Hello all of my lovely, loyal readers.
I hope you're all doing well, staying safe, and looking forward to good things in your lives.
I just wanted to give a little clarification on this chapter. This chapter begins in 1844, five years in the future from the previous chapter. This isn't some kind of indication of the end of the story, but I wanted to jump to a period in the future to explore another time in the Rochester's lives. It's a long chapter but I had a lot of filling in to do!
I really hope you enjoy this chapter, and this new time in our favourite couples lives. I would love to hear some of your feedback on what you think, as I am always so, so grateful for your comments. They are what inspire me to keep writing.
All my love,
xoxo
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1844
Jane was aware of the feeling of her husband's hand on her body before she was aware of being awake. For a moment she thought it was a dream. As relaxed and at peace as she was, it was difficult to tell if the drowsy fog had lifted from her or not. And then there was the brushing of his fingers, so feather-light that she could not tell if they were entirely real.
His hand moved across her hips, shoulder, and collarbone so that his fingers could trace delicate and inconsistent patterns over her skin. It wasn't until he brushed over her nipples, however, that her brain seemed to wake and she inhaled quickly, but still she did not open her eyes. Instead, she shifted her position a little, realising in that moment that she had been turned into her husband's frame as she slept, her forehead pressed into his chest. In one easy and gentle motion she was guided onto her back and soft, yet intent lips were pressed to her throat. She moaned faintly, tilting her head back into the pillows as the lips moved to her jaw. When teeth scraped gently against her skin, her mouth opened in quiet surprise, yet she was unable to make any noise until his lips closed around the place of contact and sucked. His mouth was warm, and his breath created goosebumps all over her skin as he switched to the other side. When his tongue flicked her skin she cried out unexpectantly, and suddenly his lips were gone. Confused, Jane's eyes fluttered opened.
Edward Rochester's mouth was only inches from hers, and as she placed her hand at the back of his head, her thumb stretching across his ear to his cheek, he bent his head to kiss her. The moment their lips made contact she felt a satisfaction spread through her which eased her speeding heart which begged for him to be nearer. She moaned into his mouth as he pushed the hair back from her forehead, the motion forcing her head back into her pillow. Flooded with her want of him, she clawed at his back, pulling him towards her in desperation. She felt him smile against her mouth as she whimpered expectantly, his fingers tracing her knee before he hitched up her leg. In one sudden movement, however, she was turned protectively into him and the blankets which were bunched around her waist were pulled up over her bare shoulders. Confused, and left feeling slightly dazed, she looked up at her husband curiously, but as the last of the sleepy fog dissolved she heard something she had not noticed before- the doorknob of the bedroom being turned.
Light footsteps ran across the room until they stopped beside the bed, and then Jane heard a small and familiar voice.
"Father?"
"Shh" Edward whispered, though not loud enough to be truly convincing, "Your mother is still asleep"
"Oh" he said, his young voice full of understanding. "Can I get into bed with you?"
Jane smiled to herself as her husband scrambled for an answer.
"Why don't you go and get your brother first?"
"Okay!" he said, turning and running from the room again.
"Henry?" Edward called
"Yes?"
"Close the door please, and don't run. You could fall".
"Yes father"
The moment the door clicked shut, Jane rolled onto her back and sighed happily, looking up at her husband.
"Good morning" she said softly.
"Good morning" he replied, pulling back the blankets to kiss between his wife's breasts. She smiled, closing her eyes as he kissed her lips and then her forehead.
"Mr Rochester. You wake me from sleep, promising to do certain things to me, and then you do not. I find I am very disappointed"
"You think that you are disappointed?"
She laughed before reaching up to stroke his eyebrow with her thumb.
At 44, Edward Rochester looked much the same as the day Jane had first met him. He still had a mop of charismatically dark, curly hair, his brow was still strong, though no longer as severe as it once was, and his eyes were rich and full of feeling as ever they were. His usually olive skin was tanned a little darker than normal after spending a summer outdoors, though it made him appear well and healthy. He had maintained his physique, too, with his athletic body unusually muscular and well kept for a man of his age and position. The scars of his face had also faded with time, or perhaps Jane had simply noticed them less. The only real sign that he had aged were the deepened lines around his eyes and mouth, though Jane thought they rather suited him. They were the markers of the years of happiness they had shared together, and so to her mind they were something to be proud of.
"Later" she promised him at long last, chuckling at the disappointed look on his face as she sat up to look for her nightshirt. His large and warm hand covered her bareback until she found the slip at the end of her bed and pulled it over her head. Edward stood to pick his up off the floor, and for a moment Jane had a full view of his physique and she could not help but smile, even when he did raise his eyebrow at her.
"What are you looking at?"
"Oh nothing" she mused,
"Nothing?" he asked, climbing back into bed.
