Anything

A/N: Sorry it took so long to post something! I have had some health issues which only compounded my unmotivation. But hopefully you enjoy this little companion piece to 6x17 (writing what happens between the scenes in episodes is maybe my favorite thing to do). I really wish we'd seen Kate and Castle's reunion after she was held captive because I liiive for Protective Castle. :D

(YES this is a little long to be a ficlet but I didn't think it worked as a standalone one-shot either.)

—-

Kate's body felt heavy, and numb from the cold. She lost her footing more times than she could count, each fall on the hard ground reminding her how sore and beaten she was. Each nerve screamed with effort as she rose back up to her feet, but she had to go back. She had to reach a phone. She had to let her people know where she was before it was too late.

She groaned in relief when the looming mansion was finally within her sights. She wanted to run, knowing that time was of the essence, but she couldn't. She needed to sneak back in without anyone seeing her.

Perhaps that was going to be easier than she thought.

She heard the sound of screeching tires and saw the front door was wide open, swaying a little in the breeze. She was probably too late, Kate realized. Her heart sank as she pictured Vulcan Simmons' face. Just the thought alone made her cough involuntarily, as if water still remained in her lungs. As if purging the water could purge his face from her mind.

She walked inside on wobbly legs and ducked into the first office she could find. No one was around to see her. She wasn't sure how that was possible, given how many people had been here only an hour or so ago. She couldn't decide if she was grateful or disappointed.

But it didn't matter now. With her hands still tied behind her back, Kate dumped the receiver on the desk. Looking over her shoulder (her neck screaming at her to stop), she dialed Esposito's number. The numbers came easily to her, but she had to peck at them slowly, to prevent any mistakes. When she heard the familiar ringing tone, she turned around, and bent over to press her ear closer to the receiver.

"This is Esposito," came the familiar voice on the other end of the line. Kate squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to cry.

"Espo…" she rasped, and then he shouted something unintelligible to the others surrounding him. Kate could almost picture it, a semi-circle of concerned cops hovering over his shoulder while they all strained to listen. It created a warmth in her chest that helped ease the ache.

"Beckett, where are you?" he urged. She could tell he was trying to be gentle, but his volume was raised, on alert.

She used the side of her face to carefully slide the phone off the desk, tucking it between her shoulder and her ear. She stood, balancing the precariously placed receiver, and repeated the address three times to ensure they got it right.

"We got it, Beckett. We'll be there soon, alright? Sit tight."

"They're gone, I think," she tried to whisper, but she heard a scuffle and suddenly it wasn't Esposito on the line. She didn't think he heard her.

"Kate?" Castle said, his voice gentle but urgent, and Kate's whole body swam with warmth.

"Hi," she whispered back. It didn't matter how tightly she closed her eyes or how much pressure she used to bite her lip - tears still leaked down her cheeks from the raw emotion coursing through her body at the sound of his voice.

"We're coming, okay? We're coming to get you."

"I know," she sighed, suddenly feeling dizzy and spent. Her body had exerted more energy than she had, and her reserves were tapped out.

"I love you, Kate. Just hang on."

Kate tried to nod, forgetting for a moment that he couldn't see her. "Love you, too."

Castle hung up first. The receiver beeped annoyingly at her, reminding her she could let it drop from her shoulder.

And then her legs nearly buckled from beneath her, and she slid down the wall behind the desk. Just in case anyone was still in the building, Kate found herself crawling to huddle beneath the large oak desk to wait, unseen.

She didn't even remember falling asleep.

—-

She awoke to the vibrations of dozens of boots on the hardwood floor. Her eyes flew open when she heard someone calling her name.

Not someone. Castle.

He was shouting for her, giving away not only their arrival to this enemy base, but his location. If anyone remained here, they'd know where to find him.

Kate kicked against the underside of the deck, still trying to regain not only her wits but the usage of her body. She felt like she was stuck in the mud, too heavy to pull herself out of the muck.

Castle quieted, and Kate called out for him. Slowly, she army-crawled out from under the desk and blinked rapidly, her tired, gritty eyes adjusting to the sunrise streaming in from the window.

"Kate!" she heard him exclaim, and suddenly the heaviness of her body didn't seem to matter. She was swept up like she weighed absolutely nothing, and then the warmth of him was seeping into her, his scent enveloping her, welcoming her into the comfort of his embrace.

It was too much.

But it also wasn't enough.

He must have freed her hands from their bonds because now the tension was gone and her arms dangled loosely at her side. The ache in her shoulders suddenly didn't matter because he was here, and her arms flung themselves clumsily around his shoulders.

"Oh, Kate."

She let out a little yelp as his grip tightened, but Castle didn't seem to notice. His body trembled as he clutched and clawed at her, smoothing his hands over her back, over her hair, and soon Kate was shaking too, with such profound relief and love, it felt like she might burst from it.

"You came," she choked out, and her already raw throat felt tight with emotion.

