Hey there! Hope you're still around, sorry for the delay, enjoy!
The next weeks passed by with Tonks and Remus attending guard duty in the Department of Mysteries, and working through with lily and James exactly how to prove Sirius's innocence, without letting Voldemort know the truth that they were alive.
It was on the seventeenth of December that everything began to change. Around the middle of November Harry's letters had taken an alarming turn, and he confided in his parents about terrible dreams he had been having. They asked Remus of his thoughts on the matter but he had no way of understanding. He knew there was a special draw between Harry and Voldemort, but he had no way of understanding the depth of it.
The Order met in the kitchen of Grimmauld place late on the evening of the sixteenth, planning out the next few days of guard duty before the kids came home for holiday break. Mad-eye Moody stood at the head of the table, writing with plain parchment and paper, making a hard to read chart of who was set to guard and when.
"Nymphadora." He called to her ignoring her cringe and Sirius's snicker as he used her full name. "I have you set for the night of the eighteenth." She pinched her eyes together before speaking out.
"Actually Mad-eye I have a assignment then for work. Is there anyway we could change that?" She stood, tripping over her chair but making it to him anyway.
"I think I could do it for you Tonks." Arthur Weasley said, looking to Moody for approval. Tonks was leaning over him reading the chart, ignoring the harsh look he was giving her. She nodded at the paper, and Mad-eye gave Arthur a gruff okay, before handing the meeting back over to Dumbledore. He closed the night out with well wishes for the holidays and a rough idea for when they would be meeting again.
Molly began to ship together things in the kitchen for dinner with the help of Lily, and Remus wandered up the stairs to his room, thinking about the soon to be arrival of the kids for Holiday break, and the fact that if everyone stayed here like they were initially planning, Tonks would be kicked out of her room again. He entered his room and glanced out the window, watching for a moment as the first snow began to fall. It was cold, that night in London, but the high spirits of the Christmas season were enough to make the people in number 12 Grimmauld place feel a bit warmer. Even with all the danger looming on the horizon.
There was a knock on his door, and Sirius pushed it open.
"Hey Pads." Remus called over his shoulder, still watching the falling snow as he did. "Dinner almost ready?" He asked, wondering what brought Sirius up here when everyone else sounded like they were having such a good time downstairs.
"Yeah, it is." He responded quickly, sounding troubled.
Padfoot walked over and was standing next to Remus, looking out the large window.
"Harry'll be home soon." Sirius said, touching his hand to the icy glass before pulling it away quickly, leaving a fogged up handprint on the window. "I don't want him to go back, what with that prejudice bat Umbridge working as the DA professor. They musn't be learning a thing, and this is a time where defending yourself is most important." Remus nodded, being the listening ear his friend needed.
"This is Harry we're talking about, Padfoot. The boy who against all odds 'won' the tri-wizard tournament, as a 14 year old boy. The kid who stopped voldemort in his tracks, whether he intended to or not. Harry is very wise, and very powerful. I have no doubt that he is doing whatever he believes needs to be done in order for his friends to be most prepared for what is coming." He set a hand on his friend's shoulder, feeling himself sigh at the thought.
"But like you said, he'll be home soon," Remus continued. "And when he's home we'll need to remind him that we are behind him, that the whole order, and his parents are behind him." Sirius nodded, his black mane shaking as he did.
"Thanks Remus." His old friend said. "I think being locked up in here is making me crazy." He said, shaking his head.
We're going to find a way to prove you innocent. Remus vowed to his friend silently, figuring it wasn't the best time to mention the plans he was forming in his head to make sure everyone knew that it was not Black who killed anyone, while still allowing Lily and James's living to remain a secret.
"It'll all work out in time, Sirius." Remus said instead, turning slowly to face the door. "Let's go eat." He said, walking down the creaky stairs as quietly as he could working not to wake the screaming portrait in the hall.
James looked up at them with questioning eyes when they got into the kitchen, but didn't say anything. Tonks and Moody were talking by the door in hushed tones, Remus left them be believing she would tell him whatever he needed to know.
"Alright, we'll see everyone at the next meeting." Mad-eye said gruffly, patting Dora once on the shoulder before he left, then slipped out the door as quietly as a man missing one leg could. Tonks skipped over, stumbling into a seat next to Remus and Lily. Molly looked at her with a mixture of amusement and frustration as she dropped in the chair.