At that moment, however, their bedroom door opened and multiple footsteps could be heard coming into the room. Henry and James crawled up from the foot of the bed, Edward grunting as his son landed on top of him.
"James, be careful" Jane said, "Your father is fragile"
Her son laughed as Edward sent her an unimpressed look, but then he turned when his name was called at his side.
"Father?"
"Oh, there's my girl" he said, hoisting his daughter up onto the bed, "And where is the baby?"
But their smallest child had already been helped up onto the bed, his mother kissing his cheek as he crawled into her embrace.
Having all of their children around them, the years which had passed seemingly in the blink of an eye came flooding into Jane's mind.
. . .
The news that Edward Rochester had delivered his own son had caused quite the stir throughout the county when the news had initially broken, though in their excitement and enthusiasm at the birth of their baby, Jane and Edward had hardly noticed. As it had turned out, the doctor had been on a house visit at a farm some fifty miles off and had not been able to return for many hours. When he did arrive at the Rochester home, having run up the stairs and come through the door quite winded, he found Edward cleaning the blood from his wife's legs as she nursed their son. Though he had also been surprised to say the least, he was relieved to report that both mother and baby were doing exceptionally well, even though he did not seem to believe Jane when she said that she felt completely fine. In fact, Jane had not remembered feeling particularly overwhelmed until the following day when all their friends and family arrived at the house, desperate to hear the story of the birth for themselves. Jane did not mind the company, and she was eager to report that all was indeed well in spite of the extraordinary circumstances, but she was still rather tired and adjusting to being a mother of two. So although Edward had allowed a short visitation, he was not long in politely escorting them from the room so that Jane could heal and greet them all when she had a little more energy.
And then, from the moment he was born, baby James had drastically altered the Rochester's lives as they had changed from a family of three to a family of four. He had brought a different kind of understanding and patience into his parent's marriage, for Jane and Edward were required to work together more than they ever had before in order to raise two young children simultaneously. When Henry had been born it had been difficult, but manageable, to care for him between two people, for though Edward and Jane were new parents and everything they experienced was a new challenge, one person could rest, or eat, or get dressed while the other was caring for the baby. When James was born, however, that comfortable routine changed. With two children in need of constant care, there was no time for either parent to rest. At first this was very hard, and Jane remembered that there had been many nights when she and her husband had simply collapsed into bed beside each other after not having uttered a word to one another all day. After several weeks of bickering and short comments, there had been one fight which although short-lived, was exceptionally painful. Admittedly it had been due to a lack of sleep, but it had still been a grim foreshadowing of the years ahead in which their children, only a year apart, would be in need of the same level care. Jane remembered the conversation she and Edward had shared in front of the fire in the study, her sitting with her legs folded, facing him on the couch.
"I'm sorry for today"
"Don't be" Edward said, shaking his head "Or at least allow me to apologize. It was my fault".
"It was not. It was no one's fault. We are both tired- well, perhaps exhausted is a better word".
He tucked his finger under her chin, lifting her face to his.
"Tell me then. What are we going to do about it?"
"This is our lives now, Edward. I am not sure anything can be done about it".
"It does not have to be. We could bring someone in to help"
"You mean a nanny? Or a governess?"
"Mmm"
She paused, considering.
"I don't want to, Edward. I know it would make our lives easier, and that there would be more time for us, and that all women in my position hire someone to raise their children, but I have found so much joy in raising Henry, even if it has been hard at times, and I cannot imagine giving that opportunity away to someone else. They're our babies".
"Then we won't" he replied simply, but Jane recognised it was not a matter which could be addressed so easily. With this in mind, she continued,
"Even though it is not something I want, I am willing to reconsider if such is what is necessary for our marriage".
Edward looked at her for a long moment before smiling weakly,
"Jane, darling, in truth I do not want someone else entering our home and bringing up our children. After raising Henry I cannot imagine another person interfering in that part of our lives. Though, I realise if you are indeed willing to reconsider that possibility for us then you cannot take any more fighting, so I swear to you in this moment it will not happen again".
"No" she agreed, "There must be no more fighting. We are still learning, but we are better then that".
"I know" he agreed lowly, tucking a stray curl behind Jane's ear.
Things had improved after that. Though raising two babies continued to be hard, their mentality and thus approach was different. And then, by the seeming grace of God, they managed to get their two babies on the same schedule, eating, and playing, and sleeping at relatively the time time. This had been the real turning point, for when one ate, the other did too. When one wanted to play, so did the other, and when they both slept, Jane and Edward had time alone to do whatever needed to be done. For the first six months, James slept only sporadically throughout the night for perhaps two or three hours at a time, making things rather difficult. After that, however, he settled. Jane remembered the first morning she had woken to cries after getting a solid night's sleep. It had felt like a victory, and it allowed the Rochester's to hope that some time in the future things would be easier for them.
