My Life's Stranger Than Yours
Satan's Disciples; Meet Kuno and Majin Buu
Both Buu and Akane turned to Videl who was vigorously shaking her father's body, attempting to get him back on his feet. It took a couple of minutes, but Mr. Satan finally found the strength to push himself onto all-fours.
"Oh good, you're alright," Videl relieved.
"Hey Honey…" Mr. Satan wheezed out. "Where'd Buu go…?"
"I'm here." The pink demon simply stated.
"Take it easy Dad," Videl ordered as she helped him to his feet. "Buu, can you keep an eye on him for a sec while I grab some water?"
"Oh…okay!" Buu agreed.
"Thank you." Before Videl could make a mad dash for the kitchen, she quickly noticed the bewildered look on Akane's face. "Okay…I'm sure you've got a few questions, and I promise I'll answer them as soon as I help my Dad recover," Videl pleaded.
"Okay…" Akane nearly deadpanned.
"Inversely, I have a question or two for you too," Videl added.
Videl's words were swiftly drowned out by a gruff yelp. Turning towards the sound, the girls witnessed Buu hoist Mr. Satan over his head and stroll into the living room, Bee right behind.
Akane could only sigh. "I guess I should at least bring this moron with them," she said motioning to Kuno.
''This moron''? Videl decided to make a mental note of that.
As Videl dashed off to the kitchen, Akane went over to the unconscious Kuno and slung him over her shoulder before making her way to the living room. Where she spied Mr. Satan still breathing deeply as he lay on the sofa.
"Thanks Buu…don't know what I would've done without you."
"Is Mr. Satan okay?" Buu asked.
"I'll be fine…just wish Videl would hurry up with that water. By the way…did you see where Tatewaki went?"
The champ received his answer as Akane finally entered the room with Kuno on her back. "He's right here," she stated.
"We-he-hell, now who might you be? One of Videl's friends?" Mr. Satan asked Akane with a surprising note of vigor.
Akane nodded. As she tossed Kuno onto the nearest sofa before dusting herself off, a frantic Bee, quickly ran up to Akane and stood on his hind legs attempting to lick her face.
"It's great to see you again too Bee-!" Akane giggled as she was assaulted by dog kisses.
"Well, looks like someone's taken an early likin' to you, young lady," Mr. Satan noted.
Buu on the other hand merely watched as the dog happily barked and zoomed around the overwhelmed girl.
"We've met before," Akane informed. Lightly shoving Bee off her, Akane bowed and introduced herself.
"My name's Akane Tendo, and I'm a martial artist at the Tendo Training Hall in Nerima," she said with a bow.
Mr. Satan let out a hearty chuckle before getting to his feet and puffing out his chest in his trademark (faux) courageous fashion.
"Oh-ho, you're a fellow martial artist, eh'? Well then, allow me to formerly welcome you into our humble abode. The home of the World Martial Arts Champion, MR. SATAN!"
Once the champ was done with his spiel, Akane cold only stand in unreadable shock and awe, the atmosphere in the room quickly dying.
"Dad…please stop."
Before Mr. Satan could give continue, Videl returned with a large sports bottle in hand.
"Oh Videl, there you are. I was just about to introduce your friend here to Buu, since it seems she's already been acquainted with Bee here," he said stroking the dog's head.
"Yeah, she's visited before when you two were out," Videl added, tossing her father the bottle.
Hearty gurgling could be heard as Mr. Satan seamlessly unscrewed the cap and chugged the entire bottle of water in no time flat.
"Ahhhhh, that hit the spot. You always gotta remember to stay hydrated when you're pumpin' iron! DAHAHAHA!"
Akane stifled a laugh as Videl crossed her arms with a red tint on her face. "Dad, guest!"
"Oh! Of course." He quickly fixed himself while clearing his throat.
With a sheepish chuckle, Videl quickly stepped in between Akane and her father. "Well, now you've met my Dad, so what's say we head to the dojo now, huh?"
"What, aren't you going to introduce me to…?" Akane motioned to Buu who was still giving Akane an observant look.
