Relationship
It's been a week since I started staying with Sendoh in his apartment to prevent Sawakita harass or bother me. Fortunately, has nothing happened.
Since Sawakita got punched by Sendoh that day, he didn't dare show his face again. He didn't come back try to contact me, or go to the company. It seems like he has learned his lesson. With the situation resolved, I told Sendoh that I wanted to come back to my apartment. I don't want to burden him more, besides I practically feel like a busybody having to see what happens in his personal life.
The other reason is...
"Do you want to return to your apartment today? Your ex will surely cause problems again. Stay here one more week." Suggests Sendoh, supporting his back at the door with only a white towel covering the lower part of his body. I deny with the head in response.
"The other reason why I want to leave as soon as possible is because he has been being demanding. We used to fuck 3 days a week, but since I started stay with him, he keeps asking for more. He tells me that he is just collecting the payment. At first, I agreed because he was very excited and just wanted to feel pleasure. However, when I came to my senses, that's when I realized that he asks me too often. Is exhausting!
I haven't told him yet, but I'm planning not to have sex with him next week. Nothing at all. I just hope he can handle it.
"He probably won't go to my apartment, so today I will return home. Anyway, hurry up and get dressed. Already almost seven." I do the same hastily, telling him that if he is late again, it would be that time of the month in which he will accumulate three tardies.
"Can we not go to work?"
"Today is Maki's farewell!" I turn to the side to avoid his hand that is about to surround my waist, I grab his belt and put it on. After wait for him to get dressed, we left the apartment together and we go to work.
The duration of the contract is 4 months. The next week will be the last week of Maki contracts in our company. Traditionally, the IT department organizes a party farewell for the it. Several superiors have invited Maki to come back to work here later for him, but Fujima and I think the talents like Maki should stay and work in big enterprises. Compared to companies small, he will have more job opportunities for develop and grow.
I look at the desk next to me. Fujima has been looking at the screen, with his hands glued to the keyboard, motionless. During this last week, Fujima seems to be distant and quiet. And the atmosphere between him and Maki has changed.
Recently, Maki came up to me and told me that since he confessed to Fujima, he has been quiet and has started to avoid it. I told Maki that maybe Fujima needed some time to think. As we get older, we no longer casually date someone just for fun. At our age, we no longer want to have a short-term relationship.
In Sendoh's case, he definitely enjoys being single and free.
As for Fujima, I understand that he needs some time to think about, but I can't stand to see his usual character happy and bright depressed and unhappy. After the meeting in the conference room, I hold him and try to ask him about what happened.
"Something is wrong with you. What happened? You have been very reserved."
Fujima laughs dryly after hearing my ask. "You always see through me, don't you?"
"You are an open book, Fujima. Anyone can see that you have things spinning around in your head."
"Is that so?" he murmurs, leaning back in his chair with frustration.
"Yeah. So what is it about?"
Fujima stays staring at the ceiling for a moment before answering. "You told me to ask Shinichi about the person who he like it, so I did it."
"Yeah."
"He said he liked me. Yep. And everyone in the company knows it."
"And then?"
"Well, these last few days he seems... distant?"
"I noticed that you both seem a little distant from each other from the other." I confirmed.
Fujima's face looks sadder. Such he may not realize it himself, but he likes it a lot to Maki.
"What do you think is wrong with him? Have I done something wrong?"
"Well, what happened after he confessed to you?"
"It took me a little off guard. I didn't know how to act and there were many things to think about before I could answer him. And now he is very distant and silent."
"He probably thinks you don't like him."
"That I do not like it? I mean, I haven't answered nothing. Why would he think that?"
"He would think that because you haven't said anything, Fujima. Imagine that you confess to someone and begin to be quiet or distant. What would you think?" I explained to him, trying to show him Maki's perspective. Fujima has always been slow and naive when it comes to love because he has never had a serious relationship. I don't blame him for not thinking that his silence could cause a misunderstood.
"But... I like him," Fujima murmurs.
"Well, he doesn't know. I think he has lost some of self-esteem. He probably thought that you didn't like him and you didn't mean to be rude to him."
"Oh..." Fujima is surprised when he hears me say that. Seeing his face dejected with an expression of guilt, I get up from the chair and give him a pat shoulder to comfort him.
"We are going to eat something. I'm sure the restaurant is full of people."
