Kirk part 2
When Jamie turns around to finally head to the bridge she does not expect to see her First Officer.
Jamie has never known someone so composed before. Spock always stands straight, and his features are usually set into an expressionless one - but Jamie's seen him work - she's seen him turn an eyebrow and even throw a perplexed look from time to time.
Secretly she's been dreading this moment. The two of them alone. Spock is the type of being who likes to have answers - a Vulcan according to his file that will demand them if necessary. She still owes him an explanation for hiding her rank from him. In truth, she needs to tell him everything, yet she cannot bring herself to. She knows he has been studying her, she can feel his eyes watching her during their shifts together.
Just like he is studying her now.
She knows she's late reporting to the bridge but it couldn't be - she checks her watch - oh it could be. She was now five and a half hours late reporting to the bridge.
"I know, there was - I'll work -" Jamie rambles feeling her face heat up. Why was it impossible to string a sentence together in front of him?
"Your ability to prioritize compassion is commendable."
"I'm sorry?" Jamie is startled by his comment.
"You choose compassion over disciplining the young Lieutenant Junior. You were attentive to your crew's needs resulting in a more prosperous bond between Captain and crew."
"OK," Jamie responds feeling a little unsettled. She wants to make a good impression when it comes to this Vulcan. The last time she felt the thirst to prove herself and make a good impression was when Pike recruited her. Spock gestures towards the direction of the turbo-lift with an open hand. "Right, the bridge." What is it about this Vulcan that makes her so nervous? He passed her initial gut test and yet he still makes her feel like she has no clue what she is doing. Pike's words come back to haunt her. 'If the matter comes down to trust then Jamie that is something you are going to have to build with him.'
Jamie steals her breath as they begin to walk to the bridge slowly. "I owe you an overdue explanation -"
"For why you did not introduce yourself properly upon our first time of meeting or why Pike and the crew did not."
Jamie groaned. Yeah, she knows it's not logical and Vulcans are just that, calculating the risks and making logical solutions.
"I like anonymity. When I first meet anyone. I want to have open conversations about why they joined Starfleet without hearing the usual boring details about how much of an honour it is because I do hear it all the time, even see it time and time again on applications. I like hearing the nitty gritty side of people's stories. What truly inspired them to join Starfleet. I like to know what makes them tick. I use the anonymity of not revealing myself to gain information because the moment people find out I'm Captain, everyone stands to attention and gives me yes Ma'am, no Ma'am - completely closing themself off and providing me with the answer they think I want to hear."
Jamie catches Spock's raising his eyebrow.
"I know it's not logical. It's just how I roll. It was what I agreed with Pike when I first took Captaincy. I got to choose my staff and I got to do it my way. Uhura spoke highly of research so I had to come to see for myself - as I said not logical -"
"I disagree Captain."
Spock said it so matter-of-factly, that Jamie stopped walking to take a good look at him. Had he said what she thought she heard him say?
"You disagree?"
"From what you have told me, you gather all possible information about the individuals you can first hand to see if that individual has the qualities that will make them the right fit for your ship. You calculate if the individual in question is going to fit in with the rest of the team through judgment of their character. It is a highly logical process for the family-orientated dynamic environment you created within your ship."
"I like to keep it that way. That's why the Senior members have a rotating pattern between all the different shifts. So all the members of the crew feel like they are seen and know me and their heads of departments. That's why I'm seen in the mess hall or the break room whilst I'm off duty. Why I help the Ensigns study. It's why I set in so many policies - the rest periods, the non-uniform off duty, using first names now preferred names whilst off duty - to make sure that it does stay that way. And it's usually why I'm so late to the bridge -"
"You use the time to catch up with the staff on shift ascertaining if they have any necessary needs you need to accommodate."
It's like he understands her. Even though Jamie barely understands her irrational thinking at times. For the first time since Spock started working as her First Officer, she feels like she does know what she is doing after all. Jamie feels her face flush, it takes everything in her power to clear her throat and nod her head.
"The bridge is still waiting for your arrival, Captain."
"Right. Of Course." Jamie and Spock started walking to the bridge together once more. "And do call me Jamie, even on shift. Most of the Senior members do. They find it helps them when it comes to granting my wishes to keep my anonymity for as long as I can."