~~000~~
Tales of the Multiverse Bit 241
"Why are you stalking us, you creeps?! You're all a bunch of losers! Just leave us alone!"
"Fuck you! Why do we need to follow the likes of you?! I so wanna strangle you right now!"
As Kouta Fujiki and Sora Aozora exchange heated words, Crusher the Highlands Goat and Marcus Reservoir catch up with Sharpshooter Jane and Soaphie Lapislazuli. Little do they know, something is about to drop from the sky.
~~000~~
While heading to the cafe in Lovebloom City, Chrys Heart and Romance Detective, both members of the DAN Army, paused as they spotted a suspicious and thin young man on the streets.
"Hey guys, you're all cops, right?" the shady young man assumed.
"Don't lump us in with those pigs!" Dan Mandel exclaimed in annoyance.
"Remember, Chrys is a cop too," Elise Pearson pointed out.
"I wasn't referring to her." Dan argued.
"I am merely a detective." Romance Detective corrected, "However, my subordinate happens to be a member of the Police Force." she pointed out.
"Please don't introduce me as your subordinate..." Chrys chastised, "... we're suppose to be partners.'' she lamented.
"Regardless!" the young man dismissed, "You're looking to whoever robbed the museum last night, am I correct?'' he inquired with a smirk.
"Um, yes, right...'' Chrys confirmed.
Denton "16-Years Old" Gibson crossed his arms, "What's it to ya?" he questioned.
"In that case, I may or may not have some intel for you...'' the young man claimed.
"Wait, you?" Dan asked with a raised eyebrow, "Some sketchy guy has intel for us?" he inquired, "You're not fooling anyone." he stated.
"Anyway." Mandy Rosal interjected, "We should at least listen to what he has to say and see if the intel is useful or not." she suggested.
Chrys nodded in agreement, "Sir, if you know something about the case, it would be best if you just went ahead and told us." she admonished.
The young man then grinned smugly in response, "Well with that attitude, maybe I don't know anything at all!" he declared, "Have a nice day, ladies!" he expressed.
"With that kind of mindset and that unattractive face of yours... " Brick McArthur continued, "... it's clear to everyone that you're clueless." he stated with a smirk, causing the others to chuckle at the irritated young man.
"And he's as skinny as a twig." Shuuhei Shinozaki remarked.
Isamu Oohori then flexed his fingers, "Looks like I've found the perfect target to blow off some steam." he said with a grin that made the young man uneasy.
"Let's calm down, guys." Elise spoke up.
"Wait." Romance Detective piped in.
Shaking off the fear that he felt, the young man turns to Romance Detective with a grin, "Oh, so you're interested, hmm?" he mused.
"Detective, we can't go around cutting deals with a shady character and umm..." Chrys trailed, "... ugly character." she concluded with the rest snickering in response, "We can solve this case without his help." she declared.
"We should hear him out." Romance Detective reasoned.
"Are you nuts?!" Trixie Lulamoon exclaimed in disbelief.
Chrys facefaulted in response, "Okay fine." she conceded before turning her attention back to the young man, "You can start by telling who you are exactly." she beckoned.
"I am Lupin McLupin!" the young man introduced himself, "But that's not important here, I need something from you." he stated.
Shady Person
Lupin McLupin
Lupin is a young man with a tall stature, he had a lanky frame and a fair complexion, he had a short messy black hair and he had an amber-green tareme eyes. He wears a white coat with lime-colored interior over a black t-shirt with a nuclear logo, he wears black jeans and a pair of white sneakers. He wears a small vintage reading glasses.
"And pray tell what it is?" Mandy asked in annoyance.
Lupin then responded by presenting everyone a poster of a young girl with blue hair tied in pigtails.
"What the heck is this?'' Kafuu Kalawaiʻa asked.
"There's a certain concert tonight that I must absolutely acquire a ticket to..." Lupin trailed, "... if you get one for me, I might be willing to talk." he requested.
Denton immediately recognized the girl on the poster, "Canary?" he exclaimed, "Canary is performing here tonight?!" he said in surprise.
"Do you know the girl in the poster?" Honne Nohotoke inquired.
Denton nodded, "Of course!" he answered, "Canary is a well-known pop idol and I happen to be a fan of hers." he mentioned.
