Hello my lovely readers,
I hope you are all doing really well. I am SO sorry for the long time inbetween this chapter and the last. My life has just been so busy lately but I missed this story and you all so much.
I hope you enjoy this chapter and the next coming very soon. As always, please leave a review if you feel so inclined. I love hearing from you!
Take Care,
xoxox
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Edward was right in his prediction that it would only take one more day to fully settle the Stephens estate. By this time, everyone had been relocated more centrally to the house and removed from the impoverished situations they had been placed into. He had felt satisfied with the changes, even though some were not as ideal as he would have liked, and because of this, the day was easier than the ones which had come before. Many had approached him quietly to thank him, and the gratitude for the most basic respect shown to them had touched Edward deeply. One woman even asked timidly if he had any positions open at his own house that she could apply for. He wished that he could have told her yes, especially after her face had blushed so dramatically for having asked, but he promised her that if circumstances changed, he would remember her. After this, there were no last minutes serious issues to iron out apart from one woman claiming angrily that one of the kitchen servants from Stephens' estate was making eyes at her husband. After this had been resolved, however, all that was left was to speak to Stephens himself.
In truth, Edward had seen very little of him over the past few days. It had suited him up until this point, for Stephens had not been in the way, but now at the moment he wished to depart he could not find him anywhere in the house. As Edward walked around the estate, speaking to different servants about where he had last been seen, he mused over Stephens' self-indulgent, ridiculous routine. He slept in all morning until lunch was prepared and then smoked and drank throughout the afternoon before smoking and drinking with acquaintances in the night. As far as Edward could tell, he did absolutely no work for the estate, nor had he hired someone to do it for him. It was no wonder the place was in such disarray and confusion.
When Edward turned the corner towards the front of the house he just managed to catch Stephens who had saddled his horse and was about to depart.
"I must speak with you"
"Rochester, I'm on my way out"
"I can see that, but I am finished with my work here and I must speak to you before I leave".
He considered a moment before he dismounted his horse, gripping his gloves tightly in his hand.
"Of course"
Edward could see that he had no intention of inviting him into his office for a private conversation so he spoke where they stood.
"I have given Mr Green an updated list with the new locations of all your staff and their families. I have also promised ten pounds to each family who previously housed of your staff instead of the pound you offered them. They are all expecting this payment within the next few days".
Mr Stephens looked incensed, shaking his gloves threateningly in the air.
"That was not yours to offer-"
"Stephens, it was absurd to offer them a pound when you have more than enough money to pay them properly".
"I had paid them properly and now I will be paying them for nothing as you have relocated-"
Edward took a step forward, speaking lowly.
"I have half a mind to beat you within an inch of your life as it is for your cruelty, for your neglect, and for your indifference but I would miss my dinner and I promised my wife I would be home. As I said, you owe ten pounds to each family and their names are on a list I have given to Green. I will be checking to see that this is done. I do not make promises I cannot keep".
He took a step back and Mr Stephens straightened up. He nodded once, his lips pulled tight.
"Good day to you then, Mr Rochester. Thank you for all of your assistance".
Edward tipped his hat.
"Good day to you, Mr Stephens".
As Edward mounted the horse which had been brought forward for him, the aging man stepped forward, a question evidently hanging on his lips.
"Why did you not take the magistrate position offered to you?" he asked, almost accusingly, "Your friend Eshton is not half as well established or opinionated as you and yet he sits in your seat"
"Eshton does his job well, and I did not want it"
"I find that hard to believe. You no doubt would have been better at it".
Edward, caught off guard, was not able to deny the truth in Stephens' statement. Had he not had a pregnant wife at the time, he would have accepted the post of magistrate without hesitation. He knew that he held a certain power of persuasion in the community and possessed influence that Eshton simply did not have. He also had a better disposition for it- stronger in his convictions with more of a willingness to see things through. In his quietest moments, the guilt of having passed up this post still pulled at his conscious. He had made so many mistakes, lived such a meaningless life, been passive about too many things which mattered. Accepting the post of magistrate surely would have negated some of this history, for he would have managed some good. And yet, had he accepted, it would have meant grappling with a whole new guilt- a guilt which could not be justified by any means. In the days when he would have been consumed with his work, Jane would have been forced to learn how to live as the mistress of a large home, receive guests, and take care of the servants while alone and pregnant. Instantly, the thought of this shook all feelings of regret from him. He knew she never would have complained, but that she would have felt lost in her new life without his help. He never could have allowed that to happen. And, in the end, Edward could not deny that Eshton was good for the role in many ways. He was a breath of fresh air in the room of old men, more modern and more indifferent to inferiority then all of the others combined. Overtime, he had grown more confidant, consulting with his friend less and being more vocal during the meetings. Still, Edward could not deny the fact that he could have done more.
