"Desperado, you know you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, drivin' you home"
"I have you," Aubrey whispered repeatedly, spooning Stacie and gently caressing her hair and shoulder. Just before she fell asleep, Stacie hummed contently and pushed her body against Aubrey's. Aubrey unconsciously slid her hand towards her hips and pulled her closer. Aubrey felt her blood rising and her face becoming flush and warm and she shook those physical sensations off, annoyed at herself, and tried her best to refocus on providing her friend the comfort she needed right now.
Stacie never noticed anything, she was lost in her own thoughts. It wasn't often, but she had lost patients before, and it was always devastating. As a single working mother, she had become adept at compartmentalizing, never truly allowing herself the luxury of feeling the loss—until now. In Aubrey's arms, feeling a mixture of overwhelming, and confusing pain, she found a small rare moment of comfort and safety, and she finally allowed herself to grieve as she drifted off to sleep.
Her feet shuffled on the pale sand that rose gently and drifted. There was a small cheerful bounce in her step. And as she always did, she playfully jumped a little higher. Her hands extended towards the blue planet hovering above her. Each time she jumped, she tried to reach for it, but not really, she was just enjoying the sensation of rising and falling slowly.
This was always so much fun, that she didn't mind being naked, or even the cold. She bounced as high as she could and would spin gently as she fell. She noticed that the pitch black was once again moving towards her but, she didn't mind, she could always outbounce it.
Suddenly she looked in her hand and there was a small yellow flower there. The sight of the flower made her so happy. She wanted to bounce but, she noticed how frail the little flower looked and how it swayed dangerously with the small bounces and that simply would not do, she knew she must protect it.
She frowned and now that she couldn't bounce, for the first time, she really took in her surroundings, there was nothing here. Just blackness, and the pale sand beneath her feet. She became sad and shivered, she couldn't ignore the cold anymore, it was engulfing her. She protectively tried to shield the flower from the cold. And she wept, as she realized how pointless it was. She looked up, towards the colorful blue planet above her. And stretched out her arm, she longed to be there. To be in that blue planet that was so full of pain and yet so full of warmth. She'd risk it all and suffer for as long as she needed in exchange for some of that warmth.
Then she heard it, the distinct howl of a Coyote. She looked towards the source and saw the Coyote being consumed by the darkness, in its yellow glowing eyes, she saw fear.
And fear is contagious.
For the first time, the dancer on the moon was overcome by an overwhelming sinking feeling of fear. And the darkness crept towards her and her flower. She looked up towards the blue planet and wondered if she had jumped high enough, could she make it? Would she burn up? But more importantly, would the flower survive? Then she heard the coyote's voice cut through the darkness,
I thought you were fearless.
I am!
Then jump.
The dancer on the moon looked up at the planet and suddenly flushed with the warmth of conviction and courage, said to herself, "Jump!"
Sometime around 6am, Stacie woke from her confusing dream and shivered from the cold. She noticed the absence of her source of warmth. She carefully opened one eye and noticed the beam of light cutting through the darkness of the room. Curious, she sat up and noticed a shadow moving back and forth in the hallway and the sound of muffled voices.
That same curiosity got the best of her and Stacie blinked away the cobwebs of sleep and tiptoed her way towards the open door and took a peek.
Outside her door, Aubrey was animatedly pacing in the hallway and whispering on her cell phone. Stacie leaned closer, trying to hear the conversation.
"You must be the Director Ferguson from The Mojave Regional Medical Center? Good! I'm glad I finally caught you! I apologize for calling you at home this early…"
Stacie gasped as she realized who Aubrey was talking to.
"Yes I'm aware it is very early, and no I don't care, you see I'm a friend of Dr. Conrad, and I'm not sure if you're aware, but she had a very rough day yesterday and —"
What the hell is she doing? Stacie thought with a small frown.
"— Oh, you are aware? OK Good! Well, I'm calling to inform you that she will not be coming in today! She will be taking today off— that's fine? Oh! Compassionate leave? That's a thing? Oh." Aubrey smacked her forehead and rolled her eyes.
Stacie buried her face in her hands and tried her hardest not to laugh.
"I see, well that makes me feel better, I was about to throw at you so many labor protection laws it would have made your head spin." Aubrey chuckled a little nervously. "Yeah that's fair, I won't call you to your home at this time ever again, and again please um apologize to your wife for me… Yes— hello?"
Aubrey scoffed and looked at her phone, the very irritated man had hung up on her already. She leaned against the wall and jumped when she noticed Stacie. Stacie stood there by the door, her arms crossed, frowning, her lips pursed and her left eyebrow raised. Aubrey almost jumped out of her skin.
"Jesus, how do you keep sneaking up on me!"
Stacie didn't answer, she just drummed her fingers and raised her eyebrow even higher, her displeasure clear.
"Did you hear that?" Aubrey asked nervously.
"Every word."
"Oh Gosh!" Aubrey started and took a step towards her friend.
Stacie raised a hand to stop her, "You could have asked me, you know?"
"I didn't want to wake you," Aubrey admitted sheepishly.
"You suck at that, you are always waking me up."
"I'm sorry," Aubrey looked down, her cheeks red.
Stacie couldn't stay mad at her, not even jokingly mad, much less when she looked like a wounded puppy. She walked over to Aubrey playfully grabbed her hand and pulled her back into the bedroom, "Come on, I still need more sleep and consoling."
Aubrey chuckled, relieved her friend wasn't mad at her, and let herself be led back into the bedroom.
Aubrey and Stacie lay next to each other on the bed. Stacie was resting her head slightly on Aubrey's. Stacie was staring at the ceiling deep in thought. She was feeling better, and while she did have a tendency to bounce back quickly, this was too much. She was feeling suspiciously good.
"You know, if you're feeling up for it, maybe we could get groceries today, no pressure though, I could take care of it if you want."
"Hmm?" Stacie asked, not fully comprehending what she was saying.
"I mean if you want to take it easy and rest today that's fine too, I know you had a hard day yesterday, maybe we could write a list, and you tell me what kind of stuff you and B.B. like."
Stacie exhaled and said, "Why don't we— go together,"
"You sure? I can take care of it,"
"I know you can, but B.B. can be picky."
"Oh yeah, I noticed!" Aubrey chuckled.
"That reminds me, thank you so much for taking care of B.B. yesterday," Stacie whispered.
