This is a bit of a shorter one, but I finally have the remaining chapters written and edited! There should be about 4-6 more depending on if I keep what i have or add to it, which is always an option and the reason I take so long to post anything! Please please please let me know what you think!
He woke early the next morning, slipping out of their bedroom, without waking Tonks. He walked silently into the kitchen, where James sat alone at the table reading through the prophet, sipping a cup of tea.
"You're up early." Remus commented, who was searching for his wand in his pocket before simply deciding to make the coffee with his hands.
"I could say the same to you. Remus," James added, dropping the paper, "You're honestly one of the most talented wizards I've ever met, I know you have Magis Imperium, why don't you just do wandless?" Remus felt his eyes jump to the room where Tonks was laying, James followed the motion.
"Sure Moony, you may not have told her, but she knows. Anyone who watched you duel knows." Remus, unsure of what to say waved his hand over the mug watching as it set itself next to the coffee pot. With a few more silent motions the coffee was grinding, and the pot brewing.
"Lily hears you're going to meet the parents today?" James asked, picking the paper up and folding it before setting it back on the table. "How are you feeling about that?" Ignoring the question Remus looked at his oldest friend.
"James, do you realize how mad it is that we are sitting here talking about this?" He asked his friend, rubbing stressed hands over his face. "I mean, we are talking as if there's no war, as if I didn't spend years thinking you were dead, as if the whole world didn't think you were dead." He shook his head. "It's mad."
James chuckled lightly, shaking his own head, hearing a door creak open down the hall. "It is mate, it is." Then without turning he said " 'Morning Harry." Just as the young boy shuffled into the kitchen, pushing his glasses up on his face.
"Hey dad, hey Remus." He dropped into a chair, glancing at the paper skeptically. "Mum and Tonks still sleeping?" He asked, pushing the paper onto the floor eliciting quiet laughter from the two men.
"Oh yes, those ladies need their beauty rest." James said, standing and opening the fridge. "What do you say we go and get them some breakfast, yeah Harry?" James asked, turning to face his son who jumped up.
"Yeah. I'll go change." Remus stood, as Harry rushed from the room, and poured himself a mug of coffee.
"It's all mad." James muttered, smiling after his son. "But I wouldn't change it for anything, not anything in the whole world." Remus felt himself smiling, as familiar thin arms wrapped their way around his neck.
"Me either." he said to James. "Not for anything."
Several creme donuts and coffee pots later Tonks and Remus were standing at the front door, cloaks in hand ready to go to dinner.
"Have fun, stay safe, don't say anything weird. Remind them that you love her. Don't be all mopy. Have fun-"
"You said that already, Lils." Remus smiled at the duo waving them off from the door. "And send notice when you leave the burrow." James added, looking at Harry as they said it. He nodded running over and giving his parents one last hug before Tonks finally got them all out of the door.
"You'd think we were rushing into battle, not going to the Weasley's and my mum's house." She joked as they walked to their private apparation point, where they disappeared on the spot, ending back at the burrow front porch where Harry rushed in without knocking.
"I love this." They heard Ron exclaim as they followed behind him, causing Tonks to laugh as she set her head on Remus's shoulder. Harry began exclamation points on excitement as they rushed up the steps into his bedroom.
"Molly!" Tonks finally called as they stood in the kitchen waiting. "We dropped Harry, we're off to my mum's for tea, alright?"
The Weasley matriarch appeared behind them, "Hello Tonks, Remus." She hugged them each respectively, patting the cheek of the former. "Off to the parents for tea, they must be excited to see you finally." She added, setting down the large basket she was holding.
"Yeah, it's hard, though, to keep them in the dark." Tonks said, offering an awkward smile. Molly nodded understanding written on her face.
"It's safer this way." She said softly, "You two best be off, send a word when you're on your way back for him, or if he wants to just stay here, you know the kids won't mind." And with that she picked the basket back and journeyed back into the kitchen, allowing Tonks and Remus to let themselves out quietly. They stood on the front steps for a moment, before she sidelonged them to her parents.
She stood next to him quietly for a moment before she tugged on his shirtsleeve. "Hey Remus?" He looked down at her, smiling to himself at how short she was compared to him. "I just wanted you to know…" She looked down uncertainty, uncharacteristically nervous. "I love you." She finally said, "Okay?"
