In the morning light Pen was sitting in her room, as she was reminiscing on each and every conversation that happened lately. Today there would be another ball she had to attend. She felt like she could not face neither Colin or Eloise, or any Bridgerton for that matter. Spending another night as the wallflower she was… Even being engaged, still it felt like nothing had changed for her really. She still remembered the glare El send her after Colin left them both in the garden. There was so much pain, hate and disappointment.

She sat there writing another issue, as she was still thinking what she should and should not include. Does she really want to continue being Whistledown even? Should she tell him she was going to publish again? She was holding off for his sake lately, but it was killing her to not be able to write.

Everything felt like the time stopped lately. She was doing everything society expected her to do. Promenade, being lovely and bubbly. She wished at least somebody would know how she truly felt. How hard indeed it was to play pretend when it felt like her whole world was crumbling down bad.

As she got ready for the ball, she hidden the envelope in her usual place under the carpet and left, giving her room one last glance.

As she entered the ball with her family, her eyes instantly went looking for him in the room, but she didn't see him. Maybe he's just not going to attend at all? As she walked in the ballroom, she found her usual hiding spot somewhere in the corner. Listening to one of the couples discussing the disappearance of the Lady Whistledown, she heard some longing and it shocked her how some were actually upset there were no new issues lately. People were missing her and it gave her new prospects of maybe… just maybe not giving it all up, as she was willing to do. As she was listening to one of the newest gossips, she was taking aback by somebody approaching her.

"Good evening." Was it? – Penelope thought.

"Eloise!" Pen was deeply surprised.

"Hi." Eloise lightly said, standing uncomfortably near Pen.

"Hi." Pen simply repeated in a hopeful voice.

"I simply wished to apologize. I was going to see you that night for an entirely different reason. I never wished for him to find out like that." Eloise said.

"He already knew, El, there's nothing…" It really wasn't her fault. – Pen thought. But as she started to speak, Eloise interrupted her.

"No, he didn't know I knew." The was a true regret in El's voice now.

"Well, we can't change much now." Pen said, talking a deep breath.

"I am truly sorry, Pen. I talked to him a few days ago. He wants to forgive you. Give him time, I am sure it will be alright." Eloise lightly touched Pen's shoulder in the attempt of comfort.

"He told you that?" Pen was clearly surprised. Was he really thinking of letting it all go? The other day at promenade she saw him down the road, which only made him turn around and go in the other direction immediately.

"Yes. You know, it can be quite shocking for one to find out. Give him some time." El confirmed. She was on her own way of forgiving Pen, but now she thought it might be easier even if two of them can have a small talk once in a while. It showed her how much she truly missed her best friend indeed. Sometimes time can help, but the next step is the decision one can only made for themselves.

"I am trying. But it's hard. I don't even know…" Penelope inhaled as she could not event finish that thought aloud.

"Don't tell me you think he will can the wedding off?" The shock was too visible on Eloise pale face.

"A part of me fears that." As their eyes met, there were tears standing in Pen's.

"It doesn't sound like Colin at all." Eloise was sure of that. Colin was never someone to give up.

"Maybe you're right, maybe you're right…" Pen chuckled.

"It will be alright." As Eloise lightly hugged Pen, and gave her one last reassuring look, she left Pen standing in the same corner. The one thing Eloise would never know is that how important was the moment in which she chose to have that conversation with Pen.

It seemed like Pen heard all of the latest gossip for now, as there was still no sight of Colin anywhere at that ball. Did he really left her all alone, without even giving her notice? But looking across the room, she saw none of the curious faces looking in her direction with such a question on their faces. As she was about to leave that ballroom, she saw him coming in. She was met with sleep deprived eyes of his, as he just stood there staring at her, not saying a word.

"Mr. Bridgerton." She said in a greeting way, that hopefully would wake him up from his trance.

"Pen. Good. Let's go." He took her hand walked back into the ball room.

"Where are we going?" She asked as he was almost dragging her, near the wall so no any would see this scene.

"We will have to share at least one dance." He said as he took two glasses of refreshing drinks and gave her one of them. His whole body all that time was tense.

"What?" She asked, as she took a sip from her glass.

"So, no one would ask questions. My mother is already concerned there's something going on between you and I." He said as he looked around the room.

"Oh, okay." She decided to not make it worse by mentioning how it was not really great of him to be this late to a ball, leaving her all alone for everyone to see.

As another song started, he held her hand and without any invitation lead her to the dancefloor. As the dance started, he looked her deeply in her blue eyes. Not even for a second did his eyes left hers all though the whole dance. She saw so many new emotions in his, as in hers he was only met with "forgive me". As the song slowed and finally came to an end, he quickly grabbed her hand and led her to the nearest wall.

"Okay, now I can leave." He said talking another glass and finishing it off in one large gulp.

"Wait, I wanted to talk to you." Pen said as he put empty glass down.

"Can we not do it tonight?" He asked somewhat angry.

"You asked me to tell you when…" Her brows slightly raised as she looked at him.

"You're going to the Town?" He asked in a low voice, his whole body even more tense now.

"Yes." She looked at him in a hope he would say something, that he would want to go with her maybe. As much as she feared his involvement, now it was all she wanted. She needed at least something.

"Well, have a safe ride." He said and turned around to leave, but she quickly reached one to grab his elbow and stop him.

"I thought you said…" She started only for him to turn back to her swiftly and threw a cold annoyed look down at her.

"You thought what?" His voice was getting even more angry now, even though he tried to keep it low for no one to hear.

"You said you were worried." She said pleading. Wasn't it what he said? Didn't he say that she could always come to him? Didn't he say that he didn't want her being alone in that part of town? Didn't he asked to tell him and go together the next time? Was she delusional or why is he so mad now?

"And you said you can take care of yourself without my help." There it was. Colin's eyes were crushing into hers with such hurt and anger she haven't seen in him yet.

"Colin…" She squeezed his elbow a bit.

"What? What else do you want me to do? I offered my help and you refused it. I don't want to hear it again." He jerked his arm away from her grab.

"I want you to go with me." Tears appeared in her eyes.

He stood there looking at her for what felt like ages. None of them were speaking. He could hear her heart beating, event when the next song started. She could feel his hot breath on her face. They were having a discussion of where that was a good idea without any words. Their face expressions changing emotions. Brows raised and lips parted. Annoyance on his face swept away with hurt and then with worry. Her tears changed with fear, as the hope appeared.

"Okay. Let's go." He said and walked away from the ballroom, as she followed him outside.