So hi guys. I posted this chapter once already but then I went back in to fix some mistakes and somehow deleted it without realising. Anyway, it's back now. I hope you like it.
Chapter Forty: Something Stupid (It's all for you).
"Good morning, Finn, how are you on this beautiful November morning?"
Confused laughter trickled down the phone-line. "It's pouring down outside!"
Rachel turned away from the view of low, grey clouds and sheets of falling rain with a silent sigh. "It's what's on the inside that counts!"
Despite her buoyant words, she wouldn't be singing in the rain today.
"I'm . . . crapping it actually," he admitted, and she heard a door closing in his house. "Quinn needs that money after school and . . ." Now she heard a heavy thud.
She didn't ask what he'd just kicked. "That's actually why I was calling. You said you were collecting your wages this morning?"
"Yeah, I'm about to leave now. I'm thinking of using them to skip town, because Quinn's gonna murder me when she realizes it's not even close to what we need." His voice wobbled until he cleared his throat. "Why?"
Rachel traced the bank's name on the little blue book waiting on her desk. "I thought you might like someone to come with you, as moral support, and I am in need of a ride to school," she added. It wasn't true, but she'd decided before calling that offering a selfish motive was the least likely way to arouse his suspicions. "As you pointed out, the weather is far too frightful to walk all that way in this morning."
"Um, yeah, okay. I'll pick you up in ten."
"Thank you, Finn."
She tapped the book a few times and then stowed it in the front pocket of her bag. Her Dads obviously didn't know what she was planning, but she felt no guilt. They wouldn't be very happy to find that she had taken all of her savings out, whatever her reasons, but it was her money, and she wasn't using it to spend time with Quinn, so it wasn't like she was going against their instructions or anything.
To her surprise both of her parents were still in the kitchen when she went down. Her Dad had normally left for work by now.
"We've been talking," he said, handing her a glass of tropical juice as soon as she entered. "If you want to take today off, you can."
"Just today, mind," her Daddy said. "But we thought it might be good for you to have an extended weekend to . . . um . . ."
"Process," her dad finished.
She gave them both her best smile. "Don't be silly! I'm perfectly fine now. Last night was just . . . Quinn's texts upset me, but it's not like we've ever been that close anyway."
"Baby-girl, yesterday you said she was your best friend."
"That's because she was my only friend," she saw the distraught looks on their faces and hurried on, she hadn't meant to make them feel bad. "My only girlf . . . female friend. And when you start with nothing even someone who won't acknowledge you in school and finds you irritating half of the time is a better alternative."
"We're just trying to keep you safe, Rach. You understand that, right?"
She nodded at her dad, "Of course! Honestly, it's not as big a deal as I made it out to be last night. Please don't worry about me."
"Never gonna stop doing that," her Daddy rose from his chair and Rachel was engulfed in a family hug.
A car horn sounded three times from the front of the house and Rachel realized her ten minutes were up. Extricating her way out of the hug, she set her juice untouched on the kitchen table and picked up her bag.
"Who's picking you up?" her Daddy asked, instantly suspicious. He went to peer out of the side kitchen window as if he'd be able to see the road from there.
"It's not Quinn!" she rolled her eyes, adding in a mutter, "Quinn would never honk from the road, she always came to the front door."
"Heard that," her dad replied, mimicking her mutter as he picked up her daddy's discarded newspaper.
She didn't care.
"It's Finn. He needed my help with something this morning and offered me a ride as a thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me."
Her Dads watched her run out of the kitchen and up the hall to the front door, shouting a quick "Bye!" as the door closed behind her.
"So, Finn's back on the scene," Hiram sighed, leaning against the counter with his 'World's Best Dad' coffee mug in his hand.
"Think she's using him to keep close to Quinn without actually going behind our backs?" LeRoy asked, not looking up from the paper.
"Probably." He drummed his fingers on the side of the mug. "I'm not sure what we do about this. Keeping her away is the safe thing but . . . I don't want to scar her forever by keeping her away from her 'only friend'. Shit, Lee, how long has she waited for this? How hard have we tried to make it happen? All those clubs we encouraged her to join, and she never connected with a single person like she has . . . now."
LeRoy turned around in his seat, "And now she has with the last person we could have wanted?"
Hiram nodded. "Quinn seems like . . ." he paused to think of the best way to explain his opinion of the girl. ". . . well, exactly like Russell was before his family turned him into an asshole."
"Do you think this is history repeating itself?"