His eyes widened. "Okay." She said back, smiling confidently again. She threw the front door open.
"Mum!" She shouted, dropping her brown leather bag onto the floor and slipping off her shoes. "Daaad!" She shouted louder, which caused Remus to acknowledge the size of the house no where near warranted the level of her voice.
"Remus and I are at the front door!" He followed her shoe removing lead, slipping off her jacket for her and hanging it on the coat rack by the door, doing the same with his own. Tonks waited expectantly for a reply.
"Oh bugger." She huffed, heaving in a deep breath Remus clamped a hand over her mouth, ignoring her glare.
"Why don't we walk in and find them?" He suggested, setting a hand on her back and pushing her toward the kitchen where he was certain he heard voices. Two heads snapped up upon their entrance through the doorway. Remus choked on his breath as he took in Tonk's mother, a nearly spitting image of Bellatrix herself. Everything in him screamed to protect Tonks, and he fought his brain for a moment, as Mr. Tonks stood up.
"Dora," He said with a smiled, enveloping his daughter in a hug.
"Oh Nymphadora's here?' Andromeda asked, giving Remus a quick smiled. "We didn't even hear you come in." She added dryly, shooting her daughter a look, and getting a poorly concealed chuckle from Lupin.
"You must be Remus!" Ted exclaimed, grabbing Lupin's hand in his own and shaking it firmly. "Ted Tonks, pleased to finally meet you." He said, Remus nodded at the man, failing to find his voice. He wondered if the Tonks's knew about him. If they could tell by looking at him.
Tonks hugged her mom, getting a swat on the head for shouting. Andromeda then turned to Remus.
"Andromeda Tonks." She said shaking his hand formally, handing him another warm smile that made her look much more like Molly Weasley than her evil murderous sister. Remus stared at her a beat too long looking for differences between her. Tonks walked over to him slowly. "Sorry mum," She began, setting a hand on his arm, "I forgot to warn Remus here, and you know I love you but the resemblance you hold to your family is really terrifying." Andromeda nodded with a sad smile.
"He's in the resistance too then?" Mrs. Tonks asked. Remus glanced at Tonks who simply nodded at her mother.
"It's how we met." She said, pulling Remus to a seat and sitting next to him.
"How… so like you." Andromeda said, the words having the potential to sound bitter, but actually come out as more of a laugh, albeit a bit of a broken sound. This is very much what the figured Tonks's parents to be sat in tight silence for a few minutes before Tonks rolled her eyes and looked over to her mother.
"Alright Mum?" She asked, knowing the answer. Before Andy could lie to her Tonks said, "Out with it, we haven't got all day and you need answers I supposed."
"Are you two married now? Did you run off and marry some man whom we've never even met- No offense Remus, you do seem lovely." She added, patting his arm. "You don't owl for months, we know you're part of this secret organisation, Mad-Eye has to be the one to tell us you're in the hospital but he can't tell us why!" She let out an angry huff, before Ted set a soft hand on her shoulder.
"We're not married Mum, I don't hate you, I want you to see me get married. He is lovely, so lovely. And things have been crazy… I can't even begin to tell you how much I wish I could tell you everything, how much I wish I could run through the door after a long day and tell you everything." She sniffed once, nodding as Remus set a hand on her arm, knowing she was thinking of Sirius.
"But Mum, I'm not your little girl anymore. And this isn't Hogwarts. You can't stop the bad guys from coming after me, and you can't know everything or they'll come after you. Maybe it's my turn to protect you now." Remus had never imagine how hard it was for her to hide all these things from her family, this was his glimpse in to the pain she was feeling.
"Dora, you know why we can't join in any anti government groups, but you know that any way we can help we will. That is our role, honey." Ted shook his head, "We want to know you will come home alive." Tonks nodded at her dad, as Andy wiped at her face once.
"I love you, guys, you know that. And one day I'll get to tell you all the crazy, but until then, let's sit and drink tea, and listen to Remus tell crazy stories and laugh all together because, well honestly because Remus and I are fighting on the front lines of this war, and I can't promise you everything will be okay. But I can promise you I'll visit more, and I can promise that right now I want nothing more than to sit and introduce you to this man who has, for lack of something better, changed, and probably saved my life in many ways."
Ted Tonks glanced Remus over slowly, Tonks sat by, silently watching her father.
