What happens when you have a very nerdy girl who's extremely bored? This.
I have no idea how long this is going to go on for. Probably until I hit a wall of un-inspiration with this particular series. Until then, enjoy!
I, Kira Meridian-Stark, am having an incredibly bad day. First, I got an A- on a science test (science, my best subject! Unbelievable!), and for lunch, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (god knows I'm allergic to peanuts). To top it all off, PE was dodgeball, and ever since school had banned me from using my powers (said it was an 'unfair advantage,' yeah right), it had been a whole lot of aches and bruises whenever it came to sports. The only reason why I can at least partially stay in a decent mood was because of my iced coffee hand and Peter Parker, my boyfriend. As his Peter-tingle didn't consider dodgeballs to be of any danger, he'd suffered just as much as me (oh, and Ned. The three of us suffered together).
Not just that, but I have a hell ton of homework awaiting me at home. Trying to come up with a topic for my English essay due the following week, I sip my coffee and check my watch.
"Oh % $&!" I swear, breaking into a jog. "Late again… AGHHH." As I round the bend, the Avengers compound right around the corner, I halt. Two people, taller than me (WHY CAN'T I BE TALLER?!), are crossing the street looking all around them. They're dressed incredibly strangely, although, with the things I've seen in my life, I'm rarely surprised anymore.
I look around the two strangers, and my eyes widen. A car is driving down the road, the driver clearly not paying attention (precisely why I don't drive, I have WAY too small of an attention span), and the two people are about to get run over.
Dropping my coffee (which I have a feeling I'll regret later), I break into a sprint, yelling,
"Hey! Hey! Watch out! Car!" The two of them only turned, surprised. Are they daft? There's a damn CAR coming! They stop, which is the exact opposite of what I'm telling them to do.
"Life never gets boring around here," I mutter under her breath as I tackle the two strangers and the three of us go rolling off, hitting the curb with a groan a couple of seconds later. In an instant, I somehow find two knives and a sword being pointed right in my face. Correction: the sword's pointed at my face. The knives are ready to slit my throat. Instinctively, my powers activate and I hold my hands protectively in front of my face.
"What's up with the medieval stuff, guys? That doesn't look blunted. But maybe it's just super realistic or something," I ramble in an attempt to distract them. Dammit, thanks to these two, now I'm definitely going to be late. My dad's going to kill me.
"Who are you?" The girl asked. She and her companion aren't like anyone I've seen before, except maybe the Light Elves of Alfheim that Thor had shown me portraits of.
Then I take a closer look at the girl's (woman? Hard to tell, her face is kind of ageless) companion. He looks vaguely familiar… then it dawns on me.
"Legolas?" I ask curiously.
"How do you know my name?" The Elf replies fiercely, not taking his knives away from my throat.
"Oh. My. God," I mumble. Assuming I'm not going crazy, which is a definite possibility, Legolas Thranduilion is on Earth. Here. And he's threatening to kill me. And holy % $& I probably look like I want to kill him too. "Okay, okay, can you two please put the weapons down? I would really prefer not to be killed today, if you don't mind. Look, I'll stop my magic." The blue light around my hands disappears, and I hold up my hands in surrender. "Now, if you don't mind, I should probably get you guys inside. You two, especially you, Legolas, will attract a lot of attention if we don't hurry inside." I stand and offer my hands to the both of them. They eye me warily.
"Look," I sigh, "if I wanted to hurt you, I would have already. I could've let you get run over! You could be dead right now, okay? Now come on." After a second, the Elves finally take me up on my offer and grab my hands. I haul them up quickly, and adjust my backpack so it's in a better position hanging off my shoulder. Beckoning the… lovers? I have no clue who the girl is. Maybe she's an uncanonical girlfriend? Anyway, I beckon the Elves to the door. They walk over cautiously, and I see the girl have a hand on her sword.
"After you," I try to smile in a friendly way, opening the door. They walk in and I see their jaws drop. Quite understandably. The compound is not something to be taken lightly. I walk in after them and shut the door.
