You're Nobunny Until Somebunny Loves You: Carrot Valley Bunny Girls
Summary:
(content warning: busty blonde bimbo breeding birthing Bunnies with Babbage engines)
Chapter Text
The "magical market hypothesis" is the pithy explanation of why your clever scheme to exploit a gap in mana costs and produce infinite free energy won't work: the 'market' will correct until you no longer profit mana out of the process. Some people phrase this as "you can't beat the market", but they are wrong. Because that's what the Bunnies do. Their entire physiology is one gigantic arcane salami-slicing scam.
The symbolic and magical energy involved in the process of creating life and imbuing it with a soul and placing it out into the world is enormous, far greater than the chemical and energy input. Bunnies, originating in what is now Carrot Valley in Talai-Gurvik, evolved into a humanoid magical form that exploits this: by stealing away some of the mana required to make a new being and make it permanent, they obtain a surplus of mana. Each Bunny will be born many times during their lifespan, retaining the same soul, memories, and identity, but taking on some attributes of each new mother or father they are born from. A while after each birth, they will 'fade', disappearing, their souls and minds going back into the queue for rebirth. All the mana that would have gone to the symbolically-expensive attribute of permanence and the creation of an entirely new soul is siphoned off into the communal energy store, known as the Eggregore. Once she hits the front of the line, reborn somewhere close to where she last faded, the "new" Bunny gets her bearings and goes back to whatever she was doing before she vanished.
Bunny culture places no value at all on general intelligence, which leads others to write them off as "idiots", or, charitably, "ditzes". They may be ditzy and bubbleheaded, they may be obliviously sexual and have no aversion to being fucked or impregnated by anyone, and they may not remember useful facts like "how to do math". They don't value general intelligence, but they DO value social intelligence, managing large networks of connected people and knowing who to go to for what skill. Write off the Bunny bimbos at your own peril: in those teeming Bunny burrows, that Bunny you laughed at is bound to know somebun who's an expert at whatever thing is going to ruin your day.
Bunny Physiology
Like all races who can use magic, Bunnies have the general quote-unquote humanoid shape of Elves, with a few leftover accoutrements of their evolutionary forebears: two long ears coming from the top of the head, a poofy cottonball tail at the base of the spine, and legs that just don't quit. In that they can kick your head off your shoulders. They have skin tones varying between "milk chocolate" and "peachy keen", and blonde to silver hair. And, of course, a propensity for breeding.
Bunnies breed constantly, with everyone; there's a good chance of any given Bunny you meet being pregnant at any given time. Their primary sexual interest is to experience pregnancy and birth as sexually pleasurable, but they still think "normal" sex to get pregnant is a really fun activity to do with pals or a good way to meet people. With pregnancy pleasurable and desirable as an end unto itself, and no long-term risk from STDs, Bunnies almost never turn down sex, even when it comes as a complete surprise. You might think that, since they enjoy pregnancy so much, they would fastidiously maintain 100% pregnancy uptime, but you know, that's a lot of work, and it's a lot to keep track of, and really it's just better to let it happen than to stress out about it.
Though Bunnies age – most of them live to 50 objective years old but more on that later – they do so in discrete chunks when rebirthed, not continuously over time. Early in a Bunny's life, these segments of life between births are shorter, and they grow longer as their lifespan goes on. There is no hard and fast rule for when they occur: it seems to be based not just on time elapsed, but things experienced, and a Bunny who learns or sees a lot of new things is likely to have a shorter time before her next fade and rebirth "locks it in". A Bunny who dies of unnatural causes is sent back into the rebirth queue just as if she had faded; however, she forgets anything she learned or experienced since her last rebirth. Something to be avoided, to be sure, but not as bad as what happens to everyone else.
The first few times a Bunny is born, it's in the form of a colorful, brightly-patterned egg from which nothing hatches. Bunnies guess this is the Bunny-to-be "learning" the basics like object permanence and language and that kinda stuff – the first time a Bunny comes out in recognizable humanoid form, it's the equivalent of another species's child being eight to ten years old. Which is probably a good thing, given that Bunnies would not be good mothers to helpless infants. Space inside a Bunny is compressed when gestating another Bunny, so she doesn't know if her baby-belly will put out a little painted egg or a full-size adult Bunny her size. Since different ages of Bunny have different gestation periods, the onset of labor is usually a surprise, though a pleasant one.
