My Life's Stranger Than Yours
(A/N: Review Response Time!
Death of Snipers: I admit, my knowledge of Cat Fist Ranma's strength is rather lacking, but as for the normal Ranma actually fighting a dinosaur, I'm...partially inclined to agree with you, but like I said it was more for the tradition rather than to be taken too seriously
Hawkcam: Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Kuno, I'm just waiting for the right time.
SeanHicks: Part of me wanted to try and find a way to play that joke straight right here and now, but Goku's not THAT stupid...anymore.
With all that said, let's get too it!)
Unexpected Battles: Ranma vs. Who? Videl vs. Who!?
As the group all entered the mountain home, Chi-Chi led Ranma and Akane to the couch.
"Wait here you two and I'll grab you some towels, and a change of clothes," Chi-Chi said to the guests.
"Actually -Chi, I have a change of clothes, so just a towel will be fine," Akane noted.
"Alright then, and just Chi-Chi is fine," she replied.
"Well she does, but I don't," Ranma groaned. "Could you tell me where your bathroom is?" she asked.
"Oh of course, just follow me." Chi-Chi motioned with her hand and Ranma began following her through the house.
"Well, I think I'd better get ready too," Gohan said. Exiting the room, Gohan dashed upstairs and went to go change into his training gear, leaving Akane and Videl alone.
"So...Gohan's mom seems pretty nice," Akane stated.
"Oh she is...most of the time," Videl replied.
"What do you mean 'most of the time'?" Akane asked.
"It's nothing crazy, it's just that Chi-Chi can be pretty intense at times, especially when she's mad. Heck, even her husband and his friends get scared stiff," Videl giggled.
Akane raised an eyebrow. "How intense are we talking?"
"Well...funny story, but when Chi-Chi and I first met, we didn't exactly 'hit it off'," Videl began. "She seemed pretty quick to go from one extreme to another. One minute we're having a pretty ridiculous fight just growling at each other, and later that same day, she's basically trying to hook us up," Videl couldn't help but grin at the rather nostalgic memory.
"Hmmm...your parents trying to fix you up with someone...now where have I heard THAT before?" Akane smirked.
"Hey, go easy on Chi-Chi," Videl chuckled. "I don't know what the deal with your and Ranma's Dad is, but Chi-Chi was just trying to look out for her son, and I can respect that...now if only she'd stop asking 'When's the wedding?'."
"Welcome to my world."
The two girls could only let out a couple of strings of laughter before Chi-Chi returned with a towel in hand.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," Chi-Chi announced.
"It's no problem," Akane said hopping off the couch.
"Say, where did Gohan go?" Chi-Chi asked.
"He went upstairs to change," answered Videl.
"Don't worry, I'm here!"
The ladies turned to see Gohan dashing down the stairs in his purple gi. "Sorry to keep you girls waiting."
'Deja Vu,' thought Videl and Akane.
"So, where's Ranma?" Gohan asked.
"Hmmmm...I left a change of clothes for her. It shouldn't be taking her this long to get changed," Chi-Chi noted.
As Chi-Chi left to check on Ranma, Gohan turned to the girls. "Uhh...shouldn't we tell Mom about...you know?"
Videl shrugged. "She's gonna find out sooner or later, so why bother?"
"That...might not be the best idea," he noted.
[With Chi-Chi]
The matriarch quickly made her way back to the bathroom. To her surprise, she found the clothes she had laid out for Ranma were still outside the door. 'That's strange. I could've sworn I let her know these were out here, so why hasn't she changed into them yet?'
Picking up the neglected garments, Chi-Chi then proceeded to knock on the door and call out. "Ranma, are you okay in there?"
Chi-Chi waited for a short moment before she knocked again after receiving no answer.
"Ranma?" Chi-Chi repeated, rather agitatedly. Before she knocked again, she could hear the sound of a faucet being turned off.
'Oh...I guess she didn't hear me over the water,' Chi-Chi thought.
Deciding to cut to the chase, Chi-Chi grabbed the doorknob and let herself into the bathroom.
