As much as he loved his summer days, Hizashi had a weakness for summer nights. When the air remained dry but the humidity, the scalding heat, had come to an end leaving a chilly atmosphere to the world. When he could still feel the lingering heat in the air while remaining chilled enough to wear a light jacket. Summer nights were a stark contrast to those blazing days where the sun beamed down with a heat to leave sunburn behind. A heat that had cicadas screaming in the trees throughout the day around their school.
Unseen in the trees along the street. He hated the idea of having an insect of some kind buzzing much to close for his comfort. He hated the daytime when bees or flies became curious and bold enough to buzz near his hearing aids. When he saw a stink bug that always left him panicking silently or the wasps that buzzed around the classroom lights. But even with his fear of insects, summer was a time of that bitter sweetness. Days that felt like an eternity from start to finish. Like they were dragging out purposefully.
Like anything was possible. As if something were passing him by. There was nothing that could make him hate the summertime. If anything, those summer nights made that stretch of eternity feel all the better. He could deal with the mosquitos that buzzed around his hearing aids. The bites that he inevitably got throughout the night that he failed to notice. Summer nights had always been his favorite thing. He remembered the one time they went to his grandmother's home and that night his grandfather took him out.
Out to the backyard where he showed him a patch of lightening bugs. It had horrified him, but he could still admire their beauty. There was something always an unspoken beauty to his summer nights that he liked to carry with him. And yet, despite lacking the heat of the daytime, he could still feel that trace of warmth in the air. Something that could leave him flushed despite how still he could be. Summer nights were always spent outside playing with his younger sisters who adored playing with him.
The sounds of their shrieks filling the night air while their mothers sat with glasses of wine on the porch. There was nothing he adored more than spinning around on his feet until he was sick and hitting the grass. When he could ignore the buzzing insects of the nighttime. The chirping, unseen crickets in the grass that took over for the lack of screeching cicadas that would kick to life more actively in the morning. There was something absolutely magical about his summer nights that he had come to adore.
A bittersweet sensation to them that left him drooping and ready for bed by the time his mothers called him in. As a teenager, he often found himself taking long bike rides through the neighborhood when the sun went down. Something his mothers allowed so long as he had his reflectors and light on his bike. How sweet his summer nights felt when he was cruising around the neighborhood on his bike. The wind tugging through his hair, whistling past his hearing aids, as he rode his bike around the neighborhood.
To ride it until the street lights were flickering to light and he was getting that famous "come home" text from his mothers. When the blonde could hear his mothers calling for him the closer he got to home where he was dragged inside, itching, and jumping in the shower. Summer nights were a magical eternity that seemed to never end. The hours stretching themselves out for him to enjoy as long as he possibly can. A polar opposite to how those summer days seemed to stretch out for hours at a time.
When his days were eaten up at school only to be taken to the lake in the next instance. When he got to admire the way, the leaves cast their patterns on Shouta's face when they were lounging about beneath that tree as they waited on Oboro before hitting a café. If there was anything he learned, it was that he adored summertime for it threw Shouta into a new light. While the black-haired teen seemed to cringe away from the abundance of sunlight, he found the teen beautiful. Absolutely stunning under the light.
The rich blackness of his slightly curled hair held a faint glossy sheen to it despite being frizzed out. The sunlight called attention to how pale Shouta seemed to be. But he loved nothing more than to watch the wind tease those black curls that had his fingers itching to replace. To watch the way shadows played over Shouta's face or how the sunlight brought out those deep gray highlights in his dark eyes. How enthralled he was to see Shouta in the sunlight which highlight the subtleties about him that was brought to light.
He was a beauty in the sunlight that he couldn't get enough of gawking at when he had the chance for it. Shouta had always been lovely, but the summer sun seemed to really call too much attention to how lovely he was. Could anyone blame him for thinking Shouta was a girl at first? He still regretted that he had but God, Shouta was far more lovely than any of the other girls their age. Even with his scratchy stubble on his chin, Shouta remained one of the most attractive people he'd ever met. One of the most beautiful.
There was no doubting that so perhaps that's why he felt so nervous about it? About confessing to him? He couldn't wrap his head around what was said to him in the past, but he was ready. For better or worse, he is ready to confess to Shouta. After all, Nemuri was right, wasn't she? He couldn't keep swallowing down his emotions. Couldn't keep denying what he knew for certain. He had to take his shot and he had to take it tonight. When Nemuri had shown up at his apartment building, he'd been buzzing with nerves.
He had been going back and forth on his own about what the hell he was going to do tonight. He'd been uncertain. Scared. He was more than sure that if he gave it more time that he'd regret it but was he ready to make a confession? He'd had Nemuri running him through his confession down to how he held himself. What he did with his hands and what he said to make sure it wasn't overbearing. So it didn't come across as pushy. God knows the lower the sun got in the sky, however, the antsier he got.
Upon entering the festival, he'd done his best to win Shouta a cat plushie. It was the one request of Shouta's that he took upon himself to do his best to get and once he did? Shouta held onto that plushie like a damn life preserver. He'd gotten one of the sweetest smiles he'd ever seen on Shouta be aimed his way with a rather genuine thanks. It had chewed through a bit of his money, but he didn't mind it one bit. In fact, he swore Shouta hadn't put that cat plushie down once tonight. Not once did it leave the black-haired teens grasp.
Shouta held the cat plushie like a baby in his arms. Going so far as to jerk it away or slap at Oboro's and Nemuri's hands when they reached out to touch it. As if he had to defend it from other hands that were his or Shouta's. The cat had even sat on the black-haired teen's lap while they'd all gotten something to eat for dinner much to his delight. And from there? Well, Shouta merely crushed it to his chest or held it on his hip. Refusing to let another touch it. And -despite his anxiety about it- as the sky darkened.
A changing in lighting that allowed him to admire the beauty of Shouta. He came to admire the way the light shifted and danced over that pale face. The way the lights caught in those wide dark eyes of his. He was awed. Riveted. He didn't think he could look away from Shouta when that toy had been placed in his arms. The sparkle of delight in them when they flicked up to him. The soft smile that had curled over full lips with that wistfulness to tug at his damn heart. It looked so sweet and he swore he'd never seen it before.
And God knows he'd win Shouta a million prizes if it meant that he got the soft, shy smile aimed his way again. It had left those fluttering, butterfly nerves of his threatening to choke him when Shouta sat the cat on his lap before diving into their meal. Splitting a pizza four ways, he'd been more than happy to cover Shouta's drink and dessert for him. The black-haired teen had turned pink before his very eyes before accepting his insistence to cover the difference. It left him with just enough money to get them tickets for the Ferris Wheel.
He wanted nothing more than for Shouta to have as much fun as possible. It had been his goal after they walked about the festival after they finished their dinner. There had been a brief moment when they'd been separated from one another with Nemuri once again coaching him on what to say. What to do. How to confess without scaring Shouta away. He didn't want to screw this up; he'd practiced for hours with Nemuri last night. Had practiced on their walk over to the bus stop. He felt ready and nervous.
He felt confident that he could do this. And that sickening drop to his stomach insisted that he wasn't ready. But how much longer would he let himself wait? How much longer would he stand off on the sidelines and wait for Shouta to bite the bullet for both of them? What if Shouta didn't feel the same and he never got to confess? What was he going to do with all these feelings of his? How did he explain to Shouta without scaring him away? He tried to bite off the feelings that were insisting he wasn't ready.
But he knew he was. It was the whole damn reason he'd invited Shouta to the festival! He wanted to confess. He wanted nothing more than to spill his guts about the sickening intensity in which he found himself crushing on the black-haired teen. He wanted to tell him how he stayed up at night imagining what it was like to weave his hands into his hair. What it would feel like to be known as Shouta's boyfriend. He wanted to tell him how badly he wanted to kiss his face. To press his lips to those full ones.
