A/N: Confession time: even when I first read these books as a middle schooler, I found the whole LionClan thing kinda dumb. The clans didn't need a special name to fight BloodClan. Thus, this brief note is the only time the word LionClan will appear in this story.
Chapter 32. The Last Dream
I say a quick goodbye to Tangleburr as a dark gray RiverClan she-cat leads her, Darkflower, the kits and elders, and Stumpytail (Blackfoot insisted one ShadowClan warrior be with 'em) to their island camp. Now that my most vulnerable clanmates are safe, exhaustion weighs me down like a ton of bricks. Just puttin' one paw in front of the other is a ton of work.
"I'm surprised you returned to ShadowClan." I look up and see Leopardstar paddin' beside me. Her eyes do their best to peel away my fur and bone and get at what's inside.
The memories of Mistyfoot's scream when Featherpaw told us Stonefur was dead and my own brother's stiff corpse left out in the forest to rot erase any minuscule urge I might've had to be polite or diplomatic. "I didn't stop carin' about the rest of my clanmates just 'cause Tigerstar turned out to be an insane tyrant. I hope your head don't explode from the idea of somebody born outside a clan being loyal to it," I snap.
"Well, I don't see the other two rogues," the RiverClan leader says, flickin' a quick glance over my battered clan. "Jaggedtooth and… what was the other one's name?"
"Nightwhisper," I hiss through gritted teeth. "Jaggedtooth betrayed us to BloodClan, but my brother ain't here 'cause Tigerstar murdered him last night. Guess he didn't think it was important enough to tell his co-leader." I spit the last word, the sarcasm almost makin' my tongue burn.
Leopardstar lowers her eyes, and I reckon she's gonna leave me in peace. But then she asks in a voice that almost cracks, "Are Mistyfoot, Stormpaw, and Featherpaw safe?"
I swallow my first retort, "No thanks to you", and my second one, "So now you care?" What I say instead is, "ThunderClan welcomed us with open paws. They're still recoverin' from their injuries and starvation, on account of they were in that hole longer than me. Cinderpelt's takin' great care of 'em, and Stormpaw's got a ThunderClan mentor."
This truth wounds Leopardstar more than any of my more sarcastic replies. She's usually good at hidin' her expression, but her pain and guilt are bright as a streetlight. I'm more than done with this conversation, so I drop back to walk with Tawnypaw and Lightningpaw. We walk the rest of the way in silence.
Most of the clan flops down around the Bonehill, gasping and crying with exhaustion and fear. Littlecloud and Runningnose check everyone's wounds and tend the worst ones with what few herbs they managed to bring. I glance at Blackfoot, waitin' for him to give orders. But he's just lyin' next to Flintfang, eyes closed. I beckon Boulder and the two younger apprentices.
"I reckon we oughtta at least get some water for the wounded cats, maybe some moss for 'em to sleep on," I say hesitantly.
Tawnypaw glances toward Oakfur, but her mentor don't seem to notice.
"No other cat's doin' it," Boulder says, flicking his tail and heading toward the stream, a route I know all too well.
Boulder and I are workin' a fox-length or so from the apprentices, gathering balls of moss and soaking them in the water. But when I take a few pawsteps in their direction, I hear Lightningpaw meow, probably louder than she means to, "Nettlethorn would be a great deputy! She's always helping out. Like, when Tigerstar came to ShadowClan, she brought us prey, and she helped the RiverClan prisoners, and she helped get us away from BloodClan. Nobody else thought about getting water and some bedding for the clan."
"But she hates my father," Tawnypaw says miserably.
"Well, your father put her in a hole, and he killed Nightwhisper," Lightningpaw points out.
Tawnypaw's next words make my heart squeeze. "I know she has reasons, but… what if she hates me because I'm Tigerstar's daughter? That's what Firestar and lots of other ThunderClan cats did."
I step out, makin' enough noise not to startle them. But they look down: embarrassed and, in Tawnypaw's case, a little defiant. "Is it true?" the tortoiseshell apprentice asks boldly.