All Bunnies are born female, but Bunnies with a great many experiences, parents, and partners will develop into futanari. They are very popular and respected back in the warren where there's fewer outside visitors to breed with, and can go out into the world in places where there aren't many other Bunnies and keep themselves around by keeping ladies knocked up for when they fade.
Bunny Magic
Magic is core to a Bunny's being. Most obviously, their physiology and reproduction exist to scam magic energy out of the universe and siphon it to the Eggregore. Even though they aren't skilled at deliberate magic (their innate magic messes with it but also it's really hard!) they have innate magic that makes them "lucky", consisting of many really specific spells to influence outcomes in their favor. The wider diversity of people who "father" them and the more different stuff they've done, the more different spells they have available and thus the luckier they are. A Bunny's luck is something she takes great pride in! Touching their fluffy tails is said to give a portion of their good luck, and it tickles in a fun way, so go ahead!
Even if breeding didn't feel so good, they'd want to do it anyway as common courtesy to the other Bunnies who have faded out, sent the symbolic energy of permanence back to the Eggregore, and are waiting in line to be rebirthed. But allowing fellow Bunnies back in the world is just one benefit: though each Bunny maintains the same soul, memories, and identity over each fade and rebirth, they take on minor qualities of their 'parents' each time they are reborn, and a Bunny with more parents is healthier, stronger, and smarter… relatively speaking, anyway. Bunnies, without anyone to impregnate them, are capable of inducing parthenogenesis by lesbian sex with each other; lone Bunnies can induce parthenogenesis by masturbation, but anyone birthed as a result of this doesn't last as long before fading again and doesn't get the benefits of multiple parentage. Bunnies don't fault each other for doing this, even if it is a slight disadvantage to the Bunny being born; you gotta do what you gotta do.
Bunny Society
People may want to call Bunnies "stupid", but this is mean, and inaccurate. The preferred term is "ditzy", or "spacey", or "bubbleheaded". A Bunny is not necessarily an idiot, but she is a bimbo. She's not really paying attention to most things, and takes some prompting to remember that she might have some useful or relevant information. Bunnies, as a culture, just don't place any value on having general intelligence, or being perceptive.
But they have incredible social intelligence, and ability to keep track of and relate to people. Due to the pseudorandom nature of what Bunnies are assigned to what births, they don't have a traditional familial structure or keep track of lineages; nobody really knows who is descended from whom, there is no formal hierarchy of any kind, but the Bunnies all know each other's names, personalities, and quirks and don't understand why everyone else has such a hard time keeping track! Bunnies don't sweat doing a lot of thinking about numbers or math or stuff they think is "boring" or "lame", but when there is an intellectual task they enjoy, they throw themselves into it with zeal. Given that warrens have hundreds or thousands of Bunnies, odds are, there's a Bunny in a given warren who just LOVES doing whatever particular task they need, and spends most of her free time on it. And every other Bunny in the warren knows who to go to for it.
In this way, Bunny society can be called "specialized", though that isn't quite accurate, as not everyone has a specialty. Many Bunnies find something that they think is super cool, but many of them don't. And some of the ones that do, their interest just isn't useful in any way. Bunnies don't really care, and since nearly all of them are feeding the Eggregore with mana anyway, they don't feel a need to pressure anyone to contribute. There is no provision in their society for "disabled" Bunnies because they simply do not have a concept of disability as being different from the norm. Almost everyone is terrible at almost everything, so why make a special new category for Bunnies who can't do things? So what if you can't walk, or see, that just means the list of things you are bad at is very slightly longer than everyone else's, and keeping track of a percentage difference that small is a lot of work and sounds really boring, so let's just forget that whole category thing.
Bunnies don't really have any formal or structured government. When asked to produce a leader, Bunnies will go get whoever from her local burrow is best at dealing with the issue currently at hand. Decisions are made by whoever makes the decision, with shaming and vicious gossip and "Not cool, Debbie. Not cool." being the threats to keep Bunnies from making decisions that harm the burrow or the warren. Bunny priestesses exist, but don't exert much power over other Bunnies, because their Goddess (more on her later) isn't usually bossing them around.