And then a new phase of parenthood emerged, the time in which their children's personalities began to be known, and they grew in the world as two distinct souls. Henry, who was so strikingly like his father with his dark curls, dark eyes, and expressive brow, still possessed some traits of his mother. His nose was small, his chin was rounded, and he had a full cheek and lip. In terms of personality, however, he was much more similar to her. Quiet, gentle, and curious, he was a force of love in the world. He was a very happy baby who grew into a very happy child, always taking the time to crawl into one of his parent's laps, always wanting a book read to him, always wanting to help where he could, always wanting to be part of whatever they did as a family. He grew into his responsibility as an older brother, too, with enthusiasm and care. Though he and James were only a year apart in age, he did not seem to understand things in that way. Instead, he hung over him in his own quiet, unintrusive way, playing with him and falling asleep beside him, sometimes stepping in to protect him from harm, even if that was simply tripping and falling down.
James was different from his brother, for while his looks were an equal mix of his parents, his personality was much closer to his Edward's. His hair was a wavy chestnut brown, his skin olive, and his eyes a bright green. His face and nose were angular- not as much as his father's, but still somewhat striking for a child of his age. He was always declared handsome by those who met him, and this mixed with his bright personality made Jane worry for the day he would begin courting in the future. Playful and funny, charming and clever, he entertained everyone he met. Still, there was something thoughtful and personable about him which was as evident as his charm. He got in trouble for breaking rules more than the other children but then again, he was more sensitive as to why they were in place. Mostly he wanted nothing more than to be a boy, to be able to play and run around freely, but there were also times where he wanted to be with adults, to listen in on more complex conversations which though out of his depth, carried a different kind of emotional weight for him than it would have for other children his age. In this, he always reminded Jane of his father.
And then life had changed again, for when Henry was three and James was two, Jane began to feel differently towards her oath that there was to be no more babies born for at least ten years. She and Edward had become better parents by then, if not more experienced ones. She was sure that together they could handle the challenge of a newborn without facing the same difficulties they experienced when James was born. And, in truth, by that time she was longing for another child. She had loved being a mother to her sons more than anything she could have imagined, and she felt an interior, private pride at being the one to bring her husband's children into the world. Seeing the joy it bought Edward to be a father, feeling the joy for herself, Jane didn't know if she could go through the rest of her life never holding one of their babies in her arms again. Before she had much time to think of it, however, she missed her cycle for the first time since becoming pregnant with James. Surprised and slightly overwhelmed at the prospect, she had waited another month of her cycle to pass without any bleeding before she felt like she could tell her husband, but as eager and excited as she had felt at that time, she did a poor job of hiding it. One night Edward had been watching her at dinner simply pushing the food absently around her plate, noting that she had eaten nothing in the time it had taken him to put Henry back to bed after he had wandered downstairs looking for milk. After a few minutes of silence he reached for her hand across the table.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing" she replied honestly, but Edward's brow furrowed.
"You're not being honest with me"
"I am" she said, but then she frowned, "There's not anything to tell- well, there is" she corrected herself, "I just don't know how, exactly, to tell you".
"Jane, you're making me worried. What is it?"
"Oh, it's nothing bad" she assured him quickly, "Actually it's something rather wonderful".
He shook his head in confusion and she smiled softly.
"I'm with child, Edward".
His fork slipped out of his hand and hit his plate noisily, though it did not fall very far. He looked at his wife, not seeming to comprehend.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes"
"You are with child?"
"Mhm"
In an instant he had pushed his seat back from the table so that he could pick his wife up in his arms, holding her close to him. She laughed as he kissed her cheek, laying her back on the floor.
"But you said no more children for ten years, at least. Is this what you want? Are you happy?"
"In truth, all I want is another baby to hold in my arms. I could not be happier".
He kissed her forehead.
"You do know that we will truly be outnumbered now?"
"We will, though you can be rather scary when you want to be, Mr Rochester. I am counting on you bringing that side out more often in future".
She could feel his low chuckle as he pulled her into a hug.
"I love you"
"I love you more"
Rushed footsteps could be heard in the hallway before Jenny appeared in the doorway looking concerned.
"Is everything alright, Sir? Miss?"
But the Rochester's only smiled at her.
Seven months later Jane went into labour with their third child, and though she and Edward did not necessarily want to deliver the baby again on their own for the sake of safety, she was absolutely firm that her husband was to stay in the room with her. When the doctor refused to allow this, Jane had hired a midwife who was more comfortable with the idea, though she did express some apprehension at never having heard of such a thing before. Focused on delivering a healthy baby, however, and comforted by the presence of her husband, it was ultimately the fastest delivery Jane had experienced. What she had not expected, however, was the announcement that the baby was a girl- and neither had Edward apparently, for he looked more surprised than Jane had ever seen him. It was true that over the course of the pregnancy they had always referred to the baby as a boy, for having had two sons already it was the default language they used, and though it was a distinct possibility that the baby would be a girl, it had simply not occurred to them.