I meet her green eyes. "Tawnypaw, I swear on StarClan and on my brother's spirit that I'll never judge you for who your father was or how you came here. Tigerstar was a strong warrior; he just didn't act right. How I feel about him and how I feel about you are totally different. Ain't my place to judge, as long as you stick by your clanmates."
"I want to believe you, Nettlethorn," Tawnypaw says solemnly. I nod, knowin' I'll have to earn her trust. I'm okay with that.
I hate sleepin' in the shadow of the Bonehill where Stonefur was murdered. The moon lands on it, givin' it a spooky white glow. Tawnypaw and Lightningpaw curl up together like sisters and are asleep in moments. Boulder circles a few times, then sinks down beside me with a sigh.
"Lightningpaw's right," my mate whispers. "You would make a good deputy, for all the reasons she said and more. After the leaders we've had, we need some cat in power who won't be afraid to ask hard questions or push back," Boulder says, completely serious now.
"That's ridiculous. I've never had an apprentice," I point out.
"Neither did Blackfoot when Brokenstar appointed him," Boulder says.
"Look how well that turned out," I say dryly. "I don't wanna be the next idiot murdered when some crazy cat gets it into their fool head they can do the job better. And Blackfoot would never choose me anyway. He hates my guts. He might not even let me stay."
"If he doesn't let you stay, he's dumber than a pile of dog shit, and I'll be happy to tell him so," Boulder almost growls.
"You'd really tell your clan deputy he was dumber than dog shit? I'm havin' a real bad influence on you," I purr, snugglin' closer and lickin' his ear.
"That tickles," he laughs. And for just a few heartbeats with the cat I love, I get the feelin' everything might work out somehow.
But despite my exhaustion, my moment of contentment, I can't sleep. The horrors of the past few days echo endlessly in my head. After awhile, Boulder's whisper comes out of the dark.
"Are you afraid to go to sleep, love?"
My throat tightens, but I resist the instinct to hold my weaknesses close. I'm supposed to be sharing my life with this cat. "BloodClan, the foxhole, everything that happened today," I say in a quavering voice.
After a long silence, Boulder meows almost too quietly for me to hear, "I dream of the kits sometimes."
"Huh?" I ask, confused.
When Boulder sighs, he sounds ancient and weary to death. "The kits who suffered under Brokenstar. My apprentice was one of them. Wetfoot was lucky, but Dawncloud's the only survivor of her litter. Then I hear the WindClan kits crying as we drove them from their camp. And the kits we stole from ThunderClan. Part of me knew it was wrong, but I did it all anyway."
"Yeah, well, you've learned from your mistakes, haven't you? Followin' orders is all well and good, but you've gotta have a mind of your own too. Don't let your inner rogue die completely."
Boulder just stares at me for a moment, his expression a mix of pain and something that might be wonder or relief. "You do have a way of putting things, Nettlethorn. If it looks like you're having a really bad nightmare, I'll wake you up."
"Thanks," I say through a yawn. My eyes already be driftin' closed.
I do dream beneath the Bonehill, but surprisingly, it ain't a nightmare. I'm back in town, standin' at the base of a huge dumpster. The smell is nasty but familiar.
"You remember what happened here, Cici?" Nightwhisper asks.
I turn and see his shape flickerin' behind me. I purr from deep inside and try to wind around him, but he ain't quite substantial.
"We met Snag. He got stuck inside, and we helped Mama and Jerry flip it over to get him out," I say with a smile. cause even though part of me knows this is a dream and my brother is dead, I can at least pretend we never heard the name Tigerclaw.
The scene changes, and we're in an alley behind a bright green building. "This is where Scorch and Risk saved our lives. They warned us twolegs leave poisoned food in that bin," I say.
Nightwhisper nods. "And you remember how Cora helped us in BloodClan before she and her daughter were driven out? There are others too, who don't live like Tigerstar or BloodClan."
"I know. Didn't need to come to the forest to find good cats, just to feel at home."