"No, because Russ was never more than a team mate to me, but I can't shake the feeling that there is more to those girls than they are admitting."
"Really? Your Gaydar has always been terrible."
"Just a hunch," Hiram shrugged, fingers tapping out a rhythm on his mug again. "Are we being monstrous parents by keeping them apart?"
"Of course not. Rachel's safety is our top priority and Fabray is an asshole."
"And if it blows up in our faces? What do we do then?"
LeRoy smiled, "What we've done since the second that precious, precocious little baby was placed in your arms, Honey. Fly by the seat of our pants and pray it all works out okay in the end."
Across town Quinn was putting on a brave face – it involved a lot of concealer and eyeshadow to mask the bags under her red eyes; and a smile that could cut steel.
"Good morning," she said cheerfully as she entered the kitchen.
Her Dad returned the greeting and the smile, but it didn't reach his eyes for the first time that Quinn could ever remember, and it pierced another hole in her already weeping heart. Her Mom merely nodded and didn't even look up from her coffee cup – another fun morning in the Fabray family home!
Quinn had made a decision at four 'o' clock that morning and now she determinedly braced her hands on the back of a kitchen chair. "Okay, I'd like to talk about this."
"You're going to be late for school, Quinnie."
"No, I have time, Mom." She took a deep breath. "I know my behaviour recently hasn't been what you expect. I've made certain friends that you don't feel are healthy for me."
That got her mom's undivided attention and she looked to her sharply, "Quinn, we've already talked about this!"
"We have, which is why I need to say this." Her Dad was shifting uncomfortably in his chair, setting his coffee cup down and glaring at her warily. "You were right, Mom. There are some people I don't need in my life. Rachel Berry is one of them. She's . . . I don't want you to think badly of her. Honestly, Daddy, the worst she ever did was smile at me a little too much. I don't even know if she really does have . . ." she had to force the next word out ". . . unnatural feelings for me or anything. She kind of smiles at everyone too much, probably because no one ever smiles back at her."
"There's a reason for that, Quinn," he said sternly.
She nodded, "You're right, of course, but I think I felt sorry for her. Aren't we, as Christians, supposed to reach out to those less fortunate? And offer kindness and forgiveness where those less tolerant do not? Isn't that Jesus's message, Daddy?"
Her Dad took a sip of his coffee before nodding, "Yes, Quinn. You're right. But Jesus also says that homosexuality is a sin and that we should cast sin from us."
"Actually, Jesus never said that. Leviticus did, and he predates Christianity. So, to live by his words would actually make us . . . Jewish, wouldn't it?"
Her Dad set his coffee cup down so hard that it chipped, but he was too busy standing up to tower over her that he didn't even notice.
Her knees were shaking so hard she could barely keep her feet. She really shouldn't have strayed from her original speech, but she knew that she had to get the rest of it out fast now before he started talking because to talk over him . . . well, in the mood she'd put him in – a day looking after brats in day-care and the loss of one week's allowance would seem like a luxury.
"Anyway, I have decided that you are both right and that Rachel Berry is not someone I should be associating with. I texted her last night to tell her that she was no longer permitted to call or message me via my phone. I also plan on speaking to Mr. Laxforth at lunch today to explain the situation and request a new desk partner in American Literature. I'll also tell Mr. Schuester that I can no longer tutor his Spanish class if Rachel is also involved. I would, however, like to remain in Glee, if that's okay, because I enjoy it and it really will look good on my college applications."
Her Dad sat back in his chair and Quinn breathed a mental sigh of relief. "Okay."
That was it? Not that she was complaining.
That wasn't it.
"You can stay if you rejoin the Cheerios," her dad told her.
"They've already filled my place for this year, but…."
"I don't care if that insane Sylvester woman makes you the Water Girl or the darn mascot; if you don't get back on that cheerleading squad you can forget about wasting your time with show choir!"
How was she supposed to make that happen? "I may need some time."
"That's reasonable. We'll be at the home game two weeks from Friday to see you back in action. Now get to school." She couldn't leave the kitchen fast enough. "Oh, and Honey, if I hear any more about you indulging Rachel Berry's sickness for any reason there will be consequences."
Rachel put up her umbrella as soon as they got out of the car.
"Hey, you don't need that. I parked right by the door," Finn pointed at the entrance, which was indeed only about five steps away, as he got his wheelchair from the trunk.
