Bella's Point of View
In the cover of darkness, Rosalie and Edward ran at my side, quiet as a whisper, through the forest. One location in mind. A small house, just inside the town of Forks. The house I had called home for a brief amount of time.
It was raining heavily, our clothing was soaked. There was a faint burning in the back of my throat as we approached the town. Uncomfortable, but a manageable feeling. I was feeling anxious and a bit uncertain of myself. I've never been in proximity to humans, since I was turned. The Cullens' kept me on their vast property that only offered wildlife and thick, twisting woods. Totally isolated from the rest of the world. This would be new for me. And I didn't know how I would react.
"Calm down Bella, we are almost there, it's time to focus." Rosalie said, giving me a kind smile.
I nodded, sucking in one last breath. Edward mentioned it would be easier if I held my breath, less painful. I didn't want to risk the possibility of losing control over myself. I saw the consequences of that happening first hand. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I didn't want anyone to have to go through what I did. It motivated me to be strong.
We paused just as we reached the property. I could see the house from my spot behind the massive oak tree in the front yard. There were sounds coming from the house, voices, utensils scraping across plates, a general rumble of calm conversation. Listening closer, I could hear heartbeats. Three of them. I could hear the blood rushing through their bodies. Sense the heat coming from them.
My throat burned aggressively. It reminded me of the pain of my transition. I flinched against the pain and took a few steps back.
Edward moved to hold his hand out to me, concern reaching his eyes. "Are you alright?"
I nodded, taking his hand. The contact with him grounded me. I allowed myself to relax and unstiffen my posture. For a moment, I just focused on Edward's face, until I could compose myself.
"Do you want to leave?" Rosalie asked, watching between the two of us.
"No, I'd really like to… just get a glimpse of him."
They both nodded with thoughtful expressions. They supported my choice and would remain at my side, to help me get through this.
I was curious to find out who was in the house with him. So, the three of us scaled the house, remaining out of sight. We found ourselves by the window that peered into the kitchen. The window was cracked open just slightly. There were a few different scents that permeated the air. Both disgusting in nature. One, I was sure of, was food. Possibly fish, or some kind of seafood. The other was a bit harder to decipher. It was earthy, wet. It brought a shiver of disgust to roll down my body.
"You noticed the smell." Edward muttered quietly.
I glanced at him. "Yeah, what is that… stench?"
"That's something we will have to have a chat about later." Rosalie said, her nose wrinkling. Clearly she could smell it as well.
Without making any noise, we climbed the nearby tree to get a clear sight inside the kitchen window. There sitting around the table as Charlie and two others. I didn't recognize them. The two strangers appeared to be natives of La Push. My memory was a little blurry. The events that have happened in my past were becoming more and more difficult to remember. But I recalled La Push. Charlie had taken me there a few times in my youth. Mostly for fishing. It wasn't enjoyable, but there were a few older girls there that I had played with. And their younger brother. I couldn't remember their names.
But they all had beautiful, sun-kissed skin and dark hair. Just like the two men, seated at Charlie's table. One was in a wheelchair, close to Charlie in age and the other was just a boy. A bit younger than me. Maybe fifteen. They didn't appear to be a threat. In fact, the way they all talked, it sounded as if they were long time friends.
That was a relief. At least Charlie wasn't completely alone. He had friends. That gave me a little hope. Maybe he would be alright. A smile came to my face as I saw Charlie laughing at something one of them said.
So, he was okay. He was capable of happiness. That's all I wanted to see.
Unfortunately, my relief turned to horror, as I saw tears start down Charlie's face. I listened closer as he spoke.
"Bella would have loved that story. I just… can't believe she is gone." He sounded like he was on the verge of sobbing.
The two men were quick to attempt a change in topic.
"I'm sure they will find her. Let's just focus on the positives. You've had a really good day today with the therapist. There is life after loss." The older man spoke. "When I lost my wife, things seemed hopeless, but it's not true. Things get easier."
"She's not dead Billy." Charlie shouted, moving roughly to his feet. His emotions were all over the place. He was worse off than I had first realized. Now, I was concerned.