In the years which had passed since, Jane could not distinctly remember when the midwife had left, or in what manner she and the room were cleaned, for all she could see in her memory was her husband silhouetted before the fire holding their daughter as if she was the most precious thing in all of the world. He had rocked her in his arms with the confidence of an experienced father but the humility of a new one, and that image of love had been seared into Jane's mind forever.
Emily Rochester, quickly nicknamed Emmy by the family, was quite like Jane both in her looks and temperament. She had light chestnut brown curly hair, green eyes, and a fair complexion. Her lips were a soft pink, and her freckles very characteristic of her, especially as she grew. She, like Henry, was somewhat quiet and shy, yet she was determined with a strong will. She was also quite affectionate and curious, making her easy to love wholeheartedly. It was different raising a girl, Jane had realised early on. She had seen parts of herself in Emmy, recognised moments of growth in her which she had gone through herself. And then, her daughter was a little more sensitive than her sons had been, and Jane understood this more than anyone else. Sitting and doing her hair in the mornings, they talked about life, and her toys, and their plans for the day, and Jane was humbled by the knowledge that one day she would look back and remember those times as some of the fondest they shared.
And then, one year after that, Jane was pregnant once again. This time, however, she and Edward had discussed the matter beforehand, deciding what they wanted together. At that point in their lives they already had three healthy children, two boys and a girl. In this sense, they already had all they had a right to ask for as parents, and it raised the question of whether having more children would be the right thing to do. As finances were no barrier to them having as big of a family as they wanted, and as Edward had the education, which he passed onto his wife, of how not to become pregnant through intimacy, the choice felt like it was theirs. Edward had expressed apprehension at the idea of Jane becoming pregnant every other year, arguing that people would see him as some kind of brute who uses his wife for breeding, but Jane was more concerned that having too many children would make their plan of raising their children independently rather impossible. And then they had discussed the possibility of adopting a child if they wanted another baby, for there were many orphaned children who were in desperate need of homes. But then, one afternoon after church, Jane held a woman's baby while she went in search of her other child and the decision was made for her.
Peter became the baby of the family, and from the moment of his birth he held a special place in everyone's hearts. He had straight chocolate brown hair, dark eyes, and a fair complexion with freckles similar to his sister, though much less prominent. Adorable, playful, and silly, he was full of energy and full of life. Not stopping for one moment in the run of a day, he was a force to be reckoned with. At only two years old he spoke more than any of the other children had at that age and he had learned to walk at ten months old. Jane, of course, had noticed this when she saw him pull himself up from the ground on a chair and start wobbling to the door. Amazed, and also concerned, she had caught him just in time before he fell onto his face. That had been the last time he had crawled in his whole life and soon after he began walking he began running, and then it was difficult to keep an eye on him, especially with so many older siblings excitingly encouraging him.
For siblings, the Rochester children were especially close. Often, Jane reflected, they could be heard in the hallway in the mornings making immense amounts of noise in telling each other to be quiet. At any given moment their excited giggles could be heard coming from their nursery, or the garden, or from the kitchen if they were trying to sneak a snack before dinner. And even though there had been times, like the lunch in which the older boys fell asleep at the table because they had snuck into each others rooms the night before, where their parents had to put their foot down about when they could spend time together, in general nothing gave them more joy than to watch her children playing. In truth, it was the first time either Jane or Edward had seen young siblings who shared a closeness due to a genuine affection for one another. Jane, of course, had grown up alongside the Reid children, so she knew the only thing which marked their relationship to one another was a jealous rivalry for their mother's affection. And while she had not known them as children, Diana and Mary had expressed to Jane that though they were close as sisters, as children their relationship with St John was much the same as it had been in adulthood- distant but respectful. For Edward, he had only known the relationship between him and his brother, and that had been marked by its own competitiveness and cruelty. For their own children, things were different. Though there was only a year between the older boys and the younger children, Henry and James acted like older brothers, protecting and entertaining Emmy and Peter as part of their daily routine. And though it was unconventional for young girls to play with their brothers, Jane and Edward had not only allowed it, but encouraged it for Emmy. As she was the only girl, they did not want to create a household where all the boys played while she was forced to sit inside and practice her needlework. There would be time for all that in the future, Jane reasoned, but her daughter did not need to feel isolated in childhood so that as an adult she came to believe that she was less deserving of things then men. For Edward, he wanted to teach his sons from a young age not only to respect women, but how to live with them as their equals. He hoped that his relationship to his wife showed this daily, but it was also important to him that his sons experienced this in the way they interacted with their sister.
