Meanwhile, back in the bathroom of her room, Melanie was finishing her song while she finished composing her text message about what happened for Sensei Lucy.
"My lamb and martyr, this will be over soon," Melanie sang, copying and pasting the text message to send to her parents and Lunet. "You look so precious. You look so precious. You look so precious."
Once the text message was copied and pasted to all the right places, Melanie sent them all. Despite having sent the messages, she was no calmer than she was before. In fact, she felt worse.
Melanie was struggling to breathe. Her thoughts were rushing. No two thoughts in her brain were connecting. Her eyes were filling with tears. She curled up into a ball and continued to cry, having completely forgotten that she was still on the line with her Nun-ja sisters.
"Melanie," Lucy's voice said. "Melanie, it's me. Don't say anything in case someone is listening. Just listen to what I say. You are having a panic attack. You need to do something to calm yourself down. Okay? So, get up and find something to do to calm you down. Did your parents bring you your keyboard?"
"Yes," Melanie whispered.
"Then get up and go," Lucy said.
Melanie then got to her feet and opened the bathroom door. After unlocking the door to her bedroom in case anyone came by, she turned around and looked for her keyboard.
That was when Melanie noticed the pictures. They were hand drawn pictures of Melanie and people laughing at her and calling her a freak, Demencia being featured the most prominently among them. Melanie looked around. The pictures circled around her bed and the characters all pointed to the center. It was obviously Demencia's handiwork, and she couldn't have picked a worst time to show it off.
Melanie shook with anger. Then did three things. First, she snapped a picture of the drawings to send to both her families. Second, she sent the photos. Then finally, Melanie went into a frenzy tearing every drawing off the wall she could find.
Melanie's heartbeat grew louder. Her blood pressure grew higher, and her fingertips grew hotter and hotter until flames started poking out of her fingertips.
"Melanie. It's okay. I'm right here."
Melanie recognized her Father's voice. She paused in place with all the drawings on the floor.
"But, Father, you've seen what they've done," Melanie whimpered. "You see what's happening. I'm turning into a demon. What am I supposed to do?"
"You are not a demon. You are what I say you are, and you are my beloved child. No one has the right to call you otherwise, not even Black Hat."
"Then why is everything in me saying I am?" Melanie asked. "Father, I'm part grim reaper, death god, whatever my Papi calls himself. I can summon fire from Hell. I'm from a family of demons and witches. You say that I'm your child, one of your heroes, but everyone around me is telling me I'm not. What is the point of even fighting it? Why should I bother when everyone wants me to be something else?"
"Because no one else has the right to tell you who you are but you and God," Lucy said, getting Melanie's attention.
Melanie paused and telepathically sent out a pulse to be sure that any video or audio was disabled before continuing.
"You both say that, but I'm the one with fire coming out of my fingertips," Melanie said with tears rolling down her face. "What am I supposed to do with that? Black Hat said it was fire from Hell. He also called me his grand-niece and said I was partly what he was. God, Lucy, I'm a monster…"
"No, you're not!" Lucy cried over the phone. "Melanie, you can't help your ancestry or your family history, but you are in control of yourself and what you become. I know. Black Hat fed me similar lines. He said that I had the blood of the yakuza in me and that was something I should never turn against. Yet I did."
"You aren't part demon," Melanie protested sadly. "You don't have a blood connection to Black Hat because of your stupid great-grandfather."
Lucy laughed gently and said, "Why should that matter? You're still a Nun-ja with so many sisters who love you to pieces. Through God, all things are possible. Every day, your soul is being purified into His image. That is something Black Hat can't change no matter how badly he wants it to. Remember that."
"I want to, but I feel so weak," Melanie said with a few more tears coming out of her eyes as she pulled her 505 jacket on over her dress. "When I was there in Black Hat's grasp, all I could feel and think about was how scared I was. I want to remember how loved my Father makes me feel. I want to feel the freedom and the hope I felt that day with the Nun-jas when I was baptized. I want to remember that and hold onto that, but suddenly, it's like those feelings are slipping away."
"Sometimes, that happens," Lucy admitted. "Feelings are never constant. That is why we need to find ways to connect to the Spirit within us to remember. Because even when you don't feel the emotions, you still have the memories, and you still have the conviction that those memories created inside you. You just need to take the time to connect with the Lord and to remember."
Melanie sat on her bed and asked, "How do I remember, Lucy? How do you remember when it's hard and all you can think about is Black Hat? Have you ever felt like this?"
"Very often," Lucy said sadly.
"What?" Melanie asked in disbelief. "Even after you got away from Black Hat and your family."
"Yes," Lucy said. "After I ran away, I used to wake up at night, screaming and hyperventilating. I would have nightmares about being captured by Black Hat and being brainwashed to the point where I couldn't remember who I was anymore. Agnes Takea would come running and sit with me and pray over me until the fear passed and I could drift off to sleep again. I can't be by your side now, but I will be here as long as I can be. Okay?"