Edward gently squeezed my hand, sensing my distress. His touch soothed me, but only for a second. I couldn't peel my eyes off of the scene. My dad was hurting, confused and lashing out. He even was seeking therapy. Which was something he claimed, he didn't believe in.
Knowing this, only filled me with more rage against Jasper. It was his fault that my father was hurting like this. The pain he had brought me, just continued on, affecting the rest of the people in my life. Even though I knew it was unfair of me to think this way. I couldn't help it.
"Alright, you're right. She hasn't been found yet. It's possible that she is still out there." Billy replied quickly. I could see this man was trying to remain realistic. The day I had been attacked, it had been all over the news stations of Forks. Investigators were on the scene. They searched the entire forest. Only finding fragments of my clothing and personal items. And of course, the large amount of blood from the attack.
At the moment, the police weren't making too many statements. Just that it was a possible homicide. There weren't any animal tracks, but an obvious sign of struggle. So, it's believed that I was murdered, or kidnapped. Because of the amount of blood found, they were leaning towards murder.
This couldn't be easy for Charlie.
"When I find the person responsible, I will kill the bastard myself." Charlie snapped as he plopped back down in his seat. He threw his head back as he gulped down a beer. I took note of the table. There were several opened beer cans littered around him.
Was that how he was getting by each day? Drinking himself silly? I didn't want that for him. I wanted him to move on with his life. Even more so, I wanted to let him know that I was alright. He needed to resume his life. But my hands were tied. I couldn't talk to him. It would be more dangerous for him to be aware of me, even if I could manage to keep in control of myself.
Carlisle had explained previously, there was a group of powerful vampires that ruled over the rest. And the only law, that they actively pursued punishment for, was revealing our nature, to the humans. It would result in the death of all involved. I wouldn't risk it. I wanted my father to live. I wanted to bring him some form of comfort.
"I wish there was something… I could do. To bring him a little hope. Or some comfort." I whispered quietly.
Rosalie and Edward exchanged looks, before nodding to each other. Wordlessly, Rose handed me a book.
This has been the same book I was reading, the day of the accident. I hadn't realized that they had gone back to gather some of my things. 'Withering Heights'. It was one of my favorites.
Edward passed a pen over to me with a rueful smile. "If you would like to say something to him, something that could comfort him a little, you can write it in this book. We can leave it behind for him to find."
I couldn't help but smile as I looked at the two of them. "Really? Do you think that would be okay?" I moved a little more under the tree, preventing most of the rain from reaching the paperback book.
"As long as you don't reveal anything that has happened to you. It should be okay." Rosalie said with a nod.
There was so much I wanted to say to him. But at the moment, the words just weren't there. I turned the book open to the front page and searched my mind for the right thing to express.
Dad, no matter the distance, or length of time we spent apart, I've always been there. In your heart and thoughts. A time will come that we will take our separate paths in life. But I hope you will know, I'm still there. Beating in your chest. And you, beating in mine. No matter where I am, no matter where you are.
I love you, forever. Bells.
That was it. All I could think to say. I knew there was more. I wanted to thank him for all he has done. I wanted to tell him that I'm okay. But I didn't want to make it sound like a 'goodbye'.
Edward and Rose approved of the note and once I decided that I was ready to leave, they left the book under the cover of the porch. Partially under the outdoor rug. Most likely, it would be found quickly. I truly hoped it would at least offer some form of comfort. But I would never know.
This would most likely be the last time I would ever see my father. Carlisle planned on us leaving soon. Tomorrow afternoon at the latest. They decided on Alaska. Apparently they had relatives from there. Once every few decades, they would switch territories for a while. The group from Denali would come to Forks to live, while the Cullens' went to stay in Alaska. They had agreed to the arrangement.
As we left the house, Rose decided to head back to the others, leaving Edward to take me on a little hunting trip. My throat burned, probably the worst it's felt since I finished my transition. But I never felt like I was about to lose control. Not for even a second. If I had, I would have left. I'm assuming it was easier because of all the hunting I've been doing in the last few days. I wanted to make sure the bloodlust dormant inside of me wouldn't come out.