"Ranma, you really should answer when other people ca-!" Chi-Chi swallowed her words as when she entered the bathroom, instead of the perky young red-haired girl she was expecting, Chi-Chi came face to face with a well built, black-haired young boy clad in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts holding a black garment in his hands.
The pair stood frozen in place, staring at each other in complete and utter silence. A bead of sweat rolled down Ranma's forehead as Chi-Chi broke the silence with an ear shattering scream.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!"
"GYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
[In the Living Room]
Gohan and the girls all harshly twitched as Chi-Chi's scream hit their ears.
"What was that!?" exclaimed Akane.
"That sounded like Mom!"
"That was your mom?"
The questions were put on hold as the scream was soon replaced by the sounds of crashing, smashing, and just some general conflict. The trio quickly dashed through the kitchen and into the adjacent hallway where they witnessed a topless male Ranma, with his shirt in hand, dart away from Chi-Chi who was striking at him with a broom.
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?" Chi-Chi yelled, making everyone present shudder.
"Mom hold on!" Gohan cried waving his hands defensively. His plea went ignored as Chi-Chi dashed through Gohan and the girls, knocking them aside, and continued to swing the broom at Ranma.
"I...guess she knows about Ranma's curse," Videl stammered.
"I told you it was a bad idea."
'Huh...so that's what Videl meant by intense...' thought a surprisingly impressed Akane.
With a fearful yelp Ranma leapt over Chi-Chi's assault and dashed into the kitchen. He managed to slip back into his shirt, but was barely given time to rest as Chi-Chi advanced on him nigh instantly. Fortunately, Ranma was still able to keep one step ahead of Chi-Chi and nimbly avoid her attacks.
"Geeze Ms. Chi-Chi, calm the hell down!" Ranma quickly exclaimed.
Dashing to the opposite end of the kitchen, Ranma grabbed a nearby mop and used it to parry Chi-Chi's incoming attacks. As Chi-Chi launched a powerful strike, Ranma bracedhimself and blocked it with his makeshift weapon. The two clashed and their battle was brought to a standstill as they struggled against each other.
"Alright Buster, start talking! Who are you, what are you doing in my house, and how do you know my name!?" Chi-Chi demanded.
"We just spoke a few minutes ago!" Ranma replied. "Do you always attack your guests like this!?"
"Only when they show up...UNINVITED!" Chi-Chi quickly shoved Ranma backwards, raising the broom in her arm intending to strike with a fierce downward swing.
Ranma quickly fixed himself and prepared to counterattack. 'Hmm...I probably shouldn't be beatin' up on my new friend's Mom like this, but she attacked me first. I'll try and end this quickly.'
"An opening!"
"Kyaa!"
Quickly swiping his weapon downwards, Ranma struck at Chi-Chi's legs, sweeping her off her feet and knocking her onto her backside. Twirling the mop in his hand, Ranma gave a triumphant smirk as Chi-Chi toppled over and dropped her weapon.
Before she could hit the floor however, Chi-Chi felt a strong arm wrap itself around her waist, holding her in place.
"Phew! That was a close one," said a cheerful male voice.
Both Chi-Chi and Ranma gasped as they laid their eyes on an orange clad man with wild and spiky black hair who seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, carrying Chi-Chi's discarded broom.
'Who the Hell is that!?'
"Goku!" Chi-Chi gleefully exclaimed.
The Saiyan quickly helped his wife back to her feet while Ranma took a cautious step backwards. Just then, Gohan and the girls, having finally recovered from being trampled by Chi-Chi, quickly dashed into the room.
"Mom wait!" Gohan exclaimed.
All eyes turned to the three teens and Goku shot them a warm smile. "Ah Gohan, Videl. You guys are back," Goku greeted.
'Who's that?' Akane thought.
"Dad/Goku?"
'That's Gohan's father?' Thought Akane.
"Dad, when'd you get back?" Gohan asked.
"Just a few seconds ago. I heard your Mom screaming on my way back and decided to use my Instant Transmission instead," Goku replied. "Now, can someone tell me what's been going on here?" Goku asked. "I just got back so I'm a little lost."
