Author's Note:
Revised Chapter Four has arrived.
Reviews, comments and suggestions are welcome.
CHAPTER FOUR
Helena sat on John's bed, slowly running a comb through her still slightly damp hair. The gentle strokes created a rhythmic sound that filled the room. She found comfort in this simple ritual while waiting for John to finish his own shower. Despite having their own quarters, there were times when solitude became too lonely, and the need for each other's company and comfort became undeniable. Tonight was one of those nights, the aftermath of their recent ordeal still heavy on their minds.
Standing in the shower had felt like restorative therapy to both her body and soul. The steam had enveloped her, bringing a sense of warming tranquility that she desperately needed. As the water had cascaded down her body, it washed away not only the soot and grime from their rushed escape from the dying Psychon but also the lingering weight of the entire nightmarish ordeal. She had felt each droplet carrying away the stress and anxiety. The hot water had eased the tension in her muscles, loosening knots she hadn't even realized were there, and the scent of soap and shampoo was a welcome contrast to the acrid smoke and alien atmosphere they had left behind.
She sighed deeply, her thoughts drifting to the recent events - the destruction of Psychon, the loss of lives, and the grief of the survivors. It was a lot to process, and she was grateful for these rare moments of peace, however brief they were. Helena glanced towards the bathroom, knowing that John was likely finding the same solace beneath the warm spray. They didn't need to speak to understand each other's pain; their shared experiences had created an unspoken bond that mere words could not capture.
John finally emerged from the small bathroom, wearing his greyish blue bathrobe over just a pair of regulation pajama pants. His dark hair still damp, he rubbed a towel over it as he walked into the room.
He found Helena sitting on his bed, a clipboard and pen in hand. She glanced up when he entered, offering him a tired but warm smile.
"I wonder what size shoe Maya wears?" she said aloud, tapping her pen against the clipboard.
"Trying to get her a wardrobe?" John asked, raising an eyebrow as he hung the towel over a nearby chair.
Helena nodded. "I'm pretty sure I can size the clothes for her, but the shoes, I'm not so sure."
John chuckled softly. "I know you'll manage," he said reassuringly as he sat down beside her on the bed. He glanced at the clipboard, admiring her dedication to others even when exhausted.
Helena put the clipboard aside and looked at him with loving concern. "How are you holding up?" she asked him gently, her voice filled with empathy.
John sighed and gave her an uncertain look. "I have to admit it Helena, for a little while I really didn't think we were going to get out of this one."
"We have Maya to thank for that," Helena said, her tone soft.
John nodded, his expression turning more somber. "Yes, we do."
He rubbed his hand over his eyes.
"Helena, I didn't realize that destroying Psyche would destroy the entire planet until it was too late. I told Maya I wanted to stop her father, not harm him."
He remembered the moment he and Maya entered the grove that housed Psyche. Visions of the attacks on Alpha flashed through his mind—young Torens in the pits, the faces of Alan, Helena, and Bill, those hideous devices lowered over their heads. The panicked look on Helena's face, knowing they would soon meet the same fate as Torens and the other diverse lifeforms that had been in the pits of Psychon. Those images had tormented him then and probably would for quite some time. He saw the bubbling, colored liquids flowing through the tubes attached to Psyche and heard the weird screeching sound that accompanied it.
From the moment they entered the grove, he knew he had to act quickly. His entrance, being accompanied by Mentor's own daughter, had caught the deranged scientist off guard and completely unprepared.
All of John's suppressed anger had risen to the surface in a heartbeat. He had just begun swinging the limb or rock or whatever it had been that he had just pulled off and he had begun swinging at everything. He had smashed the glass tubes of Psyche; he had hammered control panels. Fragments of glass had flown, sparks had emerged. Mentor had pleaded with him to stop, had begged his daughter to stop him. John's control, his rationale, his logic – all of it had vanished, replaced with vengeance and hatred towards the obscenity that Mentor had created.
And by then, it was too late. John Koenig had effectively signed the death warrant for the planet and for Mentor.
Helena saw the deep remorse etched on his face, the weight of his actions pressing heavily on him. She moved closer, her eyes searching his as she placed a palm on his shoulder.
"John, you couldn't have known the full extent of what would happen. You were simply trying to protect us all, to stop Mentor's destructive plans."
John's gaze was distant, his mind replaying the harrowing events. "Lives that were lost, lives that have been forever changed." Koenig closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, the weight of his decision pressing down on him. "The burden of command," he murmured, his voice heavy with resignation.
Helena reached out, taking his hand in hers, her touch warm, loving and grounding. "You did what you had to do John. Mentor was willing to sacrifice us all for his twisted dream of Psychon's restoration. You saved lives by stopping him, even if the cost was unimaginable."
John shook his head, the guilt still gnawing at him, a dark shadow in his eyes. "At what price, Helena? The death of an entire planet."
