being confined"

"It am afraid that I cannot blame her. Being pregnant can be very uncomfortable indeed".

"Oh naturally" he said, "That is why it is the job of women, not men, to carry children".

Jane chuckled,

"In this case you might be very right".

The carriage hit a large hole in the road and jostled dangrously for a moment. Eshton shook his head,

"No wonder the Dawe's were so easily over taken on this road, it is terrible. After the snow is gone and the ground softens it will need quite a bit of work. I do not blame the Dawe's for returning home in such a rush however"

"Why were they in a rush?" Jane asked curiously,

The Dawe's were a well discussed family in the neighbourhood. The household was comprised of four girls aged twenty one, sixteen, and fifteen, none of which were married, and their two elderly parents. This unusual situation caused them to be easy targets of local gossip. Jane had only seen the family twice, once at the Eshton's Christmas ball and another time in town doing some shopping, but it was not their unmarried status which interested her. In truth it was the disfunction of the family which made her feel rather sympathetic. The two oldest daughters were twins, though not in appearence, and were born when their parents were almost in their forties. As a result, they were extremely close, and as far as Jane could tell they were rather sensible in comparison to their younger sisters. Somewhat plain in appearence and shy in nature, the girls had not gathered much attention when they were introduced to society. It was because of this that they had also not recieved much attention since. In spite of this, they were universally liked, and it was evident that they had merits enough to make them welcomed at any gathering they wished to attend. In comparison, their younger sisters garnered much attention for the opposite reason. Dangerously beautiful, they recieved attention wherever they went and were the source of much envy amongst men. With this, however, was a certain vanity and obliviousness that also made them silly in society. Jane had remembered a moment at the Eshton's ball where the second youngest had taken the hankerchief of one of the men present and refused to give it back until he danced with her, causing quite a scene. The other sister had followed one gentlemen around for almost the whole night, batting her eyes and trying to get his attention while she recieved was the scorn of many onlookers. The parents, from what Jane could tell, were also a source of much conversation. As the story went, they had met when they were quite young and married very shortly after, though they ultimately found themselves to be unable to have children. As a result, the father's fortune was never saved properly, nor was it put aside in a situation where any potential children would inherit it. So, when the twin girls were unexpectantly concieved and born at a rather late age in life, the father scrambled to place his finances in order, only managing to secure them very small doweries. In short, to live well in the manner they were accustomed to, the girls would have to marry very rich husbands who did not care about the lack of finances coming from the union. Then came the two younger girls, who were said to be born in the attempt to produce a son who could inherit the estate so it was not passed to a male relative. This was in vain, however, for the son was never born and the finances of the family became even more sparce. It was a very tragic situation, and one which Jane had much sympathy for. The younger girls, perhaps, would not do poorly to be humbled- to marry straight, down to earth men, who would not provide them with many material things, but would give them humility and graditude. The older sisters, though, deserved to marry kind and gentlemenly husbands who would provide them the comfort which, with every passing day, must have made them very nervous- for if their father died their futures would be very uncertain indeed.

In answer to Jane's question Mr Eshton paused before answering, seeming to choose his words carefully.

"The second youngest daughter seemed to become involved in an entanglement with a young sailor she met while in Brighton. It was all very hushed up, but when I saw Franklin recently he told me of it. I am sure it was quite the scandal, but thankfully for them it never reached here with much popularity. They were very anxious to bring all their daughters back home, I dare say".

"Yet, if they went to Brighton for the summer it would be a rather long time coming back, would it not?".

"Ah yes, well the entanglement took the girl to London with this young man. They were in search of her for quite some time. The other daughters and the mother stayed with an aunt while the search went on. I am told it was only recently they were found out and separated. He refused to marry her and I am afraid the father would not have had the finances to sway him".

"I am very sorry to hear it" Jane said, "How is the mother? I knew her to be of a rather delicate constitution"

"She has degraded, I am afraid. Or else that is what I hear".

"Surely. The pressure of trying to marry off her daughters, who are not overly advantaged, must be stressful enough without such a scandal to affect her health".

"Yes, especially given how cruel people can be. Those social circles are now where the family would not dare show their faces".

Jane sighed,

"I am afraid I find such social rules and regulations to be insupportable, probably because I did not grow up believing they would ever be relevant to me. Still, I think of poor Mary who was greatly taken advantage of, left with child, and cast essentially friendless onto the world. Had she not just been a governess of little consequence, such an abuse would have ruined her life".

"Of course. But how is Mary? Is she enjoying her time with Lady Denver?"