"You live together?" He asked, his tone still gentler than Remus would have initially figured it to be.
"Yes sir." Remus spoke for the first time, looking Mr. Tonks in the eyes. "We live with two friends of mine from my school days, it seemed the best way to stay safe, and save money." Ted continued nodding, Remus hoped it was a sign of approval.
"Why muggle London?" Andy asked, glancing at Tonks this time, as if she knew Remus wouldn't want to provide the answer. Tonks glanced over to him fro the corner of her eyes, and she saw him give her one gentle nod. They had to know.
"Remus-" He set a hand on her arm.
"If I may, Dora?" A smile pulled across her face despite the conversation and she nodded eagerly.
"Although I assume the two of you were already able to perceive there is something unusual about me, I-" He too kin a steady breath. "I suffer from lycanthropy." It felt wrong to just say it out loud as if it were chronic dragon poks or something. He watched her parents eyes widen.
"Living in muggle London keeps us away from prying eyes, and angry wizards who think he is a danger to society." Tonks supplied looking at her parents faces, both in masks of confusion.
Ted looked at Tonks, opening and closing his mouth once before shaking his head. "You read in books, fairy tales and academic alike, that werewolves are dark and dangerous, out to attack any muggle or wizard who gets too close. In school Sirius had a friend he told us about once, a man who suffered as you do, Remus." Tonks reached out and gripped his hand squeezing tightly.
"He told us about this friend who defied every truth known to wizard-kind about lycanthropes. And I'll be honest we didn't believe him for a while. But every time he came he shared about his friends, never telling us their names, only these odd nicknames they all made up- but that's not the point. The point is, you have shown me he must have been speaking truth. And if there is anything Andy and I know, it's that you cannot judge a book by it's cover, it's illness, it's blood-status, or it's differences." He glanced at his daughter and smiled as he spoke the final words.
"That doesn't mean that this feels totally safe and normal." Andy added, patting her husband on the arm, "But we have to trust you." Remus let out a deep heavy sigh he hadn't even realized he was holding in, as Tonks laughed a joyful sound.
Ted and Andromeda joined in, and soon the tense silence that opened the evening was all but forgotten as tea was sipped, cakes were enjoyed and stories were shared.
Later that evening Remus and Tonks arrived back at their flat, Harry in tow behind them, telling his former professor all about his day at the Weasley's. Remus thought back to a time where such animation from the boy, and such a conversation wouldn't even have been possible. Tonks slipped her hand in his as they walked up the steps to their front door, and pushed it open.
James and Lily were sat on the couch, flipping through the photo album Hagrid gave to Harry his first year of school. Harry walked slowly over to them, sitting next to Lily and looking over her shoulder as the photos went by. Tonks nudged Remus over to the couch as well, walking back to their bedroom so she could get the cloak for her guard duty with Kingsley later on in the evening. She bounced around the room, changing into more comfortable clothing, humming a song she has been listening to earlier in the week while doing her paperwork.
She didn't even notice James walk to the door until her shoe caught on the bed frame and his hands shot out to try and catch her.
"Oh!" She cried as she pulled into the ground with her.
"How the hell does Remus make it look so easy?" He asked her, pushign himself up and offering her a hand. She laughed, morphing away her blush as she did so.
"He's probably had a lot more practice. Sorry about that." She brushed lint off her leg. "Did you need something?" She asked, walking over to the mirror so she could work on her hair for the night.
"I wanted to ask you before I said anything to Remus, but it went alright with your parents?" She smiled over at him, wondering how Remus got so lucky with such an amazing friend, and nodded.
"I was nervous, honestly, but I would never tell him that. Mum had a bit more of an issue with everything than Dad, but I could have told you that would have been the case. But they were both willing to hear us out and understand that the times are changing and Remus is for me now. And Lycanthropy or none he is who I want to be with.
Remus suddenly appeared behind James, a smile plastered on his face. "You said as much to them too, Dora. There's no way they could have been anything but supportive with the subtle threat of you leaving hanging over their heads. You're their only daughter They want to know that you're safe and-"
"Now they know." She cut him off from what had the potential to be a long triade about how their relationship wasn't the safest thing for her. James hid a snigger in his hand as Remus rolled his eyes slightly.