"I thought, I mean, you don't really need me to come in with you, do you?" He looked perplexed. "Because I can, and will, if you do, but I thought while we were here I could . . . um, I have a quick errand to run."
He frowned, "I thought you were here as moral support."
"No, I am." She really was, but . . . "Okay, let's get your wages first."
"Plus," he grinned as he unfolded the chair and sat down. "I'm in a wheelchair, dude! You can't just leave me to fend for myself in the rain."
Rolling her eyes, she took the handles and pushed him up the small ramp to the door.
Leaning down to be level with his ear, she whispered, "How have you been getting on here, anyway?"
"It's okay. I mean it's kind of depressing, but they let me look at the dead people sometimes so, you know?"
Shuddering, Rachel looked around, half expecting a corpse to be laying in plain sight. Finn made small talk with the guy behind the desk who did his job during the day and after a minute or two one of the funeral directors came out. Rachel didn't feel the need to mentally describe him for future role-playing exercises because he looked like every funeral director was supposed to look – sombre, pale, dressed in a black suit.
A few words were exchanged, quietly, as if the dead could be disturbed, and then an envelope was handed over.
Then Rachel pushed Finn outside. He jumped up as soon as they were out of the door.
"Shouldn't you . . .?"
"They never look outside. I think it hurts their eyes or something." He stowed the chair back in the trunk. "So, thanks for coming with me. I guess I should look to see how much I got."
"You do that," Rachel already had her umbrella back up. "I just need to run across to the bank. Why don't you turn the car around while you wait and meet me outside?" She knew missing the start of school was inevitable, but the less the better. And still shivering from the perceptive chill of the funeral parlour combined with the cold day, she added, "And keep the engine running!"
"Um, okay."
Thankfully the bank opened just as she joined the line of people filing into the building. She shook her umbrella at the door, showering the security guard in raindrops.
"Sorry!"
Why was she so nervous? The heat in the bank must have been turned right up, people steamed in front of her, she was steaming. It was probably a ploy to encourage people in to invest their money in an otherwise discouraging financial market.
She unbuttoned her jacket and waited her turn.
It came soon enough. "I'd like to make a withdrawal, please?" She passed her little blue book under the gap in the bullet proof window.
"How much?" The young male teller already sounded bored even though they'd only opened ten minutes ago.
Rachel smiled. "All of it."
Quinn's thoughts had been full of the conversation over the breakfast table on the drive to school. Mostly about how she was supposed to actually achieve any of her daddy's demands. She couldn't see any way, which meant in less than three weeks she would have to drop out of Glee club.
As she parked and made her way down the covered walk to the school she tried to redirect her thoughts – she had History first period, did she need books from her locker for that? – but then Santana appeared at her side, walking through the doors with her.
"You look like shit."
"Drop dead."
Santana smirked, "So, did you hear the latest?"
"The latest what?"
"Rumour has it, Berry and Finn had a picnic yesterday in the auditorium."
"Oh my God, I am so sick of hearing that name! And it's not news to me. Finn already told me all about the lame picnic he set up to get a lesson on pregnancy from Manhands. And I'm glad he did, because it saves me from having to explain it all."
Santana laughed, "You are so naïve, Q!"
She shrugged, "What do I have to worry about? She's into me." Santana fixed her with a dubious look that went on until after Quinn had opened her locker to place some books inside. "What?"
"So, she's like totally gay?"
"No, she says she's bisexual . . ." Santana was still giving her that look, and it made more sense now. "She wouldn't go after my boyfriend," she said with less certainty than she would have liked, not because she thought Rachel would, but then she'd never thought Rachel would turn her back on her either, so really, how well did she even know the girl?
Santana picked up on her hesitancy, of course she did, and didn't pull any punches, "Listen, you need to stop waving your Rachel Berry-Super Friend pom poms in the air for a minute and see what's about to happen. I think it's all very noble how you're tolerating Berry's insane little crush, but while you're busy soaking up the munchkin's attention and at the same time bitching Finn out in the halls for everyone to witness, you're just messing with everyone's heads!"
Quinn glared at her, because she so didn't need this right now. "What do you even mean by that?"
"Come on, Q! It's common knowledge you never let him get to second base without an advance letter of request and three-character references . . ." Quinn straightened up, hands going to her hips, but Santana wasn't near done. ". . . and meanwhile they're off talking about your baby, and when that gets boring, so in like five seconds because it's a baby…"
Her common sense blinded by a quiet fury, Quinn snapped, "Hey! Rachel happens to love talking about my baby. Not everyone thinks the only thing babies are good for is shoplifting designer boots in their strollers!"
