Content warning: nervous breakdown or anxiety attack
He was gone.
Il – no – Reality Steve disappeared. No roaring thunder, which typically accompanied most Steves when they teleported. No silent trail of energy, like the kinds Purple Steve or Memory Steve gave. He just disappeared. Rather anticlimactic that he left for an unknown world in a mundane silence. Well, except it was far from mundane.
Memory, Sabre, Guardian, and Alex stared at the empty spot. The world seemed to have paused ever since Reality Steve left. No one dared to move or break the silence, a mutual sense of fear and uncertainty binding the four.
Alex was the brave one who finally faced Sabre "What the heck was Reality Steve going on about? Where did he go?"
"Yes. You have so much to explain!" Guardian joined.
As his two friends bombarded him with question after question, Sabre cringed back in the redstone machine that still held him. "Guys, guys, please! One at a time! I promise I'll try to make you guys understand!" He dipped his head, making his onesie hood shroud his blindfolded eyes. "It's just...I never expected this to happen so I don't even know how to start. But you guys deserve an explanation."
After staring at the place Reality Steve disconnected for too long, Memory Steve turned and also joined the group.
Sabre flinched and smiled awkwardly. "Oh, heeeeeey, Memory Steve! You were also there when that whole thing happened! Hehehe...ugh."
Memory crossed his arms and glared at him. "I may have no interest in this world's wellbeing, but it's still my home. I deserve to hear your explanation as well." Alex and Guardian already asked the questions he wanted answers to. However, they didn't ask the one question that drummed in his head. They asked the questions buzzing in his mind, but not the one question that shrieked underneath his skull, demanding to be released.
Sabre began explaining what Reality Steve meant about the Steve Saga server and the fourth wall. It took many trials and errors to find a proper explanation. Explaining the concept through a metaphor, only to dumbfound one or two of the listeners, making him restart with a different metaphor or analogy. Eventually, he described everything in a somewhat cohesive way.
Sabre was an entity called a player and not from this world. However, he was not an alien like the Purple Steves in the Purple Dimension or pigs in the Pig Dimension. All the dimensions known to the Steves – the Overworld, Spirit World, Nightmare Dimension, In-Between, the Void, Memory Dimension, and more – belonged in the same category of worlds. Then there were different worlds in a category "more transcended" than the worlds of Steves. These "transcended" worlds were more advanced and complex, and Sabre came from one of these worlds. These higher worlds were huge compared to the Steve Saga dimensions. In that way, they considered the Steve Saga dimensions "fictional" and even had some control over the smaller worlds. Like a realm of invisible gods.
"Please understand," Sabre begged. "That even though there are bigger worlds out there, you guys and this smaller world still matters. It matters to me. It actually matters to a lot of people, not just you guys. This doesn't change anything! You just learned your world is a lot smaller than you thought it was, but it's still a great world."
Alex rubbed her temples. "It's...just a lot to take in."
"It's so much information," the Guardian added. "I think I need to sit down and think."
"I don't think that's going to help right now, Guardian," Sabre said. "We need to focus on what's in front of us. You and Alex find a way out of this Town. I'll deal with Memory Steve."
Alex and the Guardian agreed. The two headed to the Illusion Town's entrance, inspecting the invisible barrier, while Memory Steve remained.
Sabre gulped. "Listen, I – "
Memory Steve teleported onto the machine and deactivated it. Sabre fell out, faceplanting into the grass. Memory Steve returned to the player, grabbed his shoulder, and yanked him back onto his feet. "You and I have something we must discuss in private."
"Can this wait until my friends get out of the Illusion Town?" Sabre asked. "You don't need to help. You can use the time to think about everything I've told you and figure out what other questions you have and – "
"We will discuss this now."
Memory Steve approached the door to the Illusion Core, a room inside of the Illusion Tree. He enchanted it. Using one of the two levers he had, he placed it on the tree and opened the door. Sabre begrudgingly entered the portal with Memory Steve, arriving in the Memory Dimension.