Aubrey smiled at Stacie and said, "It was an absolute pleasure. While we're on the subject, how did you do that trick where you… um guessed what B.B. wants to eat? It was like you were reading her mind. I can't bribe her with cookies every time? I guess I could try money."
"Don't bribe my baby with money!"
Aubrey chuckled, "Fine,"
"So you really haven't figured it out?" Stacie asked, with a big mischievous smile on her face.
"And I'm guessing you're not going to tell me, huh?"
"Nope, you'll figure it out," Stacie said playfully.
Aubrey chuckled, "Fine, be that way…. Um, will the nanny be alright?"
Stacie's smile faltered and she frowned considering how to navigate this without breaking HIPPA laws, "Yeah, thankfully she'll pull through, but she's looking at a lengthy recovery."
"I'm glad to hear that," Aubrey sighed with relief.
Stacie sighed, and her shoulders tensed, "It sucks, but I need to start looking for a replacement soon. I wonder if Garcia's sister would be up for it, she used to babysit a while back before she went to college, I'll have to ask…"
Aubrey placed a hand on Stacie's shoulder, her touch warm and reassuring, "Stace, you know I'm here, right?"
"Hm?" Stacie turned her head sideways, searching Aubrey's face.
"Let me help you," Aubrey said, her eyes sincere. "I can help you find a nanny if you want, and you know I'll do a hell of a job screening them, but—" she paused and swallowed, putting herself out there was never easy for her, "Just so you know, I'm more than capable of taking care of her,"
Stacie's eyes softened, "I can't ask you to do that Bree,"
"You're not asking," Aubrey insisted, "I'm offering."
Stacie studied her friend carefully, as she thought that Aubrey always took care of her girls. Yesterday's emergency had become something of a trial by fire, and Aubrey passed with flying colors. In those beautiful eyes of hers, she saw that burning determination of hers that she admired. It was a reflection of the care she had shown repeatedly.
"You know I can do this, I'll do everything in my power to make sure she's safe and taken care of," Aubrey added, then she smiled and continued, "I'll even hire a magician to teach me to read minds, so I can figure out what she wants for food, so I don't have to bribe her with cookies."
Stacie looked away and chuckled softly, "Tell you what, I'll give you the job— if you can figure out how to read B.B.'s mind."
Aubrey's face lit up with that big bright smile of hers, and she said confidently, "I will totally figure it out! You'll see!"
Stacie's eyes glistened, I know you will. She paused and frowned, something had been bothering her, "So did you really lay into the teacher?"
"I wouldn't say I laid into her, I was just direct."
"Whatever," Stacie rolled her eyes, "If you're going to do this, you're going to need to learn to control your Aubrey… CEO-ness,"
"But…"
"No buts Bree," Stacie interrupted gently, "I'm saying this not just for my daughter's sake, but yours as well, if you had put your foot down, and I know that you could have, they would have been well within their rights to call the cops on you."
Aubrey's eyes widened, "Oh, I— well, I knew that of course, but." She looked down, she was making excuses, and she knew it, yesterday she had been less diplomatic than she would have liked, "I'm sorry,"
Stacie relaxed and gently added, "I know you are, and that's why— today when we go drop off B.B. you're going to be super nice and apologize to the teacher,"
Aubrey nodded, feeling embarrassed, but appreciative for the opportunity to make things right, "Yes, yes I am,"
"Just for the record, I love that you are a badass, and I knew you'd look after my baby. It's just I don't want you to get in trouble in the process."
"Got it, I'll do my best to keep my… CEO-ness at bay with the teachers,"
"That's all I ask, now—" Stacie leaned closer and giving her the biggest puppy eyes she could muster, begged sweetly, "Can you please go make me coffee?"
Aubrey laughed, "Sure, coffee coming right up," Aubrey got out of bed but stopped by the door and turned around, "Hey um, Stace… are you alright? Now? I mean after—"
Stacie tilted her head to the side slightly, touched, and said, "Yeah I am."
Aubrey smiled relieved and left to get the coffee started.
Once Aubrey was out of earshot, Stacie, alone in her dark room, whispered to no one, "Thanks to you."
"Alright, Angel, let's figure out what you want for breakfast," Aubrey asked while sitting in front of B.B.
Stacie was in the kitchen leaning against the kitchen aisle as she watched the whole event amused, and drank another perfect cup of cappuccino.
"You can try!" B.B. sang with a smile, looking towards her mom who winked at her.
"OK! Let's do this!" Aubrey thought about everything in the pantry, the refrigerator, and the cupboards.
"Is it scrambled eggs and toast?"
"Nope,"
"Oatmeal?"
"Nuh-huh"
"Yogurt?"
"Ew,"
"OK," Aubrey looked pleadingly toward Stacie.
"Don't you offer my baby money!" Stacie yelled.
Aubrey slumped her head and then looked up, "Well the only other options we have are a bologna sandwich or cereal."
"Cereal!" B.B. exclaimed her eyes lit up, Aubrey narrowed her eyes, and she turned towards Stacie excited. Stacie leaned forward on the kitchen island with a big smile on her face.
"Oh God! OK! Cereal, um," Aubrey thought about the cereal that was in the cupboard, there were only two options. "Oh, it's either Froot Loops or um Captain Crunch,"
"Froot Loops!" B.B. exclaimed excitedly.
"Ah! OK! Sure, Angel! Froot Loops it is!" Aubrey jumped up and bounced happily towards the kitchen.
"I get it now!" Aubrey said in a singsong voice as she twirled around Stacie and danced her way past her to get B.B. her cereal.
"Looks like you got the job!" Stacie said with a small smile.
Aubrey quickly hugged Stacie from behind and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "Yay! I'm so excited!"
Stacie turned around to look at the happy blonde woman dancing in her kitchen as she poured a bowl of cereal for B.B. Her eyes reflected how confident she felt with her decision.
"Today's going to be a good day," Stacie said and took another sip of her delightful coffee.
Stacie had Aubrey by the wrist and was essentially dragging her toward the petite blonde woman she had verbally eviscerated the night before. Mrs. Scott took an involuntary step back when she noticed who Stacie Conrad was dragging along. Around them, other parents were grabbing their children. Aubrey was blushing brightly, but she smiled, both amused and embarrassed by the whole ordeal.
Stacie pushed her in front of Mrs. Scott and said, "Is there anything you want to say to the nice Mrs. Scott, who was doing an excellent job of looking after the kids?"
Aubrey sighed, and still smiling and blushing said, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Scott, I didn't mean to— go off on you like that."