Helena's grip on his hand tightened, her voice steady and reassuring. "You saved Maya, you've given her a chance for a different life" she reminded him as she kissed his hand. "And we still have a home, we still have each other."
"You always know what to say," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, filled with gratitude and admiration for this wonderful woman.
"Because I know you John," she smiled warmly at him; her blue eyes soft with understanding. "And I know that you would never have made that choice if there had been any other way. Mentor had reached the point where he was never going to let go of his vision. It was your only choice, John."
John nodded slowly, her words beginning to pierce through his cloud of guilt. "You're right Doctor Russell," he said, a small grateful smile forming on his lips. "As always."
Helena leaned in, her forehead resting against his, their closeness a balm to his troubled soul. "We'll get through this, John. Together."
In that moment, they found solace in each other's presence, drawing strength from each other. The future ahead was uncertain, but they knew they wouldn't have to face it alone.
John was moving in to kiss her when his commlock chimed, shattering their quiet intimate moment. It was Jameson, from Technical.
"Commander, I wanted to let you know that we discovered some issues in the quarters unit that you asked us to prepare," he informed Koenig apologetically.
"How long to finish?" John asked, his voice steady, laced with just a hint of impatience.
"Should be complete by late tomorrow afternoon, sir."
John nodded. "That's fine, Jameson. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Commander."
John put his commlock back on the bedside nightstand and turned back to Helena, a mixture of frustration and exhaustion in his eyes.
With a shrug, he looked at Helena. "Well doctor, what do you suppose we do with our Psychon for the rest of the night?"
Helena looked at him and then she grinned mischievously at him. She was not only touched by John's concern but also couldn't resist teasing him a little to help lighten his mood. Tilting her head to the side, her hair bouncing ever so slightly as she did so, she chuckled softly.
"She's your daughter now, John," she said, playfully patting his leg while she smiled her beautiful smile. "I'm sure you'll come up with something."
John chuckled at her teasing, appreciating her effort to lift his spirits.
"Oh, I see," he finally replied, smiling much more at the woman he loved. "Well, let's get dressed and go pay young Tony a visit."
While Helena had successfully managed to ease his tension, he was now feeling a hint of apprehension as he wondered how Tony might react to the news that Maya's new home wasn't quite ready.
Tony pointed his commlock at his door, allowing entry to his guests. Then, he placed it back down on the table, looked up and smiled at Dr. Russell and the Commander as they came through his door.
"Come on in," he greeted them.
Upon entering Tony's quarters, both Helena and John were pleasantly surprised at what they found.
Maya and Tony were sitting side by side on the couch, obviously engrossed in an unknown book. Maya's hair now hung loosely, revealing just how long it was now that she wasn't wearing it up in the previous intricate style that she had worn when on Psychon. It was still slightly damp from an obvious shower that she must have taken since arriving at Tony's. More importantly, there was a happier, more relaxed expression on her face.
It even looked as though she might actually have been laughing – a welcome sight given the current circumstances.
"We came by to see how Maya was doing," John began as he and Helena began walking towards them, but then he suddenly stopped speaking and walking as he became aware of the black shirt that the young Psychon was wearing.
He shook his head slightly as he did a double-take and then looked at Tony with an inquisitive raised eyebrow.
"Tony, what did you give her to wear?"
"Oh," Maya interjected with a shy smile. "It is the Rolling Stones," she said rather proudly, looking at Tony to confirm that she had gotten it correct.
"Oh, I know what it is, Maya," John said, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Tony, please don't tell me you're trying to corrupt this young lady already."
"Aw, come on, John, not everyone listens to classical music, especially not us young folks," Tony grinned mischievously, clearly savoring the chance to be a bit more laid-back in this moment.
"Tony's going to introduce me to all kinds of Earth music," Maya said with enthusiasm as she began listing them off. "Classical, rock, smooth jazz, opera and…" she paused, obviously struggling to remember the rest.
"Everything but country," Tony interjected with a playful grin. "Now that really would be corrupting her."
"Well, music is a good way to learn about our culture. Even country music Tony," Helena reminded him, her tone both approving and concerned. Given the shirt, she was now very curious about the book that they had obviously been looking at.
"What literature are you showing her now?" she asked, her expression revealing both her curiosity and her professional interest for Maya's emotional well-being.
"We've been looking at his family photo album," Maya said as she looked at Tony to make sure she had the correct words. Then, she glanced at the Commander, then Doctor Russell and then back at Tony before giving a little giggle.
"He really was a very skinny little child."
"Hey," Tony mockingly grumbled, pretending to be offended.
John and Helena couldn't help but laugh at the younger people. It was good to see Maya looking refreshed and much happier than she had been just a few hours earlier. Both felt an overwhelming sense of relief at seeing Maya actually interacting with Tony. It was a beginning step for her in navigating the grief journey, a small step forward. Witnessing her smile and hearing her laugh, even if only for a moment, gave them hope that, in time, she would begin to heal from the nightmare that had been Psychon's death song.
