Gollum's enraged and terrified shrieks me from unconsciousness. I sit upright in panic when a cool hand descends upon my brow, disturbing the grains of grime and dried blood upon it. My fist is instinctively ready to strike out at my assailant, but I don't have the strength for such a show of defiance. However, I try to shrink away. Another hand settles upon the crown of my head.
,,It's okaui ( It's okay )," a kindly voice murmurs. ,,im feared hon cries would wake cin. I prisoner na- eithel a ho na- secure - but he seems inclined na fits -o histrionics ( I feared his cries would wake you. The prisoner is well and he is secure - but he seems inclined to fits of histrionics )." Feeling completely at ease by hearing Chloe's voice, I open my eyes to look at her beautiful face.
,,Hey you." I say to her and give her a small smile.
,,I had hoped you might rest longer, Becs." I shift, trying to prop myself up with my right arm. I raise myself a little but I'm too weak to stay this way long. Before I can fall, Lostariel's firm hands grip my arm and bear me up. There is a moment of sickening dizziness as my legs swing off the edge of the cot, then I'm sitting.
,,Thank you." I pant. Lostariel's hands hesitate a moment and then move to turn the ring of brass that clasps my cloak. It falls from my shoulders to puddle on the mattress. If I wasn't in so much hurt and pain, I would have taken advantage of this moment and pin down Lostariel on this bed, but right now is not the time.
,,Drink, it will ease your throat." Lostariel says as she passes me a flagon. Its cool rim touches my lips as I take a wary sip. Spring water, clean, cold and fresh slip over my teeth. I take a longer drought, then force myself to pause. I take in the room, where Thranduil and the captain are standing in the room as well as Lostariel.
,,Good king," I say, raising my eyes to Thranduil. ,,I traveled in the company of Gollum for long enough. I can't bear him any longer." Thranduil smiles sadly and nods his head.
,,There is no room prepared that is suited to your situation but there are chambers not far from here that stand ready to house soldiers."
,,What?! Baw, Neuma cannot move. Let nin take care -o hen in nin room, adar ( What?! No, Neuma cannot move. Let me take care of her in my room )." Lostariel argues with her father, not approving of the idea of me moving. It's clear that Thranduil wants to disagree with Lostariel but he decides not to.
,,He tur-'t leave i room no anui circumstances a cin baur na dorth- at hen haer all i anand ( She can't leave the room under any circumstances and you need to stay at her side all the time )." He says sternly and Lostriel nods, while picking me up in her arms and carrying me to her bedroom.
Once we're in her room, Lostariel lets me sit on the edge of her bed. This bed is more luxurious and higher than the last one. We clasp one another palm to palm, my roughened fingers curling over to touch delicate knuckles with skin soft as velvet. For a moment we look into each other's eyes with tenderness and that deep abiding love that neither time nor distance nor bitter labors can dim. In that perfect instant, I feel a bliss that I have almost forgotten myself capable of feeling. It's as if the miserable road behind me has never been walked at all. Then Lostariel's eyes change, widening and seems to darken all at once. Her lips part in dismay.
,,Your hands." She cries softly. She holds my left now with both of her own, her fingers searching the cracks and fissures and the coarse new skin growing over frost-blisters and chilblains. Her gaze is still fixed intently upon my face. ,,What has happened to your hands?" I use my right palm to cup her slender elbow. My fingers snag on the fine silk and through it I can feel her warmth, her realness.
,,The hands of a swords-woman are always rough." The sweet pity in her eyes shames me before she can speak her clear protest, I cast down my gaze. ,,I was caught bare-handed in winter lands," I confess. ,,It is nothing but the cost of hard weathering. They shall soften back to their customary coarseness soon enough." The worry upon her brow dims a little and she is able to tear away from my face. Reflexively she looks down, twining her fingers with mine while her other palm strikes the back of my hand as if she might speed my healing. Then her mouth moves in fresh horror and she snatches for my right hand as well, pushing back my sleeve to bare the wrist. Only when she stares from one arm to the other do I understand. She has seen the scarlet bracelet of scarring where Gollum's rope has chafed away my skin and she is looking for its mate upon the other wrist. ,,My captive's halter," I explain. ,,I could not always be trusted to keep hold of it and my first rope was poorly made." When she looks up at me again, her blue eyes are glittering with tears that she refused to shed: tears not of sorrow, I know, but of relief. Her thumb grazes the place on my right wrist where there is still the faint white ring of an old mark.
,,You must learn to take greater care," She says unsteadily, trying to smile. ,,Did your mother always caution you to carry your mittens?" A huff of air that is almost a laugh passes my lips.
,,Yes, she did. And never before have I so rued being a disobedient daughter." Lostariel's own laugh is light and bright as mithril, painted only a little with the lingering anxiety she can not quite hide. She reaches to touch the side of my face, the back of her forefinger striking from the temple to the hollow beneath my cheekbone. Then she sweeps up a trailing tendril of hair and hooks it lovingly behind my ear.
,,You are quite overgrown," She declares. ,,did you not cut it once all the time you were away?"
,,I cut away the worst of it in Lothlorien." I tell her. It's good to have her focus on something other than my wounds. ,,But no. Not once in all the time I was away did I cut it. I did not want to come back looking like a balding cat." The truth is that I haven't thought about my hair unless it was to get it clean again. I know it's still too long.
,,When you have eaten I shall cut it." Lostariel decides. ,,Do not think that you may dissuade me in this, Dúnedain, for I come from a strong-minded stock."
,,Never, my lady." I say with a playful meekness. ,,And I will only eat if you eat with me after we have taken a nice warm bath together." Lostariel tilts her head to one side in consideration.
,,I certainly wouldn't say no to that." Again she looks down, this time taking in the garments of drab green and rusty brown, with their extravagant appliques and dainty needlework. ,,Luthien has taken good care of you, I see." Lightly she fingers on the stitches. ,,The stitching is very fine." I tuck my head to look at her slender and sublimely skilled hand and take it. I slowly remove the ring from my finger and slide it on hers. I hear Lostariel gasp as she looks down at the ring before her eyes find mine.
,,Lostariel, in hi chaotic ambar, cin are nin calm. With cin bui nin haer, im am complete. Cin are i mel -o nin cuil, a im beri- cin o all evil. Im don't anír- na guin- ú- cin. With hi echor, im gwedhi- myself na cin ( Lostariel, in this chaotic world, you are my calm. With you by my side, I am complete. You are the love of my life, and I protect you from all evil. I don't want to live without you. With this ring, I bind myself to you )." Lostariel doesn't say anything. ,,I know this ring isn't as special as the ring of Barahir, but -" I'm shut up by her lips on mine.
,,It's anything I want." She tells me when she looks at me again. ,,I love you so much and I am blessed to have you return to me, Neuma." She smiles at the ring on her finger and lays her palm upon my chest.
,,How can I not return?" I ask. ,,When such a welcome awaits me."
,,Remember it." She says, almost fiercely. ,,You know not what it is to be the one who waits." Lostariel caresses my cheek. ,,You need some sleep, love. Go to sleep and don't worry, I'll be not far." She gently lays me down on the bed and kisses my forehead before leaving the room. I lie motionless in this familiar space, unable to move or to form any thought but the one that fills my heart and dazzles my reason and soothes my battered body. I am home.