"I like the color today Tonks," Kingsley, who had finally been given enough time to sit with them for dinner, commented with a wave of his spoon. "I heard noise from the newbies in the department when I was dropping out some paperwork about the 'color haired witch with the alarming ability to fall at any given moment.' I imagined they were just shocked by the pink." He added with a laugh, eyes trained on the vivid green color that framed her heart shaped face.
"I decided it was time for a change. I think I'm going to keep it like this for a little while." She said with a wink, noticing the wide eyed glance Sirius and Remus shared.
"Kidding!" She called, gently nudging him with her elbow. "It gives me a headache every time it falls into my eyes." With that she pinched her face and her hair changed back to the calming pink Remus had grown to love so much.
"It's almost time for the kids to come home!" Arthur said, changing the course of the conversation with an excited clap of his hands. Molly's face cracked into a very excited smile.
"Christmas is almost here." Lily sang, her green eyes glowing with excitement. "Remember Harry's first Christmas?" She asked James with an added glint in her eyes. He let out a boisterous laugh that caught Remus and Sirius quickly as they all remember the toy broom, and small flat filled with gifts for the boy.
Molly and Tonks watched with fondness as the friends remembered old times, which they did frequently, bringing everyone into the memory with their animated storytelling. Dinner passed by far too quickly for anyone's liking, and slowly the friends become family began to clean the kitchen, as Kingsley made his leave.
"May I head out with you King? I figure I should stay at my flat tonight with all the at-home paperwork I was given." Tonks asked with a huff, standing slowly, her actions quieted by exhaustion.
"Of course, Tonks. I can apparate there with you to make sure everything is safe on the inside." He added, smiling at her.
She walked to his side, grabbing her tan, long strapped bag and tossing it on her shoulder. "Alright everyone, I'll see you soon. Thanks for helping with that guard duty Arthur!" She said, heading toward the hallway behind Kingsley. Remus made to follow her out, telling everyone he'd be right back.
He didn't even make it to the door before he heard the woman crash to the ground, and the portrait began screaming. He and Sirius rushed into the hall in an effort to get it quiet as Tonks rubbed at her elbow apologizing profusely as she always did when this happened.
Silence filled the hallway when the curtains were jammed shut. Remus held his hand out to the woman and pulled her to her feet quickly.
"How about I aparate to your flat with you. You're mighty tired, and I'll make sure every works out okay?" He asked her quietly, getting a tired smile and a nod in return.
Kingsley seemed to understand what was happening, and looked at the pair with a nod. "I'll see you at the next assignment then Tonks." He said, throwing a wink her way before closing the front door and apparating with a quick pop.
"Okay Padfoot, I'll be back soon." Remus said, walking out with the woman and sidelonging her to her flat, fearing she would splinch with how tired she was starting to look.
She quickly worked to undo a few wards set up outside her apartment, before pulling him in with her and shutting the door with a click behind her.
Without words she walked him over to the couch and sat down, pulling him with her. He set his arm over the top, letting her rest her head on his chest.
"What were you and Sirius talking about upstairs?" Tonks asked quietly, her hand set on his stomach she she leaned against him.
"The new Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts." He responded honestly with a discontented sigh. "She's ruining the school…" He tried not to dwell on it. "How about you and Moody?" He asked, figuring she wouldn't mind.
"The same thing." She said, her voice equally as somber as his. "Dumbledore fears his position as headmaster is in jeopardy. He also believes the kids are running something under the radar to learn real spells. Moody wants me to figure out what I can in order to make sure no one gets hurt in the long run." She yawned again, snuggling herself further into his side.
"What's your plan then?" He asked her, hoping to talk to her before she fell asleep.
"I'm thinking I may just ask Ginny. The next few days are full of paperwork for me, so I can logically bring it all back her, sort it out quickly, then head to the castle… But with that pink toad there it won't be as easy as it has been in the past…" She rubbed her cheek thoughtfully with the hand that wasn't now holding Remus's.
"Paper work here seems like a good idea. I don't like the thought of you in that building with so many people denying the truth of Voldemort's return." He said, adjusting his position so she was more laying down on him.
"Remus are you trying to force me asleep?" She asked, her voice already thicker with exhaustion.
"Yes." He responded with a smirk she couldn't see, but must have known he was wearing. He began to subconsciously rub circles on her arm, feeling his own eyes growing heavier.
