Note:

I went back to add breaks. They weren't showing up properly on mobile and it read like a mess.

I apologize for that mobile readers, I will endeavor to remember this in the future.

There's also a few points I want to make real quick.

1st, there are so skips in this story. They will basically be points that are similar enough to canon and that we've all read fifteen thousand times. I don't care writing it. I doubt you care for reading it. I understand that a novel wouldn't read the same. But this is fanfiction, and this kind of understanding of the source material is practically a requirement to be considered literate in the media. I will not apologize.

2nd, I created this account when I was a child. Some ten odd years later. I cringe when I read my old stories.

I will leave them available. Some people like them, and being embarrassed about your early art is a rite of passage as any type of artist. I will not hide from it.

3rd. This is AU beyond Sasuke being a girl. I will not draw much attention to this, but keep that in mind if you feel like things are deviating from the canonical world set up in the official Naruto media.

Some credits that are due. Jmenace, Ibluemyself and Dissenter on AO3. This one is basically for you.

Take care everyone.

Naruto was tactile. He was taste and smell. He lived. Fully. Everything he did, he did with all of himself. Every need for sensation was to be gratified. He felt and tasted and fully experienced everything he came into contact with. Every noodle was examined for texture and flavour. Every pretty girl or boy that caught his eye sent his mind racing with indecent thoughts. Every friend he talked to he would touch, get in close, feel the warmth of their breath and the scent of their bodies. Every person he loved, he did so deeply, like a bottomless well of affection, like a monsoon. He was a force of nature in his own need to experience the world. To live. His senses, his consciousness, reaching out to touch the world around him. Because he had been denied it. Because he craved, what they would not give him.

Sasuke was cold. She was a picky eater, finding comfort in mild and familiar flavours. She denied herself, living spartan, denying herself comforts in the pursuit of a hard edge. She erected barriers, shying away from the touch of others. She kept her eyes closed, retreating inwards, focusing herself, every moment of her existence spent honing the edge inside of her. Ignoring her peers, their pleas of attention falling on deaf ears as she denied them herself. She retracted from the world, building her strength from within. If not for the circumstances of her birth... But the world had happened to her.

She was yin. He was yang. Polar opposites in all things. Yet, interconnected. One not able to exist with the other. And alike. Because within yin, is yang. And within yang, is ying. Two opposite forces, with parts of themselves mirrored in the other.

Him, the sun, forced to walk the path of darkness. Her, the moon, shedding light that wasn't hers over the world.

Underbelly

Like every morning, she had arrived early. Not too early. Five minutes to. On the second. She'd taken her usual seat. Something inside of her finding comfort in the familiarity of routine. The ritual. She was immaculate. Clothes clean and pressed, her face set in a studied indifference, fingers interlaced in front of her mouth.

Like every morning, there was a racket. One she did her best to ignore. It grated at her. These children. Blathering away about the inane. Boasting, lying, gossiping. She continously wondered what they even did here. What they were even playing at. The worst thing was that she could feel their eyes on her, her their whispering about her. The boys, with their pubescent ideas of romance, or simple lewdness. The girls, with their blind hero-worship, like her success was their pride.

The thought felt like ashes in her mouth. That somehow, her success was shared with them. That somehow it elevated all of them. When they were useless. Less than useless, even. Useless could be discarded. Their presence, she had to stomach.

There was a scuffle outside the classroom, the voices of two girls increasing in volume as the raced down the hall, bickering about who would sit next to the heroic Sasuke-san. Luckily she wouldn't have to stand them for much longer, soon she would be done with this farce of an academy, just the last exam and then she would be a genin. And one step closer to him.

"No! I'll sit next to her! Ino-pig! I won!" They burst into the room, a tangle of limbs, pink and blonde respectively. Maybe if she didn't move, they wouldn't see her. She knew it was wishful thinking.

"Good morning, Sasuke-san!" The pink one, Sakura, chirped. She didn't respond, and Sakura faltered for a moment, but a look to Ino, her rival, apparently gave her new determination. She took the seat next to her, sending a victorious look over her shoulder to her rival.