Chi-Chi's eyes narrowed as she snatched the broom out of Goku's hand before menacingly aiming it at Ranma. "I'll tell you what's going on, this perverted little delinquent broke into our house!"
"Huh?"
"No I didn't! And who you callin' a 'perverted little delinquent'!?" Ranma snapped.
"No, she got that part right Ranma, you are a perverted little delinquent," Akane snidely remarked.
Chi-Chi paused as a confused expression found itself on her face. Turning back to the others, she asked, "Ranma? Wait a sec, isn't that your red haired friend? Where is she? I almost forgot about her!"
Ranma let out a sigh as he responded. "You can stop your searchin'."
Goku and Chi-Chi shot Ranma a pair of confused looks as they watched him grab a cup off the counter and fill it with water. There confusion escalated when they saw him pour it over his head and his hair instantly changed from black to red and he appeared to shrink.
"Huh!?"
"WHAAAA-!?"
As Ranma shook the water out of her hair, Chi-Chi froze and let out a flabbergasted shriek. Goku's expression matched hers, though to a visibly lesser degree.
"Hey wait a second, weren't you just a boy!?" Goku exclaimed.
"It's a LONG story." Ranma replied. Turning to Chi-Chi, she gave the stunned matriarch a sheepish grin.
"Ummm...I'm sorry you had to find out like this, but I hope we can at least move on," Ranma awkwardly said.
Chi-Chi remained frozen in place for a brief moment until out of nowhere, she dashed at Ranma and grabbed her by the opening of her shirt.
"Hey wha-!?"
"Just what do you think you're doing!? Cover yourself up!" Chi-Chi exclaimed, quickly bringing the two ends together.
"Huh!?"
When their 'fight' first started, Ranma had been topless as a male. Though he did get his shirt back on, he hadn't had any time to button up, so now that he was female again, Ranma was exposing quite a bit of her assets.
"Wait a second, you just saw me transform from a boy to a girl, and THAT'S what your first concern is!?" Ranma exclaimed.
"That's no excuse to go exposing yourself like some bimbo!" Chi-Chi exclaimed.
"Okay, I get it, now back off, I can button my own shirt!" Ranma desperately tried to shove Chi-Chi off but the frenzied mother was beyond reason right now as she tried to forcibly keep Ranma's shirt closed.
Goku let out a small chuckle. "Yup, that's Chi-Chi for ya."
As Ranma and Chi-Chi continued to grapple with each other, the others continued towatch from the sidelines.
"Hmph, that's what he gets for having no modesty," Akane scoffed.
"This is even worse than when Chi-Chi and I first met," Videl added with an awkward grin. "Right Gohan?"
"Ehh...ehhh..."
Videl turned to see Gohan, his face red as an apple staring dead at Ranma and his Mother as they continued to tussle, for everytime they grappled with each other, Ranma's exposed chest would sway around and sometimes get exposed even more.
A vein popping on her forehead, her eyes narrowing sharply, Videl harshly smacked her hand over Gohan's eyes and yelled, "Don't look!"
[A few minutes later]
Everyone was gathered in the living room after finally having calmed down from the skirmish in the kitchen. As the tension died down, Gohan took the time to fully explain the situation to his parents while a now male Ranma also explained his curse.
"So...you change into a girl when you're hit with cold water and a boy when hit with hot water right?" Goku asked.
Ranma nodded his confirmation.
"But wait, there's one thing I'm still a bit confused by. Are you a boy who turns into a girl, or are you a girl who becomes a boy?" Goku asked.
"The first one," Ranma answered.
"Oh, okay, I think I got it now," Goku nodded. "And you know, your curse kinda reminds me of my old friend Launch," Goku chuckled as multiple scenes of Launch sneezing and switching personalities played in his head.
"Who's that?" Videl whispered to Gohan.
"I don't know, I've never met them before."
"So when you were in the bathroom, you changed back into a boy and were wringing your clothes out, correct?" Chi-Chi asked.
