Chapter 1

"He was transported to Tokyo General Hospital."

"He?" I heard my voice very far away. As if I were underwater.

The officer looked away sadly. He looked uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Tsukishiro. The other passenger died on impact."

"No!" I sat up suddenly. It had been a nightmare, a memory.

Police. Fear. Hospital. Despair. Funeral. Emptiness.

"Damn it, I can't even have a bit of peace in my dreams," I blurted out with tears in my eyes.

It took me a while to regain my composure. Those nightmares were the ones that made me live that fateful day again, the ones that made the hole in my chest hurt and took away my ability to breathe. I remembered the technique my therapist taught me when I first started going. It was supposed to help me return to the present, whatever that meant.

5 things I could see: my lamp, Kero, my wedding ring, my mirror, my rug.

4 things I could touch: my blanket, my shirt, the bedpost, Kero (I cheated, but it worked, right?)

3 things I could hear: My breathing and Kero's, and the faint chirping of the birds.

2 things I could smell: incense and Kero, who I think needs a bath.

1 thing you could taste: my morning breath.

I know I focused a lot on Kero but he was my only friend in the world. Well, that wasn't true. He was the only friend who didn't look at me like I was broken. Kero was a 5-year-old golden retriever I had found at the pound three years ago. I didn't know how someone could abandon him, but I also didn't understand how they could abandon me... I tried the technique again. I was treading in dangerous waters.

When I saw Kero, I knew he was what I was looking for. He was a giant dog that thought himself to be as small as a Chihuahua. Maybe in his previous life that was how it had been. Now he was a giant dog with majestic golden fur who adored me and I adored him. We gave each other company and affection.

When I felt ready to move, I fed Kero and went into the bathroom to shower. I had woken up earlier than normal, but that meant that today I would be early to work. I was a 3rd grade elementary school teacher. It was sometimes difficult work, sometimes impossible but always rewarding.

Since I wasn't in a hurry, I decided to have something more nutritious than a granola bar for breakfast. I had lost a lot of weight in the last three years, and my doctor had told me that I had to improve but I couldn't get the desire to do it. That was another reason to find a pet, feeding him reminded me that I should also eat. I prepared rice with egg and felt a certain melancholy; It was his favorite. I took a deep breath and shook my head. I had to focus on something else.

I checked my phone and noticed 57 messages in the group chat I had with my friends. I sighed. I didn't feel like reading a fucking novel, so I put my phone away to do it later. While I ate, I waited for Keto to finish his meal before taking him out. I felt bad leaving him alone for so many hours during the day, but I knew that he somehow enjoyed having the house to himself.

I said goodbye to Kero and went out to my car. When I checked the time, I was I freaked out.

"What?! I woke up early, how am I so late?" I screamed trying to get in as soon as possible.

Once inside, I felt my phone vibrate and I checked it quickly thinking it was a coworker or my friends adding my notifications. When I saw the name I froze.

Li Syaoran

I huffed.

"Leave me alone, damn it!"