To hold his hands in his. How badly all night long he'd been itching to grab that loose strand of hair framing the left side of his face behind his ear. How badly he wanted to touch and kiss those pink cheeks of his. How badly he wanted to pour his love out to the black-haired teen. To tell him how many nights he'd been kept up at night with that longing. With the desperate desire to say something to him. How badly he wanted him. How badly he wants nothing more than to have Shouta return his feelings.
He'd spent days, nights, trying to find the right time to do this. To confess to Shouta that he loved him so desperately that there were nights he was left awake and restless. Unable to breathe under the sheer weight of his longing. His pining. He knew what to say and he'd practiced countless times with Nemuri. Had talked her ear off the previous night about what to say. What to do. And he had to admit that even with his preparing on how to confess to him that he felt sick. There was so much to lose.
This could go back. To say that he was terrified to say anything less it changes their friendship. But isn't that what he wanted? Isn't that what he desires, wishes, prays to change tonight? To no longer be best friends with Shouta but be something more? Isn't that the whole goal? It left him feeling utterly sick when he'd been shuffling around the festival with Shouta closer to him than ever. But God knows the knowing looks being traded between Shouta and Oboro had him feeling strangely antsy. Far more nervous than he'd like.
What was it that Oboro knew that he didn't? Nemuri seemed to share in his curiousness yet neither of the other boys would breathe a word about it. He knew it had something to do with the bus stop, but he knew he wouldn't get it out of Oboro. Or Shouta. Both had been tight lipped enough when Nemuri tried questioning them about it in that playful manner of hers. She had suggested he take him to the Ferris wheel before the line could get any longer. To go early before the fireworks so they'd have time to go on it.
And with Nemuri's suggestion, here they stood in line together closer than ever. He could feel his heart beating sickeningly against his chest when he peeked over at the black-haired teen next to him. Noting the way, he crushed that cat plushie of his to his chest with hands gripping at his coat to remain crossed. What was going through Shouta's head right now? Standing here, side by side, he found himself staring at the soft spots of pink on Shouta's face when dark eyes were locking onto him when he looked up.
And he found himself jumping when he jerked his gaze down instinctively when he felt a weak heat spreading over his own cheeks. What if Shouta didn't feel the same and he never got to confess? He swallowed when he found himself playing with the ear of his dog plushie rather nervously when he glanced up and shuffled forward with the black-haired teen moving with him. He didn't know what to do with himself. Nemuri knew what he was going to say. He knew what he was going to say to the black-haired teen.
But what if he didn't get it out right? What if he fucked it up somehow? What if he stumbled over his words and said something wrong? He bit his inner cheek when he glanced at Shouta again, only this time dark eyes were dropping away from him. His face burned at the awkwardness that was tearing into him. He wanted to do something to help soothe that silent awkwardness. He wanted to know what it was that Shouta and Oboro had been talking about before he and Nemuri came up to them. Why he'd held his hands.
He wanted to understand where these easily triggered blushes were coming from. He didn't know what to do with himself for the first time in all his time on Earth. For the first time in sixteen years, he didn't know what to do. What to say. He licked his lips before swallowing when he raised a hand up to scratch at the back of his neck where that heat burned viciously. He felt it stinging in the tips of his ears. He didn't know how to break the silent tension between them when he fidgeted before they were shuffling forward again.
Watching the Ferris wheel come to as top as it was emptied out another seat allowing another couple on. He pinched his lips together briefly when he took a deep breath through his nose before he turned to Shouta. He couldn't go on with this awkward talk they did around one another when they'd both been talking on and off with Oboro and Nemuri. It was wrong if he didn't talk to Shouta directly when they were going on the Ferris wheel together. When they would be watching the fireworks together tonight.
When he was going to confess to the black-haired teen so was it going to kill him to give some type of small talk with him? No. No, he didn't think so. He just had to be mindful of his words when he was talking to Shouta rather than spouting off random things in his head. Tonight was about keeping his feet on the ground and his head on his shoulders rather than letting himself float away. He just had to be cool. To not overthink what he said to the black-haired teen until it was time for that confession.
"So, um, are you having fun?" He hated how strained his voice sounded when black lashes fluttered in a blink. He coughed lightly when he squeezed the dog tighter to his side with his fingers playing with the tail of it when he stubbed his toe insistently into the ground. "I-I mean, you haven't really said much tonight, you know? And I just, um, want to make sure that you're having fun! I know it's not re-really your, uh, scene and I don't want you to be unhappy or anything!"
Babbling. He was babbling at the wide-eyed Shouta who glanced down then with that lock of hair swaying against his left cheek with arms adjusting their hold on the cat plushie in his arms before he was looking up at him with a sigh leaving him. "I'm fine. I mean, it's definitely not my thing and I wouldn't go to another one, but this is fine. I'm having some fun, surprisingly, but don't stress too much about me having fun, yeah? What about you? Are you having fun tonight?"
Was he having fun? He wouldn't say that. Not when it felt like he was going to bring up his dinner all over his damn feet. When his heart was throbbing in his chest thinking of the conversation after this. The fireworks. Was he having fun? No. Not at this moment but he wouldn't dare to say it out loud. "I'm doing alright! It's definitely been fun for me! I honestly love little festivals like this one! Do you, um, like your cat? I know you wanted the other, but I hope that one's okay?"
"Oh. Oh, yeah, no this is fine. I like this one better than the other one." He swore those pink spots of color on Shouta's cheeks deepened slightly with arms tightening their grasp on the cat. That soft, slight smile curled over Shouta's lips as his head ducked down slightly with shoulders scrunching up slightly. "I appreciate you getting it for me, Zashi. Really. I know exactly where this is going to go when I get home tonight, you know? I really appreciate you winning it for me. What do you think of your dog?"
"I love it!" He shifted the small dog to hold with his hands when he smiled at the pink faced Shouta as he flipped the ears up with his thumbs before pressing it back to his side. "I think, though, I have enough money to try and win you the other cat if you want it by the time we're heading out! That is, if you want it still, you know? No pressure! But I can always try to win it for you if you want the other badly enough! I have enough to do another game so let me know, okay? I don't mind doing that!"
"Don't worry about it. I'm fine with this one. Maybe, um, next year if we come back, you can get me the other one?" Next year? It had his heart fluttering when he fidgeted before smiling widely at the black-haired teen who let his own smile widen slightly with dark eyes dropping down to the cat in his arms. The darkness, the soft lighting of the festival, gave Shouta an absolutely lovely appearance. Softer. Approachable. It was wreaking havoc on him the longer he stared at that face in the soft lighting.
"Yeah! You know what, I can totally do that if they come back next year!" He fidgeted again with his toe stubbing into the dirt before he dropped his foot again with his toes curling slightly as he fought the urge to bounce up onto them. Holding his plush to his side tightly, he licked his lips then cleared his throat again before he smiled at Shouta. "Have you ever been on a Ferris wheel before? I was on one when I was a kid back when my mothers used to bring me to every damn festival around!"
Shouta glanced up at him when he shifted slightly with that small black ponytail bobbing slightly with his movement. He'd never seen Shouta with his hair tied back like that, but it was a look that he liked. His stomach was dropping with such intensity it left him absolutely breathless when Shouta's licked his lips causing them to glisten lightly. "No. I've actually never been on one, but I've been playing with heights with my capture weapon, so this doesn't seem like much. I should be able to handle it."
"You can hold my hand if you want!" Five words. Five little words that had him blinking when Shouta's head snapped up for the first time giving him a clear view of his face. And those pink spots were deepening into a red blush rather quickly when hsi own face was hit with a rush of heat. His lips moved silently with his hands fussing with the end of his shirt. Why had he said that? Why did he offer that? Was it because he wanted too? Or to soothe him? "I, um, didn't mean to say that! I mean, I was gonna joke but-!"