"Yeah. Again, sorry for scarin' ya like that," Ranma awkwardly apologized. "I was gonna show my curse off anyway, but I didn't expect ya to barge in on me like that."
"Is it me, or is this becoming a trend?" Videl whispered to Akane who shrugged.
Chi-Chi could only blush awkwardly as the scene of walking in on Ranma replayed in her mind.
"I think I'm the one who owes you an apology, especially after attacking you like that."
Ranma chuckled. "Nah, don't worry about it, I'm kinda used to getting attacked like that," he said. "But I gotta admit, the way you handled that broom was pretty impressive."
"Well..." Chi-Chi gave a bashful grin.
"Man, I wish I'd gotten here fast enough to see that," said a slightly dejected Goku. "It's not often we get to see you fight, Chi-Chi."
"Because unlike you Goku, I have better ways to spend my time than just fight and train all day," Chi-Chi said crossing her arms.
"Then...how come you were sparring with Goten the other day?" Goku asked.
"Wait what!?" exclaimed Gohan.
Chi-Chi could only freeze with a flushed face, as she hadn't expected Goku to know about that, let alone bring it up.
Sensing that something crazy was about to spring between Goku and Chi-Chi, Videl took the opportunity to have them make their exit. "Uhhhhmmm...I think that's our cue to leave. Besides, we've got work to do."
Gohan nodded. "She's right. Let's get going!" he proclaimed.
"Hey! If you guys are gonna train, can I join ya?" Goku asked.
"Ehe, thanks Dad, but I think we'll be fine on our own." Gohan chuckled.
[A Minute Later]
Gohan, Videl, Ranma and Akane were all making their way out of the mountain home and into the forest while Goku waved them off.
"We'll be back later!" Gohan called running off.
"Remember, if you guys need any help, you can call me!" Goku replied.
"Sure thing Dad!"
As the four young fighters disappeared into the forest, Goku stepped back into the house and turned to face Chi-Chi.
"Okay, Goku...how long did you know I've been training with Goten again?" she asked.
"Well...Not too long," Goku started. "I just happened to catch you two sparring behind the house when I was coming back from the fields one day, and despite Goten telling me you were the one who trained him before the Tournament where I came back, you can't believe how surprised I was. Although now that I think about it, I thought you've been looking a bit more fit than usual. I guess now I know the reason why." he added with a grin.
At Goku's explanation, Chi-Chi couldn't help but give herself a quick once over. She hadn't notice any major difference in her body lately, but if Goku did, and her scuffle with Ranma was any indicator, then maybe her (not so) secret sessions with Goten actually were paying off.
"Well, I'd better get dinner started."
"All right! I'm starving!" Goku exclaimed.
"Not so fast Goku!" Chi-Chi stopped him. "I already have some food prepared, but if you want to eat now, you have to finish the work in the garden first."
"Aww, Chi-Chi, I already did that before I took Goten to Capsule Corp!" Goku pleaded.
"Oh really?" Chi-Chi raised an eyebrow.
"Yes!"
"They'd better be, cause if I go out to those fields and they're NOT, you're only getting one bowl of food tonight." Chi-Chi threatened.
A large bead of sweat rolled down Goku's face. "Uhhh...actually, I'd better go double check first!" Goku instantly zipped out of the house and flew opposite the forest to their crops.
"Works every time."
[With Gohan and the Others]
Led by Gohan, the quartet sprinted through the perilous forest of Mt. Paouzu. The continued on for a good few minutes before they finally exited the forest and came into a lush green clearing.
As everyone started doing their own warm ups, Gohan turned to Videl. "Videl, while I don't mind training you again, are you sure you still want to fight this Ryoga guy?"
Videl stood firm and nodded, "You bet."
"Okay. In that case..." Gohan turned to Ranma and Akane and asked, "You guys said before that Videl couldn't beat him right?"
Akane was hesitant to answer and avoided eye contact with either of them, but Ranma opted to be direct. "It's true. If she were to fight him right now, she'd lose."
"Could you stop talking about me like I'm not here!?" Videl snapped.