"It's working." She said, taking a long breath in.
"Good." He said, looking down as her eyelids were falling closed. "Goodnight Dora." He said, leaning forward to kiss the top of her head thinking she was asleep.
"Will you stay?" She asked, her voice sounding completely alive, yet her eyes still closed. Remus shook his head. Of course she was awake.
"Sleep now." He said softly, not answering her question because he didn't know for himself. She nodded against his chest, either understanding his conflict, or forgetting she asked anything in the first place.
"Goodnight Remus." She whispered.
Before he knew what was happening his own eyes were drifting shut and the two fell into a peaceful sleep for the night, wrapped in each other on the small couch in her warm flat.
Two nights later Remus and Tonks were sitting at the kitchen table of her flat where both had slept the night before, she was working on filing papers for mission she had just returned home from at her table, he was laying in the chair with a book. Neither were too concerned when Moody's patronus floated in.
Then the message was relayed.
Remus rushed over to her, and without words side-longed them to Grimmauld place. Standing and waiting at the door were James and Lily. They pulled their friends into tight hugs, letting the tears fall.
"Dumbledore has Harry now." James explained quickly, rushing everyone into the kitchen. Were going to check on Arthur." He added. Remus nodded knowing that he and Tonks were included in that mission.
"No time to waste." Moody barked, walking in the door behind them. "Get over there before someone else does." Without any more words, the four apparated as close as they could to the ministry, disillusioned themselves and ran inside.
Tonks threw her hand over her mouth at the sight of all the blood. They worked to clean everything up quickly, without words, because there was nothing left to say. There were no assurances that Arthur was alive, just the understanding that Dumbledore had a plan, and Moody was bringing him to the hospital.
When the aurors started rushing in the crew of four slipped out, disapparating from the outside back to Tonk's flat.
Taking the disillusionment charm off themselves, Remus was able to really take a look at his friends. James and Lily were both wide eyed and clearly alarmed. The weight of the situation was becoming real again. The war was really starting.
His eyes traveled to Tonks, who was standing dead still in the middle of her living room, arms wrapped around her waist, huge eyes trained on the floor. Lily slowly walked over.
"Tonks… Are you okay?" The trio were all equally confused at her response, knowing she didn't hold this fear of danger or blood for that matter, because as an auror you couldn't.
She didn't move, and Remus took a step toward her, watching Lily's eyes pinch in confusion. He watched the pink haired woman with her suddenly shaking hands and eyes that, if Remus didn't know better, he would say were filling with tears. He pulled out his wand, tapping it to her shirt, cleaning off the small stain of Arthur's blood she got on it in the clean up.
"Tonks…" Lily said again, walking around Remus and setting a hand on her shoulder, ignoring the woman's jump as she did so. The room fell still again as a patronus from Kingsley rushed through the room. I got you covered for the assignment today, no need to come in. Get some of that filing work done that should be on your table soon. Stay safe, Moody will be in touch.
"We have to change, I imagine the kids are at headquarters, and clearly at least I will be expected to go to Mungo's with Mad-Eye later." She spoke, but her voice held no emotion. Come on Dora, talk to me. Remus asked quietly in his head, willing her to open her shell. Lily whispered something to James, and they began to walk back to the door.
"Erm… Lil and I will apparate back to Padfoot now… then we'll see you both in a few minutes then? Patronus with any info." They were giving Tonks and Remus some space, and even a little time. Remus nodded silently, waiting until they popped away to look at the woman next to him.
"December 18, Remus." She said, her eyes still staring at the ground, without further words she fell to the ground and pulled her knees to her chest. "Dammit." She said softly, shaking her head. "Dammit!" It was louder this time, and Remus dropped to the ground next to her. "Dammit, dammit, dammit!" She was crashing her hand into her leg with every shout, growing hysterical each time.
"Tonks." He tried, wrapping his arms around her. "Nymphadora." He used his teacher voice on her, not expecting her to stop all thrashing and fall into his arms.
"Dammit Remus!" He still had no idea what was happening. "It was my guard duty." She said, speaking into his shoulder. "Shit Remus. It was mine. It was me, it was supposed to be me." He felt her shaking again, wondering how she was holding back tears he knew should have been falling.