"If you're okay with it." His words clogged his throat when Shouta finally spoke as he fidgeted with that red face ducking down when he let out a wheezing breath. His arms- No, was all of him trembling? Why? His face was uncomfortably hot when Shouta peeked up at him with full lips pinching together before parting as his shoulders scrunched up. He snapped his own mouth shut to swallow when Shouta's arms tightened around his plush. "It-It doesn't need to be weird, you know. So, if you're offering then I-I don't mind."
What was going on? Why wasn't Shouta ripping his throat out? Why wasn't he angry? Normally comments like that had Shouta all but ripping him apart with that hissing, venomous tone while he was told not to joke like that. To make jokes so insensitively. But he agreed? Why did he agree? He wished he could see that red face again; to see if Shouta was serious. He swallowed again when he found his own shoulders scrunching up slightly. "I- Okay! Okay, um, if you need too, you can hold it!"
He looked away from Shouta with his face burning uncomfortably hot. Stinging in the tips of his ears, he found himself plucking at the hem of his shirt to soothe the shaking of his hand. Clutching his stuffed dog to his side when the Ferris wheel came to a stop to let out three carriages. The line moving upwards, he couldn't help but tighten the hold he held on to the hem of his shirt when he and Shouta shuffled forward before coming to a stop. So close. In the next let off, they'd be in their own cart. Shouta might just hold his hand.
It had his face burning with a fresh wave of heat when the reality of his offer hit him. He didn't know what he'd been thinking when he said that to Shouta; he didn't know why he'd said it period. Was it because he was nervous still? Because of what he had planned that he wanted to say to Shouta? Or was it simply because all night long his hand had always been right there? He felt frantic to find an option to explain why he'd blurted out those five little words of his but if Shouta was okay with it then surely, he could do it?
Did he have to wait for Shouta to take it? Or did he take it? His heart was throbbing in his chest when he swallowed down against that knot of nervousness in his throat when he squeezed the dog plushie to his side when the Ferris wheel came to a stop allowing three more couples off. The three or so couples before them shuffled forward to take their seats in the carts leaving him and Shouta at the front of the line. He could feel those God-awful butterflies in his stomach threatening to make him puke before he even got on the ride.
He took the chance to peek out of the corner of his eye at Shouta who still seemed rather red faced himself. Curling the tail of the cat plushie around his fingers with nervous little tugs as his shoulders remained scrunched to his earlobes. He looked away when he squished his dog to his side with fingers clutching at the material of it. Watching the Ferris wheel going round, round, round. He felt closer to a panic attack than he ever thought he'd be in all his time knowing Shouta. In all his time he's spent alive.
Clinging to his dog, his fingers twitched as they tugged at the hem of his shirt. He wanted to take his hand now. He wanted to see if that hand was as supple as they looked. To know what it would feel like to have those fingers intertwined with his. He wants to hold his hand now. Not when they were on the Ferris wheel. It had his heart throbbing in his chest viciously at the temptation, the desire, when he swallowed before peeking at Shouta again. And he jumped when he found those dark eyes on him in response.
Shouta jerked his gaze away with full lips parting with a silent tremble. To apologize? To say something? He had not a clue for they pinched together with the black-haired teen's face ducking away. He didn't know how much longer he could stand the blush burning in his cheeks like this. He felt ready to keel over if it meant getting off of his shaky knees. There had never been a time in his life where he felt so nervous. He'd always been described as friendly, open, bubbly. Confident. A bold kid he'd heard was annoying.
And yet here he was about to puke on his damn shoes over telling Shouta how he felt. He swallowed again before coughing lightly to clear his throat when he glanced up at the soft white lighting of the Ferris wheel. The colors changed intermittently but right now it was a soft white. He peeked at Shouta again who was glancing up at the Ferris wheel. The white light played on his red face with the shadow of that lock of hair cast onto his cheek. Black lashes fluttering had small shadows cast onto his cheek when he blinked.
The light sparkled in those dark eyes beautifully making them appear bigger. Wider. Full lips parted slightly with arms tightening around that plushie within them. And that small ponytail of his swayed lightly when that light summer breeze came over them. Bringing the scents of pool chlorine and the faint smell of a BBQ. The faintest scent of Shouta's cologne; he didn't know what the main scent was supposed to be, but it was something spicy. He sniffed instinctively, which had those dark eyes flicking over to him again.
Those deep highlights of gray in those dark eyes made themselves all too abundant in the white light. His glasses slipped down his nose slightly to which he took the chance to break the eye contact in order to push them off. The heat burning in his cheeks was unbearably hot and God only knows how blotchy he looked. The blush on Shouta's cheeks was absolutely lovely. He couldn't imagine his look anything like Shouta's when the back of his neck burned. When the tips of his ears stung viciously from the heat.
He reached up to adjust his hearing aids then turn the volume down a bit. The last thing he wanted was the wind to overwhelm them and he ended up with a migraine from the feedback. And then the Ferris wheel was slowing down. Coming to a stop to let out a few carts and he stepped forward with Shouta at the ride attendants beckoning. He climbed up the stairs where he stepped to the side to let Shouta on first to which the black-haired teen gave a tight smile. Letting him climb in when he followed after him as he sat down.
The handlebars were placed down and he adjusted his own plushie into his lap like Shouta's was. His hands were shaking when he swallowed before holding his hand out to Shouta who blinked before turning that brilliant shade of red again before lifting his own hand up. And his hand was rough. Not at all supple like he'd thought it would be but he didn't mind it one bit when he hesitated. Waiting for Shouta to pull away before he slid his fingers through Shouta's who wiggled his own to fit comfortably.
Tight. Secure. Shouta held onto him tightly like he was his only leverage. His only anchor. And he held onto Shouta's hand with such delight coursing through him that didn't help a damn thing for his pounding heart. His fluttering stomach. How many nights did he imagine holding his hand? How many nights did he imagine what his hand would feel like in his? The reality was better than any longing fantasies could give him. Shouta's hand felt good in his. It felt a bit clammy like his but he didn't mind it one damn bit.
Shouta squeezed at his hand when they were taking off to which he hissed in a breath of surprise. Clinging to Shouta's hand as they came up at a decent pace; nothing too fast nothing too slow but the sudden lurch got him good. And he peeked at the black-haired who looked absolutely in awe of the view down below. The soft white light playing from beneath on his features as dark eyes sparkled as he looked down at the festival. Lips parting slightly as he looked down and around them curiously with a childlike awe.
As if he were awed by the sights from above even as he choked his hand in a tight grip. The wind blew past his ears at that low volume when he found himself gawking at Shouta. Did he want to wait for the fireworks? He was nervous. Painfully, stomach wrenchingly nervous but did he want to wait an extra fifteen minutes? Staring at Shouta's awed face, his heart fluttered sickeningly against his chest. He squeezed his hand instinctively when the black-haired teen turned from his gawking to look at him with wide eyes.
A crooked smile on his lips as the wind blew that black curl wildly against his cheek. His stomach was dropping but the black-haired teen then smiled at him. A warm, shy smile that had his heart pounding. His hands were shaking when he got a squeeze back from Shouta and he turned his attention back to the scenery below them. The soft lights of the festival. The brilliant reds and golds of decorations. The soft music that just barely made it up to them. The soft white light of the Ferris wheel was melting into a soft pink.
His heart was thunderous against his chest. Beating, beating, beating as they came to the top of the Ferris wheel when he sucked in sharply when he moved his thumb instinctively. Sliding gently over Shouta's absentmindedly, he stared down in awe as the pink of the Ferris wheel had him looking up again towards the black-haired teen. A smile curled over his lips when he found that gaze locked onto him with an unreadable expression on his face. That red blush was smothered over his cheeks as that black curl brushed against it.