"Oh, I forgot how creepy this place is." Sabre shuddered, surveying the lava lake and the trees. "Are we going anywhere in this dimension or just hanging out here?"
"Here is fine."
"Alright, Memory Steve. Tell me what you want to know and I'll answer." Sabre found an elevated grass block and took a seat. His shoulders tensed as he brought his legs to his chest and dug his hands into the dirt.
Memory Steve summoned a blue flower, which projected the memory of Sabre meeting Time Steve in his prison. How...How does he remember this if this memory is still in my possession? The flowers no longer go back to him because I apparently blocked his ability to recall them. But then it turned out I never erased his memories, so what is this flower?!
He jumped when the flower suddenly glitched pink and purple. It vanished out of his hands. He looked at the sky dumbfounded, attempting to summon other memories he took from Sabre.
No flowers came.
...Did those flowers even exist in the first place?
Memory Steve faced Sabre again. "How does being from a different world make you immune to my powers? And why did you pretend to be affected by them?"
"Well, you should have erased my memories every time I looked away from you, like how you erase other people's memories. The reason why you can't erase my memories is because..." Sabre twirled his hands around in a search for words before pointing at himself. "My memories don't get erased when I look away because...I'm not actually here."
"What does that mean? You are here. I can punch you. Wait, are you actually here?"
"Well, yes, but actually no," Sabre nervously laughed. "Remember back when you stole all of Rainbow Steve's memories and we forced you to give them back through that machine? But that somehow made you get a hold of Rainbow Steve's mind, which allowed you to possess him and make him attack me and Galaxy Steve? That was a jerk move, by the way; you are just an awful person.
"Basically, you were controlling Rainbow Steve in that area, while you were far away from us. That's like me. The person you're looking at right now is me. But the me who is actually controlling this entity is far, far away, in my world, which Reality Steve is trying to get to. So I'm not actually in this world. Just controlling an avatar who is in this world."
"So I can't erase your memories because you're actually somewhere else," Memory Steve realized. "I never truly made eye contact with you. I tried to erase the memories of this...avatar, but not the real you." Can that explain why I could still steal memories from him? Those flowers I thought were real...
"Yup."
"Then why did you pretend?" Memory demanded. He paced back and forth. "Why did you act like you forgot who I was every time I erased your memories? Not only that, but you also know exactly what memories you had to pretend to forget. How did you know that I came here to erase your memories of Illusion Steve or Time Steve?"
Sabre looked down, rubbing his two feet together. "Umm...I..."
"Spit it out!" Thunder echoed in the background.
Sabre flinched before he started to shake. "I know what memories I'm supposed to forget because I know every moment of your life! Because I'm from a world that's 'higher up' than this world, I actually know more about this world that I act like I do! I knew Void Steve and Galaxy Steve were related before Void Steve told me! I knew Hypno Steve would come in and destroy Origin Steve as I gave Origin Steve mercy! And I knew Time Steve's death was fake when Illusion Steve destroyed him in front of my eyes! I also know what memories you try to erase from me before you come to find me. That's why I'm able to pretend that you erased my memories when you actually can't do anything to me!"
Memory stepped back. "Are you saying you have future vision?" As he looked at Sabre from head to toe, he started to feel bitter. I can't believe another person with future vision bested me…
"No. It's not future vision," Sabre corrected, rubbing his temple. "I just know a lot about this world because of who I am. You can probably say I'm omniscient. You know how Reality Steve – back when he was Illusion – was always three steps ahead of me because he knew what I was planning? I'm like that...but eight times more ahead. Well, not anymore." He dipped his head in defeat. "I didn't expect Reality Steve to become self-aware and steal my account. Now I have no idea what's coming next."
"Then why did you pretend to me?" Memory Steve repeated. "Why did you pretend to your friends that your memories got erased? Did Rainbow Steve and Galaxy Steve even know?"
