Past and Present Lives
Chapter 6-Past Life
Mike woke up and true to Christine's promise, she had a hot breakfast ready for him. It was delicious and she had also already packed his ruck-sack, giving him valuable time with the kids. It left him with very little time for Christine. She gave him a long hug before pulling away and giving him a kiss.
"When you can, can you email or call?" Christine asked. She still had her hands on his shoulders.
"I'll try. I'm sure once the weapons test is done, I'll be able to, but no promises." Mike said. He still felt guilty over what happened two nights before and he suspected Christine had figured it out. She was not a dumb woman by any stretch of the imagination.
"Hopefully, you do make it home by Thanksgiving." Christine said as she straightened Mike's uniform with her hands, a habit since he was a cop.
"I hope so too. I'd better get going." Mike said as he bent down and picked up the rucksack.
"Well, be careful. I love you." Christine replied before giving him another kiss. Mike participated but he still felt some pretty extreme guilt. Christine had put her arms around him and leaned up. "Mike—I know. I know you weren't at meetings. I just wanted this week to be special for the kids." Christine whispered before pulling away. Mike gave her a shocked look, not knowing what else to do. Lucas had ran towards them and was hugging Mike's legs.
"I really need to go?" Mike said gently.
"Come on, Lucas. Your dad will be back quick. This is a short run." Christine said as she pulled Lucas away.
"Love you, Son." Mike said. He kissed the top of Lucas's head and smiled down at him.
"I love you too, Daddy." Lucas answered. Mike gave Lucas another kiss before Christine was able to get him to let loose.
"Christine, I really need to go. Just…I'm sorry. We'll talk when I get home. I…love you too." Mike said as he put his cover on. Christine nodded and patted his cheek.
"Just make sure you get home safely." Christine said. She gave him another kiss, this time on the cheek and smiled at him. It was a fake smile.
"I will." Mike promised. He walked out of the house and looked back at Christine standing in the doorway, watching him leave. For a second, he thought about going back but he wasn't sure what to say. She knew. He apologized. But he had no idea what to do next.
Once he got to the James, he knew what to do. He worked like a well-oiled machine. It was being a husband that he struggled with and at times, even being a father. His wife and kids deserved better than he was giving them. He did feel badly about cheating. If he had just waited—Christine would have happily given him anything he wanted.
While the dam had broken and Mike knew it would be easier to cheat again, he wasn't sure he could. He hated the guilty feeling. He hated that Christine knew, but was still able to put on a brave face for their kids. She was able to sleep next to him and get him ready to be deployed again. She never asked for much other than time, and even that she was happy to share with the kids. While she was no longer the feisty, beautiful woman he had married nearly twenty years before, she was still a good wife and mother. And he wasn't the same man she had married, and he needed to relearn how to be a better husband. Maybe she was right and it was time to retire so he could focus on being a husband and father again.