"Hmm."
"And you better clarify this matter to Maki immediately before he gets depressed." I say before rub his cute little head. He just nods with his eyes full of sadness. He gets up and follows me on the way to the restaurant.
Usually it's Sendoh and I who argue and we make the atmosphere tense during the lunch, not Fujima and Maki. Now, it's the other way around. I exchange glances with Sendoh as we watch the other two. Maki calmly eats his lunch while Fujima keeps looking at him nervously.
Anyone could easily tell that something happens between them.
"What's wrong with Fujima?" Sendoh asks quietly when we return to the company after lunch. I look at Maki walking ahead and then I see my friend who follows him like a walking corpse.
"Fujima assumed things and he did not take into account Maki's feelings. I thought about the reason why Maki distanced himself and I explained it to Fujima," I murmured. Carefully slow my voice so that the other two do not heard about them.
"This is worse than expected." Sendoh can't help but laugh, then turns around and looks around. When seeing that there is no one nearby, he immediately winks at me. "Fujima is slow unlike me. I move fast."
"But your hands seem to be faster than your head." I say between my clenched teeth when I feel that he press the waist.
Sendoh just smiles, seeing me walk faster. I take a breath to calm my racing heart and fix my expression.
This indescribable feeling has been appearing off and on since Sendoh beat up Sawakita and he pretended to be my boyfriend. I kept telling myself that he was just acting and that the reason my heart was still beating fast it was because I was scared.
But when Sendoh gently held my wrist and applied ointment, I have to admit that I felt cared for and warm. It's probably because I've been alone and it's happened been a while since someone took care of me. I told myself same thing that I must control my emotions and not cross the line. I have experienced this before, but I immediately realized that it was just a whim that I wasn't really in love, so that I quickly turned the page and forgot about it. I could say that this time it is the same and that it is not as different from my previous experience, but...
I look at the tall man standing next to me waiting for the elevator, he is chatting with a senior from the marketing department with a smile on his face. In the past, every time I saw Sendoh, I just thought he was very annoying, but now every time I see his face, I feel worried suddenly, and I feel a inexplicable emotion that disturbs my heart.
I have been in a friends with benefits relationship for 3 months, and this is the first time I've given myself account of the dangers that this type of relationship entails.
Whenever Friday comes, most of the employees relax and do not have to rush in the work, since they can rest on the weekend, but this Friday seems to be different. A lot of work piles up in front of me. Even Fujima is so busy that he doesn't have time to take his eyes off the computer screen. Our boss is telling us watching and I feel dizzy from looking at the screen. The next time I look at the clock, it's finally time to go home.
After turning off the computer and gathering my things, I head to the restaurant where the party will be held farewell with two colleagues of the same department that are about to get into my car. When we arrive, the other colleagues have already ordered the food and head to the front of the establishment to sing a song while I sit down to eat silence.
"Come on! Rukawa!" Fujima hands me a beer.
I stare at the beer for a second before to shake my head to reject the offer. Instead of, I grab a soda and pour it into the glass. Just think in what happened at the welcome party he makes me want to avoid alcohol tonight. Although everything has already past and, although Sendoh and I have a relationship of friends with benefits, I still think it was a mistake.
If I could go back in time, I would definitely would prevent it from happening.
I am surrounded by a group of people who have fun drinking beer and wine, while I chose drink a soda. Maki who is sitting next to Sendoh is half forced to sing by Hanagata. Maki gets up, he walks forward, and chooses a sad song love to sing. I can't help but look at Fujima whose face has a serious and thoughtful expression.
When he finishes singing, Maki hands the microphone to Hanagata and sits back down. I look at my friend and see his lips open and close as he looks at Maki several times. He takes the phone out of his backpack and leaves the place to answer a call.
"Slow down the pace or you will get drunk quickly." When seeing Maki drinks non-stop, Sendoh rushes to take the glass from his hand, but Maki takes the glass again and he drinks the wine in one go. I have known Maki since he started his contracting and it's the first time I see him drink like that.
"This man drinks wine like it was water! What's up, Maki? Has your heart been broken?" Sendoh asks.
"Fujima hasn't told you anything yet?" I add.
"Not yet," Maki answers, filling his glass again.
"Damn, what is he thinking?" Sendoh murmurs quietly.
"Maybe he really doesn't like me and just doesn't want to tell it to my face."