"Anywho, lovely chatting with you boys but Kingsley is going to be here any minute and I have to-" A knock at the door cut her off, and she let out a huff.
"Can you open that for me Lily! It's King, I'm running late!" No sooner had she shouted than the man was standing in the doorway next to Remus.
"You? Late? I don't believe it." Remus turned with a laugh to shake his friends hand as Tonks began to move on overdrive, tripping over every flat and other surface in the room.
"Don't hurt yourself Tonks, we have some important work tonight, we can't have you broken before we even begin." A flash of the woman's eyes and curious peak from Remus caused Kingsley to snap his mouth shut.
"I thought this was just a guard duty at Privet Drive?" He asked the pink haired woman accusingly. "Those aren't usually dangerous at all. Have we gotten any tips lately?" He asked her. She shook her head.
"No. But you know King, always on guard. He could put Mad-eye to shame with his constant vigilance, couldn't you King? But anywho there's nothing to worry about Remus, just boring old guard duty for a boring old witch and wizard who needed a good night of boring work and-"
"Is that Lily? Calling us?" James cut off her nervous ranting, placing a hand on Kingsley's shoulder and pushing him from the room. Remus's look caused Tonks to wilt slightly.
"For an auror you make a pretty rough liar."
"Only to you. Anyone else I would have been fine." He was thankful she didn't try to cover up her untruth even more.
"What are you doing tonight?" He asked her, setting a hand on her cheek.
"Trailing people." She shrugged, looking down.
"Trailing who... ?" He asked, not liking the way she wasn't giving him the information. "Tonks, you're not trailing-"
"I'll be fine Remus." She said indignantly, bringing her eyes up to his firmly. "Please trust me everything will be-" He planted his hands on her hips and lifted her up the several inches separating them, pushing his lips to hers with more force than he intended. SHe responded in kind, lifting her legs up and wrapping them around his waist. His arms were pulling her closer to him as he carried her over to their bed where he set her down and finally pulled away a few long minutes later.
"Come back home." He whispered, pulling her up and leading her out of the room. Kingsley stood at the doorway of the house talking to Harry about the start of the term in the later months. He glanced up when the pair walked in.
"Alright Tonks?" He asked her, although he was looking at Remus as he did. Both nodded. "I'll have her back by morning, all clear." He said. Tonks pushed the door open tossing a parting wave over her shoulder as she did.
"Trailing Bellatrix?" James hissed in Remus's ear, who barely suppressed a shudder as he nodded. "I don't like that." James said, looking at the door as if he was about to chase down the pair and demand they come back inside.
"Nor do I." Remus said, "But there's nothing we can do. It has to be done, and that's the end of it." James knew to drop the conversation there even if there was still more that could be said.
He walked into the kitchen where Lily and Harry stood at the counter talking about a trip to diagon alley for books while Lily had the kitchen in motion around him making coffee and cakes. James stood behind her, pulling her hair from har shoulders as Harry spoke about his hopeful plans, Lily nodding along in encouraging agreement.
"Coffee?" James asked after a moment.
"We won't be getting much sleep tonight." She whispered back, glancing at Remus who walked in to join them.
James nodded, suggesting Harry go get the Wizards chess board from their room. He went off with a smile, hiding the concern he was feeling along with everyone else.
Much to the relief of all in the small flat Tonks and Kingsley returned home early the next morning with nothing but good news. Well not good news at all, but positive new in regards to the success of their mission. The true news sent them both rushing back out the door almost as soon as they checked in, due to the demands they knew were going to rise within the auror office. Both claimed to be unsure what the panic was for, but by the looks on their faces Remus grew steadily sure it had a lot to do with werewolves. James watched his friend cautiously for the day, unsure if it was ever the right time to say something about the lack of news from their friends. The time never came though, and soon it was well past dinner with no word. Lily was aking feeble attempts to be encouraging, but was slowly running out of good things to say when a silvery wolf bound into the room.
"Dumbledore is calling a meeting at the burrow, starting immediately." Tonks voice spoke into the room before the animal disappeared in a shimmer. The three Potter's and Remus wasted no time gathering everything they thought they would need and rushing to the fireplace so they could floo over. As usual Remus stumbled slightly upon landing at the Burrow, but he composed himself quickly and began searching the faces for Tonk's familiar grey eyes. James, Lily, and Harry came in behind him also seeming to search for the witch who they hoped would have some answers. But Dumbledore and Mad-Eye arrived, and the meeting began. Two empty seats remained where Tonks and Kingsley should have been sitting. Neither man made mention of the missing members, and Remus barely heard a world of the introduction until he felt a quiet chill settle over the room. He looked up, locking eyes with Albus before finally hearing what the issue was.