Mrs. Scott visibly relaxed and smiled, "Oh, I understand, and thank you for that, Ms. Posen, I've seen it before, though never quite like that."
"Yeah, my Bree can be—" Stacie looked at her and Aubrey looked down, embarrassed. "Protective of her girls." Stacie finished, and Aubrey looked up at her, relieved.
"With our little ones, it's ok to be protective, that's what we're all about here. I both look forward to and dread working with you in the future, Ms. Posen." The teacher extended her hand and Aubrey took it.
"That's usually the case, Mrs. Scott," Aubrey said with a smile that though she tried her best to come off as friendly, still looked predatory. The teacher squirmed a little and smiled awkwardly, "We're really not supposed to say this but… may I just say you two are a really cute couple."
Aubrey's eyes widened in shock and her face looked flushed. She cleared her throat and tried to maintain her usual poise. "Actually, we're not… I mean…" Her words were hurried and there was a slight tremor in her voice.
Stacie blinked rapidly, blushed, and started to giggle, glancing toward Aubrey. "We're just— friends,"
"Friends, yes, that's it," Aubrey echoed and nodded quickly.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, I just… assumed, because you complement each other so well. And Ms. Conrad well you just look so happy. I'm sorry I really shouldn't have… Assumed. Oh Gosh! Um, I'm going to go, before I stick my other foot in my mouth." The teacher, blushing backed away smiling awkwardly at them, turned tail, and disappeared into the school.
"Well, that was… funny," Aubrey said, her cheeks still red and warm.
Stacie frowned as she processed the words, you look so happy and cleared her throat. "Hilarious, come on wifey, let's go get groceries."
Stacie drove them in her SUV, the nearest Costco was an hour away from Stacie's house. They grabbed two shopping carts and headed into the overwhelming warehouse store. Aubrey wandered into the off-aisle in the center where there were scattered children's toys and clothing. Aubrey caught sight of a massive assortment of art supplies and she studied it carefully, wondering about the quality.
"What have you got there," Stacie asked behind her.
"Look!" Aubrey showed her the art supply set, "Think B.B. would like this?"
"Oh yeah, she'd love this. Trying to score Auntie points?"
Aubrey chuckled, "Always, but also… I thought she's so talented Stace! Would it be alright if I look into some art programs or something like that for B.B.?"
Stacie thought about it for a second and said, "Sure, have you talked to her about it?"
"I wanted to run it by you first. She's got a real talent for it, Stace!"
"Yeah she does, she's always coloring, I just thought that's what kids that age do, you know?"
"Yeah, but she's got a great eye for details!" Aubrey said, her voice filled with admiration for the girl. "She even tries to shade."
Stacie chuckled, "Well, talk to her, see what she thinks."
Aubrey nodded, a determined gleam in her eyes, "I will."
As they walked on through the aisles, grabbing this and that, Aubrey's phone vibrated. It was a message from Jesse.
"You are not going to believe who I ran into!" the message read and, it was followed by a selfie of him smiling brightly next to a beautiful blonde woman with thick eyebrows and a serious expression.
A follow-up message quickly appeared, "Apparently not only does she own that retreat we went to, but she also owns the music studio we are renting out for the movie! Small world right?"
Aubrey's eyes widened with disbelief and she whispered, "Imperatrix?"
"Impe-what? Dude! Yo! What the hell is Jesse Doing with Kommissar?" Stacie asked incredulously as she walked up behind her and peeked into her phone.
Aubrey almost jumped out of her skin, she yelled, "God—blessed! Seriously Stacie! You need to stop doing that! How do you keep sneaking up behind me!"
"Mommy superpower, it'll come to you," Stacie said dismissively.
"Mommy— what?"
"Now spill it, why is Jesse next to Chloe's old love rival."
Aubrey sighed, and placed a hand over her heart trying to settle down, "At the risk of sounding redundant, I ask you again, what?"
"Right. I keep forgetting that you had graduated by then, well she used to make Beca go gaga back in the day. I think Beca has a thing for blondes or something."
Aubrey blinked, surprised, "What? Darn it! Oh wait, right, I kinda remember Chloe mentioning something about that back then, didn't know she was blonde though," Aubrey's voice trailed off as she looked at her phone.
"Hey, you still haven't answered my question."
"Um, yeah sorry, apparently she runs the sound studio that he's renting for the movie" Aubrey answered and frowned. It wasn't a lie, not really, she just wasn't going to elaborate.
The sight of her psychopathic, predatory glacial eyes and the small cocky smirk on her lips brought back memories locked away behind the heavy black door in her subconsciousness. The woman draped in latex, standing next to Jesse, and in her hand she extended a leather whip to Aubrey. She remembered how it felt in her hands, its heft, and how the leather sounded as she squeezed the grip. But most of all she remembered the way Jesse whimpered through his ball gag as she brought it down on his muscular back.
That memory made everything around her darken, and blur, and she could hear another lock on that dark door open, and disappear into the darkness.
"You alright Bree?" Stacie asked concerned.
Aubrey snapped out of her trance and shook it off, but her face remained crimson red as a warm and familiar tingle spread through her body.
"Yeah sorry, I um, wine? We should check out the wine, and um snacks! Yeah! For you and B.B.!"
"Oh yes!" Stacie's eyes lit up at the idea of wine and new snacks for her lunchbox and for B.B. and she bounced away happily.
Aubrey looked down at her phone one last time, into the woman's soulless eyes and shook her head. Then she looked up from her phone and noticed for the first time, how Stacie's black leather flats wrapped around the back of her ankles, and the sight made her heart skip a beat.
Watching Stacie's good mood, she found that her joy was contagious, and she was able to put away thoughts of darkness that smelled like leather, away.
Looking at the brunette eagerly studying each wine label, she laughed. Aubrey couldn't believe that this was the same woman who was crying her heart out over losing a patient a few hours ago. Aubrey just had to snap a picture of her. She pulled out her phone and captured her just as she was admiring a bottle of wine.
"Did you just take a picture of me dork?" Stacie asked as she stomped over toward her.
"Yes!"
"Give, I need to approve of it first." Stacie extended her hand.
Aubrey showed her the picture and nodded, "Just don't toss it again,"
"I make no promises," Stacie said as she looked at the picture, Aubrey had captured her perfectly, her eyes were soft and shiny as she smiled while she read the label of a particularly bold Cabernet Sauvignon,
"Yeah, that's a good one. You may keep it." And she handed the phone back.
