Content warning: this chapter depicts depression, anxiety, and self-destructive behavior

The last Act 2 chapters have been really hard to edit, but Chapter 42 was really rough on me because it hit too close to home. So I want to make extra sure that you guys stay careful when reading. If the content is triggering, please stop reading or talk to someone or a hotline if you need to. I appreciate you guys, so please stay safe.

There was a knock on the door. The handle creaked as it turned. Someone huffed as the door grated against the now uneven floorboards. Assisted with a stronger shove, the door scraped against the weeds and flowers that had taken over this once pristine floor.

The newcomer panted and entered the room, his steps over the plants softer than the raspy prying of the door. "Hey, Memory," Time spoke. "It's me again."

Memory didn't turn to look, keeping his back against the bedroom door as he lay gloomily in bed. Ever since the night he had found Illusion, he barely moved, only getting up to flip his pillow over, get a new one, or force himself to fulfill his basic needs. He sometimes forgot that moving was an option or that he had limbs he could move. The blanket felt like a better representation of him than his actual body.

He heard Time approach him and set something on the bedside table behind him. He smelled a waft of fresh bread.

"I'm just checking in," Time said. "You ok?"

Memory didn't turn to look. He wasn't focused; his emotionless gaze just happened to be fixed on the edge of his bed, which he could only see as a faint highlight. With curtains covering the window, the room was dark. But since he slept so much, the dark room had become indistinguishable from him closing his eyes.

"I brought you food," Time said. "Can you please eat or drink something this time?"

Memory didn't turn to look.

Time's heels tapped anxiously against the floor. "Memory, I'm getting worried about you. Time may be frozen in this dimension, but you'll still get hungry and need to eat, even if you don't feel like it. Look, if time had passed here ever since you returned from the Overworld...you'd have been here for two weeks straight."

Memory didn't turn to look.

Time huffed. There was the sound of a tray being lifted from a surface. Footsteps circled around the bed until Time's wide silhouette appeared in front of Memory. He placed down a candle, giving the room a dim light. It didn't hurt his eyes, but Memory still winced and used a corner of his blanket to shield his exposed face. Once he recovered, he glared at Time, who only took off his mask to reveal he was happy to finally get a response.

Time set the tray on the second small table that flanked the window-side of the bed. He sighed and knelt down to get eye-level with Memory. "How about this: if you eat and drink something, I'll tell you about my progress with restoring Illusion's memories."

Memory flinched. He had no idea what emotion he expressed, but it made Time smile.

Memory sighed and sat up on the edge of the bed, pulling the blanket with him to stay wrapped in it. Time nodded in approval and sat on a nearby chair, his clock mask resting on his lap.

On the bedside table were several scattered flowers and his spiral mask. They were gently pushed aside to make space for the tray, which carried a water bottle, a cooked fish, a loaf of bread, some cookies, and utensils. The bread's warm scent was stronger than ever.

Memory grabbed the water bottle while pushing the matted hair out of his face. With only one hand holding the blanket around him now, he suddenly felt self-conscious about his appearance. He wore only a dirty t-shirt and pajama pants, and he probably smelled. He knew Time wouldn't judge him, but the fact that he couldn't remember the last time he showered made it a challenge to relax and swallow the water.

Time fortunately wasn't watching him, but he was scanning the room instead. Even though he spent most of his time staring at one wall or nothing in particular, Memory knew that all the walls and floor were infested with flowers. When he had the energy for his powers, he had summoned flowers to his bed, and over time, his room had become a mess. Since Memory hadn't returned them to the Void sky, the flowers had accumulated in numbers and eventually pierced their roots into the walls and floor, residing on them like parasites and making the original wood and stone structure unrecognizable.

"Umm..." Time began. "Are you using these flowers for anything? If not, I can get them out of your room."

Memory dipped his head and refused to respond. He instead grabbed the bread, genuinely surprised by how the warm and soft it was. He tore a third of it off and concentrated on eating. He did use those flowers and wasn't done using them, but he didn't want to tell Time what for. He did try to desummon the flowers a while back. But when he realized that moving embedded flowers took too much energy, he gave up and allowed each new flower to add more weight onto his growing stress.