"Dora, it's alright. It's okay. He's going to be okay and-"
"What if he's not? What then? Then seven kids lost their dad, and I live on fine." She shook her head against him, rubbing her hands over her face.
"Tonks. You need to listen and listen well. Arthur will be okay, and yes, maybe initially it was you, but no matter what, I am beyond thankful that right now you are next to me, in my arms. And I know how selfish that is, and how wrong. But Nymphadora Tonks, I am so thankful that you are here." She turned, her eyes finally damp with unshed tears, and dropped the sweetest, lightest kiss on his lips she had ever given before.
"Dora, go change. Please." He said, pulling away slower than he intended, but knowing he had to. She slid out from his embrace, quietly stepping into her room and pushing the door shut. Remus took the time alone to let out the heaviest breath he'd been holding since the moment the patronus first came through. To think that could have been the woman in that room. It could have been her in St. Mungo's, bleeding and scared. Sick and hurting. He fell into the couch, putting his hands over his face.
One work assignment. That's all it took for me to almost lose her. That's how close she was. Lost in thought he didn't hear her come out and set herself on the couch next to him. She pulled his hands away and held them in her own, grabbing his green eyes with her large, unmorphed, grey ones.
"I thought we weren't going to worry." She said, a small smile tugging at her lips, small but sad. He nodded.
"I'm trying. I am." He stood , pulling her with him, suddenly feeling his age again as his joints cracked. "Let's get to headquarters." He walked with her out the door, re-setting the protection wards and apparating together to Grimmauld place, not knowing what to expect when they arrived.
Just about one month later Remus, Lily, and James were sitting at the table in headquaters. Sirius was in the basement re-setting wards for the full-moon which was only two days away. The last days of January were upon them, the kids just recently went back to school, Harry was taking his occlumency lessons with Snape, giving back mostly negative reviews.
"Listen, Remus," James began suddenly, talking quickly in a hushed whisper, constantly watching the basement door to make sure Padfoot wasn't coming back up, "before Sirius gets back up… Lily and I have some thoughts on how to prove his innocence… but it could get a bit dangerous. And bad for you if it doesn't work so what do you think of-"
"Moony, this is going to be the best wolfsbane free full moon you ever had." Sirius shoved the door open, making a grand entrance back with everyone. James gave Remus a quick shake of his head and looked at Sirius grimly.
"Wolfsbane free." He muttered in frustration. "Why couldn't any of us have been the potions master we need to be in order to help our mate out?" Lily smiled sadly and rubbed his arms. Snape refused to make him the potion this time around, and this was the one time he really needed it.
"It's not like you haven't handled it before. It's always worked out." She caught Remus's eyes with her own, not failing to see the pain and concern in them. "Everything will be fine. It always is." She pulled her hair behind her neck. She didn't understand. This moon was different. A once in a lifetime moon that was nothing like the other ones. He'd never handled this before. "Plus Tonks and I will be upstairs waiting, and have tea ready for you all in the morning." She chirped with a smile. Remus felt the anger rise up, defensive of something he didn't even know.
"No chance." He said quickly, his voice holding more venom than he intended. James set his hand on Lily's protectively, as her own eyes flashed with her anger. Sirius stopped what he was doing, his eyes on Remus."The two of you will not be anywhere near this house on that night. At all." Lily opened her mouth to speak, but Remus beat her to it. "Lily! This is non-negotiable! The risk that's involved with either of you being near me even when there is wolfsbane-!" He couldn't even finish the sentence, the thought made him sick that he allowed them so close simply because he had a potion that was supposed to help. "Without?! It's too dangerous. I cannot-"
" Risk hurting my very capable auror girlfriend, and best mate while under the control of my other two best mates, while warded in a basement, with steps that will be taken away during the night, leaving me with no way out! 'I'm too Dangerous!'" Tonks burst in the room, mocking and interrupting him in stride, "And another thing. What's with all this 'wolfsbane free?'" Her face pinched as she said the words. "Lily you're mad, absolutely mad." She walked over, standing across the table from the man staring him straight in the face. "But anywho," she continued, pulling to vials out of her bag. "I got the potion."
Remus took in a slow breath, swallowing his frustration before looking at the now blue haired ray of sunshine in front of him. He raised his eyes slowly to look at the potions sitting on the table, before looking at James, who was still watching him cautiously.