"Thanks," Aubrey accidentally swiped the picture, and the next one to pop up on the screen was the one of the desert and the derelict Motel 6, with Stacie and B.B. in the background. Something about the picture moved them.
"Whoa, this is like Instagram-worthy," Stacie whispered, admiring the picture.
"Thanks," Aubrey said her voice far away, her eyes fixed on the picture.
On their way home, they drove by the old motel and Aubrey glanced at the picture on her phone once more and asked her to stop.
Stacie without question parked on the desert where Aubrey had broken down.
The second Aubrey's foot touched the arid sand, she was once again hit with that familiar sensation of nostalgia that had plagued her since arriving. She'd been here before. Not only did it feel familiar, it felt good. It felt like being home.
She was suddenly transported.
A little girl, maybe 6 or 7 years old with bright blue eyes and golden hair tied in two adorable pigtails, was sitting by a campfire. She was admiring a small white dentalium shell in the palm of the hand of a man with kind brown eyes and braided long hair. He was wearing a jean jacket with a patch on the top right sleeve. It was a black shield with three stylized silver arrows pointed northeast and northwest, and crossing each other diagonally, Over the arrows, a silver dagger pointed towards the sky, and below the shield, the words read, "DE OPPRESSO LIBER."
"And so the water was free for everyone." He said, finishing his story.
The little girl frowned and commented, "Daddy says free is another word for communism."
The man, with kind brown eyes, chuckled softly at the child's naïveté, "No child, water is a basic human right, it is a gift for all the people."
The little girl nodded but she wasn't entirely convinced. The man off to his side chuckled, and the man with the braided hair looked at him and said, "John, what are you teaching this daughter of yours?"
The other man laughed out loud and said "Come on David, we can't let the communists win can we?"
The man with the long hair and braids shook his head and was about to pocket the small shell but paused and noticed the glint in the girl's eyes, he handed it to her and said "Here, if you keep your eyes open, Mother Nature may provide you with enough to make a beautiful necklace one day."
The girl studied the little shell, it was small and almost frail, and even though she found it simplistic it was still beautiful. She hoped mother nature would indeed provide.
John stood up from his spot and said, "Well, we should call it a night, we have a big day tomorrow, David."
David, the man with the kind brown eyes, and beautiful long braided hair, nodded in agreement and quietly thanked the fire before stomping it out.
As the glowing embers rose towards the night sky, Aubrey Posen returned to the present.
Who was that man? She asked no one. She recognized her father John of course, but she had no idea who the other man was.
Aubrey looked up and was taken by the sad and defeated state of the Motel. The sight stirred memories of the little shell B.B. had found.
Stacy looked at her friend concerned, "Are you alright, Bree?"
Aubrey shook herself out of it, and after a second she nodded, "Yeah I'm fine, it's just— nothing, I'm OK."
Stacy looking at the motel and back at her friend, the her face turned into one of mischief, "Wanna break in?"
"What? Are you insane?"
"Certifiable, come on!" Stacie said as she ran her way towards the Motel.
Aubrey in a panic chased after her, "No wait! Stacie! We have groceries in the car!"
Realizing it was too late, Aubrey went into the SUV and grabbed her purse. Stacie was already inside. It hadn't been hard to break in, there was a small fenced gate off to the side that led to the pool area, and it wasn't even locked.
"This is terrible security," Aubrey commented as she entered and pressed her purse to her chest.
The first thing she noticed, was the natural terracotta tiled floor beneath their feet had darkened with grime and cracked terribly. She was glad she was wearing closed-toed shoes. Aubrey followed the curious Stacie as she made her way towards the center of the complex where the pool was.
"Whoa, would you look at this place," Stacie said, looking around the motel.
When they got closer to the pool they almost gagged with disgust. Whatever was in there was solidified, black, and smelled of rotten eggs. Aubrey quickly became convinced that it was one of the many entryways to hell.
Aubrey examined her surroundings. The motel's layout was relatively simple and almost stereotypical for motels of that time. On the right side of the pool, there are two floors of motel rooms. Off to the right of that, there was a cabana. Behind her was the reception area, that housed a small office where guests would check in for the night. Just off to the side of the rooms, there was another area that seemed like a rec room of sorts, or maybe a restaurant—the kind that served subpar continental buffets to weary travelers to start their day wishing they'd gone anywhere else for breakfast.
But Aubrey's eyes kept going back to the second floor. Something about the railing up there called to her.
Without realizing it, her legs were already moving towards the stairs. Stacie followed closely behind her. Thankfully, the stairs were made of cement and safe, but Aubrey still walked up slowly, making sure they wouldn't crumble beneath her feet.
As she reached the second floor, she noticed all the dark rooms to the side. The sight of them made her heart race, she remembered the documentaries about serial killers and motels. With a practiced motion, she reached into her purse and pulled out a Smith & Wesson Model 659 with a brushed stainless steel frame— an old gift from her father, meant to keep her safe. Stacie gasped at the sight of the firearm.
"You had a gun this whole time!" Stacie yelled, outraged.
Aubrey turned around and shushed her with her free hand.
"We are going to have a conversation about this later!" Stacie whispered back with a frown.
Aubrey wasn't paying attention and she moved forward. As they walked past the rooms, Aubrey avoided looking into the faded windows. She had no idea what secrets those rooms hid, but judging by the smell, and the copious amounts of satanic-looking graffiti, guessed it was probably related to the Manson Family or the Satanic Panic from the 80s. Stacie, hearing random noises coming from the mysterious dark rooms, started to feel a little spooked and walked closer to Aubrey while holding the back of her shirt. She was starting to come around to the idea that her friend was armed.
When she reached the very center of the landing, she leaned against the railing. It felt cold and porous, exactly how she remembered it, and once again, she was transported to the past.
She was a little girl again, and it was way past her bedtime. Her dad wasn't in the room sleeping in the bed next to her, and always the curious one, she went to look for him. She peered out the window and saw him there, leaning against the rail, smoking a cigar.
He didn't even have to turn his head, "Hey baby girl, can't sleep?"
"No, Daddy," she responded. Her dad looked so small right now. When he turned to look at her there were tears in his eyes, and realizing that he was crying in front of his daughter, he quickly turned and wiped them away. There was no way in hell he would let his daughter see him cry. But the little girl was brilliant and extremely perceptive, and she recognized the jean jacket he was wearing, with the words "DE OPPRESSO LIBER" below the shield.
"Daddy, are you all right?" she asked in a soft, gentle voice.