Helena's eyes met John's, and they shared a silent understanding. They both knew the road ahead for all of them would still be challenging, especially Maya, but moments like this were light and enjoyable.
John turned to Tony, realizing it was time to talk about the most important reason for their visit.
"I spoke with Jameson a little bit ago. Some interior technical work still needs to be completed before Maya can have her quarters. Probably won't be ready until tomorrow afternoon though.
Tony surprised them all with his response.
"I've got a couch," he offered, patting the empty space to his side. "If Maya doesn't mind, she's more than welcome to have the bed tonight," he turned to look at her, curious at how she would respond to this change of plans.
"But Tony, I don't want to take your bed from you," she said in a low voice, clearly worried about imposing upon this man who had already demonstrated so much kindness in such a short amount of time.
"Hey, I'm a professional at sleeping on couches," he grinned. "One night isn't going to break me."
Maya looked at him with concern, scraping her teeth over her bottom lip as she considered the dilemma.
"I don't want to be a bother to anybody," she murmured regretfully.
Tony quickly took one of her hands in his. "You are no bother, believe me," he told her firmly and honestly.
Maya turned her eyes from Tony and looked at Helena and the Commander, both for guidance and approval that this was something she could do.
Helena stepped forward; her eyes soft with empathy for the younger woman. "Well, you will be with someone for the rest of the night and remember, I'm not that far away if you need me," she stated reassuringly.
"Then it's settled," Tony declared with finality. "Now, it's late and she's in good hands, so off to sleep, you two," he said like a concerned parent as he waved his hand towards his door. "We could all use the rest."
John looked at Helena, then back at the two younger people sitting on the couch.
"You're the boss, Tony," John said. He was relieved that Verdeschi seemed to be taking charge of Maya's arrival on Alpha and managing it far better than he had expected, given those earlier conversations onboard the Eagle and in Medical Center.
As Helena and John prepared to leave, they shared yet another private glance.
It seemed that Maya would, indeed, be in good hands, and for tonight, that was enough.
After the walk back to his quarters, Helena and John had finally settled into bed. The light panels had been dimmed to just the slightest hint of blue so that the room was not completely dark. Snuggled against him, Helena had already drifted off to sleep. But, despite the fact that he was exhausted, John couldn't seem to turn his mind off.
They had lost three more good people. Alpha had sustained more damage and they had totally lost three more Eagles. After nearly a year, the hope of ever returning to Earth had nearly vanished, becoming little more than a dying ember.
Koenig found himself wondering why they just couldn't find a nice planet to call home instead of continually wandering the universe. It seemed that most aliens they encountered did little more than chip away at any hope and perseverance they had left. Was it any wonder that they had crew members beginning to display emotional health issues?
Which brought him round to the matter of indoctrinating Maya into the Alphan community. While he had chosen to keep the information about their return to Alpha from Psychon limited to just a few trusted staff, the start of the new day would bring new issues.
There would need to be the disclosure of losing Picard and Torens, something that he had not chosen to do given the late hour of their arrival back on Alpha. Picard had been both outgoing and charming and called everyone his friend. Torens had recently begun dating a young technician who would need to be informed of the loss.
And then there was Maya. Tony was right when he referred to some of the Alphans as hotheads. These were people who had just about reached their capacity on how much more they could take and handle as professionals. They were angry, they were tired of living on the moon with no ability to plan their futures and they were itching to unleash all of their frustrations on anything, or anyone, that gave them cause, justifiable or not.
As a fellow human, Koenig couldn't blame them.
After all, hadn't he done the same when he had stormed into Mentor's grove of Psyche and started blindly smashing at just about everything?
As the commander, he had to ensure that everyone maintained control which meant Helena and her well-trained team had to deal with the complexities of the growing effects on their overall mental health.
For what it was worth, John was extremely thankful for Verdeschi's surprising acceptance of the young Psychon tonight. She was far safer with him than she would have been in Medical Center or anywhere else on the base. Remarkably, it seemed like the two of them had formed a rather quick and friendly bond. While Verdeschi could be brash, skeptical and even a hothead himself, he apparently had an unexpected softer, more patient side as evident tonight with Maya.
John supposed that was to be expected given that both Tony and Maya were young. He suspected that Maya might begin to form relationships with other younger Alphans first, once she was ready.
John felt Helena's hand rest gently on his chest, and he smiled. Despite the hardships of being cast away from Earth, it had gifted him with this beautiful and remarkable woman. Several years ago, he couldn't have imagined being in another relationship after the loss of his wife. However, life on Alpha had not only meant working closely with Helena but also seemed to have drawn them together by destiny. Content with her by his side, he closed his eyes, hoping sleep would soon follow.
In the morning, he would continue to play the role of the commander and continue taking care of Moonbase Alpha and all of her inhabitants.