"Step aside, shorty!" Lupin demanded, "I am Canary's number one fan!" he declared.
Denton raised an eyebrow, "What's the issue?" he asked, "I never claimed to be her biggest fan, I just enjoy her music." he clarified.
Elise shook her head, "This is absurd." she said in disbelief.
"An impossible task." Romance Detective declared, "Let's go, Romance Cop and friends." she beckoned.
"Sorry, sir." Chrys apologized, "But looks like you're out of luck." she commented.
"No!" Lupin squawked in panic, "See!" he yelped, "This exactly why I am asking you!" he said, "I know you've got connections!" he claimed.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Chrys replied, "Please stop following us." she chastised.
"And while you're at it, please do go jump over a bridge." Dan added.
"Dan!" Chris Pearson scolded in disapproval.
"What?" Dan yelped, "It's a lot easier in getting rid of this motherfucker." he reasoned with a blank look.
"But I can help you!" Lupin insisted, "I swear!" he cried out, "I saw them!" he claimed, "I saw them last night!" he furthered, "The thief!" he pointed out, "Just get me a ticket to Canary's concert and I can tell you more!" he pleaded in panic.
"You're asking for our attention now that you're in tears." Brick said with a blank look.
"Please!" Lupin begged, "I have to go to that concert!" he insisted, "I already made all the preparations!" he shared, "I have to see Canary!" he cried out, "I love her!" he declared.
"And now you're begging for us." Brick said with a blank look.
"Even I don't cry like this whenever I can't go to a concert." Denton admitted.
"Love you say...'' Romance Detective trailed.
Elise facepalmed in response, "Here we go again." she muttered.
"If you're such a big fan, you should've bought tickets in advance like everyone else." Chrys chastised.
"They were all sold out by the time I..." Lupin trailed before shaking his head, "... look, it doesn't matter!" he dismissed, "Just get me a ticket and I'll tell you everything I know!" he beckoned in desperation.
"Leave it to us!" Romance Detective accepted.
"D-Detective!" Chrys squawked in shock, "You can't be serious!" she exclaimed in disbelief.
"This is a case of love, Romance Cop." Romance Detective replied, "It's our duty to solve it!" she declared.
"Our real duty to solve is finding the thief!" Chris exclaimed.
"My only duty is to uphold the law!" Chrys added, "Not get some concert tickets for a shady fanboy!" she exclaimed.
"Romance Cop and friends..." Romance Detective trailed, "... we must not forsake this lovestruck man." she reasoned, "Even if his intentions are questionable." she added.
"Enough verbal abuse!" Lupin exclaimed before handing Chrys a piece of paper, "Here's my address!" he presented, "Bring me a ticket or the deal is off!" he threatened.
Dan's anger became palpable, "Are you making threats towards us?" he questioned with his voice filled with rage, "Do you desire a fist in your mouth?" he bekoned with a fierce demeanor and was prepared to attack Lupin but was restrained by Ninja Dave Bauza and Brick.
Lupin, feeling intimidated by Dan's words, promptly ran away like a scared puppy.
"That was quite the situation." Ninja Dave commented.
"Are you sure about this, detective?" Chrys uttered in concern.
"That man could hold the key in solving this case." Romance Detective replied.
"What if he doesn't?" Chrys asked.
"Then we'll solve it on our own." Romance Detective answered.
"You know we can solve this case, all on our own, without that moron's help!" Dan pointed out.
"It's worth the risk." Romance Detective replied.
Chrys sighed in response, "Well..." she trailed, "... if you're that set on it, then I had no choice." she conceded, "Besides, it's not like we have any other leads." he admitted.
"We need to find him a ticket." Romance Detective beckoned.
"Yeah but to where?" Trixie asked.
"Oh, don't worry about that." Chrys reassured, "I'll just give him mine." she revealed.
"Really?" Elise uttered in surprise.
"You're a fan?" Romance Detective assumed, "That was an unexpected twist...'' she commented.
Chrys shook her head, "N-No..." she trailed, "It's not like..." she furthered, "... ahh, I'll explain everything at lunch!" she declared.
"Yeah, I am getting hungry." Chris admitted.