God, if he didn't want to reach up to touch his cheek. If he didn't want to tuck that curl behind his ear. He was awed at the sight of Shouta. At the soft lights that played on hsi face throughout the night the darker it got. He'd looked positively lovely in the setting sun but tonight? Tonight he was positively radiant with the soft lights around them highlighting that beauty. Or was he just hyper fixated on Shouta knowing what was to come? Was he staring at him too much? Fuck, he hadn't thought he was staring that much!
He went to jerk his gaze away when he was stopped by a squeeze on his hand. He lifted his gaze up again to find full lips parting then moving as Shouta spoke to him. He could barely catch the deep sound of his voice but he couldn't make out what he was saying. And God knows he was too nervous to focus on those lips to figure out what he had said. Fuck, fuck! Why did Shouta feel the need to tell him something after he turned his hearing aids down? Why didn't he think? He was choking on that panic when he swallowed.
Taking a deep breath, he then used his free hand to gesture to them then pointed down. And then Shouta was ducking his face away to look down at the sights beneath them again. What had he said? What did he say that made him turn so red? He looked down when he felt his thumb moving to slid in a caress against his index finger which had him turning red again. He licked his lips as he moved his thumb against the back of his hand gently. Circles. He had to ask him what he'd said so he could figure it out.
That curiosity had him shifting slightly when he looked down at the soft lights around them as they began coming down the left side of the wheel. Admiring the pink of the Ferris wheel that glowed softly in the darkness. Flying down past the bottom when they were going back up again. The exhilaration of the ride had his blood coursing through his damn veins as he clung onto Shouta's hand. Squeezing it slightly with Shouta squeezing back as they swung back upwards for another round before they'd get off.
And he peeked over at Shouta who was staring down in awe again with his thumb moving against his index finger. His own moving over his thumb. He squeezed at the hand in his only to receive a squeeze back when Shouta leaned forward slightly to look down at the ground beneath them. And he felt his stomach fluttering at the sight of Shouta's face softly lit by the lights. The shadows and light cast over his red face as dark eyes looked down at the festival beneath them. The way he seemed to sit as far on the edge as he could.
His hair whipping with the breeze stirred up by the Ferris wheel that tugged at his coat playfully. He had never seen the black-haired teen look lovelier. Had never seen him look so beautiful in all the time they'd been best friends. The soft lights called attention to the sharp angle of his jaw. His cheekbones. The small shadows of his lashes cast onto his cheeks. The fullness of his lips parted in an open-mouthed smile. The sight of those eyes sparkling with the lights reflected in them. The subtle curve of his Adam's Apple.
Shouta was absolutely lovely air born as he had been on the ground with the soft lighting around them. He could feel that determination surging into him when he looked down at their conjoined hands. He knew he was nervous. Sickly nervous. But he was also determined to tell Shouta exactly how he felt. And with that hand in his? Well, he was sure that he could get it out of him. He was overthinking something that could be so simple. Something that didn't need to be pieced and plucked apart. He knew what he wanted to say.
All he had to do was tell Shouta. To say it out loud. There was no way he could last another night with the imagination anymore. He couldn't breathe around his longing desires anymore. He needed to get it out of his system and if that meant waiting for a reply from Shouta then so be it. As they came back to the top of the wheel, the soft pink lighting cast onto Shouta's face called attention to the softening blush on his cheeks. The black-haired teen then looked up at him with that open-mouthed smile of his.
And never, in all of his time since he developed this awful crush, had he wanted to press his lips to those full ones. Oh, he wanted to kiss Shouta. He wants too so badly. He tightened his grasp on Shouta's hand when dark eyes widened slightly as they flicked over his face. What was the expression on it? Desire? The painful, aching desire that left him gasping at night? The longing that was crushing his chest for him to do this one simple thing? He swallowed when shifted in his seat with his shoulder brushing against Shouta's.
And he swore that Shouta was leaning into him subtly. There was a flicker of something in that gaze that came and went quickly. Unreadable as they hovered near the top only to come flying backwards when he sucked in a shocked breath. The hand in his clutched at his with surprising strength which he returned in kind. Holding onto him fervently when he dropped his gaze from Shouta to count his breaths. In. Out. In. One. In. Out. Two. In. Out. Three. He was fine, fine, fine. He knew it was just his nerves.
They were similar to the nerves he felt before he got on the stage before a play. Was this just a strange form of stage fright that he'd never felt before? God, did he want to wait? He felt the wheel slowing the closer they got to the ground. He didn't want to let go. He didn't want to lose the warmth of Shouta's hand in his when the black-haired teen tightened his grasp on his hand. As if there was no intention of letting it go. Swallowing, the cart came to a stop as they stood up with an attendant on the other side of them waiting.
Holding the doors open to reveal the stairs off the ride would take them back to the ground. Standing up to Shouta, he moved forward in compliance with the light tug on his hand as they made their way past the small doors. Stepping onto the landing then reaching out for the railing as they walked down the stairs with his wobbly knees threatening to give out on him. And as they stepped off the final step to walk forward, Shouta's hand didn't leave his. In fact, it tightened on his as they walked forward.
Holding his tightly without the option of letting it go. It had his heart skipping and his stomach fluttering sickeningly when he happily held onto Shouta's hand. He didn't want to let it go either. Not now that he adored having it in his. Walking forward away from the Ferris wheel, he slid his thumb against the black-haired teens lightly with that thumb moving to stroke his index finger slightly. He then reached up with his free hand to turn the volume of his hearing aids up again to their regular volume.
Hugging his dog to his side again, he glanced over at Shouta who was holding onto his cat plushie tightly. Now they just needed to find their spot. They hadn't talked in depth about where to watch the fireworks, but he had a good idea on where he wanted to go to watch them. He couldn't deny there was a heat to his cheeks at the feeling of Shouta's rough hand in his. All these months, he'd always assumed that the black-haired teen's hand would be soft. Supple in his. That it would feel smoother than his own.
They certainly looked that way after all, but the reality was that they were rougher than they looked? Dryer? It was an amazing reality check that had him squeezing at Shouta's hand with fingers fitted snugly between his. His heart was thudding against his chest in such a way that he couldn't help but be thrown off. To feel off kilter when he knew that his heartbeat should be throbbing in his ears. It was a sensation that always threw him off but as he took a slow, deep breath they shuffled forward together.
God, he swore he'd never been more in love with someone than he was with Shouta. He'd had his crushes in the past, crushes he did nothing about, but these emotions? The sickening intensity of the feelings he carried for Shouta threatened to choke him. Threatened to drown him. Threatened to make him fumble with his words once he said them out loud. Minutes, hours, days he'd been imagining what it would be like to hold Shouta's hand. What it would be like to kiss his scruffy face until he was a giggling mess.
To make his face go pink from the kisses and nuzzles he gave to his cheeks. To hold his waist to tug him closer with lips pecking at his own face. What it would be like to kiss those full lips until he was melting in his hold. He wanted to tuck his hair behind his ears and playfully nip at them. To kiss, bite, and nuzzle the teen until he was twisting in his hold. He wants nothing more than to kiss him. To know what it would be like to have that deep voice crooning his name playfully. Gasping it as he touched his bare skin.
He wanted to know what it would be like to have Shouta refer to him as his boyfriend. So many desires, so many longings, that he felt ready to choke on them as they clogged his throat. He squeezed at Shouta's hand gently when he got a squeeze back as they carefully navigated through the sea of people as they reentered the festival. He'd find the spot he'd been looking at before; a place toward the end of the festival that had a good view of the sky. The light scrape of the bottom of his shoes against the ground was lost.
