Couples Retreat

Chapter 4

Authors Note: Thank you all for the positive feedback so far. Going forward this story is going to get a lot spicier so I am changing the rating. Enjoy!

Vegeta sighed. He knew this was inevitable. He knew what he had signed up for this by coming along on this vacation. He never felt this sort of uncomfortable, nervous feeling on the eve of any battles he was in but this? Was this dread? He did not know how to process these feelings. This was a new experience for the Saiyan Prince. He was about to be held accountable for his actions and not by some random person, but by someone he loved.

"I am as ready as I will ever be." Vegeta said, looking off. "Go speak, woman."

Bulma took a deep breath in and tried her best to collect herself. She had replayed this situation over and over again in her mind over the last few days. She rehearsed what she wanted to say almost daily mentally, but actually saying everything in real life was different. This was going to be very difficult. She exhaled and put her hands by her side.

"I will get straight to the point..." Bulma started. "Vegeta... what happened to you at the World Tournament? It's been months and I still can't fathom what happened. You leave with Goku and Gohan to try to find that evil wizard so you can stop him and the next time I see you, you are blowing up the World Tournament stadium!"

By now all of the emotions Bulma had bottled up began to spout as tears began welling in her eyes. She had figured this would be an emotional conversation, but she thought she was strong enough to hold back from letting this pain get the best of her. It was too late now. The floodgates had opened.

"Vegata... you killed hundreds of people... you did it right in front of me and our friends... you almost killed me!" she said bitterly. "Why? That's all I want to know..."

Vegeta remained silent, staring at the ground as he faced the consequences of his actions. Mentally, he was desperately attempting to figure out exactly how he would explain himself. Throughout his life, Vegeta tried to move on from everything, good or bad so that he could focus on the present. And the future. There was something new attached to these painful memories, something he had never felt before. Guilt. It was different killing planets of strangers; it didn't matter who got hurt. It was war. He was serving Frieza, he was simply carrying out orders. He was a warrior. Destruction of other lifeforms was his primary function. He could rationalize that. This was different, this was all his decision and his decision hurt the people he loved. He knew it was wrong, but at the time buried those thoughts deep inside himself. All that mattered then was the rivalry with Goku. This was a brand new, entirely different way to twist the knife already inside him.

"Can you even answer me?" Bulma pleaded as her voice broke, growing impatient with the silence.

"Did you even care that you could've killed me? Or our friends?" Bulma asked as tears began to stream down her face as she tried to look Vegeta in the eyes. Vegeta lifted his head up and made eye contact with his wife.

"Do you want me to be honest? No, I didn't care then." Vegeta finally answered bluntly. "I only cared about one thing and that was surpassing and defeating Kakarot, at ANY cost. I thought that was my only purpose in life, I am the Prince of the Saiyan race. An elite warrior. One of the strongest beings in the universe. How could I let some low-level scrub like Kakarot be stronger than me? As soon as he returned, I could tell how far ahead of me he was, and it made me sick!"

Bulma stared at him silently, processing his answer. She wasn't sure what she expected him to say in all the months of simulating this conversation in her mind.

"So yes, I let the wizard possess me and rekindle the darkness inside of me, the evil... that was the edge I needed to finally defeat Kakarot. The strength his spell gave me, it could help me get back to Kakarot's level. To make up for all the distractions that caused me to fall so far behind him... I thought the wicked self that had been gone was what I was missing. I tried to revel in the destruction and loss of innocent lives I caused. I believed then that I needed to cause terror and destruction among the people again, I had to serve my primary function as a Saiyan once more. And I believed that my past was my true self and I had strayed from that self, and that made me weaker over time. "

"Did you think that I made you weak? That Trunks made you weak?" Bulma asked, softly.

"Yes, Bulma. At that time, I did think that. I thought you both made me weak and were distracting me from achieving my goals. And I was ashamed of myself for allowing myself to go from a bloodthirsty warrior to settling down, to starting a family. I was ashamed of myself for loving you and Trunks. I was ashamed a killer like me, that I loved at all." Vegeta answered bluntly. "But I was wrong..."

Bulma's ears perked up. Did Vegeta just admit he was wrong? Was she hearing things?

"It was only after my final battle against Kakarot was inconclusive that I came to my senses and realized the many mistakes I made. Not just the mistakes I had made that day but the incorrect thinking I had over time... I was ready to atone for my selfishness. I thought by my own self destruction I could atone and destroy that demon Buu. I thought that I may never have an answer of who is better, me or Kakarot but I could conclude my life and right some of the horrible things I did. My destruction would serve as a penance of sorts... I had accepted that I would not come back to life, I didn't deserve to. I was ready for an eternity in Hell...This was all the inevitable end to my life."

Bulma slumped into her chair and stared off. This was so much to process and wrap her head around.