Videl sighed. There was no running away from this meeting, but maybe she could keep things from going haywire. Clearing her throat, Videl slipped besides Buu and playfully leaned against him.
"This big guy here is Majin Buu, he's our houseguest," Videl annunciated.
Akane looked at Videl with a raised eyebrow at first, but after some brief thought she quickly understood what Videl was getting at. 'Wait that's right! She said something about an unusual houseguest when I first visited her place. Is this who she was talking about?'
Knocking Videl off of his body, the unusually quiet Buu slowly approached an uncomfortable looking Akane.
"Buu, what are you doing?" Videl asked with small alarm in her voice.
Akane took a cautious step back as the rotund demon stood, nearly towering over her.
"Uhhh…nice to meet you?" Akane awkwardly stated.
Buu looked Akane dead in the eye before flashing her a playful grin. "Are you strong?"
"Huh?"
"Mr. Satan say you a fighter."
Akane shot Buu a befuddled look before putting her hands on her hips and replying, "Yeah, I'm a martial artist and I'm pretty strong I'd say."
Buu turned back towards the dog and let out a grin. Always at his friend's beck and call, Bee wasted no time in running right up to Buu and pawing against his large frame.
"You want play with Buu and Bee? Bee play with stick boy but stick boy to weak to play with Buu."
Akane turned back and as she saw Kuno's snoozing form, things started to fit together. 'I'm guessing Kuno tried to fight this guy for some reason and got his butt kicked.'
Videl quickly stepped in between Buu and Akane and hastily tried to diffuse his sudden interest in Akane.
"Actually Buu, if you've been 'playing' all day, then I guess you must be pretty hungry right about now, right?"
"Hmmmm?"
'What is she doing?'
As Akane was still trying to process the current events, Kuno began to stir from his slumber.
"By the gods…what happened…?" he muttered to himself.
'The last thing I remember was seeing some pink demon accompanied with his hellhound. Afterwards, everything's a blank.'
As he shook his head, and his vision came back into focus, Kuno's eyes widened at the sight of a terrible scene. The pink demon from his memories had returned, but this time not only was his beastly cohort with him again, they both had the object of his affection backed against a corner. In between them, however, was the metaphorical 'X' at the end of his long hunt.
Pulling his bamboo sword from seemingly nowhere, Kuno sprang from his resting place on the couch and launched himself at Buu (and the girls) poised to strike.
"You will keep your vile mittens away from these fair maidens you HEATHEN!"
Before any of the humans could process what was happening, Kuno was halted in his tracks by a palm to the face courtesy of Buu.
"Oh! Stick boy all better now?"
Kuno failed to answer as he once again hit the floor hard face first (though Buu hadn't really hit him that hard).
"Kuno, are you okay?"
At the sound of Akane's voice, Kuno recovered near instantly and proceeded to throw himself at his charge with wide open arms. "Oh Akane Tendo! I should've known it would take only the mere sight of you to restore me to my full strength."
SWACK!
"The feeling's less than mutual," Akane responded with a fist to the chin.
"Oh, you two are acquainted?" asked Mr. Satan.
"Right, you said something about that earlier Akane," Videl added.
Akane sighed. "He's an upperclassman at my high-."
Akane's explanation was cut off by Kuno once again launching himself at Buu. Kuno's weapon made contact with Buu this time and promptly bounced off his rubbery frame. Kuno continued to strike Buu repeatedly until the pink majin launched yet another palm strike to the young swordsman's midsection, launching him into a wall yet again.
"Must…defeat…pink…demon…!" Kuno strained whilst picking himself up and taking a defensive stance.
'This guy's a glutton for punishment, isn't he?' Videl whispered.
'You have no idea,' Akane replied.
It was at that moment Mr. Satan decided to put a stop to the charade. "Okay, okay, that's enough of that. Tatewaki, I'm orderin' you to stand down."
"But Master…!"
"Master!?" exclaimed the girls.
"You heard me."
