All familiar characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I am not making any money from this. Mistakes are mine.
Even the Pup is an Unmentionable by Debra8652
Chapter 37 - this will refer to Chapter 28 of Asking for a Friend
Remy's POV
It's Fathers Day! I've been looking forward to it forever, or maybe it's only been for the three weeks since I learned about it. I don't remember it from last year - I was just a little guy then. I am a big boy now - 35 lbs. - my little Australian Shepherd friend Kimmy says that's 16 kg.
My Dad D popped in late Saturday night but he said it was already Sunday where he popped from. Hmm. Anyway, he loved his new board shorts and will be even more of a chick magnet when he wears them when he pops back to Majorca.
It's officially Sunday now in Trenton. My friend Bobby Brown gave Mom's Man half a dose of Flexeril after yesterday's incident when Mom said that he did and said some things that were very unRanger-like. Even with taking the full dose yesterday he said his back still hurt but he didn't care - not even a little.
Mom and I gave Her Man the framed photo that Hector took of all of us - Mom, me, Rex and Freddy. He really liked it and will have Hector print off more copies for his offices at the other Rangeman branches and on seventh floor.
This morning we are headed to my Grandma and Grandpa Plum's house - that's where my Great Grandma Edna lives, too. My Aunt Valerie, Albert, and the girls will be there for a late breakfast. Santos is coming with us in case Mom can't handle Her Man in his liquid state - Mom said that happens when you have a reptilian resting heart and pulse rate and take muscle relaxants. After that, Santos is driving us to Newark in a big SUV. We will pick up Bobby Brown at Rangeman on our way out of town.
Mom's Man is lying on the middle seat of the SUV and Santos pulls him out by his armpits when we arrive at the Plum House. Mom and Santos surround him to make sure that the girls don't jump on him and to protect him from Great Grandma Mazur. My Grandpa Frank mixes Mom's Man and Santos non-alcoholic Bloody Marys since Lester is driving and Mom's Man's eyes are not working in concert with each other. Grandpa Frank asks Mom if she wants a real Bloody Mary and she said "hit me."
A family style breakfast was served - pancakes, scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, toast, pastries, bagels and fruit. I had eggs and bacon. Nummy. Albert managed to spill both his Bloody Mary and the filling from a jelly donut on his shirt. No wonder Aunt Valerie doesn't feel the need to have a little boy when she has Albert.
When Great Grandma Edna started talking about an apartment building being converted into low-rent senior housing and the building is only half a block away from the old fire station, Mom got a horrified look on her face and told Grandpa Plum to "hit me again" and held out her Bloody Mary glass. And Santos is really regretting being the designated driver today for the same reason. Not sure that Mom's Man is processing the news that Edna may be interested in moving way too close to the newest Rangeman property as he is studiously separating the different types of fruit in his bowl for no apparent reason. Maybe a quarter dose of Flexeril would be better.
Mom had emailed her dad a scan of the photo that she gave Her Man - Grandpa really liked it and turned it into the background on his cell phone. Mom also gave him a portable air conditioning unit for the garage when he wants to escape there this summer. We leave The Burg and head back to Rangeman to pick up Bobby Brown. On to Newark!
We get into our seats in the SUV - Mom's Man is lying on a reflective heat blanket in the middle seats, Lester is driving with Bobby riding shotgun and Mom and I are in the third seats. Mom's Man suddenly asks us about the Person of Short Stature op where Randy Briggs sneaked into a warehouse and collected info for an alphabet agency or two. The check just showed up on the accountant's desk Friday and Mom's Man wanted the details of the op. Luckily for Bobby he wasn't part of it and pled plausible deniability. Mom and Lester were not so lucky. Since we were all in a moving vehicle, they thought it was timely to share the details of Ram shoving Briggs through a second floor window while he was wearing a sparkly pink bicycle helmet with unicorn stickers on it and getting launched headfirst into a toilet. Ram ended up tossing a nylon rope through the window that Briggs grabbed and Ram pulled him out of the toilet so he could complete his mission.
Even though he was groaning with pain, Mom's Man laughed so hard that he had tears running from his eyes. Mom negotiated the contract with the alphabet agencies and, after Mom, Tank, Lester and Ram all declined a share of the money, Hal, Cal, Brett, and Binkie settled for just their usual hourly rate, and Briggs got enough to buy a really nice specially-equipped van for himself, Rangeman still netted $800,000.
Here we are in Newark - Mom had told Abuela and Abuelo Manoso about Her Man's back so they left room in the driveway for the SUV. Lester pulled Mom's Man out of the middle seat again. Since he couldn't really find a comfortable position standing or sitting, Lester asked if he wanted to try lying in the hammock in the backyard. Ok, I foresee some problems with this but if he's comfortable, that's all that matters.
Mom had already emailed a scan of the photo that Grandpa Frank also got and the Manoso kids all went together and had a screened porch added onto the house for eating during family gatherings. At 1:00, the abuelas and Lester's mom announce that dinner is ready. Here's the problem I predicted when they put Mom's Man in the hammock - namely, getting him out of the hammock. Lester is convinced that they can just do a reverse procedure of how they got him in there. Bobby is standing by and Mom is giving serious consideration to videoing this on her phone. They can't get him out of the hammock and decide to just turn the hammock and dump him on the ground. Well, he's on a muscle relaxant, it shouldn't hurt too bad. Someone must have invited Murphy and his confounded laws to the gathering, as Mom's Man's elbow connects with Lester's nose and they both end up on their hands and knees on the ground. Now, I know why Bobby was standing by.
Finally, we all manage to assemble in the screened-in porch and Abuela Rosa gave me a plain hamburger patty. Mom's Man is sitting very uncomfortably in a chair with Mom on his left side. Bobby is in between him and Lester, who is now holding an ice bag to his face. Just another Santos-Manoso family gathering, according to Mom.
After dinner, we plan to leave after packing our share of the leftovers including a full bowl of caramel flan. But we need a new seating chart, as Santos can't drive with an ice bag on his face. Mom's Man is due to have his Flexeril topped off for the ride home - he gets to stay in the middle seat but everyone else plays Fruit Basket Upset. Bobby and Lester end up in the third row of seats so Bobby can keep an eye on the primos, and Mom gets to drive with me riding shotgun. Happy Fathers Day, everyone!
A/N I hope this addresses some of your questions. Your reviews are appreciated!