"We need to infiltrate again. Before the ministry sets the law in place. We need to find people who will stand with us, who will show the ministry that lycanthropy is an illness, not a choice." Remus simply stared at the man, unsure of what he was to do in the situation. He nodded when he felt like he was supposed to and tried not to glance at what he knew to be the faces of pity surrounding him. He should have seen this coming really, but he let himself get happy. Get comfortable. And this is what he was paying for it.
But no. No. You're best friends didn't all die. His conscious argument began. You are allowed to be happy. You are allowed to say no to this. But somewhere inside of himself he knew he wasn't. He knew this was the only thing he could do.
This was his role to play, a card handed to him against his will, and he would be damned if he let everyone down because he played it wrong. The meeting was suddenly over and he saw Moody and Albus walking towards him, he felt the warry glances of James and Lily.
"... If there was any other way Remus…" He continued to nod along to the white haired man he respected so much. He was steeling his nerves against emotions. "... as soon as you can would be best, for as long as you think. We don't want you dying or getting hurt out there…" Moody watched him with both eyes, an intense stare that was almost as distracting as his personal thoughts, and the wonderings of where the woman he loved was. Dumbledore was walking away almost as quickly as he came to Remus, and he was then looking right into Mad-Eyes eyes.
"You don't have to do this." The man said to Remus. Lupin only shook his head in response. He did, and he knew it. "She told me you'd say that." Moody said with a shake of his head.
"Don't get stupid, boy. You don't deserve the card you've been dealt. Don't live in it when you don't have to." Again Remus decided no reply was better than whatever he had been thinking to say.
Alastor put a hand on his shoulder and stomped away. He felt the feather light touch of lily's hands on his shoulder and she pushed him toward to fireplace. James was standing away from them talking to Harry.
"We're flooing back, James will be right behind."
"No, Lily, we have to find-"
"She's home Remus." Lily said softly, and the tone made him understand that she already knew exactly what they spoke about at the meeting.
"I'll meet you there. Quickly." Lily said throwing the powder into the fire and stating their home. Remus followed barely a second behind her, just as James hugged Harry and rushed over to get home too. Remus fell out of the fireplace, tripping to his knees and sliding on the floor slightly. He brought his hands to his face as he rested on his knees, forcing his heart to slow down. He couldn't do it, not again.
He felt his hands shaking against his eyes, which were stinging with tears he had no reason to be shedding. This was his job. This was his card. His head was pounding with stress, anger, concern, bitterness. Anything he could be feelin against what he had to do he was feeling. His stomach was churning as he wondered how long he would have to go for. As he wondered who would die while he was gone.
As he wondered what Tonks would have to say. He gasped in a choking breath as he thought of her. Pink hair, grey eyes, small fingers. Her laugh, her crinkly smile, her face.
He dropped his hands from his face opening his eyes slowly. Lily was standing a few feet away watching him cautiously. He shook his head at her, his focus coming to rest on the woman he was looking for, legs tucked up on the couch, watching him with fear in her eyes. He locked eyes with her, and suddenly she jumped up and rushed over to him. He caught her in a swift motion, not even turning as he heard someone else step out from the floo. He held her in his arms, letting her cry into him.
This was his mission. This was his card.
"I'm still here." He found himself whispering to her slowly as she began to cry gently into his chest. He held onto her tightly, as her pleading whispers for him to stay reached his ears. He couldn't bring himself to say anything else, so he simply continued to remind her that in that moment she had him. Even then he knew that wouldn't be enough. It couldn't be enough; not in the middle of a war.
The next morning, after a tear filled, shaky sleep Remus rolled over looking for the familiar flash of pink hair that was next to him. It wasn't there. A jolt in his heart caused him to sit up, before he heard the sound of running water, and the humming that told him Tonks was simply cleaning off. He pushed out of bed anyway and walked into the kitchen, catching a note on the table that informed him James and Lily were at the Burrow with Harry. They had the house to themselves. He hesitated for a moment, reminding himself that the full moon was in a few short days and he was feeling everything in stronger form, but he knew Tonks would need this almost as much as he did. He set down the toast he was preparing to make and slowly walked over to the washroom door, pushing it open without knocking.