With a huff, Kuno dropped his stance and, leaning his sword against the wall, crossed his arms.
Mr. Satan then turned to Buu. "Hehehe, Buu I'm glad you've been givin' Tatewaki here a good ol' workout, but I think it's time to stop playin' for now. Why don't you head to the kitchen for now? I'm sure the chefs have already gotten dinner started."
"Ohh! Okay!" With a gleeful expression, Buu skipped out of the room with Bee right behind him.
"Astounding…" marveled Kuno.
'Phew, glad that's done,' Mr. Satan sighed. 'That could've gone bad real quick.' Before Mr. Satan could dwell on the thought too long, he was grabbed by the collar and yanked away by Kuno.
"Master, please tell me, how could you tame such a malevolent creature!?"
Beads of sweat began to roll down Mr. Satan's head. "Uhhh well…" he stammered.
"Oh, my apologies." Kuno released his grip on Mr. Satan and took a step backwards in order to give his 'Master' the necessary breathing room.
Mr. Satan cleared his throat and replied. "Well, you know what they say my boy, "You should never judge a book by its cover. That 'malevolent creature' as you called him, is actually one of my older disciples."
"Is that…is that true?" Kuno asked in pure amazement.
"Yes it is boy, and now that you've seen his astounding strength up close, you now have another goal to work towards. After all, a martial artist must always work towards gaining more and more strength!"
Mr. Satan capped off his spiel with his trademark hearty laugh as Kuno proceeded to bow in respect to the champion fighter.
From watching Buu and Bee exit to Mr. Satan and Kuno's exchange, Akane's bewildered expression said it all. "I…have so many questions…"
"I promise I'll answer them as best as I can, but first…" Videl stomped over to her father who was still laughing nigh hysterically. His laugh was subsequently silenced by Videl pulling him aside, by the ear.
"Gah-ow! H-hey sweety. What can I do you for?"
"Hey Dad, can I ask you something real quick?"
"Yes?"
"Since when did you decide to take on another 'disciple'?"
"Oh!" Mr. Satan cleared his throat. "That's right, you haven't been properly introduced yet. Tatewaki please," he motioned to Kuno.
The arrogant kendoist stood firm and brandished his sword on his shoulder. "Actually, I'm well acquainted with Ms. Akane here, as she is my junior at school."
'They're school mates? That makes sense.' thought Videl.
"Although…" Kuno brushed past Akane until he was standing face to face with Videl who now had a bewildered look on her face.
"What are you…?"
"I've witnessed your formidable skills as a martial artist before, and I must say it is an honor to finally meet you at last," Kuno said taking Videl by the hands.
Videl hurriedly pulled away from Kuno's grasp. "I'm always happy to meet a fan, but what do you think you're doing?" she firmly snapped.
Akane facepalmed. 'Dammit! I forgot about that!' she chided herself.
"Whoa there boy," Mr. Satan interjected. "Videl appreciates her fans as much as the next gal, but you really should be more respectful when addressing my daughter, you hear me?"
Kuno stood at attention and instantly put a few inches of distance between himself and Videl. "She's your daughter!? Please forgive my hastiness Master and allow me to introduce myself properly."
AKane rolled her eyes as Kuno cleared his throat and began his introduction.
"I am Tatewaki Kuno, aged 17 years old, and the head of Furinkan High's Kendo Club. Also known as Furinkan's Blue Thunder!" Kuno accompanied his proclamations with a small series of kendo stances, not unlike the poses of a certain helmeted superhero.
An embarrassed bead of sweat rolled down Videl's forehead before Kuno continued.
"Although most recently, I have humbly become the student of the Mighty Mr. Satan himself!" Kuno proudly proclaimed with a nostalgic sigh. "Yes, I remember it like it was merely a day ago.
[Flashback]
Kuno could be seen on the receiving end of a nigh merciless beatdown by Ranma before being launched away by a fierce uppercut.
"It was a random day at school where I clashed with that miscreant Ranma Saotome. My memories of our battle are more than a little hazy, but the last thing I remember seeing is Master's silhouette."