"It's not like that," I reply.
Maki can't help but smile bitterly and tell me, "silence is also an answer, right?"
I remain silent, watching how the man takes his glass after glass came to the mouth. As much as Sendoh and I persuade Maki, he doesn't want to listen. Now only I can wait for Fujima to come back and let him resolve things between them.
"Are you only going to drink soda tonight?" Seeing that not could persuade Maki, Sendoh let him sit down and continued drinking before turning to make fun of me. His gaze rests on the glass that I maintain.
"No beer? Or does that remind you of what happened in the welcome party?"
"...Shut up," I grumble before taking a sip of my drink. There's no way I'm going to tell him that's the exact reason why I'm not going to drink beer tonight.
Sendoh can't help but laugh out loud when he sees my expression, but after a few seconds, he begins to choking on the fish cake that got stuck in his throat, making me laughing.
"Take this." After calming down, I hand him a glass of water. Sendoh drinks the water in one gulp before stare at me. He surprises me with the look in his eyes.
He seems…soft and happy.
"What are you looking at?"
"It's just... it's the first time."
"Huh?"
"You smiled while looking at me."
I quickly turn my face to avoid his penetrating gaze. Just realize that Sendoh is implying that I rarely laugh or show some emotion when we talk.
I didn't expect him to realize that.
Sendoh continues silently drinking the beer he has in the hand, while I eat the dishes in front of him while I watch my office mates sing animatedly in front of me. As time slowly passes, I notice that Maki is starting to shake from having drunk a lot. Just then, Fujima returns to the party. When he sees how drunk Maki is, his eyes wide open with horror.
"Yes, he is drunk. He continued drinking as if he had the broken heart." Sendoh nods at Maki. Seeing the eyes of Fujima ready to blame him, Sendoh quickly adds, "do not look at me like that! I tried to stop him, but he wouldn't stop."
"It's almost nine. You takes Maki back home." I suggest. Fujima sighs, grabs Maki by the arm and hands goes through his neck.
"Alright. We will return first. You come home safely, okay?"
"You too. And drive carefully. Maki's car it is not cheap." Sendoh smiles satisfied. Fujima gives him one kick his legs making me smile.
The party continues with people singing and drinking. After a while, I check the time and see that it is almost half past nine. It's time to go.
"I Leave." I tell Sendoh and my other office-mates. Sendoh gets up and follows me after say goodbye to others. I frown slightly, doubting his intentions. As soon as we left the restaurant, I ask him immediately.
"Why you follow me?"
"I'm going with you."
"And your car?"
"It's parked here. I'll pick it up tomorrow. I'm drunk and I can't drive," he answers. I look at him from his feet to head. He's had a few beers, but he seems not drunk. How suspicious.
"It's clear you're not drunk!"
"But it is true that I have had a few drinks. It would be very bad if they caught me like this."
"I'm sure your alcohol level has not yet exceeded the limit." I responded.
Sendoh steps forward and he leans closer, his eyebrows meet at the half. "Movies teach if you drink, don't drive, but do you encourage me to drive?That is not right. You has to take on some social responsibilities, Mr. Rukawa."
"Good. I'll take you to your apartment." I offer myself before walking to my car.
"No, you will only waste time. I will accompany you to your apartment and I will stay with you for one night."
I raise eyebrows at his suggestion. "Why would you want to come to my apartment to sleep?"
"So you don't have to waste your time leaving me."
"But..."
"I let you sleep in my apartment for a week, didn't I?Can't you let me sleep in your apartment one night? How cruel," he excuses himself, making me look at him. I know exactly what he want to happen.
"Fine. Just sleep!" I grant, without having the energy to argue with him.
Sendoh's eyebrows raise in delight as he smiles cunningly. "Yeah! I promise I'll just sleep."
"Whatever."
"We'll talk about that tomorrow morning." He raise eyebrows at me. I shake my head helplessly as I open my door car. I hear a soft whistles behind me, making me sigh. While I look to the man who opens the passenger seat door and he settles in, I can't help but curse in my heart.
Can he stop thinking about sexual things for a while?What a pervert.
In the end, we get home and Sendoh does exactly did what he said. We went to bed and slept. It was not like that at next morning because he started touching me. Unfortunately for him, I wasn't in the mood, so I told him to stop. He simply raised his hands in surrender and he left my apartment at ten in the morning.