For just a heartbeat, I feel Nightwhisper's pelt brush mine, the last goodbye Tigerstar didn't let us say. "I won't be able to walk in your dreams anymore after this. I gotta move on, be at peace. Just remember that the last thing ShadowClan needs is at your roots."
"Say what?" I gasp, but Nightwhisper's already fadin'. I wake with the question still echoin' in my mouth.
I open my eyes and am startled to see the sun peekin' above the tops of the reeds. On a normal day, the warriors would be up by now, listening to Blackfoot yowlin' orders. But now he lies at the edge of the clearing, listless. Most of the clan is either still sleepin' or talkin' in hushed voices. I automatically scan the clearing for Jaggedtooth's ginger tabby pelt, then remember all over again how he betrayed us. The RiverClan warriors ain't much livelier. Leopardstar crouches by the Bonehill like she be thinkin' about climbin' it again or tearin' it down, but her tail-tip flicks nervously. One of her warriors, the dark gray she-cat who helped our queens last night, takes a fish from the meager fresh-kill pile and stares at it like she ain't ever seen one before. Beside me, Boulder's still sleepin', his eyes flickerin' uneasily.
Nightwhisper's words come back to me. "Just remember that the last thing ShadowClan needs is at your roots." Is he sayin' I'm meant to save ShadowClan somehow? But that's daft! I couldn't save Stonefur or Fernshade or even my own littermate. I couldn't save the cat I once thought I loved from becoming cruel enough to kill in cold blood for Scourge. I don't have any more tricks or ideas in me. BloodClan's comin', and I don't know what to do. It's hard to think through grief and tiredness.
But then I see Runningnose, Littlecloud, and the RiverClan medicine cat Mudfur moving among my clanmates. Littlecloud crouches beside Deerfoot and rubs something pungent onto his wound. I don't gotta have the secret to savin' ShadowClan to be useful. I get up and walk over.
"Mornin', Littlecloud," I say.
"Are you okay, Nettlethorn?" the young medicine cat asks, his voice thin with strain but determined. Do I tell him about my dream? No, I decide. Firestar might believe me about 'em on account of seein' Mama, but I ain't no medicine cat and don't wanna be mistaken for one. I can handle a few dreams.
"Just wonderin' if I can help," I say truthfully.
"We've seen to the worst of the injuries. Thank StarClan Mudfur let us use some of his herbs," Runningnose says with a gigantic sniff.
"I hope Leopardstar or Blackfoot organizes hunting patrols soon," Littlecloud puts in.
"I'll try to rustle up somethin'," I offer.
Before I can walk off, Littlecloud touches my shoulder briefly with his tail and says, "I'm so sorry about Nightwhisper. What Tigerstar did to him was wrong, and I'm sorry I didn't stop it."
I know cats mean well, but I'm already sick of hearin' that. "I'm sure there was nothin' you or Runningnose could've done," I meow.
Boulder is awake and talkin' quietly with Russetfur, Wetfoot, and Tallpoppy. All four of 'em eagerly jump to their paws when I suggest a hunt. I take it as a good sign that the other three warriors actually want to hunt with me. Tallpoppy even gives my shoulder a friendly lick. It could almost be an ordinary hunting patrol, except for the unfamiliar territory, and the fact that Leopardstar orders one of her warriors, a mottled brown she-cat named Ottersplash, to go with us. It's awkward at first, but I can't entirely blame the RiverClan leader for not trustin' us alone on her territory.
We return to the makeshift camp after awhile with a lizard, a couple of frogs, and a water vole. But when we set our prey down (as far from the crumbling Bonehill as possible, 'cause who in their right minds would wanna eat near that disgusting thing?), not every cat be happy to see us.
"Do you think that proves something?" Darkstripe sneers at me. The former ThunderClan warrior be lookin' rough. His fur's greasy and matted, his eyes hollow and burning. "No matter how much prey you catch, you're still just a jumped-up rogue with less loyalty than a fox." He don't trouble to lower his voice none, so by the end of his charmin' remarks, most of the cats by the Bonehill are listening.