"Okay, that was one time, and they were Manalo Blahnik's! My cousin Lucia is going to understand the sacrifice she made when she's older, okay? And, anyway, what Berry loves is the idea of screwing you. If I wanted to tap that ass, I'd pretend to listen to you drone on about Hudson's spawn too."
"That's not why she takes an interest! She cares. She's gone out of her way to educate herself so that she can help me know what I need to know."
"Let me guess: that meant spending time with you? Alone obviously, because you didn't want anyone to know you were hanging with her. Convenient, don't you think?"
Quinn's shoulders sagged and her hands slipped from her hips to hang loosely at her sides. That couldn't be it. Maybe Rachel had only helped to start with to get closer to her – but then Quinn would never have gotten to know Rachel if she hadn't done – but now she was invested in this little life, completely, too much so in fact. Rachel had been awestruck at the scan and she wanted to help her raise it for crying out loud.
But then she'd only decided that, only declared that she'd bonded with the baby, after Quinn had said they couldn't carry on their thing anymore. It had been a complete turnaround that had sent Quinn reeling at the time but had ultima. . .
"Face it, Q, if you weren't already off-the-charts smart she would've offered to tutor you in Biology or something. That wasn't an option, so isn't it possible she turned herself into a fucking baby encyclopaedia to impress you instead."
Santana was waiting for an answer and, well, this wouldn't be the first time Rachel had let her down in the last twenty-four hours. Maybe crashing their picnic yesterday had been a terrible idea after all. At the time it had felt like . . . giving them both something, she supposed. They were friends separate from her and they'd both expressed the wish to all be friends together and for the first time she'd seen a way to make it work – to not hide her friendship with Rachel from someone even if she had to downplay it a lot and to let Finn have time with his friend without him fearing she was going to rip him a new for it. What if all she'd done instead was flaunt her boyfriend in Rachel's face just after Rachel had spent ages teaching him how to be the perfect baby-daddy? Had she felt like she was losing the one thing they'd had that was just theirs? In short, had Rachel dumped their friendship on the phone last night because she was jealous that the baby-angle wasn't working out for her anymore?
Suddenly furious, Quinn grabbed her history book and slammed her locker shut. "Yes, that's completely possible!"
Santana looked triumphant for a moment before masking it with concern, "And now she's doing the same with Finn, and when his ridiculously short attention span can't handle any more tedious baby-facts he's going to start whining to the one person who understands what a bitchy prude you are and then she's gonna whine about how you're leading her on for all the mind-numbing baby crap she can spout and the next thing you know . . ."
When she trailed off with a knowing little look, Quinn snapped, "The next thing I know is what?"
Santana rolled her eyes. "Q, you have a real blonde spot when it comes to sex." And then she spelled it out for her. "They are going to do with each other what you won't do with either of them!"
"You think they'll cheat on me, together?" she checked; because if she was misunderstanding something about Santana's insinuation she needed to know before she went into a fit of homicidal rage. Realizing how that sounded, she amended, "Finn, I mean, obviously, but then they'd kind of both be cheating on me, right? Considering how Rachel keeps telling everyone she loves me?"
'Everyone except me anyway,' she thought bitterly.
"Yes, Quinn, that's exactly what I think. Now what are we going to do about it?"
That was it. She'd had enough now. The pressure had mounted as far as it could, and she hit boiling point. "Nothing. We're going to do nothing! Because I don't care, San, okay? I am so sick of every single conversation I have being about Rachel. It's mind numbing. I know I've made mistakes where she's concerned – and no one regrets that more than me – but now I just want to forget she even exists . . . outside of Glee at least."
"But what about Finn?"
"If Finn likes her enough to cheat on me; then so be it." She felt tears coming, but not for the reason Santana would expect. "Obviously I'll break up with him on the spot; but you can't fight fate."
"Seriously, Q, but . . ."
"Seriously, S, I'm done giving a crap about anything Rachel Berry does." Quinn shook her head, closed her locker and walked away.
The kerbside by the bank was a no park zone and Finn was staring nervously around and over both shoulders expecting a traffic cop to arrive any second. He couldn't get a ticket; his mom would kill him! Finally, he saw Rachel running out of the bank carrying fistfuls of cash.
She threw herself into the passenger seat as she checked her watch and demanded, "Drive, Finn! I have the money, let's go!"