Barely audible at times under the soft music playing around them when he tugged the black-haired lightly forwards. Shouta fell into step with him, he felt that thumb moving again to caress his finger. He happily rolled circles into the side of the black-haired teen's hand when he got a soft squeeze. He honestly felt so blessed to have that rough hand in his. He'd have thought Shouta would let go of it when they got off but the fact that he didn't? It had him over the damn moon. Oh, he was on Cloud Nine.
He gave a soft squeeze back when he glanced out of the corner of his eye at the black-haired teen next to him. There was a soft pink hue covering his cheeks that wasn't the red from the roller coaster. That curl bobbed lightly against his pink cheek. Would it be too much to tuck it behind his ear? His fingers itched to touch that pink cheek. Would that be soft? Or would his cheek feel dry like his hand had before it became clammy? Would his hair be soft or dry? It was frizzing slightly but he was sure his own hair was no better.
Making their way forward, he rolled circles into the back of Shouta's hand softly with dark eyes flicking up to him then away as his head ducked down slightly. He squeezed Shouta's hand which got him a squeeze back as he began to look around at the stalls and small games. He was more than happy to try and win Shouta another plushie, but the black-haired teen had sworn he was more than okay with not getting another one. But he wanted too. He wanted to make tonight as fun for him without burning him out.
And with everything he'd done so far? He could see that Shouta was happy. In his quiet, unspoken way he was happy. God, that weak kneed nervousness was going to be the end of him as he kept walking forward. Trying his best to keep himself moving to keep from giving in to the nervousness that was eating him up on the inside. He knew exactly what to say. He knew exactly what to do when it came to this confession of his. He'd practiced with Nemuri more than enough before she told him the best advice.
He only needed to go with his gut in a smart way. He needed to be bold but cautious to keep from spooking Shouta. And as they walked forward, he found himself clinging onto the hand in his fervently as they began to near the spot that he'd been glancing in the direction of. He needed to not over think this. He needed to give himself over to this confession and make it genuine. Authentic. He knew what he wanted to say, and he knew how to say it. It was just a matter of getting Shouta on their own so he could say it.
The hand in his was unbearably clammy, much like his own, but the black-haired teen had seemed more than fine clinging onto his hand. His heart was throbbing in his chest. His stomach flipping then dropping out from beneath him with the intent to make him sick. His hands were shaking lightly as he clung to Shouta's hand and the other holding onto his stuffed dog. A strangle hold that he refused to slacken as he walked forward to that small area with Shouta following after him like he was a little balloon.
He felt ready to vomit all over his feet. He felt ready to fall to his knees with how weak they felt when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Using his free hand to fish it out, his dog now stuffed into his armpit, he found a text from Nemuri. Telling him the fireworks would be starting soon, questioning if he confessed yet, and complaining playfully about Oboro's shameless flirting. He shoved his phone back into his pocket when Shouta's phone buzzed. The black-haired teen adjusted the hold on his plushie to dig his phone out.
They came to a stop on the sidewalk where they had a clear view of the sky. The stars in it twinkling weakly down on them due to the light pollution but he glanced over when Shouta shoved his phone back into his pocket. Red cheeked. Okay, okay! How did he start them off? He licked his lips nervously before swallowing when he squeezed at Shouta's hand earning himself a squeeze. They came to a stop with the black-haired teen stood by his side. Not quite leaning onto him but close enough for him to feel the heat rolling off of him.
Close enough for him to catch that spicy scent of his cologne. The black-haired teen said he'd been playing around with scents, but he didn't think whatever he was wearing was it. It was a spicy scent he couldn't think of the name for, but it was distinctively Shouta. He was so close to him that his fingers flexed out with a wiggle before curving back between Shouta's when he glanced at the black-haired teen. He was more than ready. He could start them off in another easy conversation, couldn't he?
Segway them into talking again like he had in the line? What did he have to lose, after all? The black-haired teen could always tell him to shut up. Refuse to answer him if he was still in that shy, embarrassed mood of his. He'd do what he could to ease them in and then he'd spill his guts the way he's wanted too for weeks. Months. It was so hard to tell how Shouta would react, even after being his friend for so long. But staring at that pink cheeked face he took a breath then cleared his throat with a light cough.
Now or never. He either said it right now or he never would. And staring at Shouta's face in the soft lighting? The way it made those dark eyes appear big? Darker? Full lips parting slightly as if to speak? The blush smothered over his cheeks? The hand in his? He wants to kiss him now more than he ever thought he would. That desire twisted into his stomach when he tore his gaze away from Shouta to gather his wits. He could do this. He knew he could. That desire to pull him close was damn near overpowering for him.
He wanted nothing more than to bury his face into the top of his head and to drag that spicy cologne into his lungs. He wants to wrap his arms around his waist and press his lips to those full ones. He wants Shouta so very badly. So fervently it had him struggling to find the words he'd been going over with Nemuri when he dragged his teeth over his lip. He had to say something. Peeking up at Shouta, he noticed the black-haired teen tilting his head back to peer up at the night sky much like he had been seconds ago.
Showing off that slender length of his throat with the subtle curve of his Adam's Apple. The sharp edge of his jaw. His chin that held that scruffy little patch of thinly forming hair. He was lovely. He couldn't believe he didn't fall for Shouta sooner than the past handful of months. Since their Sports Festival. Or was he feeling something before it? He had not a clue but God if he didn't care when he started feeling it only that he was. Staring at the black-haired teen in the soft lighting did little to help with his pounding heart.
He didn't know what to do with himself. How did he say it without annoying Shouta? Confessions were always embellished in the media. In shows and the manga's, he often read after his sister. There was no sun in the sky. No cherry blossoms fluttering around them. It was a quiet festival with soft lighting around Shouta that made him look so goddamn beautiful. His hand was in his. There was no magical atmosphere that had his breath catching in his throat at the intensity of it. There was nothing cute about this.
If anything, his breath caught in his throat due to the pounding of his heart. A fast, hard beat against his chest that he was sure that if his hearing wasn't ruined, he'd hear the beat in his ears. He'd been planning this night ever since he saw the flyer for this festival. He'd been planning on confessing to Shouta for weeks now but had never found the right time, so he made the right time. He slid his thumb against Shouta's when that thumb moved against his index finger. He wanted nothing more than to sweep him into his arms.
To hold Shouta to his chest and confess how he felt about him. He wanted to be bold, but he knew that this type of thing needed to be treated with a delicacy. People like Shouta, quiet and reserved, didn't do well to sudden changes. To loudness. It made the black-haired teen somewhat delicate. And he didn't want to just blurt this out to Shouta; he wanted to take his time with saying it. To watch his face change as he confessed the feelings that had been tormenting him for months at a time. He wanted nothing more than to kiss that pink cheek.
To trace full lips with the tips of his fingers until he had their shape memorized. He wants to twist his fingers up in those black curls as lips came down on his. He wants nothing more than to get these emotions that were plaguing him out of his system. He needed to get them out of his system. He couldn't stand the thought of staying up late at night with these longings of his damn near bringing him to tears. To wish, beg, and plead for Shouta to be his to some unknown, faceless God who would listen.
This was something that he had to take into his own hands. And staring at Shouta now in the soft lighting around them? The awe to that face as he stared up when he tightened his grasp on the black-haired teen's hand which got him a squeeze back when he felt heat gathering in the back of his neck. Stinging at the tips of his ears when he got a squeeze back from the black-haired teen. He clung to his hand when Shouta's head dropped slightly with dark eyes flicking to him. Locking onto his. And God, they were bottomless.
A deep, dark color he could feel himself utterly drowning in the longer he kept that eye contact. Was there a chance that Shouta felt the same? Was there the slimmest chance? He couldn't deny he'd felt that jealousy earlier when Oboro had been holding his hands. A jealousy he'd tried his best to keep off of his face. Shouta had looked guilty but there had been a worry pinching at his face when they'd begun talking. Was there the tiniest chance Shouta could possibly hold the same feelings? Or was there something between him and Oboro?