Tears came out of Melanie's eyes, and she said, "I betrayed you, Lucy. You might have to face Black Hat now, and it's all my fault."
"No, it isn't," Lucy chided. "I'm asking God to take that thought out of your head right now because that's not true! That doctor drugged you. You didn't have control over what you were saying. They took advantage of you. Nothing that happened was your fault. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, but how do I stop feeling afraid?" Melanie asked, wiping her tears. "When you get scared like this, how do you make yourself stop feeling like this?"
"You don't," Lucy admitted. "You never completely do, but God shows you ways to walk through it until the fear becomes small enough to walk through. Those ways include prayer, talking to people who love you, and your favorite hobbies. It doesn't matter how weird it is as long as it helps you connect to God and to yourself and brings you peace of mind."
"Like playing the piano is for me," Melanie said with a small smile. "You mentioned it being weird. Do you have any weird hobbies you do that calm you down?"
"You'll laugh," Lucy said with a quiet chuckle. "I listen to my favorite anime soundtracks while taking a walk out in nature and doing our poses while pretending I'm an anime warrior from one of the animes I grew up watching. I know it sounds unbelievably cheesy, but it really does help me."
"I don't think it's cheesy," Melanie said, finding her keyboard in a box under her bed and pulling it out on top of her bed. "You're basically a real-life anime warrior and living saint, so why not embrace it?"
"Ha! Thanks for the compliment, but despite what you and our sisters may think, I am not some immovable force of nature," Lucy said sadly. "I feel fear and sadness and anxiety like any other pilgrim in this life. Like you do now. But the biggest thing I've ever learned is that it's okay to not be okay. You can feel pain and tell me and God all about it. It's okay to cry. You have to be strong in front of your enemies in that house, but in front of the people who love you, you don't need to be afraid of feeling anything. Okay?"
"Okay, it's just that I feel like there's so much more I could be doing right now," Melanie said, setting up her keyboard.
"Melanie, you can't do anything without a clear head," Lucy said. "That's why you need to calm down. Besides, you attempting to escape again is exactly what they'll be expecting right now. You wouldn't succeed, especially not since your grandfather is there. Right now, taking care of your mind is the best thing you could be doing, and you just need to accept that. As for me and your sisters, the best thing we can do right now is work around the clock to hide our tracks and find a way to get you out of there."
"Do you guys have any plans yet?" Melanie asked, practicing some chords on the piano.
"No," Lucy said sadly. "But don't worry, Melanie. One way or another, we're going to get you out of there. I got you into this mess, Melanie, and I am going to find a way to get you out of it."
Melanie paused her chords in surprise.
"Lucy, it's not your fault," Melanie said comfortingly. "I chose to be a Nun-ja. This is the life I wanted for myself."
"I know, but I am still not going to rest until I find a way to get you out of there," Lucy said with conviction. "I promise you that. Just don't give up hope."
Melanie smiled and quietly said, "Okay. I won't. I'm going to play the piano."
"That's the spirit," Lucy said. "Put the app on speaker. I want to hear you play."
"But Lucy, what if someone hears you?" Melanie asked anxiously.
"I won't talk," Lucy said. "I will listen and hang up as soon as I hear another voice that isn't yours. I will not put you in any more danger than you're already in."
"Okay," Melanie said, putting the phone's invisible app on speaker.
Melanie flipped through piano books that her family had left her. They were chords, classical pieces, classic rock ballads, ragtime, the piano music for some musicians she liked, etc. She then picked up a book of piano covers of grunge songs and chose the piece she was working on the most recently, a piano rendition of Nirvana's "Lithium."
Melanie began playing the sad song that Lucy recognized very well.
To her surprise, Melanie even found herself singing along to the words she knew by heart, "I'm so happy cuz today I found my friends. They're in my head. I'm so ugly. That's okay cuz so are you. Broke our mirrors. Sunday morning is every day for all I care, and I'm not scared. Light my candles in a daze cuz I found God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…"
As soon as she got to the chorus, Melanie realized she was crying again.
Flug and 505 came to the door towards the song's end. By that point, tears were freely flowing out of Melanie's eyes.
505 wanted to open the door to check on Melanie, but Flug made him pause to listen.
"I like it, I'm not gonna crack!" Melanie sang. "I miss you, I'm not gonna crack! I love you, I'm not gonna crack! I killed you, I'm not gonna crack! I like it, I'm not gonna crack! I miss you, I'm not gonna crack! I love you, I'm not gonna crack! I killed you, I'm not gonna crack…"
Melanie then broke down sobbing again. She held her face in her hands, turned the phone off speaker, and put her headphones back on. She couldn't say a word. All she could do was cry.
"It's alright, Melanie," Lucy said with a sad smile behind her voice. "The tears bring healing, so you need to shed them."
Before she could respond, Melanie heard a knock on the door. She quickly ended the call and closed the app before rolling on her side and continuing to let herself fall apart.