John chuckled, a little disgruntled with himself for letting his weakness show. "Yeah, I'm okay. Sorry, baby girl. I'm fine. I just... I lost a good friend today."
The man had no idea why he was admitting this. He had no idea how he could tell his only daughter something so distressing. When all he wanted to do was bury it all down, fill it with cement, and forget all about it. But something in him called out, asking for help, and he hated himself for it.
"Oh no, Daddy," the little girl said as she stepped closer to her father. "You lost a friend?"
John shook his head. He knew there was no coming back from this. And though he hated himself for it, maybe partly because of the whiskey flowing through him, he decided to steer into the skid. "Yeah, baby. Do you remember my friend David? He gave you that little shell, remember?"
"Oh yeah!" she exclaimed excitedly at the memory of her dad's old friend David, who had often told her so many wonderful stories about The People, the importance of coyotes and fire. But then she realized what he was saying, and that smile turned upside down, as realization dawned, "Oh, no Daddy. Not—"
"David has embarked on his Spirit Journey," Her father said softly, his eyes focused on the dark desert that surrounded the Motel.
The little girl started to cry and ran towards her dad and hugged him. "I'm sorry, Daddy."
Holding onto his kid, he said, "It's okay. I'm pretty sure David is happy to be on his journey. It's only us who suffer from death. That's why we must bury these feelings of sadness and forget all about them. I don't think David would have wanted us to be sad for him. I think David would have wanted us to be strong and happy, so let's bury them down and forget all about them. How does that sound?"
The little girl wasn't convinced. "Bury down how we feel, Daddy?"
John nodded. "Yeah, all this does is make us weaker. We have to be strong, not just for ourselves or for society, but for those we lost and… loved. That way they know we are happy."
Little Aubrey was hesitant but she took this idea and turned it into a core belief. So, for the rest of her life, Aubrey would hide her feelings, always portray strength, and would never let her weakness show.
Aubrey had tears flowing freely down her cheeks, and she realized she had been holding her breath this whole time, suffering through the memory. She understood now why this old motel kept calling to her. She had come to this place many times in the past with her father. They would meet with his friend David, and they would go off into the desert to a secret military base to perform secret military things that Aubrey had no idea about. While she stayed in the Motel the friendly staff would look after her.
All those years, her father had lied to her.
He had made her believe that sadness was weakness, and that crying was the ultimate show of weakness. He had taught her that her perception of her self-worth was highly dependent on how others perceived her. Unknowingly, he had taught her that her value was contingent on strength. To ask for help was the manifestation of weakness.
Bottle it up, bury it deep down, fill it with cement, and forget all about it.
Aubrey deflated, her body slumped against the rail, she was still crying but she laughed.
Stacie, who had witnessed the whole thing, stepped closer, concerned for her friend, "Aubrey…"
Aubrey shook her head in disbelief. Her entire life, all the suffering she had been through, boiled down to one moment of stoic, quiet, and misguided suffering. Beliefs and values had been passed down from generation to generation of the Posen family members who had suffered the brutal loss of war. But those values now simply served to hurt her and, they had damn near killed her.
She had held herself to his impossible metrics for such a long time. It had shaped her into a perfectionist, slightly conservative, and neurotic woman with crippling anxiety and a tendency to vomit when everything wasn't just as perfect as she envisioned. His philosophy had made her feel dysfunctional and broken.
That's why she'd shut out everyone around her when she needed them the most. She'd shut out her husband Jesse, her best friend Chloe, and the rest of her Barden Bella sisters.
She had even shut out every facet of herself from herself, diving into a deep stage of denial.
Aubrey turned her head and saw Stacie, standing there in the middle of the pathway, a few feet from her, and in her face a look of concern.
Aubrey broke through her momentary suffering and smiled at the sight. This woman reminded her of a lesson she'd learned a long time ago thanks to a tiny brunette. That it was OK to be sad, it was OK to fail, and it was OK to ask for help. You learn from failure, you recover from sadness, and you become stronger when you ask for help. Asking for help was the ultimate manifestation of strength.
Aubrey looked away and whispered, "God damn it, Daddy."
Looking at the Motel below her, she realized why she kept being drawn to this place. It was once a beautiful haven that presented an opportunity for people to feel safe in the middle of the dark harsh desert, it was a literal and metaphorical oasis.
This had been the place where she saw through her father's stoicism and caught a glimpse of his vulnerability.
This place was her. Once beautiful, composed, and sturdy, it was now abandoned, neglected, and broken down.
Like her, it could be all of these beautiful things again, and this time it wouldn't have to be perfect. It just has to be.
"Stace?" Aubrey whispered with a small tremble in her voice.
Stacie, taking a cautious step toward her friend, said, "Yeah?"
Aubrey turned to her, feeling an immense wave of relief and fire she shed her tears, and gave her friend the biggest smile she'd ever seen, "I want to buy this place!"
"You— you want to buy this place?" Stacie asked, perplexed as she looked around her.
"Yes," Aubrey answered, her smile unwavering.
Stacie saw the old Aubrey. Not the badass captain of the Barden Bellas she admired, this was the Aubrey that during that final performance had thrown away her blazer mid-dance and decided to be free and just enjoyed herself. In this moment the blonde woman standing before her looked so beautiful, and she was smiling so brightly, so sincerely. Stacie Conrad found that smile so impossibly attractive. She nodded with a small blush and said, "OK, then—"
Then something impossible happened, Stacie saw beyond Aubrey, towards the Motel below them. She could see the future of this place. She could see walls being painted into bright beautiful colors, all the garbage being collected and replaced with tasteful decor, its faded and broken doors, and windows all being replaced with new, and shiny versions of themselves. Just looking at Aubrey's smile, she could see the magic the woman could do with this place. That magic convinced her.
"Wow! OK! Fuck yeah! I can see it, Bree!"
Aubrey and Stacie climbed back in the car. Aubrey was breathing, and she had a small satisfied smile on her face. Stacie took a deep breath and now that the elation was settled, she turned to Aubrey and screamed, "You've been carrying a gun this whole time? And you didn't tell me?"
Aubrey jumped and grabbed onto the handle of the SUV, startled, and said defensively, "My dad gave it to me! I always have it! For protection!"
"From now it stays in your car until you get a proper safe for it and keep it in a place high and far away from B.B. capisce?" Stacie threatened and she glared at her friend.
Aubrey her eyes still wide with shock stammered, "Uh— Yeah, totally no problem! I'll order one right now!"
