Hey hey! Thanks for popping in again and reading. There's a portion of this chapter taken directly (mostly) from OOTP you know what it is, and you know I didn't write it. Feel free to review with critiques, questions, or support! It feels really good to know people are actually interested, but it feels equally good to have people tell me how I can improve. Hope you enjoy - bea. (pronounced like bee, short for Beatrice)
Tomorrow afternoon, it turns out, meant much later than Remus had initially anticipated. He spent the morning with Lily and James and Sirius periodically eyeing the door, waiting for the young witch to walk in at any moment.
"We really get to see him tonight." Lily said, while fixing up sandwiches for the four of them, with Remus's help. Sirius and James had gone up to check all the rooms one more time while the Weasley's brought the rest of their essentials from the burrow.
Remus nodded, smiling, realizing how much he had missed the old times, and even though a great deal felt different in that moment, it was close enough to the past to bask in it.
"I missed you guys so much, little flower." He said to the woman next to him, getting an unexpected hug in return.
"Me too, Remus. But we're here now. And we can finally keep living." She said, setting two plates aside for the men upstairs. "Anyway, are you sure you're up to going out tonight with the full moon so close?" She asked, looking at him in the special way she always did.
"I can't imagine not being there tonight, Lil. Especially being that of the four of us I'm the only one currently allowed out of the house. I have to go." She nodded her agreement, and they sat down with the plates in front of them.
Remus was just about to take a bite when he heard a loud crash from the hallway followed by a shout from Tonks. Much to his surprise the portrait did not start screaming. Lily simply laughed knowingly, having already seen the clumsy side of Tonks that was always present.
The usually pink haired woman entered the kitchen pale cheeks blazing red, hair a distinct shade of purple Remus had yet to see.
"Quite the entrance." He said to her, smiling as she blushed even deeper. He pushed the chair to his side out with his foot and motioned for her to take a seat. She collapsed with a huff, shaking her head.
"How was work?" Lily asked, pulling her sandwich in half and handing the extra piece to Tonks who took it with a thankful smile.
"Paper-worky." She answered, taking a bite, and smiling even larger if that was even possible. "Everyday it seems like there's more garbage to work through. Dark- arts leads that seem like decoys from real issues. All because the minister is a bimbo who won't believe that you-know-who is really back." She shook her head in frustration and looked to Remus.
"Oh right. I didn't ask you a security question…" She said, trying to think of something.
"Don't worry, Nympha-" She shot him a look.
"Yeah okay. It's you." He saw the smirk playing at her lips despite the frustration he caused her. Security questions were becoming more common as everyone in the order grew a little bit more on edge. That and Tonks had taken to asking Mad-eye one every time she saw him out of fear of past situations coming back to haunt her.
The front door opened again and Tonks stood with a jump, her wand ready. Much to her surprise and disappointed James Potter walked in, not Moody. Remus laughed at her face again.
"Sorry to disappoint there Tonks, I was just throwing some garbage outside." He said standing behind Lily and rubbing her arms. Sirius entered the kitchen just moments later, shaking out his too long hair.
"The house is officially dark arts clean." He said, although they all knew there was still a great deal more to be done, it was as good as it's getting,
"There's lunch for you two on the counter." Lily waved her wand and the two sandwiches floated over as the men fell into their seats. Sirius bit into it with a contented sigh.
"I missed sandwiches from Lily so much." He said wistfully. James smiled but it almost seemed tight. Remus knew he was thinking about how hard things must have been for Sirius. Remus had been trying not to think about the difficulties their friend faced when the whole time Dumbledore had known the truth.
The front door was tossed open again and within seconds Mad-eye Moody was standing in the kitchen, Tonks not nearly as prepared as she had been the last time he entered.
"You're getting soft." He called to her, taking aim at her chest.
"Not soft, just tired." SHe said, her wand also aimed at him. "And- what was the reason you told me as to why you had to mentor me. The fake reason?" She asked half-heartedly, because she already knew it was him.
"You're skill as a klutz." Moody said with an unfamiliar chuckle. Remus enjoyed watching their interactions a great deal, because they always caught him off guard a bit more every time. No one besides Dora seemed able to get those more soft sides of Moody.
"Everyone's arriving in an hour. We take off fifteen minutes after that." Mad-eye said, getting right down to business. Remus nodded excitedly, watching as Moody left the kitchen and clomped up the stairs. Tonks shrugged and rolled her eyes as he went, as Sirius began to tell stories of the first war, while they all pretended not to dread what was coming.
Exactly one hour and forty three minutes later the group touched down in front of number four privet drive. Tonks smiled up at the house as the front guard slipped in the front door and sneaked their way upstairs.
It wasn't until Tonks broke a plate that Remus heard Harry's nervous, heavy breathing from the room he now had. The group was not doing their best to be quiet and Remus could imagine how that would terrify the poor boy who was up for expulsion.
They reached the bottom of the hallway with Harry atop the stairs, his wand pointed at them.
