F/N1 from AC: It seems that most readers agree that based on that last chapter, Chuck and Sarah are crap communicators in any universe! Keep in mind how young everyone is in this story as compared to their ages and experiences in canon. And that in this story, Chuck got kicked out of Stanford and dumped by Jill only a month before meeting Sarah. Having said that, it's good that these two have some mentors around to lay some wisdom on them.
Continued thanks to Captainrick944 for his efforts in editing and refining this story, enhancing the reading experience.
And I'm still not in ownership of Chuck.
Chuck and Sarah vs the Makeover
CHAPTER 14: A Kiss is Just a Kiss
May 1, 2004
Thursday Afternoon: Day 4 of the Los Angeles Mission
The ride back to the Bartowski apartment was quiet, Chuck and Sarah each left to their own thoughts. Once they were back at the apartment, Sarah stiffly and quickly retreated to the bedroom, where Carina was hiding.
Devon, currently hanging upside down and doing sit-ups, greeted Chuck.
Suddenly, the bedroom door opened, and Carina hurried out, head down, as she mumbled something about grabbing a drink. She headed to the fridge and grabbed a couple of sodas. She had closed the door and taken a few steps away when she suddenly turned, reopened the fridge, and took Ellie's leftover wine bottle. She added two cups to her collection and then scurried back to the bedroom.
Chuck and Devon just watched it all unfold. Both found it humorous, while Chuck also found it perplexing.
"Okay, well, that's different," Chuck commented, his brow furrowed from confusion.
Devon let out a hearty laugh and lowered himself down.
"Different was seeing how embarrassed Carina and Morgan were when I walked in on them kissing."
Chuck slowly turned to stare at Devon, his eyes and mouth wide open in surprise. When he finally found his voice, he only managed to say, "Morgan? Carina? Kissing?"
"Actually," Devon admitted, "I didn't see them kissing. When I entered the door, they were standing in front of the couch, but their lips and flushed faces told the story. Been there, done that." He grinned broadly, adding, "It was muy caliente! Way to go, Morgan!"
Chuck, with surprise and some anger on his face, looked at Devon. "No. No. Not way to go. Bad Morgan. I need to talk to him. May have to kill him. He's supposed to be protecting, not kissing. Right?" Then, Chuck recalled his own kissing actions of the day. With less vehemence in his voice, he repeated, "Right?"
Devon was a little surprised at Chuck's angry reaction. He just found the whole situation cute and humorous. "Chuckster, I don't think there are any rules other than both need to be consenting adults." Devon slapped Chuck on the back. "I thought the girls were trying to make the best of it and treat this like a vacation? "
"Yeah. I don't know. I guess? I am kind of confused right now. I think I screwed up," Chuck confessed.
"Talk to me, buddy." Devon motioned for Chuck to join him in the kitchen as he mixed up a protein shake.
"So, Sarah and I went someplace that I thought was safe to check out something she has in her possession. We've been flying so blind here, we were looking for any information. Well, it wasn't as safe as I hoped, and soon, several of those goons in suits who were chasing her showed up."
"Holy crap, Chuck! But you got away or wouldn't be here, right?" Devon responded, alarmed.
"Yeah, yeah, we got away, but that's not where I messed up," Chuck clarified. "As part of our escape, I ended up kissing Sarah."
Devon held up his hand for a high five. "Way to go, Chuckster!"
Chuck stared in bewilderment at Devon. He shook his head, "No, no. It wasn't romantic. It was for a cover."
"Oh. So, she got mad and slapped you?" Devon put his hand down.
"No, no, no. It was later. I was apologizing for kissing her. I was trying to explain that it was just for the cover and, you know, that I wasn't looking for a girlfriend or anything sketchy. I don't get it. I was just trying not to make her mad, but I made her mad."
A drawn-out "Duuude" was Devon's response. "Major mistake. You made her feel unwanted." He shook his head. "Rule number one with women is to make them feel wanted. The inverse corollary is don't make them feel unwanted. Actually, it's more than feeling wanted, than just being desired. They want to feel like you have an existential need for them. You know, who doesn't like feeling that way? Make them feel safe and wanted. Everyone wants to love and be loved. So, in your attempt to downplay the kiss, you made her feel unwanted. Dude, it's kind of like a slap in the face." Devon shook his head and said, "Not awesome, Chuck."