Stacie's demeanor automatically shifted to her usual cheery self, "Good! Wanna get takeout on the way for lunch? I don't know if I can wait until we unload all this stuff." Stacie turned the engine over and started to drive away.
"Um, sure Stace, whatever you want!" Aubrey stammered, her heart still stuck in her throat. She may be the one with a loaded firearm in her purse but, inside this SUV Stacie was the real pistol.
After they stocked the pantry Aubrey spent the good half of the afternoon on the phone with her lawyers finding out more information about the place. Then around 3pm they headed towards B.B. school and picked her up.
Aubrey was giddy with excitement about everything that happened throughout the day. She gestured to the package stowed by her feet at Stacie asking for permission. Stacie gave her a nod. Aubrey quickly turned around her seat and looked at B.B. in her passenger seat with a bright smile.
"I have a present for you!"
"I love presents!" B.B.'s eyes lit up.
"Yes!" Aubrey quickly pulled out the art supplies set and showed it to B.B. who wowed in amazement of all the pretty colors and different pencils and brushes.
"Wow, Auntie Bree!"
"What do you think? Do you like it?"
"Yes!"
"What do we say, baby?" Stacie asked, looking at the interaction from her rearview mirror.
"Thank you, Auntie Bree!" The little girl gave her the biggest toothy smile that made Aubrey melt.
"You are welcome, Angel! Actually, I was thinking, how would you feel about maybe us finding you a school or a teacher so you can learn more about coloring? You could use these!"
B.B. frowned slightly and looked up from the art set, "But I already know how to color."
"Yes but what if you could learn some cool techniques and be even more amazing!"
B.B. didn't respond, she just looked at the art set, uncertain.
Stacie still watching the interaction quietly in the rearview mirror, could tell B.B. was feeling uncomfortable and interrupted "Well, think about it baby, no pressure!" then she gave Aubrey a side eye and added, "Right Auntie Bree?"
"Yeah, of course, B.B. no pressure!" Aubrey turned back and settled on her seat, looking down. She didn't quite understand what just happened, but she felt like she had done something wrong.
After they got home and settled in, Aubrey noticed that B.B. had left the art set on the table, still sealed. She stared at it, feeling a mix of confusion and hurt. Stacie walked up behind her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Don't take it personally," Stacie said softly. "She'll come around in her own time."
Aubrey sighed, her voice tinged with uncertainty. "Did I do something wrong? I just wanted to…"
"You can't rush these things, Bree," Stacie reassured her. "Give her space and she'll warm up to the idea when she's ready."
Aubrey nodded, though she still seemed unconvinced. She took a moment to look at the untouched art set, a small frown on her face as she processed Stacie's words.
"You're probably right," she sighed and deflated, "I guess I just got carried away."
Stacie gave her a gentle pat on the back. "It's okay, she'll appreciate it in her own time."
Aubrey took a deep breath, trying to shake off her disappointment, "Um- Alright! I need to shift gears." Aubrey cleared her throat and straightened up, "I've got to call Jesse and tell him about the motel."
As she headed towards her room, she forced herself to focus on her upcoming project. The excitement she had for the motel project was slowly cheering her up.
"You want to buy a motel in the Mojave?" Jesse asked, still half-asleep. It was the middle of the night in Munich.
"Yes!" Aubrey said, almost jumping out of her chair.
"I'm sorry, I'm half-asleep.
"Oh right, I'm sorry I didn't think about how late it was for you! I was just so excited."
"Yeah, um so when you say you want to buy it, do you mean the company?" Jesse asked, trying to wake up fully.
"No, the board would never go for it. I can afford it on my own and it wouldn't even make a dent in my dividends," Aubrey clarified.
Jesse's confusion shifted to concern. "Okay, so we're buying a motel?"
"No, I'm buying the motel," Aubrey said protectively.
Jesse sat up surprised and a little hurt. "Fine, okay. You're buying a motel. But then what? What do you want to do with it?"
Aubrey's voice softened. "I'm not sure yet, but I think it could be a good investment opportunity."
"Well, alright! I could help with the renovations and stuff," Jesse offered. "Could be a fun project for us to do together."
Aubrey paused, she hadn't considered this, and then realized she didn't want Jesse involved in this, "No, Jesse. I need to do this on my own," she said firmly.
Jesse's eyes widened with surprise, "Oh! Um alright, wait what about us though? Both our jobs are in Santa Barbara. How would this work?" Jesse asked.
Aubrey's eyes widened as she realized she hadn't told him, "Actually, about that… I've taken a more silent role in the company,"
Aubrey took a deep breath. She was about to say something that's been sitting in the back of her mind. "And I've actually been toying with the idea of stepping down altogether,"
Jesse sat up, fully awake. "Wait! You did what? When were you going to tell me?"
"Things have been crazy, and it must have slipped my mind. It's not a big deal," Aubrey said dismissively.
"It is a big deal! I'm starting to feel edged out here," Jesse said, his frustration becoming evident in his voice.
"And that's how I felt for months!" Aubrey shot back, her tone sharp.
Jesse winced and then took a deep breath, trying his best to stay calm. "Are you going to keep punishing me for that?"
"Do you think an apology automatically makes everything okay? It's going to take time," Aubrey replied.
Jesse broke and loudly said, "You know what? You're not the only one that's hurting! I lost a child too!"
Aubrey went quiet for a moment, blindsided by the comment, she hadn't considered how he was processing the miscarriage and said, "You never told me about it… How was I supposed to know."
Jesse took an audible deep breath, she could tell he was trying to pull himself together, "Look! I'm trying here, Aubrey, I'm just— I don't know trying to process this stuff," Jesse said, his voice softer now.
"Me too, that's exactly what I'm trying to do here" Aubrey responded, matching his tone. And she realized that they've been processing things differently and separately.
Jesse audibly sighed and said, "I'm just worried you're avoiding everything we've been through,"
"Or maybe I'm finding my own way. This feels right for me," Aubrey explained.
"If this is what you need, then do it. But… please don't forget we're in this together," Jesse said.
"I won't. But I need to figure out who I am outside of us," Aubrey replied.
Jesse sighed, defeated. "You already started speaking to your real estate lawyer, didn't you?"
"Yes," Aubrey admitted.
"Well, can't you wait until I come back? We can discuss it more than," Jesse suggested, trying to regain some control.
Aubrey felt a surge of annoyance. "No, I don't want to wait," she said, her tone icy.
"Are you sure? This seems impulsive," Jesse said, trying to keep his voice calm.