He had not a clue, but he knew going forward tonight he was taking a big chance. Staring into those dark eyes, he found he wants to take that chance. Before the fireworks went off. Before they met up with Oboro and Nemuri to crash at Oboro's home. Before he could let himself be talked out of saying something to him. He watched full lips parting slightly with a trembling breath rushing out of the black-haired teen as the hand in his tightened on his. Leaning towards him when shoes scraped over the ground.
And then Shouta turning to face him fully with dark eyes locking onto his. Looking at him with an intensity that had his heart jumping wildly into his throat as he went over the words. Those simple, simple words when his phone buzzed in his pocket again. Mothers? Or Nemuri? He had not a clue. Nothing, right in this instance, mattered more than the black-haired teen who was swaying forward before taking a step closer to him with the hand in his holding on tightly. Was it just him? Or was Shouta feeling it too?
He licked his lips again with dark eyes flicking down to catch the motion when he found himself leaning in towards Shouta who clung onto his hand as fervently as he clung onto his. Fingers digging into the back of his hand with their squeeze when he moved his thumb in a caress when he cleared his throat. Now or never. It was now or never. He was either going to say the truth about his feelings for him or he was going to keep his mouth shut about it. He wanted to get it over with the easiest way he could.
"Are you, um, having fun, Sho? Has this- I mean, this hasn't been too much on you, has it? You can tell me if you wanna leave before the fireworks or anything! Did you at least like the, uh, Ferris wheel?" He hated the babble to his voice when he spit out the first words in his mind. Not the ones he wanted to say but he couldn't help but fill the silence as he felt heat rushing to his face when he fidgeted. "Did- I wanted to ask, what did you say on the Ferris wheel? My hearing aids were down so I couldn't make it out."
Full lips trembled silently when the black-haired teen's face turned red before his very eyes as he fidgeted foot to foot. Was Shouta nervous? He had been easily triggered to blush all night long in the same way he was. He knew his plans for tonight, but Shouta seemed jumpier. Easier to blush and hide his face away from him. He watched dark eyes flicking away briefly before looking up at him. He looked painfully shy. Nervous. The hand in his squeezed. "I-I said that, um, you're pretty."
"You think I'm-I'm pretty?" He hated how high, how incredulous his voice was when Shouta winced slightly with eyes flicking away from his again. Shouta had really said something like that? What was he going to do with himself now knowing he said that? Shouta, who was stiff with his words. Shouta, who was unbelievably reserved and shy. The fact he said that on the Ferris wheel had his heart pounding up to his damn throat. "I-I think you're pretty too, Sho. I think you're beautiful, yo-you know that?"
A soft, shy smile curled over Shouta's lips when he peeked up from beneath lashes when he stuffed his dog under the arm holding onto his hand. Reaching up, he hesitated before tucking that stray curl behind his ear where he lightly traced his fingers down the edge of his ear. It had those dark eyes flickering at him with an unreadable expression. Hesitant when the hand in his squeezed as a trembling breath left Shouta. "I wouldn't call myself, um, beautiful. Not when yo-you're so much prettier than me."
God, how was he going to do this? How was he going to say this? He felt like he was choking on a lump of emotion that was strangling him with each pound of his heart against his chest. Flying up to his throat when he found himself letting out a quiet breath when he licked his lips. How did he go about this? How did he say this? How did he spit it out? He swallowed when he fidgeted in his spot slightly. "No, I wouldn't say that! Yo-You're beautiful, Shouta! I think you're very beautiful!"
"Zashi." The quiet, low pitch of Shouta's voice was damn near husky. There was an expression pinching at that red face when the black-haired teen's eyes dropped down away from him. As if it were a silent reproach of his compliment when he swallowed around that lump in his throat. Now. He needed to say this now before Shouta got so flustered he insisted they go off to find Nemuri and Oboro. He can't let that happen. Not when he was scraping his wits together to spit it out.
"Shouta, I have something I really, really want to-to tell you." A strained hum left Shouta when he winced at the crack in his voice when those dark eyes locked onto his once more. Staring at him with an intensity to get his stomach flipping over itself with a sickening intensity. It had him pausing to swallow again when he took a breath. He can do this. He can fucking do this! "Yo-You know how you're one of my closest friends? That you're my best friend?"
"Of course I do. You're my best friend too, Zashi." There was a husky note to Shouta's voice that had his hands trembling slightly as he squished the dog to his side. Squeezed at Shouta's hand to rid him of that shake when he glanced down when the black-haired teen licked at his own lips. An intensity to his gaze when he noticed the tremble to the hand in his. Identical to his own. He squeezed gently at his hand when the black-haired teen blinked at him with a trembling breath being taken. "Go on."
Dragging his teeth over his bottom lip, he shut his eyes briefly to take a deep breath before opening them again. Shouta was his best friend. His closest friend. The one who cheered him up when he got his braces. When he was being made fun of for his quirk slip ups. When he was helping him with his math homework while he helped him with his English. This was Shouta. And there was nobody he wanted more than him. "Sh-Shouta Aizawa, I really like you! And I'm falling head over heels for you so hard it's sickening!"
Black lashes fluttered in a blink with dark eyes widening at him with his cracking voice when brows flew up on Shouta's face. The hand in his squeezing so damn hard he found himself squeezing back when Shouta's mouth fell open slightly. A look of surprise but there was- was relief to his gaze? He couldn't understand it, but he could feel his phone buzzing again. The lights around the lowering before shutting off a group at a time. Was it time? Shouta swayed forward with his hand tightened on his. "Really, Zashi?"
The wind blew over them rustling that lock against a red cheek. Wide eyes locking onto his as the hand in his squeezed again with the arm holding his plush cat to his chest tightening. The relief in that gaze was slowly melting away for something akin to surprised happiness. A hesitant joy. He raised their conjoined hands up to touch that red cheek. Soft. It was so soft. "I really mean it! You have no clue how-how much I've wanted to touch you! Kiss you! I want you so badly, Shouta, you have no clue!"
"I think I do." Hoarse. Quiet. Shouta was looking at him with that wide-eyed gaze as the hand in his squeezed tightly while that arm squeezed at his cat plush. Another breeze overtook them when Shouta stepped closer towards him with a mere inch between them as the black-haired teen looked at him. With such longing it hurt him to see his own longing being reflected in him. Intense. Breathtaking. "I'm-I'm not the best but I get it. I understand you perfectly, Zashi. And I don't do confessions, but I feel the same."
"You want to to-touch me?" Shouta turned redder when he nodded with his gaze remaining locked onto him when he swallowed. "Yo-You want to kiss me?" Again, Shouta gave another nod with that deep blush smothering itself over his cheeks when he tugged at their conjoined hands only to have toes hit against his. Close, close, close. His own face felt uncomfortably hot when he took a trembling breath. "If-If you want all of that then does that me-mean that you-?"
"Want you too? I do. I want you very much, Hizashi Yamada. I feel like an idiot given how we're basically polar opposites but God, I really am an idiot, aren't I? For wanting you. For liking you as much as I do." It felt like Shouta had knocked all the damn air out of his lungs. Like he had just been sucker punched and left wheezing on his knees when Shouta's face tipped up with those dark eyes locking onto his. "It's cliché but I think I am falling for you, but I don't- I feel stupid for it, yo-you know?"
"You're not stupid!" Breathless. Husky. He tucked his dog plush beneath the arm holding onto Shouta's hand when he reached out. Hesitantly before flinching when he forced his hand to come down on Shouta's waist with dark eyes darting down before coming back onto his when he realized his hands were shaking. All of him felt like it was shaking with knees threatening to knock together. "If you're stupid then I'm stupid! I-I didn't think you'd ever feel that way because I'm-I'm so annoying to you! You never fail to tell me that!"