"It's called helping your clanmates. You oughtta try it sometime, might be a new experience," I spit.
"Guess you won't be taking any of our prey then," Boulder growls, showing his fangs. "Nettlethorn just lost her only living kin, but you don't see her sittin' around like a useless bump on a log."
Darkstripe bristles, his apathy replaced by fury. "Tigerstar was a noble leader who would've remade the forest," he hisses, gettin' right in my face. "That filthy rogue was a traitorous piece of crowfood who deserved what he got. And speaking of traitors, I notice you didn't show up until after BloodClan attacked us. Maybe you're spying for them."
"You're lucky no other cat can hear what goes on in your head, or else they'd run screechin' from all your crazy," I snap.
"That's ridiculous, Darkstripe. Nettlethorn saved Blackfoot's life, and believe me, she has more reason to hate BloodClan than anyone," Russetfur hisses.
But Darkstripe ignores the ginger she-cat and keeps his attention squarely on me. "Did your mate tell you he died like a warrior, Cici? Well, I guess if you weren't a piece of fox dung, I'd lie to spare your feelings too. The truth is, your brother died like a weak coward. He died begging for-"
I swear by StarClan, I have oo memory of lunging. But next thing I know, I'm on top of Darkstripe, rippin' big chunks of fur out. Darkstripe bats at me, but I caught him off guard and he ain't got no leverage. All I can see in my head is Nightwhisper's body, one eye eaten by somethin'. This image gives way to one of Coal chokin' to death on red berries.
"Don't you dare shit-talk my brother, you baby-killer!" I growl, seizing his scruff in my teeth and shoving his face into the dirt. "He was worth ten of you. Ain't nobody gonna want you around after I tell 'em you got exiled from ThunderClan for tryin' to murder a tiny innocent kit!" My anger is like liquid fire. It burns so much I gotta let it out, and this scum is the perfect target.
"Fox dung!" Darkstripe snarls, managing to nip me.
We roll on the ground, screechin' and cursin' until powerful paws kick us away from one another. One lands on my chest before I can sit up, and my mind flashes back in panic to our raid on ThunderClan. Just like then, the claws are sheathed. But it's Blackfoot glowerin' down at me now, and his other paw holds Darkstripe in place.
"Have you flea-brains considered trying to behave like warriors instead of stupid kits in the nursery?" the ShadowClan deputy hisses. "In-fighting is the last thing ShadowClan needs right now. You two have done nothing but provoke one another since Darkstripe arrived. If you can't act like clanmates, stay away from each other." Blackfoot sounds more like his old self than he has since Tigerstar's death.
I ain't all that sorry, really, but I don't wanna show any more of ShadowClan's disunity and dysfunction in front of RiverClan. So I dip my head and say in a low, measured tone, "You're right, Blackfoot. I shouldn't have let him get to me. I know everything he said's a big lie."
Darkstripe glares but don't say anything. He must feel so alone with Tigerstar gone, I think. Not even Tigerstar's other supporters like or respect him much. He joined the clan too late, and he ain't made himself popular by being so arrogant. I could almost pity him, but his grief—if that's what it is—is the corrosive kind that poisons every cat around him. Blackfoot grunts, like he's disgusted with both of us, and lets us go.
It's only then, once the drama's over, that we realize we got visitors. Firestar is entering the clearing, surrounded by Graystripe, Sandstorm, Cloudtail, and Bramblepaw.
"I hope we're not interrupting anything," the ThunderClan leader says. Sandstorm's eyes flick to me, shining with relief. Bramblepaw darts into the crowd of my clanmates, no doubt lookin' for his sister.
"Firestar, what do you want?" Leopardstar meows, soundin' like she don't care much one way or the other.
"To talk to you," Firestar says, givin' us a confused look. "What's wrong with you all? Why aren't you in your camp, Leopardstar?"