"Lower your wand, boy, before you take somebodies eye out!" Moody growled good naturedly, yet one hundred percent serious from his position. Remus heard Tonks chuckle at his side.
"'Professor Moody?' Harry asked uncertainly.
"I don't know so much about "Professor",' growled the voice, 'never got round to much
teaching, did I? Get down here, we want to see you properly.'
Harry lowered his wand slightly but did not relax his grip on it, nor did he move. He had very good reason to be suspicious. He had recently spent nine months in what he had thought was Mad-Eye Moody's company only to find out that it wasn't Moody at all, but an impostor; an impostor, moreover, who tried to kill him. Remus reasoned in his head before knowing Harry would like to see him.
"t's all right, Harry. We've come to take you away." Remus said up to Harry, hearing the boys breath catch in what he hoped to be excitement.
"P-Professor Lupin?' he said disbelievingly. 'Is that you?" Harry stuttered in response. Remus imagined Nymphadora smiling next to him at the title of professor.
"Why are we all standing in the dark?" She suddenly asked illuminating the hall quickly. Harry took in the group with wide eyes.
People took their turns commenting on Harry's appearance, which Remus knew he hated and much hoped someone would move forward with the plan.
"Are you quite sure it's him, Lupin?" Moody suddenly growled. 'It'd be a nice lookout if we bring back some Death Eater impersonating him. We ought to ask him something only the real Potter would know. Unless anyone brought any Veritaserum?'
"Harry, what form does your Patronus take?' Remus asked trying not to shake his head at Mad-eye's antics.
"A stag." said Harry nervously.
"That's him, Mad-Eye," Remus affirmed quickly, catching the eye roll from the woman to his side.
Very conscious of everybody still staring at him, Harry descended the stairs, stowing his wand in the back pocket of his jeans as he came.
"Don't put your wand there, boy!" roared Moody. "What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!"
"Who d'you know who's lost a buttock?" the violet-haired witch asked Mad-Eye, getting a smug look from Remus at the sass dripping from her tone.
'Never you mind, you just keep your wand out of your back pocket!' growled Mad-Eye. 'Elementary wand-safety, nobody bothers about it any more.' He stumped off towards the kitchen. 'And I saw that,' he added irritably, as the woman rolled her eyes towards the ceiling, getting a nudge to the side from Remus, who did not feel like dealing with an angry Moody on the ride back.
The introductions went forth without a hitch, minus Tonk's mild display of anger with the introduction of her first name. But Remus firmly believed she secretly liked it when he called her that.
Mad-Eye, vigilant as ever refused to give Harry any answers, which was probably for the best being that there was no good way to tell him his parents were actually alive; a thought that still gave Remus chills of confused joy.
Remus's thoughts were pulled from his joy of his currently living best friends as Alastor's magical eye became stuck, focused on the ceiling.
"Damn it," he muttered angrily, putting a hand up to the magical eye, "it keeps getting stuck-ever since that scum wore it-"
And with a nasty squelching sound much like a plunger being pulled from a sink, he popped out his eye.
"Mad-Eye, you do know that's disgusting, don't you?" said Tonks conversationally, taking advantage of being one of the only wizards in the world who could call Mad-Eye Moody out for something. True to character, he ignored her.
"Get me a glass of water, would you, Harry." requested Moody. Harry crossed to the dishwasher, took out a clean glass and filled it with water at the sink, trying to ignore the stares from the more obvious members of the Order.
"Cheers," said Moody, when Harry handed him the glass. He dropped the magical eyeball into the water and prodded it up and down; the eye whizzed around, staring at them all in turn. "I want three hundred and sixty degrees visibility on the return journey." Moody said in explanation, ignoring the look of disgust Tonks handed to the glass.
"How're we getting-wherever we're going?" Harry asked.
"Brooms,' said Remus. "Only way. You're too young to Apparate, they'll be watching the Floo Network and it's more than our life's worth to set up an unauthorised Portkey." He chuckles to himself at his joke, watching as Tonks rolled her eyes again at him, good naturedly of course.
"Remus says you're a good flier." said Kingsley, his deep voice a contrast a Remus's softer one.
"He's excellent,' said Remus, checking his watch. "Anyway, you'd better go and get packed, Harry, we want to be ready to go when the signal comes."
"I'll come and help you." said Tonks brightly, following him up the stairs with a bounce. Remus knew she wanted to get on Harry's good side, but not for the reasons of his fame. She wanted him to feel comfortable around her, because she knew what it felt like to be different.
A few minutes later Tonks was levitating Harry's trunk down the stairs, ready to go.
"Excellent," said Remus, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. "We've got about a minute, I think. We should probably get out into the garden so we're ready. Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry-"
'They won't,' said Harry. Remus ignored him and tried to continue
"-that you're safe-"
"That'll just depress them."
"-and you'll see them next summer."
"Do I have to?"
Lupin smiled but made no answer, he had hopes the answer would actually be no.
"Come here, boy," said Moody gruffly, beckoning Harry towards him with his wand. "I need to Disillusion you."
"You need to what?" said Harry nervously.