Sabre sighed, "Look, man. This one, I really don't know how to answer. Can we change the subject?"
"You're a clever man. I'm sure you'll eventually find an explanation. We have all the time we need."
"Well...you heard it from Reality Steve. I pretended to be affected by your powers to deceive everyone. Everyone would be suspicious if they knew I was immune to your powers. And Reality Steve kinda knew what he was talking about with illusions. I pretended so I could feel like this server was as real as my world. I wanted it to be real! And...I also pretended to convince other people that this world was real."
Memory Steve stopped pacing, ice forming in his chest. "...Other people? Who are they?"
"You know the Sky People?"
"Who?"
"The Sky People. You know, what Rainbow Steve said to the sky sometimes."
"...Okaaaay. What's the deal with a Sky Person?" Memory Steve rolled along with this. He wouldn't know. After being forced to give back the memories, he forgot about Rainbow Steve's habit of saying "hey what's going on, Sky people?!" to the sky occasionally.
"It's them! They're the people I'm trying to convince so they're more engaged in my adventures," Sabre explained. "As a player, I record all the adventures I have in this world through my point of view. When I leave this world, I show those recordings to other people in my world. That's why Rainbow Steve and I greeted the sky. We were greeting the people who would find and watch our recordings in the future!"
Memory Steve jumped back. Did his heart freeze, or was it racing faster and faster that he couldn't determine its rate anymore? "I...I refuse to believe you." He forced himself to look away as sweat formed underneath his mask. He wasn't saying that to anyone in particular.
"It's true. I'm going to be real with ya," Sabre insisted. "People watch what I do and the Steves I've encountered through my recordings. I know it sounds like I've been using all of you for entertainment. Well, I'll admit, it originally was. But I changed. I love the people here! I want them to live safe lives! When I record these adventures, it's not just for entertainment. It's to show my people all these wonderful Steves I've met and how amazing they are!"
"That's a lie. You're not showing off that all Steves are wonderful, because you're talking to me right now." Memory Steve glared at him again. "...How many people watch your recordings?"
"...I don't think you'll believe me with how many. Just stop, Memory Steve. I've answered enou – OW"
Memory Steve grabbed Sabre's head. A flash of white light.
He stepped back and looked at the harvested memory. It was white flower with details so bare that it resembled a silhouette. It glitched, pixels swarming it.
Sabre rubbed his head with a wince. "What did you do?!"
Memory Steve set the flower down between him and Sabre. The flower morphed into an glowing white entity. The entity grew the chicken's comb, creating Sabre's silhouette. Then it glitched and entered the sky, transforming into a 8x5 screen.
Memory Steve craned his neck upwards as the screen replayed the memory. The setting was a clean room with a desk, a chair, two monitors, and a complex, glowing machine. The details of these items were like nothing he had ever seen before. Not even the most skilled builders in the Overworld could recreate the details and complex shape of these items.
The point of view character in the memory, Sabre, sat down on the chair and activated the machine, which displayed images on both monitors.
"Hmm, looks like they really enjoyed Memory Steve's debut!" he exclaimed. "I'm glad they think he's a cool new villain!"
One monitor replayed a recording Sabre had mentioned, which looked just like the Overworld. Wait...is that me?! And are those the signs he and Rainbow Steve used to warn about me?! The recording was framed inside of a white interface in the monitor. At the top left corner of the interface was a red rectangle with a white triangle inside, accompanied by the text "YouTube."
What was underneath the recording would haunt Memory Steve forever.
Minecraft Steve Saga – MEMORY STEVE WIPED MY MEMORIES
35,096 views – Oct 7, 2018
FavreMySabre
628K subscribers
35,096 views.
35,096 views.
35,096 views.
Memory Steve stood numb, eyes glued to those cold numbers. He couldn't move, even after the memory ended. The screen shrunk back into a flower that floated into his hands, which let it slip to the ground.
35,096 views. 35,096 views. 35,096 views.