"Shit, okay!" He stamped on the gas and shot out into the steady traffic.
"No, wait!" Rachel shrieked as she tried to buckle herself in without dropping any of the money.
"Sorry!" he started to pull in again to horns blaring behind him.
"It's okay, don't slow down!" she insisted as she managed to get her seatbelt to click into place.
He swerved out again, causing a screech of tires on the wet road behind him and more honks. "What the hell, Rach? Did you just rob that bank?"
"Of course not." She chuckled like she was nervous and stuff and held up a blue book. "Now drive to the clinic quick! I don't want to be any later to school than we have to be."
He swerved in again, hitting the edge of the sidewalk hard enough to jolt them both before he stalled the car and gave up on being able to drive right now. "Rachel, what have you just done?" He didn't know whether to be impressed or scared.
She looked him dead in the eye, which made him lean more towards scared.
"I took some money out of my savings account. Added to your wages it should be enough to pay the clinic's bill."
"You can't do that!"
"What's wrong?"
"I can't let you . . ."
She cut him off, because arguing about this was just wasting time. "The bill is seven hundred and forty dollars, Finn, did you get paid that much?"
"No. How do you know that anyway?"
"I was sat right beside you when she was waving it around in your face and my eyesight is twenty-twenty. Does Quinn have any means of putting the rest of the money to what you earned?"
"No," he admitted, slightly sulky. "Her Dad gives her an allowance each week, but she's been saving that up for maternity clothes, which is good cause its one less thing I have to pay for."
Rachel kind of wanted to slap him for that comment, but then she remembered that he had a seven hundred dollar plus medical bill hanging over his head so maybe he could be forgiven for being a little bit thrifty.
"And what happens if Quinn doesn't pay today, and debtors turn up on her doorstep?"
He sighed heavily, "Best case scenario? Quinn gets grounded for the rest of her life, and I never get to see her or my baby ever."
Rachel put a gentle hand on his forearm. "And that's the best-case scenario, Finn. I have the money right here, so let's just go and take care of it."
Finn looked pained but he restarted the car, before turning to her again. "Wait, that's not, like, your college fund or anything, is it?"
She laughed because, please, if her college fund amounted to only eight hundred dollars, she'd be severely depressed . . . Hmm, it raised a good point though and she made a mental note to check with her dads how much her college fund actually was, because New York schools were expensive.
"No, Finn, these are my personal savings. The fruits of my summer singing lessons."
He frowned, "They paid you to take singing lessons? Why? You're really good."
She beamed, while rolling her eyes. "I taught the classes. At the LCAC. It was very lucrative."
"But . . ." he looked at the thick wad of notes poking out of her bank book. "You made that much in a summer?"
She looked down at the book herself and then averted her eyes to the stream of traffic beyond the windscreen. "I'm that good, Finn, also, I didn't have anything else to do but sing all summer. It seemed prudent to make money from it if I could."
He hadn't meant to upset her and chose his next words very carefully. "Yeah, that's . . . that was a really good idea. Working like that, at something you love, to make that kind of money, that's awesome. I just spent last summer drinking beer and playing tag football in Puck's backyard and hanging out by Quinn's pool, trying to get her to make out with me more."
"Let's just go to the clinic. It won't make us that late for first period," Rachel's voice was coming out all growly now and she was glaring at her watch and wow he really didn't want to make her any later if it was going to make her this pissed off, but he had to ask just one more thing. "I don't want you to think I'm not grateful. I really am, Rachel, and I'll do whatever it takes to pay you back for this, not just the money but, you know, just how awesome you're being too, but . . . I gotta ask."
"What, Finn?"
"Are you just doing this to score with my girlfriend?"
"What?"
"You know, because you think paying for this might make her want to bone you or something?"
Rachel's face turned to thunder. "No! I am not doing this to make Quinn want to bone me! It wouldn't make her want to do so anyway, and right now I don't particularly want to bone her either."
"Because of her dad?" he asked cautiously. "She felt really bad about that you know?"
"I'm doing this because it's the right thing to do, and right now nobody else has the means to. And, honestly, I'd prefer it if Quinn never even found out."
"Seriously?"
"Yes, I'm extremely serious about that."
The drive was silent apart from the eighties soft rock coming quietly from the radio as Finn navigated the morning rush hour through the town's central district, giving Rachel time to think about the things Finn had said and the amount of money she was about to part with. She wasn't having any doubts about the parting; her mind was dead set on that, but she knew Quinn wouldn't be happy. In fact, Quinn was going to ream her when she found out about this, and the longer Rachel could put that off the better.