"Disillusionment Charm," said Moody, raising his wand, giving no actual explanation to what he was doing. "Lupin says you've got an Invisibility Cloak, but it won't stay on while we're flying; this'll disguise you better. Here you go-" And he performed the charm on a very scared looking Harry.
They all stepped outside at Remus's suggestion, waiting for the signal.
"Clear night," grunted Moody, his magical eye scanning the heavens. "Could've done with a bit more cloud cover. Right, you," he barked at Harry, clearly forgetting Remus's other suggestion to not scare him. "we're going to be flying in close formation. Tonks'll be right in front of you, keep close on her tail. Lupin'll be covering you from below. I'm going to be behind you. The rest'll be circling us. We don't break ranks for anything, got me? If one of us is killed-"
"Is that likely?" Harry asked apprehensively, but Moody ignored him, Remus felt himself sigh.
"-the others keep flying, don't stop, don't break ranks. If they take out all of us and you survive, Harry, the rear guard are standing by to take over; keep flying east and they'll join you."
"Stop being so cheerful, Mad-Eye, he'll think we're not taking this seriously," said Tonks, as she strapped Harry's trunk and Hedwig's cage into a harness hanging from her broom. Harry cast her a thankful, fearful, and clearly uncertain glance.
"I'm just telling the boy the plan"' growled Moody. "Our job's to deliver him safely to Headquarters and if we die in the attempt-"
"No one's going to die," said Kingsley Shacklebolt in his deep, calming voice.
"Mount your brooms, that's the first signal!" Remus called sharply, pointing into the sky, thankful for a reason to shut Moody up.
Far, far above them, a shower of bright red sparks had flared among the stars. Everyone mounted their brooms.
"Second signal, let's go!" said Lupin loudly as more sparks, green this time, exploded high above them. And they were off.
The flight back was utterly freezing, but not unmanageable. It was entering the house that Remus was most nervous for.
They were late for the meeting. So Molly, acting as if there was nothing out of the ordinary ushered Harry up the stairs to Ron and Hermione. Remus tried not to think how Harry would take it when he found out Ron and Hermione knew about his parents being here days before he did.
"They'll find a way to tell him Remus." Tonks said, as she stumbled over a loose floorboard and into the kitchen with a cautious look back over her shoulder.
The meeting felt like it was going on for ages, James and Lily felt the same way, their eyes shooting up to the ceiling, where Harry's room was, every couple of seconds.
Finally Dumbledore adjourned them, and Molly walked out to get the kids. Remus, Tonks, and Mad-eye waited for them in the hall, having a plan of distraction to get Harry in the kitchen after everyone else.
The umbrella stand had a different idea.
"Remus do you think that-" She didn't get to finish the sentence as she went flying, crashing to the floor with a thump that seemed far to hefty for someone her size. The kids rushed down the stairs to see the drama ensue as the portrait of Walburga Black started screaming.
Sirius rushed out of the kitchen, James and Lily chasing after him without thought. Tonks rolled out of the way as they three of them ran towards her. From the ground she looked up at Remus, eyes wide.
This should be fun. He glanced at Harry, who was looking at the three adults wrestling the picture, his eyes a mixture of angry and utterly confused.
The curtains were shut and silence filled the room.
"Harry. There are some things you need to know." Remus began, speaking slowly and walking toward the boy, whose eyes were trained on the two people he knew to be his parents.
"Miss Tonks, you do always have a way to make the situation a bit more interesting." Dumbledore walked through the swinging door from the kitchen and into the hall. "Pardon me Lily, James." He slipped by them taking a step toward Harry, who jerked back instinctively. His eyes stayed trained on Remus. He looked scared.
"P-professor. What's happening?" He asked nervously. It dawned on Remus that he may have thought it was the ghost of his parents, who were both crying, and not moving, he also didn't miss the fact that he was the first person Harry addressed.
"Vitarme Kedavra." Remus began, walking toward Harry, and sitting on the step, ushering the boy to sit beside him. "What do you know about it?" Harry looked over to Hermione who had a small smile on her lips.
"C'mon Harry." She urged with a smile. "Think of-" She stopped suddenly her eyes growing wide at all the adults listening to her conversation. "Think about…. Third year substitute library… books…" She said nervously. Recognition dawned in Harry's eyes and he nodded. He then shook his head. Tonks chuckled at the realization that they were sneaking around reading books they shouldn't have been, before sombering with the moment.
"Hermione, I don't remember anything about- wait." He cut himself off looking at Remus. "Vitarme, like... love and life or something? Wandless magic. Right?" Remus nodded, and waited for him to keep going. "That's all I know about it." He said in defeat, decidedly not looking at his parents as Remus patted his shoulder.
"This is going to be a lot to take in." He warned Harry, before ushering James and Lily over to them. Harry didn't move toward them, but thankfully didn't shy away, keeping his eyes on his shoes.