She sighed internally, eyes still closed as she waited for the instructor to arrive, at least then the waste of space next to her would shut up.

"Oi! Good morning Sakura-chaaaaan!"

Her eye twitched. The idiot. Of course.

Naruto ran. His damn power had gone out during the night, resetting his alarm clock. He'd woken up at the last second, and what he'd thought was a one of those nice mornings you wake up before your alarm, turned into the cold feeling of adrenaline coursing through his veins as he eyed his watch. He was late.

Usually, he wouldn't have cared all that much, the academy was useless anyways! Who cared about dead daimyo and what samurai killed who, or how to calculate the acceleration of a thrown kunai. As long as you hit the target did it matter?

But today, was not such a day. Today was exam day. Today was the day he became a genin, getting one step closer to becoming Hokage! He threw his jumpsuit on and set off in a dead sprint, shouting warnings and apologies as he navigated the crows like only a streetrat could.

"Sorry Mister! Coming through miss! Watch the cart! Oi, move it fatty!" He pretended that he couldn't see their twisted faces. Their hardset lips. The distaste in their eyes.

He'd show them! He'd show all of them.

The swing squeaked slightly, propelled by the lazy pushes of a single foot, clad in a blue sandal.

An adult stood over the boy, a kindly smile on his face.

"Hey Naruto. Did you know that there's a secret, remedial exam?"

His pipe wobbled slightly, leaving lazy curls of smoke in the air as he watched Naruto run through the woods, fingers steepled under his chin as he smoked. He knew the boy was better than expected at staying hidden. But watching it in action, it was like he had sixth sense. His senses were so sharp and his decision making so fast and fluid, it looked like instinct.

He scowled, he didn't like using him as bait. But there was a minimal chance that Naruto could do something dangerous with the scroll, and the traitor needed to be rooted out. Waving the image, Sarutobi Hiruzen, made to stand.

The Third Lord Hokage of Konoha. It was a striking title for such a dimunitive man. Though, looks could be deceiving. He puffed on his pipe, stroking his beard as he turned to look out over his village, deep in thought.

Had he done the right thing?

Blood. There was blood. On his face. Why was there blood on his face? He blinked his eyes. What was that ringing noise? Why couldn't he focus his eyes?

Suddenly, his senses snapped back to him. Like a burst of cold water in the middle of a hot shower. Iruka-sensei. He'd killed Iruka-sensei.

Mizuki's lips were moving. But he couldn't hear what he said. His world felt like a thunderstorm, his heartbeat thumping like a marching drum, his blood rushing through his ears so loud. He couldn't focus. He could only feel it. The anger.

It was always underneath. Always licking at the edges of his perception like a parasite, the rigtheous anger of the scorned, mostly. But then. Something hungry.

Red clouded his vision. He'd killed Iruka-sensei. Just as he'd had one person. He'd killed him.

The red intruded further, the cold adrenaline replaced with white hot rage. He raised his hands and formed a distinctive cross-shaped seal.

He felt sick. He washed his hands. And then he did it again. He washed his hands again and again and again, until they were raw and red and his cuticles were bleeding. At first he'd been happy. Iruka had lived. He'd even given him his headband. Promised to treat him to ramen. It was like the ending of a great adventure. He'd gained and saved a friend, received a reward, become a real ninja.

He'd gone home to sleep. But during the night, came the images. A hundred fists, impacting flesh and bone. A hundred kicks crunching ribs. The bedsheets were drenched when he awoke, screaming. Screaming until the air ran out of his lungs, and only choking was left. Only then could he draw breath, forcing air down his lungs like he'd been drowning. He remembered the blood as he stared down on his hands. They'd been washed already. But they weren't clean.

He ran to the bathroom, almost ripping the sink off the wall as he stared at his reflection, poorly lit by the flickering bulb in his bathroom light. He needed to replace that, but it couldn't be further from his mind at the moment.