The apartment fell silent again. I decide do some chores and clean my room for hang out. Then I go to sleep and when I wake up, it's already night. My eyes sweep the room clean until they land on the hanging calendar of the wall.
The date next to the red number evokes a memory that I had almost forgotten. I keep looking at the number for a moment, then I look away and turn to the bathroom to take a shower. After changing my clothes, I continue doing the other pending chores.
It's already morning when the vibration constant on my phone to wakes me up. I pick it up and see some messages from Fujima.
"Happy Birthday!"
"You are already 27 years old! Stay healthy and continue having fun! I hope you meet your love life soon! I also wish you to win the 30 million lottery!
(Don't forget about me when you win the lottery!)"
"I owe you a birthday present. I'm broke, but I will treat you to chicken noodles tomorrow, is that okay? Good?"
I can't help but smile deliberately and send him a thank you to Fujima. I don't forget to ask if he clarified the things with Maki. Seeing that Fujima simply responds:"Everything is in order." I feel relieved. When leaving the chat with Fujima, change to the crowded group of IT department, and messages labeled with my name appear one after another. All are congratulations and happy birthday from my companions. And there are also some stickers.
I read the messages with joy. The department gives great importance to each colleague's birthday. Every time someone has a birthday, they send messages to congratulate him. I even tried to wait for a colleague to send a happy birthday before I wake up. Yeah, I wouldn't have looked at the calendar yesterday by chance, I would have almost forgotten that today is the day I opened the eyes to see the world.
For me, today is just another day in my life. Normally, on my birthday I stay in my room or return to my apartment after bring offerings to the monks in the morning. Basically, I don't go out to celebrate and I don't think it's special. I have never cared about my birthday, just like the person who gave birth to me didn't care.
It's been a long time since I received wishes from my mother's birthday, and I guess she doesn't want to remember the painful days of giving birth to a parasite like me.
I put the phone down, get up to shower, drink a cup of hot coffee for breakfast and I head to the nearby temple. It's been many years since I went to a temple, and in recent years I have been very bothered by headaches.
Since today is my birthday, I want make merits and pray for me. Today is a holiday, and many people came to the temple to make merits after purchasing offerings for the monks, I extend my hand to receive his blessings and baptism with holy water, and then I will feed fish. After throwing breadcrumbs on my hand to the fish pond, I quietly enjoy of the breeze blowing on my face, looking at the clear sky blue and the vast view of the river, without rushing. I like views such as the river or the sea because they calm my restless mind.
Ding!
My phone rings. I pick it up and see that Sendoh has just send a message.
"Happy birthday, Kaede! It turns out that your birthday wasn't far from mine! I don't know what gift I should give you. Can I gift myself? Hahaha!"
Seeing the message from him, I can't help but sigh. Really he makes fun of me even on my birthday. How ridiculous. And his birthday wasn't far from me. That more ridiculous.
I'm about to put the phone in my pocket when it rings again. I immediately answer the call as soon as I see the contact's name.
"Hello, what's going on?"
"Oniisan, happy birthday! I miss you so much!" From the other side of the phone comes the voice excited about Sakura, my 17 year old stepsister. She is the only family member I still have contact. Despite our 10 years difference, I do not feel uncomfortable getting along with her. Sakura is very aware of the conflict between my mother and me. Still, she keeps in contact with me without showing any hatred or anger.
"I miss you too," I say with a smile.
"Meet me!"
"You can also come see me." Sakura guards silence for a while and when she speaks again, her tone becomes cautious.
"Actually..."
"What is it about?"
"Mom asked me to call you and tell you what you should come home today. She said we haven't seen you in months. And that, if we try to call you from her phone, we assumed you wouldn't answer. And since it's your birthday, she thought that it would be great if you came home to see your family."
After listening to her explanation, I feel my heart tremble. What she said is hard to believe. I have never received a birthday wish from my mother. To be honestly, I don't know if she remembers my birthday.
But listening to what Sakura said, that means she still cares about me... right?
"Are you free today? You can come home if you are. Let's have dinner together. I miss you so much, Oniisan." My stepsister begs in a soft voice. I feel that my heart softens.
"Okay. I'll go tonight."
"Really?! Is there anything you want to eat? I will tell mom, let her cook it for you later!"