Tonks watched Remus interact with Harry, a smile on her lips. She tried to shake away thoughts of her feelings for Remus. But times like this made it so much harder. Remus explained the spell to Harry, what really happened the night he got the scar. How they survived this long, why no one was able to tell Harry. How things had been going since they'd gotten here, and what was going to change from the future on out. Harry stayed quiet throughout the entire explanation, finally looking up at his parents when Remus was done.
"So… you're alive?" He asked, his eyes pinched just a bit. Lily nodded cautiously. Harry stood, and Tonks tensed thinking he was going to run, or punch someone.
He threw himself into his father's arms. Tonks felt her own eyes sting, but she pushed back the tears watching as everyone in the room cracked with the emotion of the moment. Remus slipped by the reunion and entered the kitchen. With one glance back to everyone with the Potter's, Tonks followed him quickly.
"Remus?" She called when she walked through the door. She found him, sitting in a bar stool seat, his head in his hands. "Remus!" She rushed over to him. "Are you alright?" She saw his shoulders shaking, and quickly realized he was crying. Instinctively she threw her arms over his shoulder and pulled him into her, very confused.
He lifted his head after a minute. "I spent years, years longing for the day Harry would get to see his parents, Tonks." He rubbed at his eyes quickly, shaking his head with a smile. She realized he was crying with joy. "That was everything I dreamed of but told myself was impossible." She grabbed his hands in hers and squeezed them.
"That was amazing." He said again. His head still shaking. "Everyone needs joy in times like these… and that was everything we all needed." She nodded in agreement, standing as the rest of the group entered the kitchen, Harry, Ron and Hermione filling James and Lily in on the last fourteen years of life.
Remus tried to rub at his face once more before smiling at the scene in front of him. Sirius walked over, setting his hand on Remus's shoulder.
"Can you believe it Moony? It feels like everything is finally coming together. Even with the war." He said, his own eyes shining along with his friends.
Tonks stood to the back and watched the joyous scene play out in front of her. It was times like this that she was thankful for all the people in her life. Specifically the people in this room who would do anything for eachother.
She watched as Remus and Sirius spoke together, laughing about something Padfoot had said. Molly set the food out on the long table and everyone quickly filed into their seats.
"Okay, tell us about these dementors." James said, and soup was ladled into bowls and passed around with warm bread.
Harry went on a passionate story of how the dementors found him and why he used the patronus even though he knew it was wrong. Remus saw the fear on Harry's face as he went through everything, but even the anxiety in the boy's eyes relaxed as he looked to his parents.
"There's safety's for using magic in self defense Harry, they ministry will hear you out." Tonks said from across the table, twirling a strand of hair in her fingers.
The rest of the night continued in the fashion of joyful reunion and laughter about old stories that could finally be told without the pang of loss that usually accompanied them. Remus watched Tonks smile with the people he considered his family, and for the first time ever felt whole.
Months passed, and the kids slowly went back to school without much of a fuss. Molly moved back to the burrow, because she understood Sirius would have enough company with James, Lily and occasionally Remus and Tonks staying in the house.
Mid way through October, Tonks arrived late to a meeting, limping into the kitchen as quietly as she could. Remus raised a single eyebrow at her but got only a shake of her head in response. He couldn't ignore the black bags sitting under her eyes, or the way her pink hair was seemed to be a little less bright every time he saw her. Throughout the course of the summer through September Remus and Tonks had many a conversation about the possibility (or lack thereof) of their future together. Tonks wanted to be with him, she had made that much clear. But he knew he would be wronging her by being with her, even if it was what he'd wanted as well.
Every Time they spoke she grew more and more hysterical about it, and he felt more and more guilty. He knew she wasn't sleeping, because Sirius made sure to mention it any time she came up. He knew it was his fault and that she couldn't help the way she felt for him. But he knew that he couldn't give in because one day she would resent him for it. There was no way she'd actually want to be with someone like him.
Snape was drolling on about some new plan that he had overhear that would likely be just as useless as the last ones. Remus tried to be respectful but he was losing the ability to focus on anything but the woman across from him.
He thought back to their last argument, the thing he thought of every time he'd seen her since.
He was sitting at the table of grimmauld Place waiting for Sirius to come down from looking for a chess board in the attic. James and Lily had made some polyjuice potion from some muggles, and were roaming through diagon alley as apparently they had frequently done while in hiding.
Tonks pushed open the door to the kitchen, falling into the chair with a huff.
"Are you alright?" He asked her, trying to keep the smile from his voice at the sight of her. He knew he had feelings for her, and she knew too, but he was trying his best to pretend.
"I'm fine Remus." She said tersely, as she had taken to anytime he asked about her feelings since he had previously denied her attempts for them to be more than friends. He knew he led her on by accidentally kissing her, but he had hoped it wouldn't still be on her mind.
"Nymp- Tonks." He caught himself from using her full name, which he knew she hated when anyone but he used, but in these moments it seemed to pain her more when he called her by her name, even if she did love it. "I know that you don't like this but I just need you to try to understand-" He was prepared to use the same arguments he had been before she cut him off angrily.