Chuck was stunned at this revelation. His retort was upset and angry. "But...but…what should I have done? I am still mad about Jill and Bryce. I'm not sure I want another woman in my life." Then, lost for a moment in thought, his expression slightly softened. "Even one as amazing as Sarah."
"Well, that's the crux of it." Devon put his hands on Chuck's shoulders. "Are you interested in something developing between you two? If the answer is no, you can drop the subject and be secure, knowing you have ended any chance of getting together with her. If you want to see if there is something between you two, then you need to let her know that she is wanted, that you are interested in her."
"But what if I don't know?" Chuck asked, looking down and shaking his head. "I mean, on the one hand, I feel a connection with her. But, on the other hand, she is only here for a few days. I mean, why bother? Why not just move on and go back to my routine, my regular life? It would be easier to stay away if she is mad, but I hate the thought of her feeling bad because of something I said."
Devon thought about things momentarily, returning to preparing his shake. He finally looked up and said, "If that's what you really want, then go back to that. But I don't think you really want to be alone with the Buy More as your future. Maybe this could lead to a better future for you. Who knows?" he asked with a shrug.
Devon poured himself a glass of green goodness and took a big drink. "Here's what I do know. We have today. I deal with people every day, of all ages, who are suddenly struck down by a heart problem. Plan for tomorrow, but live for today. If you enjoy being with her, take that opportunity now, and let tomorrow take care of itself."
Chuck nodded, thinking about Devon's profound thoughts. They made him think about Sarah and a lot more about his life. How did he want to live today?
Devon held up the blender full of juice and offered, "You sure you don't want some juice? It's got everything good for you." He winked and added, "And it's good for your wang energy."
Chuck's eyes went wide, and in a high-pitched voice, hurried to say, "Okay, I didn't need to hear that from my sister's boyfriend. And I don't need any encouragement in that lower, groinal area." With that said, he turned to walk out of the kitchen. Suddenly, he popped back into the kitchen, pointed his finger at Devon, and said, "And definitely keep that away from Morgan." He then went out front and sat on the fountain's edge to think about things.
Chuck thought about what Devon said about missing out on life and letting the days pass by. How long are you going to hang out at the Buy More, Chuck? It's cool to hang out with Morgan, but what am I really accomplishing? Helping Sarah reminded me I could do something good and make a difference. And that's not going to happen hanging out at the Buy More. Bryce may have stolen Stanford from me, but I still have my brain. I wrote all those hacker programs. I could repurpose them as some kind of antivirus or security software. Maybe Morgan and I could make some kind of little game app? I may not have a degree, but I have my coding skills.
Charles Irving Bartowski, it's time to take back your future. It's time that I start living each and every day. And what about Sarah? She will be gone in a few days, but she sure makes me feel alive right now. I'm not letting Bryce steal my future; I shouldn't let Jill take my heart. It would be stupid for me to pass on getting to know someone amazing like Sarah just because Jill turned out to be a bitch. I mean, Sarah is incredible. She moves so gracefully, like a big cat, and she's smart and has a quick mind. And when she actually does smile, it's breathtaking. But, more than anything else, the way I feel with her when our eyes meet, it's like we are connected. I can see and feel how she is doing. And, it feels like she is looking into me, like she feels the same thing. Of course, now that she is styling her hair and wearing nice clothes, she is even more stunning. Maybe she is ready to step up to the major league of men and leave me behind in the minor league. I can't say I blame her. It's not like I'm some great catch. But how she looks at me hasn't changed from before Ellie gave her a makeover. Why wouldn't I want to give this a chance? Well, Chuck, welcome to the first day of the rest of your life. And it's going to be my life, the way I want to make it. I guess the first thing I need to do is check in with Sarah. I don't know if Sarah feels the same about me, but I don't want her feeling bad. I need to go try to patch that up.
Once Sarah had returned to the apartment, she hurried into the bedroom, her body stiff, her face closed.