"My first responsibility is to my family" he finally responded, "And with a young family I would have been stretched too thin. Both responsibilities would have suffered".
Something of understanding changed the severity of Stephens brow, but it was evident he would not have made the same choice.
With one final tip of his hat, Edward departed.
. . .
Upon arriving home, Edward was surprised not to find his wife in any of the places she normally spent time while he was away from the house. Henry was down for his afternoon nap yet she was not with him in the nursery, nor was she in the library, sitting room, or their bedroom. In walking to the large window at the end of the hall and glancing out over the frosty scene, Edward surmised that she must have been out for a walk, yet this seemed out of character for her when there would be no one there if Henry woke up and began crying. When he finally pushed opened the door to his office it was not because he expected to find his wife in there, but there she was, curled in an armchair, staring into the fire. He thought at first it was a peaceful scene, but he very quickly realised something was wrong. As soon as Jane heard the click of the door she looked up expectantly. She looked at him for an instant before standing and walking over to him a little too quickly, his arms opening to receive her.
"Jane" he said in surprise, stroking her hair automatically, "What happened?"
She pulled back to look at him and the fear in her face terrified him. He opened his mouth but his expression made Jane grip his arm apologetically.
"I'm sorry," she said quickly, "I do not mean to frighten you"
There was so much strength in her resolve, but he knew every line of her face as well as he knew his own. Her attempt at bravery hurt him. The moment he touched her face, the moment he showed her tenderness, she closed her eyes and bit her lip, trying to stop the tears which were pooling in her eyes.
"What is it?" he asked again,
She breathed before speaking.
"When I got out of bed this morning I found blood on the sheets. It was not very much, but it could not be mistaken for anything else. I began to panic, but then I had to get up and care for Henry and I went about my day trying to calm my mind as much as possible. I was managing well enough until I bled more this afternoon and-", she stopped herself, "-I cannot even think about what it means".
Edward could see the panic building in her chest so he placed both hands on her face, forcing her to look at him as he caressed her cheek with his thumb. When she closed her eyes, his thumb smoothed between her eyebrows.
"Shhh" he soothed, not taking his eyes off of her as a rush of emotions played over her face.
"How much blood, Jane?" he asked, trying to keep his voice as gentle and even as possible.
"Not as much as when it happened before. Not near as much".
"Then we do not know that it is happening again" he reassured her, "It could be nothing near as serious. Did you call for the doctor?"
"Yes, but he has not come yet".
"Then let us sit a while" he suggested, tugging lightly at her, but Jane remained rooted to the spot.
"No, I cannot. I must have some task. I need to keep myself distracted-"
"You can sit" he reminded her firmly but kindly, "And I think you should. I'm here now, sweetheart. All will be well".
"You cannot know that, Edward-"
"But I do. Sit with me a while, darling".
Jane said nothing in opposition, so he walked them to the couch and sat down so that she could rest between his legs. When she finally relaxed against him he heard her choke back a singular tear, and he could not resist the urge to pull her closer and kiss her cheek.
"Edward"
"Hm?"
There was a long pause.
"Please. You mustn't do that"
"Why not?"
"Because, I cannot fail you again," she said simply, turning her face away from him. The pure honesty radiating from her features was heartbreaking. She bit her lip before turning to look at her husband. "I cannot tell you again that I am bringing our child into the world and then lose them. I cannot hurt you like that again".
Edward took her chin between his finger and thumb.
"Don't you ever say that to me again- ever"
At his words, her look changed. Perhaps it softened with relief or perhaps it was the surprising sternness of his voice, but it seemed to pull her from the spiraling shame welling in her.
He touched her face, guiding it back to him when she tried to turn away again.
"I could not even think of putting your name in the same sentence as the word failure. How could I? Look at our life. You are the reason for all of our joy".
Jane shook her head,
"I am so proud of our life, but I am the only one who can bring a child into the world, and you are such a wonderful father. I do not wish to deprive you of anything".
Edward could not help the singular astonished chuckle which fell from his lips.
"You have deprived me of nothing but given me everything, it is hardly fair".
Jane paused.