"Remus! Maybe you need to understand! Just listen to me! I don't care about lycanthropy! I don't care about money! Why don't you understand that! It's not up to you to decide what's best for me when I've been spending all my time saying that it's you!"
He stayed quiet, not because he felt obligated to, but because he had nothing to say. She waited a beat then let out a bitter laugh.
"Nothing to say when it makes so much sense." Then her hard eyes softened and she looked up at him. "Why won't you just let yourself be happy?" She asked, as he watched her fight back tears.
He resisted the urge to reach out to her.
"I'm sorry." He whispered. She stood and shook her head.
"Tell Siri I stopped by. Sorry I missed him."
He watched as she stormed out the door, feeling like a bigger idiot than ever before.
Dumbledore brought his hands together in a final goodbye, snapping Remus back into reality. When he looked up Tonks was rubbing at her wrist, a wince clearly present on her face. Everyone stood as Molly invited them to stay for dinner. Remus was just about to walk over to Dora when he saw Lily beat him to it, and the two women slipped out the kitchen door and up the stairs.
"You know Moony you're kind of a git." James came and sat on Remus's other side, looking to Sirius for back up. The black haired man nodded.
"Thanks guys. Really appreciate the vote of confidence." He said, trying not to look upstairs as if he could see Tonks the way Mad-eye Moody could.
"Why won't you just let yourself be happy?" James asked him, unknowingly echoing the words the pink haired woman had spoken to him just days before. Remus tried not to wince at the memory.
"It's not that easy." He felt himself saying, even though he knew they had heard it all before and were bound to have some compelling argument for the other side.
Sirius hit the table with a force that made Remus jump.
"It is that easy!" He hissed as to not draw attention to them, yet get his point across effectively. "It is that easy, because you got yourself into this, and you don't just get to walk away. That's my cousin Remus, and I will not watch you break her apart." Remus felt himself shrink back at the venom in Sirius's words. "So you get your sorry ass up there and you help her." Remus looked at his friend, waiting a beat.
"Drop the reservations Remus. For once in your life, think about yourself. Do something crazy, and damn the consequences." James said, setting an encouraging hand on his shoulder.
Remus stood up, shaking his head. "I'll go, but I don't think she wants me up there." He said with warning, pushing through the kitchen door and walking toward the stairs. He was looking at his feet in his nervousness, so he didn't see Lily as she rushed down, missing crashing into her by a hair.
"Remus! Good!" She grabbed his wrist without any explanation, and pulled him up into the room where Tonks slept on the rare occasions where she stayed there.
He looked at the woman lying on the bed hardly moving. He felt his eyes widen as he looked Lily straight in the face.
"What's happened." His voice was monotone, and Lily, to his confusion, cracked a smile.
"I should have told you. She's not dead." Remus felt himself breathe out as he walked over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. He looked back up at Lily.
"What's happened?" He asked again, much calmer, but still concerned.
"She overworks herself. Makes herself sick with busyness. And stress." She added the last part quietly, glancing at Remus quickly.
"Stress of work?" He asked, thinking he knew the answer but needing to hear the clarification anyway.
"Stress of you." Lily stated, the stern tone that he was used to coming out. She took a step closer, and pulled the covers just slightly away from the sleeping witch on the bed.
"Look at her hair Remus." Lily said gently. He glanced over, catching sight of the brown hair that sat atop her head. He held his breath as the woman stirred in her sleep mumbling something he couldn't understand.
He looked at Lily. "She was so tired she couldn't hold her morph?" He asked, his tone frustrated. Angry at himself for not seeing it, angry at Dora for letting it get so bad.
"Right. And the problem is, the reason I needed you, is because she's been having these nightmares… And they're… really bad. And I think it would be more effective if you were in here when she woke up." Lily said quickly, as if she didn't actually want Remus to hear what she was saying.
"Wait. How do you know how she's been sleeping?" He asked, thinking that Tonks had been staying at her own flat.
"She... Tonks... well, she... apparateshereafteryou'vegonetosleep. Usually rather late." Remus felt his shoulders slump in shame as he realized the weight of the impact he had on Tonks's life. She shifted in her sleep again, faster this time.
"Okay." Remus resigned, looking at Lily. " I'll stay with her." Lily smiled at him, nodding her head, walking over to sit in the arm chair across the room. Remus reposition himself so he was sitting on the bed next to Dora, his legs out straight in front of him.
He heard her whimper once, and looked up to see a knowing look from Lily. "She's going to start screaming in a minute." She warned. He quickly threw a silencing charm over the door.
"No!" Tonks thrashed in her sleep once calling out softly. He looked at Lily again who was now watching Dora intently. "Please!" Her voice was more strained, he resisted the urge to pull her into his arms before she woke up. She thrashed again hitting him with her arm.
"No! NO!" Her voice was higher pitched, her eyes pinched shut. "REMUS!" She screamed louder than he anticipated. He jumped once in alarm before shaking her quickly.
"Tonks!" He wrapped his arms around her. "Dora!" He called her again.