Carina was practicing walking in her kitten heels. So, she was wobbly when she excitedly turned to greet Sarah. "You won't believe what happened!" she exclaimed. As she approached Sarah, Carina noticed her restrained appearance. "You look like you have your own story," she noted and hugged Sarah.
"Wait a moment. I'll be right back, and we'll talk," Carina told her. She kicked off her shoes and left the room. She soon returned with a bottle of wine, cups, and sodas.
"What's wrong? Did something bad happen?" Carina inquired, concerned. She poured them soda, handed Sarah her cup, and sat on the bed. Sarah started pacing around the room.
"We went someplace Chuck thought was safe and protected. He thought we could open the device and try to learn something, get some information, safely, without signaling the bad guys." Sarah paused to take a drink and recall the events.
Carina bounced her heel on the floor, trying to contain her energy. Between her own news and Sarah's unsettledness, she was wound up. But she managed to stay quiet and wait for Sarah to finish.
Sarah continued, "Apparently, the location wasn't as protected as he hoped because as soon as Chuck opened the device, something triggered, and the bad guys showed up before we could learn anything."
"Oh no!" Carina exclaimed at the turn of events.
"Obviously, we got away, but it wasn't easy. Chuck figured a way to escape, where we acted like boyfriend and girlfriend." Sarah paused, debating whether to mention this next thing. Deciding that she needed Carina's perspective, she added. "He even kissed me."
Carina couldn't hold back a gasp.
Sarah blushed, looked down, and quickly completed the story. "We snuck away and eventually drove back here."
Sarah sat down in the desk chair, seeming to deflate a little with the end of the story.
Carina stood, gathered their cups, and made sure they were empty of the soda. This time, she pulled the cork from the wine bottle. She held the bottle up, saying, "I could use a little to take the edge off. Do you want some?"
Sarah thought for a moment, then nodded her head.
Carina then added a little wine to both of their cups. Handing Sarah her cup, Carina sat on the bed across from her. "Is that what has you upset? Are you mad because he kissed you?" she inquired.
Sarah sipped at her drink, working on understanding what she was feeling.
Carina sipped at her drink, finding the wine warm and calming. She waited for Sarah's reply to what she thought was a simple question. So, what is really bothering you? Are you mad or not?
"Not really. I mean, I understand why he needed to do it at the time. But then he acted like a jerk about it. He made a big deal about apologizing and saying it didn't mean anything." Sarah stood up, crossed her arms, and began pacing. She laughed harshly, "He told me that he wasn't looking for a girlfriend, so I shouldn't make a big deal about it." She turned to Carina and affronted, loudly declared, "When did I say I wanted a boyfriend? Who does he think he is? Thinking his kiss is a big deal. I know we're only here for a few days. It doesn't matter that I liked it. He needs to get over himself. " Sarah huffed, took a deep breath, then took a big drink from her cup.
For Sarah, what she had just admitted hadn't registered in her mind. However, Carina noticed, "So, you are mad he apologized and explained that he wasn't interested?"
"Yeah! I mean, no. It's no big deal. Like I said, I'm not interested in guys, let alone finding a boyfriend." Sarah defensively replied.
"So why are you so wound up about this?" Carina pressed.
Sarah gave her a flat look, took a deep breath, and calmly said, "I'm not. It's no big deal. "
Carina grinned to lighten the mood and said, "Right. No big deal. I've got to say, though, you keep mentioning an attraction to Chuck, but then you deflect and talk about leaving. It sounds like you are a little confused about what you want."
Sarah glared at her.
"And between the kiss and his apology, it sounds like he's confused, too. But the way I see him looking at you, I think he is interested. I don't know how to unconfuse him, but you need to unconfuse yourself. You need to figure out how you feel about that kiss." Carina held her cup in cheers and teased, "I'm hoping you go for it."