"Not everything, not if I cannot give you as many children as you want".
Edward kissed her forehead, understanding the fear behind her words.
"As far as we know, our baby is still growing inside of you as happy and contented as ever. We just need to speak with the doctor".
"Mmm" she conceded, looking at him for a long moment before closing her eyes and laying her forehead on his shoulder. She took a deep breath before exhaling slowly. "I missed you so much today".
"I missed you too" he said, rubbing her back slowly as she took a deep breath, "And I am sorry I was not here to ease your mind".
But Jane only shook her head quickly and pulled back to look at him.
"I knew all day that the moment you were home I would be held in your arms and comforted and that was enough. You are a very good husband and a very good man".
He kissed her forehead and then jaw appreciatively.
They remained that way for a long time until there was a knock at the door, and Edward reluctantly maneuver his wife into a seated position beside him before putting his arm around her.
"Come in" he called,
The door creaked opened and Jenny stepped inside.
"The doctor has just arrived"
"Oh, please send him in".
She nodded, and a moment later the kindly doctor who had confirmed Jane's pregnancy stepped inside the room.
"Hello Mr Rochester, Ms Rochester" he said, removing his hat, "How do you do?"
Jane and Edward stood, acknowledging his presence.
"I am not sure" Jane began, "I have some reason to be concerned about my pregnancy. I woke up this morning and found blood on my sheets".
When seated, the doctor knit his eyebrows together in concentration.
"How much blood was there?"
"Not much, only spots"
"As much as your monthly would be?"
"No, not near that much"
"And was it dark in colour?"
"No, it was not"
The doctor nodded, taking in all she said.
"Did you experience any pain during the course of the night?
"No, none at all"
"And nothing has developed throughout the day?"
"No, nothing"
He leaned back in his chair, taking off his glasses.
"I can certainly examine you if you wish, Ms Rochester, but I do not see any need for it. Women who suffer miscarriages, which I assume is your fear, experience a lot of pain and a lot of blood. It can also last for a long time. It is my experience that women do not begin bleeding and then stop if they are losing their baby".
Jane nodded,
"I did experience a miscarriage, doctor, and it was nothing like this morning"
He frowned.
"Oh, I am sorry Ms Rochester. But there is no better judge of what your body is capable of than yourself. If it did not feel for you this morning as it did when you miscarried, I would have no reason to be concerned".
Jane nodded,
"It is also uncommon for women to lose their babies after the first few months of pregnancy have passed. You are a ways along now, and I would not expect this to be a concern for you".
"Do you know then what that blood this morning might have been caused by?"
"It could have simply been a little bit of spotting. Nothing more or less than your body confusing needing your monthly and not needing it".
Jane looked to Edward who rubbed her arm comfortingly.
"Apart from today, how are you feeling, Ms Rochester?"
"Very well, mostly. I have not been very hungry in the mornings and some days I find myself quite tired by the end of the day. Overall though, I feel much better than I did when I was pregnant with Henry"
The doctor smiled and nodded knowingly.
"Some women find that their pregnancies become easier over time. That could very well be the case with you".
Jane smiled slightly for the first time all day,
"I do hope so, doctor"
He returned the smile before turning his head.
"And how do you feel, Mr Rochester? I might as well ask while I am here"
"Oh, I am very well. Never better"
"Then my work here is done and I am afraid I must be off. I have another patient nearby that I need to see. Little boy with a fever over at the Marshall farm"
"Of course. I hope it is nothing too serious"
The doctor shrugged,
"Children often become sick in the wintertime. It is unfortunate but not unexpected. I am sure he will be well in a day or two if he manages to stay in bed".
He stood and Jane and Edward rose to their feet.
"Thank you again for coming, doctor".
"It is my pleasure. Please, call for me again if there is anything I can do for you".
Jane smiled in appreciation as Edward walked the doctor to the door. They both disappeared around the corner and were gone a moment before her husband turned around.
"I wont be two moments" he promised.
When he was gone again Jane sat down on the couch, placing her hand on her forehead and sighing in relief.
. . .
Jane and Edward spent the entire night with their son. Even though it was their daily routine to do so, that night it felt different. Jane was more grateful than she had perhaps ever been for her family- for their health and happiness. She did not take her eyes off of Edward who lay across their bed with Henry on his stomach. Their son was giggling nonstop, watching his father disappear behind his hands and reappear with a funny face again and again. Rolling around happily, he reached for his mother the moment she lay down beside him on the bed. Edward passed him over so that he lay on Jane's chest, touching her face before picking up one of his toys beside her. Edward took it from him unthinkingly so that he could take it back again, but his little face screwed up in frustration before he shrieked.