"The RiverClan camp is too small for both clans. We have the kits and elders there, with a few warriors to guard them," Leopardstar says. Her eyes glitter with a hard sheen as she adds bitterly, "But what's the point? BloodClan has taken ShadowClan's camp, and soon, they'll slaughter us all." She lets out a wild laugh that chills me.
"You can't think like that. If we stand together, we can drive out BloodClan," Firestar says. Now here's a cat talkin' sense.
But though a few of my clanmates have a new light in their eyes, most still look scornful. "You mouse-brained fool!" Leopardstar spits. "Drive out BloodClan? How do you think you're going to do that? Tigerstar was the greatest warrior this forest has ever seen, and you saw what Scourge did to him."
"I know," Firestar says evenly. "But Tigerstar faced Scourge alone. We can join together as one to fight him so that afterward we can be four clans again, according to the warrior code."
"Scourge ain't immortal," I call out.
None of the ShadowClan or RiverClan cats seem to hear. "What will you do then, leave the forest?" Firestar presses.
Leopardstar shakes her head, like a fly is botherin' her. "I sent a couple of warriors to scout for places to stay beyond Highstones. But our kits and elders won't make it that far." I hear despair and self-hatred in her voice.
"They don't have to die," Firestar says with a hint of desperation. "ThunderClan and WindClan will fight. Stand with us, and we'll be twice as strong."
"Are you mouse-brained?" Blackfoot asks the RiverClan leader, lashing his tail. "You can't seriously be thinking of joining these fools. They're not strong enough to tackle BloodClan. They'll get us torn apart."
"But this is our home!" Deerfoot protests. "We're ShadowClan. Are we really going to take this from a bunch of flea-bitten rogues?"
"We've lost strong leaders before and survived," Ratscar chimes in. Tallpoppy still looks scared, but she goes to her mate's side and calls in support.
"BloodClan killed Tigerstar and Fernshade! I want to rip their throats out and shove them up their tails!" Wolfstep yowls.
Wetfoot, Dawncloud, Flintfang, Newtspeck, and Russetfur take up the call for vengeance. Somethin' sparks in Blackfoot's eyes, and he nods at us.
"Do you have a plan?" Leopardstar demands of Firestar.
Firestar glances down at his paws, then back up at Leopardstar. At dawn three days from now, ThunderClan and WindClan will meet BloodClan at Fourtrees. I hope RiverClan and ShadowClan will fight beside us to reclaim our forest."
Russetfur rolls her eyes so hard, I'm surprised she don't see out the back of her head. "Is he for real? A kit could come up with a better plan than doing exactly what our enemy wants. Has ThunderClan ever even heard the word strategy? Sometimes I think they only got one brain between 'em," she grumbles.
Boulder and Wetfoot purr in amusement. "Could be strategic thinkin' ain't their strongest talent," I agree. "But I'm sure we can come up with somethin'."
"I don't know," Leopardstar meows. "Maybe the battle is already lost. I need some time to think."
"There's not much time left," Sandstorm points out.
Leopardstar ignores the other she-cat and summons her senior warriors. Lookin' slightly irritated, Blackfoot forces his way into the huddle. Impatience crawls through my fur like ants. As the RiverClan caffs and Blackfoot confer, Firestar pads over to where Bramblepaw and Tawnypaw sit side by side. I reckon they're tryin' to persuade the young she-cat to rejoin ThunderClan. I know it won't be easy for her, havin' a brother in another clan, but I hope she stays with us.
"Can't they hurry up already?" I ask, glancin' back at Leopardstar's group.
Boulder purrs with laughter. "Any cat would think you're in a hurry to fight BloodClan to the death."
"Quickest started, soonest over. Mama used to say it, so it must be true," I meow.
"You're so impatient, it's a miracle you can hunt," Russetfur teases, flickin' me lightly with her tail. A brief memory of her pinning Nightwhisper down outside the foxhole flashes through my mind, but I shove it away hard. I can't let myself hold a grudge like this.
Everyone falls silent as Leopardstar breaks away from the others and walks toward Firestar. I for one forget to breathe until an ache in my chest reminds me what a generally good idea that is. As dramatic as it sounds, the fate of all four clans rests on the golden tabby's shoulders.
