AIDSy Rose, AIDSy Rose, the children's song goes!
Here is the origin story of a great legend, whose odessy has been passed down from generation to generation, woven deep within the history of Mobius as a victorious cry for the righteous~~
On a dark night in a smelly crackhouse Amy Rose creeps in through the unlocked backdoor. She glances left and right, ensuring that she slides in unseen.
Bright lights stream down upon the scene - a mass of bodies, matted fur and voluptuous motions in all cardinal axes. Unearthly moans emanating from the fleshy hivemind before her.
She is looking for someone - someone in particular.
Rumors have it that Vector the crock [sic.] has AIDS!
She finds him in the corner, squeezing huge croc-sized turds into Charmy Bee the bee's anus, doing laviscous things that are too dark and dank and stinky to describe - go ask Travis for the deets.
Dressed in a bee costume (imagine one that you might find in bulk quantities a Halloween costume store on sale the night after Halloween ends) complete with fake wings, she melts into the scene.
The stinky ole crocc [sic.] doesn't even notice that Charmy One has been replaced by Charmy Two, and thus it begins.
THE SAGA OF...
AIDSy ROSE
"HIV-chan! HIV-chan! Owanakata desuuuu~!" Says Mother Host Core, endearingly upon me. "Have you eaten your delicious CD4 cells today?"
"I have eaten them all, I tell Mother Host Core~!" I tell Mother Host Core. "They were delicious and I have assimilated them with my very organism, I tell Mother Host Core~!" I tell Mother Host Core.
"That's very good, darling, but what did I tell you about narrating your life when you're talking to me?"
"You said I should only do it when a significant change happens to my very existence, I tell Mother Host Core as I blossom into Full Blown AIDS," I tell Mother Host Core as I blossom into Full Blown AIDS.
"Good girl~! You're going to make a certain pink hedgehog very happy when I give you up for adoption~!"
"I- what? Mommy, no~!"
But it was too late. And that's how I began my life in my new home.
Christmas Special Music Plays
The End
Or Beginning...? Beginning...? Beginning...? Beginning...?
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It's a race to see who's the fastest: Faker (Blue Color) or Faker (Black Color)! Except this time it's about who can reach orgasm first.
"I'm gonna prove once and for all that I'm the ultimate lifeform!" roars Shadow as he enters Sonic's fleshy pucker, as though being a top is about expressing dominance over the bottom. It's actually not? But y'all seem to eat that up.
"I bet you're too slow and I gotta beg you for that juice." The blue hedgehog butchers his catchphrases. I made him do that.
"No way, I'm going to cum within the next five milliseconds," says Shadow. In case I didn't specify, this is, in fact, a contest to see who can cum the fastest, not who can make each other cum the fastest. This is what the fast hedgehogs want to find out: who's the fastest and not who makes the other faster. I'm not really sure of the point of this contest or why I'm here. I'm in the corner taking notes.
"Fascinating," I say as I doodle a little picture of a stick figure. The stick figure is driving a car. "Riveting stuff, this fucking."
"CHAOS CONTROL," screams Shadow as he shoves a Chaos Emerald into his butthole and blasts an indeterminate amount of semen into Sonic's butthole. I can't see it so I don't know how much. I'm also not watching because I'm doodling this stick figure driving a car.
"NO FAIR," Sonic sez, pushing Shadow off him. "I told you: No using the Chaos Emeralds! We have to find out who's the fastest naturally!"
"Feh," fehs Shadow. "You're just jealous because I'm the ultimate lifeform and you're a lowlife faker."
"You saw, didn't you?" Sonic sez to me. "You saw him use a Chaos Emerald, didn't you?"
"I dunno," I say. "By the way, I think you have AIDS now?"
Sonic just looks at me.
"Yeah, like, Shadow caught it off AIDSy Rose. That's Amy Rose's name now that she got AIDS. It happened off screen."
"What the fuck are you talking about, Mikey?"
AIDSy Rose, AIDSy Rose, the children's song goes!
Here is the origin story of a great legend, whose odessy has been passed down from generation to generation, woven deep within the history of Mobius as a victorious cry for the righteous~~
On a dark night in a smelly crackhouse Amy Rose creeps in through the unlocked backdoor. She glances left and right, ensuring that she slides in unseen.
Bright lights stream down upon the scene - a mass of bodies, matted fur and voluptuous motions in all cardinal axes. Unearthly moans emanating from the fleshy hivemind before her.
She is looking for someone - someone in particular.
Rumors have it that Vector the crock [sic.] has AIDS!
She finds him in the corner, squeezing huge croc-sized turds into Charmy Bee the bee's anus, doing laviscous things that are too dark and dank and stinky to describe - go ask Travis for the deets.
Dressed in a bee costume (imagine one that you might find in bulk quantities a Halloween costume store on sale the night after Halloween ends) complete with fake wings, she melts into the scene.
The stinky ole crocc [sic.] doesn't even notice that Charmy One has been replaced by Charmy Two, and thus it begins.
THE SAGA OF...
AIDSy ROSE
I really need AIDS
Baby, it's cum outside
I've got to GET AIDS
Baby, it's cum outside
This evening has been
Hoping that you'd drop in
So, very nice
I'll hold your balls, they're just like ice
My mother will start to worry
Beautiful, what's your hurry?
My daddy will be pacing the floor
Listen to that fireplace roar
So, really I'd better scurry
Beautiful, please don't hurry
But maybe just a hald a drink more
I'll put some records on while I pour
The neighbors might think
Baby, it's cum out there
Say, what's in this drink?
Cummies to be had out there
I wish I knew how
Your eyes are pink and stinky now
To break this spell
I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say, "No, no, no sir"
Mind if I cum in closer?
At least I'm gonna say that I tried
What's the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can't stay
Baby, don't hold out
Baby, it's cum outside
Ugh, you're very pushy, you know?
I'd like to think of it as opportunistic
I simply must go
Baby, it's cum outside
The answer is, "No"
But, baby, it's cum outside
The welcome has been
How lucky that you dropped in
So stinky and warm
Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious
Gosh, your lips look delicious
My brother will be there at the door
Cum upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious
Gosh, your lips are delicious
But maybe just cigarette more
Never such a cumstorm before
I've got to get AIDS
Baby, you'll get stinky out there
Say, lend me your comb?
Cum's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand
I cum when I touch your hand
But don't you see?
How can you give this AIDS to me?
There's bound to be talk tomorrow
Think of my life-long sorrow
At least HIV be plenty implied
If you got toxoplasmosis and died
I really need AIDS
Get over that hold out
Baby, it's CUM
Baby, it's CUM outside
Okay, fine, just another drink
That took a lot of convincing