"Merlin, Moony, you're awfully temperamental this time around. There a new moon phase or something?" James asked. The joke was there, but the question was serious. Remus had yet to tell any of them, but the moon was different this one month, as it was every forty-eight years.
He rubbed his hands over his eyes, pretending to laugh along with James, who wasn't laughing. "Nothing special about this one, just a tiring week I guess." He convinced his two friends quickly, but didn't miss the way the women watched him with suspecting eyes.
"Take some rest. We have a meeting tonight." Sirius said, patting his friend on the back.
"Moved to tomorrow." Tonks sang at him, tripping over her boots as she walked to get a butterbeer. "Which reminds me… do you lot get the prophet here?" She asked, sticking her head in the cabinet getting a cup.
"Most certainly not. There's nothing worth reading in that sack of nonsense." James answered quickly, walking toward her and grabbing a mug just as it slipped from her hand. "Why do you ask?" He said, setting it on the counter with a smile.
Tonks glanced up at him nervously. "Just wanting to catch up on the news." She said lamely, Sirius pulled out his wand.
"We can get it if you-"
"No need." SHe cut him off quickly. "I'll read it at work tomorrow." She poured the butter beer and walked to the kitchen. "Anyway, I think I'm going to shower off. Is it alright if I stay here tonight?" The question was casual, but Remus knew she was hiding something. It was also pointless. Everyone loved when she stayed the night, so she didn't even wait for an answer before continuing her way upstairs.
Ironic, we both harbor secrets from the other right now. He felt guilty with the realization, and without thinking moved to follow her up the stairs to her room when she stayed. He pushed the door open quietly, surprised that it made not even a creak. She was sitting on the bed, her back to the door, fiddling with something in her hands.
"Dora." He called gently. She spun to face him, her lips spread up in a smile at the sound of his voice. "Something on your mind, love?" He asked, feeling the familiar pain and guilt jump in his stomach as he called her the one thing he had no right to call her.
"You're lying to me." She said, patting the spot beside her. The invitation to sit was tempting, but he walked around and stood in front of the window watching her eyes.
"Nympha-" Her eyes grew wide in anger, and his words fell away.
"You don't get to do that, not if you're not being truthful." She looked up at him, pained, and he felt the anger swell in him again, uncontainable.
"What for you?" His voice was sharp, and he watched her pull back from him just a bit as he said it. "There's something you're hiding too. About the prophet?" He couldn't stop himself. This was who he was. This rare in a lifetime moon was there to remind him what he was capable of.
"The prophet doesn't matter, what's going on with you?" She asked, standing up and looking at him hard. He wanted to fight the anger that was so out of character. But it was too easy to give in. Too easy to let it all out in one moment of misunderstanding between the pair.
"I know what it means when you say it doesn't matter!" He felt his voice rising. Felt the anger of what was called the red moon filling him. He'd only read about it, and now he knew why it was so dreaded. He could have hit her with the anger he was feeling; the only thing stopping him was the years of self control he'd worked to build up.
Calm down, don't hurt her. It really doesn't matter. His rational brain tried to stop him, but instead he found himself shouting. "What is it? A new wolf legislation? Unbridge news?! What do you gain by keeping me in the dark from the world? You don't get to decide what I can and can't hear you don't get to-"
"Stop yelling at me!" She shouted, her voice jumping over his. He knew everyone downstairs would be able to hear them. He didn't even care.
"Am I not allowed to be hurt that you don't trust me?!" He took a step toward her toward rushing across the room for fear of hurting her.
"What are you talking about?!" She walked toward him, not realizing the danger she was putting herself in. "What is happening?" Her hair jumped red, and he saw a mix of what he thought was fear and pain in her eyes.
"This is what I am, Tonks." He felt the venom in his voice, realizing he had no control over himself anymore. "The prophet knows it! Which why you've been so insistent on going anywhere muggle recently. Your mum probably knows it which is why you won't let me see her again. You know it. You disappear more and more these days. And I pretend not to be hurt by the men I know you're with because you deserve so much better! Go be happy!" He was raging with unbridled emotion, shouting louder than he probably ever had before, he knew it was only seconds before Sirius came up if they didn't quiet down soon.
Tonks voice was deadly low, which made it even more alarming than the sudden loud of Remus, "Other men?" She spit the words out like acid. "How dare you." She rushed toward him so she was just one step away from his face. "You even think I think about anyone else except you? Every day, I'm at work, worried about you. About what's coming. About what we're facing. About war." She looked as if she were going to hit him, or cry. "There is no one else."
