Trifle Not With Olorin

By Rob Morris

Northlands have their Rangers

Deep Woods have their Elves

The whole of Arda has Gandalf Mithrandir

He's a Maiar in Human Form

Yea, he looks as old as the hills they say

But he can throw down with Old Tom B

And when folk raise a glass and sing their songs

Old Gandalf he always comes up, a matter of course

So They Swear

One doesn't walk into Mordor

One does not halt Iluvitar's Song

One should mind the boundaries of the Old Elf Kingdoms

And Trifle Not With Olorin

Know an age before this came another Maiar

He said I am Annatar King Of Gifts

I am giving these rings

Twenty silly old things

But I dropped one while called Sauron

So I spy high and low and to large and small

To bring order where I see none

And if some old wizard should find in my path

I see that his chastisement will be most fun

And all songs were raised to this one

One does not break an oath to the Dead

One does not steal coin from a Dwarf's tin

One does not seek to make a Hobbit Meal-Late

And Best Not Trifle With Olorin

Well, war fell upon all of Arda

While One Ring was hushed to the gate

And when Mount Doom had reclaimed

The only crumb of Sauron's kingdom

Was that Easter Egg in Kong 05

Yes, that very Black Gate had crumbled

Minas Morgul had fallen too

And as his powerless spirit was blown with Saruman's

Broken Sauron sang it true

They All Warned

One path-follows not a Fallen Dark Lord

One does not treat with drakes and balrogs

One does not feed bright spheres to Enhungered Ungoliant

And Trifle Not With Olorin

Tis' True: Sauron learned late his cipher; The student of Nienna will learn pity of you, Aye, though you hold all the world in terror, three tiny ones guided by that meager old wizard – he sails for home, you just wait for Huron's kin on the last day

One does not seek a kingdom of metal

One does not seek to dwell by trees

One does not go off and vanish in the Far East

Or you with Trifle With Olorin