His reflection stared back at him from the mirror. His face was washed too. No traces of blood on it. But... It wasn't clean.

He washed. He washed until blood ran from his cuticles. He washed until his lips broke and cracked, and his skin burnt with it. And then he showered, hot. As if he could scald the filth away from his skin.

The headband felt wrong. She wasn't used to it yet, and she didn't adapt easily to change. But still, there it was. Feeling wrong.

She liked what it represented. Another step closer. Another proof of her power under her belt. She couldn't help but allow herself some satisfaction.

She had even deigned to keep her eyes open today, quietly observing the other genin as they entered the classroom. Some of them had pleasantly surprised her. Most of them were still children playing at ninja. But a select few, seemed to have some understanding.

Nara Shikamaru was a bit more withdrawn than usual. She knew his father was a jounin. No doubt he had informed his son of the realities that came with the headband, and Shikamaru was intelligent enough to listen.

Hyuuga Hinata had looked terrified. Not in the usual, socially anxious way. But like someone who understood what was at stake.

Aburame Shino had looked... As always. High collar leaving him indecipherable.

Sasuke liked Shino. He'd never spoken to her.

And then...

Uzumaki Naruto.

"Hey! Naruto! This is for graduates only! Get out!" Someone jeered.

Usually, a challenge like that would have prompted a long (and loud) verbal exchange. Naruto however, uncharacteristically, just gave him the finger and tapped the forehead protector on his headband.

"Fuck off Kiba. I passed."

"I bet you stole it somehow, deadlast." The words had left her mouth before she even realized they were being said, a sneer on her lips and an an arrogant tilt to her chin. She didn't even know why she bothered. He was hopeless. Useless. Another child playing at being ninja.

"Fuck you just say? Bastard?" He bristled, stretching himself out as he approached her seat, slamming his palms down on it and leaning in close, pressing his face up against hers.

She saw it then. He looked like lukewarm shit. His eyes were deep set, bags under his eyes that she'd never seen before and he smelled like... Bleach? The skin underneath his eyes was raw, his lips dry and cracked, scabs covering thin slits where the skin had split. And he smelled like bleach.

Naruto had never been particularly fussed with his personal hygiene. He showered, of course, but he didn't wear perfume or scents, so he usually just smelled like a boy, slightly musky, usually freshly sweaty from exercise. But he smelled like bleach and soap. She looked down at his hands. Cuticles were cracked too, one scab having split again.

"I said. I bet you stole it somehow. Deadlast." The mocking words left her lips again, some part of her drawing pleasure out of seeing him humiliated, asserting her superiority.

He was leaned in so close she could feel the warmth of his breath as he seethed, breathing hard from the sheer rage. She enjoyed the power she held over him in that moment. She'd seen Naruto brush off insult and disrespect from the others. But when she spoke, it got to him.

"Naruto get out of the way!" A shrill voice interjected. Sakura pushed him, trying to get by him to the empty seat next to Sasuke. Naruto stumbled, eyes wide as his lips made contact with hers.

Her lips were cool and soft. His were rough, dry and warm.

"Naruto what the hell are you doing?!" Sakura screamed, pulling at the boy to get him away from Sasuke.

Naruto looked around the room, cheeks red, seeing the disapproving faces and laughs at his expense, the pressure came over his ears again, the sounds bleeding into a high-pitched ringing noise.

"Fuck you bastard!" And then he grabbed Sasuke by the collar and slugged her in the chin.

They'd been assigned to Team Seven. Under jounin Hatake Kakashi. It had been tense for a while. They'd waited for almost an hour in dead silence.

Sakura had been afraid of whatever mood had overtaken Naruto since last night. Sasuke had simply enjoyed the silence.

Naruto had fidgeted. Leg bouncing. For a moment he'd even tried reading on the textbooks in the classroom. All of the other jounin had promptly picked up their students. Theirs still hadn't come.

