Six Months In
Kota
"We were so stupid to think any other girl could possibly compare," Gabriel complained, burying his face in his hands as they sat in the living room of Kota's temporary apartment in Washington D.C. Kota, Gabriel, Nathan, Victor, and Luke had met to exchange information, but they'd already taken care of that and Gabriel had moved on to a more personal topic . . . that of girlfriends. "Not that I thought any could, but I didn't think it would be this bad. I meet a fun, cute, artsy girl who's super into me, and the only thing I can do on our dates is compare her to Sang. And she's not Sang."
"It's not like any of us wanted another girl specifically," Victor argued, slouching in his chair. He almost looked defeated. "All of us were happy with her. We just . . ."
"Started wondering if maybe we wanted to be someone's one and only in the long run," Nathan finished for him, playing with the mostly finished soda can in his hands. "Problem is, if we had anything different than the relationship we already had, then what we all really wanted was to be Sang's one and only. And like Gabriel said, there's not another Sang."
"Ever since we came here, I keep thinking about Sang moving on with North," Victor began, "happily, blissfully married." That explained his despondent posture, if that was where his thoughts were. "That's the real reason I've tried to move on with another woman, afraid that Sang already has. After all, we probably left her in her mind, with North being the only one who refused to follow Mr. B.'s plan. So I figured I should try to move on too. But being with another woman doesn't feel right. Every time I go out with Anna, I'd just get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach."
He sighed, running one hand through his curly hair, which had gotten long lately. "She tried to kiss me the other day, but I pretended not to notice, because the moment she tried, all I could think was what if Sang hasn't moved on?What if she would still welcome us back? If that's the case, I don't want to go to her after our mission is finished and say I was unfaithful even for a second, even if we aren't technically together right now."
Luke nodded. "Every time my girlfriend even smiles at me, let alone kisses me or we go out on a date, I just feel like I'm cheating on Sang. She tried to get me to go home with her the other day, but I couldn't do it." He gave a lopsided smile. "I'm pretty sure that was the nail in the coffin of our relationship, but mostly I'm just relieved."
"Yeah," Victor agreed. "I definitely hurt Anna when I dodged kissing her. Part of me was hoping she'd break up with me from that, which obviously means I should break up with her. Not only because of the feelings I still have for Sang, but because of my hope that somehow, miraculously, she will take us back."
"She was always too forgiving for her own good," Kota said, hating the hopeful note in his tone. It felt selfish, even if her taking him back—taking them all back—was what he desperately wanted. "And I get what you mean about dating another girl not feeling right. Honestly, we never exactly ended things with Sang. She and North just ran off because Mr. Blackbourne's plan made her feel abandoned."
He stopped talking, his fists clenching. He was trying not to blame Mr. Blackbourne. They all were. But when his plan was the exact reason Sang had left, it was difficult not to. "It feels more like we're in some weird sort of stasis, with us having no idea where the two of them are or what they're doing."
Nathan heaved a sigh. "I know I was one of the doubters about whether I wanted to share my girl with the rest of you forever when Mr. Blackbourne first started bringing all of this up, but when it came down to it, I partly only ended up dating another girl because I wasn't sure what else to do. My girlfriend is a nice girl, and working for one of the politicians we're investigating, so I thought it would help the mission to give in and date her when she showed so much interest in me. And . . . I was hoping she would help me forget Sang, which was just stupid." He paused to look around at them all. "So . . . we all agree about what we want?"
Gabriel answered, "Sang, Sang, and more Sang. And did I mention Sang? Who cares if we're sharing her? If she's what we want and"—he nearly stumbled over his next words—"and we're still what she wants, who cares if there's ten of us in the relationship?"
Nathan gave a nod that was almost more a jerk of his head. "We've always shared what was most important to us between us." He winced. "I mean, I know that statement isn't completely applicably to Sang, because those were things, but I'm saying that we know how to share." Kota understood what he meant. They'd been taught by the Academy from a young age to share whatever each of them needed. And Sang was very much what each of them needed.
Gabriel let out a string of curses as he smacked the couch cushion next to him. "I love Mr. Blackbourne, I really do, but why did we ever let him talk us into this?"
Kota pushed his glasses up his nose, giving him a moment to think. "Maybe . . . maybe we needed to know for sure that this was what we wanted, both us and Sang. Maybe our relationship will be stronger than ever after this."
Gabriel didn't look convinced as he twisted the rings on his fingers. "Or maybe Trouble and North are happily married and never want to see us again."
"That can't be true," Luke argued. "They loved us. Maybe they're hurt and angry and don't want to see us right now, but no way do I believe they'd never want to see us again."