And so while their little family grew, Jane and Edward had also grown in their relationship with one another. Their love had deepened and matured as their seasons of life had changed, and with each new challenge they encountered they had adapted to it together. Every time Jane looked to Edward, no matter where they were or what they were doing, she felt an immense pride for all of the things they shared, most of which could not be put into words. And then she was able to recognise that this was not always the way it worked for couples, that whether because it happened naturally or because women were told from childhood it would happen, it was much more likely for the strains of life to cause the fragments holding a marriage together to bend, and weaken until they break, and then couples existed as companions or acquaintances rather than partners. This, or in always being expected to act subordinately to her husband, a woman one-day breaks and confronts him on his behaviour, allowing him an excuse to blame her for their decline in their happiness while simultaneously justifying his mistress. And then, women were fed the narrative from childhood that men simply did not love their wives. They lusted for them, perhaps. They needed them for children, but when that initial lust was over and an heir was born then it became a woman's responsibility to settle into being a support to him, but not a bother and not a nuisance. To be as inoffensive as possible was to do well as a wife. But for Jane, and for other women who did love their husbands, such was almost amusing in its shallowness. She could never imagine a moment, let alone a day, in which she felt indifference towards Edward. And as for the wanting of him, it had only increased with time. Some talked of the wildness of first love, of the insatiable appetite of early attraction, but such always was qualified with a fading over time. In Jane's personal experience, the only things which had diminished between her and Edward were doubts, and uncertainty, and fears.
And so life was good, not because things were perfect, but because everyone Jane loved in the world was well, and loved, and happy. As far as she was concerned, that was all she could ever want.
. . .
"Mommy, I'm hungry" James said, sitting up in bed.
"Well, what time is it?"
He turned to look at the clock on the side table,
"It is... four o'clock"
"I see we will have to practice reading clocks with you, James" Edward said, leaning over to read the time for himself.
"It's half eight. In another half an hour breakfast will be ready. Why do you not go and get dressed?"
"Mommy, will you help me?" Emmy asked, playing with one of her mother's curls.
"Of course, let's go".
As Jane stood from the bed, lifting Emmy down onto the floor beside her, she watched Edward and the boys spread out on the bed.
"We will stay in here for a little longer" he explained to his sons, but Jane was quick to interject.
"No, you boys can go and get dressed too. Your father will help, especially you, Peter".
Edward sleepily grunted as Jane left the room with Emmy.
. . .
When Jane and her daughter arrived in the dining room a few minutes later, Adele was already dressed and seated at the table. Now seventeen years old, she had grown up seemingly overnight, though admittedly it was still difficult for Jane not to view her as the little girl she had first known. In spite of this, any present observer would only have seen her as beautiful young woman. Her once lighter hair had darkened into a dirty blonde, almost light brown, and she had lost the roundness of her features which had made her look girlish. Now she had quite a slim, somewhat angular face, though only in ways which flattered her. Her lips were full and always flushed a pretty rose colour, her brow delicate and soft. Much more importantly, however, Adele had developed a well-principled and good-tempered character which made her a pleasing and obliging companion. She had completed her education at school and achieved significant academic success before returning to their home where she had lived for the past year. She had proved to be a great help in caring for the children, taking up the role almost of a nanny with enthusiasm. She did not need to do this, and Jane or Edward had certainly never asked her to, but she often expressed how much she enjoyed it as it gave her something to do in between her schooling ending and her eventual marriage beginning. When these sorts of remarks were made, Jane wished that Adele was not so set on infusing her life with meaning only by reaching certain hallmarks of womanhood, seeming, by extension, to find any time in between school and marriage as a waste. But, in truth, it was the way of the world for women, and so Jane could not blame her for believing so. To try and remedy this, however, the two women often shared conversations around patience and waiting- around the importance of living life as your own person before marrying so that you entered the union as an individual. At times it seemed Adele understood this, at other times it seemed as if she did not quite believe it. Afterall, she was only a year younger than Jane had been when she had first met Mr Rochester. It perhaps all seemed a little hypocritical to her.
"Good morning, Adele" Jane greeted her, smiling as she looked up.
"Morning, mother. And good morning to you too, Emmy"
"Adele!" Emmy said, pulling herself into the chair beside her, "Do you like my hair?"
"It is very pretty. It suites you well. I remember when mother used to do my hair in the same way"
"That is because I am not very talented with doing hair" Jane admitted, and Adele smiled graciously,
"Perhaps not, but you are rather the best mother in the world so I suppose you can be forgiven".
Jane smiled at her, stroking the top of her hair as she passed.
"Well, at any rate it is a good thing that you can do your own hair so beautifully".