"Because you are annoying!" And then a wheezing laugh was leaving Shouta when the hand in his tightened with a squeeze before pulling away with that hand coming up to rest on his shoulder where fingers plucked at the fabric of his coat. A soft, shy smile curled onto Shouta's lips when he took a trembling breath. "You're so fucking annoying but I like that. God, Zashi, I've been suffering with these emotions an-and Oboro told me I didn't have to do it tonight, but you beat me to it, didn't you?"
He couldn't help a breathless laugh of his own when he squeezed at Shouta's waist when his other hand joined his right. Shaking on his waist when the hand on his shoulder lifted up with fingertips touching his red cheek before flinching away with dark eyes watching. And then that rough palm was pressing to his cheek. Clammy. "I guess I did! But I just couldn't take it anymore, you know? I love you too much to keep it to myself! Shouta Aizawa, I love you so fucking much an-and I want you to know it from now on!"
"You annoying, loud mouthed pain in the ass, I love you." He couldn't help the hysterical giggle that burst out of him when his eyes stung slightly when that palm rubbed gently at his cheek when he felt moisture welling in his eyes. The relief to hear it had his eyes filling faster than he could stop it when he blinked frantically. Trying his best to get rid of them when a small tear dripped down his cheek. "I love you, Hizashi. I think I am, like you said, falling head over heels for you."
God, he wasn't making this easy with tears dripping down his cheek that Shouta did his best to rub away before he lifted his right hand from his waist to rub at his eyes awkwardly. When he locked his gaze onto Shouta's face again, he swore those dark eyes were glistening as well when the hand on his cheek slid in another rub that had him leaning into it. Nuzzling his cheek to his palm when he took a breath before swallowing. "Can-Can I please kiss you? Please? Before I lose my fucking mind?"
"Yes."
And he swore their timing could be no perfect when he heard that first zip followed by a crackling boom of a firework as he leaned in. Pressing his lips to full ones that he found were a bit dry, but they were so full. Plush. Thick against his own. He dropped his hand back down awkwardly to Shouta's waist when he curled his arms around it to hold him close, close, close. It was a relief he hadn't felt in months. A relief to get his words out of him that had been bubbling up. Shouta felt so slender in his arms but filled them up perfectly.
His lips moved awkwardly against his as the fireworks overhead boomed with their crackling bursts. Lights lit up the back of his eyelids, but he could hardly focus on them when his glasses pressed against the arch of his brow. Against his cheekbone. He moved his lips clumsily against Shouta's as lips crushed themselves to his. He could feel the black-haired teen curving to fit in his arms as he moved his lips against his. Moving together with that light whispering of their moving lips ringing out. It was everything.
It merely confirmed those sparks he'd felt when he and Shouta shared that kiss the night they played spin the bottle. He clutched Shouta closer to him as their lips moved together with the crackling boom of the fireworks above them. Arms tightened around his shoulders with a hand coming up to cup the back of his head. Time could freeze right now, and he'd be the happiest person. He couldn't get enough of those clumsy kisses of theirs. Shouta's lips felt fucking perfect against his. The way he carved into his arms felt perfect.
Everything about this moment would stand out brighter than the others. He could die right now, the happiest he'll ever be. He felt painfully awkward as he moved his lips against the black-haired teen's, but it seemed to be a shared sentiment with a quiet whine leaving Shouta that rang with that frustration. He tightened his arms around his waist with the soft caress of Shouta's lips pressing firmly to his as they moved slowly. Trying to find their rhythm with one another when Shouta was pulling back.
And he found himself rushing forward after those full lips that were pressed to his again. And again. Again, again, again. Short, pecking kisses given to him that had his heart pounding sickeningly against his chest as they came down on his again. One, two, three, four kisses given to him when he opened his eyes with a trembling breath to find dark eyes on him. Had Shouta kept his eyes open this entire time? They were half raised as if he'd tried to keep them open when he leaned in for a fifth kiss that was deepened.
He let his own eyes flutter shut. Holding Shouta impossibly tight against him. And he knew this could come back to bite them in the ass for kissing like this in such a public space. Their awkward kissing would no doubt grab the attention of parents. Children. Groups. But he didn't care because he was finally, finally, finally kissing Shouta. He was finally touching him. Things he'd dreamed, longed for, desired and wished he could do to him. Dreams that would come to rip him apart from the inside out.
And God knows that this reality was better than any dream. Then any fantasy of his. Shouta felt the same way. Shouta loves him and he was falling for him just as hard. Moving his lips against Shouta's, trembling breaths fanned over his cheek much like his own when he slid his hands up Shouta's back slightly causing it to arch. As if it were a ticklish reaction. He held onto his coat, bunching fistfuls of the thin material into his hands, as he moved his lips against those full ones. God, they were more perfect than he ever imagined them being.
He could stay just like this for the rest of his life and be content. Shouta was his. He twisted to fit into those slender arms wrapped around his shoulders as he moved his lips slowly. Clumsy, slow kisses given were returned to him with a fervor that had him absolutely melting into Shouta's arms. He slid his hands idly along his back as he pressed his lips firmly to the black-haired teens with that slow speed allowing him to catch the quiet sound of their whispering lips moving together under the booming cracks of the fireworks up above him.
He could care less about them. All that mattered was the black-haired teen in his arms who was kissing him with such sweetness it was sure to give him a damn cavity. With such longing it had him eager to return the emotions to Shouta who breathed shakily through his nose in breaths identical to his own. Fuck, his heart was pounding sickeningly against his chest even as he kissed Shouta. His first kiss. It had him shaking as he held onto the black-haired teen in his arms. His best friend. His first love.
His Shouta. There was nothing anyone could do to tear him out of his arms. He'd fight tooth and nail to keep Shouta just like this. Lips moving against his in soft, clumsy slides that he found himself copying. Mirroring the best he could to rid them of the awkwardness of it, but he was no professional at kissing. Neither was Shouta. And they both had much to learn for he couldn't imagine every kiss of theirs remaining clumsy. Awkward like his. It was unbelievably easy to ignore the cheers and claps around them for the fireworks up above them.
Bright flashes that lit up the backs of his eyelids. Sparks ran along his back and fluttered into his stomach the longer he spent with those full lips on his. He could kiss this boy for hours. He could happily hand himself over and let Shouta go nuts on kissing him. To kiss, hold, and caress his back the way he was as another breeze overtook them but he happily ignored it. Shouta shuddered in his arms with racing breaths fanning onto his uncomfortably hot cheek. There was a tremor to them much like his own.
Sliding his hands slightly, he placed his left on his lower back while the right slid up a bit higher along his back. Holding him impossibly close to him was appropriate. Even if what they were doing would be seen as inappropriate if they were caught. And yet he didn't find himself caring. Not with the booms and crackles of the fireworks above them or the people around. All that mattered in that moment was Shouta. Those full, plush lips against his as he kept his hands in their positions on the black-haired teen's back when his phone buzzed in his pocket.
He happily ignored it as he moved his lips with a bit of confidence now that the clumsy awkwardness was diminishing subtly. It was still painfully awkward but now that he knew what he was doing? He was sure in a few more minutes it would be tolerable. It was just like he wished. Fantasized about. Kissing Shouta until he had it down perfectly. The hand cupping the back of his head twitched before scratching idly at him which sent shivers down his back when the booming crackles above them had him flinching at the slight feedback.
He'd meant to turn them down before the fireworks, but he happily ignored it in favor of catching the quiet whispering of their moving lips. And then Shouta pulled back again leaving him with a strangled whimper in his throat. Not yet. He didn't want to stop kissing him yet. He chased after him again with one, two, three kisses being given when Shouta then began to kiss at his cheeks. At the smatterings of freckles there then to the bridge of his nose. The arch of his brow. Firm with those lips against his face.