"But something happened, I did come back. And when I did, I realized I did have purpose on this planet than my Saiyan pride. I had gained many more new purposes since I have been on the Earth, everyone I had encountered. They changed me. They gave me new purpose... Trunks gave me purpose... you gave me purpose." Vegeta said looking Bulma in her eyes. "You are worth fighting for more than any of the selfish goals I've had."

"Kakarot... he helped me see the truth, even though he is a fool." Bulma could tell that with Vegeta's pride this was a difficult thing for him to admit.

"So... Bulma... I am sorry for the pain I caused you. And Trunks. I should never have taken the ones I love for granted and cast them aside for my own selfish desires. So please, tell me how I can heal the wounds I gave you."

Bulma was speechless. She didn't think she had ever heard Vegeta admit he was wrong and now he was apologizing. She began to feel lightheaded and soon put her weight into the back of her chair causing her to slowly fall back. Vegeta quickly stood up in alarm.

"I'm ok!" Bulma said, quickly getting up to her feet then adjusting her chair and sitting back down. "I'm sorry Vegeta... I'm... just at a loss for words."

"Tell me...has Trunks been having a hard time too?" Vegeta asked somberly.

"Um... no. I don't think so. At least he hasn't shown it around me. Everything that happened this year... it's a lot for a child to comprehend. I don't even know if he understands it. " She answered, recalling her son's behavior over the last few months. "Has he acted out around you?"

"No. And I have asked him after our training if he wants to discuss everything that happened. He seemed disinterested."

"I guess maybe he's moved on."

"That's because Saiyans get over such things! Onto the next battle, it's in our blood." Vegeta said with a grin. "That's my boy!"

Bulma shook her head and chuckled. This sort of pride from her husband she could handle. At least he was praising Trunks too.

"Thank you, Vegeta. That lifts a big weight off my shoulders." Bulma said, changing the subject back. "What you did at the World Tournament was very, VERY wrong and selfish, and it's going to take me some time to understand it all, even with everything you just told me. I can see you aren't the same as you were years past. It would be different if the people you murdered weren't brought back to life and if this was still hurting Trunks. But thankfully, we did bring them back and Trunks seems to be ok."

"Yes... I know... sadly there are millions more... millions more that I hurt, displaced, murdered..." Vegeta said remorsefully.

"Hey, let's on dwell on that now." Bulma said as she leaned over and rubbed Vegeta's arm. "One step at a time...you are taking accountability for the World Tournament incident, that's big!"

Vegeta didn't respond, looking off into the woods. Just touching Vegeta again felt comforting to Bulma. There had been such unaddressed tension over the months and that had led to a lack of intimacy between the two. Sure, they lived together and shared the same bed, but they were both set in different routines. It had felt like they were living in two different worlds despite living in the same home. But now, being forced to be in the location together would also force them to communicate, which would make them closer again. Bulma smirked as she wiped some tears. This was a genius plan after all!

"Ok Vegeta, now is there anything you want to ask me?" Bulma asked, stroking Vegeta's arm still. He breathed sharply.

"Yes... do you forgive me? Was my explanation sufficient?" Vegeta inquired weakly. Bulma answered by standing up and walking over to Vegeta still sitting in his lawn chair and crawling onto his lap. She stared into his eyes for a moment then planted a deep kiss on him.

"Like I said... it will take time to forgive you..." she replied softly. "I need to think about everything and understand it first...I am going to try to forgive you. Just please... give me time...I need to see that you are committed to changing, really actually changing, before I can truly forgive you. So that I can be assured nothing like this ever happens again."

Vegeta hung his head as tears began to well up in his eyes. How could he expect her to forgive him when he couldn't even forgive himself?

"I wasn't sure if you could change, but by how you acted today, by honestly explaining your side to me, by admitting you were wrong, by apologizing... you are proving to me that you really are trying to be better." Bulma said softly as she gently brushed her hand across his chest.

"...Thank you..." Vegeta said quietly. Bulma knew it was hard for him to show even a level of vulnerability like this.

"No, thank you for showing that you are capable of holding yourself accountable and showing some remorse too."

Bulma could see Vegeta was hurting, she was a bit surprised to see that he was clearly in as much pain as she was when it came to talking about these matters. Bulma was hurting too getting all of that pain out, but at the same time she felt relief getting it out. It seemed like talking was leading to some progress. There were still questions she needed answers to. but she felt enough had been discussed and she was as satisfied as she could be with Vegeta's answers. She smiled and looked over as the sun started get lower on the horizon. It was about to be sunset on Cascadia Terra. She looked over to the lake. She knew a way to temporarily ease Vegeta's shame and take his mind off everything for just a moment. Not to mention bring the two closer.

"So... Vegeta. I want to show you a fun camping tradition us Earthlings partake in... do you know what skinny dipping is?"