As he pulled into the parking lot of the East Lima Medical Centre, she said, "The last thing I want to encourage is dishonesty in your relationship, Finn, but you're going to have to tell your girlfriend that you asked for an advance on your wages and it was granted.."
"A six week advance. Quinn's never gonna buy that."
"Then tell her you sold your X-Box to raise the money she needed."
"She'll believe that even less," he grumbled as he turned off the car's engine. "Maybe I can just say you gave me a loan?"
"No! She mustn't know I've had anything to do with it. At all. Ever!"
"Okay, okay, I'll think of something. Let's just go in."
Once inside the medical centre things didn't go as smoothly or as quickly as she would have liked. The receptionist was being particularly difficult.
"We're here to settle the bill for Quinn Fabray's last appointment," she tried again.
The curly-haired blonde nodded, again, and said, again, "Accounts have to be settled by the person who opened them."
"We're not trying to settle her account," Rachel said as patiently as she could, and honestly, it didn't sound very patient to her. "We'd just like to pay the amount on her standing bill."
"Which would close up her account." The blonde receptionist said with more patience than Rachel was displaying.
"But Quinn would still need an account! She's still pregnant!"
"Which is why we request that the person who is pregnant, or a parent or guardian, is the one who comes in to make payments, so that she can make the next appointment and keep her account alive."
"What if I make her next appointment?"
"Are you Quinn Fabray?"
"Obviously not!" Rachel shook her head irritably. "I demand to speak to Dr. Chin!"
"Dr. Chin isn't in the building right now."
"Why not? Did she just suddenly decide today was the perfect day to take a vacation?" she asked sceptically.
"No, it's eight-fifty-five, she doesn't start until nine-thirty today."
Rachel huffed and stamped her foot.
"Look, I'm the dad," Finn spoke up for the first time.
"Congratulations, sir, but I'm afraid I still can't . . ."
"No, I get that. Quinn has to settle her account so that she can make a new appointment to keep her account open, but . . . what if we didn't settle it, just like, paid some off? I mean, I'm the father so it's my job to pay anyway, right? I mean, from what I can figure out from Quinn it's pretty much my only job so . . . what if we didn't settle, we just paid most of it, but left like, five dollars on there for Quinn to come in and pay later?"
The receptionist eyed him for a moment and then said, "Hang on." before leaving her chair to go and confer with an older woman sorting files.
"Do you think I just made her want to call security?" Finn whispered nervously.
"No, I think you just said the magic words."
Ten minutes later they walked out of the clinic seven hundred and twenty dollars lighter and giggling like the school kids they were. It was cathartic after the extremely adult situation they'd just handled.
"You were amazing, Rach!" Finn laughed as he unlocked the car.
"Me? You made that happen!" She slid into the passenger seat. "I think she actually was going to call security on me!"
He folded himself into the driver's seat. "Yeah, but if you hadn't had the money . . ."
The way he was looking at her . . . It made her feel unbelievably good and enforced the certainty that she'd done the right thing.
"Thanks, Rach, I mean, seriously, just . . . thank you!"
"You're welcome, Finn," she said, and the earnest look on his face and the warmth in his tone made it come out shy.
"You're . . . you're just awesome!"
She chuckled, feeling self-conscious. "It was really no big . . ."
She let him kiss her, because it was a surprise. When she'd recovered from it, she pushed at his shoulder and pulled her head back.
"What's wrong?" he breathed, still only inches away.
"Quinn," she said in a small voice.
"Oh. . .. Oh crap!" He threw himself back into the driver's seat. "I didn't mean to do that. I shouldn't have done that, right?"
Rachel's mind was a landscape that even she couldn't navigate right now because . . . because that hadn't been a bad kiss. It had been sweet and tender and full of emotion and if it wasn't for Quinn! But Quinn was a factor, a major factor, and so . . . just no.
"You have to ask me if that wasn't right?" she snapped, because, yes, she wasn't loving the way her emotions were playing on her right now and it made her angry.
"No, no, I know it wasn't." He took a ragged breath. "I'm sorry. But . . ."
"No buts, Finn. Just drive us to school."
Quinn heard the rumours even before she met Santana at recess.
Rachel Berry had arrived at school late with Finn Hudson.