"Oh yes" Jane smiled, "I believe she is enjoying it very much. In truth she is so busy she does not write me with as much frequency as she did when she lived at the Franklin's".

Mr Eshton laughed,

"Well I am sure she shall have many stories for us when she is through. If it is such a happy arrangement do you not think it could be a permenant one?"

"I think not" Jane replied thoughtfully, "Firstly there is Daniel to be considered. Secondly, I do not think that Mary wants to be a companion to an older woman where she cannot be near her friends and family. I do hope, however, that they remain good friends. I think such would be good for both".

"I have no doubt. Though perhaps she would have prefered you, Jane. I know you are her personal favourite"

"If such is true I would not be her favourite for long. I believe myself far too opinioned to suit her and this would be proven if we lived together".

"That woman is so disagreeable" Mr Eshton said, shaking his head, "I do not know how you can harbour so much compassion towards her".

"You are perhaps less aquainted with her than I am because you are a gentlemen, and women and men are not encouraged to foster friendships. She is no doubt difficult, and stuck in her ways, but I have much compassion for her. I believe her very lonely at heart".

"Well I am sorry to hear that" Mr Eshton said, "I have been too harsh, I am sure. Your judgements are never wrong".

Jane smiled, embarassed.

"Well in any case, you are certainly not unkind to her which is a great deal more than others in this neighbourhood".

Looking out of the window for the first time in a while, Jane was surprised to see how close to home she already was.

"Mr Eshton, tell me. Is it true we are to have a militia camping here in the summer".

He nodded,

"It is what I have heard in Magistrate meetings"

"But why? We are not near any wartime action"

"Certainy, not" he laughed, "The gentlemen are coming on a sort of break. They have been camped in the east for quite some time and have been given some time to themselves. I can only imagine how the young women of the neighbourhood will react when it is common knowledge'.

Jane laughed,

"Yes, I can only imagine. I have only meet a camp of soldiers on one occassion, it shall be interesting to see how they conduct themselves".

"When was this?" Mr Eshton asked in amusement,

"When I was first arriving at Thornfield Hall I had to travel quite a long ways, stopping and starting, getting on and off of carriages from one town to another. In one of those small towns there was a camp of soldiers stationed. In my ignorance I was surprised at the amount of young girls who were out in their best bonnets, dresses, and cloaks, no doubt making eyes at the young men".

"Well they certainly had a design" Eshton laughed, "All young women are forced to have a design. I remember such a young women once who was quite set on winning my attentions"

"Oh?"

"A long time ago. She asked her good father to every day visit my own father with her on his arm so that she could have the hope of seeing me. I avoided her like the plague. She eventually married a militia man"

Jane smiled. Mr Eshton was not so humble as her husband, even though she did not believe he thought too well of himself. Still, she could tell he enjoyed telling stories from his youth when he was a bachelor, all the same.

"Some militia men, I understand, make good husbands"

"Of course. They are- well some are at least, disciplined and come from relatively well of families. Some even make a name and fortune for themselves. Some would make very avantageous matches".

The carriage turned suddenly and began moving up the Rochester drive.

"Thank you again, Mr Eshon, for accompanying me home. I fear however your concern was in vain, for we met no robbers along the road afterall".

"And yet it was not in vain" he said, gesturing out the window at Edward who was standing beside his horse, "Look".

When he saw the carriage Edward approached and opened the door, helping his wife down from it.

"You see Rochester, I have played the role of the gentlemen tonight"

"Thank you" he replied genuinely, "We have only just heard here of the robberies. Do you know if the Dawe's were hurt?"

"They are all well I hear" Eshton replied dully, "Though shaken, I am sure".

"Yes, of course".

"Well man, I suppose you will lend me a horse to get back home. I will take the one you have saddled if you have no objection".

"You may take the carriage if you like and have a servant send it back tomorrow".

"The night is such a beautiful one, I think I should like to ride" he replied.

After several more minutes of conversation in which Jane watched her husband closely, Mr Eshton mounted Edward's well loved horse and rode off towards home again- unphased by danger. The servants began retreating to the house and barn so that when Jane and Edward were left quite alone, Edward turned to Jane and started- closing his mouth again and looking serious.

"I have much to apologise for"

Jane looked into his deep and feeling eyes.

"I do not care for apologies- not from you. But I hope you will explain everything to me".

"Of couse. The gardens are lovely this evening in the setting sun. I was observing them while I waited for your return. Would you take a walk with me?"

"Yes" Jane replied, not hesitating to take her husbands arm when he offered it.