"Don't worry about that. I can eat what prepare. See you tonight." After saying, I hang up the phone and look at the river in front of me with mixed feelings, both of emotion and of nervousness.
That my mother remembers my birthday makes me happy, but returning to that house means seeing that person. I'll endure it just to see my sister and my mother. However, if possible, I hope that person be far from home.
Just thinking about seeing him makes me sick.
After leaving the temple, I return to my apartment to leave again around five. I don't take long a lot to get to my stepfather's house. Honestly, my apartment isn't that far from there. When I bought my apartment to be away from my family, I still chose one that was close because my mother and stepsister were I worried. If it happened to them something, I could help them and come quickly.
I believe in the saying blood is thicker than water. Even though she doesn't love me or care about me, I love and care about her.
"Oniisan!" A sweet-voiced girl calls me as soon as I get out of the car. Sakura runs out of the house and surrounds me with her arms. I hug her back and rub head of her. She has grown a lot more since the last time we saw each other.
I look away and observe the house that I have in front of me. I lived here for almost ten years and haven't been back since university.
"Finally. I thought you had forgotten the way home." My mother leaves shortly after Sakura. Her expression is indifferent. I can't see even a hint of joy in her when she sees her son that she has not seen in months. I release Sakura to greet my mother, but she starts talking impatiently.
"Let's go inside or all the mosquitoes will enter the home!"
The hope that was still in my heart disappears suddenly. Sakura's face turns sour after hear mom say that. I just sigh before grab my sister's hand and enter the house. Just as we entered the room, a deep voice family speaks.
"Long time no see, Kaede."
My hand that holds my sister tight, see my stepfather standing in front of me makes my body stiff and numb.
"Hello, Uncle Katsu." No matter how reluctant I am, I have to respect it in front of my mother. Uncle Katsu, my father adoptive, he just gives me a smile.
"I'm glad you came home. I've missed you a lot." Not caring about my strange attitude, he looks at me with kind eyes and a soft smile.
People might think how good and kind my stepfather based on his expression, but they didn't know nothing. Only I know how hypocritical and unpleasant it's behind that fake smile of him. It may seem like a good person, but in reality he is an old pervert and disgusting person who takes advantage of any opportunity to touch his stepson.
When I was in high school, my life was basically the same as that of any other child. Except my mother didn't care about me. And when she found out that I was gay, that's where the things went downhill. During that time, uncle Katsu talked to my mother and calmed her down. Later he would come closer to me and try to comfort me by giving me a hug after being scolded by my mother.
I was only 14 years old at that time. It was too much young man to know what his intentions were. It wasn't until I was a senior in high school when I found out that Uncle Katsu kept me under his indiscreet gaze. He also kept close to my body for no reason. He paid more attention to me and he took care of me more than my mother. I didn't suspect anything, although I felt strange.
I just thought it felt bad for me. I didn't question anything until that day. It was after school when I decided to take a nap on the living room couch because I was tired and dream. I was half asleep when I felt someone groped my butt. I got up quickly and I opened my eyes. When I saw who he was, I didn't know how to react. The only thing I knew was that I was terrified.
"You... uncle Katsu, what did you just do?"
"I just came to wake you up. Your mother just finished cook. It's time for dinner." He patted me on the butt while he stared at me with his eyes that shone with a strange affection.
It was disgusting, it scared me to the point of having to locking myself in my bedroom that night.
I wasn't even able to imagine what would have happened if my mother hadn't been home that day.
Even though he had discovered it, he was still maintaining his good and loving father mask. However, he started threatening me and opening the door of my room with the key to enter. That was happening repeatedly, so I stole the key and hid it in someplace.
And when my mother started locking me in the bathroom, he tried to help me by forcing himself in, saying that he would help me escape. He only increased my fear of the dark. Fortunately, he didn't make it because mom let me leave earlier than expected. When I told my mother everything that happened, she just hit me and she yelled at me.
"Isn't it enough that you're gay to embarrass me?! You even go and say that your father harassed you?He is a man! He's not gay like you! He treated you well and is that so? How are you going to repay his kindness? Damn brat ungrateful!"
It was the first and last time I defended myself. The result having spoken made me understand and understand that only I can save myself. Nobody else. Not even my own biological mother.