And so, the group headed towards the cafe. Honne turned to Denton, "What about you, Denton?" she called out, "Are you planning to purchase tickets?" she asked.
"I already have a ticket." Denton responded. "However, it's for her concert in Neo-City in the upcoming weeks, so I can wait." he explained. "Moreover..." he paused, "... I heard that she's going to collaborate with Adagio Dazzle." he mentioned.
"A collaboration concert with Adagio?" Trixie uttered out loud, "That sounds wonderful." she remarked.
Later in the day, at a cafe in Lovebloom City, inside the establishment, all individuals are gathered around a single table, enjoying their lunch when Chrys decided to initiate a conversation.
"I'm not normally upfront about this because sometimes people gets weird when they find out that you're related to a celebrity but...'' Chrys trailed, "... Canary is actually my cousin." she revealed, "Whether I tried to hide it or not, we look enough alike that it usually comes up anyway." she explained.
"Upon closer inspection, you do have the same face." Romance Detective admitted.
"Based on the color of your hair and eyes, you do bear a resemblance!" Denton pointed out, "Canary just appears more youthful." he concluded, "I hope you don't take offense." he expressed.
"None taken." Chrys reassured, "Canary is much cuter than me and she's an idol after all." she reasoned.
"You mustn't speak ill of yourself, Romance Cop." Romance Detective beckoned.
"It's only the truth." Chrys insisted, "I'm mature enough to admit my shortcomings." she admitted.
"At least you're honest." Elise acknowledged before facefaulting, "Unlike Dan over here." she pointed out.
"Hey!" Dan yelled before smiling casually, "But I don't deny it." he admitted.
"Glad that you're being honest, Dan." Chris uttered sarcastically before taking a bite of his burger.
"Anyway, now you know one of my secrets." Chrys said, "Can I ask you something in return, Detective?'' she requested.
"Go on." Romance Detective beckoned.
"Your rose..." Chrys trailed, "... do you ever take it out?" she asked, "I mean, doesn't it get in the way when you're eating?'' she furthered.
"She has a point." Mandy said in agreement.
"I've had this rose from my mouth since birth." Romance Detective answered.
Everyone snaps their heads towards her and gave her a weird look, "From birth?" Ninja Dave uttered in disbelief, "Seriously?" he furthered, "Are you fucking serious?!" he exclaimed.
"R-Really?" Chrys uttered in surprise, "Wouldn't it be withered by now?" she pointed out.
"As long as their is love in this world..." Romance Detective trailed, "... this rose will never die." she declared rather cooly.
"I say it's plastic." Dan quipped.
"How romantic." Chrys commented, "Even if it doesn't really make any sense." she admitted.
"Ditto." Mandy uttered in agreement.
"It seems you all still have much to learn, Romance Cop and friends." Romance Detective pointed out.
"You're always acting so mysterious, of course we'd get confused." Chrys reasoned.
"We'd understand better if you spoke more plainly every once in a while, you know?" Mandy pointed out, "Then again..." she trailed, "... we'll probably get used to it since we've got used to Dan's ramblings." she stated.
"Damn straight!" Dan exclaimed in agreement.
"Don't pat yourself on the back." Trixie grumbled.
"Well then..." Chrys trailed, "... let's get going." she beckoned, "I just hope that Lupin guy can actually help us out." she expressed with a hopeful expression.
"Yes." Romance Detective replied in agreement.
"If he fails to comply." Dan added, "He's definitely getting a ticket to Painsville!" he announced.
"I agree with Dan." Ninja Dave chimed in.
"Me too." Kafuu added.
"Just don't kill him." Elise muttered.
After finishing their lunch and preventing Chris & Honne from ordering more, the group left and headed to their next destination.
Later that day, the members of the DAN Army, Chrys and Romance Detective arrives at a strange garage located somewhere in the city where they came across Lupin waiting for them.
"Ah, you're early." Lupin mused, "Welcome to my lab!" he expressed, "Now hand over the ticket!" he demanded.
"Hand over the information first!" Dan demanded back.
"I wish you asked politely but here..." Chrys trailed before handing Lupin a white piece of paper.
Lupin's face slightly flustered, "A real ticket for Canary's concert!" he exclaimed in delight, "Hmmmm..." he hummed out loud, "... excellent!" he cheered, "Now I can..." he was saying something but is interrupted.