Sarah was not amused. This isn't funny. This sucks. She's right, though. I feel something when I'm with Chuck that I haven't felt before. But that doesn't matter, right? I'm an F.B.I. employee working on an important assignment. The mission needs to come first. And what happened today proves that it's still dangerous out there. So, what's his deal, kissing me and confusing things? I don't have time for this now! Sarah wasn't sure what to do. She only knew how she felt. Mad. At everyone at the moment, she didn't want to think about it. So she turned the conversation back on Carina and frostily asked, "So what is your big news?"
Carina perked up, reminded of her own little adventure. She looked over at the confused and sulking Sarah. With a mischievous glint in her eye and a little pride in her voice, she boldly announced, "I kissed Morgan!" How about them apples?!
That news was surprising enough to snap Sarah out of her funk. Her head snapped up, and her mouth dropped open. "What? How?"
Carina popped up and began excitedly moving around the room as she got caught up in her story. "So, I talked to Morgan and complimented him on his bravery yesterday. I told him that back home, we baked things for people to thank them and that I was sorry I couldn't make him something. So, I asked him how people around here rewarded someone for a good job, and he mentioned that he once got a trophy for wrestling."
Sarah furrowed her brow, trying to follow the story from baking to trophies.
Carina stopped, put her fists on her hips, elbows out, and proudly explained, "Well, I wrestled with my brothers back home, so I challenged him."
That made Sarah's eyebrows go up. Wrestling? With Morgan?
Now, Carina was fully animated, waving her hands around, reliving and replaying the events. "I started chasing him around the couch, and we ended up falling on it."
Carina stilled, and her voice softened. "So, I was laying on top of him, face to face, and I was suddenly aware that this wasn't my brother." She looked at Sarah, eyebrow raised, wordlessly expressing, 'You know what I mean?'.
Sarah was slack-jawed. Who is this, and what have they done with quiet, farm girl Carina?
Carina smiled, explaining, "He was just so adorable, and it felt so intense that I just up and kissed him." She touched her fingers to her lips, "It was nice. His lips were soft and moist and warm." She suddenly shivered, recalling the sensation of the kiss.
Sarah couldn't help but remember the similar feel of Chuck's lips and how the moment felt too brief.
Her reverie was broken by Carina's sudden laugh. "Suddenly, we heard Devon at the door. We jumped up, Devon came in, and I ran in here."
Sarah wasn't sure what to make of it all. Carina made out with Morgan?! Supposedly naïve, reserved Carina was chasing a guy around the room and kissing him! Carina said she wanted to try new things, but I never imagined this. "I don't know what to say? What's gotten into you? This doesn't seem like you."
Carina gleefully agreed. "Exactly. I would never have done something like that before this trip. But it's like Ellie said. It's about taking control of my own life. I wanted a kiss, so I had one, when I wanted, with someone I wanted to kiss, on my own terms. And I liked it." She defiantly admitted.
Carina paced around the room as she opened up about what she was thinking and feeling. "Before, I always did what my parents and the church told me. I had no control. Then I met you, and I admired you for your independence. But I noticed that for all your independence, you really weren't free at all."
Sarah looked at her with surprise. What do you mean? Of course, I am independent and free. I do what I want, and nobody can tell me any different.
Carina continued her speech, "Because, while you could choose anything, due to your dad's influence or whatever, you seem to always choose 'No' and 'Don't do it.' It seems to me that you don't have control or freedom unless 'Yes' is an option. So now, I am choosing yes. I am not going to be afraid. I am going to try new things. You don't have to go along with what I do, but I will try explore what life can offer me. I want to start living by my own rules." She grinned at Sarah. "You ought to give saying Yes a try. It seems pretty fun so far ."
The truth of Carina's words hit Sarah hard. I am independent and strong, but how many days and nights did I stay in my room? Especially before Carina moved in. How many exciting things did I pass by on the street as I hid in my bubble? On the one hand, I really love the stability of my job. But is that all I want from life? Is that really living? And is this the time to be thinking about it? Why did it happen that I had this crisis dropped on me at the same time I met a guy unlike anyone else I've met? How does that happen? And am I underestimating the importance of making a connection like this? I mean, all those movies and T.V. shows that I used to watch made a big deal about finding someone. And there's all the romance novels that Carina reads. They all say that finding someone you connect with is the most important thing of all. Why couldn't I have met Chuck back home instead of in the middle of this?