"I'm not ready to give up yet. All right, Firestar, RiverClan will stand with you at Fourtrees," Leopardstar announces. Her clanmates murmur among themselves, but most of 'em look happy to be actin' like warriors again and not prey.
"So will ShadowClan," Blackfoot meows. His eyes flash at Leopardstar, assertin' his authority and our independence.
"Fight BloodClan because a kittypet says so?" Darkstripe sneers, pushin' his way through the crowd to stand in front of the leaders. "Are you out of your minds?" Firestar looks at him cooly and dips his head the tiniest bit in acknowledgement.
"This isn't your decision," Blackfoot snarls at the dark warrior. "I don't remember dying and leaving you in command."
"We should kill you or drive you out," Darkstripe snarls at Firestar, totally ignorin' our clan deputy. "You turned Scourge against Tigerstar. It's your fault he died."
"No it ain't!" I snap as Graystripe and Cloudtail hiss in outrage.
"A traitor defending a traitor, what a surprise," Darkstripe sneers.
"Firestar didn't make Tigerstar bring that freak into the forest," I go on. "Tigerstar asked all of us—all the ex-rogues—about our lives in twolegplace. When we told him how vicious BloodClan is, any cat with a lick of sense would've stayed away. It's his own stupid fault he didn't listen. Now we all gotta risk our lives cleanin' up that fool's mess."
"Don't speak about your former leader that way," Blackfoot growls, the fur on his shoulders standin' up.
"I'll talk about my brother's murderer however I want," I shoot back.
"Well, I'm not going to follow that mouse-brained kittypet, no matter what any cat says," Darkstripe retorts, interruptin' our argument.
"You'll obey orders," Leopardstar says coldly.
"Make me," Darkstripe spits. "You're not my leader."
Leopardstar turns away, her lips curling in distaste. "Thank StarClan I'm not. You're about as much use as a dead fox." Truer words have never been spoken.
Darkstripe turns to Blackfoot, a mute appeal in his eyes. Before Tigerstar's death, they were allies, workin' closely together to carry out his cruelest orders. But now, the black-and-white deputy just looks at him with indifference. "Do what you want, Darkstripe. But ShadowClan has no place for a warrior who isn't willing to stand and fight with us," he says quietly.
"You fools—you'll all be ripped apart!" Darkstripe snarls.
And then he just leaves. As cats part to let him pass, a RiverClan tom hisses, "You're crowfood now, murderer!"
A higher, younger voice, bright with anger, pipes up. "If we do get torn apart, at least we won't have to spend our last days listening to you whine and tell horrible lies about our clanmates!" Lightningpaw yowls. Apparently I wasn't the only one upset by his comments about Nightwhisper.
Darkstripe don't look back at anyone as he disappears into the reeds. I try to imagine him livin' on the streets in town, scavengin' from dumpsters. Can he survive alone outside the forest he was born in? Ain't my problem, I tell myself as Newtspeck presses her muzzle against her foster daughter's cheek.
"Maybe we'll finally have peace in the clan if we manage to drive BloodClan out," Wetfoot says wryly, shootin' a look in my direction.
"Ain't my fault he was always spewin' shit from both ends," I retort, to a few snickers.
"How did Tigerstar know how to find BloodClan? How did they come to the forest?" Graystripe asks.
Blackfoot gestures Boulder forward with a flick of his tail. The skinny silver-gray tom cautiously approaches the ThunderClan cats and starts tellin' 'em the whole sorry business. As he speaks, I find myself thinkin' about my dream again. Them places Nightwhisper showed me. The place where we met our sometimes-allies Risk and Scorch. And he brought up Cora, the one cat in BloodClan we actually liked. I haven't seen her since a quarter moon after Mama died. I wonder if she's still alive. The last thing I need is at my roots, where I begin. In town.
"Not all of us came to the forest," I blurt.
Every cat is lookin' at me. Again. "I got an idea of how to recruit a few more cats," I say.