"I guess you can answer my question later," Time said, a bit disappointed. He cleared his throat, causing Memory to look up. Time wore a serious expression. "Sabre, Alex, and Galaxy are halfway done with the machine. It's almost ready to transfer Sabre's account to whoever accepts it. I speak for all of my friends when I say that I'm truly grateful that you gave us Reality's memory as a reference. You have no idea how badly I want to rescue Elemental."

Memory didn't respond. He didn't understand why Time was praising him so much. All he did was give a memory, which he shouldn't have taken in the first place.

He had no idea how many days into the project Time and the others were in. Since the Memory Dimension was frozen in time ever since he returned home, it was still technically the first day of their project to Memory. Time, with his powers, was able to visit Memory frequently while still moving forward in the Overworld's timeline to work on the machine.

Memory felt more tired as he gave Time a desperate look. He wanted news about him.

Time exhaled and sank down in defeat. "As for Illusion...Well, he knows what his past is. I gave him a flashback of his entire life, but he doesn't believe that it's really his past. He can't feel anything about his past or understand why he did all those things he did in his past. To him, they're just flashbacks, not memories."

Memory set his food down and gazed at his lap. He closed his eyes as the tears began to swell, and he had to focus all his energy in making sure none spilled.

"Illusion's too smart for his own good, huh?" Time continued. "He always needs to learn more. He analyzed my flashbacks and told me forty reasons why they were not enough to convince him to believe they were his past. At least he's being himself." Time gave an awkward chuckle. If he wasn't focused on holding back the tears, Memory would had glared at him for joking.

Time perked up. "But I have a plan, and I need your help for it."

Memory blinked away the tears and looked at Time.

"Remember when you first met Illusion?" Time asked. "When he was making a deal with you, he warned you to never attack him, since he made a machine that backed up his memories."

The what? Memory looked away until he remembered what Time was talking about. That machine. He never saw the machine, but he had been shocked by Illusion's machine-building capabilities back then. But did that machine even work? Or was it just a bluff Illusion gave him, back when they were enemies?

After Memory nodded, Time continued, "I found the machine. But it's been a while since Illusion backed up his memories. The machine only holds backup memories all the way to the day before he became Reality Steve. So that's back when he hated me and the other heroes...so we can't use those backups to restore his memories."

Memory looked down, the small bit of hope in his chest crushed. Why did you tell me all that then?

Time stood up straighter. "So I have a different plan: I'm trying to figure out how the machine works. Once I figure it out, I want to back up your memories into that machine."

Memory tensed, his heart lurching. Time's eyes widened. "Oh, we'll adjust the machine to have extra space, and it'll operate without locking anyone in," he assured. "After we create a copy of your memories, you can give Illusion his memories back. You'll forget about him, but then I'll use the machine to give you the backup memories. That way, you'll both remember each other! That's my plan. We can also use that machine to restore Sabre's world's memories."

Memory relaxed. He gave a grateful nod to his cousin. He was glad to have a cousin who was so smart and could handle things better. He was glad that someone could help him. But he also felt ashamed, knowing that he was burdening Time with all this hard work by causing this dilemma in the first place.

For the millionth time, Memory bitterly asked himself, why did I mess everything up? Why did I hurt Illusion?

"So, can you help with my plan?" Time asked. "I'd really appreciate your help. All you have to do is come to the Time Dimension and let the machine create backups of your memories. It'll be really simple. And afterwards, we can hang out with Illusion." He added a friendly smile. "Maybe having something to look forward to will help you out."

Memory perked up. When Time beamed more, Memory shyly looked away, shocked at how alleviated he felt. He hadn't felt this positive in so long, and he badly wanted to see Illusion again, even when his memories were incomplete.

Why did I mess everything up?

Time scooted his chair closer to him. "There's no rush, Memory. Come back to the Overworld when you're ready to. I'm here for you and if you need anything, just ask. You have several people who care about you and will be happy to help. I hope knowing that cheers you up."

Memory drew out a silent hiss. People? Caring for him? Why would they want to?