"Excuse me!" Chrys yelled out loud, "But I think it's time you hold up your end of the deal." she reminded.
"Hmm?'' Lupin hummed out loud with a smug smirk
"You said you saw the thief last night, now spill it out!" Brick demanded.
"Tell us who it is already." Chrys added.
Lupin shrugged his shoulders in response, "I made that all up." he confessed, "I just wanted to see Canary." he reasoned.
"Why you little...'' Dan growled in anger.
"So this was all a waste of time..." Chrys trailed, "... what in the world possessed you to lie to the police?" she asked in annoyance.
Lupin let's out a blissful smile, "My deep feelings of love!" he answered, "They spoke to me through telepathy." he furthered, "Yes, my love for Canary drove me to do this!" he declared
"Dear Lord, you are insane!" Trixie exclaimed in disgust.
"You are nothing but a piece of trash!" Mandy added.
"If the path of to true love is what you seek..." Romance Detective trailed, "... lies will only lead you to astray." she stated.
"What do you know?" Lupin huffed in response, "Now that I can get to that concert..." he trailed, "... my feelings will definitely reach her!" he exclaimed, "And oh, since you guys, did end up being kind enough to bring me a ticket, I guess I owe you one." he admitted.
Elise raised an eyebrow, "You guess?" she questioned.
"My skills may actually come in handy for you." Lupin replied, "I am a scientist you know." he shared.
"Okay that's enough!" Chrys shouted, "This is obstruction of justice!" she pointed out, "You're under arrest!" she declared.
Lupin chuckled in response, "I thought this might happen, so I've already prepared my escape!" he exclaimed before throwing a small ball on the floor, which then exploded, releasing a huge chunk of smoke, "You won't stop me from seeing my sweet Canary!" he declared, "Hahahahahaha!" he let's out a diabolical laughter before disappearing.
"A smoke bomb?!" Chrys squawked in shock, "Ah, shoot!" she cried out, "Where'd he run off to?!" she questioned.
"Fuck!" Dan cursed out loud, "Where is he?" he demanded in anger, "Where?" he huffed, "Where?" he wheezed, "Where is he?!" he exclaimed while looking all over the place.
"Trixie can't see a thing!" Trixie yelled in panic.
"Evading arrest?" Romance Detective uttered out loud, "Is there something causing his love to grow so twisted?'' she questioned.
After the smoke dissipates, Lupin is nowhere in sight, not even his shadow can be found.
Chrys facefaulted, "I think that's just the kind of person he is." she replied, "You heard what he said right?" she beckoned, "His love for Canary spoke to him, he's crazy." she commented
"His love spoke..." Romance Detective muttered.
"I don't think he meant it literally." Chrys pointed out.
"Yeah, like Chrys said, he's crazy." Mandy said in agreement.
"His phrasing was strange." Romance Detective acknowledged, "He called it telepathy." she recalled.
"You really shouldn't take that guy so seriously." Chrys advised in concern.
Suddenly, Chrys' radio began to make some sounds when the voice of Heather Murphy was heard, "Romance Cop!" the chief called out, "You there?" she asked.
Chrys immediately answered her radio, "Chief!" she replied.
"The vase just turned up." Heather revealed, "I need all of you to retrieve it." she ordered.
Chrys nodded in response, "Yes, ma'am!" she complied before ending the call.
"Guess the only issue we have now is figuring out who the thief is." Mandy pointed out.
Chrys nodded in response, "I believe so." she said in agreement, "I think we should go and get that vase back to the museum." she beckoned.
"What about Lupin?" Trixie asked.
"Oh we'll see him again." Dan replied, "If he thinks that we'll let him get away for tricking us, then he had another thing coming." he declared.
"I'm with Dan on this one." Ninja Dave said in agreement.
"Count me in!" Denton added.
"YEAH!" Oohori and Shinozaki roared at the same time.
"By all means, please do kill him." Elise beckoned rather bluntly with a blank look.
A/N: Inspired from someonestupED, damnlastwords, Jamesdean5842, Hope the Victor and Ace Neptune. All OCs and concepts not created by moi were given permission for me to use by it's respected creators.