She'd tried to talk herself down – there had to be an innocent reason, Finn wouldn't do this to her, Rachel wouldn't do this to her . . . but why wouldn't they? With the best of intentions Santana had really done a number on her self-esteem.
Add to that that she actually, genuinely wanted to hate Rachel right now? Well, it was just easier to let anger take over.
So, she smirked when she rounded the corner to their lockers and saw Santana already crowding a terrified looking Rachel.
"What do you have to say for yourself, Stubbles?"
"I have nothing to say to you, Santana." Rachel kept her eyes directed in her locker despite the way Santana was practically drooling malice on her shoulder.
Quinn strolled casually closer. "What's going on here?"
Rachel looked over her shoulder, but didn't meet her eyes to say, "Quinn, please kindly call off your Bull Mastiff so that I can go about my business."
Stupid move, Rachel, Quinn thought even before Santana hip-checked her hard enough to send Rachel's head banging against her open locker door.
"What did you just call me, RuPaul?"
Rachel held her hand at the point of impact – Quinn hoped she wasn't bleeding . . . and then hoped she was. – and turned to Santana with a frustrated look on her face.
"I didn't call you anything. I likened you to a rather heavy-set dog that has jaws like a car-crusher that never let's go. I only meant one of those characteristics literally, I'm sure you can figure out which one."
"Listen up, Stubbles, you can infer about me all you want, but let's get one thing straight: We all know why you're acting out; Quinn's not falling for your dwarfish charms. And so right now you think sucking Finn's dick is the closest you're ever going to come to getting your mouth near Quinn's pussy."
"Santana!" she hissed, because sure she might be enjoying watching Rachel squirm, but they still were in a crowded hallway and Quinn didn't need the next big scoop about her to involve explicit details of what she did or didn't choose to do with her vagina.
"You're disgusting!" Rachel spat at the same time and, closing her locker with a hard slam, walked away.
"And yet not wrong." Santana dogged her heels – that mastiff analogy just kept on giving – until she had enough speed and enough space to whirl around in front of Rachel and brace an arm against the bank of lockers to block her way. "And not surprisingly the jokes on you, because while you've been off sucking that giant tree's little acorn, getting off on imagining you can taste her, Quinn's never even been near it. So how stupid and pathetic do you feel now, Stubbles?"
"Santana!" she hissed again, angrily this time, because what the hell did, she think she was doing?
Rachel just looked confused and like if her way wasn't barred, she wouldn't even care to clear that confusion up. "What are you talking about?"
"Quinn and the immaculate conception, what do you think I've been talking about? They never did it, Finn just has super-sperm, so now you can forget about trying to have second hand sex with Quinn and move on out of her life once and for all."
Rachel looked from Santana to her, and then back to Santana. "Perhaps you're right. It probably is time for me to move on. Enjoy the rest of your day, ladies."
With a final nod she walked around them and briskly disappeared around the corner.
Santana turned, pointing after her, bemused by the easy compliance and the unaffected departure. "I usually try not to get so close that I can tell them apart, but I was just telling off the right loser then, right?"
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Me? Don't you mean her?" She gestured at the corner again. "She's the one acting like . . ."
"I told you that last night in confidence and now you're just spreading it around? Thanks a lot, Santana!"
"I wasn't spreading any . . . Quinn, hey! Where are you going?"
Away, was where she was going, it didn't matter where to exactly. She needed a quiet minute to calm down before classes began again. Time to process the confrontation that she hadn't instigated but could take all the blame for all the same.
She went to the bathroom behind the gym and locked the door behind her.
"Go away," said a sniffly but stern voice from the end stall.
Quinn sighed, "shit!" but didn't leave. She went to the closest stall and dropped the toilet lid so she could sit down.
Her quiet tears joined Rachel's a few moments later.
The compulsion to go and comfort the other girl was so strong it hurt to refuse it, but what choice did she have? Rachel didn't want her comfort, she didn't want her friendship, she didn't want her apparently anymore either.
Their synchronized snivelling had been going on for about five minutes when Rachel gave a broken laugh and said, "Wow, I knew today was going to be hard, but . . . just wow!"
Quinn could see her reflection in the mirrors as she went to the sink and splashed water on her face. She waited for her to say something else, but nothing came and Quinn realized she was just going to leave it like that.
When Rachel made for the exit, she was up so fast she knocked her shoulder into the edge of the door. Not that she needed to hurry, the door was still locked, and the key was in her hand. Even so, she reached the door only a pace behind Rachel and stood there, as close as possible without touching, and waited for her to look up.