"I know but… can't I be impulsive for once? I'm tired of planning every second of my life," Aubrey said defensively.
"Well, guess there's nothing left to say," Jesse said, resigned.
"How'd he take it?" Stacie asked from the comfort of her couch.
Aubrey dramatically fell onto the couch, face-first into Stacie's lap. Stacie yelped in surprise and blushed at having Aubrey's face suddenly inches from her crotch.
"He offered to help," Aubrey said, her voice muffled.
The soft vibration of Aubrey's voice made Stacie feel warm all over. She cleared her throat. "That's nice, I guess".
"I want to do this alone."
"If that's what is important to you, then I say go for it."
"So you support me on this?" Aubrey asked as turned her head around and looked up at Stacie.
"Yeah, of course."
Aubrey still looking at her begged, "Help me. Please tell me I'm not crazy for doing this."
"You're not crazy for doing this, Bree. You're Aubrey Fucking Posen, you can do this!" Stacie said as she gently ran her fingers through her hair. "Besides, you looked really happy."
"I did?"
"Yep." Stacie nodded with a shrug.
"And that's it? It's a good idea because I looked happy?"
"That's it! What else is there?"
Aubrey went quiet, her mind was a chaos of revelations and decisions. After a second, she took a deep breath and stood up, with a determined nod. "I need to clear my head! Cooking always helps! I'm going to get started on dinner! Any special requests?"
Stacie blinked, noticing that Aubrey needed to regain control of the situation. She smiled warmly at her and said, "Oh! Um, surprise me?"
For the next couple of days, they settled into a comfortable routine. It was a little loud, messy and so much fun. The good kind of chaos Aubrey liked to call it. She'd wake up early and get started on coffee, which then turned into also working on breakfast for her girls. Aubrey would make Stacie a very light and healthy breakfast, usually toast with jelly and oatmeal. Now that she understood the trick to get B.B. to eat, she would present her two healthy options, and B.B. always picked one. Then Aubrey would have her pick between two fruits. Aubrey made sure BB had a healthy and balanced breakfast while Stacie watched with admiration.
Aubrey would then see Stacie off but not before giving her a packed lunch and plenty of snacks. And sometimes she'd even pack the cookies she and B.B. baked the night before.
Stacie initially found the lunch bag puzzling, and its contents while wonderful were confusing. No one had ever done anything this thoughtful for Stacie. It was odd and new, but she rolled with it, and she quickly became the envy of her colleagues with her lunches and her cookies. It became a spectacle, her colleagues would gather around her and cheer as she unveiled her magnificent lunches. Mostly they just wanted her to share the cookies with them. She quickly grew to love her lunches, and the fact that it made the rest of the staff at the hospital jealous was a delightful added bonus.
Aubrey would drop off B.B. at Kindergarten. Then she'd have a lot of time to herself. Initially, this was the hardest part of her day. All alone in Stacie's house with only her thoughts to keep her company. But she kept busy, one of her biggest projects was reorganizing Stacie's garage and that took hours.
As she sorted through it all she found the most wonderful treasures. Turns out Stacie kept a lot of their old Barden Bella's mementos and various picture albums. She never knew that Stacie had taken so many pictures during their time at Barden, and much less that she'd gone through all the trouble of printing them out and sorting them into carefully detailed scrapbooks. Her fingers gently caressed each picture lovingly as she relived each precious memory.
She also found albums of Stacie when B.B. was born. The sight of her girls so young made her cry for a million reasons. One of them was regret. Aubrey regretted that she hadn't been there to help Stacie, she hadn't been there to see B.B. take her first steps or say her first words. This would become her favorite album.
The final treasure was a box of all of B.B.s paintings. They were all colorful and creative, and some of them were dedicated "For Mommy." Aubrey carefully categorized each precious album and stored it in a place of honor on the shelves where she could find them easily whenever she wanted.
There were other times when she'd do some serious deep cleaning around the house, moving appliances and cleaning behind and beneath them. Sometimes she'd indulge herself and cry while watching some crappy daytime reality TV while clutching one of the albums. Then feeling refreshed and healed after a good cry, she'd get B.B. from Kindergarten, and it was back to the races.
Thankfully Stacie was right, B.B. eventually opened her present and she and Aubrey would color together for an hour in the afternoon. Aubrey still wanted to explore getting B.B. some proper art training but decided to bide her time.
When Stacie got home, B.B. would run into her arms and Aubrey would greet her with a glass of wine in hand. They would all sit at the dinner table and have a spectacular dinner together.
In the late evenings after putting B.B. to bed, Aubrey and Stacie would sit in the living room or in the backyard by the fire pit and share a glass of wine or an expensive Single Malt Scotch. They would talk about everything and nothing. Aubrey learned how little she truly knew of her friend. Stacie was brilliant, hilarious, and fiercely passionate. Aubrey just loved listening to her talk. She was particularly enthralled by her stories of Ballet.
These quiet, intimate, and boozy evenings with Stacie became the best part of her day.
On Thursday evening, as Aubrey worked on their dinner, she received a phone call. She looked at her phone and recognized the number, it was her real estate lawyer. She spoke briefly on the phone hung up and took a deep breath, trying to settle her nerves. And with renewed vigor, she worked on their dinner.
Just as she finished pouring two glasses of Merlot, she heard the front door opening.
Right on time, Aubrey humphed happily as she placed the stopper back on the bottle and placed it in the center of the table.
"Angel, Mommy's home!" Aubrey announced as she grabbed one of the wine glasses and started to walk towards the front door.
B.B. came running down the stairs.
"Please walk, Angel, don't run. We don't want you to fall," Aubrey said calmly.
"Sorry! Auntie Bree!" B.B. apologized and started to walk down the stairs, and as soon as she cleared the last step she sprinted towards the front door just in time to jump on top of her mother.
"Hi, baby girl!" Stacie said as she picked up her daughter. "You are getting so big!"
"No, I'm not! I'm still a baby!" B.B. protested.
"You will always be my little baby," Stacie said reassuringly as she planted kisses all over her daughter's face.
Aubrey stopped a few feet from them to take in the scene. She was in awe of how even though Stacie looked a little bit haggard after her long shift in the hosptial she was always cheery and just so painfully pretty and energetic. She was also in awe of the gentle smile she always had ready for her daughter. Aubrey remembered that this was Stacie after all, and she was magic.
Stacie closed her eyes as she took in the fragrant smell of the dinner Aubrey cooked. She looked at the blonde standing in front of her with a wine glass in hand and smiled. "Damn wifey, it smells amazing!"