"Fuck this." Naruto announced, standing up. "I'm getting something to eat. Tell the lazy bastard I'm at Ichiraku's if he shows up before I'm back."

"Naruto! You can't do that!" Sakura admonished, anger rising in her voice again.

"It'll be fine." He drawled, elongating the fine as he walked out. "I'll be back before you know it, Sa-ku-ra-chan."

He left. Sakura took this as an invitation to start talking.

"God! I hate him! He's so loud! And he always gets between us! He doesn't have to answer to anyone and it's made him selfish! I can't believe how lucky he is! If I did half the things he did I'd be grounded for life!" A jolt of anger shot through Sasuke then. She didn't like the blond. In fact. On a good day she considered him a waste of oxygen. But this... Child. This girl playing at ninja. What the fuck did she know?

"You think being grounded and scolded could compare to growing up without parents?" Her voice was cold. Words clipped. "With no one?" Her eyes opened. Those black eyes looking like the void of outer space. "Alone?"

"H-Hey Sasuke-san that's not what I meant."

"No? Then what did you mean? Or did you open your mouth without thinking again you vapid little girl?"

Sakura paled, realizing just how badly she'd put her foot in her mouth. Sasuke's eyes were locked with hers, upper lip pulling away from her teeth.

"You disgust me." It was delivered with venom. Actual hatred.

She turned away, staring forwards at the blackboard again.

Sakura fled.

Even Naruto wasn't dense enough to miss the change in atmosphere as he returned. Sasuke was immobile as always, but Sakura was sat in the back of the classroom, as far away from her as she could physically get.

For once, whatever tact he'd been able to scrape together in his short life served him well, and he quietly sat down in an unoccupied bench in the middle, soon falling asleep.

It wasn't like Naruto to fall asleep, Sasuke noted. Useless as he may be, he was usually an inexhaustible bundle of energy, flitting between whatever took his fancy one second to the next, constantly in motion. He could be drowsy in the mornings, but she'd never seen him sleep before, not unlike some of the other students.

It didn't concern her, so she squashed the thought. All she needed was for this jounin to show up, she needed his instruction. She needed his power.

"You're late!" Sakura's piercing voice broke the silence as a man walked through the door. He was tall. Wiry, almost skinny. And he had a tuft of early grey hair on his head. Only one eyes visible, the other hidden under a titled forehead protector. The rest of his face covered by a black mask.

Naruto yelped in surprise, woken up by the loud disturbance, fists flying at ghosts as he made incoherent noises. It took him a moment to understand where he was and collect himself, rubbing at sleepy eyes.

Sasuke just stared.

"My first impression... Is that I hate all of you. Meet me on the roof in five."

"And don't eat any breakfast tomorrow. You'll just throw it up."

Naruto, of course, was the one that summarized everyone's feelings.

"Well. Shit." He scratched at his neck, staring up at the sky. "Well. Just another hurdle I guess. Hey Sakura-chan, wanna get some tea or something?"

Sakura locked eyes with the blond. She was about to shout him down again when she remembered. Sasuke had been right earlier. She really had been awful.

"Yeah. Sure, Naruto."

"Awesome!" The blond was practially beaming, his smile wide and just a tad to toothy.

Sasuke began walking away, the gentle footsteps echoing in the comparative silence of the roof.

"Hey! Bastard! You should join us!"

"No." Was the simple reply, the dark haired girl's tone glacial.

"Then I guess I won't tell you about my awesome new technique! Anyways, we should strategize. I ain't going back tomorrow."

Sasuke stopped. She considered the idiot's offer. He was right. If only nine of them were passing, the test was bound to be hard. And they were sorted into teams for a reason. She gritted her teeth.

"Sure."

Sakura looked to Sasuke, and then to Naruto, mouth hanging open. She couldn't believe what was happening. But, being an intelligent young girl, she decided to not look a gift horse in the mouth.

Naruto led them off, talking all the while. Sakura couldn't help but notice the way everyone looked at him. And the blood on his fingers.