The two of us sprinted around the woods, the moon light glowing overhead. The forest that surrounded the Cullen household was massive and very thick with wildlife. The rain seemed to mute the scent trail of some of the smaller animals, which made the hunt more fun. The stalking and sneaking around, it brought a sense of thrill to the task. But my focus had taken a turn for the worse. I kept seeing the image of Charlie, each and every time I locked onto my prey. It was unsettling. There was a hesitation in my movements that Edward instantly picked up on.
"Is something troubling you?" He asked as we slowed down to a walk. I'd only managed to take down a single deer. Every other opportunity, I couldn't bring myself to attack.
I sighed, running a hand through my wet hair. The rain had stopped a little bit ago, but it wouldn't stay away for long. I could sense the shifting in the weather. "I just have a lot on my mind. About Charlie. And the move to Alaska."
Edward nodded, his eyes searching my face for a moment. "Do you want to talk about it? I don't like seeing you upset."
"I'm just having a hard time accepting myself. In my heart, I love my father. I'd never hurt him. But in my mind… I want to drink his blood. I want to see him as prey. I don't know how to stop these thoughts. I don't want to be this monster." I admitted, wrapping my arms around myself. Just admitting this outloud was soul-crushing. It validated those thoughts and feelings. I felt disgusting.
"Having those thoughts doesn't make you a monster. It's now in your nature to feel that way. It would be unnatural to feel differently than that." Edward commented, a gentle smile came to his face as he approached me. "The fact that you don't want to act on those thoughts, is how you know, you aren't a monster. Your heart remains human. Which is rare to see in a newborn. In the first few years, they usually only have thoughts of blood. Their humanity is lost for a while. You are truly impressive Bella." Softly, his hand came out to touch a few strands of my hair.
His touch elicited my body's sudden reaction. My chest tightened, to the point all the breath inside me vanished. I trembled slightly as he tenderly moved the hair behind my ear. For a moment, his hand lingered by my cheek. Our eyes met.
Both of us appeared to swallow. I felt myself moving forward, letting his hand come into contact with my cheek. His smooth hand felt so nice. Electricity ran down my spine. It felt like I was falling for a moment. As if the Earth had disappeared under my feet. My sudden reaction would have been to throw myself into his arms. Go to the man that made me feel safe. The person that I cared for. My savior.
I wasn't sure how long we stood. Not breathing, not blinking. I could see there was a battle raging in Edward. He was conflicted, there were a few moments I thought he would move his hand away, but he didn't.
There was a sinking feeling in my gut, I was coming to a realization. I wanted him. I wanted him to like me… as more than just a friend. Of course, I'd never deserve to be by his side. But I still hoped for it. That he would consider me. However the fear of rejection kept me silent.
"Bella," He breathed, his body shifting more. His hand moved away. Instead, his strong arms moved around me into a hug.
I melted into his arms, relaxing completely.
"Yes Edward?"
"I've struggled with my existence for a very long time. I didn't know what my purpose was. I didn't even know the meaning of happiness, until I met you. I think… you are my purpose."
My hands moved to rest on his shoulders. "I feel the same way. There really is nothing else. Just you. You're the reason I'm here, alive and trying to accept this new life."
Slowly, he leaned down, I felt his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes. It felt like the world around us went completely quiet. The forest could have caught fire around us, but I wouldn't have noticed. I breathed in his scent, enjoying the subtle hint of sunflowers.
"I'd like… to kiss you." He said quietly.
Again, my body trembled, but this time, in excitement. Without replying to his comment, I leaned up onto my tip-toes and softly pressed my lips to his.
He jumped, taken off guard for just the briefest moment, before pulling me closer, deepening our kiss.
It was the highlight of my life. At this moment, nothing else mattered. For the first time, since beginning this new life, I had something to look forward to. Exploring this new relationship with Edward.
In the distance, an eerie howl sounded, causing the both of us to freeze. In seconds, Edward moved me roughly behind him, right in time for three huge wolves to burst from the tree line, they came barreling towards us. Full of aggression and fury. The look on Edward's face suggested that we were in trouble. But I couldn't connect the dots. Why were these creatures a danger to us? And if that was the case, would we make it out of this encounter in one piece?
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Hopefully, I'll be able to update this story once more today. But no promises