Kuno could then be seen limping through Satan City, his sword being used as amakeshift crutch. Finally, the bamboo weapon snapped and Kuno fell to the ground face first in front of Mr. Satan's dojo which was at the time still under renovations following its 'vandalism' attack.
A short while later, Kuno awoke finding himself on a sofa, striped down to his shorts with bandages covering much of his upper body. Before he could ask what had happened, one of the staff medics stepped through the door.
"Oh, you're awake." Said the medic. "Hey sir, the kid's awake!" the medic quickly called out.
"You there, where am I?" Kuno asked.
"Oh you're in the dojo break room. Mr. Satan said it'd be fine for you to rest here while your body recovered." Informed the medic.
"Dojo? Mr. Satan?" asked Kuno.
Before the medic could continue, the champ himself strolled into the room. "Well now, glad to see you're up and around kid. You gave us quite the scare there."
"I take it you're the one who took me in?" Kuno inquired.
"Indeed," chimed the medic. "We were about to shut our doors for the evening, but just as Mr. Satan was about to head out, he found you passed out on the doorstep and quickly brought you inside for treatment."
"How could I not? You looked like you'd been run over by a motorbike there, kid." Said Mr. Satan.
Kuno let out a cocky scoff. "Ha, no mere two-wheeled vehicle could fell Furinkan High's Blue Thunder."
"Well somethin' clearly did, or else you wouldn't have been hurt as bad as you were there," Mr. Satan countered, crossing his arms.
Kuno clenched his fist. "Yes…my most mortal of adversaries, a brute of a man named Ranma Saotome."
"Is that so?"
Dismissing the medic, Mr. Satan pulled up a chair. "Why don't you tell me more about this Ramen' fella."
"So, I informed Master of my various bouts with Saotome, as well as his various misdeeds against Ms. Akane Tendo. When all was said and done, Master looked nearly as livid as I felt." Kuno continued to narrate.
After hearing of my perilous plight, It was then that Master offered me a place as one of his pupils. Initially, I was deeply flattered, but not too interested as I was a man of the sword. I didn't believe that a dojo that specialized in unarmed combat would be too helpful for me. Until master brought up a great point; in order to master one's weapon, one first must master his body. Then, in a way to show his appreciation for assisting me in one of my most dire times of need, I humbly accepted his proposal. He even offered to start my training effective immediately. Although, our first lesson was…complicated to say the least.
Kuno thought back to how when he first stepped forth into the 'dojo' part of the dojo, much of the area was still surrounded by 'CAUTION' tape and various other signs of construction. Thankfully, there was still enough free space available to get training done, but this did sour Kuno's previously cheerful mood.
"I greatly dishonored Master's school when I brought up how unsightly the place had appeared. I admit, I feel ashamed at myself for jumping to conclusions, because he then told me the story of how some mysterious assailant had appeared and nearly tore his prized school to the ground. I felt so guilty that as a token of apology, I offered to donate a sizable amount of money to the reconstruction of Master's dojo.
The final memory was of Kuno bowing his head in respect as Mr. Satan told the story of the dojo's near destruction followed by a quick image of the two of them shaking hands.
[End Flashback]
"From that point on, Master has been working with me one-on-one in order to improve my body's physical capabilities."
Though initially uninterested in Kuno's 'backstory', the girls had been paying attention as the story was the answer to their previous questions. Kuno's melodramatic storytelling even served to make it a more enjoyable experience than it had any right to be.
"So, the reason Dad hasn't been home as often lately was not just because of the dojo repairs, but because he was also training with you?" asked Videl.
"Correct," answered Kuno.
'Part of me is surprised Kuno decided to train seriously. I wonder…could his work with Mr. Satan actually put him on par with Ranma?' Akane wondered.
"I've applied his teachings to my own sword technique, and it feels like his lessons are beginning to bear fruit." Kuno finished, thrusting his sword onto the floor. "Which brings us to a most glorious opportunity."
Kuno thrust his sword towards Videl (A/N: Goodnight Everybody!) coupled with a look of determination plastered on his face.