"Dora?" He called in, eyes looking down in case she was in a place where he shouldn't see her.
"Remus?" She asked back, pushing the wash curtain aside and sticking her head out. Pink hair was plastered to her face, as water dripped down it. He took in a slow, calming breath at the sight of her.
"Are you okay, Tonks?" He asked her, pushing himself further into the room and drinking in the look on her face. She looked at him in silence a moment too long, and shook her head.
"I took off work today." She said, still just her head poking out as he sat on the toilet seat. He shot her a look.
"And on Friday?" He asked her, knowing she requested off for the full moon, trying not to think about how much that meant to him. She just shook her head, pulling back into the shower so he could no longer see her. He considered joining her, before sliding down against the wall, content with just being nearer to her. The only sound that filled the room for a very long time was the rushing of the water as it poured out from the shower head. He waited, knowing there would either be a startling silence when she was done, or a mild fury that had potential to turn into a hurricane in their kitchen. So he waited. Her small hand stuck out from behind the curtain as the water shut off, she pulled a fluffy brown towel in with her before tossing back the curtain completely. Pink hair dripping down her face, wrapped in the towel she carefully stepped out, still managing to slip. Remus jumped up and grabbed her wrist, steadying her against himself. He ignored the water he felt soaking into his shirt focusing instead on the scent of mint and vanilla that always followed Dora's showers.
Remus took a breath to speak but Dora was faster. "Don't say anything. Not yet. Please." He nodded, settling with pulling her closer to him and leaning against the wall. She turned her face into his chest taking deep slow breaths as she did.
Finally she spoke again, "I know you have to do this, I understand that. I know it's not like last time. I know we'll still have each other. But please," she pulled away to look up at him. "Please don't be stupid, please remember that I will be waiting for you, for as long as I have to." He watched her eyes fill with tears that she wouldn't shed. "But above all that, whatever you do, please only promise things you know you can keep." There weren't words left for the moment, he simply leaned down and kissed her slowly, wondering why it felt like they were already saying goodbye. Wondering if that's what was happening. He held her slowly, unsure of what would come next, unsure of what she expected him to do, unsure of how they were supposed to move forward.
Friday came quickly, tension in the small apartment rising as it did. The June full moon was here, and Remus made the decision that morning to not go undercover with the wolves until after Harry's birthday at least, possibly even waiting until the kids went back to school. Tonks seemed excited for his decision, while Lily reminded him that if he was truly committed to go he couldn't keep delaying the inevitable.
"How're you feeling?" Tonks asked, lazily brushing her fingers through his hair laying next to him in their bed. He sighed, but it sounded more like a huff or groan when it came out. She chuckled softly next to him, pushing over to kiss his cheek.
He groaned again, pushing himself up to try and give her a fuller kiss; she she slapped his arm lightly. "No physical -er- things on full moon day." She whispered, teasing him to a dangerous degree. It was a rule he set, knowing it wasn't fair to her for him to give into the desires that arose while his body prepared for the transformation. He bit his tongue as his mind argued to take back the rule. He closed his eyes, trying to pretend she wasn't there, which she wasn't having any of. She set her hand on his stomach, just above his waistline causing his heart rate to jump. He cracked one eyes just wide enough to shoot her what he hoped was a withering glare before pushing himself out of the bed.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Don't be like that," she got up walking beside him. "Get back there you don't have the-" She tripped on her way over to him, catching the bedpost with her shoulder as she did so, crashing into him. In his tired pre-transformation state he wasn't nearly as prepared to catch her as he normally was and she landed with him on the ground with a resounding thud. He winced, before breathing in her scent and giving over to laughter at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. He felt her own laughs on top of him, and he swiftly wrapped his hands around her before rolling them over on the ground so he was facing her.
"You just can't stay away can you Dora?" He asked her, winking.
"Moon day makes you happier sometimes." She said leaning in to kiss him quickly on the lips, pulling away with a smirk. He shook his head before his face fell slightly.
"It's almost time, love." He said, pushing himself up and standing next to her. She nodded quietly walking toward the door and pushing it open. They walked down the hall into the living room together where James, Lily and Harry were sitting. James stood when they walked in.