"Look, I'm just talkin' from experience," Ranma replied. "Ryoga's a tough ass nut. He'd have to be to be my archrival."
Videl narrowed her eyes, but then flashed Ranma a smirk. "So basically, you're saying the only way I'll have a chance of beating this guy is if I can beat you?"
"No, I'm sayin' you won't stand a chance against him unless you can at least give me a serious workout," Ranma taunted.
"Hold on guys," Gohan said stepping in between Ranma and Videl. Videl lightly pushed Gohan aside and took a defensive stance before Ranma.
"So Saotome, ready to put your money where your mouth is?"
Ranma gave a confident grin and took his own defensive stance while Gohan and Akane stood aside and watched the bout unfold.
"Should...should we try to stop them?" Gohan asked.
"Maybe...but then again, this is a fight everyone's been waiting to see!" Akane replied.
Ranma and Videl stood facing each other off, both of them with cocky grins on their faces.
Videl dashed forward to make the first move, however, she paused in midair when the ground between them appeared to spontaneously explode. Videl quickly flew backwards to avoid the blast zone as Gohan quickly jumped in to shield her from the rubble.
"Are you okay?" Gohan asked.
"Yeah, but what happened?" Videl replied.
Through the smoke, the four could make out the sillhouette of a person carrying a large bag. The person stepped through the smoke and revealed themself to be a young man clad in yellow.
"Ryoga!?" Ranma and Akane exclaimed.
Surely enough, Ranma's wandering rival had appeared from the ground below. No doubt having gotten lost somewhere again and having used the Breaking Point to move underground.
"Ranma!? What are you doing here? Am I back in Nerima?" Ryoga asked.
"You're at the Eastern Mount Paouzu," Akane answered.
Ryoga quickly turned to his secret crush's voice and stammered, "Oh Akane, I didn't expect you to be-!"
Ryoga paused for when his eyes glanced next to Akane, he saw a face he hadn't expected to see for a while.
"You!" Ryoga pointed at Gohan.
"Uhh...hey." Gohan awkwardly responded.
"What are you doing here!?" Ryoga snapped.
"I live on this mountain. My house is just through the forest back that way," Gohan pointed.
Ryoga dusted himself off and chuckled. "Hmhmhm, and here I thought I'd have to wait a week to take you down. What fortune that I'll be able to beat you here and now!"
Ryoga dropped his backpack and took a step towards Gohan before Videl quickly got in between the two boys.
"Sorry, but you won't be fighting Gohan today. I'm your opponent!" she declared.
Ryoga looked at Videl for a few brief seconds before letting out a discontent sigh. "So...is this your game? Sending a woman in your place of our man-to-man duel? You're despicable!" he said to Gohan.
"Whoa, hold on a minute..." Gohan began.
Videl sharply narrowed her eyes before she responded to Ryoga, cutting Gohan off, "Gohan didn't send me, and he doesn't need me to fight his battles for him. He's more than strong enough to beat you as is!"
Ryoga chuckled. "You have a lot of faith in him. Let's see if it's well placed." He then proceeded to step towards Gohan, but Videl stood in his way again.
"I already told you, I'M the one your fighting!" Videl yelled back.
"Butt out!" Ryoga exclaimed. "I'd rather not waste my time fighting an inferior opponent, especially if it's a woman."
'Damn Ryoga, harsh words,' Ranma thought.
'Hmph, he doesn't have to be nasty about it!' thought Akane.
A vein popped on Videl's forehead. "Inferior...? INFERIOR!?"
"Videl...take it easy..." A briefly sweating Gohan stepped forward to attempt to console his enraged girlfriend, but it was all for naught as she launched herself at Ryoga with fierce battle cry.
Dashing forward, Videl launched her foot straight into Ryoga's gut before briefly retreating and following up with a powerful roundhouse kick to the side of his head. As she landed back on the ground following her attack, she turned back to Ryoga and said, "Who's inferior now?"
Videl received no answer as Ryoga stood frozen for a brief moment. After a few seconds passed, Ryoga stepped forward and walked passed Videl seeming completely unfazed.