"I'm so confused," a voice fussed. "What is happening?! I – I don't remember having this memory. What did I just watch?"
Memory Steve didn't hear Sabre's words. He could only concentrate on the thoughts in his head. His gloved hands started to shake. What was he supposed to do now? What was he going to tell Sabre, now that he confessed everything? What was next? He didn't even know. He just kept thinking of that. How he demanded Sabre to tell him everything. How Sabre cheered about people watching his recordings.
Watching. Watching. Watching.
Why did he ask those questions? Why did he lose his composure and become so demanding? Oh, to have the ability to reverse that entire conversation. To start from scratch. But what good would that do? How could he un-curse himself with the knowledge Sabre held...
Lightning struck.
The island split into two, lava spewing through the cracks and severing the screaming swamp.
Someone in the corner of his eyes stumbled. "What's happening?!" The person got up and shook Memory Steve, who still stood stiffly despite losing sense and awareness of his legs. "Mem-Memory Steve, are you ok?! I think the dimension is falling apart because you're overwhelmed with emotions right now!"
Memory Steve kept his eyes glued on the absent screen, ignoring the flower by his foot. The violent, interrogating shakes of that person became indistinguishable from the rocking tremor of the island.
"Memory Steve!" The voice yelled. It sounded blurrier and blurrier as his heart thumped faster and faster. "Please, say something!"
Memory Steve flinched and finally tore his eyes off the sky. He jerked his head down, refusing to look at Sabre, instead focusing on the growing lava chasm.
The stampede of thunder drowned out Sabre's shouts. Memory Steve stared at the chasm and willed it to fix itself. It broke apart once, but I-I patched it up! I-I can patch it up again! Why isn't this working?!
Memory Steve threw his trembling hand towards the chasm. He bared his teeth as his hidden eyes watered. WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING?! FIX IT ALREADY, YOU STUPID STEVE!
The chasm roared and expanded. His head felt light as he mentally yelled and cursed at himself. It's just a stupid chasm. FIX IT, you stupid Steve. You stupid, stupid Steve!
"MEMORY, CALM DOWN!" Sabre shook his shoulder again.
Memory screamed, "I CAN'T DO THIS!" He shoved Sabre back and broke into a run, teleporting somewhere else.
He stumbled onto a small island, falling onto his knees. Lava bubbled and cackled, surrounding the island like a famished hoard of beasts.
His hands attacked his mask. When they couldn't find the clip, they worked more and more frantically until they ripped off the suffocating spiral veil, along with second, inner mask. The hostile air ambushed his face. The tears that clogged up his eyes finally streamed down, biting his face coldly until his burning cheeks countered it.
His hands jittered until the mask protested and slipped onto his lap. He hugged himself, feeling his heart thump against his wrist. He tried to breathe, but found his lungs too panicked to work. Only small inhales kept him awake, but was that any better?
His chest throbbed as rapid-fire hiccups and cries joined the gasps. When the tears intensified, it felt like his whole body was drowning from the drastic senses.
Just stay calm. Just stay calm. JUST STAY CALM. JUST STAY –
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH."
He shut his eyes. His hands gripped his arms like stinging chains as the thoughts and the anguish consumed him.
And he bawled.
When he could finally breathe again and the thunderstorm calmed, Memory Steve put on his balaclava and mask, and he returned to Sabre.
"There you are!" Sabre picked himself up, his onesie and hair looking disheveled. "Where did you go?!"
Memory Steve flinched and turned away. The thunder evolved back into a loud cacophony. His regained ability to breathe vanished, as if gravel suddenly replaced the air.
"Seriously, what is going on?! Why did you – oh my god." Sabre's mouth went agape. He nearly stumbled again. "I think I know what's happening. Memory Steve!"
Memory looked back at Sabre, who stepped forward and raised a concerned hand.
"Memory Steve...do you have social anxiety?"
"I – I don't know what that is," the Steve stuttered with the rhythm of the distant thunder.