"Hey, JARVIS!" I call in greeting.
"Good afternoon, Miss Meridian-Stark," JARVIS replies casually. Legolas and his girlfriend (it doesn't really matter if that's inaccurate) whip out their bows and put an arrow to them lightning-quick, just as fast as Clint would, maybe faster. They point the bows every way, but they clearly have no idea what they're aiming at.
"Hey, JARVIS, where's my dad?" I ask.
"He's working down in the basement," JARVIS says. "Pardon me if this is incorrect, but I do believe one of your companions is the character Legolas from Lord of the Rings. I am not entirely sure who the girl is."
"Same here, and I think you're right. Now can you tell my dad to get up here please?" I fold my arms impatiently. It only takes about fifteen seconds for JARVIS to give me a reply.
"He says he's busy," the AI says. I roll my eyes. Of course he's busy. For heaven's sake, he's ALWAYS busy.
"Where is that voice coming from?" The girl asks suspiciously.
"I am all around you, ma'am," JARVIS replies nicely. "I am more of a constant presence."
"My name's Ziri," the Elf says sharply. Ziri… doesn't sound familiar.
"JARVIS, tell my father that I've found proof that the Cosmic Inflation and Multiverse Theories are true, and show him the cam," I sigh. "He's watched LOTR, right?"
"I believe so," JARVIS responds. If he had a face, I'm fairly sure that JARVIS would've smiled. I turn to my Elvish guests.
"Give it about twenty seconds," I tell them. I count silently in my head, knowing exactly what reaction my dad would have. In the last few seconds, I hold up three fingers and mouth, three, two, one. As soon as I put my pointer finger down for one, a loud crash sounds through the foyer, and five seconds later, Tony Stark comes skidding into the room, a piece of red and gold armor still stuck to his right leg.
"I dropped a fist for this," he pants, breathing hard. "Better be worth it!" Then he spots our Elvish guests. "So." My dad walks up to Legolas, who has a new target in Dad's face. Tony ignores this, of course, and sizes Legolas up. "Are you really the ancient version of Barton?"
"I do not know this Barton you speak of," Legolas says in a harsh whisper.
"Didn't know you had a girlfriend," Dad said, ignoring Legolas. I eye the girl, Ziri, and see that her impassive expression is cracking. It slowly dissolves, bit by bit, until she starts laughing. Cackling, almost. Legolas only raises an eyebrow, not at her, but at us.
After briefly regaining her composure and wiping away tears of laughter (I had no idea that Elves could even laugh that much), Ziri said, still gasping for breath,
"He… is not… my boyfriend! He's… *gasp* my brother!" Now it's my turn to raise an eyebrow.
"Your brother? Seriously?" I ask, now rightfully confused.
"He doesn't have a sister," Tony says, a little uncertain.
"You don't have a sister," I tell Legolas. "Do you?"
"She is indeed my sister, yes," Legolas confirms. I then walk up to Ziri, who stares back at me coolly. I look extremely closely at her, trying to find any similarities between her and Legolas.
I didn't look as close before, but now I see that she has the same high cheekbones and sky-blue eyes as her brother. Her hair definitely threw me off before. It's cut short and blunt, ending at her shoulders, with dark red streaks, the same color as my favorite leather jacket, I notice, going through it.
"Oh, and you're late," Dad says abruptly. I groan in annoyance.
"Later, Dad! Can we, at this present moment, figure out what to do with these two?" I check my watch quickly. "We have a meeting in literally fifteen minutes, and their brains might explode if they see everyone."
"Don't forget about our brains," Tony reminds me. Before I can say anything else, I hear the door close and whirl around. Clint is standing there, looking at me, then Tony, then Legolas, then Ziri, and back at Dad.
"Did I miss anything?" He raises an eyebrow. I face-palm, before walking towards the kitchen, yelling back,
"I'm getting coffee!" I really shouldn't have dropped my drink from earlier.
And cue the end of the first scene! What do you think is going to happen between Legolas and Hawkeye? Any suggestions for following one-shots would be appreciated. Thanks!