"Alright Moony?" He asked his friend setting a steadying hand on his shoulder. Remus gave an unconvincing nod smiling at Lily and Harry before dropping into the chair. "We'll apparate over in fifteen minutes, sound good?" Remus nodded again, letting his eyes slip closed as he sat. Harry watched him warily for a moment before pulling a book off the end table and beginning to read. Tonks sat next to Lily, tucking her legs in and setting her head on her friend's shoulder. Lily responded in kind, and began to brush her fingers slowly through Tonks's hair just as she had done to Remus minutes earlier.
Fifteen minutes ticked by far faster than normal, and soon James was pulling Remus to his feet, bidding their partners goodbye. Remus let Tonks pull him into a tight hug, resting her head on his shoulder for a pause. He kissed her pink hair, rubbing a hand on her back; a gesture that looked as if it was to comfort her, when really it was for his sake.
A long night of waiting around resulted in two women and a young boy falling asleep in the living room , not even noticing when the two men they were waiting for walked tiredly through the front door. James smiled at the sight of Lily and Tonks laying on the floor close together, Harry asleep on the couch above them. Remus shook his head, quietly stretching out his tired muscles.
"Does this mean we have to snuggle too?" James asked his friend, setting a hand on his shoulder firmly. Remus nodded solemnly, before chuckling to himself and walking into the kitchen.
"I think it's in our best interest to make some coffee and stay awake for as long as possible." Remus said, knowing James was right behind him.
"Just like old times…" James said softly.
"Except-"
"Yeah." The missing links were left unmentioned as Remus made his coffee the muggle way, pulling out some muffins Lily baked and charming them warm. There were sounds of motion coming from the living room as James poured the coffee for the two of them. Lily walked in the room, smilin at her two friends before her, walking over and kissing Remus on the cheek before setting herself in James's lap.
"How was your night?" She asked them, laying her head on his shoulder and taking his mug out of his hand with a wink toward Remus.
"Really, really not bad." Remus said, clearly meaning every word. She smiled, a joyful look that lit up her whole tired face. Her smile changed slightly as she shifted so she could look at James.
"How was it… without them?" She asked slowly, as if knowing it would be too difficult to answer. James blinked slowly, taking a steadying breath.
"Very hard." Remus whispered, shaking his head. "It's just hard." James nodded his agreement.
"I think about the first time we all went out together. We never thought… I mean we felt invincible, you know? And now it's Moony and I, and it'll only ever be the two of us again. And that's really hard to think about. That no matter what we do, it'll only be just us." James shook his head, looking a lot like Harry.
"When we were hiding," He looked at Remus for a moment, "We knew the truth. We knew how the secret keeper was, but there was nothing we could do. Every possible outcome made things worse, we tried it. Old magic." Remus nodded his understanding.
"But we knew. I had hope that it would at least be the three of us. Like after we graduated, when we lived in that dingy flat above hogs head and Lily, Juna, and Ellie lived together?" Remus nodded, thinking back to the easy days. Sirius's girlfriend and Remus love interest. The two girls were killed the day after the Potter wedding, the day after Remus finally asked her on a date. "I thought we could try and get his name cleared, and we could be happy enough again." Remus watched his friends eyes fill with tears wondering if James even knew it was happening.
" I knew with Ellie and Juna… It would be hard. But I never imagined… I... it's Padfoot. I didn't think… I didn't say goodbye…" Lily pulled his forehead down to hers, Remus looked away, catching sight of Tonks standing in the doorway, one small tear track running down her face.
"Oh Dora," he whispered, pushing himself up and walking over to her, not even feeling his own tears on his face. She caught his face his her hands, huge grey eyes watery and round. He felt her thumb rub his cheek, felt the tear push away. He leaned down to kiss her, breathing in her scent.
"Hey Tonks, didn't know you were up." Lily called over to them after a minute, causing them to pull apart. Four watery eyes met, four silent cries for someone they all loved too much to simply let go the way they were trying to. The pain filled silence filled the room with each lost in their own thoughts, eyes finally starting to dry. Remus leaned down and set a kiss on Tonk's pink hair, slipping his hand in hers and pulling her to the counter. He kissed her again, smiling to himself at her small chuckle, pouring another mug of coffee for her.