"Ah!" She jumped as her eyes open, unmorphed and just as large as he remembered from the boggart incident. She looked at him, dead in the eyes for a split second, before bursting into tears. He pulled her into him, cradling her smaller form in her lap, rubbing her back. Lily nodded at him from across the room, watching as he held her. He gave her a few minutes to get out her tears, to feel all the pain of what she just saw in her mind. He then leaned down so his lips were near her ear, keeping his voice gentle.
"Dora… I'm right here." She clutched his shirt, burying her head in his neck. "Tell me what you saw." He chided, adjusting her so that she was even closer to him if that was possible.
"G-greyback." She stuttered in her sleepy and emotional state, laying her head on his shoulder, wetting his shirt with the stray tears that she didn't bother to catch. "Greyback at the department of mysteries." Remus watched Lily lean forward slightly with interest, and realized Tonks may have never told Lily what she was dreaming. Remus wondered if all her dreams affected her this much
"We're on guard duty… together, like we used to. And he comes in. He runs in, and comes to me. But you don't let him… Y-you two fight. And you t-tell me to run. I d-don't listen at first because I don't want you to get hurt. But it gets worse, and you say it again, louder, more serious. But now my feet won't move and I try to help you in the fight…" She began to shake, and he pulled the quilt up over the two of them, trying to warm her. "Greyback gets mad, pulls out a wand. He crucios me and tells you that if you don't stop fighting he'll kill me. As you fall to your knees in surrender he turns his wand on you…. And then he…" She didn't finish, but Remus nodded to let her know he understood how it ended. She didn't have to spell it out for him.
"It's fake Dora." He said slowly, adjusting her so he could look into her eyes. "It's not real, and I am right here. I am right here, and I am not leaving you alone." Her eyebrows pinched together as he said it. He nodded his head. "I'm right here." He said again for good measure.
Lily slowly stood from the corner of the room and slipped out the door, giving Remus a smile and a nod as she did.
"Now why don't you change into something more comfortable for sleeping. And I'll tell Kingsley to inform them you're sick for work tomorrow. And I'll get some dreamless sleep potion." He made moves to stand up, and she grabbed his cloak.
"You don't have to do this Remus. I'll be fine." He heard the empty tone come back into her voice, and he made sure to keep his voice level, his eyes looking right into hers.
"I am here to help you, Nymphadora. Because I care about you a great deal. Please don't deny me the joy of doing for you what you so faithfully do for me during the full moon." He pretended not to know it was her who dropped wolfsbane on the front steps every few days before the moon. But he found out after waiting outside disillusioned one day in an effort to find out if it was really her. He watched her blush as she realized he knew, and she nodded. He took a minute before standing again, and walking to the door.
"I'll be right back. I expect you to be wearing sleep clothes and ready for bed when I come back." She nodded, the unusual brown hair flopping with the motion.
Remus felt his feet move faster than he planned as he rushed into the kitchen, and without so much as a word to anyone sitting in it he grabbed the potion he needed, some tea from the cupboard, and scribbled a note to Kingsley telling him Tonks wouldn't be in tomorrow. He ignored the amused, yet curious looks from his friends, got a knowing smile and nod of approval from Lily, and was up the stairs before anyone could even get out the question 'what are you doing?'
He knocked once before gently pushing open the door with his foot. "Dora?" When he opened is fully he saw her standing in front of a mirror, trying to change her hair color to no avail. He set the items on the dresser before walking over to her.
"What's the matter?" He asked trying to pretend as if he didn't know she was fully unmorphed.
"It won't work. I can't change anything. I can't control any of it." She sounded more upset than he anticipated, so he tried a new tactic.
"You look different. But this is who you are. You're a bit shorter than I initially knew. And your eyes are even bigger, which is so special because those are how I know what you're thinking. Your eyes say a lot about you. And maybe your shoulders are a bit bonier. Which just says that you're a bit smaller. Which is good because now-" He picked her up and carried her over to the bed. "We fit perfectly this way." He said throwing caution to the wind and not thinking about the future impact of his words.
"And you're hair is beautiful all the time. In every light, and every season." He slipped her off of his lap and onto the bed, grabbing the two mugs, and filling them with water using his wand, he let the tea bags steep properly, opening the third drawer of her dresser where he hid chocolate.
"Here." He broke her a piece, before levitating the mugs and the potion over to her, before climbing into the bed next to her. "She took the chocolate piece from his hands with a smile, glancing down at the mugs.
"Remus…" She said softly, her voice thick with emotion she had yet to express.
"Drink the tea. Warm up, then get some sleep." She took the cup obediently, smiling at him as she did.
"Yes professor." She whispered with a smile that didn't reach her eyes but was better than the pain etched on her face moments before. She drank the tea in record time, and he unstopped the flask before handing it to her.
"Sleep, Dora. I will be right here. The whole time." He promised her, setting the mugs on the side table, and snuggling her into him.
"Are you-"
He cut her off with a look. "I am sure. Sleep, Nymphadora. You will feel better when you wake up." He then leaned forward and kissed her head and she sipped back the last of the potion. He watched her eyes flutter immediately.