To stave off invasion, Bunnies mostly rely on the fact that their burrows are dense and hard to occupy, and that their militia will all come back even if they are slaughtered to the last bun. Outside of dedicated "gun Bunnies" who like fighting, their military prowess is mostly hoping for their collective luck to stop things from getting too bad. Luckily, they have discovered that lots of Bunny breeding with Dark Elves gives them just the luck they need to ward off outside threats! When it looks like someone is going to be a threat to a warren that's linked to a Dark Elf city, something inexplicably terrible always seems to happen to them, and the problem is solved. Hooray for Bunny luck!
The Bunny Journey
For a subterranean species, Bunnies are often seen out and about in the world. It's tradition to spend a great portion of one's life, from the teens out to the thirties or early forties, out abroad on what is known as "vaycay". Seeing what the world has to offer, increasing the chance you'll stumble on something you think is neat, collecting interesting stories to tell back in the warren, and getting impregnated by a large and genetically diverse population – such journeys are usually done in groups, so that when one Bunny fades, she has a nearby Bunny to be born from to get back to her business quickly, but even a lone Bunny knows where other unassociated Bunnies can be found and keeps in touch with them. Some Bunnies find something they love that can't be done in the warren, and stay out in the world (oddly enough, the most common reason for this is discovering a passion for practicing law), but they stay in touch with the warren and with the latest group of Bunnies out on vaycay. While out on vaycay, Bunnies usually need to find some occupation to pay their rent and bills, and while being strippers is an obvious choice, they are actually more popular as secretaries and administrative assistants; their ability to keep track of lots of people is quite valuable in that position. Few people complain about their figure or semi-oblivious sexuality.
Once your vaycay is over and your body has fully developed into a thicc and fertile shape, assuming you want to come back to the warren (and most do), then it's time to settle back down at home. Warrens are networks of major Bunny settlement, with each individual underground chamber being a burrow; each burrow is populated by mature older Bunnies and young new Bunnies learning the facts of life from them, where they will learn Bunny traditions, luck, makeup tips, good spots for vaycay, and interesting stories. Mature Bunnies pass the time by spending time with the kids, breeding like crazy, chit-chatting about their adventures, watching imported TV shows, playing games, just chilling out, you know?
The Bunny Warren
While power siphoned from the Eggregore helps all Bunnies, notably in giving them the energy they would get from a healthy, well-balanced diet (which they don't have), the Eggregore energy's effects on the warren itself are most notable. The patterned, pastel, eggy matrix of mana compresses time and space around itself, with effects becoming more pronounced with proximity. As Bunnies get older, they move deeper into the warren, and the Eggregore's compression makes the burrows larger, fitting more Bunnies, and time flows more slowly, giving Bunnies more time to interact with the larger group. At the core of the warren is the Eggregore's chamber itself, which usually appears to be a vast sunny meadow or beach or some other area suitable for lazing about and chit-chatting, and it is here where the oldest and 'wisest' Bunnies are found, sometimes practicing their art, most of the time not doing much more than hanging out. Though a Bunny usually lives to be around 50 before the final fade, experiencing compressed time doesn't hasten this process – it's 50 outside world years, not 50 subjective ones, and by their own reckoning they can live nearly as long as some Elves. Of course, not much happens in those long lifespans, but hey, who said it had to? A denizen of the Eggregore core who needs to go to the surface for a day or so may come back to find many years have passed for her friends, but she still hasn't missed much – not more than she could be caught up on in a few minutes. Just a lot of hanging out, napping, games, and casual sex. Bunnies aren't into the drama, you know?
The Eggregore isn't infinite, and space in the warren can run out. Also sometimes it gathers too much mana and starts making like this weird sputter noise, you know, like a phht-phht-phht-bwooooooo. When that starts to happen, it's time to expand a new warren. A big chunk of the Eggregore is separated off, and an expedition of Bunnies carries the new chunk out into the world to find a new place to dig a new warren. It begins as a weak egg with no patterns on it or anything and just sits in a hole, but it will naturally expand its chambers, compress space and time, and develop neat patterns as it gathers more energy. It grows into another full-fledged Bunny warren as its carriers create descendants to feed it and populate it.
