Bonding
A/N: This takes place the night before 7x14, to give some context to Alexis's sudden affection for Kate.
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Alexis opened the door to the loft, looking around expectantly. "I'm home!" she called out, and then she spied Kate turn around to look at her from her spot on the couch. She was curled up under a blanket with a book in her hand, her hair bunched together in a haphazard ponytail.
"Hey, Alexis."
Alexis dropped her bag down on the table, her brow furrowing in confusion. "Where's dad?"
Kate slipped a bookmark into the pages and sighed, "He met up with some of the other Black Pawn authors for some drinks. He said he'd be home around ten." That left her with a little over two hours of what she'd thought would be silence, fuel for the introverted side of her social battery, but she wasn't sure that would be the case now.
Alexis wrinkled her nose and flopped down onto the other end of the couch. "I thought he didn't like them very much."
"He doesn't, but he says he's trying to be better about it." At Gina's insistence, Kate would guess.
Alexis nodded, though she wasn't fully sure she understood, and an awkward silence fell between them.
Kate pursed her lips together, unsure of what to say next. It wasn't always like this between them; more often than not, they could at least keep up cordial conversation. But it also wasn't very often that they interacted when Castle wasn't home. Even when he'd been missing, Kate had spent more hours away from the loft than in it, and Martha had proven to be a very competent buffer when needed.
But now… things were different. She and Castle were married. Alexis was her stepdaughter, and though she'd known the girl a long time, it wasn't very often that they spent time together just the two of them.
"Hey, you uh, wanna watch a movie or something?"
"Where's Gram?"
Kate tried not to bristle at Alexis's avoidance of her question. "Out, I think. I haven't seen her since I got home about an hour ago."
Alexis considered, and then kicked off her sneakers before tucking her feet up underneath her on the couch. She looked impartial to the idea of hanging out with Kate, but at least she chose to stay. Kate tried to see that as a win.
"So. How was class tonight?"
Alexis picked up the remote and began flicking through channels. "Fine. The professor actually let us leave early, which was nice. We have a test next week so there wasn't much to cover today."
Kate tossed her book lightly onto the coffee table. "That's cool. More free time."
"Mhm…" She seemed distracted by her task of finding something to watch.
"We could always rent something, if you want," Kate suggested, but Alexis shook her head.
"I don't think I want to commit to a whole movie. I'm kind of tired."
"Oh. Okay. Well, they usually play sitcom reruns on channel 50. Wanna see what's on?"
"Sure." Alexis typed the numbers into the remote, and then immediately grinned. "Friends! I love that show!"
Kate sputtered a soft chuckle. "You do?"
"Yeah! Dad and I used to watch it a lot."
"I should say I'm surprised but I'm really not."
Alexis flashed Kate her signature dimpled grin and then sank down further onto the couch. "This is okay, right?"
"Yeah, absolutely. It's a great show."
It was the episode where Rachel is supposed to be giving birth to Emma, but seems to be last in line as woman after woman come into the hospital after her, and somehow end up leaving before her. At the first commercial break, Kate rose to make the pair of them some snacks.
"Do you want some pretzels?" she called from the kitchen, and Alexis called back her agreement. Kate returned with the pretzel sticks in two small serving bowls, with baggies of snack-sized M&Ms on the side. "Sweet and salty, nothin' like it," she hummed, and popped an M&M into her mouth.
They watched in amiable silence, until Alexis's squirming pulled Kate's attention from the television.
"You okay?" she asked the girl, who was frowning and not quite looking at the TV anymore, but rather several inches below it.
"Yeah, just thinking."
Kate opened her mouth to ask what was on her mind, but she stopped before any words came out. Was Alexis trying to get Kate to ask her what was going on? Were they close enough for her to ask? If she'd wanted to share, wouldn't she have?
Before she could pick the right words to say, Alexis continued. "Do you think you and dad are going to have more kids anytime soon?"
Kate sputtered, grateful she hadn't been nibbling on a pretzel at the time. "I– what?"
Alexis turned and pinned Kate with a curious, wide-eyed stare. "I know it's probably none of my business, but I think about it sometimes, you know?" She sighed. "First comes love, then comes marriage…" she quoted in a sing-song voice, and Kate held up a hand before she continued the rhyme.
"Yeah no, I get it…"
"I guess I just wanna know when to expect it, I guess. I mean, I seem to be left out on a lot of the stuff that happens between you guys, and–"
"Alexis…"
Alexis's lips quirked into an apologetic smile. "I'm not mad about that, but I mean, it's kind of true."
Kate sat forward and placed her hand over her heart. "I swear, it was never the intention to keep you in the dark, it's just–"
"Kaaate," giggled Alexis. "It's okay. Really. I didn't know you guys were going to become a couple because it was… sudden. Dad told me that. And I didn't hear about the engagement because I was out of the country. And you moving in… well, what else were you supposed to do? That's what happens when you get married."
Kate felt her face flush. She suddenly felt very aware of her body as she wondered if she and Castle had ever actually talked to Alexis about her officially moving into the loft. She wasn't sure that they had. She'd spent so much time there anyway… it hadn't felt like that huge of a change, other than having to give up her beloved apartment.
"Alexis, if we haven't been forthcoming with you, believe me, it was unintentional."