"Thanks!" Aubrey didn't even register being called wifey, because ever since that day in the school Stacie had begun to jokingly incorporate it daily into their conversations. Aubrey was beaming as she offered the glass of wine.
"Oh thanks, you're a lifesaver," Stacie said as she accepted the glass.
"You hungry?" Aubrey asked.
Stacie groaned dramatically and slumped. "I am starved!"
"Good! Because I went all out!" Aubrey declared and turned to lead her back to the dining room.
Stacie watched as Aubrey walked away and reflected on how wonderful it was to come home to this. To her.
B.B. teased, "Mommy, you are so red! You look like a tomato!"
"What? No, I'm not! I just had a long day. Go on and get cleaned up for dinner, missy!" Stacie said with a playful frown as she placed B.B. down and she ran towards the bathroom giggling. Stacie took a deep breath, trying to will the flush from her cheeks away, and walked over to the already set up dining table.
Aubrey wasn't kidding when she said she went all out with dinner. She got them a couple of dry-aged filet mignon steaks which she made in a cast iron skillet, and creamy mashed potatoes with sour cream and chives, some homemade gravy, and a side of grilled asparagus. Stacie looked at the dinner in awe.
Every night this week involved a fantastic dinner, with a great wine pairing. This was a radical shift from their usual dinner. Some nights the nanny would make a simple meal and leave it for them. Other times Stacie would get takeout on the way home and other times Stacie would eat whatever she could find on the fridge or skip dinner altogether. Stacie grabbed her fork and knife, cut the beautifully seared steak, and appreciated how the juices slowly dripped. She examined the color, it was the right hue of pink in the center, medium rare, just how she liked it. She took a bite and moaned as the perfectly seasoned and tender steak melted in her mouth.
"How is it?" Aubrey asked, she had her hands on her chin and watched eagerly for Stacie's approval.
"It's fantastic! Oh, wow!"
B.B. on her little lifted chair was also enjoying a bit of cut-up steak and was nodding approvingly. Aubrey grinned at the sight of the little girl enjoying her food. Satisfied everyone was pleased with her meal she dug in.
"You know if you keep treating me like this I'm gonna have to propose, right?" Stacie teased, temporarily forgetting that her friend was already married.
Aubrey laughed at that, daintily covering her mouth with her hand. She shook her head. Stacie's unashamed flirting always made her laugh and blush a little. It felt nice to be wanted, even if it was just teasing. Because that's all it was with Stacie, teasing.
"I thought we were already married, with you calling me wifey and all," Aubrey teased back. She coukd dish it out too.
Stacie almost spat out her wine laughing. "Oh, Bree, if we were married…" She trailed off.
"Yes?" Aubrey looked up expectantly.
Stacie was about to say something but then caught sight of B.B. cleared her throat and said, "Nothing, I'd just be really grateful."
Aubrey looked disappointed for a second but smiled and went back to her meal.
Around 8pm after they finished dinner, they had another glass of wine and sat on the couch next to each other and talked about their day. B.B. sat on the floor and watched Hook again on the TV. As Aubrey was talking, Stacie took in her appearance. Aubrey wore a tasteful and expensive white blouse, with perfectly fitting jeans, and her hair just looked flawless. She looked good. Stacie cleared her throat again and corrected herself. Aubrey Posen looked damned good, Stacie thought as she bit her nails absentmindedly. Her other hand twirled the ruby liquid in its glass. But more importantly, Stacie noticed that Aubrey was smiling widely.
"Oh, I kinda have big news."
"Hmm?" Stacie snapped out of her reverie and refocused on Aubrey. "Big news?"
"I got it," Aubrey said with a restrained smile, her face was starting to hurt from smiling.
Stacie slapped her thigh and shouted, "The Motel? You bought the Motel?"
Aubrey nodded quickly.
Stacie almost jumped off the couch and shouted, "Oh my God Bree! That's amazing!"
"Mommy shush!" B.B. complained. "Captain Hook is speaking!"
"Sorry baby!" Stacie switched to a stage whisper while Aubrey laughed. "Are you serious right now? You got it?"
"Yeah and I got it for a steal" Aubrey stage whispered back, trying her hardest not to squeal with joy.
"So, what's the plan?"
"Well, tomorrow I'm going to have an inspector come in while B.B. is in school and we'll go from there."
Stacie thought about it for a second and said, "Guess what else is happening tomorrow."
"What?"
"You and me, we're hitting the town and we're celebrating!"
"We are?" Aubrey asked, perplexed by the sudden declaration.
"You betcha, we're gonna sl- " Stacie cauhter hersel and shifted gears, "Get all dressed up and celebrate properly!"
Aubrey giggled when she caught what Stacie was about to say, "That sounds fun but what about B.B.?"
Stacie looked at her daughter and after a second got an idea. "Oh! I'll talk to Garcia tomorrow and see if his sister can take her."
Aubrey frowned and asked, "Who is she? What's she like? What are her qualifications?"
"Don't worry, she's more than capable, she used to look after B.B. a few years ago. But if it makes you feel better you can grill her later, but tomorrow you and me we are going out no matter what, and that's final!"
Aubrey thought about it for a second, she was already thinking about what to make for dinner tomorrow night and had thought about baking a cake but this sounded so much more fun. She was curious about what the nightlife in this small town looked like, and looking at Stacie she wondered what fun hijinks would the night bring. "Alright! yeah! That sounds fun!"
"Good, it's a date!" Stacie exclaimed happily as she turned back to the TV, finding the movie Hook very interesting.
Aubrey's eyes widened at the word date, and she remembered that tomorrow was Friday, and she had a standing phone date with her husband. She frowned as she thought about ways to get out of it.
To be continued.
Author's Note: What an incredibly complex and difficult chapter this has been. From Stacie's dream to Jesse's and Aubrey's fight to those subtle moments of kink being reawakened and then balancing domestic bliss and the difficult flashbacks that finally revealed Aubrey's pull to the Motel. In many ways, this chapter is one of the most important chapters of the whole series. We are so close to the moment we've all been waiting for…
I love this story. I throw everything I have into it, I give it my heart, my soul, and honestly, if it asked for my blood I'd give it willingly. I love showing you all how intricate Aubrey and Stacie's psyche is, and what it took for them to become the SM powerhouse couple they are in HC.
I'm incredibly grateful to you for taking the time to read this story. It means the world to me.