Bunny Culture
Bunnies may be bimbos who mostly hang out, play around, and have casual sex, but there are some notable contributions to global culture that they've made. As hinted at before, "a carrot" is about the healthiest thing they eat (they love them carrots!), mostly consuming sweets, fruits, ice cream, and chocolate. Mmmm, chocolate. Like almost every culture in the world, one of the first things they did with agriculture was ferment alcohol. Bunnies hate being drunk but love being tipsy, so they've developed an entire art of 'mixology': lightly-alcoholic sweet drinks mixed in different proportions for interesting mixed-up cocktails that will get you sauced but not hammered. Their popularity has been steadily growing worldwide, cocktails are a lot more varied and fun than slamming down hard liquor. Bunnies are universally accepted to be the best mixologists in the world, leading to their popularity as waitresses and bartenders, and other lands emulating their appearance for their own classy servants.
Bunnies may not have families in the traditional sense, but they do have a nice wholesome family game to get together and play with the little'uns: roulette! The roulette wheel is a Bunny invention and its use is a traditional game for them. This makes more sense than you might think, because for a Bunny, luck is a tangible aspect of her being she can exert and take pride in, so it's a great way to teach kids how luck works. You can play it while focusing most of your attention on talking to each other, but also if you want to you can think really hard about winning and make a strategy about where to put your bets so that when you get lucky it denies the most value to your opponents. Other races have of course adopted roulette as a gambling game, and croupiers dress as bunnies, but sadly the televised "World Series of Roulette" wasn't very interesting to other races, not even the Dark Elves who sponsored it, because they couldn't understand the skills at play. Dice are more easy to travel with and craps is the game for bunnies on the go, but everyone has fond memories of sitting at their burrow's green fuzzy roulette table with their elders, getting cookie crumbs on the outside bets, hearing stories, learning all sorts of neat stuff, feeling like winners.
Along with selling excess mana, Bunnies can also lease out space in the Eggregore chamber to outsiders who need extra time for things, Mechanical Turing machines aren't messed up by the time and space compression the way even hardy vacuum-tube computers are, so nowadays every Eggregore chamber has a few banks of Babbage engines constantly computing figures. Even counting the time it takes to repair them after errant volleyball hits damage them, they still can crunch numbers faster than larger electric computers, meaning their computing time can be sold at a high price. Good for the Bunnies, as all that candy and ice cream isn't free!
Members of other races, though, weren't really designed to occupy the Eggregore's compressed space for too long. It doesn't really hurt them, but anyone who stays in the warren too long starts to become bunnylike: ditzy, VERY easily distractible, giggly, shameless, horny, and blonde. If you're going to be in a warren for a long time -- Dark Elf ambassadors most commonly are in that kind of position -- you should be aware of this bimbofication and plan accordingly. It's a good idea to get in the habit of keeping a daily planner and a journal to remember what's going on and what you're doing. Since time is compressed and bimbos feel good about most everything, time in a Bunny warren is becoming a popular choice for very busy people's vacations, where they can cram weeks worth of not doing anything but giggling and fucking into a single day. Some say that Bunnies can carry this bimbofying effect outside with them, but if they do, they have no idea how.
Bunnies may not be very good at deliberate magic, but perhaps most notably they are one of the few species and/or cultures of the world capable of performing true divine magic, wherein they ask for intercession of a deity to perform a miracle. The Bunnies know their Goddess is real: her name is Cyndi, with the I dotted with a heart. They know that Cyndi created them, needs them to generate energy for the Eggregore so she can use it to do god stuff in her god realm, and that she thinks they are doing a super great job and she loves them lots. They know this because Cyndi communicates with them some times: Bunnies, usually priestesses, sometimes lay eggs that are made of hollow plastic and contain messages from their Goddess, written in glittery purple gel pen, that say things like
Wanted to let u gals know u are doing a super great job with all the mana! Love u lots!!!
XOXOXO, Cyndi.