The girl nodded. "I know. I guess now I'm just thinking about, you know, what comes next." She turned and waved her hand vaguely in the direction of the TV where Rachel Greene was laboring in the delivery room.
Kate opened her mouth and shook her head lightly. She honestly didn't know the answer to that question. She'd been thinking about it off and on lately, more and more aware of the tiny pack of birth control pills in the bathroom. She used to be able to take them each morning without batting an eye, and now… now she would look at them, marveling at the miracle these pills actually were. They allowed her to choose when she was ready to take that next step with Castle, and now that they were married… Kate was aware that she was running out of time to make that choice happen. She was already 35; if she wanted more than one, which she was fairly certain she would, now was the time to start considering their timeline.
Though it might have been sudden, and a tiny bit intrusive, Alexis really wasn't too far off-base, here.
Kate frowned. There was so much to figure out.
"It's been on my mind lately…" Kate finally admitted with a soft sigh, and Alexis's head swiveled back to face her.
"What does dad think?"
Kate blushed even harder. She hadn't yet brought it up with Castle. It had been on her mind, sure, but she hadn't been ready to talk about it.
For some reason, this seemed to delight Alexis. "He doesn't know?"
"Well, no. I mean, what's to talk about? I haven't really made any…" She fiddled with the hem of the blanket. "I haven't made up my mind or anything."
"So what have you thought about?" She leaned in slightly, transfixed by this conversation. There was a sparkle in her eyes that made Kate feel like they were gossiping, and she got that same warm flush in her chest whenever she talked to Lanie about this kind of stuff. It was like she and Alexis had turned into two girlfriends sharing their deepest secrets over snacks at a slumber party.
It felt… good.
"I mean, there's work."
"Of course."
"I wonder sometimes how that would work. I can't exactly be waddling down the street after a suspect, you know?"
Alexis chuckled, "As if dad would let you, either."
Kate grinned at that. She could imagine how overprotective he'd be when she was pregnant, automatically going into Papa Bear mode. On the surface she'd find it infuriating, but something told her deep down it would only strengthen her adoration of him.
"Right. So, that's a long time to consider being on desk duty. And you know, not everyone gets pregnant right away, so what if it takes a while?" She pursed her lips together and looked up at the TV where, ironically, a diaper commercial was playing. "I'm 35. I have to consider the fact that it might take time, and that's if we don't need medical assistance." Alexis listened intently, not interrupting. It felt strangely cathartic, speaking these thoughts aloud for the very first time. "And anyway, I feel like most married couples wanna be married for a while first, you know? Enjoy one another's company before adding a baby into it."
"That's true. My friend Carrie's parents were married almost ten years before they had her."
Kate nodded. "Yeah… it's a lot to consider." She grinned at her stepdaughter. "Your dad and I will discuss it one day, when the time is right. And I promise… once we know what the plan is, you'll be the first to know."
She reached across the couch and took Alexis's soft hand in her own. They rarely touched, the two of them, but this felt like a significant moment between them. Kate didn't want to let it pass them by without reassuring her. "You mean a lot to your dad. And to me. And I know whenever it happens, you'll make a perfect big sister."
Alexis's blue eyes were bright, her smile shy and excited on her face. "Thanks, Kate. I'm glad we could talk about this. That, you know, you trusted me to tell me all this stuff."
Kate squeezed tightly and then let go. "Of course I do. We're family."
Alexis's smile faded slightly and her eyes cast downward a little. "We are. And I'm really sorry if I haven't always treated you as such."
Kate thought back to their ups and downs through the years. How the stress of her job, and how she'd brought Castle into that life, had disrupted what Alexis was used to. How she never used to worry for her dad until she started shadowing Kate. How, even after they started dating and Kate had made her feelings for Rick known, Alexis had always seemed to keep her at arm's length, as if she was certain Kate would inevitably break Castle's heart (like when she'd pushed him away after she'd been shot).
She and Alexis had talked about it; they'd had to. Kate wouldn't have been able to live with herself if Alexis despised her. But luckily, they'd been able to work it out and clear the air, and both Martha and Alexis's presence had been quite comforting when Castle had gone missing. They were the only two people in the entire world who could relate to how Kate had been feeling, and she was so very grateful she'd been able to stay in their lives during those difficult two months.
"You haven't done anything wrong, Alexis. It must have been hard, you know… seeing your dad go through everything he's been through since he met me. I can understand that."
Alexis shook her head. "Still. No one, and I mean no one, has made my dad as happy as you've made him. I know some of the other stuff wouldn't have happened, I guess, but he also wouldn't be as happy as he is now." The show ended, and Alexis clicked off the television. "You'll never know how grateful I am that you found each other, Kate."
Alexis then stood from the couch, leaned over to give Kate a quick hug, and said goodnight before climbing up the stairs to her bedroom.
Kate grinned and ran a hand along her messy ponytail. This had been a wonderful surprise, talking so candidly with Alexis. It made her feel closer than ever to the young girl, something she didn't even know she needed.
After cleaning up the bowls, and laying the blanket on the back of the couch, Kate decided to retire to her and Castle's bedroom to take a shower before bed.
Once curled up under the covers, knowing Castle was only minutes away from returning home, Kate's hands traveled languidly down to her belly.
It dawned on her that she could hardly wait.