"Oh Edward"
He cursed under his breath, wiggling the toy in front of his son's face,
"I'm sorry. Henry, here-".
But even when offered his toy back Henry would not take it. Jane rubbed his back, trying to soothe him into submission again.
"I know, I know, your father is very cruel indeed".
Edward rolled his eyes before picking up his son and bouncing him on his legs. After some time he seemed to relax, his crying becoming whimpers before Edward rocked him more gently. He tried handing him his toy again but he only held it a moment before tossing it away. Jane laughed, turning into her husband's shoulder and closing her eyes. She felt his lips on her forehead and sighed in contentment.
"It looks like it is time for bed for all of us", Edward muttered, making some effort to sit upright but Jane pinned him in place.
"No, just put him to bed here with us".
"I thought we said that we would try putting him to bed on his own more, especially with our other baby on the way"
"We did"
"And at any rate, it has been a long day. I think we are all in need of a good night's sleep".
Jane nodded and opened her eyes, turning onto her back to look at her son.
"I love you so much" she said, rubbing his head and kissing his cheek repeatedly, "I miss you already".
When Edward had lifted him into his arms and carried him to the door he turned, lifting Henry's arm and moving his hand in a waving motion.
"Say goodnight to your mother"
Jane blew him a kiss before collapsing back into bed, hearing Edward's chuckle as he entered the nursery.
. . .
Over the next several days Jane and Edward discussed replacing John with another servant in the house at length. It was difficult to make the decision, mostly because there was no one in their current staff who was truly qualified for the position. Most of the servants were either young men who were too inexperienced or older men who could not do much work anymore. Before making their final decision, Jane walked down to speak with Leah, looking for her guidance on the subject. It was her first time visiting since Leah had moved into the cottage, except one morning where she had just dropped off a housewarming basket, and she would have felt guilty for such apart from the fact that Leah had not wanted company. In the last week, however, her sister had left and Jane thought it would be appropriate to stop by and see her.
She knocked on the door only once before it opened, revealing a surprised but pleased-looking Leah.
"Miss Jane, I did not expect to see you today"
"I hope I am not intruding. Is this a bad time?"
"Of course not" she said, waving her inside, "Only had I known you were coming I would have had the tea ready for you. You must be frozen from the walk down here".
Jane smiled,
"It is not very far and I do enjoy the winter air, though I would not say no to some tea".
Now tasked with making her guest comfortable, Leah shut the door of the little cottage and began bustling around the small space, instructing Jane to sit at the kitchen table.
The cottage was cozy indeed, far more than when it had been offered to Leah as a home in her retirement. The large fireplace burned with a warm blaze which heated the house comfortably, something Jane was concerned about given its stone walls. There were also blankets and throws over everything, covering all surfaces of the place so that the stone and wood did not feel unwelcoming. It was also immaculately clean, something Jane would have expected of Leah no matter where she lived.
A moment later a tray laden with tea, cake, and cookies was placed on the table and Leah dropped into the table beside Jane. Having made her tea many times before, Leah leaned forward to begin making Jane's tea before she could help herself, pouring in just the right amount of milk before handing it over to her guest.
"Thank you very much, Leah".
"You're quite welcome".
She glanced down at Jane's stomach,
"I heard that you were expecting again. Congratulations to you miss".
Jane smiled,
"It was a surprise to us for certain, but we are very happy".
Leah nodded knowingly.
"The opportunity to have children did not come for myself. I never did conceive on my own, not with John or my first husband".
Jane laid her cup back on the saucer in her hand.
"I did not know you were married before John"
"Oh yes" she said, "When I was very young I married a farmer boy from the villege over. He died not long after. I was alone for a long time until I met John".
Jane smiled weakly,
"And where was that?"
"Church".
"A very good place to meet a husband, I think"
The corner of Leah's mouth turned up but Jane frowned slightly.
"I know you must think of him very often"
"Yes" she said easily, "I do"
"I think of him too. Especially as of late. Edward and I have put off finding a man to fill his impossible shoes for quite some time, but it is becoming necessary to do so now. I keep thinking of who he would think could do the job half so well as him"
Leah chuckled,
"He would think no one, I am sure. Though he would want you to have to help you need. He loved working for you and Mr Edward".