'Wha-What!?'
"Consider my taking those attacks of yours a little apology for insulting your skills as a martial artist, but now, I must ask you to keep out of our fight. This is between me and him." Ryoga proclaimed.
'I put all I had into those moves and he's not even fazed!?' Videl thought in disbelief.
Turning back to Ryoga, who was still approaching Gohan, Videl clenched her fist tight and launched a flying kick at him one more time. "Don't write me off you jerk!"
This time however, instead of taking the attack, Ryoga quickly whipped around and grabbed Videl by the leg.
"Huh!?"
"I'm asking you to stop," Ryoga said tightening his grip on her leg. "Like I said before, I don't have the time or heart to strike an opponent who's that much weaker than I am."
"Who's weak!?" Videl twisted herself around launching her free leg at Ryoga's face, but he once again took the attack without so much as flinching.
With a vaguely irritated grunt, Ryoga casually tossed Videl behind him towards Ranma and Akane.
"Videl!" Gohan called.
"I got her!" Ranma quickly sprang into the air and caught Videl in his arms before safely landing back on the ground.
"Now that she's out of the way, let's pick up where we left off," Ryoga said dropping into a defensive stance.
Gohan shot Ryoga a light glare. He hadn't intended to fight Ryoga at all, but after he manhandled Videl the way he did, he now had a reason to.
"Fine, if you're so eager to fight me, let's go!" Gohan proclaimed taking his own defensive stance.
From the sides, Ranma and Akane were watching the scene unfold with great interest. Though they got a glimpse of his strength back at Videl's house, they'd yet to see hi fight seriously and were curious to see what he could really do, especially against Ryoga.
Videl on the other hand watched the scene with her fist clenched so tight, it was shaking.
Before either of the two combatants could make a move, a loud crash filled the sky as the light began to dim.
Everyone looked up to see dark clouds rolling in which could only mean one thing a storm was coming.
While Ranma let out an irritated sigh at possibly being transformed again, Ryoga let out an internal fearful yelp. He couldn't transform now, Akane was still here. Quickly darting backwards to grab his backpack, Ryoga stated, "We'll finish this at our regularly scheduled date, one week from today!"
On that note, Ryoga dashed into the forest, completely unaware of what his next destination entailed.
'Moron doesn't even realize it's been two days since he last showed up,' Ranma thought.
"Hey wait!" Gohan called after him, but too late. Ryoga was already gone beyond earshot.
"He has the right idea," Akane noted. "Let's get back to your place before the storm hits!"
"You're right," Gohan nodded. "Follow me!"
Gohan dashed into the forest opposite Ryoga quickly followed by Ranma and Akane. As the others shoved off to Gohan's house, Videl just stood alone in the field staring at the direction Ryoga ran in, taking in the reality of how outmatched she truly appeared to be.
'What...is he?' Videl thought.
"Videl, come on!" Gohan called.
Stirring from her thoughts, Videl quickly ran after the others before she took to the air. As she flew, she couldn't stop thinking about the encounter with Ryoga. She'd been eager to make him pay for what he did to her father's dojo, but if their meeting today was any indication, then maybe this was going to be a lot tougher than she initially thought.
(A/N: So, Ranma has a brief fight with a surprise opponent and Videl gets a small taste of what Ryoga's made of. Speaking of which, I know Ranma's stance about fighting with women, but I don't recall Ryoga fighting a girl who WASN'T female Ranma (PLEASE correct me if I'm wrong on this, but don't be harsh), so I hope his interaction with Videl was accurate. As for Videl's attacks on Ryoga, well, Videl's a tough chick, but I think we can all agree that Ranma, even at the earliest of his series, was stronger than her (heck, even Akane's stronger), and if Ranma's initial attacks barely fazed Ryoga during their second MAJOR battle (The Bakusai Tenketsu fight), then I doubt that Videl as she is now would be much of a threat...so we'll just have to fix that won't we? Stay tuned as Videl learns exactly what she's up against and what she has to do to even up the score.)