Breakfast was slowly brought into the room and Emmy reached forward for an egg the moment the tray was layed in front of her but Jane stopped her, telling her she must wait for her father and brothers to arrive. Unsurprisingly, Edward and the boys made it to the table a little later then they were supposed to, though as they were all dressed and in one piece, it was well enough.
"Good morning Adele" Edward said, letting go of Peter's hand and helping him up into his seat beside his mother.
"Morning father. How did you sleep?"
"I slept well enough. What of you?"
"I was up too late reading, I must admit"
Edward shared an understanding look with her before glancing at the others now seated at the table.
"For all the younger children present, Adele is old enough to decide if she wants to make herself tired by staying up too late. You do not have the same choice".
Henry and James frowned while Emmy asked if she could start her breakfast.
"Yes darling" Edward answered, "And when you all are done I hope you can get cleaned up on your own, for a little while at least, for your mother and I will need to get dressed for the day. We are going to Mr Eshton's house for lunch in the early afternoon"
"Are we?" James asked excitedly, kneeling up on his chair and leaning over the table.
"James" Jane reminded him gently before he took his seat again.
"Yes, for Mr Eshton and Captain Franklin's birthdays"
"Are they today?"
"No, they were both last week but we are celebrating today".
As it had happened, Mr Eshton and Captain Franklin had their birthdays within one week of each other and it had become a tradition over the years to have one celebration on the same day for them both.
"Will we get to see Aunt Diana and Aunt Mary?"
"Indeed" Jane smiled, "Along with everyone else"
They all grinned at one another, forking their breakfast down quicker then they otherwise would have. When everyone had finished, the children all left for their rooms to get ready, Adele and Peter lingering at the table little while longer.
"Will you come today, Adele?" Edward asked as Peter bit into his last piece of toast.
"I believe I will" she said, "I know that I said yesterday I thought I may stay here to work on some of my paintings, but I do look forward to seeing everyone again and I can paint anytime. Besides, I can help the children while you and mother get ready".
"Thank you, Adele, I appreciate that. Though we do have some time before we have to leave so the children can also take some time to just play", Jane explained.
"I'm all done" Peter said, holding out his hands which were sticky with jam. Jane took the wet cloth beside her and wiped them off as she addressed her son.
"Now Peter, Mommy will be up with you in a few minutes. Will you be okay until I come to you?"
"Can I play with my train?"
"Yes darling, but then we will have to go"
He pouted.
"Can I take my train with me?"
"No, you won't be able to take it with you to another person's house, but it will be waiting for you when you are home"
He looked slightly disappointed at the realisation,
"But I want to stay here with my trains"
"Peter" his father warned gently, "Your mother is right. You cannot take your toys to another person's house. When you go to someone's house it is to enjoy their company, not your toys".
"Yes, father"
"That's a good boy. Now, go and enjoy some playtime until we are ready to go".
"Come on, Peter" Adele said, helping him as he slid off the chair so that they could leave the room, "I will play trains with you".
When Edward and Jane were left alone in the silence, something that was somewhat a rarity in those days, he helped her up from her seat and put his arm around her as they walked upstairs. Halfway up, however, he stopped-
"Darling, I forgot I was meant to check something for Thomas. I'll be up in a moment"
"Very well" she said, releasing his hand.
Walking by the nursery, Jane stuck her head inside to see Henry, James, and Emmy all sitting on the floor playing with various toys. They looked up when the door opened, gazing expectantly at their mother.
"Remember that we will be leaving around noon. And Henry, remember to just change your shirt, sweetheart. I think you got a little jam on it during breakfast".
"Yes mother. Is there another white shirt in my drawer?"
"There should be. If not I'll help you find one"
"Okay" he said quickly, eagerly turning back to his game.
Feeling grateful that there were not yet any fights breaking out between the children, Jane entered her room to change for the day. It was difficult to know what exactly to wear, for though it was September it was unseasonably warm, and the last few days had been almost hot. So, after some deliberation, Jane settled on a light and plain yellow dress with an empire waistline and long sleeves, but which beautiful floral embroidery along the neck and hem. Jane had learned over time that even the most beautiful and elaborately designed dresses didn't suit her as well as the plain ones did, and that whenever she wore something with two many bows or frills, it looked like the dress was wearing her rather than the other way around. So she observed herself in the mirror, piling her hair on top of her head as the door opened and Edward entered. Because she was focused on pinning a curl in place, she did not look at him until she could see him sneak up in the mirror behind her and wrap his hands around her waist. He kissed her cheek and she smiled, dropping her arms.
"You look beautiful today"
"Thank you" she said, feeling his hands move over her backside. She raised her eyebrow curiously as he turned her to face him.