Maybe both. He realized with another pang of guilt.
Suddenly she was shouting again. "You keep secrets because you think it makes things better?! Plot Twist- THIS isn't better!" She ripped a shaky hand through her hair. "What is your problem?" Her fist was clenched at her siode, he couldn't contain himself anymore.
Without thinking he felt his hand collide with the wall behind him. He watched her jump in alarm and step away, yet still holding firm in anger. He heard their three friends rushing up the stairs, but didn't stop his tirade. He had lost all control of himself; he was letting the wolf take over completely.
"You keep secrets, Nymphadora." He'd never said her first name with such venom. It felt wrong to let it out that way, but he couldn't take it back. "It's how you live right now. In a world of secret keeping and lies you don't even tell the truth about your physical-" He knew he was going farther than he should. He simply turned and hit the wall again, harder this time than the last.
"Two nights ago," her voice was a whisper, and he fought everything not to run to her. He couldn't be close to her. He saw James and Sirius standing in the doorway, he couldn't look at them either. "Two nights ago there was a mass break-out. From Azkaban." She whispered it, not looking at him when she said it. "You want to know my secrets Remus? Yeah. Right." Her hair dropped to brown and he saw the pain in her eyes that she morphed back to how they usually were.
He couldn't stand it, he turned toward her taking a step closer. "Nympha-"
"Don't." She said, one word, were voice so level, yet so sharp he physically pulled back farther from her. "What the hell, Remus?" He took a step toward her, trying not to flinch when she pulled away quickly, clearly afraid.
"Who got out?" He whispered back to her, trying to keep his voice level, not even caring that it held a dark bitterness as he tried to reign in his emotions.
"I'll let you guess." She said, equally as level, equally as black, watching his eyes and his hands with an intensity he wasn't used to. He heard someone gasp behind him, guessing it was Lily. He didn't bother to acknowledge their audience.
A shudder of anger went through his body, and she stepped back again, he hated that he was scaring her; even if she would pretend she wasn't afraid he knew she was. He felt his defenses break as he let the anger subside, as he became himself again. It would only get worse as the moon got closer.
"Remus?" She asked, changing her mind and deciding to move closer to him.
"What do you know about the red moon, Dora?" He asked her quietly, almost hoping she wouldn't hear it. But she did, and he watched her eyes widen in understanding. She then rushed toward him and tossed her arms around his neck. He all but forgot about the three people standing behind him as he pulled her into his chest clinging to her as a lifeline to keep himself sane.
"Is that now?" She asked, thinking back to the first conversation they'd ever really had about his lycanthropy, and feeling guilt rise in her because she didn't even consider. She had fueled him with her own ager.
She had feared him for something he couldn't even control.
"Remus." She chided when he didn't answer right away. She tried to pull away to look into his eyes, but he tightened his arms around her waist, using her to keep himself grounded. He nodded into her brown hair, breathing deeply to take in her scent.
"What can I do?" She asked. Her heart was breaking for him as she thought about all the awful things she'd almost said to him. But then it hurt worse to think over the awful things he'd actually said to her. Did he mean all that?
"Keep me in the basement until it's over." He said, knowing she would hate the idea, bu really belieiving it was right.
"You're not a dog Remus." She said indignantly, shaking her head. "I'm not going to lock you up." He pulled away from her slowly, taking a breath to make sure he wouldn't lose it on her again.
"Tonks I could have hurt you." He saw pain flicker in her eyes and tried not to think about the horrible words that had come from his mouth. "I could have physically hurt you." He said, but he realized that it would have been preferable to her if the wounds he inflicted were physical. Hard as she tried he knew she had a fragile heart. He knew his words were ripping it apart, even though he'd meant none of them. "According to what I've read it'll only get worse. Harder to control. And I can't imagine anything being harder to reign in than that." He didn't want to think about the anger he had just felt.
"So it is different." James said, taking that moment to walk in. His tone was no accusatory. It could have been, Remus knew, but it wasn't. He was concerned.
"Once in a lifetime. If you're lucky." The bitter tone fell into his voice, and he saw Tonks' eyes cringe just slightly when she heard it.
"Once in a blue moon, if you will." She muttered. He couldn't help but crack a smile, working to break some of the tension.