"Social anxiety is what people from my world call behaviors or symptoms a person may have. And I think you have that, Memory. Are you uncomfortable with talking to people? Are you afraid of being watched when you do things?"
Memory Steve shut his hidden eyes tight as the tears threatened to spill again. Sabre was describing an all too familiar experience, and he didn't like it.
"Memory Steve, we aren't going anywhere until you finally say something." This was the quietest Sabre had ever spoken to him. He could barely hear the him over the sound of the Memory Dimension breaking apart. "Just please, answer my questions. I promise I won't judge."
...he nodded. "I'm deathly afraid, Sabre. So afraid of interacting with others and being watched."
"Then you might have social anxiety," Sabre replied. "Is...is that why you make people forget about you? Do you do that on purpose, or did your social anxiety somehow mix up with your powers and this just happens on its own?"
Memory Steve shrunk back and remained quiet. Sabre was so close to finding the truth. The reason why he lost control of his powers: this nervousness that plagued his entire life. This social anxiety, or whatever he called it, was the reason why people forgot about Memory Steve every time they looked away.
Sabre continued pestering. "Do you erase memories because you're afraid of what people are going to think about you, so you want them to forget so they don't think about you?"
Memory Steve shuddered, but forced himself to nod.
"Then...I can see why learning that I record the Steves and show them to thousands of people...made your mind snap. And I'm sorry, truly sorry, that you had to go through that." Sabre stepped forward again. "Please let me make it up to you. Let me help you. I can calm you down and find someone to give you professional help for your social anxiety. But you have to promise that you'll stop working for Reality Steve and help me fix this mess. If you do that, I'll help you live a better life where you'll be happier and you don't need to be afraid anymore."
Memory Steve grew hostile. "I don't believe you, player."
"What? Why?"
"Why are you pretending you're surprised?" He snarled. "Don't you know everything? That I have something wrong with me? You're just acting like you discovered my anxiety to treat my life as a game, aren't you? Reality Steve was right about you."
Sweat formed on Sabre's face. "No! I legit didn't know you had social anxiety! I do know a lot of things, but not everything. This is a complete surprise to me, I swear!"
"So you know every tragedy that will eventually happen to the Steves, but you know nothing about our internal struggles? Of course you do."
"Jeez, you make it sound like it's a bad thing!"
"It is a bad thing!" It was Memory Steve's turn to step forward, causing Sabre to fall back. "You're horrible and don't care about any of us! You may be a hero, but you know the plans of all your villains and you didn't stop them sooner. You just waited until the problems escalated to finally defeat us."
"I don't wait to solve things! It's more complicated than that! I may be omniscient, but I'm not omnipotent!"
"And you're certainly no hero."
"Oh, look who's talking." Sabre crossed his arms and curled his lip back into a snarl. "I learned a lot about you today, but it does not change the fact that you've been a villain since Day 1. You say I'm horrible for not doing much to save Steves? Well, you hurt more Steves. You helped drive Elemental Steve mad. He hurt Time Steve and he created Nightmare Steve, who destroyed so many Steves! You helped Void Steve, who hurt so many people. He hurt me. He hurt Galaxy Steve. And he hurt Rainbow Steve."
"It was to maintain the balance of the universe!"
"I don't care! You hurt people! And you don't even feel sorry about it! You're such a hypocrite for accusing me of being bad, when you don't take accountability for what you've done! You're probably right about all the things you said about me and maintaining the balance of the universe. But maybe if you tried being less evil, I would take your words seriously!"
Memory Steve gasped.
"What am I supposed to do with you now?" Void Steve muttered. "I've raised you and I've been there for you when our family abandoned us, and this is what I get? Just a fool who isn't evil enough for my plans."
Memory formed a fist as his veins turned to ice. "I don't feel sorry because I'm supposed to hurt them! You are an outsider; your actions by default upset the balance of this world. I'm part of this world. The role I play is natural. I'm doing what I was made to do: keeping this world stable by being evil and opposing the good. That's what my father – "
"YOUR FATHER KILLED MY SON!"