"W-what was i-in there?" SHe asked, exhaustion slurring her words. He shook his head.
"Dora, go to bed."
She giggled into his chest, before looking up at him, her eyes nearly shut. "R-remus?" She asked. He decided to humor her.
"Yes, Nymphadora?" He looked down at her.
"I love you." She whispered, tracing her fingers up his chest. He nodded, smiling even though she couldn't see.
She tapped him twice, "Re-Rems?" She said, struggling to hold her head up because the potion was so powerful.
"Nymphadora. Sleep now" he said. She mumbled something else incoherent before setting her head on his chest and slipping into a sleep that he hoped would fix all her ailments. He waited until her breathing evened out.
"I love you too, Nymphadora." He said, adjusting himself properly so he could read his book while she rested on him.
Hours passed, and long after the sun had set there was a gentle tap on the door. James Potter pushed it open with his foot, holding a bowl of soup in his hand.
"You want some dinner?" He asked Remus, pushing the door shut behind him. Remus gave his friend a grateful smile before nodding his head, and adjusting Tonks so he could eat while she slept. James pulled a chair up to the bed, sitting across from Remus, handing him the soup bowl.
"Glad Lily finally told you about the dreams." James said. Remus was not surprised James knew, though slightly annoyed by the truth that he was the only one out of the loop again.
"I gave her some dreamless sleep potion. Hoping it'll keep her out until morning." Remus explain, taking a spoonful of Molly's beef stew.
"You relax her, Moony. Anyone with two eyes would see that. Even when she wants to hate you she visibly relaxes when you walk into a room." James said, causing Remus to again realize how much he'd missed his friend.
"I know, James. I do. Even if it took me a while to figure it out. But there's more to consider that just how I make her feel calm. Dumbledore asked me to-"
"He told me about the wolves, Remus." James said, cutting his friend off. "And I told him that I firmly believed you would decline, at least for now. I asked him to give you more time. Asked if there was a way to wait and see if the need became more urgent. And he approved of the idea." James looked at Remus pointedly. "I just got you back, Moony. I'd like it if you stuck around for a bit."
Remus couldn't help but smile at James, shaking his head. "You really thought this one out, didn't you?" He asked, glancing down at the sleeping woman in his arms.
"I had a lot of time. And I just want you to be happy. That's all I ever want really." Remus finished the last of his soup and set the bowl aside.
"She makes me happy, James. A happy that had become so foreign to me…" He involuntarily pulled her closer to himself, smiling as she snuggled closer to him in her sleep.
"I know, Remus. So stop pushing her away. Because for as long as I'd known you, I've never seen the look you get in your eyes when she tells a story, or falls down the stairs." The two men laughed at the imagine, and the countless memories of Nymphadora's follies.
"I don't want to hurt her." Remus continued to confide in his friend like old times, only wishing Sirius were in the room, but also thankful he wasn't; because he had the unique tendency to get very defensive of Tonks' emotions.
"Hurt is a part of love, Moony. But it's always worth the risk. And if it's any help, I think you should take it. I did…" He finished with a wink.
"I'll think on it…" Remus said, although he was already far closer to an answer. "Go spend time with your son. Thank you for dinner." He said, with a smile. James nodded and stood looking at the pair in front of him.
"You look good together, Remus." He said with a won before snagging the empty bowl and ducking out the door.
Reus felt himself laugh, before locking the door with a flick of his wand, and laying back against the headboard. He wanted to stay awake in case Dora had a dream; it was unlikely, but even the best potions had cracks.
Like wolfsbane…
He shook the thought away, letting his mind wander to better things, warmed by the presence of the colorful witch at his side.
He woke with a start, feeling her breath tickle his chest, yet trying not to move for fear of waking of her. He stirred, almost involunatarliy, trying to stretch his shoulder before realizing that at some point during the night he had slid down and pulled the woman even closer to him.
When he looked down he saw her eyes fluttering open.
She took a long breath in through her nose and looked up at him.
"Good morning, Tonks." He whispered to her, wondering what time it was, trying to see through the dark curtains if the sun was yet up.
"Wotcher Remus." She said, her voice equally hoarse from the sleep. She took a long yawn, rolling to the side to stretch her arms, before turning right back into him.
"How do you feel?" He asked, rubbing his hand in small circles on her shoulder as they lay.
"Like I finally slept…" She said softly. "Let's see shall we?" With a pinch of her face he watched as her hair changed into the brightest orange he had ever seen. He felt his lips jump into a smile as he saw her.
"That's quite a change, Dora." Remus said, adoration thick in his voice. Her cheeks pinkened slightly as he did.
"Thank you for staying with me, Remus…" She took a deep breath as she said it. "I won't bother you to do it again." She added, her eyes downcast even as she said it.
"Nymphadora," Remus began, loving the way her name sounded, especially when she was lying next to him in bed as he said it. "I made a lot of mistakes in my life. Coming here to make sure you were okay was not one of them. And if it's okay with you it's something I would like to start doing more often." He watched her eyebrows pinch together, then her unmorphed, grey eyes locked into his.