She didn't, her eyes were glued to the handle and her posture was stiff and uncompromising.
Quinn broke first, "Rachel, we need to . . ."
Rachel still didn't look up. "Please just unlock the door."
"No, not until . . ." She watched Rachel take her phone out of her bag. "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to call the school office and tell them someone has locked us in here as a prank and request that they send a janitor down to . . . Hey, give me back my phone!"
"No! I don't need any more rumours about us being locked in bathrooms together, especially now."
Rachel sobbed out a chuckle and dropped her forehead to rest against the solid door. "And doesn't that just sum us up nicely."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing."
"No, come on, out with it. Despite our faults I thought we'd always been upfront with each other."
"Fine. You're always so scared of anyone finding out about our relationship and yet you're always the one holding the key, Quinn. Haven't you noticed that?"
She didn't know how to respond to that, yet so she fell back on an old faithful. "We're not in a relation . . ."
"Oh, give me a break . . . or open this door!" she all but yelled, pounding the side of her fist on it. ". . . or, just, or . . ."
Quinn clutched onto one word, "Or?"
Rachel didn't answer.
"Please just . . ."
"No!" Now she really did yell, and then turned in a flash, grabbing for Quinn's hand to snatch the key away.
Quinn yanked her hand back just in time and held it up, out of her reach. "I'll let you out if you tell me why you came to school with Finn this morning."
Rachel rolled her red eyes, "That's what this is about? What am I saying? Of course it is."
"Of course, it's no . . ." but the derision in Rachel's voice pushed all the wrong buttons and Quinn just didn't care that that wasn't even close to what it was about anymore. "Are you going to answer me or not? Because I can stay in here all day. My Dad's already picking out military schools for me, one more detention for skipping class isn't going to make much difference either way."
Rachel didn't say anything, when she should have been saying, 'Oh my God, is everything okay?' She stayed silent, proving she didn't give the smallest shit about what consequences their relationship might have caused for Quinn.
"Answer me, Manhands!"
Rachel crossed her arms and turned back to the door. Quinn crossed hers too, making sure the key and phone were safely tucked out of reach, and leaned against the wall beside the door.
The bell rang.
Shit, for all her bluffing she really couldn't risk another detention. She was pretty sure her dad would check up on her promise to not skip class anymore, as well as the others she made that morning, and she couldn't exactly use her morning sickness as a reason on him like she could her teachers.
So, she was counting down the time she could reasonably be late, ten minutes she could probably get away with or fifteen if she actually went to the nurse afterwards and could get a note, when Rachel finally gave in.
"My parents were unavailable to bring me in this morning," she said, still staring at the door. "And with the weather as bad as it is, I didn't want to walk if it could be avoided. As I am . . ."
"You could have called me."
"As I am banned from seeing you, Finn was my only option. Please, although I know you are upset with me, don't tell him that. I don't want to hurt his feelings."
Quinn actually breathed a sigh of relief, and then wasn't really sure why, not when Rachel was concerned about hurting Finn's feelings and didn't care about hers.
"Is that really the truth? Only we both know that the rumours about us have a certain element of truth, so how can I be sure that the ones about you and Finn don't too?"
"Because you're supposed to trust me."
It was the too calm tone that irked her this time. "Trust the girl who told me she didn't want to be friends anymore last night? For all I know, you said that because you've already moved on!"
"Why shouldn't I move on? You don't want to be in a relationship with me, you've made that abundantly clear a thousand times."
Tears sprang to her eyes again, falling so fast they were dripping from her chin before she could wipe them away. Damn baby hormones! She scratched her cheek with the key while trying to do so and the salt water made it sting.
"That doesn't make it okay for you to move on with my boyfriend!" she said in a whispered shriek that hurt her throat.
"I'm not! God, Quinn, I'm not!" Rachel walked to the far wall and leant on the edge of a basin for a moment, through teary eyes Quinn watched her back shudder a few times as she fought to compose herself. And then, grabbing a few blue sheets from the paper towel dispenser she came back and offered them silently.
Quinn snatched them away and the key fell from her hand to bounce and then chime against the floor as it settled. She stared down at it.
So did Rachel. And then she stooped to pick it up and . . . offered it back to Quinn. Now Quinn stared at it in her hand.
"The only person I want to be with is you. Just because we can't be together doesn't change that."
Quinn picked the key up from her open palm and unlocked the door.
Rachel took back her phone and left.