Memory jumped back. The thunder ceased and the lava fell still. The air was deadly quiet.
Sabre's breathing grew heavy as the corner of his mouth twitched into a vengeful scowl. His hand reached for his bandana and tore it off.
His hood slipped off as his white eyes revealed themselves. Deceptively blank, the pupil-less eyes blazed like a ghostly gateway to knowledge and wrath. Memory hissed and shielded his face from the light, but the unreal gaze demanded him to acknowledge the player like how the sun asserted its presence in summer.
"You think I don't care?" Sabre sniffed as his white eyes cried. "You think I don't care because I'm not part of this world and see it as a game? You're dead wrong. Where I'm from, people tell me I shouldn't care about this world and I should focus on other things in life, but I don't listen to them. This world is real to me. Rainbow, he...he was my son! I loved him as if he were my own. I had a son in this world. I had a family here and that's how I made this world feel real to me!
"And then Void Steve...he took him away from me. He took my world away.
"Yes, because I'm outside of this world, I already knew he would kill Rainbow. But no matter how many times I tried to free Rainbow from his own fate. No matter how many times I tried to get him back on my side. No matter how many times I tried to accept his death as inevitable. No matter how many times I tried to use by abilities from my world to bring him back.
"No matter how many times...nothing prepared me for the pure, utter despair I felt when Rainbow was taken away.
"What I felt for Rainbow was real. Say whatever you want about me – I don't care – but don't you dare say that the love I had for my son – for the family and friends I made in this world – meant nothing to me...Especially when you broke apart your own family just because Void Steve told you to erase their memories."
Memory flinched and a chill went down his spine.
"Please...just leave Elemental Steve alone!"
"NO. I'VE MADE UP MY MIND. THAT'S FINAL."
"..."
"Just remember, Memory Steve, you made me do this."
Wrath consumed him.
"YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME."
Memory charged at Sabre. The glowing eyes widened as Memory swung a powerful punch. The player went flying back.
And into the lava.
Sabre let out bloodcurdling screams as the volcanic matter engulfed him. His arms flailed around in a fruitless attempt to grab anything. He sunk deeper and deeper into the lava until his screams ceased.
Memory Steve panted. His legs felt like sand as he fell to his knees. Every breath felt miserable as his eyes became heavy. At this moment, he wished the lava in the Memory Dimension was fatal.
Something burst out of the lava, radiating strong light. Memory Steve jerked his head back with a hiss. Searching with his hands, he felt the item hover to him. He managed to feel the soft petals before the pixelated glitches made his fingers go numb. It was a white, glitching flower that glowed bright, for it was all of Sabre's memories.
He took off his two masks with a trembling hand. A smile crawled onto his face. "I did it. Finally, I did it...for real this time."
As small gray flowers formed and intertwined themselves with the white flower, Memory Steve completely fell to the ground, barely any energy left in him. Despite a huge weight taken off his shoulders, he felt the entire universe crushing him.
How was this supposed to be a victory?
...It wasn't.
Memory Steve flicked the flower into the night sky. It joined the blue stars, becoming a luminous entity with rays of light that stretched across the sky. As he felt drowsier and drowsier, Memory Steve recognized that this wasn't the end.
This wasn't the end of his mission.
Erasing all of Sabre's memories was just the beginning. He had new goals to complete, and a more sinister path to follow.
But for now, the only thing he could do was wait for Reality Steve to return.
Remorseful Recollections of the Forgotten Family:
Act 1: END
Chapter 14 word count: 4695
Act 1 word count: 77,095 (approx.)
Act 1 is dooooone *collapses*
Act 2 will begin next week with a new chapter, on the same book!
I hope you really enjoyed this chapter! It's one of my favorites! I hope you look forward to the start of Act 2 next week!
Take care and stay safe.