"Excuse you, sir, but I am trying to finish my hair"
"I really do not care" he said, lifting her up under the arms with surprising ease and placing her on the window sill beside the mirror. She landed with a little thump, laughing lightly as her husband's lips found hers, silencing her instantly. When the kiss broke, she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"You smell good" she said lowly, kissing his jaw, "You smell almost like wood".
He chuckled, lifting her chin up so that she was looking at him.
"You can just ask, you know"
"We do not have the time"
"Don't we?"
She smiled, amused by her own willingness to give in so easily.
"I cannot tell if that is a submissive smile or a taunting one"
"Can't it be both?"
He groaned into her throat, kissing her adams apple with painful restraint. Jane furrowed her brow, breathing deeply as her husband flipped up her skirt and knelt before her. The moment his mouth made contact with her core, her eyes rolled back and her head banged against the window. He ate her with masterful skill, and the feel of him, and the sounds of him, and the wanting of him made her feel almost intoxicated. Edward pulled Jane's hips towards him and, caught off guard by the suddenness of the action, she threw her legs over his shoulders to catch herself from slipping off the window.
"Careful" Edward warned, kissing the inside of her leg.
"Help me down"
"Why?"
"I have something I want to do"
He raised his eyebrow as he lifted her to the floor, but he did not have much time to consider her meaning before her hands were at the buttons on his trousers. He grinned as she pushed him back onto the bed and moved over him, finishing up with the last button so that she could slide them down. As Jane took him into her hands he lay back, one arm thrown over his middle and the other thrown over his head.
"God" he moaned, closing his eyes, "How can you look so innocent and do such indecent things?"
"Well, if you want me to answer that question I won't be able to do what I was planning on doing next".
"And what was that?"
Jane's answer was muttered lowly, but it served it's purprose.
She reached up to kiss him, not allowing his tongue to distract her from what her hands were doing. When she applied slightly more pressure to her grip, Edward groaned so that the kiss was broken. Jane took the opportunity to move back down the bed, laying next to her husband so that she could take him into her mouth. She felt his hand move to her hair and then to the back of her neck securely, but in no way forcefully, and the rush of trust that Jane felt in the action made her wild with desire. As she worked, she could not help but smile at her husband's exclamations of pleasure, but when one particularly explicit word slipped from his mouth, she crawled back up to his height. He sighed peacefully, putting his hands on his wife's waist.
"You can continue doing that, if you like. No need to stop"
Jane smiled to herself.
"Would you like me to continue?"
"Just for a little longer" he said, kissing her briefly "Your mouth feels so good"
"Okay" she whispered, moving back down the bed and resuming her previous activity. The moment her mouth made contact with him she heard the palm of his hand slam into the headboard, but quickly he pulled her back up to his height after another vulgar, but sincere, exclamation slipped from his mouth.
"Dammit. I'll finish if you continue to do that"
"Where is your resolve, Mr Rochester?" she teased, but he only chuckled.
"It crumbled a long time ago when it comes to you".
He sighed, gripping the fabric of her dress which was bunched around her waist before throwing it from his hand.
"Why is all of this in my way?"
"Because it took me a significant amount of time to put it on just now and I do not want to have to do so again"
"What if I were to help you get it back on?"
Jane laughed at his eager face,
"You have seen me naked a thousand times. I believe that you will survive without seeing me this once"
"Well it's been more than that, darling, but a man does not tire of seeing a woman naked- especially his woman"
"Oh I am your woman then, am I?"
"You most definitely are" he assured her.
But as he tried to pull her closer she put her hand on his chest,
"Are you saying, then, that there are other naked women that you do not grow tired of looking at?"
"No" he pridefully smirked, "I do not have to. Not with how often I find you in my bed".
Jane felt a grin tugging at the corner of her mouth, though she disapproved of his excessive pride.
"What am I to do with you?" she asked, but she was turned onto her back and silenced as his thumb traced her bottom lip.
"Why don't you let me worry about that?"
He hiked up her dress, and she moaned in anticipation as he stroked himself against her entrance. She gasped slightly, closing her mouth to silence herself as he slipped inside of her. The relief she always felt at the familiar size of him, the relief of the need he soothed, made her heart flutter wildly in her chest. He rocked in and out of her, over and over, but it did not take either of them very long before they reached their climax. Perhaps it was the knowing that they had very little time, or perhaps it had been the anticipation over breakfast, or perhaps it was just how much they wanted each other, but Jane was surprised by the fast and sudden ending to their lovemaking. The orgasm which ripped through her made it difficult for her to catch her breath for a moment as she grasped the blankets around her for support. Edward watched her for as long as he could, looking intent, and proud, and in love, but as he finished himself he lay down beside her with his face turned into her hair, his chest rising and falling as his breath steadied.