He pulled away just far enough to cup her face in both hands. He stared at her, hard, and she could tell by the redness in his eyes and his face that he was doing everything in his power not to lose it right now.

He paused for a long time before finally murmuring, "I will always come for you. I would do anything for you, Kate."

And she believed him. She'd seen what he did for Alexis, and she didn't doubt that he would have done the same thing for her. It made her chest feel fuzzy and electric hearing those words, and feeling the tangible emotion that hung in the air between them.

She'd never known this kind of love before. But god, she was damn lucky to have found it.

"I know." She grinned, and when her gaze flicked to his mouth, he needed no further invitation. His warm lips brushed hers, but only for a moment.

Then, he pulled back and said, "There's an ambulance outside. We need to get you checked out. Can you walk?"

Kate nodded, though she wasn't quite sure she really could.

Perhaps Castle knew her better than she thought, because he helped her stand, and looped his arm around the middle of her back. Together, they slowly walked back out into the foyer and down the front steps where the ambulance waited. Then he took her hand in his and helped her climb into the back where the paramedics waited.

And even as she was examined from head to toe, Castle never once let go of her hand.

—-

After Kate's exam, she was finally allowed to hug Ryan and Esposito. She filled them in on everything she could think of, her newfound adrenaline from her surprising rescue slicing through the brain fog.

The paramedic gave her some crackers and water, and she was discharged from their care after refusing hospital treatment.

Ryan and Espo drove her back to the precinct, her and Castle in the backseat. His warm hand rested protectively on her thigh, and every so often he'd use his pointer finger to draw shapes against the fabric of her pants. It kept her smiling at first, until the monotony of the drive took over and she once again fell asleep, her head against the cool window.

When they arrived, there was a flurry of activity as she was welcomed back, and then it was time to give her official statement to Gates and Captain Fowler. With Castle still at her side, and wrapped in the blanket she'd borrowed from Javi, she told them everything she knew.

In the end though, it seemed her suspicions had been correct. Everything had been cleared out from the mansion. All traces of Lazarus were gone.

Everything she'd gone through… it had all been for nothing.

The despair, the regret, the sheer force of her anger at the situation left her feeling bitter and devastated.

But she supposed it could have been worse. She could have gotten zero intel on the operation. (She'd at least gotten the name of the account the money was being laundered to.) She could have been stranded with no hope for rescue, lost in the woods with no idea where she was.

She could have died. Several times over, she could have died.

But she couldn't dwell on that now.

So she locked that emotion away in a little box inside her chest, and focused on the now. And right now? Castle was looking at her with no less worry in his eyes than when he'd found her. She felt like she'd been caught sneaking out to do something reckless, and her father had found her and brought her home. He had that look in his eyes… the one that was both grateful she was okay, and furious that she'd been in that position in the first place.

(But there was love there, too. There was always love there when he looked at her.)

He made a joke about leaving her alone. (Kate spoke fluent Castle - she knew this was his way of expressing regret in letting her go to the precinct without him.)

So she told him what was in her heart. As much as she could, at least, without letting too much emotion slip past her defenses while they were in the middle of her very public workplace.

His jaw was tight. It didn't matter how much she reassured him - he was angry that she'd been put in this position. That she'd been told to leave him out of it.

But what could she have done? There was no way this could have gone any better if he'd been with her. In fact, it would have been a disaster from the get-go.

But she let it go. This wasn't the time to have that discussion.

Right now, they needed to figure out where that account led. Whoever was at the end of it very well might be the real Lazarus.

"Come on… we should regroup with the others," she said, and reached out a hand to stroke his cheek.

"I want to take you home," he replied, his voice serious but not uncaring.

Kate nodded. "I know. But I won't be able to rest until we figure this out. Okay?"

He contemplated a moment, then nodded gruffly.

She unwrapped the blanket from around her shoulders and began to fold it. "Thank you. And hey, there's a jacket in my locker, do you mind getting it?"

"Of course," he said, and dropped a quick kiss to the top of her head. "Anything you need."

—-

The whole ride home, Kate wasn't able to get the image of Senator Bracken out of her mind.

She'd suspected him as soon as Elena had saved her life. But now, after hearing from Ryan and Esposito about the Future Forward account, she didn't just suspect it. She knew.

She knew.

Castle tried to make her comfortable when they got back to the loft. He made her chicken noodle soup while she took a scalding hot shower, and helped her put her pajamas on when she was too sore to bend down. He found a warm blanket for her to wrap around herself and rubbed her feet with lavender-scented lotion as she rested on the couch after her meal.

But every time she closed her eyes, she saw his face.

The man who'd ruined her life.

(And now, the man that had saved it.)

Later, when Castle went off to clean up the kitchen, Kate pulled out the laptop. She set it on top of the piano at a comfortable height and watched video after video of Senator Bracken. New clips of how he was being funded. How he's going to 'change the world.' How he's going to run for goddamn president.