"I would like to request a match with you Ms. Videl." Kuno proclaimed.
"She refuses."
All eyes were on Akane accompanied with a unified "What!?"
Grabbing Videl by the arm, Akane quickly excused the two of them and zipped out of the room.
"Akane, what the heck was that all about?" asked Videl.
"Videl, DON'T accept his challenge, trust me!" Akane pleaded.
"Why? You don't think I can beat him?" Videl snapped with her arms crossed.
"Quite the opposite actually. I'm 90% sure that you'll beat him easily, but-!"
"Then what's the problem? A quick match against someone more my level is why I invited you over today, but what's the harm in switching sparring partners from time to time?" Videl paused before realization struck her face. "Wait, are you still upset that you missed me at the Cat Café earlier?" Videl guessed.
Akane's face briefly blushed, but she quickly dismissed the notion. "Videl, listen to me! It's not a matter of winning or losing, or the Cat Café, or anything like that!" Akane bellowed. "I'm saying you shouldn't fight Kuno because-!"
"Hey Videl, should we take your friend's answer as yours or have you reconsidered Tatewaki's offer?" Mr. Satan called from inside the room.
Videl placed a hand on Akane's shoulder. "I'm sorry if you feel I've been ignoring lately, and I promise once this match is over, it'll just be the two of us for the rest of the night. We can spar privately, I'll answer any question I can about Buu, because I imagine you have quite a few, and we can chat over a couple of plates of Chi-Chi's cooking, how does that sound."
Akane could only sigh as she walked away. "I'm going to get changed. I'll meet you guys at the gym."
"That's the spirit, and who knows. Maybe my match with Kuno can help me figure out something about Cologne's technique," Videl added.
"You do you, BUT…!" Akane paused. "You are NOT allowed to say, I didn't try to warn you!" Akane vigorously pointed her finger at Videl.
"Warn me?" Videl raised an eyebrow. "Warn me about what?"
Akane only shot Videl a look of combined smugness and pity before walking away leaving Videl with a bewildered look on her face. Deciding to brush off Akane's words for now, Videl quickly re-entered the living room with a determined look on her face.
"Where'd your friend go?" asked Mr. Satan.
"She left to go change. As for your earlier question, I accept your challenge Kuno!" Videl triumphantly declared.
"Wonderful!" Kuno exclaimed.
"Heh, heh, that's my girl! Taking on all comers, just like her old man!" Mr. Satan bellowed.
Kuno rested his bamboo sword on his shoulder. "I've seen your skills captured on film before, but I'm looking forward to seeing them up close and in person."
"I'll try to live up to your expectations," Videl taunted.
"Indeed you shall, and once our fierce battle is done, if you should happen to defeat me, then I will do you the great honor of allowing you to go out on a date with me!"
All the competitive tension in the room instantly drained at Kuno's proclamation. The father-daughter duo remained silent before replying to the cocky swordsman with a unified, "…Say what?"
(A/N: This chapter got a rocky start, but somehow, I think I managed to pull it off okay. I apologize if the interactions with Buu were a bit undercut, but as I've stated before, I'm not particularly good at writing him. I'll try to bring him back soon (maybe next chapter if I can think of a way how), but I can assure you at the very least, we haven't seen the last of him by a long shot. Speaking of writing characters, Mr. Satan is someone who I straight up NEVER wrote before at all, so I hope I at least made him believable, and speaking of believable, Mr. Satan being Kuno's master. I know I teased it back in Chapter 22, but I frankly had NO idea how I was gonna pull that off. Thankfully, I think it turned out okay, coupled with Kuno finally meeting Videl which was teased ALLLLLL the way back in Chapter 6. Looks like everything's coming to a head. Next time, Videl faces off against the biggest pain in the ass this side of actually getting a spanking).
PS: Last Chapter I mentioned commissions and well, they're open now. Link for info is in my profile and if anyone's interested, DM me either here or on Twitter. Fair warning though, do NOT commission me if you're under 18.