"But really, what do we do?" Sirius said, standing behind James. Lily walked in last, her expression sad. He knew she'd read about this. He knew she would agree with him.
"Lily?" He asked her, she shook her head. "Lily, you know what we have to do." He said. "I cannot beat this." She shook her head again, red hair flying around her face.
"You can." Her voice shook. She was unsure and everyone knew it. James looked from her to Remus before understanding.
"The best advice out there is really to lock you up? Before the moon even comes?" James was incredulous, it never failed to surprise Remus how much his friends actually cared for him.
"Can you explain it to us idiots?" Sirius said, not having any idea what was happening. Ily huffed impatiently, setting her hand on her hip as she often did she was annoyed.
"The red moon is a dark moon that comes every forty-eight years. It rises early, but no one knows exactly when, so the transformation is much slower, harder to trace and…" She looked at Remus sadly, "Much more painful. Symptoms that impact those who change are bouts of undeterrable anger, exhaustion beyond normal, change in appetite, emotional numbness, and some other things." He swore he saw her blush but couldn't remember anything else that would be hard for her to say. " The best advice is to prepare for the fullmoon up to two days before, but it is said that you will know when things get out of hand because physical transformation will begin slowly, even if the mind doesn't change right away." He shuddered at the thought of being partially wolf, with still his human mind. Would he know he was changing? Would the pain knock him out?
"You're forgetting the most important part." He said, realizing again he let the anger slide into his tone. Lily glared at him for a moment.
"Wolfsbane won't help as much as normal. It's unknown whether it even helps at all." She hardened her eyes. "You're still going to take it." It was an order, not a request. He nodded. There was no point in arguing, she would win in the end anyway.
"The moon is in two days-" James began before Remus cut him off.
"One and a half. And clearly I'm a bit dangerous to have walking about." He gestured wildly to the two holes he had hit into the wall. Is three friends had nothing to say to that. He tried not to let their silence hurt. He knew it was best.
Tonks tightened her arms around his side as he tried to stand up. He'd nearly forgotten she was there.
"Tonks," He began, sliding himself out from her grip so he could look at her. "Take Lily, and you two go to your flat, okay? James and Sirius will call you when it's all clear." She shook her head and opened her mouth to protest. His defeated sigh cut off her words. "Nymphadora." She worked to mask a cringe as she remembered the way he'd last said her name, but he caught the front of it. "Please. Just this once, can we do this my way? I have no way to know what's going to happen. Right now I'm not even sure I want Padfoot and Prongs with me." She saw the fear in his eyes. He hated admitting to fear. Gryffindor pride.
She waited a long moment, before slowly standing up, nodding. "Alright." She conceded to his wishes, walking over to stand by Lily. "We'll leave after dinner." Remus's fists clenched and he closed his eyes against the frustration that was boiling again.
He felt James watching him, but said nothing.
"Tonks I think it's best if you go now." Do you now? Rage was filling Remus again even though he rationally knew that everything James was thinking was right. He knows you're dangerous. He cares more about his wife than you. He care more about Tonks than you. He opened his eyes to see his two friends staring at him. He had to calm down.
"Basement." He uttered the word. "Tonks, you need to leave." He knew his voice was dark. It was both a way to mask the fury of the wolf and the worry he felt for the two women he loved most.
Lily grabbed Tonks hand, and slowly they trudged to the door. Remus fought with himself for one moment before rashly calling. "Dora." Much to everyone's surprise his voice was soft. She turned slowly, grabbing him with her huge grey owl eyes.
"I…" He had never said I love you to her in front of anyone else. He realized how big of a step this would be. He wasn't sure if they were ready for that.
She winked, as if reading his mind. "I'll stay safe Remus. Don't worry. You will too. Take the potion." James fought a smirk from next to him, never failing to be surprised at how well the young witch handled all of Remus's antics. Lily shook her head with a chuckle, and the two women disapparated from the hallway.
Remus looked at his two friends, his face hiding the remaining traces of a blush that had crept up on him as Tonks left. He then turned serious. "I mean it guys, basement. We gotta go." Without words they walked down all the steps, helping Remus down as his body protested the motion and physical strain.
This would be fun.
So I'm not sure how people are feeling with this, I'd love some reviews or messages with thoughts on how you think of it. I also love knowing who's reading what I write, so please please please review!
until next time, ~Bea