Their discussion was interrupted when Chuck knocked on their door. He asked them to come into the living room.
"How are you guys doing? Sarah, are you feeling okay after everything that happened? I've got to admit that I'm still shaken up by it. I just feel kind of odd." he admitted.
Odd is a good way to put it. But I'm not letting him know how I'm feeling. "No, I'm good. I'm a big city girl. I can take care of myself. We got away, so no worries."
Carina smirked at Sarah's bravado.
Chuck withdrew, sensing the angry undercurrent in Sarah's reply. So, he turned to Carina. "Everything good with you? Um, any problems with Morgan? Do I need to talk to him?" he tentatively asked.
Carina wasn't expecting that question, so she stammered before answering, "No! I mean, yes, everything's good. No, you don't need to talk to Morgan. I mean, why would you need to talk to Morgan?"
Chuck hesitantly continued, "Well, he's not here. And, Devon motioned, you seemed flustered when he came home."
Carina realized that there was no way to avoid explaining, so she decided to own it. She plainly stated, "Well, that's because I kissed Morgan. Don't be mad at him. I kissed him. It's on me."
Sarah was surprised again at this new, bolder Carina.
Chuck was a bit more stunned, hearing that Carina had made a move on Morgan. That just didn't seem possible. But, with the way things were going, who knows?
Not sure where to take that conversation, he turned back to Sarah to try apologizing again. He just didn't want her to be upset and feel bad.
"Listen, I wanted to say that I'm sorry for how I handled things this afternoon. I was trying to assure you that I wasn't trying to take advantage of the situation. It's not about you. I know any guy would like to go out with a great woman like you. I'm the mess. I'm the one who is soured on dating. So, all that came out wrong when I said I wasn't interested. Who am I to think anyone would want to date me anyway. I'm a nerd." In his typical manner, Chuck used his self-deprecating humor to diffuse things.
The girls were surprised to hear this guy, who they viewed as their hero, thought so little of himself. Sarah noticed he avoided meeting her eyes.
Carina shook her head. What an indecisive pair. They like each other but won't act on it. Maybe I'll have to show him if she doesn't appreciate how sweet that was.
Sarah was lost in her own thoughts. This is so frustrating. I need to stay focused on the mission, and today was a reminder that this isn't a game. But, right now, the mission is just waiting. So, nothing is preventing me from getting to know Chuck better. I mean, after he says something so sweet and considerate as that. I just can't stay mad at him. It makes me want to understand how a person can be so selfless and caring. I feel connected and exposed to each other when he looks into my eyes. Yet it makes me feel safe? Who are you, Chuck Bartowski? What makes you tick? A small smile spread across her face as she remembered. And he said I was a great woman. Finally, Sarah gave Chuck a shy smile and said, "Okay. I mean, we're okay. I appreciate your concern. Thanks for caring."
They were interrupted by Ellie's arrival. The group greeted her in chorus. Devon came out of the kitchen with her glass of wine in hand. After a kiss and hug, they parted, and she was immediately surrounded by the other young ladies. Carina excitedly explained that they needed to talk.
So, the girls dragged her to their bedroom to talk. After a moment, Ellie came back out and told the boys to make spaghetti. Sarah and Carina hung back and watched from the bedroom doorway because they learned so much from how Ellie managed different situations.
The guys looked at each other and shrugged, then got to work. Devon headed to the store for veggies and sauce. Chuck started on the baked meatballs like Ellie had taught him.
Carina and Sarah watched all of this unfold. Carina leaned over to Sarah and whispered, "We definitely need a couple of those back home. If we don't find boyfriends, can we get houseboys?" They both giggled at that thought.
Ellie closed the door, sat in the desk chair, and drank some wine before asking, with a raised eyebrow, "So what's up?"
Sarah went first, telling of her and Chuck's trip to visit his friend, how opening the player caused the bad guys to show up, and their subsequent escape. She decided to leave out the part about Chuck kissing her.
Ellie listened carefully and then recommended that they not mess with the player again until the rendezvous and drop-off.
Ellie then turned to Carina and asked her what she wanted to talk about while taking another sip of her wine.