Jane smiled,
"Well, you do not need me to tell you how much we both loved John. He was certainly very good to me, and he was the closest thing Edward ever had to a father".
"Yes, very true" Leah nodded, smiling softly, "But why has the master not hired someone new?"
Jane paused a moment before answering.
"Hiring someone new would be a finite recognition that John cannot be head of our house anymore, and I know Edward does not want to face that reality, even if he knows it cannot be otherwise."
"John would not want him to think like that"
Jane smiled warmly,
"I know that, and so does Edward."
Leah nodded, sipping her tea before changing the topic.
"And how does Jenny make out with her new role?"
"Very well, indeed. She has been working so hard and doing a great job, though she still has much to learn. I do hope I am giving her the right guidance, for you know how inexperienced I am myself".
"It will come with time" Leah assured, "But I am glad you were happy with my choice"
"I always am" Jane said, taking a sip of her tea.
Leah looked at her a long moment, taking in every aspect of her face before sighing.
"Please tell Mr Edward from me that everyone working for him is so content and grateful that there will not be trouble as there would be in other houses for him hiring the position of butler outside the current staff. He must trust his instincts, for in all the years I have known him he has laboured over the right decision and I dare say always has made it".
Jane smiled appreciatively.
"Thank you, Leah".
. . .
That night while Edward was moving around the room getting ready for bed, Jane told him all she and Leah had discussed that day. He watched her intently while she spoke, slowing down his undressing until he was standing in just his shirt.
"She told me to pass on to you that you must trust your instincts, and that there is nothing wrong with hiring outside of the household".
"I do understand the feelings which are normally stirred up when someone is hired outside of the house for a prestigious position. I understand why people would feel slighted by such, but in our case we simply do not have someone who has the experience for the position. They are either too young or too old, and now that John is passed we do not have someone to properly train them. Hiring out is the best thing to do for everyone's sake".
"You know, I agree with Leah" Jane smiled, watching him discard his shirt before approaching the side of the bed. "The reality is, if our staff do not have someone reliable to go to to learn of their responsibilities and to share their troubles then no one will be happy here. You are a very good master and I know you labour over the choices you must make for everyone living under this roof. And you do make the right choices, so you must trust yourself to do what is right".
"Mmm" he reflected, kissing his wife's cheek gratefully, "Then shall we look tomorrow for some candidates? I will ask around to see if anyone knows of someone looking for employment".
"Was there anyone at the Stephens estate?" Jane asked, "I know that you said there was a woman there who asked you for employment. Was his Butler in a similar position, I wonder?"
"Perhaps" Edward said hesitantly, "But I would not put him into this house with you or Henry, nor the rest of our staff. He seemed the only one content with Stephens' tyrannical ways".
"Oh" Jane said simply, "Then yes, I suppose we should advertise. I will sit with you and go through the list once we have some to look through".
Edward nodded before laying down and closing his eyes, sighing in relief. There was quiet for a long moment and Jane could see a sense of tranquility spread across his face, his features relaxing and softening.
"I am so tired tonight" he mused without opening his eyes, reaching for the back of Jane's neck and massaging her there gently.
"That is too bad" she replied teasingly, crawling over him and propping herself up on her elbows, "Because I do not feel tired at all".
"Oh Jane" he groaned, instantly realising what she was implying, "Jane, that is not fighting fair"
She grinned, moving one of his curls out of his face.
"I have no intention of fighting with you, my love".
"Then why does this feel like an assault?"
She laughed, rubbing his shoulders.
"I am tired too. It has been a long day"
She climbed off of him, intending to lay down beside him, but before she realised what was happening she was pinned against the pillows.
"Oh, no no no" he said, moving over her and kissing her briefly
"What?" she laughed,
"Ms Rochestrer, you cannot suggest having sex with a man and then drop the subject as if it is nothing. I am afraid it does not work like that"
Jane grinned as he buried his face in her neck, kissing her repeatedly under her jaw.
"Edward, Edward, Edward" she begged, wrapping her arms around his neck,
"Hm?"
"I take it all back, I just want to sleep"
This sobered him instantly. He looked up at Jane seriously, a frown spreading over his face.
"Do you really?"
The genuinely dejected look on his face made Jane laugh as she sat up and pulled her nightgown off over her head. When it was discarded beside her she drew her husband to her, opening herself to him the instant his lips touched hers. She arched her back against his touch, expectant as he laid her onto the bed...