Victor sat up straight. "I think Luke's right—though maybe Gabriel is too. Maybe Sang and North are happily married and she doesn't want the rest of us anymore, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't accept us back as friends. At the end of the day, we don't know. But what I do know is that I want to be faithful to her, so I'm breaking up with Anna." Kota and the others nodded, all in agreement.
"What about the other three?" Luke asked. "Will they agree to trying to win Sang back?"
Kota's lips pulled down in a frown. "Silas, Mr. Blackbourne, and Dr. Green haven't dated since our mission started." Not that Kota was frowning because he disagreed with their decision, but . . . had Mr. Blackbourne and Dr. Green really felt that they knew their own minds enough to know what they wanted, but not trusted that the rest of them did? Kota might have sometimes struggled a little with things, like when he accidentally caught Sang kissing one of the others or when he wanted her but she wasn't available, but he hadn't had real doubts—not until Mr. Blackbourne planted them there.
Gabriel cursed before echoing Kota's thoughts. "What, so Mr. Blackbourne and Dr. Green decided they knew what they wanted, but that the rest of us didn't?" His tone rose as more anger infused it. "So they ruined everything for what, exactly?"
"Probably because they were most concerned about Sang above everyone else," Victor said quietly. "Though I thought she was happy. If there was a reason they decided she needed the chance to try out other relationships, I don't know what it was. But I'm sure she was their biggest concern."
Gabriel scowled as he threw himself against the back of the couch, crossing his arms over his chest. "Then they should have just talked with her then, not made up this stupid plan that sent her running off into North's arms."
"We will talk to her," Nathan promised. "As soon as we can. And then we won't ever let there be a misunderstanding like this between us again."
~.~
Mr. Blackbourne
Mr. Blackbourne now knew that he'd made the wrong decision in thinking everyone needed one last chance to make sure their polyandry relationship with Miss Sorenson was truly what they wanted. At least, for all of those on this mission. The five who had never had serious relationships—out of Kota, Nathan, Victor, Gabriel, and Luke, only Luke had ever gotten close to girls, but that was more for fun flings rather than anything serious—had gotten girlfriends, but it was obvious from the beginning that their hearts weren't in it.
And those who had had more serious relationships—Mr. Blackbourne, Sean, and Silas—hadn't dated at all. The three of them had been dead certain of what they'd wanted, and he'd now heard the other five speculating on plans for how to win Miss Sorenson back after all this. Their minds should be more on the mission, but since Mr. Blackbourne had created this situations, he didn't have the heart to point that out to them unless and until it became an issue. They were still doing what was needed for the mission, of course, but they were also doing things like staying up late to talk about Sang when they should be sleeping.
Sean paced the floor of the study in their shared apartment, his movements agitated, reminding Mr. Blackbourne that his mind should also be on their mission and not on Miss Sorenson.
"Did your meeting not go well today?" Mr. Blackbourne asked, unable to help his frown. Sean hadn't walked in so agitated a few minutes ago. If something had gone poorly, he should have said so immediately.
Sean cut a hand through the air as though chopping away Mr. Blackbourne's words. "It went fine. That's not what's on my mind."
Mr. Blackbourne's frown deepened. "Then what is on your mind?" Though he suspected he already knew. Was Miss Sorenson ever far from any of their minds? He should have realized how distracted his team would be with her separated from them. He really hadn't been thinking when he'd put this plan together. If Miss Sorenson had gone into the program he'd wanted for her and potentially started dating other men, his team never would have settled. The only reason they were doing as well as they were was because they trusted North with her.
Sean stopped his pacing to point an accusing finger at Mr. Blackbourne. "We're not taking another job after this is over, because our job will be winning back Sang . . . if we still can." He stared pacing again as his tone turned sarcastic. "Though maybe your plan will half work and Sang will discover that North is all she needs after the rest of us abandoned her."
Mr. Blackbourne's heart squeezed at those words. Whenever he was feeling weak or tired, those were his exact thoughts. But that didn't stop him from snapping, "The plan was never for anyone to decide they wanted a traditional relationship. It was to make sure they were happy having something different."
Sean threw his hands in the air in frustration. "We all grew up with messed up childhoods, then we were in the Academy. Of course we were all up for something different in our love lives. When have our lives ever matched anyone else's?"
Mr. Blackbourne didn't snap this time, but his voice was still sharp as he argued, "Those who grow up under such circumstances often want normalcy in their lives more than anyone else. I wanted to ensure that our team, our family, had an opportunity to not feel like they were being forced to choose otherwise."
Sean shook his head. "I know I can only condemn you for all this so much, Owen, because I went along with it too. But we made the wrong choice."
Mr. Blackbourne didn't admit he'd already figured out this was all a mistake, because it wouldn't help anything. As he'd thought when he was first devising this plan, hindsight was 20/20. Though sometimes you apparently only thought that it was.