In the silence, Jane could hear the sound of a door opening at the end of the hall and small, running footsteps until another door opened and closed and things were quiet again. She turned to her husband who smiled at her knowingly.
When Henry and James had first been growing, they had struggled to reconcile the time they spent with their children and the time they spent alone. In reality, their children took up the overwhelming majority of their day, and the rare moments that they were not with them usually occurred late at night. Undoubtedly, however, the time they spent alone was important not only to the health of the Rochester's marriage, but to the overall health of the household. Edward and Jane used the time to discuss the events of the day, future goals, and present decisions, and in this they were able to make sense of all of the newness in their lives as well as the challenges of parenthood. It was also the time in which they made decisions regarding their family's future. In this sense, their alone-time served a very practical purpose. Without it, there no doubt would have been a lack of consciousness in their daily routine that would have led to some form of conflict. As it was, even in taking the time to consider what they wanted for their future, there were still moments in which things felt entirely chaotic and disorganised.
And then there was the less practical, but equally important, intimate aspect of time shared between just Edward and Jane. It had never been made a secret to Jane that her former employer, and then husband, was a sexual man. Not, of course, in some unnatural or perverse way, and not in a way which ever made her feel threatened or uncomfortable while under his employ. It was simply that, in telling of his life so honestly, he had described the times he had shared the bed of women, even if these experiences were shallow and regretful ones. Though Jane had perhaps wished there were not so many empty sexual experiences in his life, she had always understood that his life had been marked by his ability to make choices in the same way hers was. But then they had married, and she was struck by something which had not been made evident to her before. In their first days of marriage, Edward encouraged her in her sexuality- to explore what she wanted to explore, to be opened and honest, to ask questions when she was unsure, and to be ashamed of nothing. With him, and with all the love she had for him, this had been easy and natural. In speaking with other married women, however, Jane had realised this was not a universal experience, that not all women felt like they could express their sexuality, let alone enjoy it. And so to her, and to Edward, sex had always been an integral part of their relationship. It was the manifestation of the trust, and honesty, and love they shared, as well as a grounding force when things felt uncertain. No matter what happened throughout the day, her skin on her husband's skin was a safe place.
. . .
"Oh Henry" Jane said, looking across the carriage and only just noticing the jam stain still on her son's shirt, "You did not remember to change your shirt"
"Sorry Mama"
"Do we need to change it, Jane?" Edward asked, eager to depart for the Eshton's as soon as possible given the lateness of their leaving.
"I think we must, the stain is right on the front of his shirt" she said, sighing before standing up. "Come on, darling. Tell Walters we'll only be a minute".
Though they were only gone a few minutes, by the time Jane and Henry returned to the carriage she found James and Emmy sitting inside with Adele.
"Where is your father? and where is Peter?"
"Peter needed to go to the toilette" Adele explained as Jane helped Henry climb inside. He sat beside his brother, looking rather clean and tidy in his new change of clothes.
Turning back towards the front door Jane saw Walters, their butler, approaching. Walters had been hired four years previously when the task of hiring someone to replace John had been put off far too long and the need for a formal butler to run the estate became evident. It had been difficult to find someone suitable, and certainly difficult to find someone who fit all of the criteria necessary for their position, but when Walters had applied the choice to hire him had been an easy one. He was a man in his fifties with no family since the death of his wife some twenty years prior, and in being unattached he was absolutely devoted to his duties. In truth, he was a man set in his ways having served in far grander homes than theirs, but after he had adjusted to some of the unusual leniencies granted to the staff of the Rochester home, he had taken to the job with professionalism and dependency.
"Ms Rochester, excuse me, but shall I hold off on serving dinner tonight? I assume you and the master will not be returned by that time?"
"No, we will not, thank you Walters. Though if there is any of the food left from our dinner during the week with the Dalton's then it can be offered to the staff. I do not think it would keep another day and I would not like to waste it"
"Very well, miss. They will enjoy that very much. Please enjoy your afternoon".
"Thank you, Walters. Enjoy your day off"
Just then Edward reemerged with Peter in his arms, looking quite ready to leave. He helped Peter into the carriage and made sure he was sitting before turning back around to his wife.
"Mr Rochester, I do hope you enjoy your afternoon, sir "
"Thank you Walters. That is if we ever make it there".
Jane grinned before she was helped inside the carriage. Sitting beside Peter, she double-checked to make sure that all of their children were all accounted for and looked presentable before Edward climbed in and closed the door behind him. He sighed in relief and then tapped the side of the carriage so that it began moving, but Jane suddenly gasped and gripped his arm.
"Oh Edward! My hat!"
"Are you serious?" he asked, his face dropping and stiffening all at the same time, but when Jane grinned and he rolled his eyes.
"You will be the end of me, woman".
Adele giggled and the children followed suit, Edward's face softening instantly.