Author's Note: This chapter focuses on Leonard a little bit more. Time to hashout his character!
Chapter 9
Leonard realized that he will be all alone tonight. Sheldon had gone on his mysterious date. The rest of his friends and Penny decided to go spy on Sheldon. Perhaps, it was better that he kept his distance from them. For some reason Penny didn't seem to have many friends. Not the other waitress or the other actresses she met during casting calls. Now in days she seem to only hang out with them. As uncomfortable as it was he couldn't make his friends choose between him and Penny. He couldn't let her be without her friends. If he had to spend some alone time, that would be fine. He could use time to be alone with his thoughts.
Even though at the very moment he hated to be alone with his thoughts. Things were changing a lot faster. Penny it seemed overnight found a new hobby. She, also, seemed more confident. Maybe, because she seem to be succeeding. Since he first knew her, he seem to always see the disappointment in her face. The one he hated to see the most was when she looked disappointed in him. Everyone thought Penny was this firecracker who put everyone in their place. Whenever they argue Penny will reflect on his side of the argument, and when he had done something stupid or said something hurtful her eyes became duller. She would then sigh and then smile at him. It was those subtle gestures that made him uncomfortable.
He knew he was lucky to be with her. However, luck couldn't change him. It couldn't change how he felt about his own personal achievements. He couldn't help her land a role, or finance a studio project or even get her acting classes due to the cost. He brought her food, flowers, and a nice dress. Despite that he didn't think he was good enough for her and doubted he ever could be. Maybe, that is why, Leonard thought, it was better that they stayed separated.
He felt like academia was a two edge sword. Where he was able to gained scholarly status in the world but that it still manage to separate him from the world. Penny added a bit more of the real world into his life. Where he could see the world without the fear that Penny would laughed at him. Yet, he always found ways to laugh at her and even her friends. Sheldon, Raj and Howard despite having similar personalities with him earned Penny's trust. After, all they seem to know all about her writing career before him.