With her excitement rekindled, Carina gleefully told Ellie, "I kissed Morgan!"
Ellie almost choked on her wine, surprised by the news. She could only stare wordlessly at Carina, her eyebrows raised to her bangs.
Carina started getting a little nervous at Ellie's silence. She tentatively inquired, "Did I do something wrong? Did I make you mad?"
Ellie snapped out of her daze. "No, no, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm not mad at you. I'm just surprised and upset that Morgan would try to put the moves on you. Do I need to talk with him?"
Carina vigorously shook her head, "That's the same thing Chuck said. No. Morgan didn't do anything wrong. I kissed him because I wanted to. Like you said, I took control of my life and actions. And I liked it," she added with a note of defiance.
Ellie was still processing the news, but she wanted to be supportive. "Well, good for you, I guess. It's just extra weird because it's Morgan. So, tell me, what exactly happened?"
Carina was animated as she told her story of his bravery, rewards, wrestling, and the chasing, catching, and kissing she instigated.
Ellie looked at Sarah, surprised at the story.
Sarah looked back, eyes wide, indicating her shared surprise, and gave her a palms-up shrug. "She said she wanted to try new things."
Ellie couldn't suppress a shudder. "I know. I just didn't expect it to be Morgan. So, Carina, how serious is this? Do you want him to be your boyfriend?"
Carina shook her head. "No," she admitted. She looked down, then looked back up, her cheeks tinged pink, as she confessed, "I don't even want him to be the only man I kiss while I am here."
Sarah was shocked to hear that. Seriously, who are you, and where's the hesitant Carina? I guess she has been talking about doing more and meeting more people for a while. It's just startling to see it happen.
"Okay, then you need to let him know that. He gets easily attached, and I am sure your kiss rocked his world." She grinned at Carina, causing her to blush even more. "So let him know that it was fun but a one-time thing. Tell him you enjoyed it but are interested in other men. Whatever you do, don't tell him it was a mistake or that you regret it. That can wreck a guy's confidence." Then she took a big drink of her wine.
Carina thanked her for the advice and mulled over her thoughts.
Sarah just sat quietly, thinking over her own situation with Chuck.
Ellie, being a nosy instigator, asked, "What about Chuck? Do I need to talk to him? Has he kissed either of you?" She was pleased to see their responses.
Carina's head snapped up to look at Sarah.
Sarah looked down and blushed.
"Sarah, is that a yes?" Ellie pushed a mischievous smile on her face.
"Well, while we were escaping, he kissed me," she admitted, hurriedly adding, "But he apologized and told me he wasn't trying anything."
Ellie wasn't sure, but it seemed like Sarah was disappointed about that.
"So, do you want me to talk to him? Tell him to not do that again?" Ellie asked.
"No!" Sarah said, maybe a bit too quickly and emphatically. "No. He didn't do anything wrong, either. He even apologized again in case he made me uncomfortable."
Seeing Ellie draw out her friend and figure out what was going on made Carina even more impressed by her. So, she chimed in, "Yeah, it was the sweetest thing."
Sarah ducked her head but couldn't hide the smile that sprouted as she remembered it. He said I was great.
Ellie took another drink of wine and announced, "Well, good then. We've decided that we don't touch the device until the drop-off and that both of you like being kissed. Good talk." She grinned as she left the room.
The girls sat for a moment, mouths agape, struck by Ellie's comment. Then Carina looked over at Sarah and shrugged. "Sounds like we might have some interesting days ahead." She then followed Ellie to the kitchen.
Sarah had no idea what to make of this turn of events, so she just followed along.
The boys served up a terrific spaghetti dinner. Ellie explained to the guys that everyone agreed to not touch the device until the drop off. They spent the rest of the meal trying to put the drama behind them, helped by Chuck telling funny stories about the Buy More.
F/N2 from AC: Thank you for the reading and reviewing support for Wade's story. At this point, we are about 2/3 of the way through the story. I will be going back to an accelerated posting schedule for chapter updates, releasing one every 4 days or so. I hope that everyone continues to enjoy this story about these crazy kids.