PS. If there's any goddess stuff I can do for u, lemme know! :-)
Though adherents of other faiths that don't get miracles have all sorts of excuses why Cyndi isn't REALLY divine, she is just some sort of trans-dimensional bimbo being who has limited powers but is not worthy of worship, the fact remains that writing a request for a favor on the back of one of her messages, resealing it in the egg, and placing it back inside a Bunny will usually result in the request being granted by divine, sparkly pastel power. While a few letters and eggs are kept around in case of "like a really super bad emergency", most of them end up being used to ask for sweets, party supplies, or other luxuries. Cyndi is happy to oblige her gals.
"Like, we're totally sorry," the Bunny secretary said in between chewing her pen cap. "But like, the doctor had a big emergency and now she's running SUPER far behind. It's maybe like an hour?" She pushed aside the insurance paperwork, then sat, spread-legged, on the desk. "While you wait, wanna fuck?"
Without undergarments, her blonde-tufted pussy was just barely visible in the shadow of her pencil skirt, and she dragged her pen up her pantyhose-clad thigh. "I haven't been creampied in, like, FOREVER. I'm totally horny." She rubbed the pen against her pussy lips and cooed. "You want first dibs?"
"Aww, you guys!" the Bunny said, "you totally shouldn't have! This is so nice of you!" She looked at the faded roulette table with glee.
"Well," they said, "it's not much, but you deserve it."
"Yaaayy!" the Bunny said with a little clap. "Do you guys play? C'mere, it's super fun!"
The Bunny bent down over the table to pick up the stacks of chips. But her skirt was too short, ass too wide, and her snatch too tempting. Her colleague's cock was immediately stuffed into her.
"Oh my!" she said in surprise. "Looks like someone's a winner already!"
The taut, cocoa-colored flesh of the Bunny's pregnant belly glistened with sweat, heaved with each of her ragged breaths. "OhCyndiOhCyndiOhCyndi," she moaned as her child's head crowned, stretched the pussy lips she was so desperately fingering. Every contraction sent a shockwave of pleasure that crashed outwards to the tips of her ears and swept back through her. "OhCyndiOhCyndiOhOhOHHHHHHHHHHH…"
With each blissfully wracking PUSH, she brought her child further and further into the world. At last, exhausted, sated, shaking, relishing the afterglow, she looked upon her newborn daughter.
"Stacy? Hff, nnnggg… Hey, Stacy! What have, hff, have you been up to?
Bunny Characters
Bunny names are stereotypical "Valley girl" or "bimbo" or "stripper" names. They have no surnames because of the silly way their lineage works, and don't need them either. You can be in a burrow with nine different Crystals, and if you say "Hey, Crystal!" only the one you wanted will respond.
But sometimes they have to write things down, and members of other races might not be able to tell them apart, so they take appellations that describe themselves: "The Strawberry Blonde Crystal," "The Crystal With The Neat Hat," "The Floppy-Eared Crystal," and etc. Yes, they are named like Friends episodes.
Bunnies have the perfect built-in reason to go out on adventures: she's on vaycay, she wants to see the world and meet new people and do cool stuff! Keeping a bunny around is a good idea for teams that do dangerous exploration: a super lucky girl with you will put a limit on what kind of bad things can happen to the group. But Bunnies are also prized for servant and assistant roles, and they often serve as the grease that keeps a group moving smoothly. They know people's quirks and needs, and let's face it, they are fun to be around.
Bunnies often bounce around their lives with no greater plan, just seeing what happens to them, down for whatever. But not always! A Bunny can be as ambitious, or as intelligent, as any member of any other race. They just don't think those things are required or relevant to your worth as a person. A genius polymath Bunny won't look down on anyone who is less intelligent than her, because it simply doesn't make sense to her value system. (But Bunnies who are kind of jerkish may look down on people who are less lucky!) And no matter how smart she is, she's still kind of ditzy and spacey.
And an important thing to point out is that even for a race that tends to be on the less intelligent side, the thing that unites Bunnies and drives the tradition of vaycay is that Bunnies love to learn. They don't need to be learning anything complicated or particularly important. It can just be meeting new people and seeing new places and having new exciting sex and eating tasty foreign food. But they want to experience neat stuff they can tell others about, and dish about what other Bunnies saw. In the depths of the warren, you might see two Bunnies chatting, and one is talking about court intrigue in the ancient history of Altia, and one is talking about celebrity gossip she heard about Sofia Thucydikos's awful botched hairstyle, and both those things are just as good.