Time sighed. "I know I just said there was no rush. You can take as much time as you need until you're ready to come back, but I still worry for you. If you stay here for too long, I'll have to do something. I won't force you to leave, but I will bring Sabre here to talk to you. He's willing to help you talk through things, and he said he's started looking for a therapist who can come to this server to see you. They can help you work on your anxiety, your trauma, and anything else you worry about."

Memory just felt dread instead of hope, and he quickly looked away again.

"Look, I'm just worried, so I want to give you all the time you need, but also make sure that you're getting the help you need."

Memory sighed. He knew he should be using his time alone in the Memory Dimension to feel better. To get over the horrible emotions he felt that night when he saw Void's true colors.

But he felt nowhere close to getting over what he felt that night.

Seeing Void for who he truly was hurt him in a way no other pain had hurt him before. It locked him down, like he was chained to a concrete ball that was too heavy to move.

He should be making progress. He should be finding a way to break free from this chain. Or he should be motivating himself to keep moving, forcing this concrete ball to move with him.

But he wasn't. If anything, he had just been tugging on the chain. Tugging. Enough to remind himself of this concrete ball and all of his pain. Enough to make his muscles ache from all the tugging. But not enough to make himself or the concrete ball budge.

That was what his time in the Memory Dimension felt for him. No progress, just pain. Was that bad? He could ask Time, but he didn't know how to translate his experience into words.

Time spoke again. "Again, no rush. But to give you some motivation, you can hang out with Illusion once you're ready to come back! Oh, that reminds me: I have a present for you."

Memory tilted his head curiously as Time withdrew a colorful box from his inventory. It was a horizontal box about twice as long as a shoebox.

Time handed it to Memory, who set the box on his lap. "It's actually a gift from me and Alex. While I was working near the Illusion Tree, I accidentally chipped off one of its wood blocks. Alex and I decided to craft it into a gift for you. Also, she wants you to have this."

Time handed Memory a colorful card. Memory opened it and read it.

Hey Memory,

Thank you so much for bringing Illusion back to us and getting through to him! You have no idea how much that means to us, and how much that says about your strength and how great of a friend you are.

I've heard about what happened from Time, and that you've been feeling hurt about it. I wanted to give you my condolences. I still remember how wrecked I felt when I was in a similar position. It's ok to feel hurt. Just don't bottle it up, ok?

I'm here for you, and I believe you can get through this. There are better days ahead, and I hope they come soon for you. If you need anything, like support, someone who can listen, or maybe funny stories to get your mind off things, let me know and I'll try to help out. Feel free to write back if that's easier.

Your friend, Alex.

Memory dropped the card to his lap, feeling stunned. He opened the box, revealing an arrow inside. It was too heavy and clunky to be a practical arrow, making it obvious that it was only for decorative purpose. He delicately picked up the arrow, inspecting the details. The wooden shaft of the arrow was dark brown with orange veins like the Illusion Tree, and it felt magical to brush his fingers along it. The point of the arrow was purple with black, white, and gray accents, the four colors of the asexual flag. The feathery end of the arrow looked more like a bouquet of feathers than a proper fletching, but it was gorgeous. The feathers were dyed green, lime green, white, gray, and black; the five colors of the aromantic flag.

Memory saw that the arrow's clunky body had a message carved into it.

You're always welcomed to our family, no matter what. – Time Steve.

Memory set the arrow back in the box with trembling hands, a sound lodged into his throat. He covered his mouth as he started to sob.

Time sat next to him on the bed and gave him a side hug.

Memory's sobs grew louder. "It's – it's lovely," he managed to say. "It's so lovely. Thank you. Thank you so much." It was exhausting to cry now. Once it happened, it took forever to stop. But this was the first time he cried from being overwhelmed with an emotion that wasn't pain, shame, or guilt. The fact that someone cared about him that much, despite all the trouble he had caused...How could Time do this? He didn't deserve any of his kindness.

He felt Time rub his back soothingly. "You're welcome. I'm glad you like it."

Memory returned the hug. The tears streamed faster as he rested his head on Time. "I-I missed you. All these generations apart, I missed you so much. I hope you know that. I still have trouble believing it myself."

"It'll be ok, Memory. I promise you that." Time quivered and started to cry too. "S-Soon, you won't have to miss us anymore. We'll all be a family again...one big, happy family..."

Word count: 2716