"Wait- what?" She asked, not hiding she excitement in her tone.
"I surrender. I want to be happy, Dora. And if it's okay with you… you make me exceptionally happy." He worked to find the right words, and by the look on her face he was pretty sure it worked.
"Remus… I don't think I understand…" He simply looked down at her, decidedly loving her unmorphed eyes, and nodded.
She threw her arms around his neck, and he couldn't help but reciprocate the action, pulling her closer to him by her waist.
"Look at what I can do." She whispered in his ear sounding to him like a small child excited to show a new trick. He pulled back so he could look at her. She jumped up off the bed, and he reached out and grabbed her wrist without a second thought, knowing she was going to morph herself.
"Wait." He said, jumping up to stand behind her. He walked with her over to the mirror she had been staring into hopelessly the night before.
"Change your hair Dora." He said kindly. He watched as her eyes grew slightly guarded. He realized instantly the misunderstanding they were having. "No, no. Don't confuse my words. I should say 'un-change' your hair." He wrapped a pink strand around his finger, watching as her face pinched up, and her hair shifted to brown.
He looked at her reflection in the mirror, locking eyes with her. "I want to see the real you." He whispered into her ear, feeling her shiver in his arms, which were wrapped around her midsection from behind.
She looked at him for just a moment, before shaking her head.
"How d'you know this isn't it?" She asked, a little smirk playing at her lips as she tugged the bottom of his ratty cardigan.
"Because I know you." He said with a shrug. "And I felt you shifting everything this morning just before you realized I was awake." She grinned at him sheepishly.
"What if you don't-"
"Nymphadora." He chastised her lightly. "If you were about to question whether or not my affection for you is purely based on looks then maybe I should be the one threatening to hex you. On the same thread if you were to question whether or not I would still like you physically in your natural state, then I don't think you understand the depth of my feeling for you." He caught her eyes in the mirror again, trying to read the look in them. "But," He sighed, rubbing her arms affectionately, "I will not make you do something you do not want to do."
He kissed the top of her head, and made to move away.
"Wait." She whispered, her mouth showing hints of a smile.
Her face pinched up slightly, and he watched as she shifted to her normal state of self. Her grey eyes grew rounder, her heart shaped face more defined. She stood about one or two inches shorter, her whole frame smaller, yet maybe more muscular.
Her small hand reached for his as her brown hair fell to her shoulders.
"Nymphadora." Remus had to bend down to reach her ear now at her normal height. "I think you are absolutely beautiful."
She shook her head.
"Can I morph now?" She asked bouncing on her toes a bit as she asked.
"Can I ask you a question, a favor, I may say?" She nodded her head slowly.
"Leave one thing real." He said, hoping she would choose her eyes.
She nodded her head. "I'm going to change into my robes now, alright?" He nodded taking his cue to leave the room, realizing it would be wise to change into fresh clothes himself.
He slipped out the door, biding his time on asking her why she felt the need to change her appearance for everyone.
Down the hall he ran into Sirius who was just leaving his room.
"Morning Moony!" He called, sounding far too chipper for a normal day. Remus decided to leave the questions unasked, and simply smiled at the unusual state of his best friend. "Everything work out okay?" He asked with a wink gesturing to Tonks' door.
With a shake of his head Remus felt himself laughing along with Sirius at something that shouldn't have been as funny as the two men found it to be. LIly cracked open the door of her room with James.
"What's got you two so giddy?" She asked, twisting her long red hair up and sticking her wand in it to keep it up.
"Everyone needs something to smile about, especially in times like these." Sirius said through a gasp of breath as he clutched his side.
James slipped out the door next, throwing his arms over Lily's shoulder with a smile.
"Look at this lot. Just like old times." He said with a wide smile, kissing her on the head.
"Just like old times…" Sirius trailed off, growing less jovial quickly.
"Except I went to Azkaban, and Peter is on the run, and-"
"I told you… we're working out a plan." Lily said, cutting Sirius off in a tone that much reminded Remus of Hermione when she was proving Ron or Harry wrong in some way or another.
He didn't understand what she meant, but figured it wasn't the time to ask as Tonks pushed open her door.
"Hey there sunshine." Sirius called to her, commenting on her yellow hair with just a nod of his head.
"Wotcher guys." She responded, unmorphed eyes lingering on Remus a beat longer than the rest. He held in his smile unsuccessfully as he looked to his friends.
"How about we make some breakfast, all together?" He asked, an unusual warmth filling his heart at the joy that surrounded them even in the time that was starting to feel so dark.
"I have been absolutely dying for pancakes." Tonks groaned, walking down the stairs a step ahead of the men starting to whisper something with Lily.
"Pancakes it is then! Do you boys remember the secret recipe?" James asked as the men ventured after them.
"I was so hoping you'd mention that." Sirius began. "And when we finish eating we ought to respond to Harry's letter again. I swear the boy send them daily whether you answer or not James." They laughed entering the kitchen, having no concerns for what lay ahead.