And he couldn't stop himself from giggling when he began to return those pecking kisses being placed over his cheeks. His jaw. He targeted Shouta's smooth, feverish cheeks and the sharp angle of his jaw. His forehead and the arch of his brow. Across his cheekbones and the tip of his nose. Giggling with that hysteric note to it when Shouta, much to his surprise, began giggling with him. It was an infectious, deep sound that had him giggling all the harder as he kissed on the face, he imagined kissing thousands of times.
The warmth of his blush beneath his lips kept him going. To kiss until Shouta was redder than a damn tomato. He nuzzled his lips and nose into his cheek briefly with Shouta's giggles coming out of him with that same hysterical edge as his own. And he used his hold on his back to swing him up into his arms as he spun on his feet. It had the teen yelping, but he didn't mind it when he was slowing to set him down and full lips came down on his again. God, he felt insatiable. He wanted to kiss Shouta for hours.
There was a budding confidence from himself and Shouta making itself abundantly clear when he moved his lips against those plush full ones. Swaying on their feet slightly, an arm shifted with a hand moving to cup the back of his neck much like the one on the back of his head. Nails scratched at the nape of his neck sending shivers down his back. God, he loves him. Loves, loves, loves him. And the fact that he now knew those emotions were shared? It had him gasping through his nose with that delight twisting into him
He kissed the black-haired teen with enthusiasm that was returned to him. He wants to go home and kiss Shouta all night. He wants to lay out on Oboro's pull out couch and kiss this boy until he is an expert at it. To learn the ins and outs that made up a person like Shouta Aizawa. He slid his hand slightly along his lower back with lips sliding against his with that shared enthusiasm as fireworks boomed above. He could stand here all night kissing this boy and be the happiest he'd ever be in his entire life.
And then before he knew it, he was smiling into the kiss making it awkward. He was smiling like a damn fool as Shouta's lips moved against his but he could feel them twitching. Curling up when the black-haired tee pulls away only to have smiling lips pressed against his cheeks again. Trailing over them with kisses that had him giggling wildly with that hysterical note when he tightened his arms around Shouta and lifted him off his feet to spin him again with lips attacking his face with kisses that returned to him.
When he returned those kisses delightedly with Shouta's hands sliding down to intertwin against the nape of his neck as he placed him down again. He swayed with the black-haired boy in his arms as he nuzzled his lips and nose to his hot cheek. It was everything he could have hoped it to be. In most of his imaginings, he'd hoped that Shouta would be in the same boat. That the feelings he held for him would be returned tenfold. And as the last firework was spit up into the sky with a deafening boom, he pulled his face from Shouta's.
Glancing up at the brilliant green and red of the firework with Shouta glancing up as well. Arms tightly wrapped around his shoulders when lips were pressing against his cheek. He giggled when he kissed the tip of Shouta's nose causing it to scrunch up slightly when he leaned down to press a long, firm kiss to the black-haired teens. No sliding. No awkwardness. Just a hard press that allowed him to admire the plushness of the black-haired teen's full lips against his own. He felt euphoric off of those kisses.
Soaring in his own head with the relief of finally saying something. The relief of finally telling the one person he was crushing the hardest on how he felt. And it had him absolutely melting in Shouta's arms when the fireworks ended. There was a slight stiffness to his back when Shouta began to move his arms and cat plush from around his shoulders. He wanted to whine and protest but he knew that Shouta would get self-conscious now that eyes weren't on the sky anymore. And he respected it one hundred percent.
He slid his hand down his back to along his waist when he squeezed at the black-haired teen. God, his cheeks were red. So red as the lights flickered back to life so that finding exits would be easier. He bends down to pick up his dog plush, when Shouta flicked an ant off of the muzzle of it. And he got one of those sweet, shy smiles from the black-haired teen who glanced down with that shyness. He couldn't deny he felt rather shy himself to be standing before Shouta after those firm kisses given to one another.
As if it were different now that the lights were back on. Shouta was his first kiss. It had him lifting his hand absent mindedly to his lips which tingled furiously as he pressed the pads of his fingers down on them. His first kiss. He'd never thought it'd be like this, but it had his face burning with a never-ending heat, he swore it when he peeked up at Shouta. The black-haired teen surely shared the same line of thought with fingers pressed to slightly parted lips when dark eyes darted away from him. The back.
A cagey back and forth that had him giggling when that smile trembled on full lips. God, he hoped Shouta would be his first kiss. He'd hoped, hoped, hoped and now the reality that Shouta was his first kiss had him all but thrumming from the excitement. From the elation that he had gotten his first kiss from Shouta. And he was throwing his arms around Shouta with a laugh as he clutched his dog in his hand. The black-haired teen jumped then stiffened his arms slightly from the sudden burst of affection.
But despite that stiff stance of his, a hand came down to hold his waist as he laughed with that exhilaration. That relief that had him tearing up seconds ago as he swayed side to side in a square formation with Shouta in his arms. He turned his head to kiss at that red cheek delightedly earning himself another stiffening resistance when the let go of Shouta and giggled when dark eyes narrowed at him. A scowl but he could see the joy sparkling in those dark eyes. The shared relief that was traded between them.
The relief to the black-haired teen when he then raised his hand up to cup Shouta's cheek as he slid his thumb over his cheekbone as he took a trembling breath. Just one more question. One more part to his confession and then he'd be content to walk home with Shouta's hand in his when Nemuri and Oboro inevitably found him. He licked his tingling lips before smiling softly at the black-haired teen when he slid his thumb over his cheekbone again. One more question to seal the deal is all that they needed.
"Shouta Aizawa?" Black lashes fluttered when the black-haired teen hummed out in that strained note when he felt that cheek pressing into his palm slightly when he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket, but he ignored it. He'd find Nemuri and Oboro after. For now, he had one more burning question for the black-haired teen before him that had a softening warmth to that gaze as his scowl dropped away. "Will you please accept my confession and be my boyfriend from here on to forever?"
"From now to forever, huh? Won't you get tired of me?" He shook his head when Shouta giggled again. Such a deep, infectious sound but it had a note of that strained hysteria to it when the black-haired teen nuzzled his palm. Tipping his face towards it with a hand coming up to cup the back of his hand. Soft lips pressing to his palm sent a tingle racing up his arm and down his back when Shouta smiled softly at him. "If you won't tire of me, I'll gladly accept my confession. Hizashi Yamada?"
He was breathless. Drowning in his excitement, hsi relief, that had him swaying on his feet when he slid his thumb over Shouta's cheekbone. The warmth in that gaze was melting him through when that smooth cheek nuzzled itself against his palm again when he forced himself to focus. He'd have time to drift away later. Later, later, later. He cleared his throat then with a giddy giggle. "Yes, Shouta?"
"I'll happily be your boyfriend if you'll be-be mine." The black-haired seemed hesitant when fingers intertwined with his when Shouta pressed his palm to the back of his hand. There was a warmth sparkling in those eyes that looked so unbelievably bottomless in the soft lighting of the festival as groups of people walked past them and he swore he heard Nemuri calling for him. He ignored it for the moment as he focused on Shouta. "Will you please accept my confession? Will you be my boyfriend?"
Leaning into the black-haired teen, he pressed his palm in a rub against that feverish cheek. God, that blush was absolutely stunning on Shouta. He was stunning period. There would never be enough time in the day for him to admire how beautiful Shouta Aizawa was. He almost regretted confessing weeks before they'd be apart for their work studies. But he was sure the four of them would be back together before he knew it, but he loved those hitching breaths when he leaned in closer. "Yes!"
And he pressed his lips to Shouta's in a kiss that blazed with that smoldering passion. Shouta was his boyfriend. He didn't need anything more or anything less tonight than the simplistic pleasure in knowing that Shouta was his. That was more than enough.