She felt Castle sit beside her. Could practically feel his apprehension as he watched with her.

The puzzle pieces were slowly fitting into place in her mind. And the fire of her obsession, the one she'd tried dousing a long time ago, was reigniting.

It felt dangerous. It felt… all-consuming. Her hatred for this man was a volcano that would never truly be dormant. Even on the surface when she looked calm to everyone else, she'd be boiling inside.

She didn't want to feel like this. But she had no choice. She had no control.

He held all the cards.

(They were even now.)

Castle rose from his seat and kissed the top of her head. It was as if he could feel her unease, could feel the change in the air as she went further down the rabbit hole in her mind.

"Come to bed," he said, and held out his hand. His warm, sturdy, comforting hand.

With one last look at Bracken's frozen face, Kate nodded. She stood and pushed down the laptop lid, lacing her fingers through Castle's.

He tucked her into bed like she was a child, bringing the covers up to her shoulders and kissing her warmly on her forehead. Then he stripped out of his clothes, putting on his own pajamas, before sliding in next to her.

For a long time they just laid in the dark, Kate on her back staring up at the ceiling and Castle on his side, staring at her.

Then, with a soft voice, he said, "I almost lost you today."

The box inside Kate's chest creaked open, leaving her body feeling tight and emotional. "I know."

"Do you know what that was like for me?" he whispered, and scooted closer to her. One of his hands brushed away the hair on her forehead before landing lightly on her stomach. God, he was so warm.

She couldn't look at him. She didn't want to see the pain there. "I can only imagine."

Slowly, he inched closer to her until his cheek was resting on her shoulder. Kate moved her arm and wrapped it around Castle's back, holding his body to hers. The other hand raked through his hair, smoothing it back.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and it was all she could say. She couldn't take away the memories of that pain, just like how he couldn't take away hers.

"You have nothing to be sorry about." He planted a sweet kiss to her collarbone, and clutched at her more tightly. He sniffled, and Kate slammed her eyes shut. "I'm not angry with you. I know your experience was far worse than mine, I just –"

She pressed her lips to the top of his head, breathing in the scent of his shampoo. "I know. You must have been scared."

Castle scoffed, but not unkindly. "I was terrified, Kate. I haven't felt so out of body since Alexis got taken to Paris. I really thought–" He cleared his throat and then was quiet for a moment before continuing. "I'm really proud of you. You hung on. You fought like hell. And it's because of you that we know more now than we did before."

Now it was Kate's turn to scoff. "Castle, I –"

"No, I'm serious. Honey, you were… you were braver than I could ever be. I was scared, yes. But I've never been more proud of you."

Kate didn't know what to say. He never called her anything other than 'Kate' or 'Beckett.' It touched her, deep in her soul, the way he spoke so tenderly toward her. His voice was a salve and it was healing her from the inside out. She didn't know whether she agreed with him, but the sentiment, and his conviction in his belief, was enough to set her cheeks aflame and her heart fluttering.

"I meant what I said at the precinct. About you. I couldn't have done anything… I would have…" She licked her lips, searching for the words. "You saved me and you didn't even know it."

Castle rose up on one elbow to look down into Kate's face. Even in the darkness, she could see his lower lip trembling. Here, in their home, in the comfort of darkness, he could finally let his fear go. Let his emotions show.

"I wrote you a letter," she continued. She wanted to tell him, and if she didn't tell him now, she never would. It was likely, come dawn, they wouldn't speak of this night again.

"A letter?"

Kate nodded, and raised a hand up to stroke his cheek. "When I wasn't sure I'd make it out. It brought me comfort to know that I'd be able to tell you, one last time, how much you mean to me. How much this," she slid her hand down until it rested above his heart, "means to me." She hiccupped, grinned, and added, "You, Richard Castle, are the love of my life. And this partnership is the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Castle bit his lip before sucking down a ragged breath. "I love you so much," he responded, each word taking effort.

Kate craned her neck until she could feel Castle's breath on her lips. "I love you too. Always."

His hand cradled her face as he lips crashed against hers. He tasted like home, like comfort, and Kate wanted to drown in the sensation of being overwhelmed by him. She wanted him to take it all away, at least for now, using just his lips, his touch. But she could tell he was holding himself back, because after only a few seconds he pulled away, breathing heavily.

"Not tonight," he gasped. "God, I want you, but not tonight. You've been through too much. You need to rest."

She could hardly argue with him there. Her body ached, and her eyes burned from exhaustion.

She looked into his eyes and nodded in agreement. He wasn't going anywhere. It could wait til morning.

"Hold me?" she asked instead, and a bright smile grew on Castle's face. He slid back down to her side and pulled her until her back was to his front. She rested her cheek on his inner arm as his grip locked tightly around her body. She wasn't sure she'd ever felt so safe in her life, here in his arms.

She wouldn't give this up for anything.

"Always," he murmured softly in her ear, and it wasn't long before Kate fell into a blissful, well-deserved slumber.