High school time was basically harder for me. This house was hell, I went back crazy. I only knew how to bear it cowardly when I was young. I tried to pretend that everything was normal. My friends and teachers didn't even realize the situation in which I found myself.
Fortunately, Uncle Katsu changed jobs and had than going to a foreign state to be a salesman and he couldn't come home often. I just had to be careful when he came home two days every month, until I graduated high school and went to college university. The other kids might be worried about the made of moving away from their families, but for me it has been without a doubt the most relaxing and liberating day of my life.
This place is not safe and definitely not my home. If it weren't for my birthday, I would never put a foot in this place.
But today...
"Hurry up and come here! Everyone is waiting for you." Mom grumbles loudly. I can only follow her voice with sadness in my heart.
I don't even know what I'm expecting. Wait for a warm welcome from her seems impossible.
Sakura serves me a bowl of rice as soon as I sit next to her. We eat in silence. I look at my mother only to realize she was frowning at me.
To prevent the place from falling silent, Sakura keeps starting small talks, trying to get into a conversation. Unfortunately, nobody really participated and the atmosphere is uncomfortable and tense now.
"How are you?" asks Uncle Katsu, breaking the silence.
"If your father has asked you something, you have to answer." Mom says with a stern voice when I tries ignore her husband.
I squeeze the spoon in my hand silently and say with a very cold tone. "Same as always."
"This time you look more energetic. It makes me happy to see you like this," he says with a happy voice. He makes me nauseous. I look at my mother when she speaks again.
"You know what, your sister has been working hard on class every day. She plans to become a teacher math. It's hard to make money and I don't know how to pay her license plate number," Mom says out loud as she looks at me with her greedy eyes. Her next words leave me stunned.
"Aren't you rich? How about transferring money to help pay tuition? 5000 yen is enough."
I barely eat what's on my plate, but I feel full. I think I've lost my appetite. Leaving the cutlery, I finally understand why mom asked Sakura to call me at home.
"So you just wanted me to come home for that?"
"Of course! How many times did you answer the phone when I called you?! Don't think that because you are already an adult you can distance yourself from this family so easily!" She looks at me with a disgusted expression. I put aside the look to avoid her gaze and try to calm down.
With the way she's acting, she makes me angry and sadden. I just want to run away and forget about what is passing by, but seeing Sakura's face, I can't.
Mom's laundry business isn't really stable to have it as the main source of income. That's why they depend on Uncle Katsu's salary as seller to maintain the expenses of the whole family.
That's how it was when I was still studying. The saddest thing is that, Mom insisted on sending my sister to study what she wanted. But when it came to me, she didn't believe that was necessary and she told me to leave. I want to be bad and let off steam, but the fact that she didn't get what she wanted and that they didn't treat me as I wanted. Does not mean that Sakura should experience the same as me.
It wasn't Sakura's fault.
"I'm leaving." I get up and grab my backpack. The face of Sakura turns even paler and follows me frantically.
"Oniisan, aren't you going to finish your food first?"
"No, I'm leaving."
"Don't be in a hurry. You can stay here tonight. We've cleaned your room, Kaede," Uncle Katsu suggests. Ignoring his words, I turn and walk. I face my mother, who is frowning, with her frustration and anger visible in her eyes.
"As for the money, I will transfer it directly to the Sakura account next time. Sakura, go to register an account and send me the details." To see me give in, Mom's face softens a little. It hurts me to see she act like this. I take out the car keys and walk away from the house.
I guess I really an ATM for my mother.
"Oniisan!" Sakura shouts with tears accumulated in the corners of her eyes. She takes me by the arms and, with trembling voice, she tells me. "I'm sorry. I did not know that Mom would say that and she would act like that. Otherwise, she wouldn't have asked you for you to come home."
"It doesn't matter." I caress my sister's head, I smile and I tell her. "Come back in and finish your meal. I see you very little. If you want to see me and date me in the future, calls me and I'm come pick you up after your classes."
"I'm sorry." She sobs, wiping away the tears that fall on her cheeks.
"Alright. I'm leaving," I say before getting into my car.
The dark night sky is full of dark clouds and heavy, and it looks like it's going to rain. I stepped on the accelerator and I leave the house behind. I look at the road ahead and bitter smile appears at the corner of my lips.
I am already an adult and yet I still cannot let go of the person who gave birth to me. I am already my own person, but why do I keep waiting for my mother? Does she love me and take care of me?Today has been enough for prove that none of this will come true. Mother had long forgotten my birthday, but Sakura reminded her and she thought was a good one opportunity to force myself to go home and demand some money.
It seems that this year's birthday hurts more than the previous ones.
I didn't want to go back to my apartment for a while, so I drove aimlessly. Initially, I thought of going to the Fujima's apartment, but then I remembered that he's probably with Maki right now, having dinner. No I want to be a third wheel.
My head doesn't know who else to call for a while, so I decide to park the car next to the path. Leaning on the back of the seat, I close my eyes and think for a moment. One comes to mind particular person. I immediately grab my phone and I call that person with a heavy heart.
"Hey, did something happen? Why are you calling at this time? What you need, Mr. Rukawa?"
"Akira, are you in your apartment?"
"...Yeah."
"Can I go see you?"
"You kicked me out yesterday and now you're looking for me?"
"Can I come see you, please?" I beg him in a serious voice. The person on the other end of the line remains silence for a few seconds before responding.
"Okay, call me when you arrive. I'll pick you up."
After hanging up, I start my car and I head to Sendoh's apartment in Ryonan. It takes less 20 minutes to arrive. I call Sendoh immediately, and even a minute later, a tall man in a shirt and white pants goes down to the hall.
"Why did you want to come here suddenly?" ask Sendoh suspiciously as soon as the door apartment closes.
"To claim my gift," I whisper quietly before walk over and place my hand on Sendoh's chest. I tiltled my head and look directly into his eyes before to speak again, with hands caressing slowly the chest of his.
"You said you were going to give yourself as my gift birthday, right? I have come to look for it."
I crack a smile before hooking my hand in the Sendoh's neck, making him fall into a fierce kiss. Sendoh is stunned for a moment, but quickly clears his mind and immediately surrounds my waist with his arm. He kisses me back passionately, corresponding me with the same heat and intensity. His warm lips slide softly against mine. Sendoh pulls away and looks at me with lust and many questions.
"You look a little sad," he says.
"A little," I whisper as I tighten my arms around him. From Sendoh's neck, our bodies press harder until I can feel Sendoh's crotch against my lower belly. A small smile appears on my face before leaning into his ear and asking. "Can you make me happy please?"
"Okay." Sendoh accepts without hesitation.
Our lips meet again, we kiss as we take off our clothes. Quickly, two naked bodies intertwine in bed. The large bedroom is filled with unbearable gasps and loud moans. Sendoh's back is covered of red marks that I left when receiving his soft and warm caresses while I am fucked.
Nothing fills my mind more than lust and pleasure.
By a minute, I forget about the disappointment and the pain that had felt before. I let out a shaky gasp, my body it shudders when I come. I close my eyes and I am left without breath. Sendoh rubs the sensitive part of my neck while he kisses me on the lips. It's not the best way, but he helped me forget the pain for a while.
"Kaede," Sendoh calls me. I limit myself to answering with a low sound, clearly exhausted.
"Is there something you want to tell me?" I open my eyes, meeting Sendoh's soft eyes. Sound of deep breathing is heard clearly in the bedroom.
"Today I returned home." I say in response. I explain a little happened and Sendoh nods in agreement, understanding and does not ask more. Sendoh just kisses my neck and shoulder with his warm, soft lips before leaning towards me, whispering. "It's only eight at night."
"And?"
"Your birthday doesn't end for another four hours, so let me keep giving you gifts until so. How about?" Sendoh suggests with a playful smile. I just snort, shaking my hand towards him. I can't deny that I feel warm for inside after hearing that.
"Happy Birthday." Sendoh strokes my nose before place a soft kiss on my lips. I can feel the tears forming in my eyes. Today I decided to return to home and my own mother didn't even greet me with a happy birthday. While Sendoh, he's just my coworker and my friend, cares more about my feelings.
How funny.
I kiss him back, rekindling the fire that was already there. That night, the room was filled with my moaning, calling Sendoh's name over and over again, mixed with the sounds of our skins crashing. My butt bounced against Sendoh's hips, with my jaw slack as he immersed me in the abyss of desire, without wanting to face reality.
At the end of the night, I couldn't tell if the tears in my eyes that blurred my vision were due to the intensity of pleasure or the scars and sorrows of my heart.
Will be continued...